Youthbeyondblue Fact sheet 20

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TAKING ACTION AGAINST BULLYING

There are many different things you might be able to do if you are being bullied. As long as you dont feel unsafe or physically threatened, you might try first to work it out yourself. Here are some tips that may be helpful, especially for verbal bullying. Ignore the person who is bullying you (including contact with him/her via mobile phone or email) bullies are looking for a reaction and often lose interest if they dont get one. Stay with others stick to areas where you feel safe and hang out with people you trust. The person who is bullying you wont pick on you as much when there are other people around. Stay positive and be confident think of all the things you do well and try not to let the bullying affect your confidence. Keep out of the bullys way it might be possible for you to avoid the person who is bullying you, for example by travelling a different way to school, or avoiding the places that he/she hangs out. Dont reply to bullying messages itll only get worse if you do. By replying, the bully gets what he or she wants. Often if you dont reply, the person will leave you alone. Ask for help if the bullying doesnt stop, you might find it helpful to ask someone else for advice. You should also report it to someone in charge either at school or at work.

BULLYING
Anyone can be bullied its a lot more common than people think and can happen at school, at home, on the sporting field, at work or online. If you are being bullied, its important to remember that you are not to blame, and that there are steps you can take to stop it. Bullying is a serious matter and no one should have to put up with being bullied.
WHAT IS BULLYING?
There are many ways that someone can be bullied. Bullying can be: Verbal: including name calling or put downs, threats, teasing and sexual harassment even if it is done in an indirect or suggestive way. This can also take place online or through mobile phone text messages. Physical: including being punched, tripped, kicked or having your belongings stolen or damaged. It might also include sexual abuse. Social: including being left out or ignored, or having rumours spread about you. This type of bullying is very common. Psychological: this is often less obvious or direct than other forms of bullying. You might be given dirty looks, be stalked or made to feel intimidated. Cyberbullying: this is a form of bullying which takes place online, for example via email, chat rooms, discussion groups, online social networking, instant messaging or web pages. This can also take place via mobile phone text messages. For more information, see Youthbeyondblue Fact Sheet 23 Cyberbullying.

WHEN ISNT IT BULLYING?

Bullying isnt a one-off incident a friend being in a bad mood one day, calling you names and then apologising later. Its when name-calling or threats continue that it becomes bullying.

HOW BULLYING AFFECTS PEOPLE

Bullying can have a serious impact on how someone feels about him/herself. People who are bullied often feel that they are all alone and think there is nothing they can do to change the situation. Ongoing bullying

is of great concern. It can lower a persons self-esteem and lead to feelings of sadness, depression, anger and confusion. If you are being bullied, remind yourself that its not your fault and that there is something you can do to stop it. The best place to start is to talk to people you trust friends, family and teachers about what is happening to you and to discuss with them some ways of dealing with the problem.

Visit: www.youthbeyondblue.com Info line: 1300 22 4636 Email: infoline@beyondblue.org.au

beyondblue: the national depression initiative

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WHY DO PEOPLE BULLY OTHERS?

Bullying can be done by an individual person or by a group of people. Anyone can be a bully, including a friend, your boyfriend or girlfriend, brother or sister, or another family member. A bully can also be an older person, or someone in a position of power such as a teacher, parent or boss.
Often, bullies have low self-esteem and may even have been bullied in the past themselves. They may use bullying as a way of making themselves feel more powerful. People who bully can be motivated by jealousy and some do not understand the amount of hurt their behaviour causes. If you are being bullied, it may help to remember that often, bullies are not as tough as they make out.

KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER

Everyone has the right to live, work, study and play in an environment free from bullying, harassment, discrimination and violence. No one deserves or asks to be bullied. Reporting bullying or asking for help, does not mean you are giving in to a bully. Its about looking after yourself and making sure you feel happier and more comfortable. If you feel no-one believes you or is taking you seriously, it doesnt mean that your feelings arent valid or the bullying should continue. Its important you tell someone else and continue to do so until you are helped.

GETTING HELP
Try to remember that no matter how hard you try, the person who is bullying you might not be willing to change his or her behaviour. This is when talking to someone else can be really helpful. This may seem scary at first, however, telling someone can lighten your load and help you to work out how to address the problem and how you can stop being bullied. Talking to someone is particularly important if you feel unsafe or frightened. Asking for help or talking to someone about it does not mean you are weak or have given in. In fact, it can take a lot of strength and courage. Although you may not want to, its important to tell someone in charge about what is happening. Your teachers and school counsellors want to know about bullying so they can take action and try to stop bullying across the school its their job to help. There are many people who can support you, including friends, older brothers and sisters, teachers, family members, counsellors or parents. The person you decide to talk to should be someone you know well and trust. He/she will be able to give you support and may be able to suggest ways to deal with the situation that you hadnt considered. Its important to address the feelings that come from being bullied. If you are seeing a counsellor and feel you might get too nervous to speak, write down what youd like to say on paper or in an email before your appointment. If it helps, you might feel more comfortable taking a friend with you.

MORE INFORMATION AND SUPPORT

You can speak to trained counsellors by phoning these 24-hour telephone counselling services: Lifeline 13 11 14 (cost of a local call) Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800 (freecall) Information and support is also available from the following websites: beyondblue www.youthbeyondblue.com or www.beyondblue.org.au Information on depression, anxiety and how to help a friend headspace www.headspace.org.au Information, support and help near you ReachOut.com www.reachout.com Information and support for young people going through tough times

National Centre Against Bullying www.ncab.org.au Information and research for schools about bullying National LGBT Health Alliance www.lgbthealth.org.au Information and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and other sexuality, sex and gender diverse people (LGBT) The websites below can help you to find health services in your area. They list services that are either free of charge or low cost: Kids Help Line www.kidshelp.com.au Lifeline Service Finder www.lifeline.org.au/service_finder If you or a friend want to communicate with someone via email or online, Kids Help Line offers confidential, non-judgemental, emotional support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
SOURCES This fact sheet is based on the following sources:
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Sometimes its easier to talk to someone you dont know and thats where services like Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) and Lifeline (13 11 14) are useful.

beyondblue www.youthbeyondblue.com ReachOut.com www.reachout.com

Visit: www.youthbeyondblue.com Info line: 1300 22 4636 Email: infoline@beyondblue.org.au

beyondblue: the national depression initiative
BL/0488 04/11