CHAPTER 7 Messages for Analysis (pp. 202-03) Message 7.

A The customer service agents tone is informal and unprofessional. 1. Responses to the customers comments contain an IM acronym (LOL) that is inappropriate for a business context. 2. The agents remarks suggest a lack of knowledge on his or her part. 3. The agent also suggests that the problem is the customers fault, even though there is no evidence to show that the customer has done anything wrong. 4. It would be more effective to adopt a more formal (but still conversational) tone, to gather more information from the customer, and to avoid speculation about what caused the problem. 5. The focus throughout should be on helping the customer resolve the issue. Here is one possible revision: Agent: Customer: Agent: Customer: Agent: Customer: Agent: Customer: Agent: Thanks for contacting Home Exercise Equipment. How may I help you? Im having trouble assembling my home gym. Okay, let me get some information about your gym so I can help you with that. Do you still have the box? Yes. Greatthe model number is located on the front near the UPC code. Please read that number to me. Its model number HG-8975. Thank you. What problem have you encountered? The cross bar that connects the pillars isnt long enough to reach across the pillars. I understand. Theres a spacer in the box that can help with that. Its a cylinder about 6 inches long with internal threads on one end and a connector on the other. Do you see that part? Yes. What should I do with it? Just insert one end of the cross bar into the threaded end of the spacer and tighten it, and that will make the cross bar long enough to reach both pillars

Customer: Agent:

*See Transparencies 21 and 22 for the poor version of this IM exchange and for an example of how the agent could have handled the situation more effectively. * See Transparency Masters 7-1 and 7-2 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this message. Message 7.B The post is written in a tone that is unprofessional and excessively negative. The author loses additional credibility by admitting that he or she has based the entire post on a very limited amount of information. 1. The informal language might be appropriate for a personal blog, but not for a corporate one (WERE DOOMED!!!!!, it aint pretty, etc.).

2. The purpose of the post is unclear. It sounds like the only purpose is to allow the author to vent, but some comments (particularly in the paragraph that begins, Ive been saying for years) indicate that the author has some valid suggestions on how the company could improve. 3. The authors drastic claims are not supported with adequate evidence. A 10-second glimpse of the prototype would have provided only a limited understanding of the prototypes quality and functionality. Also, the authors interpretation of the grin is highly subjective. It may have meant that the robots price was low, but could just have easily suggested that the price was incredibly high. 4. The final paragraph establishes an adversarial relationship with the audience, casting the entire post as tirade based on their failure to take the authors warnings seriously. Here is one possible revision: Impressive Prototype from Motoman I visited the Sikorsky plant in Stratford yesterday to check the status of the assembly line retrofit we performed for them last year. While there, I saw part of a demonstration of a prototype robot from Motoman. It was, to say the least, impressive. I witnessed only a small part of the demo, but from what I saw the robot was compact, fast, and incredibly maneuverable. Motoman may be onto something with its emphasis on size, speed, and maneuverability. Our products are strong in terms of accuracy and payload capacity, but to remain competitive we may need to pay more attention to factors that have become our rivals trademarks. *See Transparencies 23 and 24 for poor and improved versions of this message. * See Transparency Masters 7-3 and 7-4 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this message. Message 7.C Four fairly obvious weaknesses in this podcast are as follows: 1. The introduction is abrupt and could offend a professional audience. 2. The speaker insults listeners by saying that anyone who isnt familiar with social media has been living under a rock. 3. The podcast exhibits a poorly planned sequence, forcing the speaker to backtrack and define social media halfway through the recording. 4. After listing the various types of social media, the speaker says notice the common threads, then introduces the first thread by saying One, thereby implying that at least a two and perhaps a three are to follow. However, only the first item is discussed, leaving listeners to wonder what happened to the rest of the common threads. Exercises (pp. 202-04) 7.1 More than one medium would work for these examples, but students should be able to support their choices. Here are some possible solutions: a. A website would work well since it would allow users to search quickly for

b. c.

d. e.

information on their specific issue, and it could be updated easily to reflect changes in product design. A handwritten note would be best for a message of condolence. Since the company is small and this resignation will affect everyone, a meeting would be the best way to prevent false rumors about when and why she is leaving. A blog would be appropriate for these messages, since it could easily incorporate pertinent information about current events. A blog would also work well, since it would enable everyone involved with the project to post questions, review past posts, and have easy access to a record of who is responsible for what.

7.2

Responses will vary. Here are some examples: a. Updated budget figures for Jarman renovation b. Request for input on new marketing brochure c. June production schedule As written, the memo is too dictatorial and implies that employees are not pulling their weight in the office. The memo will offend the most conscientious employees. Even those guilty of taking a little extra time now and then will still resent the tone of the memo. The writer can treat this as a routine memo, with a straightforward change in routine procedures. The first paragraph can contain the main idea of the change in break procedures, with logical, justifiable details in the following paragraphs. The tone of the message should not reflect talking down to employees or lecturing. A courteous close that offers assistance completes the direct approach. Here is a possible solution, based on what students have learned in Chapters 37. To: Billing Personnel CC: Subject: Changes in Break Procedures Starting Monday, January 1, 2008, scheduled break times will be used for morning breaks, lunch breaks, and afternoon breaks. Your supervisor will assign your specific break times. Both the morning and afternoon breaks will be 15 minutes, as has been customary in the past. The lunch break will be a regular 30-minute break. The use of scheduled break times will allow us to achieve our productivity goals and ensure that a certain number of employees are always available. Once your new scheduled break and lunch times are assigned, please adhere to them. Should you need to leave your work assignment at any other time, please talk with your supervisor first. Please stop by my office (room 243) or call me at extension 3454 to discuss our new changes.

7.3

7.4

Students should revise each statement to make it more formal, but avoid substituting obsolete or pompous language for the originals. a. Based on the information you have provided, I recommend our quad turbo sprayer. b. I am glad I could help you. c. Ive found the L400 to be effective. d. Customers who use this sprayer often see a 20-30 percent reduction in fumes.

7.5

Students might revise the blog posting in the following manner: It appears that we arent going to meet the June 1 commitment to ship 100 operating tables to Southeast Surgical Supply since weve been unable to get our hands on enough high-grade chromium steel to meet our production schedule. This morning we learned that well only be able to make 30 tables. Were very embarrassed that we wont be able to keep our promise to our customer and upset this happened since we were warned about the chromium steel shortage in advance. Six months ago purchasing told us about the shrinking supplies and suggested that we advance-buy the chromium steel we would need for the next 12 months. Unfortunately, we were not able to do so given our corporate policy that restricts advance purchasing to three months in advance. Since our division is responsible for completing this order, were going to be blamed for the inability to fill the order and for possibly losing a customer to our competition, Crighton Mfg. We have urged the corporate office to reexamine the advance purchasing policy so that we are to be more financially flexible and able to compete.

7.6

Here is a revised version of the blog post Get Ready for our Office Move! We will move to our new offices this weekend. To prepare for the move, please clean out your desks and pack the contents in the boxes available in the staff lounge. Please take all items off the walls and pack them in boxes also. You will need to take your personal belongings home with you to ensure their safety during the move. On Monday, we will unpack, arrange our new offices, and get back to work. Even with the move, we should still be able to meet all production schedules and current deadlines.

*See Transparency 25 for a copy of this improved version. CASE SOLUTIONS On the following pages are suggested solutions for this chapters cases. They are complete and fully formatted so that you can copy them onto acetate transparencies. *Ready-made transparencies are available for the cases listed below. Each case has two solutionsone below average and one above average (which match the solutions in this manual): Case 4, Thats not the way things really are: Correcting economic misinformation (Transparencies 26 and 27) Case 7, Legitimate and legal: Defending technology sales to Chinese police agencies (Transparencies 28 and 29)

Messages for Analysis (pp. 238239) Message 8.A The message fails to communicate well for the following reasons: 1. The message tells readers more information than they need (the dining hall is closing for financial reasons, and college students can be hard on equipment). 2. The tone of the message is too chatty and familiar. 3. The type of microwave is not specified. 4. The number of microwaves to be ordered is specified only as big. 5. The electrical requirements of the dorm rooms should be included. * See Transparency 46 for an improved version of this letter. *See Transparency Masters 8-1 and 8-2 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter. Message 8.B The letter does not communicate effectively for the following reasons: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The local business-supply store is not specified. Proof of purchase is not included. The letter offers unnecessary information in the second sentence. Information on computer specifications is not included. The writer doesnt specify which action is being requested. Because of a lack of information, resolving the problem will take much longer than necessary.

* See Transparency 47 for an improved version of this letter. *See Transparency Masters 8-3 and 8-4 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter. Message 8.C The tone of this letter is too informal, and the organization is poor. 1. Use a direct approach and begin with the good news (Your check is on its way!). 2. Follow the good news with clarifying detail. 3. The housekeeping inspector and maintenance engineer are not clearly identified, and references to them are confusing. 4. In the last paragraph, the writer sounds condescending. 5. The writer should be available for any necessary follow-up. To encourage future business, the good writer will remind the customer that the goal of the company is to provide good service. * See Transparency 48 for an improved version of this letter.

*See Transparency Masters 8-5 and 8-6 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter. Message 8.D This letter of recommendation takes too long to get to the point. It provides very little useful information and lacks objectivity. 1. The letter begins with a lengthy and unnecessary explanation of why the letter was forwarded. 2. The me-oriented opening fails to state the purpose of the letter. The name of the job candidate isnt even mentioned until the end of the paragraph. Furthermore, the writersstand-offish, self-important tone is likely to annoy the reader. The tone is offensive and egotistical, implying that the reader should have written to the human resources director in the first place, not to the president of the company. 3. No reference is made to the readers right to receive the information. 4. The letter reveals discretionary information from Nick Oshinskis personnel file. Because of laws governing confidential information, the writer should not reveal details about performance reviews or number of vacation days taken. 5. The writers opinion is irrelevant and potentially libelous. 6. The writer obviously does not know Oshinski and should not comment on his performance except to report the starting and ending dates of his employment. 7. The tone of the rewritten letter should be professional and not chatty. 8. The rewritten letter should end on a positive, helpful note. (Offering an alternative is a good idea.) * See Transparency 49 for an improved version of this letter. * See Transparency Masters 8-7 and 8-8 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter. Exercises (pp. 239240) 8.1 a. Thank you for your recent e-mail request for technical support related to your cable Internet service. To help us address your questions quickly and thoroughly, please visit www.rapidnet.com/techsupport/ticketID88903 and take a few moments to provide some additional information. We look forward to hearing from you. b. We are sorry for the inconvenience you experienced with your lost luggage. Please e-mail us a detailed list of the lost items and complete the following survey so that we may compensate you as quickly as possible. (Subject: Response to your lost luggage claim) c. Your rsum is impressive. We would like to meet with you on June 15 at 1 p.m. Please let us know by Friday, June 1, if this date and time are convenient for you. (Subject: Schedule an interview) d. Starting Monday, we will place white plastic recycling bins next to every elevator door in the building. Please use these bins to recycle your unwanted paper, and help save our environment. (Subject: New recycling program) a. Please attend our special, by-invitation-only 40% off sale on November 9. b. Youll receive a tote bag and a voucher for five iTunes downloads with every $50 donation to our radio station. c. The director plans on arriving at Mondays 11:00 a.m. meeting a bit early.

8.2

d. Paul Eccleson reviewed newer types of order forms at todays meeting. If you have questions regarding these forms, please call Paul at his office. 8.3 Student responses will vary, depending on the greeting they choose. If they select a greeting that offers praise for a job well done or for the completion of a difficult task, they should personalize it by mentioning something specific about the job or the person. If students are sending this to a business colleague, they should use a cordial but not overly familiar close. a. Because you will be communicating this informational message to all employees, e-mail would be an efficient and effective medium to use. You might also want to post a notice on all company bulletin boards. b. Either place a reminder phone call to the customer or send him a reminder postcard. Both messages should be brief and informal since this is a good customer who usually pays on time. If you receive no payment within 15 days, follow up with a formal letter. Students should remove any vague, excess, and impolite wording. These are sample rewrites: a. Please call to schedule an appointment by May 15. This will allow enough time for ordering the parts needed to get your air conditioning system ready for the summer season. b. Please send your catalog by December 1 so that I can plan my Christmas purchases. I look forward to learning more about your products. c. To schedule an appointment with one of our knowledgeable local mortgage specialists, please call our hotline at 1-800-555-8765. Our specialists can answer your questions about mortgage rates, closing procedures, or any other aspect of the mortgage process. We want to make your home-buying experience a pleasant one.

8.4

8.5

8.6 This exercise involves deciding between simply honoring the customers claim and going one step farther to help the customer find a more compatible product. Students will likely have differing opinions on the best option. Going beyond a simple refund could restore the customers confidence in your company by reassuring him that your company truly cares about its clients. Messages for Analysis (pp. 279-280)

MESSAGE 9.A
The letter is poorly organized and suffers from these additional communication problems: 1. Although the letter starts and ends on a positive note, the charges are introduced in a negative manner (Unfortunately . . .) 2. The pertinent information is scattered throughout the letter rather than being listed. 3. The third paragraph starts with a vague sentence (all the arrangements will be the same), which leaves room for disagreement. 4. The fee for the tubs of ice with soft drinks is not specified. 5. The small charge for clean-up could quickly amount to $300 or more, but the writer does not specify what is and is not included in the clean-up. 6. Neither specific information about dates nor a call-back number is included. *See Transparency 69 for an improved version of the letter.

*See Transparency Masters 9-1 and 9-2 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter.

MESSAGE 9.B
This letter is we oriented and negative. It suffers from these additional problems: 1. The letter fails to thank the reader for writing. 2. The writer sounds irritated that the reader asked for an adjustment, but then the writer proceeds to invite the reader to come look at new models for purchase. 3. The writer implies that damage was caused by the reader or by someone in the readers office. 4. Information about the warranty is delivered in a negative way. 5. Although the letter states, you are a valued customer, this statement seems insincere. 6. Instructions for the reader are scattered throughout the letter. 7. The tone is presumptuous. *See Transparency 70 for an improved version of the letter. *See Transparency Masters 9-3 and 9-4 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter.

MESSAGE 9.C
This letter is tactless, we oriented, and negative. It suffers from these additional problems: 1. The letter sets a negative tone in the first sentence (regret). 2. The writer fails to thank the student for applying. 3. The we orientation focuses on the problems faced by the company, not those faced by the student. 4. The notification of rejection is undiplomatic and tactless. 5. The close is dismissive and misleading (Were sure). 6. Closing with an apology is unnecessary and negative. *See Transparency 71 for an improved version of the letter. *See Transparency Masters 9-5 and 9-6 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter. Exercises (pp. 280281) 9.1 The best organizational plan for these messages is as follows: a. Direct. Although, if you have anything to do with the reason the client is leaving, then you may want to use a buffer. b. If its not a special order, then direct is fine. c. Indirect. Give reasons first. d. Direct. Routine matter. e. Indirect. State good news first in buffer. f. Indirect. Needs buffer and explanation first.

g. Indirect. Needs buffer and explanation first. h. Indirect. Even though the customer has misused a product, the explanation should not place blame directly on the customer. i. Direct. This message is routine for repair departments. 9.2 De-emphasizing the negative newspossible revisions: a. Even though unused tickets are nonrefundable, your ticket is still valid and may be used to travel to the same destination within one year from the original ticket date. b. After a thorough search, we were able to find a supplier that can provide you with a decorative package similar to your request. Although this packaging does not meet all of your specifications, we can have it to you in time for your event. c. Because the MP3 player was immersed in water, we are unable to offer a refund. We will be happy to repair it for you.

9.3 Since the customer's mistake was related to the complexity of operating a computer, an issue that affects anyone who uses computers, the writer can find some common ground here: Thank you for contacting us regarding your phone bill. As a computer user myself, I certainly appreciate the challenge of getting a computer to operate properly. An opening such as this, which hints at the complexity of the task the customer was involved in, diplomatically deflects blame away from the customer but also makes it clear that the problem was not caused by the phone company. From this starting point, the letter could go on to explain that Internet dial-up calls consume system resources that other customers could have been using, so the only way to treat all customers fairly is to have each customer pay for the telephone time he or she incurs. Such an approach avoids undue attention to the customers mistake but also emphasizes that company resources were consumed during these dial-up calls, and its only fair that the person who consumed the resources should pay for them. 9.4 Students responses will depend on the news releases they choose to analyze. They should be able to analyze nearly any news release by breaking it down into paragraphs and sentences, then studying the wording of each element to deduce its intent. Theres an important difference between a carefully designed buffer and an introduction that just beats around the bush. So students should be careful to not to confuse a real buffer with a wordy, poorly written introduction to a direct message. 9.5 Although the company will want to buffer the negative news, readers should learn of the higher rates in the body of the message, not the close. Students may suggest using a single paragraph as a buffer and embedding the rate announcement in the second paragraph (not in parenthesis, but as part of a complex yet understandable sentence). This exercise presents an opportunity to discuss how communicators must be aware of the legal guidelines that apply to negative announcements about pricing regulated services such as health care insurance. Messages for Analysis (pp. 317-318)

MESSAGE 10.A
The letter suffers from overall vagueness. In addition, note the following communication barriers:

1. 2. 3. 4.

The tone of the letter is not professional or businesslike. The last sentence of the first paragraph insults the reader. The second paragraph does not specify what action the writer is requesting. The writer makes general complaints that have nothing to do with the request for adjustment. 5. Because the last paragraph is vague, it will require more time to rectify the problem. 6. The point of the message is almost entirely lost. * See Transparency 95 for an improved version of the letter. *See Transparency Masters 10-1 and 10-2 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter.

MESSAGE 10.B
This letter suffers from uneven organization, vagueness, and the following problems: 1. Some readers might be offended by the opening sentence. If cooperation is needed from the college administration, making an offensive statement is not the best way to begin. 2. The letter should use boxed information to present the short menu, or the menu should be enclosed with the letter as a separate sheet. 3. The cost of the six-month plan is never stated. So the reader may doubt that this will save money. 4. Inadequate information is given for the reader to feel comfortable signing up for the meal plan. 5. The letter ends on a clever note, but the slogan might be better if included in the letterhead rather than in the body of the letter. Testimonials from students who have tried the service would lend more credibility to the claims. * See Transparency 96 for an improved version of the memo. *See Transparency Masters 10-3 and 10-4 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions of this letter.

MESSAGE 10.C
This promotional podcast suffers from several flaws: 1. The speaker is arrogant and self-focused instead of being audience-focused. 2. He makes an impossibly broad claim about having the best people in the industry while offering no evidence to support this claim. 3. His third point about choosing a mortgage company isnt about choosing a mortgage company at all; instead, its essentially a complaint about disorganized customers. Exercises (p. 318)

10.1

a. The memo uses an effective subject line and introduces common ground: finding ways to cut annual plastic costs. b. The memo uses the indirect organizational approach. The main idea is not introduced until the numbered list at the end of the second paragraph. c. The subject line is relevant and effective because it deals with saving costs. d. The writer uses mostly logical appeals by including specific cost data as well as attaching a supplemental report. e. The audience will benefit by building the companys image while reducing costs. f. The writer establishes credibility by supporting his claims with facts, numbers, and preliminary research results. g. The writer reinforces his position by using semantics lets meet, by presenting a win-win situation (the consumers will be happy and the company will save money), and by providing specific and sufficient support for his recommendation. a. b. c. An Easy Way to Increase Productivity Imagine, a Meal That Everyone Likes! We Can Avoid a Vacation Problem

10.2

10.3

Using emotional appeals is not unethical unless you have distorted the truth or used words that can be misinterpreted. Your letter should include clear benefits and allow readers the freedom to choose. This exercise is a good chance to discuss how peer and company pressure can make people feel manipulated into contributing to a cause. a. Original sentence focuses on features. Revision to focus on benefits: Clean-up is easy because All-Cook skillets are coated with a durable, patented non-stick surface. b. Focuses on benefits. c. Original sentence focuses on features. Revision to focus on benefits: Your donation of $25 will provide each needy child with a backpack filled with school supplies. The FTC suggests that recipients throw away letters and offers that dont sound legitimate. Before recipients send money to an organization, the FTC suggests checking it out with the states Attorney General or Better Business Bureau.

10.4

10.5

Message for Analysis (p. 421) Comparing the two Dell reports, the Year in Review is targeted primarily to shareholders, the business media, and the general public (but it might also be reviewed by bankers and potential investors along with other materials). Besides the SEC, others interested in the Annual Report 10-K would be serious investors, bankers, or potential business partners. Students will probably agree that the report easiest and more interesting for them to read is the Year in Review, and they may attribute this to its graphics, arrangement of subject matter, and/or audience targeting. Theyll probably also agree that the Annual Report 10-K supplies more detail. Exercises (pp. 421423) 13.1 The exercise gives students a better understanding of the reporting requirements theyll face in their own careers. Encourage them to summarize interviews in detail, especially the questions asked in this exercise. You might suggest that students ask

additional questions about the preparation process: How long does it take? Who is involved? What are the steps in the process? 13.2 If students mention that they need more information to categorize these reports, suggest that they try to find specific examplesor they can simply use their imagination to make logical assumptions about the information each one would contain. Although reports will vary from student to student, the solutions described below are useful as a point of departure for class discussion: a. City crime report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized Management information system Routine, recurring on a five-year basis Internal (city statistics for city use) Informational Receptive readers

General purpose: To inform Medium: Formal, written report The statistical nature of the data for this report suggests that many tables and charts would be used. Although the report is chiefly informational, the author may analyze trends and draw conclusions about them. Specific recommendations would not be included in the report but could be suggested in a memo of transmittal. The report should be in manuscript format because it is long and formal and will be retained for future reference. The reports organization should be similar to that for previous fiveyear reports. b. Seed company report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Voluntary Proposal Special, nonrecurring External (farmers) Analytical Skeptical, indifferent

General purpose: To persuade Medium: Short, written report

The data on seeds would be statistical and could be shown in tables and charts that were supported by descriptive paragraphs. Exciting visual aids might be used to dramatize the superior performance of the seed. The conclusions and recommendations would be aimed at convincing farmers to buy the companys corn. The report would probably be in letter format because the company would want to make it brief and personal. The organization might be indirect, depending on the audience. c. Cold-remedy test report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized (at request of client) Final report Special, nonrecurring External (client) Analytical Receptive

General purpose: To inform or persuade (depending why the client authorized the report) Medium: Formal, written report Because the data on cold remedies would be largely statistical, they could be presented in tabular form and supported by descriptive paragraphs. The author would analyze the data and conclude that some remedies are better than others (in certain respects). A recommendation may or may not be given, depending on the specific purpose of the report. The report would be in manuscript format, because it is being prepared for an outside client and will serve as a lasting record of the work accomplished. d. Trip report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized Personal report Routine, recurring weekly Internal Analytical Receptive

General purpose: To inform Medium: Short, written report or short, oral report (if management prefers) The report would be written in memo format or on a preprinted form and would consist mainly of the salespersons comments and opinions. There may be some quantitative and factual data (date of call, person contacted, time spent, business booked or discussed), as well as some observations and comments from the salesperson (problems with account, opportunities, likelihood of order). On the basis of the sales trip, the salesperson would probably offer some conclusions and recommendations. e. Land development report Who: What: When: Authorized Research report Special, nonrecurring

Where: Internal (or could be external from a consultant to a client or from a developer to a zoning board or government agency) Why: Analytical How: Probably receptive General purpose: To persuade Medium: Formal, written report The data would be geographic and demographic characteristics of the area plus financial analyses of alternatives for converting the vacant land to industrial use. Conclusions would discuss the feasibility and advisability of the conversion and recommend specific steps for proceeding. The report could be in memo, letter, or manuscript form, depending on whether its internal or external, short or long. f. Annual report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized Compliance report Routine, recurring annually External (shareholders) Informational Receptive

General purpose: To inform Medium: Formal, written report Data about the operations of the company would include both descriptive material and financial statistics. The focus would be on information, but the writer may analyze trends and reach conclusions about the prospects for the business. No recommendations would be included. The report would be presented in a glossy magazine-like format with high-quality visual aids. g. Wildlife report Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized Management information system Routine, recurring (probably annually) Internal (management of agency) Analytical Receptive

General purpose: To inform Medium: Formal, written report Data would consist of descriptive material and statistics on the condor population. The report would analyze the growth or decline in the condor population and might recommend actions for preserving the birds and encouraging breeding. The report would be in standardized memo or manuscript format, depending on its length and distribution.

h.

Retail stores report Who: Authorized What: Feasibility report When: Special, nonrecurring (prior to closing the stores) Where: Internal Why: Analytical How: Probably Receptive (since audience members who oppose the change will hope the report illustrates great risk, whereas those in favor of it will hope the report shows little risk) General purpose: To persuade (that the risks outweigh the potential benefits or the potential benefits outweigh the risks) Medium: Formal, written report The audience would most likely be company executives. Data would consist of facts and figures related to sales and profits, and the author would need explain whether the data justifies closing the stores and moving the business online. If the data supported closing the stores, the report would also need to include information on how many employees would lose jobs and what the potential costs (financial and otherwise) would be. Finally, the report would need to provide a plan for upgrading current resources to handle the increased demand once the stores are closed.

13.3

The proposal given as a sample on the website includes in the appendixes a timeline, a key rsum, and a personal perspective. The writing hints suggest that the following items be relegated to the appendixes: a dissemination plan, letters of support, a timeline, descriptions of cooperating agencies, and an example of at least one project evaluation instrument (questionnaire, survey questions, interview guide, etc.). Students who read the writing tips will probably say that you should place material of secondary interest to readers in the appendices because you must assume that your audience will have limited reading time and may only read the body of the proposal. The appended material will be for readers whose interest you have secured and who are now ready for additional information. According to the writing tips, the best time to prepare a Project Overview (executive summary) is after youve written the entire proposal and have the best understanding of the material so that you can summarize it succinctly. The emergency procedures report might be tailored this way: Who: What: When: Where: Why: How: Authorized Emergency procedures Special (periodic update if necessary) Internal, downward Informational Receptive readers

13.4

The draft should be organized around a brief introduction, followed by descriptive headings or a series of procedural steps. It should feature clear instructions, with only as much detail as necessary to explain the procedures. The format should be simple, possibly with each step marked by a number or bullet, or a short paragraph under each heading.

13.5

Students may answer the questions as follows: a. Students will want to ask and answer questions that will help them focus on audience needs. First, theyll ask questions to define that audience. Then, since an unsolicited proposal must first convince readers that a problem exists, students will want to ask questions similar to those used when preparing an analytical report (to better define the problem). After that, students should begin asking questions such as how their lawn service can help this potential customer solve the problem. At this point, students can begin narrowing their focus to specific features and benefits. b. The benefits students describe should demonstrate their understanding of audience focus and the information theyve developed about their target audience. c. Letter format is the best choice because this communication is external. When reviewing students work, look for their ability to define the problem and break it into smaller components for analysis (if appropriate). To keep the exercise manageable, theyll eliminate extensive research, which they should be able to do either through team brainstorming (using questions described in the chapter for use with analytical reports) or through problem factoring (looking for cause-and-effect relationships). From there, students should be able to develop a solution to the problem and a list of facts to be used when describing the problem and proposing a workable solution. For the sake of this exercise, they can list facts that they imagine to be true (but which would need to be verified for a real-world proposal). Developing a statement of purpose for this report is a straightforward task. The shop owner has observed a sales decline for three consecutive months and wants to know why this is happening. However, this situation does involve two subtle points that should be considered in the statement of purpose: an investigator may not be able to identify precisely why sales have declined, and the decline might be caused by more than one factor. Therefore, a good statement of purpose will accommodate these difficulties to avoid making promises that cant be kept and avoid delivering less than expected. As an example: The purpose of this report is to identify potential reasons for The Style Shop's declining sales over the previous three months. Drafting the work plan will give students a chance to consider all the factors that go into report planning and research. Their draft plan should reflect thoughtful analysis of the difference between the problem statement and the statement of purpose and scope. Their plan should also suggest realistic results (conclusions about whether a lawn care service is advisable) and should propose achievable methods for data collection (observation, technical/chemical analysis, shopper surveys about the centers appearance, review of other shopping centers promotional material and lawn-care procedures). The outline can be brief, but should follow either the alphanumeric or decimal format as illustrated in the chapter. This exercise gives students practice in applying organizational approaches to various subjects, even though more than one approach could be used with each item: a. Since this is a recurring (monthly) report, the direct approach would probably be best. The audience is likely to expect the information to be delivered quickly and concisely. b. The indirect approach would be best in this situation. The accountant has probably still building credibility with the audience, and (since the report is written for management) using the direct approach would likely lead them to make up their minds against the major change before the report author can explain the reasons for the proposal. c. The direct approach would likely work best here, since it would be vital to

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quickly convince the audience that your services are superior to the system they currently use. d. The best organization strategy would depend on the CEOs preference, but using the direct approach could be risky. Presenting conclusions up front might lead the CEO to make important decisions (regarding personnel, operations, and so forth) without considering all the relevant information. e. Since the board recently rejected a proposal on the same issue, the direct approach would probably be best. If the author failed to explain right away how this proposal is different (and better) than the last one, the board is not likely to pay much attention. 13.11 As part of the class discussion, you might provide a few examples of your own or point out the recent trend toward making annual reports highly simplified, clever, eye-catching, easy-to-digest documents directed to an audience that apparently is not expected to spend much time reading the actual figures on company performance. Do the authors hope the flashy report will actually distract readers from the bottom-line figures? For online annual reports, students should evaluate them using the same criteria for evaluating a website. Can you navigate the report easily? Does it load fast? Are there links to the companys website? Another way some annual reports attempt to counterbalance dismal earnings figures is to capitalize on environmental concerns by producing annual reports on recycled materials and stressing the companys commitment to conservation. Other reports use state-of-the-art production equipment to create visibly enticing images that enhance the companys stature. A topical organization for the informational report might be outlined as follows: I. A. B. C. D. II. A. B. C. D. Availability of parking places Inadequate student spaces at critical hours Motorcycles taking up full spaces Spaces (usually empty) reserved for college officials Inadequate total space Security problems Inadequate attempts to keep resident neighbors from occupying spaces Discourteous security officers Vandalism to cars and a sense of personal danger Residents harassing students who park on the street in front of neighboring houses

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Parking fees A. Full fees charged to night students who use the lots during low-demand periods B. Relatively high parking fees Maintenance of lots A. Poor night lighting near computer center B. Dim marking lines

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Justification report to J. P. Lawrence a. The 2 + 2 = 4 approach would be a good choice for convincing a skeptical audience to accept conclusions and recommendations that are based on a number of reasons. b. To preserve a neutral tone in the report, restate the headings in a manner that does not telegraph conclusions. Although the following outline uses informative phrasing to guide the writing effort, the headings in the report itself would be worded more descriptively. c. A few conclusions that might be drawn from the information include the following: Consolidation makes financial sense: spending less to produce more The cost of consolidation is offset by income from the sale of the California plant Consolidation should ultimately increase profits d. Although the following outline uses informative phrasing to guide the writing effort, the headings of the report itself would be worded more descriptively. Topic: Consolidation of company operations Main idea: The company should consolidate its Georgia and California operations for several reasons.

I. Introduction II. Consolidation Reduces Labor Costs A. Improvement in Productivity and Wage Rates B. One-Time Plant Closing Cost of $250,000 III. Consolidation Reduces Taxes IV. Consolidation Increases Liquid Assets A. $1.65 Million Reported Profit from Sale of Land B. Negligible Impact from Sale of Plant and Equipment V. Conclusion (Consolidation

Message For Analysis (p. 445) Heres an improved version: MEMORANDUM To: Ken Estes, Northern Illinois Concrete From: Kris Beiersdorf, Memco Construction Date: April 18, 2008 Project: IDOT Letting Item #83 Contract No. 79371 DuPage County FEIN: 36-4478095 Memco Construction is pleased to submit the following road construction proposal for the above project. Our company has been providing quality materials and subcontracting services for highway reconstruction projects for over 23 years. Our most recent jobs in Illinois have included resurfacing Illinois State Route 60 and reconstructing Illinois Tollway 294. Based on the scope of the work outlined below, we project that the total cost of this job will run $99,283.00. Because material quantities can vary once a project gets underway, we are providing a unit price breakdown of our fees. Final charges will be based on the exact quantity of materials used for the job. Our Engineered Fill unit prices include all labor, material, equipment, and supervision to complete the job.

Engineered FillClass II and IV Description Mobilization* Engineered Fill Class II Engineered Fill Class IV Total Job Cost Unit Lump Sum Cubic Yards Cubic Yards Estimated Quantity 1 1,267 1,394 Unit Price $4,500.00 $ $ 33.00 38.00

Total
$ 4,500.00 $41,811.00 $52,972.00 $99,283.00

* Mobilization includes one move-in, additional move-ins to be billed at $1,100 each.

This cost estimate does not include bond, which is available at an additional 1 percent, or approximately $1,000. Further, our proposal assumes that the following items will be furnished by other contractors (at no cost to Memco): All forms, earthwork, and clearing All prep work, including geotechnical fabrics and geomembrane liners Water at project site Dewatering Traffic control setup, devices, maintenance, and flagmen Location for staging, stockpiling, and storing material and equipment at job site Please note that Memco Construction may withdraw this bid if within 10 days of your receipt of this proposal we do not receive written confirmation that we are the apparent low sub-bidder. Should you have any questions about this proposal, please contact me at the company proposal, please contact me at the company:

Telephone847-672-0344, direct extension #30 E-mailkbeiersdorf@memcocon.com. * See Transparencies 144 and 145 for a copy of this improved version. * See Transparency Masters 14-1 through 14-4 at the end of this chapter guide for poor and improved versions.

Exercises (pp. 445447) 14.1 Figure 14.2 (Yahoo! Statement on Internet Accessibility): By its very nature, this online report is a great example of the you attitude because it focuses on ways that Yahoo! works to accommodate and respect its customers. Students should be able to identify a number of you-oriented examples in which Yahoo! speaks to the concerns of its audience, provides simple and clear information, or avoids going overboard with selfpromotion. Figure 14.3 (Recommendation report): This report demonstrates the you attitude in several ways, including white space, lists, and headings that make the key points extremely easy to find and follow, transitions (such as First and Second) that help the reader stay oriented, and concise presentations of information that respect the reader's time. Figure 14.4 (Johnson Landscaping report): This report starts on a solid you footing in the first sentence. Another good example of the you orientation is the Special Issues section, in which the writer shows respect for the reader by being honest about problems and by immediately addressing concerns the reader is likely to have in response to negative news. Figure 14.5 (Personal activity report): The you attitude is evident throughout this report. It respects the readers time by conveying information in a table that is easy to read and understand, and it clearly distinguishes what has been done in July and what will be done in August. It also illustrates the inverted pyramid style by including links readers can click if they want more detail about any of the listed sites. Following are suggested placements, with a description of the type of information to explain the reasoning for the placement: a. Bodyfacts and statistical evidence b. Introductionhistorical background c. Bodyfacts and statistical evidence d. Bodyfacts, statistics, trends e. Introductionexplanation of methods f. Bodyfacts, statistics, trends g. Closing if using the indirect plan, body if using the direct plan recommendation h. Closingactions This exercise will help students see how they can use various elements to define a problem, explain reasons for it, explore options, and recommend a solution that will be viewed as credible. Evaluating the types of sources cited by the author will help them become sensitive to the issues of integrity and credibility. Theyll see how facts and statistics are used to support a recommendation, and they may see how articles address facts that dont support their conclusion or recommendations. You might want to discuss how citing the criteria used to evaluate options can affect audience reception of the authors recommendation. Possible solutions could include: a. Quarterly Financials Overview b. Contact Us c. News Release: Crenco Under SEC Investigation d. New iMac Now Available

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This exercise gives students a hands-on example of how headings, transitions, previews, and reviews guide readers through a lengthy report. Discussion might center on articles that did not accomplish this effectively. Why didnt they? What could their authors have done differently? In more successful articles, did students find any techniques that were repeated effectively (such as a similar form for reviews or previews used throughout the article)? When you are writing the report, the ethical move would be to mention your recent discovery about the faulty survey in the introduction (as you explain limitations factors beyond yourcontrol that affect your reports quality). Since the report is due in three days, youll probably want to go ahead and present your findings and recommendations but inform your readers of the discrepancy you found. In truth, a better-administered survey might come up with similar or identical results, so you have no reason to throw out your conclusions just yet, and youll want to mention this fact in the introduction as well. Depending on the circumstances of your report, you might also suggest follow-up research to counter the flawed survey with a second or revised report to be submitted before the company takes action. This exercise will give students practice in organizing, analyzing, and drawing conclusions from research. Students should use the information in the note cards to draw their own conclusions and make a recommendation. Recommendations will vary depending on how each student interprets the data. Main idea: Finding a special niche is the key to success for small competitors in the cosmetics business. Major points: See points A, B, and C of the following outline; supporting evidence includes second-level headings. Additional detail/evidence (although not required) is listed in lower case alphabet and in roman numerals. Note: Students will need this detail to draw conclusions. They should include these statistics and facts in their reports to make them more compelling.

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i. ii. iii. iv. b. i. ii. iii. iv. c. d.

A. DEMAND FOR COSMETICS HAS STABILIZED 1. Consumption of cosmetics relatively flat for past five years 2. Average annual expenditure per person for cosmetics is $58 3. Industry grew throughout the 1970s, 1980s, and early 1990sfueled by per capita consumption 4. Cosmetics industry is near maturity but some products vary a. Total market currently produces annual retail sales of $14.5 billion Cosmetics/lotions/fragrances: $5.635 billion Personal hygiene products: $4.375 billion Hair-care products: $3.435 billion Shaving products: $1.055 billion Cosmetics industry was considered recession-proof but statistics show pattern is shifting Past year, sales sluggish Consumer spending is down Most affected were mid- to high-priced brands Consumers traded down to less expensive lines First quarter of current year, demand is beginning to revive; trend expected to continue Demographic trends i. Gradual maturing of baby-boomer generation

ii. Population is increasing in the South and Southwest B. BIG PLAYERS DOMINATE 1. 700 companies in cosmetics industry 2. Industry dominated by market leaders 3. Competition is intensifying and thus putting great pressure on smaller cosmetic companies. 4. Prices are constant while promotion budgets are increasing. 5. How small companies survive a. Specialize in niches b. Differentiate product line c. Focus on market segment C. SPECIAL NICHES OFFER BEST POTENTIAL FOR NEW ENTRANTS 1. Avoid head-on competition with industry leaders 2. Promising Markets: a. Men i. 50 percent of adult population ii. Account for one-fifth of cosmetic sales iii. Market leaders have attempted this market but failed b. Senior citizens i. Large growing segment of population ii. Account for 6 percent of cosmetic sales iii. Specialized needs for hair and skin not being met iv. Interested in appearance c. Ethnic groups i. Some firms specialize in products for African Americans ii. Few firms oriented toward Hispanic, Asian, or Native Americans Message for Analysis (p. 485) The chapter made several recommendations for effective executive summaries: An executive summary should be a fully developed mini version of the report It may contain headings and even visual elements It is often organized in the same way as the report, although the sequence can differ from the rest of the report The length of the summary should be proportionate to the length of the report

Students should recognize the following attributes of this executive summary:

At two and a half pages, this executive summary could be considered rather short for a 130page report; however, it does present highlights of the report content. It contains several headings to assist the reader, although the subheadings could be better designed, both to differentiate parts from chapters and to make them both stand out from the body text. It is organized in the same part/chapter sequence as the main report. Exercises (pp. 485486)

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One possible revision is, The 376 employees who completed our online survey are primarily concerned about rising health insurance rates and elder care issues (including health insurance during retirement). If the Electrovision report is for information only, it will contain no recommendations and so will need a new title, such asElectrovisions Travel and Entertainment Costs. Most headings will need to be changed to reflect the informational nature of the report, and the section titled Methods for Reducing Travel and Entertainment Costs will be removed. Students may identify additional details that must be changed. The new transmittal memo should focus on key findings without making judgments or recommendations. Student versions of this letter will vary. In general, it should be upbeat, stressing the groups gratitude for the County Arts Council grant, and should mention that the grant allowed the Friends of the Library to support literacy and boost library usage through a diverse set of activities and acquisitions. The letter should touch on highlights of the report and build goodwill because the writer hopes the recipient will continue providing grants in future years. Students should recognize elements such as these: Purpose: To give parents entertaining and engaging activities to promote the joy of reading Title: The title clearly communicates the purpose of the report, and the subtitle provides clear clues to the content of the report Type of report: Informational Structure: Students can pick up the structure from the Contents page Visuals: The online version uses very few visuals, none of which add information value (PDF version contains no visuals) Online medium: Links make it easy to navigate to sections of interest To guide class discussion on this issue, youll want to draw your students toward professional behavior, even in the face of a potential ethical lapse on the part of the superior. Remind students that this situation may not actually be an instance of ideastealing at all. Perhaps they can brainstorm other possibilities; for example, given the number of active minds and informal communication channels in a typical organization, it may be possible that somebody else independently suggested the same idea to the vice president. Or ask students how they could determine more about the boss; that is, if she has not exhibited similar behavior in the past, then why jump to the conclusion that shes stealing credit now? Is she ignoring other communications or only this one? What about nonverbal signals (e.g., does the boss appear to be avoiding eye contact in the cafeteria, etc.)? Is this the only communication that has gone unanswered (e.g., maybe the boss is going through a personal or professional crisis and hasnt had time to respond to any messages)? If after thorough analysis of the situation, it turns out that the boss has indeed stolen the idea, encourage students to explore potential long-term results of the various options they might pursue, such as confronting the boss or going over the bosss head to complain to a superior. Here are some options that might help:

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If your company has someone in charge of career planning (often in the human resources department), discuss the problem with him or her and ask for advice. Document your work, making copies of all memos and reports that you send to your boss.

Let your boss know you want to move up. Ask for help developing your career. Tell your boss that you appreciate her or his receptivity to your ideas. Ask to be included in more meetings with upper managers. Seek opportunities to interact on a casual basis with upper management people.

Do not confront your boss with an angry accusation that he has stolen your ideas, and do not try to go over his head with a complaint to upper management. As the teams explain the rationale behind their solutions, you might get other teams to play devils advocate and challenge their assumptions. For example, if a team decides the boss should be confronted directly, ask members what they would do if the boss were to flat-out deny taking credit (even in the face of irrefutable evidence to the contrary). If a team suggests that the employee should simply forget the incident and let the boss take credit to preserve the status quo, ask members what kind of future that employee could expect in the company. Will the boss take advantage of every good idea? Will the employee become invisible at promotion time? And if a team decides to complain to the bosss superior, ask members how the employees working life will be once the boss learns of this action. If a team comes up with an innovative, unique, win-win solution, give the students bonus points.