E-mails from an Asshole

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Stubborn Shovel Seller

Posted at: 2012-08-29 06:27:13

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Original ad: Pole hedge trimmer for sale - Homelite electric hedge trimmer. Great condition. $50 OBO. Email me at russ*******@gmail.com.

What is this?
This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.

Now there's a book! With mostly never-before-seen material!

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Recent Posts
From Me to Russ *******: Hey Russ, That's a really nice shovel you have in the picture. Is it for sale? Mike From Russ ******* to Me: Sorry guy. Only selling the hedge trimmer. From Me to Russ *******: I'll give you $10 for the shovel. From Russ ******* to Me: Cant you read? The shovel isnt for sale. From Me to Russ *******: You drive a hard bargain on the shovel. I'll give you $15 for it, and that is my final offer. From Russ ******* to Me: Here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone! ======================================================== Later, from another email account... ========================================================
Follow On Twitter Stubborn Shovel Seller Glorious Master Translator Lost Special Skaters Comanche Quest Childhood Classics Rocked Incompetent Phone Repairman Clumsy Seller Spacious Studio Apartment My New Jogging Partner Rude Phone Salesman Dishwasher Confusion Football Sunday Angry TV Buyer Kitten Rescue The Car Crusher Fake Invoice Paying by Prayer Important Document Innovative Baby Products Hot Tub Repairman Garage Sale Competition Attention-Grabbing Ad Lenny's Acid Trip Suspicious Carpet Buyer Disguised Weapons A Little Help Tree Removal Barter Unreliable Pet Sitter

From Me to Russ *******: Hey I'm emailing you about the shovel. Your asking price of $10 sounds fair to me. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. I'll take it! From Russ ******* to Me: What are you on about? The shovel isn't for sale. From Me to Russ *******: Excuse me? That's not what your ad says.
Lijit Search

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E-mails from an Asshole

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=111

From Russ ******* to Me: My ad says nothing about the shovel. I'm selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel. Look again. Nowhere is a shovel mentioned. From Me to Russ *******: Quit dicking me around. This ad says you are selling the shovel!

I can assure you I am not Jewish so you can stop pretending you aren't selling the shovel. From Russ ******* to Me: Oh my god...I swear I didnt put that up. Somebody is messing with me! From Russ ******* to Me: Can you send me the link to that ad so I can have them take it down? From Me to Russ *******: Sorry, I can't find the link anymore. My wife needed to use the computer so I had to delete my browsing history because I was looking at porn earlier. It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if I'm not mistaken...so does this mean I can't buy your shovel? ======================================================== From another email account... ======================================================== From Me to Russ *******: Dear Anti-Semite douchebag, I got a bone to pick with you. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal. Until I read your disgusting comment about not selling the shovel to Jewish people. How the hell do you think that is acceptable in this day and age? What does it matter what religion someone is for you to sell them a shovel? This is absolutely despicable and an outrage to the Jewish community. You make me sick. Sincerely NOT buying your shovel of hatred, Mordecai Goldstein From Russ ******* to Me: I don't have a problem with jews at all! Someone else put that ad up to mess with me and I cant find where it is! Can you send me the link to the ad please?? From Me to Russ *******: Why don't you shovel your Nazi bullshit to someone else? This "Jew" isn't buying it!

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E-mails from an Asshole

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=111

======================================================== He finally decided to email my original account: ======================================================== From Russ ******* to Me: Look you little prick I know you put that fucking ad up and you need to take it the fuck down RIGHT NOW. I'm not selling the fucking shovel GET OVER IT and quit being immature you son of a bitch. From Me to Russ *******: I'm sorry, I thought I was doing you a favor. I wanted you to see how many great offers you could get if you decided to sell the shovel. From Russ ******* to Me: I'M NOT SELLING THE FUCKING SHOVEL LET IT GO! Tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there??? From Me to Russ *******: I detected some strong anti-Semitic undertones in our initial conversation...I just assumed you were an anti-Semite. My apologies. From Russ ******* to Me: TAKE THE AD DOWN ======================================================== I emailed him one last time, from another account. ======================================================== From Me to Russ *******: Good afternoon! I saw your ad for the shovel for sale. I'm more interested in the axe you have in that picture. Are you selling the axe? I'll give you $20 cash for it. - Dave

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sharter (2012-10-01 22:01:19) i want to say something offensive but im not inspired. i cant think of anything funny. i used to be a great troll but now im too depressed to even try. alpup (2012-09-30 09:48:50) Undertones! haha (2012-09-29 08:25:23) Mordecai Goldstein was just too funny! dan (2012-09-29 01:02:38) omg finally Piisawheel (2012-09-28 23:08:37) I'll give you 5 bucks for the hoe. Some Fake Name (2012-09-27 20:48:32) The book arrived. Totally worth it! I especially like the commentary at the end of e-mail exchanges. Oh and I'm gonna bitch-slap the next person who says "Update more!" Go outside and get off the computer! Or buy the book. Freer (2012-09-27 19:52:31) Delightful! anonymous (2012-09-27 15:35:13) Get some more on here. Rossi (2012-09-27 12:28:01) Priceless!! :-) Still crying, keep em coming! Mordecai Goldstein (2012-09-26 14:22:34) LOL Nigter03 (2012-09-26 14:18:57) aint that a b*tch

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E-mails from an Asshole

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=111

@ojuswagh (2012-09-25 20:28:00) absolutely hilarious. #1 troll (2012-09-25 16:52:08) Next time you respond to an ad, you should pretend to be the NFL looking for replacement refs Anonymous (2012-09-25 15:03:00) This site is now unblocked from my high school, fuck yes! Ben (2012-09-24 10:49:29) I check every day in hopes of a new post. Worth it, keep it up. Philip (2012-09-24 09:46:53) You are off for four fucking months and this is what you return with? I call bullshit. australianantichrist (2012-09-24 07:06:42) hahahahahahahahahahahahah one of the best thankyou Xz (2012-09-23 03:12:15) fuckin hilarious... post more frequently... Jane Smith (2012-09-23 01:05:31) Some of you need to realize that some people have lives away from the computer, so it's a little rude to just order someone to "update regularly." It's nice that you like the material, but not everybody has the time to cater to people who jack (2012-09-22 16:51:17) hahahahahaha!! cant stop laughing dom (2012-09-22 02:04:32) was good, but the vintage booze was the best out of them all, had a ton of people laughing so hard they where crying, including myself. anon (2012-09-22 00:16:00) Mordecai Goldstein.....ahahahahahaha I lost my shit there XD vincent (2012-09-21 22:15:19) Why there is a bunch of retards complaining that this not worth the wait shit.this guy do that on his spare time.More is better but dont fuckin complain like you paid for it Test (2012-09-21 20:55:32) Test noom (2012-09-21 19:35:48) I'm happy to see that there is a new one! but at the same time sad after reading it because I know that means we won't get another 6 months :(

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