The Human Program In The Midst Of Time

by Khodor Khalil Saad A book written is your ambassador to all countries

All rights to print & publicize by all means are reserved for the author Khodor Khalil Saad. Reproducing, printing, or plagiarizing by any means without the authors consent will be prosecuted.
E-mail: khodorthinker_ww@hotmail.com

Index:
Unit 1: Human Beings
1- Orientation towards objects 2- Childhood 3- Growth 4- Surroundings ( work & finance ) 5- Marriage is the foundation of starting a family 6- Philosophy between home & surroundings 7- Facing the complex of a complicated life 8- Aging, is it time to relax ? Or to grow wiser?

Conclusion of Unit 1 Unit 2:

1- Introduction 2- Mentality & thought 3- Emotion 4- Self & energy

Conclusion of Unit 2 Unit 3:

1- Introduction 2- Poems of praise to the prophet Mohammad

Conclusion of Unit 3
The Authors perspective

Unit 4:
1- Introduction 2- Ramadan related poems

Conclusion of Unit 4

Unit 5:
1- Introduction 2- Mother related poems

Conclusion of Unit 5 Unit 6:

1- Introduction 2- Modesty is the key to wisdom

Conclusion of Unit 6 Unit 7:

1- Introduction 2- The doors of wisdom

Conclusion of Unit 7 Unit 8:

1- Introduction 2- Lights

Conclusion of Unit 8 Unit 9:

Love in God

Unit 10:
Thought & creativity

Unit 11:
From the celebrities nest

Unit 12:
Killer ambition

Unit 13:
The feast of self joy

Unit 14:
Distant love

Autobiography:
This book was written in 2011 by a young faithful man Khodor Khalil Saad who was born in a Lebanese village Maghyara Eklim Al 5arob born in 1989 . He attained a Bachelors certificate in Life Science with a good estimate & a certificate in computer maintenance & general accounting from the Torch institute which has a branch in Saida & also a certificate in French organization of level B from the Center of French Culture located in Saida as well. He is currently studying medicine; he is multilingual knowing Arabic which is his native tongue, English, French, Italian, & Spanish. His hobbies are traveling, tourism, playing the oud, chess, reading, & scientific & philosophical theorizing.

The Purpose of Writing This Book:

I wrote this to translate my thoughts & ambitions in the form philosophical templates in a time where every thinking being should leave his mark out of 6 billion others. All of us have something special that we can translate in the form of art & possibly work in.

Unit 1
Introduction: The human being is a social, sane & unique creature; it is in his nature to be oriented to search for something such as work or thoughts.

Problematic: Why do humans fail to nourish their talent in the form of knowledge, science, will & management rather than nourishing it with mysterious chaos? Why do humans walk randomly until they grow into teenagers without drawing any diagram with a purpose for? So that it drifts with the wind & time thus it goes with the flow or it gets lost in the draft. Childhood: Is a phase that starts from the moment of birth till the age of 11, during this sensitive phase a child starts to gain the capability of differentiating & through this he starts to develop his social personality. Proper parenting of a childhood during the early phases reduces the severity of teenage issues & vice versa. The teenage phase is considered one of the most dangerous phases that humans go through out of the different outbursts which are characterized by constant renewal & promotion in the continuous search for noble human perfection. It is possible that the same dangers & conflicts that a human being faces during the teenage years are a main reason for the different phases of physical, psychological, mental, social, & religious development. The Concept Of Adolescence & Puberty : Its very simple yet essential, during this phase a human starts to develop new feelings & discovers his basic primal animalistic sexual instincts, other than that a human starts to ask questions, the quest for knowledge begins, & he starts to draw out future plans for instinct he starts to question the most simple question that everybody has thought of What is the purpose of life ? thus a new journey begins & a person who only used to think of simple things begins to broaden his mental, psychological & sexual wishes. From a more professional approach Adolescence is a transitional stage of physical and psychological human development generally occurring between puberty and legal adulthood (age of majority). The period of adolescence is most closely associated with the teenage years, although its physical, psychological and cultural expressions can begin earlier and end later. For example, although puberty has been historically associated with the onset of adolescent development,

it now typically begins prior to the teenage years and there have been a normative shift of it occurring in preadolescence, particularly in females. Physical growth, as distinct from puberty (particularly in males), and cognitive development generally seen in adolescence, can also extend into the early twenties. Thus chronological age provides only a rough marker of adolescence, and scholars have found it difficult to agree upon a precise definition of adolescence. A thorough understanding of adolescence in society depends on information from various perspectives, most importantly from the areas of psychology, biology, history, sociology, education, and anthropology. Within all of these perspectives, adolescence is viewed as a transitional period between childhood and adulthood whose cultural purpose is the preparation of children for adult roles.The end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood varies by country and by function, and furthermore even within a single nation state or culture there can be different ages at which an individual is considered to be (chronologically and legally) mature enough to be entrusted by society with certain tasks. Such milestones include, but are not limited to, driving a vehicle, having legal sexual relations, serving in the armed forces or on a jury, purchasing and drinking alcohol, voting, entering into contracts, completing certain levels of education, and marriage. Adolescence is usually accompanied by an increased independence allowed by the parents or legal guardians and less supervision as compared to preadolescence. In popular culture, many adolescent characteristics are attributed to physical changes and raging hormones. There is little evidence that this is the case, however. In studying adolescent development, adolescence can be defined biologically, as the physical transition marked by the onset of puberty and the termination of physical growth; cognitively, as changes in the ability to think abstractly and multi-dimensionally; or socially, as a period of preparation for adult roles. Major pubertal and biological changes include changes to the sex organs, height, weight, and muscle mass, as well as major changes in brain structure and organization. Cognitive advances encompass both increases in knowledge and in the ability to think abstractly and to reason more effectively. The study of adolescent development often involves interdisciplinary collaborations. For example, researchers in neuroscience or bio-behavioral health might focus on pubertal changes in brain structure and its effects on cognition or social relations. Sociologists interested in adolescence might focus on the acquisition of social roles (e.g., worker or romantic partner) and how this varies across cultures or social conditions.

Developmental psychologists might focus on changes in relations with parents and peers as a function of school structure and pubertal status. Puberty is a period of several years in which rapid physical growth and psychological changes occur, culminating in sexual maturity. The average onset of puberty is at 10 or 11 for girls and age 11 or 12 for boys. Every person's individual timetable for puberty is influenced primarily by heredity, although environmental factors, such as diet and exercise, also exert some influence. These factors can also contribute to precocious and delayed puberty. Some of the most significant parts of pubertal development involve distinctive physiological changes in individuals' height, weight, body composition, and circulatory and respiratory systems. These changes are largely influenced by hormonal activity. Hormones play an organizational role, priming the body to behave in a certain way once puberty begins, and an activational role, referring to changes in hormones during adolescence that trigger behavioral and physical changes. Adolescence is also a time for rapid cognitive development. Piaget describes adolescence as the stage of life in which the individual's thoughts start taking more of an abstract form and the egocentric thoughts decrease. This allows the individual to think and reason in a wider perspective. A combination of behavioral and fMRI studies have demonstrated development of executive functions, that is, cognitive skills that enable the control and coordination of thoughts and behavior, which are generally associated with the prefrontal cortex. The thoughts, ideas and concepts developed at this period of life greatly influence one's future life, playing a major role in character and personality formation. Among the most common beliefs about adolescence is that it is the time when teens form their personal identities. Egocentrism is being performed by adolescents who then form a selfconsciousness of wanting to feel important in their peer groups and having social acceptance of fitting into the group. Empirical studies suggest that this process might be more accurately described as identity development, rather than formation, but confirms a normative process of change in both content and structure of ones thoughts about the self. Researchers have used three general approaches to understanding identity development: self-concept, sense of identity, and self-esteem. The years of adolescence, creates a more conscientious group of young adults. Adolescents pay close attention and give more time and effort to their appearance as their body goes through changes. Unlike children, teens put

forth an effort to look presentable. Adolescence: Dealing With It According To Islamic Theory: Earlier with this issue we dealt with several aspects, namely: - The concept of adolescence. - Stages of adolescence. - Signs of the beginning of adolescence, and the most prominent physical & psychological characteristics. - Problems of adolescence. - Highlighted problems and behavioral challenges in a teenager's life. & now we continue with ways to treat problems experienced by the teenager & complete you with a view of the rest of the aspects in that case, which are as follows: How Islam treated adolescence? Dr Ahmad AL Majdoub says (advisor at the National Center for Social Research in Cairo), that the Prophet _ peace be upon him _ had already everyone saying: "Teach your children praying for seven, and hit them for ten, and separate them in their beds." Majdoub demonstrates with a study conducted by an American scientist named "Alfred church" entitled "sexual behavior of Americans," which was applied to 12 thousand U.S. citizens from different segments of society, which demonstrated that 22% of those asked about the first experience of sex said: Their first sexual experience was at the age of ten, it was while they were in bed trying to sleep, and it was with a brother or a sister or even a mother!! He goes saying : "The study conducted in the early forties, to say that sexual tendencies begin when boys and girls in the age of ten," Majdoub commented on the studies results, saying: "This is proven by our Prophet Muhammad _ peace be upon him _ by Alfred church with 14 centuries From time! But we are unaware of the teachings of our religion. " Majdoub also says: "It became clear to me through a comprehensive field study I've made on a sample of 200 cases about (incest), which became widespread, unfortunately, that most cases of incest was because of a shared sleep in the same

bed with a sister or a mother or ... which is what the Prophet _ peace be upon him _ warned us from in the saying: "and separate them in their beds." And he went on stating: The statements emanating from the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics says: 20% of the Egyptian families are living in one room, and every 7 individuals are sleeping next to each other! and Majdoub refers that his study on incest ended to the conclusion that one of the main reasons the perpetrators of crimes of incest is the extremely low level of religiosity, which did not increase at best about 10%, of course, other than the other reasons, such as: the spread of alcohol between the lower classes, the middle, and the distortion of family values, also ignorance, poverty, and so on Majdoub goes back with this phenomenon to the "motivating, inciting, and exciting sexual factors in newspapers, magazines, programs, soap operas, films broadcasted by television, cinema, and cable as well as videos", warning how serious the lack of role models is and the importance of "religious education in the formation of the human conscience." and Majdoub adds that "according to the latest statement issued by the Central Agency for Public Mobilization and Statistics, Egypt confirms that there are 9 million young males & females aged between 20 & 35 years that can not marry, and there iare9 million others who merely over the age of 35 that have missed the train to marry and became maidens!!! * Islamic theory of education: The Islamic theory of education is based on four things which are: (Physical, spiritual, psychological, & mental education), and these are the four pillars that stem from the values of Islam, and are issued by the Quran and Sunnah and approach companions and advances in the preservation of the instincts from God which people shouldnt switching or distort, for with physical education spiritual education commences from a young age. Islam was interested with mental, spiritual and psychological health, and it was considered the most important merits of cooperation, compassion and solidarity and amongst others that make Muslim communities strong in its total and in its members, & in stories from the Quran what draws to a fully disciplined teenage phase is with God's revelation _ Almighty _ has already been preceded by the Prophet _ peace be upon him _ by saying: "to play with them seven times,

discipline them seven times, & be honest to them seven times, then let loose the rope of liberty." And Islam has provided a number of monuments which inspire discipline in adolescence, such as: "obedience: the sense obedience to God and obedience to His Messenger _ peace be upon him _ and obedience to parents and in their reigns, this was confirmed by the Koran in Lukman Hakims commandment to his son when he was advising him he said:" My son do not involve God for shirk is a great injustice "(Luqman: verse 13). Also there: "follow the righteous, and at the head of who follows their example the Messenger of Allah _ peace be upon him _ for following him and following his Sunnah is an asset of our religion, God almighty said:" Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and in the Last Day and remembers Allah much "[parties: 21]. Islam also considered that one of the main attractions that given away to discipline in adolescence: "cooperation and compassion and solidarity; because it makes the individual in the service of the community, and makes the community in the service of the individual , and evidence for that is narrated by Ahmad in his Musnad from Nu'man bin Bashir _ may Allah be content with him _ the Messenger of Allah _ peace be upon him _ that he said: "A believer is like a body if he the man complained his head , then the rest of his body falters." Islam did not forget the role of the father in his sons life, as well as the influence of the environment in which it arises boy in his education and upbringing, it was narrated in the correct from the Messenger of Allah _ peace be upon him _, he said: "Every child is born on instinct, for his parents gift him or lead him to victory or they probe him." Dr. Mohammed Samir Abdel Fattah indicates (Professor Psychology, Director of Psychological Research Center at the University of Minya), that: "a teenager needs someone to understand his moods and takes into account his physical needs, and so he needs a mature friend to answer his questions with honesty, understanding and compassion, a friend that will listen until the end without interruption or ridicule or doubt, he also needs a friendly mother and an understanding father." & during his talk with the Muslim Website, the psychological expert Dr. Samir Abdel Fattah calls all parents to "immediately stop attempting to program their teenager's life, instead of that they should communicate with them with patience, respect their independence, their thoughts,

and deal with them as great people, show them affection, and pay more attention." Dr. Abdel Fattah advises mothers with the importance of the involvement of the father in the burden of raising children in this dangerous stage of their lives, he also says to mothers all over : "Encourage your son, make himself become optimistic, enhance your method of parenting, and make sure to pick the words as you pick delicate fruit. " and Abdel Fattah directs advice to the father, saying: "Give a measure of freedom under your supervision and satisfaction, but it is important to agree with him on the time and selected place , and reward him if he was on time as you would punish him if he was mistaken, try to understand his problems and search with him for a solution , care for introducing him to good companionship, be a good example and role model, respect his secrets and privacy, do not mock him at all. "Abdel Fattah adds, turning to the father: befriend him and deal with him like a young man, take him to the mosque to pray, especially on Fridays and the Holidays, answer all questions whatever they were with complete honesty, clearly, without embarrassment, devote some time to sit & chat with him, involve him in social activities such as family gatherings, visiting patients, and let him know about the importance of good manners." Dr. Abdel Fattah also advises mothers to consider a number of important observations in dealing with daughters in adolescence emphasizing in the beginning that the mothers should learn the art of treatment of adolescents and he says to the mothers: "Let them know that they are transforming out of childhood & into a new phase called phase commissioning, and that they grew up and are now responsible for their actions, tell her: your responsibilities have increased & so will your rights, also that she has become a full member of the family & she now gets to participate in taking decisions, consulted for her opinion, trusted to perform tasks with confidence in her capabilities; teach her the religious legitimate things such as washing, how to purify ones self, either of the menstrual cycle or from secretions. " Abdel Fattah adds: "Stay away from confronting her with her mistakes, from a strong, intimate relationship with her, support every positive act and good conduct issued by her, give her remarks & dont advise her publicly for for every action, theres an opposite & equal reaction , dont use your full authority in the prevention of errors that cannot go unpunished, seek Gods help, pray for her, not against her, and remember that time is part of the recovery. " Dr. Samir Abdel Fattah (Director, Center for Psychological Research) adds by saying: "open a channel to communicate with them, sit down, interact with them,

understand how they think, what do they love and what do they hate? Beware of treating them as your match, do not compare yourself to them, when they argue focus & reply with logic and proof, if they criticize you then criticize their actions not them as people, & in conclusion seek the help of God to save & guide them. " Understanding the stage & overriding it successfully: The problems we talked about earlier are mainly caused by the lack of understanding of the nature & needs of this stage from the parents also not preparing the children for this phase before reaching it. In order to help parents understand adolescence some scientists have specified the duties of growth that should occur during this stage in order to move to the next stage, and these duties include: 1 Establishing a new type of mature relations with colleagues of the same age. 2 Acquiring a masculine or feminine role which is accepted religiously and socially for each gender. 3 Being satisfied with ones physique & using it properly. 4 Gaining emotional independence from parents and other adults. 5 Choosing a career & preparing properly for it. 6 Preparing for marriage & family life. 7 Developing good mental skills and concepts necessary for efficiency in social life. 8 Acquiring a bunch of religious & ethical values which guides them in their behavior. A teenager believes that he needs five elements at this stage, namely: love and security, respect, self-assertion, social status, & positive guidance. Preparing a teenager: To achieve the duties of growth identified by scientists, and the needs of adolescents in this stage parents should prepare their teenage son or daughter for entering this stage, and overcoming it without problems, and it could be done by using many steps such as the following: 1 Informing teenagers that theyre passing from one stage to another, for they are coming out of childhood into a new phase, meaning that they grew up and are

now responsible for their actions, and it is called the commissioning phase; since man is prosecuted by God almighty; because he is now mentally & psychologically mature which makes him cable of facing the consequences of his choices & doings.

2 That there are physical, emotional, mental, and social changes occurring in his psyche, in its construction, and that is as a result of the revolution occurring inside him in order to prepare him for theses changes in his life, he is no longer a kid playing with no care, he now has a role in life, so the emotional sense towards the opposite sex or sense of desire must be employed to perform this role; for sexual & sentimental emotions are not something dirty & demeaning, because they have an important role in the reconstruction of earth and achieving Gods will in succession rights. Therefore Semitic feelings if properly utilized in this direction, so we humans must maximize them and direct them in the right direction for His Highness established by God in human for it, so we when we say: these emotions and feelings have their way legitimate through marriage, we determine the correct way for unloading and directing. 3 Teachings teens about the rules of fasting, prayer, purity, washing, and with that they have a the opportunity to question anything about this matter, so that they dont have to ask others for information which could harm, or guide them to the path of sin. 4 A full understanding of what adolescents suffer from such as anxiety, nervousness, rebellion, and the absorption of their anger instead of releasing it, because this stage is very delicate, making adolescents very prone to arousal and anger, so parents should provide security and confidence in their teenagers self, & it may be useful to say, for example: "I I know that your brothers are causing some inconveniences, and I felt the nuisance myself, but it seems that there is something else making you angry and grumpy, would you like to talk about? " Because it encourages teenager to talk about what's going on in them. 5 The rumor of the consultation spirit in the family; because applying it makes the teenager understand that opinions may differ & all of them must be respected, and that teaches him how to reveal his opinion rationally, and that makes him

realize that there are strategic things that cannot be compromised, for example: religion, family cohesion, ethics & values.

Dealing with adolescence is a science & an art: From her part Mona Younis a social expert, who won Dr. Shawki Fangari award for Preaching and Islamic Jurisprudence in 1995, offers prescriptions and practical guidance for parents in the art of dealing with their adolescents sons and daughters, saying: "Beware of criticizing them in front of others, and listent to them with great interest when they speak to you, do not interrupt them & do not belittle their views. While speaking with the Muslim Website, social expert Mona Younis calls parents to avoid addressing their adolescent sons and daughters with frustrating & de motivational phrases, such as: (I know whats good for you , there is no need to continue this discussion, I told you so, shut up & listen without interrupting, listen to me & dont argue, how stupid can you be to make the same mistake twice!, so lazy, so selfish, you do not know your own good). And the social expert says: "Studies have shown that expressions of praise have a positive impact in improving the academic achievement of children who were suffering from learning difficulties and a lack of focus." Dr. Mona gives an example of some have dear praises to the hearts of adolescents, such as: (God bless you, wonderful, what a girl, well done, you've improved a lot, what you did was right, this is the best way, your thoughts are fantastic, a great achievement, I like your choice of clothes, continue like this, I am proud of you, excellent work, I feel your sincere desire in taking responsibility, you are trustworthy, ...). Strive to use methods of physical encouragement and praise, such as (a smile, a hug, holding hands, and a tap on the shoulder ...). The social expert concludes by recommending the parents to preserve a number of rules and general guidance in dealing with the children in adolescence, saying to the Guardians: Prepare them for adulthood & explain to them that it is one of the most wonderful times of thier life. Explain to them some of the rulings of fasting, prayer, & purity in a simple manner. Show interest and appreciation for what they say when they talk to you.

 Show them you are interested in their appearance, but leave to them the freedom of choice. Host their friends, get to know them closely, and most of all respect them. Praise their friends with good qualities without condemning others. Encourage them to make good friends, but dont make them feel like youre watching over them and dont force anyone on them. Always make a family reunion. Try to have meals together. Show them how proud you are of them in front of their relatives & friends; this will make them feel ashamed of their mistakes. Take him to mens gatherings where they privately resolve the peoples problems, so that he experiences the atmosphere manhood and responsibilities; Hell feel more manly, mature , and will aspire to take on responsibilities that make him worthy of belonging to that world. Encourage them to practice a sport that they love; do not impose upon a certain kind of sport. Advise them with several hobbies, and encourage them to read to help them improve their behavior. Reward him for his good doings. Ignore actions that you do not like about them. Talk to them as close friends. Make sure that you are a successful example of dealing with his mother. Visit them in school, meet their teachers and tell them how much they praised them for their pros. Choose the right time to start the talk. Try to access their heart before their mind. Stay away from yes or no, unclear, and indirect questions. Put yourself in their shoes in order to understand, and comprehend their suffering, problems, and desires. The social expert Dr. Majzoub notes that there are some problems that appear in adolescence, such as: "sexual deviations, sexual orientation to members of the same sex, delinquency, lack of compatibility with the environment, as well as deviations events of assault, theft, and escape," explaining that " These deviations occur as a result of depriving the teenager at home and at school of love,

compassion, care, supervision, not to satisfying their wishes, and also weak religious instruction." Majzoub explains that adolescence phase in its characteristics and its data is the most dangerous turn that young people pass by where they might crash theyre if not guided & cared for, pointing out that the main risks experienced by teenagers at that stage: "loss of identity and belonging, the lack of objective crave, contradicting the values in which they live by, as well as the problem of the vacuum, and feeling that there is something missing." He also shows that the studies carried out in America on homosexuals showed that the role of the father was non-existent in the family, and the mother was taking on both roles, and that when they came to age (puberty) they tend to mingle women (their mothers - sisters - .....) more than men, This is what has had a noticeable impact in their sexually disorientation ". Remedies & methods for the issues that teenagers face: Social & educational experts as well as psychologists have agreed on the importance of involving a teenager in organized scientific discussions which deals with treating his problems, and getting him acquainted with discussing his problems, with adults openly & confidently, as well as taking note about sexuality through objective scientific teaching, so as not to fall prey to ignorance or temptation. "They also recommended the importance of promoting recreational activity directed trips and participating in activities in popular arenas and clubs, as it should direct them towards scout camps, and to participate in public service projects and a summer job, etc.". Scientific studies also confirmed that more than 80% of the problems of adolescents in the Arab world, are a direct result of their parents trying to conduct their children under their customs and traditions of their communities, and then children become reluctant to talk with their parents; because they believe that their parents either dont care about knowing their problems, or they simply cant understand or solve them. Recent trends in the study of psychiatry that listening well to them at that age is the solution to their problems, and also to find the balance between self-reliance and how to get out of the uniform of advice and guidance into the uniform of friendship, communication, and building the bridge of friendship for the transfer

of expertise as a friend not a guardian, this is the how an intimate relationship is formed between parents and their children at the age of adolescence. " Studies that have been done by the (GSSW) school specialized for Social Studies in the United States on about 400 children, from the age of kindergarten to age 24 on the various meetings at the age of 5, 9, 15, 18, 21, have proved that teenagers in a cohesive family with strong bonding enjoy their interdependence and take crucial decisions on the account of their family, and care about all its members affairs are the least pressured, and the most positive outlook of life, their affairs, and their problems, while others were more prone to depression and stress. Practical solutions: To help parents deal properly with their adolescents problems, the following offers models for problems that can occur with an easy to apply- workable solution, for each. *The first problem: the existence of a state of "Blockage" or swimming against the tide of parents and family, which causes the family and their adolescent to get the feeling that neither of them understands the other. - The proposed solution: says Mona Younis (Psychology Specialist): The cause of this problem lies in the differing concepts of the parents and that of the their offsprings, also the environment in which the parents formed their character and the environment of their offsprings , this is normal for different generations and times, the parents are trying to conduct children under the customs and traditions of their communities, therefore causing the offsprings to be reluctant from discussing things with their parents, because they believe that parents either do not care to know their problems, or they cannot understand, or even if they understand they are not willing to modify their positions. And the only solution can only be true communication, a real dialogue instead of disharmony, conflict, and mutual alienation; parents must truly try to understand the adolescents point of view so that they feel that they are taken seriously, and that their uniqueness is recognized even if they the parents didnt agree with all their opinions and views, but they have a legitimate right to declare those views. More importantly, the teenagers parents should really listen with open hearts from the depths, not just a courtesy, they should also make room for them so that they can find their own way even if they made mistakes these made mistakes will help

them learn; the parents should choose the right time to start dialogue with their teenagers, when theyre not busy they should sit and talk just like friends do, where they should stay away from too much affectation, beautification, and that lecture like tone of rebuke, and stultifying. Try to stay away from questions that are answered by "yes" or "no", or unclear, indirect questions; give them enough space to express themselves, and do not use terms or phrases which might be inadvertently hurtful, for example : "This was a mistake" or didnt I warn you about this before? ". *The second problem: the feelings of shyness and introversion that teenagers have, which hampers their social interaction, these qualities show through facial blushing, stuttering, lack of fluency, and dryness of the throat when they talk. - The proposed solution: the causes of shyness and introversion of teenagers are multiple, but the most important one is their inability to face the problems of this phase, and the method of socialization which they are raised upon, for excessive pampering and cruelty causes them to rely on others to solve their problems, but the nature of the stage requires them to break free from their family and rely on themselves , which leads to self conflict so they resort to withdraw from the social world, therefore introversion and shyness develop whilst talking with others. To remedy this problem the following is recommended: directing the teenagers permanently and indirectly, giving them a lot of room for discussion and dialogue, tolerating them in certain social situations, encouraging them to speak fluently whilst have conversing with others, and enhancing their self confidence. *The third problem: the nervousness, stubbornness, temper, and their desire to achieve their demands with excessive force and violence, also their permanent tenseness which causes a great nuisance for the people around them. -The proposed solution: According to Dr. Abdul Aziz Mohammed Alhor, that the nervousness of teenagers has many reasons some of them are associated with the inherited configuration of their personality, in this case one of the parents is nervous actually; while others are associated with environmental reasons, such as: Being raised in nervous and anger filled environment . Also talking with teenagers rudely, aggressively, and handling them violently, leads them to behave in the same way, if not react in a much worse way,

adolescents become nervous in most cases because of their parents or those around them, as well as the excessive strictness of their parents, and their demands which are usually too much for the teenagers to handle, making them unable to respond to those requests, which makes them feel that theyre being treated aggressively, leading to their stress and irritability, which motivates them to aggressive behavior that is expressed initially with nervousness, for being excessively strict makes them nervous, and rebellious. There are other reasons which cause teenagers to be nervous, for example a small home, the lack of entertaining places where they can practice mental or physical activities, neglecting their real need to unwind and relax for some time. According to Dr. Alhor to treatment of the nervousness of teenagers is through providing a safe environment, love, justice, and independence; teenagers must feel secure at home, safety from the fears of disintegration of the family, safety of the fear of failure in their studies; the other thing is love, the greater the love provided to the teenagers the greater the chances are of understanding them, we should not focus in our conversation with them on threats and punishments, also know that justice in dealing with them essential, because behaving differentially towards them creates fertile ground for nervousness; nervous reactions are reactions to something else and not the problem itself. Independence is important, we must reduce parental authority off of teenagers and give them more self-confidence whilst monitoring from a distance, for the feeling of independence is very much endeared by teenagers, especially at this age, but also we must be firm with teenager, they should not be left to do what they want neither in the way they want nor in the time they want and not with whomever they want; they should also be informed that just like they have rights, they also have duties which must be taken care of, and just like they have freedom the freedom of others must be respected as well. *The fourth problem: the obnoxious behavior of teenagers, such as not taking into account public morals, assaulting people, damaging property, the environment and nature; the inconvenience may be verbally or physically. - The proposed solution: a major cause of disturbing behavior in teenagers is their desire to achieve their purposes without regard to the public interest, also the misconceptions that leak into their mind that a teenager is a strong courageous person, who fights with others and takes his/her rights with force and not by gentle

persuasion, also the frustration, deprivation and oppression that live within the family, imitating and emulating the others chaotic behavior, academic faltering, and accompanying bad peers. The behavioral spams, are: hyperactivity dominated by turbulence and spontaneous behavior improvised, as well as the intensification of the tendency of independence, the aspiration of leadership, expression of themselves, their feelings, and desires in inappropriate ways (yelling, cursing, theft, cruelty, controversy, getting involved in problems, rapid boredom, annoyance from friction with people, justifying their actions with flimsy reasons, aversion from advice, and persistent stubbornness). The method of treatment is enlightening the teenagers of the greatness of their responsibilities that fall on their shoulders, how to be trustworthy, occupying them good deeds, fruitful constructive doings, straightening misconceptions in their mind, explaining the alleged relationship between independence and infringement towards others, encouraging them to accompany good friends who do not like to abuse others, advising them to some of the ways to resolve problems such as confronting the aggression of others wisely, promoting positive initiatives by explaining to them for example if they initiate to positive behavior this demonstrates respect for others so show them through praise and compliments, stay away from provocative words, negative programming and avoid reprimand as much as possible. *The fifth problem: exposure of teenagers to a series of psychological and social conflicts which are related to the difficulty of identifying ones self leading towards negative rebellion regarding the family and the values of the community, this shows in the sense of weak family affiliation, as well as non-compliance with the directives of the parents, also the opposition, stiffness in attitudes, arrogance, vanity, blaming others, and uttering vulgar terms. - The proposed solution: The absence of proper guidance, balanced vigilant monitoring, and the proper role model are what drive teenagers towards rebellion; other reasons for the rebellion are: the conflict between nostalgia towards a childhood filled with fun without responsibilities and looking forward to young adulthood in which there are responsibilities that teenagers face, also frequent social restrictions that restrict their movement, the lack of family interest in their

talents as well as not channeling it in the right direction; parents reprimanding them in front of their siblings or relatives or friends, and watching violent films and programs that call to rebellion against religious and social values. According to both Dr. Bader Mohammad Malak, and Dr. Latifa Hussein Al-Kandari the treatment of rebellion in teenagers is by the following means: let them express their personal thoughts, and directing them towards effective programs to devote and exercise the concept of tolerance and coexistence in the vicinity of sports and cultural clubs. Strengthening their religious faith through religious obligations, commitments, good companionship, communicating and cooperating with people of experience and righteousness inside the family environment and outside too; intensified doses of Islamic culture are a must, because Islamic law governs the teenager's life not as enemies of Islam allegedly say that it suppresses desires and forbids lusts; participating with teenagers in work activities is favored, to reduce the areas of difference and expand the fields of understanding, promoting the development of family shared objectives and making decisions collectively thereby allowing the teenagers to host their friends at home to get to know them by sitting with them for SOME time. Beware negative programming, and avoid such phrases: you are a failure, you are stubborn, rebellious, shut up foul mouth, you always argue and criticize, youll never understand ... etc.; because these words and phrases provoke teenagers causing more problems and troubles to arise which do not achieve what is meant by the treatment. Highlighted behavioral problems and challenges in a teenager's life: 1 - Internal conflict: where teenagers suffer from having several internal conflicts, including: conflict of independence from family and relying on it, the conflict between the remnants of childhood and the requirements of masculinity and femininity, the conflict between the excess aspirations of adolescent and the evident shortcomings regarding their obligations, the conflict between their internal instincts and social traditions, the religious conflict between what they had learned of the rituals, traditions, and principles at a young age and new critical thinking where they form their own life philosophy, also the cultural struggle between the generation in which they live in including all their views, ideas and the previous generation.

2 - Alienation and rebellion: teenagers always complain that their parents do not understand them, thats why they try to break away from the constants, values, and wishes of their parents as a way to confirm and prove their uniqueness, and they believe that in order for that to happen it requires opposing their authority as parents; because they consider any kind of superior authority or guidance would be an unbearable disregard to their mental abilities that have become substantially parallel to grownups capabilities, and an insult to the critical and aware sense that they have which pushes them to the scrutiny of all things, in accordance with the standards of logic, thus rebellious, arrogant, stubborn, intolerant, and aggressive behaviors develop. 3 - Shyness and introversion: the excessive pampering and strictness lead to teenagers to rely on others to solve problems, but the nature of the stage requires them to break free from the family and become more self-reliant, thereby increasing the intensity of the conflict, hence they resort to withdraw from the social world and become shy introverts. 4 Obnoxious behavior: which is caused by the desire of teenagers to achieve their own objectives without regard for the public interest, therefore they may scream, curse, steal, kick youngsters, fight with adults, damage property, argue trivial things, get involved in problems, violate authorities, and most of all they dont care about others feelings. 5 - Nervousness and irritability: teenagers acting through their anger and stubbornness want to achieve their demands with excessive force and violence, they usually are so nervous thereby becoming a great nuisance for everyone around them. It should be noted that many of the scientific studies indicate a strong relationship between the function of sex hormones and emotional interaction of teenagers, in the sense that the high hormonal levels during this stage lead to large mood reactions in the form of anger, excitement and a bad temper in males, while anger and depression in females. Dr. Ahmad Hidayat an expert at the National Center for Social and Criminological Research explains the appearances and characteristics of adolescence, he says: drowning in imagination, reading erotic stories, detective novels, stories of violence, tendency to daydream, and love at first sight; they also excel in love

adventures, performing dangerous acts, the tendency to imitate, also might be susceptible to catching diseases, such as: anemia, arched back, and short-sight. Whilst speaking to the Muslim site, Dr. Hidayat mentions the behavior of a teenage girl: "rushing in, trying to prove themselves, self-consciousness of the changes that have occurred in their figure, the need to mimic their mothers behavior, volatility and frequency of emotions, they get angry quickly, but they calm down quickly as well, they tend to make friends with the opposite sex, their sense of anxiety and dread at the time of the first menstrual cycle, they cannot discuss what they feel about the problems with family members, as they do not understand the nature of this process

Finally...
Parents must invest this phase positively, and thats by hiring and directing the energies of their adolescent for them personally as well as for their family, country, and society as a whole. This would not be possible without granting teenagers proper emotional support, and freedom within controls religion and society, trust, developing their creative thinking, encouraging them to read and see, practicing sports and useful hobbies, showing them how to face their challenges and responsibilities, and investing in their spare time which will be beneficial. Perhaps our example for that are the Companions God bless them for those who follow a familiar path to theirs will feel the greatness of their morals, and the prestige of their action their good doings, even at this stage, one of the most difficult stages experienced by the human morally, organically and educationally as well. With the wisdom and the company of the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him whos a great leader, role model, and a great educator, which leads them to the true Islamic approach which always directs humans properly in all things concerning them and guides them to virtue those which are the best of Gods creations after the Apostles may Gods prayers be upon them, among them whom has memorized the Holy Quran by heart in the early years of life, as well as those who have brilliantly studied the science of Quran, Sunnah, Doctrine and a lot of other human related sciences; some of them were preachers who captivated hearts

and minds such as our Master Mossaab Bin Amir who was deputed by the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him a messenger to the city even though he was under eighteen years of age, others are youngsters who led armies and fought battles while they were in the age of dreams, like our Master Osama Bin Zaid God bless them all and thats only because they were brought up under the shade of Islam where they graduated from Muhammadiyah venerable school. Praise be to Allah ... May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad, his family and companions.