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Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

Dear fans and friends, and those who deserve the truth

I have decided to share some letters that I wrote prior to Michaels death, and the last letter that I wrote to Michael that was given to him just before rehearsal the night before he passed. I choose to do this in support of the This Is Not It campaign, and because I believe Michael would have wanted us to speak his truth now that he is gone, in the same way he always asked us to do through all this years against the allegations, Mottolla-Sony, etc.

This is of course very sad and difficult and not something I ever expected to share so publicly, but now that Michael has passed I feel it is more important to inform and support the TRUTH against the blatant lies and attempted cover-up by those around Michael in his last months. I also feel the need to defend against those that are saying the followers are only speaking out after the fact now that Michael is gone. This is not true and we tried our best as far as we were capable only being fans. Everything that we are claiming and speaking is truth, and is based on words from MICHAEL HIMSELF, what we ACTUALLY WITNESSED in the months before he passed, along with what we also witnessed about Michaels friends and doctors over the past two decades of following Michael.

First, an email that I wrote on June 21st, four days before Michael passed. I sent this email to Karen Faye (Michaels makeup artist) and Michael Bush (Michaels tailor) who I knew to be around Michael almost daily in the weeks prior to his death and the only members of his entourage I considered trustworthy and true friends to Michael. I had met Michael, spoken with him, and witnessed his condition over 2 weeks time in Los Angeles at the end of May and beginning of June. I left Los Angeles with an uneasy feeling, particularly about Michaels obvious weight loss.

Subject Line: Please look after Michael-INTERVENE PLEASE-something is wrong, I saw it.

Karen, Michael... There is something that has been worrying me for several months now. I think there is something wrong with Michael and his health or his self-image about his weight and I am really worried.


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

I have been afraid to say anything to anyone because it's probably not really my place to talk about something so personal concerning Michael, and talking about it amongst fans can make you an outcast because it is regarded as criticising Michael. But I want to know if he is alright. I also want to know if he is not alright that someone is intervening and doing something about it. There are always new people around Michael and as has always been obvious they do not always have his best interest at heart because of their own interests, but I expect that you really care about Michael in a way that you would perhaps cross a line that others might not if you saw that he is somehow hurting himself.

It is painfully obvious that Michael is TOO THIN. I know that Michael's weight fluctuates, and he is often mostly too thin anyways, but NOW he is REALLY TOO THIN. I first noticed back in October that his weight was really plummeting. I spent a couple hours with Michael in his Bel Air suite at Halloween, and it really struck me how thin he was even back then. When we hugged I felt there was literally nothing to him. I told him to please take care of himself and stay healthy and that he looked good-I was trying to make a point that he doesn't need to lose more, that he looks good already, to stop now. Naturally this embarassed him and he mostly just smiled and said thank you without knowing what to say. I also wrote him a letter about it, which he read but only replied again saying thank you.

Michael told me back then that he was preparing a tour and so I thought perhaps it is normal for him to slim down in preparation. I expected that he would become very weight-conscious. But now it seems he has gone TOO FAR. I met him inside the dance rehearsal studio a couple weeks ago and I was honestly SHOCKED. I noticed how the bones of his shoulders were LITERALLY protruding, poking through the material of his black fitted top. He was SCARY SKINNY. When we hugged I felt his skeleton. I felt very worried and very sad for him.

He was also looking very down and stressed and his demeanor and voice were very frail. HE ACTUALLY SAID he was stressed and worried how he will be able to do all 50 shows, that he does not eat enough, and he does not have enough breaks between shows. Clearly the situation is too much for him, it is making him SICK...whether it is self-imposed because he is not eating or something else.


Karen do you see this? Do you say anything to him?


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

Michael do you see this when you go over wardrobe? Do you say anything to him?

PLEASE INTERVENE AND HELP. I really think he is to the point where something bad and regrettable could happen to him. I don't mean to suggest that you are responsible for him but AS A FRIEND AND ONE OF THE VERY FEW CONSISTENT PEOPLE around him that I think TRULY CARES about him, please risk saying something to him if you have not already.

Michael Amir, Alberto and Faheem have begun to restrict access to Michael and I'm now no longer allowed to even give a letter into his hands without them reading it first. They have many excuses that Michael is tired or in tour mode now or it's for his safety. This is ridiculous after 15 years of seeing Michael, I don't expect to be treated this way as if I would somehow harm him. I may be just a fan but I have been there for Michael for a really long time before them and will surely be here after them and Michael needs to hear from his fans when it is clear he is distressed, and those on the inside arent always worried for him but probably more concerned for their jobs should they say something deemed inappropriate. THEY MUST SEE that Michael is wasting down to nothing, but I don't trust that they say or do anything. And shutting his fans out during this time is not what he needs. I see how alone Michael is, and heard from him how heavy he feels under the pressure. He has his children, but they are his responsibility to look after not the other way around, and so beyond his children his close friends are very few and far between. Everyone else around him in this time is focused on This Is It. I have seen in the past couple years that no one has really been around for him in Las Vegas, then Bel Air, now Los Angeles, no one who really cares for him as a friend and not just as a business. Except of course the two of you.

If he is suffering from something serious, physically or mentally, regarding his weight or health, please intervene. Please let me know that he is alright. These concerts are not worth jeopardizing his life.

Im really in tears for him, for the state that I saw him in. If youve already said something to him, please give him this letter if you think he needs to hear it again from someone else. I'm sure whatever exactly is going on must be a fragile situation but please don't avoid it altogether. I'm so worried. Please tell me he is okay. Above that, please tell me the TRUTH.

I love him. Please help him if he needs it. I wish I could do something, I feel helpless.


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

Thank you for reading,


Michael had invited us inside his rehearsal studio where he spoke very candidly about his fears and feelings about the tour schedule, AEG, and Randy Phillips. He also said he was suffering back pain, and he was not eating, which was already obvious to us. He was nearly in tears as he spoke, and folded his hands in prayer during a moment of silence. We left this meeting feeling very disturbed and worried for Michael, and continued to witness him over the next couple weeks losing yet more weight and sometimes in a drug-induced state. The group of followers decided that we needed to take decisive action and reach Michael directly about our worries. Michael was deteriorating quickly and our shock and fears continued to grow every day, we couldnt rely on his entourage to care for his well-being, because they were clearly not, nor would they take our concerns seriously. We decided to write letters to Michael himself, each of us wrote a letter individually, but all had the same sentiment about our fears over Michaels condition, pleading for him to take better care of himself, to love himself, and put himself before the tour. The letters were given directly into Michaels hands outside his rehearsal studio the night before he passed away. Michael tried to phone Talitha (one of the fans who actually gave the letters and Michael knew very well) several times from the Staples Center, but the call kept dropping and we will never know what he wanted to say. Michaels personal assistant, Michael Amir, told me in Los Angeles when I went back for Michaels memorial that Michael asked for the letters upon returning home after rehearsal, and he took them to Michael in his bedroom. Michael would be gone in less than 8 hours.

So sadly, this is my last letter to Michael, written June 22nd and given to Michael night of June 24th. I share this for those who are attempting to blame those of us who actually tried to be heard. You are accusing the wrong people of doing nothing. Your attention should be turned towards AEG, Randy Phillips, Frank Dileo who claimed outright that everything was under control and Michael is not going to die.


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

Dearest Michael,

Im not exactly sure how to begin what I need to say to you, but please understand everything I say comes only from a place of overwhelming love and care for your happiness and health. I love you so very much; much much much more than I could ever hope to adequately express to you. In the past several months I have become very worried that you are not caring for yourself as you deserve to be cared for. I have noticed you becoming increasingly thin, and you are now so thin that Im really concerned about your well-being. I can only imagine the paralyzing degree of pressure you must be feeling lately in preparation for you concerts, and I can only assume your drastic weight loss is a symptom of the stress you feel so heavily upon you in these recent months.

Michael, I just pray that you know I will still love and adore and support you even if you were to never set your precious feet upon another stage. You have stood proud against more stress and pressures in your life than is fair for one person to ever endure, and you have always done it with grace, humility, honor. For this I have admired you, with your seemingly superhuman strength and incredible willpower to carry though the deepest and darkest of times. But dearest Michael, I know you are human and must often feel tired, lost or lonely, overwhelmed, tiny in the shadow of enormous obligations. I can only imagine you must be feeling the weight of the world upon your shoulders in these couple remaining weeks until your opening night. I am worried that your intense schedule and perhaps your own worries about pleasing your fans, and stunning the world again with your greatness, is causing you to forgo food and lose weight you can no longer afford to lose.

I hope and pray that your concerts are everything amazingly fantastic that you have dared to dream. I know you have been working incredibly hard, incredibly long hours and want nothing more for you to be happy with the fruits of your labor. However, I pray that you are not laboring so hard that you are neglecting your health and not eating as necessary to nourish your body, mind, and spirit during what is undoubtedly an immensely stressful time.

Michael, when I met you several months ago at Halloween I was taken aback at how thin you were. But you had told me you were beginning to prepare a tour, and so I assumed perhaps your slight frame was the result of preparation. At that time you spoke about the concerts with a sparkle of anticipation in your voice, a spirit of exuberance, a light in your eyes like I had not seen for years. I was happy that you were happy. But now seeing you again in Los Angeles these past several weeks I am concerned your spirit seems broken, and your weight has fallen


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

further. When I met you in the dance studio I was shocked at how thin you have become, when we hugged I felt there was not enough of you. If the concerts have become too much, too many, too stressful, please know you are not alone and you could never ever disappoint us should you feel it impossible to carry through. If the concerts are somehow jeopardizing your health, your health and well-being absolutely must come first. We could not enjoy a concert knowing you were suffering through it. Please do not feel obligated to us to perform beyond your desire, beyond your capability. This is not to say I doubt you for even a second, but Im only worried that your weight is drastically low and am afraid for your life as you are about to expend an incredible amount of energy over the coming months.

I hope I havent offended you in any way with any of these words. I love you so much and I only dare to say what I have out of care and concern. You have seemed somewhat sad, overly stressed, and super skinny recently and I just want you to know that you are loved and I am praying for your health and happiness. I hope that you are actually perfectly alright and my worries are simply paranoia from having seen you on days when perhaps you werent feeling your best. Michael Amir, Alberto, and Faheem have begun restricting access to you more severely in recent weeks so it has not been easy to ask how you are doing and give our love and prayers. Please forgive us if we have upset you but we are worried.

Im so looking forward to seeing you again in London. I love you and ask that you please take care of yourself - for yourself, your children, your fans, your family, and all those the world over who love you deeply and dearly from the very bottom of our hearts. We want to love you for many more years to come.

I Love You Always & Forever,


I am sure that he read it and now consider it my final goodbye to Michael.


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

It is with complete confidence that I say Michael did not trust or like AEG/Randy Phillips, but he felt enslaved financially to their demands because of their role in re-financing his life. We saw Randy Phillips at Michaels memorial and told him "we know the truth"...he denied that he ever went against Michael's wishes, but Michael told us the truth and naturally we believe Michael. We told Randy "you know that we know the truth"...he was visibly shocked and was without words. I hope he feels an immense amount of regret and guilt, along with anyone/everyone else involved in what I believe pushed Michael to an edge from which he eventually fell.

We have known for many years that Michael was sometimes taking prescription drugs, that he endured phases of addictions over the past decade. The followers have witnessed this many times over the years, we have seen and spoken with Michael in altered states, and we have often felt concerned for him. It was not something we ever chose to post on forums or share publicly as it was a private matter for Michael, and we always chose not to jeopardize his privacy. However, those that SUPPLIED, ENABLED, USED, and NEGLECTED him over these years, especially in his last months, should take responsibility for their part in his death. Michael needed help, and instead his friends chose to keep him happy and controlled rather than getting him the help he desperately needed. Michael was human like all of us, and like anyone dependent on drugs he needed help. He did not need criminal doctors and friends keeping him medicated so their own greed and profits could be realized.

We also now know many more details that have revealed themselves since Michaels passing and have given us full confidence in what we know and saw and corroborates our own testimonies. Some have been promised confidential, but it is our hope that the This Is Not It campaign will encourage others to speak the TRUTH they also know.

Edit: The photo attached to this note was taken on May 29, 2009, 3 weeks before Michael passed. It is very evident he is very underweight, and he continued to lose weight even after this picture. It is most evident in his face, jaw and neck. You will also see in the This Is It movie that Michael was almost aways wearing THREE shirts AND a jacket to conceal his small frame in his last weeks.


Sandy's testimony

Tuesday, 06 October 2009 16:23 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:47

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MJ &29, Sandy May 2009


MARIKA'S TESTIMONY "What I witnessed in June" Hello eve !one" I #now so$e o% !ou won't li#e what I have to sa!" &ut I need to tell $! e'(e ien)e so !ou )an all unde stand* So$e o% !ou $a! have hea d a&out an e$ail I sent on June +,st* It has &en (osted on %o u$s without $! )onsent" and (eo(le t ashed $e" sa!in- I was a lia " was loo#in- %o %a$e .//0 and $o e*** This is wh! I sent it1 On Ma )h ,2th" I $et MJ in his )a to-ethe with + othe % iends o% $ine* We tal#ed a&out AE3" how he was %u ious with the$" wantin- to $a#e $one!" sellin- ti)#ets vio 4ia-o-o* He said "I hate to hea sto ies li#e that5" Me and $! % iend saw a ve ! % ail Mi)hael* He had la -e o an-e (ants* 6ut as he was in the &a)# seat and us" sittin- in the % ont seat" he had his le-s &etween ou s* We )ould see what his le- was eall! loo#in- li#e* He was so s#inn!* Mi)hael )ouldn't sto( a(olo-i7in- %o the wa! he loo#ed1 "I'$ so ! !ou have to see $e li#e that" I$ so so !5" He was hidin- his %a)e in his hands when sa!in- this* An!wa!" we we e a little &it )on)e ned" &ut thou-ht1 O#" he has 8 $onths until the shows in 9ondon" so he $a! &e wo #in- with so$eone*** 8 $onths late " $e and $! % iend went &a)# to :a olwood" and we witnessed Mi)hael &einunde in%luen)es* 6ut what was wei d is that it was A;TER ehea sals" and not onl! a%te < Klein's visit* So whateve the! we e -ivin- to hi$" he was -iven .o too# hi$sel%0 at the ehea sals* That ni-ht" Mi)hael had $e$o ! loss* He was )o$(letel! hi-h" as i% he was tal#in- in his slee(* I% WE SAW that" don't tell $e (eo(le a ound hi$" tal#in- to hi$ ,= hou s a da! )ouldn't see it* ;ew da!s late " Mi)hael invited $e and $! % iend on the set o% the <o$e ( o>e)t* M! % iend had $ade a >a)#et %o hi$*

He was wea in- a Red 6ala$in >a)#et" !ou )an see it in the t aile * M! % iend -ave hi$ he >a)#et and Mi)hael too# it to t ! it* He too# o%% his own >a)#et* he was wea in- white ti-ht (ants and a white ti-ht shi t* ;o the %i st ti$e" we eali7ed how $u)h wei-ht he did loose* I )ouldn?t have wea his >a)#et* He eall! was s#inn!* And NOT THIN* The >a)#et was o% )ou se too &i- %o hi$* 6ut he was ha((! and said1 Oh how do !ou #now $! si7e/5 Well*** ta#e a wo$an si7e and it %its* He #e(t it* You saw a (i)tu e o% hi$ wea in- it* <ated June ,,th* O% )ou se" !ou )an't eall! tell &! the (i)tu e** 6ut he )ould )lose this >a)#et &ehind his &a)# lite all!* this is wh! $e and $! % iend sent this e$ail on June +,st* To sha e ou )on)e ns on his health* I a$ not sa!in- Mi)hael was d!in- % o$ a disease* I a$ not sa!in- Mi)hael was #illed I a$ not sa!in- I Know the T uth I a$ >ust sa!in- that WE" %ans" %elt that MJ )ould &e in dan-e * I a$ >ust sa!in- that WE" %ans" saw how $u)h wei-ht Mi)hael lost* I a$ >ust sa!in- that WE" %ans" )ould see he was unde in%luen)es* I a$ >ust sa!in- that MI:HAE9 told the %ans he was unde a lot o% ( essu e" )ouldn't eat o slee(* I a$ now >ust as#in- wh! the!" MJ's ENTO@RA3E" #ee( sa!in- that Mi)hael was in - eat sha(e" when an!one else" not wo #in- %o hi$" )ould see he was not/ I a$ >ust as#in- wh!" >ust toda! .+ da!s a%te this (a-e is online0" A ARESS RE9EASE lea#ed Mi)hael's auto(s! sa!in- his wei-ht was ,8Bl&s .even i% this is not a lot0" with the title "Mi)hael Ja)#son was health!" lin#in- eve !whe e suddenl!* the auto(s! e(o ts we e not su((osed to )o$e out &e%o e the end o% the investi-ation* So$eone is -ettin- s)a ed/ I a$ not sa!in- Mi)hael was #illed I a$ not sa!in- Mi)hael was si)#* I a$ >ust sa!in- to so$e (eo(le1 STOA 9YIN3 TO @S STOA TAKIN3 @S ;OR ;OO9S We saw in what sha(e Mi)hael was He told us he was NOT %eelin- -ood* Sto( l!in-* We al ead! lost hi$* Have the -uts to ad$it the t uth and sa!1 Yes" $a!&e Mi)hael needed hel( we didn?t ( ovide hi$* We should have (ut $o e & ea#s &etween the shows" >ust to $a#e hi$ %eel less ne vous* We a e not sa!in- those (eo(le #illed hi$* 6ut &! listenin- to so$eone's ( o&le$ and an'iet!" the! )ould have $a#e hi$ %eel $o e ela'" he

)ould have eat" slee( well and wouldn?t have as#ed %o A o(o%ol* The e%o e" he would still &e he e* Than# !ou*

MJ with $! % iend >a)#et The <o$e A o>e)t C :ulve Studio June ,,th +==2 This is the e$ail I sent to MJ %ans and Mi)hael's entou a-e i% !ou want to ead it1 Ma i#a A o)het +, >uin" D ,E1+, "<ea )losest MJ %ans" This is an i$(o tant $essa-e* So$e o% !ou a e -oin- to hate it* Othe s will sta t thin#in-* As !ou $a! #now" %ew da!s a-o" $e and Moon -ot the lu)# to &e invited on the set o% Mi)hael's shootin-* Mi)hael was wea in- white (ants* Real ti-hts* And a white shi t* Real ti-ht* As !ou all #now" Mi)hael has &een eall! s#inn! sin)e the t ial* We all tal# to-ethe and we alwa!s sa!1 he is s)a ! s#inn!* so$e o% us told hi$ he should eat* 6ut what Moon and I saw last wee# ho i%ied us* He is not s)a ! s#inn!* He is a s#eleton* I saw his &a)#" and wanted to th ow u(* I neve %elt a sho)# li#e this* And I al ead! #new he was s#inn!* 6ut these )lothes*** it was as i% he was na#ed* I was asha$ed* I -ot out o% the set* And what did I told the %ans/ "Oh -od he is so s#inn!5" And then" what did I sa!/ "Oh it was - eat5 !eahhh5 I saw Mi)hael on the set5 !eah555" I had the sa$e ea)tion I had sin)e the t ial* He is now $o e than s#inn!* He is a s#eleton* 6ut I )an do nothin- so let's tal# a&out so$ethin- else5 A&out how ha((! I was to $eet hi$* 6ut to &e honest" I" sin)e this da!" %eel wei d* 9i#e a -uilt! sensation* I %eel that I witnessed ealit!* ;o on)e" he didn?t had a )oat on" a &i- shi t" &i- t ouse s* ;o on)e" I saw the ealit! o% his situation* I %eel li#e I al ead! #new &ut didn?t want to a))e(t it* Honestl!" I thin# I was li#e eve ! one o% !ou* We a e wo ied %o E $inutes &ut then" the onl! thin- we )an thin# a&out is1 I want to see Mi)hael" I want to -et a hu-" I want to sa! I love !ou*** I thin# a&out $!sel% and $! ha((iness* 6ut I sta ted to wonde 1 Mi)hael ehea se eve ! da!" he is su ounded &! +== (eo(le that wo # with hi$ eve ! da!* 6ut who a e those (eo(le/ <an)e s that a e livin- thei d ea$" Kenn! O te-a who is ( odu)in- his &est show eve " te)hni)ians" Mi)hael se)u it!" Mi)hael 6ush** And Ka en ;a!e*

No %a$il!" no % iends" no one* Ka en is the onl! one to have love %o Mi)hael* So I $ailed he * I wanted to #now i% (eo(le we e &lind o doin- nothin-/ He e is he answe 1 "Hi Ma i#a" I #now* I a$ doin- eve !thin- hu$anl! (ossi&le***!ou hea t and $ine a e in the sa$e (la)e* Alease #ee( this ( ivate %o his sa#e* 9ove" Ka en Shanti" Shanti" Shanti" When I ead that" I eali7ed I was i-ht* She is doin- so$ethin-* 6ut what )an she do/ As we all #now" Mi)hael listen to no one* He does whateve he wants* And i% !ou #now a little &it a&out ano e'ia" !ou #now that i% !ou tell the$ to eat" it's )o$(letel! useless* So Ka en $a! tell hi$ to eat* He won't* Aeo(le in his situation need a sho)# to sta t doin- so$ethin-* So he e is $! Fuestion to all o% !ou1 We all love Mi)hael eall! $u)h* We all want to see his shows* We all thin# a&out how we will &e %i st ow* A&out how we will -et $o e ti)#ets* A&out how we will $eet hi$ $o e than the othe s %ans* A&out -ettin- a (i)tu e with hi$* A&out not hu tin- hi$* How will !ou do all o% these thin-s i% du inthe thi d )on)e t he %aints on sta-e" and i% his hea t sto(s du in- his wa! to the hos(ital/ How will !ou %eel when !ou will tal# with othe s %ans and will sa!1 We #new he was too s#inn! to (e %o $ E= shows/ We #new he sto((ed eatin- du in- the t ial and ehea sals ,= hou s (e da! %o us* How will !ou %eel when !ou will sa!1 (eo(le

said he was doin- %ine &ut the! lied/ We saw he was a s#eleton* Will !ou %eel -uilt!/ Will !ou &e a&le to slee( at ni-ht thin#in- !ou #new it and did nothin-/ So$e o% !ou a e -oin- to sa!1 "He has do)to s with hi$" "The! wouldn?t let hi$ dan)e i% he was not health!" "I don't want to do so$ethin-" it would hu t hi$" Well let $e tell !ou this1 I% he had do)to s with hi$" he would have -ained wei-ht* No one saw 9ou ;e i-no so$ewhe e a ound ehea sals o Mi)hael's house* On the set" I wat)hed (eo(le a ound Mi)hael* Eve !one was avoidin- Mi)hael" loo#inso$ewhe e else* The! we e all wo #in- on thei video* Too $u)h $one! involved* You don?t want to &e %i ed &e)ause !ou told Mi)hael Ja)#son to eat* You all #now Mi)hael's e$(lo!ees will neve ta#e the is# to lose thei >o&* The! don?t love Mi)hael this $u)h* And %o those who have &een to :a olwood" !ou all #now that Mi)hael is )o$(letel! alone the e* I% !ou -et this e$ail" it $eans !ou a e (a t o% the MJ's %ans who #now that Mi)hael is not Aete Aan" Mi)hael is not ,==G (e %e)t" and that at this da!" We a e the onl! ones le%t who love Mi)hael enou-h to t ! to $a#e a di%%e en)e* We all saw Mi)hael at his wo st" and we all see hi$ still alive* 6ut >ust thin# E $inutes that this s#eleton that Mi)hael has &e)o$e is -oin- to (e %o $ + hou s eve ! ni-ht du in- 8 $onths* Will he &e a&le to do it/ Models die at ,H % o$ ano e'ia &e)ause thei hea t sto(* And the! >ust wal# on a )atwal#* Mi)hael is E,* He dan)es ,= hou s (e da!* And is -oin- to dan)e + hou s eve ! ni-ht du in- 8 $onths* <o !ou thin# he will &e o#/ Now that !ou #now" a e !ou -oin- to do so$ethin- o a e !ou -oin- to %i-ht with othe %ans to -et the &est $eetin- with hi$/ Alease" let's thin# a&out the &est solution to hel( hi$ eali7e* He needs to &e sho)#ed &! us* We need to $a#e hi$ ea)t* And un%o tunalt!" we $a! have to hu t his %eelin-s so$ehow* 6ut i% he sta!s alive" isnt it wo th it/ Ma i#a"

Reaching out
On Sunday 21 June, I was one of several people to receive an email from a fan in Europe, who said she had contacted a trusted associate and friend of Michaels that was involved in the tour over concerns for his health. The associate had responded confirming that Michael wasnt well she didnt specify what was wrong with him and assuring her that she was doing everything in her power to help him. I replied to everyone on the e-mail list all follower fans who Michael knew and recognized - suggesting that we all reach out to him together by writing letters expressing our concerns. I asked everyone to include a photograph of themselves so our words would be accompanied by familiar and loving faces.

Within the next few hours, I received letters from all over the world, all (at least those I read on the request of the sender) expressing deep love and concern for him, asking him not to be pressured into doing anything that he didnt want to do and to put his health first.

A sense of dread Michael was due to leave for London in a matter of days for the opening concert of the This Is It tour on 13 July. We knew we had to get our letters to him at the first opportunity. The fans in LA elected my friend Jill and I to be the ones to hand them to him. We were nervous of course. We still didnt have very much to go on, just the word of someone we didnt know personally that he wasnt well. What if we were wrong and we came across as paranoid or intrusive? But the possible outcome if we did nothing was so much worse. If we acted, the worst that could happen was that we would lose some of his trust and respect, which we valued so highly. If we didnt act, the worst that could happen was that he would be pushed to the point of collapse and end up in hospital. We couldnt risk that. Maybe by reaching out now, we could prevent anything bad from happening by reassuring him that if he cancelled some or all of the concerts, he would NOT be letting down his most devoted fans because as much as we all love to see him perform, we care a million times more about his health, well-being, and happiness than we do about any tour.

"I would die inside" Our decision to take action was based not only on the information we had received and our own observations but also on an intuitive feeling, a sense of dread that many of us shared. Here is an extract from my last letter to Michael:

Wont you let us help you shoulder that burden now, like we have so many times in the past? Wont you listen to our concerns and finally understand that we love YOU Michael and not merely the artist, the performer. We love your soul, your light, your heart and we would die if you left us. I know I would. I would die inside. It was weeks later when I read these words again and realized that deep inside, in a place beyond knowing, I must have had some sense what was coming. Maybe we all did. The first chance Jill and I had to give Michael the letters came on Wednesday, 24 June 2009.

last night
On Wednesday 24 June the entrance to Michaels home was crowded with onlookers and autograph hunters. Jill and I knew we would have no chance to speak with him there. So we devised a plan. The previous evening he had gone to the Staples Center to rehearse there for the first time having finished up at The Forum the previous week. We decided to act on the assumption that he would go there again, at approximately the same time. We drove to the Staples Center and went to the entrance. Two security guards from the Staples were standing

by and on Jills (brilliant) suggestion, we told them we were there to greet Michael as he arrived and had letters to give him, but assured them that we wouldnt approach him unless he called us over. This seemed to satisfy them and they allowed us to wait with them. Our friends called us as soon as Michael left the house and kept us updated every step of the way. Normally when he arrived, everyone would jump out to see him. But that night they stayed away, to give Jill and I a chance to speak with him alone. As much as they wanted to see him - as we all did all the time their love for him is pure and selfless. Because of their enormous sacrifice, we all got to reach out to Michael collectively one last time.

Glowing in the sunlight At 6.50pm, Jill and I saw Michaels car turn onto Chick Hearn Court and drive towards us. We waved and I held up the letters, which we had put in a clear plastic bag. Michael leaned forward between the two front seats and the sun lit up his face, making him glow. The cars turned into the entrance and then rolled to a stop. One of the main security guards, Faheem, was driving and waved us over. We leaned in the front window and saw Michael sitting at the back with his personal assistant, Michael Amir, beside him. I put the letters directly into Michaels hands and told him that they were from fans all over the world and that it was REALLY important that he read them. I repeated this several times as he turned them over, and he assured us that he would. I then asked that we be given 30 seconds to read him a statement one we had prepared for Jill to read that basically summed up the same

concerns expressed in our letters. Michael agreed but Amir intervened and said we could do it on the phone instead. Jill handed Michael a photo she had taken, one of many shed shared with him and that he always loved. As the car dipped into the garage, my phone rang. But when I picked it up, all I could hear was static. This happened several times, much to our frustration. Still, we felt elated that we had at least succeeded in handing over the letters on behalf of ourselves and all the other loving fans anxiously awaiting news from LA. It was a huge weight off our shoulders. We had all agreed to wait for a response from Michael before taking any further action. If he said he was fine and happy with the tour, we would leave it at that - and continue to support him and believe in him, as we always had. If he said he wasnt happy and needed help, we would do whatever we could to make things right, including contacting family and friends if necessary and asking them to intervene. We would never do this without Michael's approval. We respect his privacy first and foresome and answer only to him.

In the arms of an angel At one point Jill and I were strolling around the Staples with a friend when we came to a window that gave us a direct view onto the stage. Michael was there performing Dangerous and wearing a shirt that one of our friends a lovely girl from NYC - had given him that said Curls for my girls, a reference to his recently curled hair. We couldnt believe our eyes. We had heard songs from the tour, first at CenterStaging and then at the Forum, but none of us had seen him perform. He appeared to be walking through the routine rather than giving it his all but it was still AMAZING. At the end of the performance, an angel appeared, wrapped a pair of golden wings around him and carried him down through the stage. When Michael left the Staples Center, at around 12.30 am, he rolled his window down all the way and leaned out, wearing a HUGE smile. And when he returned to his house, we lined up on each side of the entrance as usual to greet him. He cracked the window just a few inches and stuck out his hand. I squeezed his fingers as his car rolled by and slipped him a note, reminding him of the statement. Then we all waved him goodnight.

When Amir left a short while later, I asked him what had happened with the phone call. He told me the reception at the Staples was poor, then added that Michael had asked him to remind him to call me the next morning. I woke up on 25 June awaiting Michael's call.

The end of the world

No more wondering if hell call tonight. No more waiting for him to say my name, wrapping his silky voice around each syllable, making my heart sing. No more melting in his arms as he whispers sweetness in my ear. No more tiaras and glittery love hearts. No more him. No more me. Just an ocean of pain and an eternity of sorrow. For as blessed as I was is as cursed as I am. Come back to me my angel, my love, my king. Talitha, July 2009
Taken from Talithas website http://www.michaeljacksonthelastangel.com/michael-jackson-lastdays.html Her twitter https://twitter.com/talithafluttrby

Talin's testimony

Sunday, 11 October 2009 16:31 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:48

Dear fans,

I live in LA and was consistently around Michael during his stay here in the last 8 months of his life. On days that I was not present, other followers were always around, so please take our testimonies seriously since collectively we saw Michael everyday and collectively our concerns were the same. In my opinion, there are only two theories about Michaels death:

1) Michael was being controlled, under pressure, being overworked, and his needs were being neglected. In addition to this, he was intentionally murdered and those responsible for this are more than just Dr. Murray.

2) Michael was being controlled, under pressure, being overworked, and his needs were being neglected. He was accidentally murdered by Dr. Murray.

The first part of both theories is FACT and while others may convince themselves that he was fine, I cannot lie to myself and ignore what I personally experienced in the last weeks of his life. Its very clear that Michael initially decided on these shows for financial reasons, though once the concerts were announced I noticed him excited about the whole record breaking project. In the first couple of months of rehearsals he seemed happy with things, asked us if we were surprised by the press conference and would ask us about songs we wanted to hear. But in the last 3 or 4 weeks things gradually turned downhill, the excitement was not always there, and after a while we finally realized something was wrong.

Here are my FACTS:

On May 29th, the last day of rehearsals at Center Staging, a few of us went inside the studio and talked to Michael. It was actually he who wanted to talk to us. He first apologized about the seating arrangements for the concerts then expressed the seating and the dates were done without my consent. He said he was doing these shows for us and wanted to do it the way we wanted him to. He seemed unhappy about the way things were going and at some point his


Talin's testimony

Sunday, 11 October 2009 16:31 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:48

voice cracked like he was going to cry. He said that hes only one person and only has so much energy Later that night we met him at a different location where we took pictures with him. Michael was half sitting inside the car and I was kind of leaning on him. I put my hand on his leg to push myself up and all I felt was bone. No, not like he was just skinny, more like he was nothing but a skeleton. It REALLY alarmed me and thats when I first thought something was wrong. My personal letters to him from then on voiced concerns, not telling him anything specific but just asking him to think of his health and happiness first. Prior to this I had wondered when he would start putting weight on like he had during previous tours, but since he usually wore layers of oversized clothes, it was hard to tell just how think he was. Still with these facts to worry about, this is when his hair went curly, preparations were moving along and the concert hype was peaking. So I thought well, maybe Im overreacting. He has a month, maybe things will get sorted out. And his first rehearsal at the Forum the following week was promising since we heard him singing so I thought it could all be coming together. I was still concerned but not worried that he was in danger.

June 12th is when Michaels security started to act weird and started keeping us away from him by taking extreme measures. Their actions were absolutely unnecessary considering the fact


Talin's testimony

Sunday, 11 October 2009 16:31 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:48

that at any given time there were no more than 10 or 12 of us there and these were people that he knew and trusted as did his security. In the next couple of weeks so many reasons for this ran through my head. 1) As the guards kept saying, he was in concert mode and was probably trying to build up the hysteria. 2) He was groggy and didnt want us to see and notice. 3) Concert promoters had found out that he was confiding in us and complaining to us and somehow this was being leaked to the press and they instructed the guards to make sure we have no contact with him. 4) Maybe he just didnt want to be bothered and had started to feel unsafe (possible, but strange given the timing and other factors). Michael frequently visited Dr. Kleins office and at times came out of there groggy.

I always wondered why he was going there but never did I feel I had the right to ask. I assumed it was some kind of skin treatment but it bothered me that he was in there for hours (sometimes as long as 5 hours) and it bothered me that he was being put under. Never did I suspect he was going there to sleep and again, I did not feel like it was my place to ask nor would I have gotten any kind of an answer from anyone.

June 16th was the last time I saw him outside Dr. Kleins office (even though I believe he went there once more before his death).

Among all the fans that were around him that day, we came to the conclusion that he was groggy when he first left the house and he was groggy when he left Dr. Kleins office. He then went home for a while before going to rehearsal and he was groggy again after rehearsal. That night, 6 of us gathered with different scenarios. This is when we thought something was seriously wrong. We thought that maybe Michael was being drugged against his will to continue with rehearsals and not object. We thought he was being controlled by either AEG or the NOI or both. We started to make accusations about his staff and others involved with the shows and tried to think of what we could do. We knew of someone that was inside the forum but not involved with the concerts. I suggested we ask that person inside how Michael was doing when on stage and one of my friend said Michael hasnt been on stage for the past 3 rehearsals (the past 3 rehearsals being June 11th, 12th, and 16th). The next day I asked Alberto, the head security, how Michael was doing with rehearsals and if he was happy and healthy. Albertos response was extremely positive. Of course he was lying since Michael hadnt been on stage recently so he couldnt have been doing great. Yes, maybe there were days when he was not needed on stage but not this close to opening night and not for 3 consecutive rehearsals.


Talin's testimony

Sunday, 11 October 2009 16:31 - Last Updated Friday, 29 October 2010 18:48

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