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Obama on
CSM Campus!
Tuesday, 9/16
Lockridge Arena
9:30 AM speech

Volume 89, Issue 3 September 15, 2008 Page 3

Geek Week the

Adam Smiley
Senior, E.E.
“I felt [CSM] was a place where I
A New Mines.edu Christianity
could be a dork and it wouldn’t be blog
out of the ordinary.” Page 4 Page 3 now on oredigger.net

ASCSM begins year with ambitious goal set

David Vargas real solutions.” several council members. In addi- the capital construction fee. ASCSM will soon be available at
Staff Writer The goals included the trans- tion to these priorities, ASCSM put The meeting also touched on a Arthur Lakes Library. ASCSM Par-
formation of Colorado School of forth five additional goals: engage new initiative being spearheaded by liamentarian Charles Perko informed
The Associated Students of the Mines into a more environmentally students in campus events and Professor Tom McKinnon; a possible the council that, over the past four
Colorado School of Mines held their sustainable institution. ASCSM’s en- make the successes of CSM known switch to electronic based evalua- years, he had worked to compile the
first meeting last Thursday; no time vironmental priority also suggests to the broader community; maintain tions as an effective way to reduce historical records.
was wasted in laying out an agenda examination of alternative uses of the transparency of the student the paper consumption on campus. When asked how he felt the
for the coming year. the Intermodal Transportation Fee government and its actions; ensure Also on the agenda was the broken meeting had meeting went, Duffy
Student Body President Kevin funding, which currently goes toward the accountability of professors, marquee by the Student Center, responded, “I couldn’t be prouder
Duffy led the charge by presenting student passes for Denver’s RTD academic and administrative offices which the student government is of the hard work the ASCSM council
the council’s priorities. “ASCSM is transit system. by publishing campus resources; planning on having replaced with a has done thus far to set the year
focused on providing tangible results ASCSM would also like to insti- work with Public Safety to maintain new LCD version capable of playing of right. Our challenge now lies
for the students of Mines,” Duffy tutionalize the voter registration pro- communication with the student movie trailers. in keeping our resolve to achieve
said. “With these priorities, we will cess, in order to “provide leverage in body and ensure the recognition of Additionally, an official record these great tasks we have set upon
be taking the first step in establishing local Golden politics” according to the student concerns in the use of of business from 1993 to 2008 of ourselves.”

patrick beseda / oredigger

Local businesses hold CSM Academy Steel research and innovation
health and wellness fair Jake Rezac
Staff Writer
of steel. “There are tremendous is-
sues to face,” explained Matlock,
output by a significant margin, was
behind world leaders not very long
Ben Makuh the best,” said Allison. due both to the size of this pipeline ago. This fact points to the changes
Staff Writer Also attending was certified “These are the people we’re and the change in climate across going on in the steel industry and the
massage therapist Wendy Goins talking to – notice they’re all inter- the area through which it will run. ASPPRC in terms of globalization.
“We want to help people real- from Golden Bodyworker, providing national,” commented Dr. David At the ASPPRC, “sponsors rep-
ize how much fun it can be to be information on posture and mas- Matlock during his lecture, “Steel resent companies from all around
healthy,” said Chef Lilly Allison at sage therapy. When asked, Goins Research at the Colorado School By 2015, “six times more the world.” This is very different from
the first annual health fair put on by stressed that massage therapy of Mines and the Impact of Glo- how it was in 1984, when ASPPRC
the Golden Health and Wellness should not be thought of as alter- balization”, on Friday, September high strength steels will began. Not until the late 1990s,
Alliance. native healing, but rather as “com- 12th. The lecture was the first in a when Posco in Korea became a
Last Saturday at Golden Pilates, plimentary to traditional medicine.” series of seminars being brought be used than today” in car sponsor of ASPPRC, did the center
a studio right off of Washington on As she gave a free chair massage, to campus by the CSM Acad- have any international sponsors.
10th street, a group of health profes- she explained that healing really emy, which aims to create an
manufacturing alone This led to a large increase in
sionals gathered together for a fun involves more than just physical “academic town square,” where worldwide sponsorship, and there
and informative morning regarding elimination of a problem. “The body faculty and students can exchange are currently 26 sponsors. These
different aspects of healthy living. is so complex, and we often focus ideas. Dr. Matlock is co-founder Some of the consequences of these partners have helped the center
The eight businesses form the Al- on the physical so much that we and current head of the Advanced issues are “high stress and sig- perform its mission of “concentrating
liance, which was don’t even look at Steel Processing and Products Re- nificant deformation [of the pipeline], on research at the interface between
created one year
ago as a support
“The secret to a good theLater, emotional.”
search Center at Mines and used and you have to design for strain.” producers and users of steel.”
his lecture to discuss the need Wind turbines were another Sponsors of the ASPPRC are
network for its mem- smoothie is using gave a cooking for steel research as well as how example. The gear boxes inside both users of steel and producers
bers and as a non- demonstration this research affects the ASPPRC. turbines, as well as the actual of it. They range from GM, which
profit organization frozen fruit.” about how easy it is Dr. Matlock began his lecture towers, are mostly made of steel. uses steel in many of its products,
that would help the to make good-tast- with a question which is often pos- Overall, Matlock stressed the to Posco, which is a steel producer.
public learn about health and the ing food. As the attendees sipped ited to him: “Is everything already need for new steel developments. According to Matlock, they are able
maintenance of their bodies. their free peanut butter smoothie known about steel?” His answer Steel developers are trying to cre- to maintain this diversity because
Many of the booths provided samples, Allison explained that “the was a resounding no. According ate corrosion-resistant properties their “success has been with a
free pamphlets and information secret to a good smoothie is using to Matlock, there is still room for for steels. By 2015, “six times more personal attention to the spon-
pertaining to their area of expertise, frozen fruit. Don’t add ice, because advancement and improvement high strength steels will be used than sors.” Matlock doesn’t believe in
as well as small demonstrations of it waters it down.” Goins also gave a in the understanding of steel. One today” in car manufacturing alone. doing business through email. “Per-
services that they could provide. demonstration on posture and how example Matlock gave dealt with Having stressed the importance sonal technology transfer is critical.”
Of particular interest to the college to walk and sit correctly. improved energy usage for products of steel research, Matlock proceeded Although globalization has helped
student, perhaps, was a spread “We want to be part of the com- containing steel. “Steel develop- to discuss the ASPPRC and the steel the ASPPRC gain new sponsorship,
of free samples of food prepared munity,” said Kaycie Rosen, ND, of ments are absolutely critical for industry as a whole. He described the center still faces difficulties.
by Chef Allison, including fruit with Golden Naturopathic Clinic. “We energy development,” Matlock said, how “steel is a ‘growth industry;’” “Consolidation [of steel companies]
honey-vanilla yogurt dip, blueberry love to help people be aware.” As referring to the steel portions of cars. about one hundred million more continues to [provide] new chal-
flax muffins, mini vegetable frittatas, part of that mission, they publish All Another example he gave was tons of steel are used each year. lenges,” said Matlock. This causes
and brochette with raspberry but- Good Medicine, a quarterly newslet- the Rockies Express Pipeline. When Part of the reason for this growth, the center to lose money. However,
ter or peach topping. “There’s this ter aimed at educating people on complete, this pipeline, which will Matlock said, is because China and Matlock explained that there is a
general idea among most people different health-related topics. “We transport natural gas from western many other Asian nations are rapidly “demand for consistent materials
that healthy food tastes bad. It’s want people to be healthier,” said Wyoming to eastern Ohio, will be increasing their steel outputs. China worldwide” in the steel industry,
my goal to change that, because Nancy E. Gill, DDS, and that was 1679 miles long and 42 inches in in particular, which has recently and as long as this is the case,
the healthiest foods can really taste certainly reflected at the health fair. diameter – a total of 1.2 million tons become the world’s leader in steel steel research will be essential.

News - 2 Features - 4 opinion - 9 sports - 10 satire - 9

~headlines ~geek of the week ~principally irked ~men’s soccer ~genius juice
~world News in Brief ~communications center ~“real speak” ~afc shakeup ~Sudoku puzzle
Page 2 n e w s September 15, 2008

Abdullah Ahmed, Asst. Business Manager

Chicago, Illinois: A revolutionary Manchester, England: A new

bionic arm has been created at the study of over 900 children sug-
Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, gests that children who attend
where the prosthetic arm is con- daycare early on are much less
trolled by the brain. The surgeons likely to develop asthma symptoms
simply attach the nerves that were when growing up. The study also
previously attached to the ampu- suggests that infants who entered
tated arm and reconnect them to daycare before the age of 6 months
the chest muscles, where special are expected to develop temporary
sensors pick up the electrical sig- asthma early in life rather than a
nals from the brain that now thinks long-lasting one in the long run.
the real arm is attached! The research is still not able to
draw a clear connection.

College Station, Texas: A re-

search team at Texas A&M Uni-
versity has been able to train Dublin, Ireland: A new painting
insects, such as wasps, that have technique is being developed by
tremulous sniffing senses to detect scientists that could kill micro bac-
dangers. Wasps are able to detect teria and bugs that are antibiotic-
TNT and other explosives. Unlike resistant. The paint, to be used in
dogs, wasps do not require in- hospitals, is mixed with titanium
tense training, and can be used as dioxide, and when exposed to flo-
biological detectors during arsons rescent light, the nano-particles (a
that may pose danger to dogs. The billionth of a meter in size) absorb
research is still ongoing. the fluorescent light and create
hydroxyl radicals. That in turn elimi-
nates bacteria and superbugs.

Oredigger Staff

Headlines from around the world

Zach Aman

Sara Post
Managing Editor
Emily Trudell, Staff Writer Hugo Chavez called for the Venezu- light fabrics, metallic cloths, and vi-
Hilary Brown elan ambassador to return home and brant colors for next season. Country
Copy Editor expelled the American ambassador music star Kenny Chesney was
Hurricane Ike battered Texas office.
from Venezuela. nominated for seven Country Music
Josh Elliott while an estimated 90,000 residents Chile made its territorial waters on
Facebook switched over to its Award nominations, more than any
Business Manager ignored the evacuation warnings the Pacific Ocean a whale sanctu-
redesigned site, despite the protests other artist this year.
and planned to ride out the storm. ary, banning whale hunting on the
Lily Giddings of many of its 90 million users. Pop The “Bunny Suicides”, a series
Meanwhile, Americans mourned 3,400 mile coast. After suffering from
Design Editor Singer Pink said of Vice Presiden- of darkly humorous picture books,
the loss of thousands of citizens on a stroke last month, North Korean
tial Candidate Sarah Palin, “This were pulled from shelves of the
the seventh anniversary of 9/11. leader Kim Jong Il had brain sur-
Richard Walker woman hates women.” Bookuu Book City store after a
Webmaster Swimming icon Michael Phelps gery and could have partial paralysis
Rapper Kanye West and his 12-year old from Shanghai commit-
hosted the comedy show Saturday on one side of his body; the North
manager Don Crowley were ar- ted suicide. Leonid Stadnyk, the
Cericia Martinez Night Live. Korean government has called these
Asst. Design Editor for Layout rested in Los Angeles after allegedly tallest living man, acquired a second
Republican presidential candidate reports a “conspiracy plot.”
smashing two paparazzi cameras. world record for having the world’s
John McCain and VP candidate Ford Motor Co. announced its
Ryan Browne Fashion week in New York City largest hand, with a palm that spans
Sarah Palin battled with rival Ba- plan to introduce new hybrid cars to
Asst. Business Manager for introduced a mix of feminine styles, a whopping 31 centimeters.
rack Obama using “lipstick” analo- the market in order to compete with
Database Management
gies. John Ramsey said that he has rivals General Motors and Toyota.
Abdullah Ahmed forgiven the media for the “lynching” Oil worker deaths have risen by 70
Asst. Business Manager for of his family, after prosecutors recent- percent since 2002, with 598 deaths
Sales and Marketing

Mike Stone
Fool’s Gold Content Manager
ly cleared the Ramsey family of the
murder of their 6 year-old daughter
Jon-Benet in 1996.
Democratic Vice-Presidential
from year 2002 to 2007.
Bolivian President Evo
Morales expelled Ameri-
can ambassador Phil-
Jason Fish candidate Joe Biden and his wife ip Goldberg for

Content Manager released their personal tax records allegedly provok-
covering the last decade. Ten pas- ing violent pro-
Kevin Duffy sengers were killed and many others tests. At the
Content Manager were injured Friday when a freight train same time,
and a Metrolink train collided head-on Venezuelan
Tim Weilert in suburban Los Angeles. President

Content Manager
Pirates off the coast of Somalia
Matthew Pusard captured nine ships, keeping 100
Content Manager people hostage for ransom. An
earthquake measuring 6.1 on the
David Frossard Richter scale destroyed nearly 200
Faculty Advisor

small villages, killed at least six, and
injured at least 46 in southern Iran.
Didier Bourguet, a former U.N.
employee, was convicted of rap-
ing about 20 teenaged African girls
during his tour in Central African

Republic and the Congo between
1998 and 2004. Ehud Olmert, the
current prime minister of Israel,
announced that he will resign his

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
September 15, 2008 n e w s Page 3

Mines AC&N introduces new website

Demonstrates Mines’s 21st Century side
Gina Boice
running at the same time – presented maintaining a successful
Guest Columnist a host of difficult challenges. institutional marketing
The Colorado School of Mines The first task was to assess website. Members were
website will soon be transformed, the existing web environment and drawn from the Graduate
with a bold, new, contemporary look, determine our needs: What is the Office, the Admissions
simpler navigation, and improved website used for, and what should Office, academic depart-
search capabilities. A campus-wide it be used for? Working with CSM’s ments, Athletics, Human
committee has been working for public-relations director and its chief Resources, Public Rela-
months on the new website, which information officer, with guidance tions, Academic Comput-
will employ a new web structure and from the president, we determined ing and Networking, and
new technologies, all supervised by a that there were three principal needs the student body. These
new web-support team. to address: representatives have met
Or, to put it another way, CSM’s The first need was to serve the weekly for the past year.
website will move out of the 20th local Mines community. This is what Initially the group ex-
century and into the 21st. the current site does now, for the amined university sites
Believe it or not, in the late ‘90s, most part. and practices from all
CSM’s present website was designed The second need was to share over the country. The
New mines.edu home page COURTESY AC&N
using the latest technologies. Pro- what makes Mines such a unique committee spent time
grammers used JavaScript, fly-outs, place to study. To use the website to analyzing CSM’s current website and months and each will have a inside.mines.edu.
and daringly designed it for 600x800 recruit talented students and faculty and distinguished between market- unique emphasis. Hmmm, you might be saying. A
resolution–state-of-the-art at the time, from around the world. In short, to ing content (that is, outward facing The marketing site is almost com- new site answering to www.mines.
though quite deficient today. Due to market Mines more effectively (we content such as information for plete and will be launched soon after edu and another at inside.mines.
personnel constraints, competition have come to refer to this part of our prospective students, admissions all initial content has been submitted edu? How does that affect all of my
from higher-priority projects, and very new web presence as the “market- requirements, tuition, and the unique- and reviewed, perhaps this month. bookmarks, or all those links and
limited oversight, the website became ing site”). ness of the university) and community The marketing site is relatively small services and publications currently
neglected for an extended period. The third need was to provide content (inward-facing content, such compared to the inward-facing com- online? Web-support staff have put
Today our web presence is woe- a way to reach specific university as detailed student activities and munity site, but there are still over 400 a lot of thought and effort into this
fully underwhelming and fails to reflect services through a universal login, cur- events information, class information, pages of content to create and review question so that existing pages – and
the quality or professionalism of the rently the function of CSM Trailhead, and administrative information for cur- before it goes public. bookmarks to them – will continue to
university. With 15 years of accumu- which provides access to registration rently enrolled students). The most difficult issues in creat- work as they always have. Of course,
lated content, reforming our legacy information, financial information, After the assessment was done ing a new site aren’t the design or in such a complex environment we’re
web environment is daunting. But Webmail, Blackboard, self-service and finances were put in place, we the programming. Organizing, as- likely to break something from time to
the thought of maintaining the current Banner and some other services. developed a request for proposals, or sembling, and creating content are time. So if you discover a link that no
website indefinitely is even more so. In our current web environment, RFP, to search for a web-design and the real challenges. There are many longer works please submit a Mines
A year and a half ago, the uni- we generally meet the first and third marketing company to redesign and people contributing to this, and Public Help Center service request at help-
versity decided to invest in a new requirements, though some updating help untangle our site. Five proposals Relations department staff members desk.mines.edu to let us know what
website and hired a project manager is planned. What is lacking, however, were evaluated and a company was review all content to make sure it is you found.
to coordinate site development and is a “marketing site.” selected to help us create a new appropriate, consistent, and meets Change brings challenges, but our
web-support strategies. Although it The second task was to cre- outward-facing marketing site, and their standards. website transformation has been —
seems like a long time ago, building ate a committee of stakeholders– restructure and revamp our inward- The new marketing site will answer and will be — an exciting, rewarding
a new web environment – while un- representatives from departments facing community site. Both will be to www.mines.edu and the inward- project. We’re anxious to share it soon
tangling the current one and keeping it that have an interest in building and available publicly in upcoming weeks facing community site will answer to with the Mines community.

Geology Museum Alternative Power:

Open House
Robby Gill
Methanol Power Packs
Benjamin M. Weilert
Staff Writer
issues that must be overcome to
make these power packs. “There
tubes,” said Datye. Foam had
better bonds between its par-
bought) and cut by the Kile family. Most alternative energy sourc- are many challenges to package ticles, which helped to produce
Staff Writer This year’s ceremony focused es have been researched and the catalyst . . . and to keep low a uniform coating.
The Geology Museum held on bringing more people to the developed to reduce our reliance heat.” Since many applications that Now that the issue of pack-
its annual Open House Night last museum. Thus, the event orga- on petroleum-based energy could use these fuel cells require aging was solved, the attention
Wednesday. Not only was the mu- nizers tried new ways to get the systems. But, what if you need low temperatures from their energy turned to the design of the cata-
seum open later, a silent auction word out. a small energy source, such as sources, this issue was covered for lyst. “We want a catalyst that is
was held in order to raise money. “We sent letters out to the pub- a battery? half of the lecture. active towards the formation
“I’m looking forward to getting lic,” said Ryan Balchuck, a student Abhaya Datye, from the De- “What can we do to make this of hydrogen,” said Datye. “The
some good specimens,” said Jaron worker. “We’re expecting bigger partment of Chemical and Nucle- reactor more uniform in tempera- only products we make are CO
Lucero, Association of Geology attendance this year.” ar Engineering at the University of ture?” asked Datye, rhetorically. and CO2. We want to minimize
Students President, waiting for the The open house was scheduled New Mexico, gave a presentation “A wall coated reactor is good CO, because it’s bad for the fuel
auction to begin. around local events, including the last Friday on the more portable because, inherently, it has short dif- cell.”
The tradition of having an open Denver Gem and Mineral Show. forms of alternative energy, entitled fusion lengths.” An issue with coat- The goal of the fuel cell is to
house began back in 1980. Guests “Steam ing arose produce a lot of hydrogen with a
Not only were attendees from
One of the challenges that comes when at- minimal amount of reverse-water
were treated to classical music Golden, but also from all around
while being served hors d’oeuvres i n g o f with downsizing alternative energy tempting shifting, reducing the amount of
America and even some interna-
Metha- thicker final product.
and beverages. tional visitors.
n o l f o r is how much energy can be fit in a applica- The catalyst with the best
The night also marked the “This is their night to come so-
P o r - tions. results was a combination of
ribbon-cutting ceremony for the cialize,” said Dr. Geller, referring to
gift shop, something the museum
table certain space “ T h e palladium and zinc. Despite the
how hectic other local events this Power.” coating expensive nature of palladium,
has been lacking since moving to week are. Due to the energy demands of was thin because [it] would flake it seemed to be the best choice.
its current location in 2003. The Dr. Geller was able to use the our society, Datye said, “There off when it was thicker.” “You want an ideal catalyst
honors were given to Dr. Bruce night as an opportunity to reflect is an interest in coming up with The problem holding back the to recover and to restore to its
Geller, museum curator. on the past year. He was hired alternative power.” production of thicker coatings original state, even after abuse,”
“By the power vested in me by as curator on August 23, 2007. “Wouldn’t it be nice for a was in the coating fluid. “When said Datye. A graph showed that
the trustees, the citizens, and my In his first year, he has worked to laptop to run on methanol for 20 you make a coating fluid, it’s the palladium catalyst returned
wife, I declare this gift shop open!” improve the state of the museum. hours?” asked Datye at the start non-Newtonian . . . which affects to 100 % productivity after being
announced Dr. Geller. One improvement was to expand of the lecture. One of the chal- the coating.” This problem was restored, as compared to about
The night was also an opportu- the hours of operation. lenges that comes with down- solved using chemical engineering 80 % restoration for a copper
nity to show off new displays. As Overall, the night was a huge sizing alternative energy is how techniques. When a solution was catalyst.
stated by the Museum’s Advisory success. The museum was able to much energy can be fit in a cer- found, it still needed some adjust- There are still many issues
Council, the museum’s goal is to improve on its international recogni- tain space. “Chemical fuel packs ments. “We were getting thicker that need to be resolved before
“strive to improve the collection, tion, and many small-time collec- more energy per unit volume than coatings, but they weren’t pretty,” fuel cells such as these methanol
through expansion, display and tors were able to leave with some a battery.” The basis of these said Datye. power packs are available to the
preservation.” One of the main at- steals. Dr. Geller summed up the chemical fuels is alcohol. “Alco- Most of the coating was not public. However, progress is be-
tractions was the Dan and Dianna night with a reflection of his work hols are ‘renewable fuels’,” said uniform in the tubes, which was ing made, which is encouraging
Kile Collection. The collection is Datye. “The goal is hydrogen.” another problem. The solution to a world filled with batteries.
so far: “Even with the accomplish-
very unique in that every speci- However, even with higher for this was foam. “We learned The project was partially funded
ments of my first year, there is still
energy density, there are many how to make foams inside these by the military.
men was self-collected (found, not much to achieve.”

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
Page 4 f e a t u r e s September 15,2008

Geek Week
wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. book titled Twenty Spy Gadgets
What activities or for the Evil Genius caught my eye.
of clubs are you in-
volved in?
I didn’t end up buying that book.
But I later bought a book called
the I’m involved in a
couple. The first is Jiu
Fifteen Electronic Products for the
Evil Genius. It contained one of the
Jitsu Club, which is most interesting electronic gadgets

Alyssa Volk
...Adam Smiley, Senior: Electrical Engineering a form of martial
arts. I’m also the
I’ve ever seen. It’s a portable elec-
tromagnetic pulse generator. It’s
co-president of something you can build out of
Staff Writer Fighting American your home from parts bought
nerdiness, which is hereditary. In as much as possible.
[Oredigger] What are you fact, my dad is a complete geek Do you have any phobias? Military Engineers. at Radio Shack. I haven’t con-

studying? Do you enjoy it? himself. Every Friday he goes to Nothing out of the ordinary, but Starting this Friday, structed it yet, but at some
[Smiley] I’m studying electrical the local comic shop, where he I do have a fear of spiders. I’ll also be a mem- point I will.

engineering, which is fantastic. I has two or three comic books on What is your favorite mov- ber of the Assassins What is the geekiest
really enjoy it! I’ve never changed backorder. He never fails to stop in ie? Club. thing you’ve seen or done
majors and I’ve wanted to be an and read them. I’m a huge science fiction movie What is the As- at Mines?

electrical engineer since I was eight What is the geekiest thing junkie. My favorite science fiction sassins Club? It was the last week
years old. you own? movie is a toss-up between the It’s something that of class this past semes-

Do you consider yourself a It’s a toss-up between two original Star Wars and Gattaca. I’ve has made headway ter. The class had big lab
geek? things. The first always been a HUGE Star Wars fan, on campuses nation- benches with the electrical

In some that comes to but I love the movie Gattaca. It’s one wide. You basically get outlet placed directly in
senses I really mind is a cof- of my favorite movies of all time. a bunch of people to- front of you. It occurred to

do. You couldn’t fee table comic What is your favorite geek gether and have a role- me that no self-respecting
pick me out in a pop-up book. joke? playing scene. You’re electrical engineer could
crowd because It’s Star Trek’s Have you ever heard of the assigned a target and really call himself self-
I don’t buy into 50th anniversa- Heisenberg joke? you have to end that respecting unless
the stereo- ry edition that No. But go ahead and ex- person’s life in a pretend he had some mi-
typical notions, tells The Next plain. fashion, like jabbing them nor electrical inci-
but I’ve been Generation of Dr. Heisenberg is driving down with a spoon. Thinking deep thoughs: dent. So, I found
a g e e k f ro m the Voyager. the road. A cop flips on his lights What do you Adam wears his “smartest” a paper clip and
birth. I’m sure We don’t have and pulls him over. The cop strolls do in your spare insulated it with
my first con- a coffee table up to Dr. Heisenberg’s window and time? one of the guards
scious thought at my place, says “Sir, do you have any idea I’m an avid reader. It can be you find on a pencil. I then jammed
was something but I have it how fast you were going?” And Dr. detrimental because I don’t have it into the electrical socket. After
nerdy. sitting on my Heisenberg replies “No, but I can tell any time. But I will read anyway. It’s all of the dust and small molten
Te l l m e dresser. That you exactly where I was.” all pretty much science fiction. The pieces of metal settled, the instruc-
something geeky about your- way, anyone who comes to the Why did you choose Mines? last book I read was called Ghost tor walked in. Nobody apart from
self. apartment can see it. I’m pretty After Brigades by John Scalzi. The book me and a couple others know that
I started watching Star Wars into Star Trek. Captain Jean-Luc I toured before the incident went down. However,
when I was six or seven years old. Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise is the cam- that was it later intrigued me to figure out
I used to go out to my parent’s car my favorite character. pus and the Third exactly how much energy had dis-
in the middle of the day and pretend Do you have any nick- had the Ly n x b y sipated into that particular paper
I was in a star fighting scene. I’d sit names? o p p o r- Timothy clip. The next day, I used basic
behind the steering wheel already “Smiley.” It’s my last name, so it tunity to talk to some of the grad Zahn. analysis techniques to determine
having the scenario plotted out just kind of fit. I suppose “Frownie” students, I realized its dedication What is your favorite elec- the exact amount. I calculated that
in my mind. The windshield was pops up occasionally. It’s mostly a to science, math and engineering. tronic device? somewhere in the order of 4,000
my shield and the air conditioning joke though because if you know That convinced me that it was the I went to the Borders book to 5,000 joules of energy was put
button was my ‘Engine On’ but- me, you know I don’t frown too place for me. I felt it was a place store and immediately spotted the through the paper clip in the short
ton. That’s pretty indicative of my much. I try to live up to my name where I could be a dork and it engineering reference section. A time it was in my possession.

CSM leadership conference stresses

personal goals, organizational structures
On campus group leaders learn more effective ways to lead
Tim Weilert
process. “We are not a reflective sentation, Serena Stickney of the of Morgan’s presentation were Marie Hornickle and ASCSM
Content Manager
culture in America; we have not Alumni Association presented the topics of officer transitions, Treasurer Jaimie Thorpe.
As the warm, crisp September been taught to think about our The day ended with a few
air floated through campus on thinking,” said Roberts. “Mental words from CSM President Miles
Saturday, some students slept models are the software inside “Bill” Scoggins. He reflected on
in. Others attended the football our heads and we’re just the rats his own career experiences,
game, and some studied. How- running the programs.” describing his journey through
ever, about 210 students, faculty, Roberts used audience inter- the oil industry. “While you may
alumni and representatives from actions in an attempt to expand think we’re an engineering and
industry gave up their chance common definitions of leadership science school, we’ve got our
for recreation to learn important beyond what most people have roots in leadership and manage-
lessons about leadership. thought through. At one point she ment areas.” Scoggins personal
Leaders from almost every asked the question, “Why don’t observations followed, along
student organization attended we tell the truth in organizations?” on “Building Trust and Gaining listening, communication, avoid- with his own “top ten” leadership
the first annual CSM Leadership Responses included personal and Commitment.” Similar to Roberts, ing excuses, alumni connections, characteristics.
Conference, a forum on the financial gain, fear of retribution Stickney emphasized the perpetu- recruitment, planning, advisor As a whole, the conference,
values of leadership, ethics and and embarrassment. al growth aspect of leadership and involvement, recognition, respect, which will likely become a Mines
professional discipline. As she closed her talk, she ethics. After sharing an anecdote and enthusiasm. tradition, was a success. Mines
The keynote speaker, Dr. Char- challenged the audience to find about Enron, she said, “The only Several breakout sessions fol- has long been known as a
lotte Roberts of Charlotte, North out where their leadership role way to really learn about integrity lowed during the afternoon. Topics university that prides itself in
Carolina, talked about “Leading was located. She emphasized that and ethics is to go through life ev- were more specialized and focused preparing engineers for a thriving
a Learning Organization.” She not all leadership styles are the ery day and make those choices. on two main groups: club leaders life after school. The conference
covered same and We don’t just learn from lectures.” and student managers. Club lead- reflected this idea and reached
s e v e r a l “We are not a reflective culture in s t r e s s e d Stickney presented the “Six Pillars ers went deeper into the ideas of further. Rather than just giving
aspects the im- of Ethics” from the Josephson systems thinking and mental mod- students technical knowledge,
of lead- America; we have not been taught p o r t a n c e Institute of Ethics, several case els, while CSM has
ership of find- studies and hypothetical ethics managers Mines has long been known as s h o w n
that she
to think about our thinking” ing where scenarios. learned that it is
learned someone fits into an organization. Derek Morgan, of the Student a b o u t a university that prides itself in an institu-
CSM’s fi-
in industry and has taught to
leadership teams within industry.
Dr. Roberts closed by saying, “My Activities Office, talked about stu-
preparing engineers for a thriving tion dedi-
cated to
personal definition for ‘Engaged dent organizations “Winning Gold
Among her points were five dis- Leadership’ is fulfilling your per- Medals.” He stressed the impor- policies life after school creating
ciplines that successful, learning sonal purpose in a spirited and tance of goals. “It could be win- and event w e l l -
organizations can use. Roberts caring way. Continuously develop ning a championship, recruiting 15 planning. Speakers included rounded students who will be
stressed the importance of indi- your leadership model and remain new members or anything. Just Dr. Roberts, CPA Kirsten Volpi, well equipped to thrive in their
vidual personal understanding true to yourself.” make sure you have goals that are ASCSM President Kevin Duffy, industries and communities.
of goals, structure, and thought Following Dr. Roberts’s pre- attainable.” Among the finer points Student Activities faculty member

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September 15, 2008 f e a t u r e s Page 5

McBride students visit Honduras

Reflections on an international experience
Autumn Triesch
also. We had food available for us of Honduras.
Staff Writer
whenever we wanted it. We had “When we first got to Hondu-
He steps off the airplane into the another woman who cleaned,” said ras, it was at night. We met our
night of another country. Not able Sabaka. bus driver who took us into the
to speak Spanish very well, he and This summer excursion was for city of Van Edesulla and drove us
five of his peers get on a bus to be a humanitarian engineering project. through the thick of a weeklong
shuttled to a house in Villanueva, The group of students worked on fiesta. It was interesting seeing all
Honduras. On the trip to their home educating children in Honduras on the people celebrating their culture.
for the next three weeks, CSM un- environmental sustainability. The first weekend we were there,
dergraduate Chris Sabaka realizes “We talked with schools in two we went to the Mayan ruins. The
he is finally there. The weeks of villages. We gave a presentation to second weekend, we went to
anticipation are over and the people the kids about water. Running water the beach. It was difficult getting
surrounding the bus as they drive is not common in the villages, so we around because only three of us
through the city are full of life. showed the kids how important it had a background in Spanish. Our
“I made the decision to go to was to not waste the running water bus driver for the trip did not speak COURTESY CHRIS SABAKA
Honduras in December of 2007. I they did get,” said Sabaka. one word of English. By the end Humpty-Dumpty Wanna-bes: Students rest on a wall in
attended seminars in the McBride Other projects completed on of the week, we had our own way Copan
Honor Program to learn about the their trip were making gardens and of communicating with him. He
culture of the historic Mayans and woven purses out of trash. even helped us out talking to other [Honduras] is one of the poor- schedule, but the people are not
present-day culture in Honduras,” “We took old tires and turned people to help translate what was est countries. There is so much lazy at all. They are very hardwork-
said Sabaka. them inside out to make gardens,” being said,” said Sabaka. poverty. It makes me wonder how ing people,” said Sabaka.
Preparing for a trip in a different said Sabaka. “We made 20 gardens It is recommended to know the some of these people could live like After the three weeks were over,
country takes several weeks of total for the schools we worked language of the other country when that. It has made me grateful for Sabaka returned to the airport to
planning. A passport, and in some with. Trash is a big problem in traveling. However, it is still possible what I have. This trip also changed fly back to the States with stories
cases a visa, is required. Honduras. It is everywhere. So to travel without any background. my perspective about the world. he will remember his whole life and
“I got my immunizations and for another project, we took the “When we needed to explain to Honduras is really laid-back. They photos and new friends to go along
passport. I was excited and anxious children out to collect chip bags, the students how to make the purs- do things different. It is not on a time with them.
for the trip. I had never gone farther like Frito Lays and Cheetos bags. es, we had to focus on one Spanish
than Mexico. I kept anticipating With the bags, we showed the word, like ‘fold,’ to explain how to
what I would see. I knew before students how to cut them and make it. It was difficult communicat-
I went that it was going to be an put the pieces together to make ing with the students; it took longer
exciting trip,” said Sabaka. a purse. We want the students to communicating with everyone in
After arriving in Villanueva, the think creatively when it comes to Honduras,” said Sabaka.
mayor rented a house for the six cleaning up and fixing the waste The language is not the only dif-
Mines students and their advisors problem... The kids made bracelets ference Sabaka noticed. The way
to stay in for the three weeks they and hats. It took us three days to the people of Honduras live, and
were there. weave a purse. It is hanging in the what they value, is different from
“We were really spoiled. We International Program Office now,” people in the United States. Seeing
had our own house. We had two said Sabaka. another culture expands views on
women who cooked us breakfast The projects were done during how people in other parts of the
and lunch. They cooked us dinner the week. The students had extra world live.
when we were there at that time time to explore more of the country “There is definitely a difference.

Communications Center
hones speaking skills
Consultants offer presentation tips to students
Roby Brost Speaking, Business and Profes- to acknowledge the technology of
Staff Writer sional Communication, Psychology communication in the twenty first
Communication, Argumentation century… we continue to evaluate
The art of communication has and Advocacy and has a Certificate programs and designs that would
always carried certain hazards that in English as a Second Language. be most useful and appropriate
leave even veteran public speakers Rose Pass, currently a professor for for CSM.”
a little short of breath, clutching a Nature and Human Values courses, Meanwhile, the Communica-
prepared speech in cold, clammy also offers her valuable services to tions Center is available to help
hands. Now, in the 21st century, help students “realize their public students develop speaking and
the multifaceted nature of com- speaking potential.” Several other presentation skills, which helps
munication, including the use individuals offer their time and sup- them avoid using multimedia, such
of multimedia in presentations, port to the Communications Center as PowerPoint, as a crutch.
has made public speaking more community. Room 410 of Stratton Hall also
daunting than ever. If the thought The center offers a variety of ser-offers a relaxed atmosphere in
of a public speaking brings out the vices, all aimed at enabling the Mineswhich students who wish to im-
desire to crawl under a convenient community to speak with confidence prove their mastery of the spoken
rock or hide behind a carefully and authority. Rose Pass summa- English language can converse
crafted PowerPoint, fear not; with other students with similar
the Communications Center “We can help you become a more goals. “Whether English is your
is here to help. first language or your fourth, the
Located way up in room successful, effective speaker” Communications Center is a
410 of Stratton Hall, the Com- valuable resource for feedback
munications Center is well worth rized the program simply when she on your presentation,” according to
the climb. Since professor John said, “We can help you become a professor John Leydens.
Hogan created it last year, the more successful, effective speaker. The Communications Center is
Communications Center has gath- That could mean anything from a open every Friday from one to five
ered a host of talented consultants better grade on a project to more in the evening. No appointment is
to help the Mines community confidence in a job interview, [and] necessary, and a scheduled weekly
become effective and successful even more career options. ” time is not required. Although the
public speakers. Although the program is still new Communications Center may be
This year, consultants for the to the Mines campus, the Commu- relatively new to Mines, its staff has
center include Sue Tyburski, who nications Center is already planning realized that the Mines community
has a background in law, literature for expansion. “We envision and is an intelligent lot. The center ex-
and the humanities, and Mary Van are planning to include writing, oral, pects growth to coincide with the
Zet, who has a master’s degree visual and electronic communication increasing number of students
from the University of Denver in assistance,” said Pass. “We hope to seeking to take advantage of a
Mass Communications and is have the capacity to offer more ser- great opportunity to speak with
a certified instructor of Public vices to the Mines community and excellence.

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Page 6 f e a t u r e s September 15,2008





Obama tickets
gone fast
David Frossard
work we’re doing here at Mines,”
said Scoggins. “I am proud we were
Obama campaign head-
quarters, Golden Ridge

Staff Advisor selected as the venue for this event,

Tickets for Senator Barack as it reflects our growing recognition
Obama’s surprise visit to Golden, as a leading, world-class research
scheduled to take place this morn- university.”
ing at CSM’s Lockridge Arena, Scoggins also noted that an
disappeared quickly as hundreds invitation had been extended to
queued for a chance to see the the McCain campaign, with whom
candidate in person. the school had talked earlier this
Lines for the free tickets started summer. At press time, Republican
forming at Obama’s Golden cam- vice-presidental candidate Sarah
paign headquarters in the cold, Palin was also scheduled to appear
pre-sunrise drizzle Sunday morn- in Golden Tuesday, at the Jefferson Even on a rainy morning vendors had
ing. By 10 a.m., when distribution County Fair Grounds. plenty of Obama shirts, hats, and but-
began, lines stretched around the tons ready for the enthusiastic crowd
parking lot of the El Tapatio restau-
rant on Golden Ridge Road.
Within half an hour, all tickets
were claimed, disappointing many
hundreds who added their names
to waiting lists. Tickets were re-
portedly snapped up at three other
distribution points in the Denver
metro area as well.
Campaign officials held out
hope that more tickets might be-
come available Monday. Alterna-
tively, said campaign staffers, the
sold-out event might be moved
to a larger venue within Jefferson
Mines President Bill Scoggins
said in an email that the school
Many waited for five hours in cold,
had reached an agreement to host
Lines stretched around the parking lot outside Obama campaign headquarters in drizzly conditions Sunday to snap
the event just last Friday. “Since
Golden. Hundreds more (including all in this photo) were turned away without tickets. All up a few hundred tickets distrib-
many national media represen-
tatives will cover the event, this those who successfully claimed tickets joined the line before 7:30 a.m uted in Golden for Senator Barack
is a tremendous opportunity to Obama’s Tuesday visit to the CSM
showcase our campus, students, campus
faculty and staff—and the exciting ALL PHOTOS COURTESY DAVID FROSSARD

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September 15, 2008 l i f e s t y l e Page 7

Essentials: Boxing Movies

Benjamin M. Weilert, Staff Writer

For some reason, most sports movies pale in comparison to the ones related to boxing. Perhaps
it’s the raw emotion and exertion that these warriors put into their fights. Perhaps it’s the age-old story
of an underdog overcoming the odds. Perhaps it’s that most of the stories are based on real people.
Whatever it is, these three films best portray the sport of boxing:
1. Raging Bull (1980)
Considered to be Martin Scorsese’s best film, Raging Bull chronicles the life of Jake La Motta
(portrayed by Robert DeNiro). Throughout the film, we watch Jake’s rise through the ranks of middle-
weight boxing. We also get a look into his tumultuous personal life, in conflict with his wife and brother.
Stylistically, this movie is beautiful, shot completely in black and white. Somehow, this style intensifies
the fights in the ring, producing some powerful fight sequences. Even with all his success, Jake ends
up working a nightclub, quoting Marlon Brando’s famous speech from On the Waterfront (1954). Re-
cently, Raging Bull rose to #4 of the American Film Institute’s top 100 movies of all time, which should
definitely put it on any must see list.
2. Rocky (1976)
With the exception of Rambo: First Blood (1982), this movie defines society’s perception of Sylvester
Stallone. Rocky Balboa (Stallone) is a relatively unknown boxer in Philadelphia who garners enough
attention to catch the eye of heavyweight champion Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers). Creed puts on an
exhibition match against the unknown Balboa (nicknamed “The Italian Stallion”) in which Creed figures
he is a shoo-in to win. Unfortunately for Apollo, Rocky does some intense training montage work, run-
ning up museum stairs, drinking raw eggs and punching meat locker goods. Throughout this movie,
the somewhat slow Rocky develops a relationship with shy Adrianna “Adrian” Pennino (Talia Shire).
After the big fight, she’s the only one he can think of, yelling out, “Yo, Adrian!” This classic underdog
story is a staple of AFI’s top 100 list, being currently placed at #57.
3. Cinderella Man (2005)
This Depression-era film tells the true story about Jim Braddock (portrayed by Russell Crowe). Di-
rected by Ron Howard, we can see a similar fight sequence style to that of Raging Bull (perhaps as a
tribute). Despite being somewhat washed up, Jim works his way up the ranks of boxing because he
has a greater motivation: to feed his family. The poor and huddled masses can’t help but idolize
Braddock as their hero, as someone who can overcome their circumstances and prove to be
successful. The Depression was so hard on Braddock that the audience can’t help but root
for him to win the big match at Madison Square Garden. Ron Howard’s skill in building
suspense and emotion will have you on the edge of your seat and your heart in your
throat for most of this great film.
For Homework – See Million Dollar Baby (2004)

Acoustic indie charms library Baron of laughs

Mine Is Clarence reveals rock band challenges Baron Vaughn brings comedy
Patrick Beseda out and I thought I would write
songs are about wanting to be in a
Staff Writer
being in a band,” he said.
some good songs and people will
rock band or being frustrated with
like us just because we play good
to the Friday Afternoon Club
Jordan Revielle, of the local songs.”
Revielle played through some
indie rock group Mine Is Clarence, He later found out that success
of the band’s older songs, dating Michael Rose
the end of the show, even more
gave a small group of listeners a would take more. “If you don’t tell
back three years to the first song he Staff Writer
controversial topics were under his
solo acoustic show in the Arthur people about your band and ad-
wrote. “At first, we had just started Comedian Baron Vaughn put darkly humorous spotlight.
Lakes Library on Friday vertise your shows and on a sidesplitting show at the Fri- The atmosphere of FAC was
afternoon; this marked the play more shows, peo- day Afternoon Club (FAC), which fun and casual. It was more
group’s second appear- ple won’t know you,” left everyone laughing and want- reminiscent of a group of friends
ance in the Concert in the Revielle said. He told ing more. getting together for laugh, rather
Library series. the audience about the Vaughn is an actor and co- than a formal performance by a
Claiming bands like ‘early days’ of the band; median living in New York City, famous comedian. The audience,
Saves the Day, Death Cab “It got frustrating – we where he tours around composed of Mines stu-
for Cutie and Weezer as were a good band and the country perform- dents, was not afraid
influences, Revielle pos- nobody noticed.” ing stand-up com- of contributing to
sesses great acoustical Whether their con- Vaughn’s
edy. Among his the show by ask-
skills, as well as vocals that flicts are resolved or the
complement his playing
many screen very real, ing questions
band members go their performances and making
style. “He had some really separate ways, Mine are appear- close-to-reality comments.
soulful songs and played is Clarence has cre- ances on Though many
really well, but it seemed ated some heartfelt and VH1, Com- jokes, well-timed beat comments
like something else was on meaningful music. In edy Central resulted in
his mind,” said sophomore the last song he played, and the boxing and discussion of ridicule, they
Liz Kirby. “He seemed a Revielle sang, “I wrote Hollywood were able to
little jaded.” some catchy pop tunes, movie Clo-
modern issues made his return the fa-
Things were different in hopes you’d dance verfield. His vor and keep
for the band since the last around.” He concluded performance soar in
most recent Baron coming
time Mines hosted them. the set with reassuring tour is taking back for more.
Revielle’s solo appearance lyrics; “It will work out
the eyes of many
him to college To w a r d s t h e
was the result of missing fine.” To hear the band,
guitarist and vocalist Matt.
campuses around attendees. end, the students
visit them on the internet the country. seemed to be run-
“Matt may be having at http://www.myspace. His fear of small ning the show and it
second thoughts about the com/mineisclarence. dogs and admission to ran several minutes over
band,” Jordan said before The Concert in the eating skittle burritos helped prove schedule.
he started. He opened Library series features Vaughn to be a talented comedian To many, participating in a
with a piece called “Built musicians every other that knew how to work a crowd. stand-up comedy show is much
to Last” and commented Friday at noon in the Vaughn’s very real, close-to-reality more entertaining than watching
that is was a song about PATRICK BESEDA / OREDIGGER Boettcher room. The jokes, well-timed beat boxing and YouTube videos in the deep, dark
quitting a rock band. Re- next concert will be The discussion of modern issues recesses of a dorm room; free
vielle later commented on Solo promo. Jordan Revielle of Mine Is Clar- Voice of the Wood Cello made his performance soar in food and drinks are available at
the type of songs he has ence explained sources of inspiration. Quartet on September the eyes of many attendees. By each performance.
written. “Almost all of my 26th.

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Page 8 l i f e s t y l e September 15,2008

Music Review
Narrow Stairs, Death Cab for Cutie
Tim Weilert
Bringing in
the harvest
Content Manager
Last spring, as the days began
to grow longer and thoughts of
warmer days occupied students’ helps play
minds, an album was released.
Even before its release, Narrow
out the
imagery and storyline.
A review of Blue Moon Seasonal Ale, Harvest Moon
Stairs had generated a decent Song to Skip: drinkability, which adds to the sub-
Akira Rattenbury deep amber, copper orange color
amount of publicity. When the disc The first four minutes of “I Will tle, yet present flavors of the beer.
Staff Writer is reminiscent of a Killian’s Irish Red
finally dropped, it was not quite Possess Your Heart.” Building to- “Initial taste is good,” commented
ale, but brings a host of new and
what many people expected. ward something epic is great, but As a 2008 inaugural sampling Alec Anderson, a rugby player and
exciting flavors to the table. The
Background: after two minutes of listening to the of Golden’s offerings into the select senior at CSM. “It releases the flavor
Harvest Moon, a watered-down re-
Death Cab for Cutie, a Seattle same bass riff the song becomes beer market, Blue Moon’s Harvest in your mouth, but I don’t need an
incarnation of Blue Moon’s Pumpkin
band that has been creating music dry. The lyrics are catchy, but de- Moon delivers where other mass- orange.”
Ale, brings a lively mass-produced
for the better part of the last ten pend too much on repetition. By produced seasonals fail. The dis- The Harvest harbors a slightly
edge to the typical microbrew smor-
years, began small, but has since the end of the song the listener is tinct aftertaste and pleasing color acidic fragrance and taste. It offers
gasbord of seasonings. Coriander,
grown in standing and sound. The ready for the next track. give the ale a desired finish. Molson a light dose of pumpkin to tease
reminiscent of its big brother, the
first mainstream success Death Final Thoughts: Coors claims the ale is a “full bod- the senses. The beer can be bitter,
Blue Moon “white ale,” brings a
Cab for Cutie saw was their 2003 The first time listening to this ied” ale made “with the flavor of vine and several tests confirm different
punch to the mix. Combined with
album Transatlanticism, followed record, do not expect it to be Plans ripened pumpkin,” hinting to bolder batches properly mix the sweet
typical autumn seasonings such as
two years later by the even more 2: The Electric Boogaloo. While forays into the fruit-flavored beer and spice with the forgiving taste
nutmeg, cloves, allspice, and cin-
popular album Plans. Plans had an almost perfect and variety. Seeking the perfect blend of of a Blue Moon. The slight bitter
namon, the Harvest hosts a unique
Those records did more for the surgical attention to detail, Narrow sweet and spice, the Harvest falls can almost give way to a woody
twist on a fall brew.
band than simply providing extra Stairs is more of an exploration of squarely in the sweet tooth arena of aftertaste. The affordability of the
The beer hits initially with fra-
money or even allowing them to sound. The lyrics are poetic and seasonal offerings. beer allows its spice, but recovers
grant spices and entices a charm of
sell out venues across the globe. the overall sound is warm and The beer aims to please the likes with the sweet and almost watery
comfort when enjoyed on an over-
Ben Gibbard, Death Cab for Cutie deep. On some tracks (“Grapevine of discriminating tastes while not taste.
cast fall day. It does not encapsulate
front man and lyricist, became the Fires” and “Your New Twin Sized clashing with the natural sentiments It does not overcompensate
a Colorado feel, but is worth a try.
indie-rock equivalent of Jack Kerou- Bed”), Narrow Stairs will cause the of a smooth finish enjoyment. Initial for its seasonal offering by being
Whether sampled at Coors lab or by
vac. At the same time, Chris Walla, listener to think of a dreamy, warm fragrance is mute, but an efferves- excessively bold or overpowering.
the bottle, Harvest Moon refreshes
Death Cab’s lead guitarist and summertime afternoon while other cence of the carbonation gives a The light finish and complimentary
the palate with a soothing dose of
multi-instrumentalist, branched out tracks (“The Ice Is Getting Thinner” familiar feel to the Coors-brewed flavors give the beer an even four-
bitter malt. When poured, the beer
into the world of production and has and “Talking Bird”) are slightly more beer. The finish really entices a out-of-five for overall enjoyment.
offers a moderate head of quickly
been behind the scenes on some chilling. Fortunately for Death Cab, drinker to another sip to discern dissipating carbonation, which lin-
of the top indie records produced they have not let their mainstream what spices are at play. gers throughout the glass.
in the last five years. successes dictate their sound, so The beer sure is charming. The Hesitant samplers noted the
Best Song: they still have credibility as musical
“Cath…” is the best representa- artists. Overall, it is not the type of
tion of the current Death Cab sound. record that can be taken in pieces,
Catchy guitar riffs and a good dose but must be listened to as an entire

Movie Reviews
of percussion keep this song from composition.
dragging. The track has a warm feel
and an excellent music video which

Righteous Kill Burn After Reading Burn After Reading

Doyle Adams Erin Stephens The second plot line emerges Benjamin M. Weilert to try and sell the information.
Staff Writer Staff Writer when Hardbody gym employees Staff Writer As this is going on, Linda is trying
Chad (Pitt) and Linda (McDormand) to find a way to pay for cosmetic
Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino are As the follow up film to Joel and encounter a disc with seemingly One year after their Academy surgery while also dating Harry
responsible for some of the great- Ethan Coen’s No Country for Old classified information and attempt Award-winning movie, No Country Pfarrer (whom she met online).
est gangster, heist and mob flicks Men, Burn After Reading takes a to collect a reward from the Coxes. for Old Men, the Coen brothers Harry, who is currently married
of all time. No argument there. This satirically dark twist which features The innocence in Pitt’s character, are back to present a slightly more to a children’s book author, is a
leads one to inquire – have they ever a cast with both history and A-list in combination with the single- comedic flick. Some of the charm of retired bodyguard who has never
let us down before? Unfortunately, standings. minded vanity of McDormand’s, this movie comes from the actors. killed anyone. So, at this point,
there is a first time for everything. Introduced in a combination of allows for extremely comical lines Most of them are playing parts well everyone is cheating on everyone
Skeptical since the film was not ex- story lines that twine in the most in the script. below their normal charisma lev- else, and divorce papers are flying.
cessively publicized, I paid to see the random fashion imaginable, the The Coxes’ world and the Har- els, which leads to some To find more informa-
pair in a movie I knew nothing about. United States Central Intelligence body gym collide in a twist of mis- realistic characters. tion for the Russians,
The plot
The story begins with two seasoned Agency plays the role of an innocent understandings and misrepresenta- You can definitely Chad breaks
detectives and long-time partners bystander to the confusion. Ironi- tion. The film is slightly reminiscent tell they enjoyed definitely felt like a campy into Osborne’s
who lose faith in the justice system cally, the intelligence gathered on of one of Shakespeare’s comedies, themselves house and
and take matters into their own hands. the situation leads to no intelligent where none of the characters’ mo- working on soap opera at times, and it e n c o u n t e r s
Not a bad start, I thought, until understanding of the motives of any tives make sense to the others. this project, a little snag
Curtis Jackson, better known as “50 of the participants. The CIA superior Chad is by far the most memo- which is ex- lacked structure past the in the plan.
Cent,” makes a cameo in the first 10 fittingly concludes, “Report back to rable and lovable character of the hibited well The situation
minutes, struggling to pronounce his me when it makes sense.” bunch, even with his simpleton flaw. in the trailers. bumbling of blackmailing quickly gets out
lines. From there, the film went downhill. The opening scenes take a Pitt has reinvented his acting with That being said, of control after
We are then given glimpses of a sweeping leap from the normal random dances to his headset and it’s still dark comedy. gym trainers. two people are killed
confession tape made by one of the standards of comedy into the realm an insatiable need for hydration. Osborne Cox and no one wants the
detectives. For two hours, we see of chaos, when Osborne Cox (Malk- Although Pitt and Clooney only (played by John Malkovich) is useless information on the CD.
segments of the tape followed by ovich) is unceremoniously fired from appear in one scene together, the an analyst for the CIA who quits If you get lost during the movie, the
respective flashbacks of each crime. the CIA. Although offered a lower history built from the Ocean’s trilogy after being demoted at work. His CIA superior (J.K. Simmons) wraps
From there, we pick up in the film in ranking position, Cox quits in a flurry remains. wife, Katie Cox (Tilda Swinton), everything up for you in a nice little
present time with zero shockers and of vulgarities. Burn After Reading, though has been cheating on him for some package at the end of the film.
15 minutes remaining to end the story. When Osborne decides he will bearing little resemblance to its time with Harry Pfarrer (George Needless to say, most of the fun-
Needless to say, the ending seemed take revenge on the agency by knee-slapping commercials, is Clooney). In order to help her fi- ny material of this movie is shown in
rushed and terribly predictable. alternating drinking with the writing hilarious in its own right. The Coen nances after she divorces Osborne, the trailer. The plot definitely felt like
Dare I use the word mediocre to of a memoir, his wife, Katie Cox brothers pace the film in such a Mrs. Cox copies many of her hus- a campy soap opera at times, and it
describe Righteous Kill? After all, (Swinton), decides it is time for a way that the characters have few band’s sensitive files onto a CD. lacked structure past the bumbling
we’re talking about Jimmy Conway divorce. The scene thickens when chances to explain or justify their However, the CD is lost at of blackmailing gym trainers. If you
and Tony Montana. Each had their Katie attempts to corner her lover, actions to anyone but themselves. a local gym where Linda Lilzke can’t stand somewhat complex
moments, but overall I couldn’t be- Harry Pfarrer (Clooney); Pfarrer’s The directors knew what they (Frances McDormand) and Chad plots and the quintessential Coen
lieve them. They lacked enthusiasm wife is, ironically, the author of chil- were doing when they casted the Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) work as brothers’ senseless violence, you
as if they were as bored with the dren’s novels. “World’s Sexiest Men” into roles of personal trainers. They must have might want to stick to renting this
story as I was. That said, watching Revealing both the human and philanderer and the stereotypical been raised on Cold War spy nov- film. Otherwise, perhaps wait until
DeNiro kick “50 Cent” is easily worth animal sides of the character, Cloo- muscled gym instructor. els, because after reading some it hits the cheap-seats theater.
the dollar Red Box rental this spring. ney effectively plays the role of phi- An interesting, yet dark, addition of the contents on the disk, they Burn After Reading is 1 hour,
I would be lying if I gave a passing landerer. As a former U.S. Marshal, to the 2008 movie lineup, Burn decide this type of information can 37 minutes long and rated R for
grade. Sadly, Righteous Kill has all Pfarrer is proud to have never fired After Reading is a rare mixture of be used for blackmailing. After try- violence, language and sexual con-
the symptoms of a Mines PRG: lazy, his gun, yet seeks every opportunity irony and mayhem. ing to get a reward out of Osborne, tent. My rating: 3 ½ stars out of 5.
last minute, and without recognition. to discharge a weapon. they turn to the Russian embassy

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September 15, 2008 o p i n i o n Page 9

Andrew Aschenbrenner
Opinion Columnist
Palin in Comparison
There is no doubt that Republi- something that is rare in today’s me- She showed her lack of knowl- ters to turn this project or any other eventually fired most of them, ac-
can vice-presidential nominee Gov. dia atmosphere. So, instead come edge on foreign policy in her first into something that’s so negative.” cording to a Time Magazine article.
Sarah Palin of Alaska has taken over stories about mislabeled quotes interview with ABC’s Charles Gib- Information from the Tax Foun- She brought national wedge issues
the political scene. The past two (Obama’s comment of lipstick on son on Thursday, which is the only dation (www.taxfoundation.org) to a local campaign, and divided the
weeks have been all Palin, all the a pig), Palin’s MILF status, hockey time she has talked to the press shows that small town.
time. Now, the attention seized by moms, and pregnant teenagers. since she was named the nominee A l a s k a r e - Palin obviously has ambition, Forget the
Palin mania is threatening to trivial- Seriously? for vice president. How can the ceived $1.84 media circus
ize this election season. Allegations fly around on the country decide if Palin is qualified if from the gov- but she has also consistently and the alle-
The me- she never talks to the media? How
dia circus is
Sarah Palin has brought out the Internet, and
sifting through dare the McCain campaign criticize
ernment for
every dollar warped her positions and her w a t c h t h e
gations. Just

understand- crowds for John McCain and them all is not the press for vetting Palin? Isn’t the in taxes paid campaign.
able, con- easy. Sources press allowed to do its job? in 2005, the campaigning to fit what was What really irks
sidering how energized the GOP’s conserva- like the Associ- The McCain campaign has most recent me is the bla-
unknown na- ated Press and made some untested claims about year of data.
politically expedient
tant lies and
tionally Palin tive and evangelical base Factcheck.org Palin, including one about how The state also distortions.
was before are helpful in she has fought earmarks. The evi- ranks first in federal spending per What bothers me is the diversion
being named as John McCain’s run- order to make intelligent conclu- dence points to the opposite truth. resident. This contrasts with the from the issues. What annoys me
ning mate. It’s also plainly seen that sions. Assertions that she de- The state where she is Governor, state’s status as having the lowest is the flippancy and the trivializing of
there have been quite a few issues manded books be banned from Alaska, received $155 million in state and local tax burden in the facts. What troubles me is what the
raised about Palin’s experience, the Wasilla, Alaska library when she federal earmark money in 2008, nation. selection of Sarah Palin says about
beliefs, and even her integrity. was mayor there are false, and she which equates to $231 per resident At first, I thought Sarah Palin John McCain.
She has caught flak on many never pushed for teaching creation- – more than any other state. was a good pick for John McCain. I don’t care who you vote for. If
fronts. Her claim in her stump ism in Alaska schools, contrary to Palin appears to be no fiscal She has a reputation for getting you want to vote for McCain, go for
speeches that she “told Congress some reports. conservative. She supported and things done, and has consistently it. Same for Obama, and Barr, and
thanks, but no thanks” on the Bridge Sarah Palin has brought out the welcomed the “Bridge to No- defied expectations. However, once Nader, and McKinney, and whoever
to Nowhere has been exposed as a crowds for John McCain and ener- where” before it became clear that I looked at the record, I saw just else might be on the presidential
lie, or at best, a distortion. The re- gized the GOP’s conservative and it wouldn’t be awarded. After the another politician. Palin obviously ballot. But do me a favor: be in-
peated assertions by John McCain evangelical base. Despite this, there bridge option fell through, Congress has ambition, but she has also con- formed. You owe your country. Look
that she never has sought federal are major red flags concerning her still offered Alaska the money, which sistently warped her positions and hard at the candidates.
earmark money as Governor of record and she accept- her campaigning to fit what was People like Sarah Palin are
Alaska are false. Palin is also under her qualifica- How can the country decide if ed. In fact, politically expedient. definitely new and different. That’s
investigation in Alaska regarding tions. What even after Her history as mayor of Wasilla great. Now look behind the fa-
possible illegal influence in the firing m a k e s h e r Palin is qualified if she never it had been concerns me. While she didn’t cade. Is there any substance? If I
of an Alaska state trooper. ready to be nationally demand that books be banned, compare the presidential tickets,
Looking hard at a candidate, vice presi-
talks to the media? maligned as as was previously noted, she did I don’t see Sarah Palin and John
especially one in the public eye, dent? I fear an example inquire about the issue. When she McCain representing anything
requires patience and dedicated for our nation the day this woman of government pork, she said that took office, she placed a gag order new. To me, McCain-Palin pales in
reporting. Unfortunately, this is has to talk to world leaders. she would “not allow the spinmeis- on the city department heads and comparison.

Political “Real Speak” The Oredigger cuts through political

spin to find the real story
Matthew Pusard
However, there was fluctuation in words, but it still thought-provok- calling it a sexist remark towards (D-DE) is one of the least
Content Manager that total over the years. For ex- wealthy US senators
ing nonetheless. Palin, citing that Palin used a line
Do you know how to tell if a ample, McCain and Bush agreed False-Governor Sarah Palin about lipstick and pit bulls at her M c C l a t c h y N e w s p a p e r s 10
politician is lying to you? There is just 77% of the time in 2005 and (R-AK) was always against the Republican National Convention states that Joe Biden’s recently
an easy test for this. Are his lips as much as 95% of the time in Bridge to Nowhere speech. But, according to the Chi- released his tax returns and his
moving? 2007. Since Obama is trying to To paraphrase John Kerry, Pa- cago Tribune 7 , family ranks as
This is a blanket generalization, paint a McCain presidency as lin was for the Bridge to Nowhere McCain himself one of the least
but the point remains that the a third term of Bush, this fact before she was against it. In her has previously wealthy senators.
political realm is often full of half- strengthens his case. RNC speech, she stated that she used the same In a campaign in
truths, misleading statements, True- Governor Palin stated said, “Thanks, but no thanks” to line to refer to which each side
and, sometimes, bold-faced lies. that she was proud of her the $400 million bridge to an island the reforms is trying to paint
The following are eight recent daughter’s “decision” to have with a population of 50. However, made by Sen. the other as out
statements and issues, four about her baby according to Polifact.com 5, she Hillary Clinton. of touch or elitist,
each presidential campaign, which In an odd de- was for it during False- Sena- this fact could
I researched for validity. Read velopment to the her campaign tor Obama will h e l p B i d e n ’s
closely because some things are campaign, the f o r g o v e r n o r. raise taxes on perception as an
technically true, but context af- media revealed Ultimately, the everyone everyman, along
fects them drastically. B r i s t o l P a l i n ’s bridge project Many demo- LILY GIDDINGS/OREDIGGER
with his long
McCain/Palin: pregnancy a few was cancelled cratic candi- commutes back
True – Senator John McCain scant days af- by Palin, but dates are branded with the “tax- home at night to be with his fam-
(R-AZ) said that the economy ter her mother’s Alaska had al- and-spend liberal” tag, but it isn’t ily. That being said, he still made
was not his strong suit selection as Mc- ready received always necessarily true. Barack $319,853 last year, enough to
One of Obama’s most recent Cain’s running the funding for it Obama’s website claims that meet Obama’s own upper class
attack ads depicts John McCain mate. Whether or and never gave Obama will lower taxes for 95% of definition.
as being weak on the economy. not it is relevant, it back. the population and has published False-Senator Obama wants
According to Polifact.com1, Mc- her mother’s re- Obama/Biden: a comprehensive tax plan detail- to teach comprehensive sex
Cain has admitted to not being as sponse to the revelation is note- Tr u e – S e n a t o r B a r a c k ing it8. His loftiest claim is that no education to kindergarteners
strong on the economy. However, worthy. According to Fox News3, Obama (D-IL) said, “You can family making under $250,000 will This claim off of a recent Mc-
he also stated that while he is not a statement from Palin said that put lipstick on a pig, but it’s see their taxes increase. This con- Cain attack ad greatly distorts
as strong on the economy, he is the family would give her love and still a pig” trasts with John McCain’s plan, reality. According to factcheck.
still knowledgeable about it. support and she lauded Bristol’s The full line, according to Polit- which lowers taxes for everyone, org11, this smear originates from
True - Senator McCain has “decision”. It is a curious state- ico.com6, is, “You can put lipstick but to a lesser degree for incomes a bill in the Illinois Senate that
voted with George W. Bush ment considering that Gov. Palin on a pig. It’s still a pig. You can of $112,000 and below9. would allow age-appropriate sex
90% of the time is staunchly pro-life 4. Why does wrap an old fish in a piece of paper True-Senator Joe Biden education from K-12 schools to, in
Obama’s claim from his accep- Bristol get a choice, but Sarah called change. It’s still gonna stink. part, combat pedophiles. But the
tance speech at the Democratic opposes that right for others? It We’ve had enough of the same 7 http://www.chica- bill did not pass and Obama was
National Convention was spot could simply be a poor choice of old thing.” Obama has received gotribune.com/news/nation- not a sponsor of the bill.
on, according to Media Matters2. flak from the McCain campaign, world/chi-campaign-lipstick-
3 http://www.foxnews. sep11,0,2295346.story 10 http://news.yahoo.
1 http://www.politifact. com/wires/2008Sep01/0,4670,C 5 http://politifact.com/ 8 http://www.baracko- com/s/mcclatchy/20080912/
com/truth-o-meter/state- VNPalinDaughter,00.html truth-o-meter/statements/680/ bama.com/pdf/taxes/Factsheet_ pl_mcclatchy/3043684
ments/333/ 4 http://civilliberty. 6 http://www.politico. Tax_Plan_FINAL.pdf 11 http://www.factcheck.
2 http://mediamatters. about.com/od/profiles/p/sarah_ com/blogs/bensmith/0908/ 9 http://www.snopes. org/elections-2008/off_base_
org/items/200808270008 palin.htm Obama_Lipstick_on_a_pig.html com/politics/obama/taxes.asp on_sex_ed.html
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Page 10 s p o r t s September 15, 2008

Men’s soccer team ranked 2 in Central Region nd

Elise Goggin ready to play.” after a double overtime.

Staff Writer Unfortunately, the spark that had After the tie with Re-
ignited against Midwestern couldn’t gis, CSM’s overall record
In the last two weeks, the Colo- be found the next night against #14, was 2-1-1. Their second
rado School of Mines Men’s Soccer West Texas A&M. The team came RMAC match was on Sun-
Team made the NSCAA/Adidas Di- out flat, and the result was a 2-0 day when they faced off
vision II Top 25 Poll coming in at #16 loss that left them with a little more against rival Metro State.
in the nation and were also ranked humility. Captain Cameron Brown Metro State won, 2-1,
second in the Central Region. This said, “We just didn’t bring it.” And changing the overall record
is a tremendous accomplishment, as one might imagine, he also noted to 2-2-1.
and it left the boys with some pretty that “the bus ride home wasn’t very So far the season has
big shoes to fill. fun.” been somewhat of a roll-
T h e y s h o w e d The men are confident On last Friday ercoaster. Unfortunately
that they were up night, the Ore- this is exactly what Coach
for the challenge
that they will be a tough diggers started Kohlenstein wanted to
two weekends off conference avoid. Last season was
team to beat.
ago when they play in a match full of ups and downs,
upset the number two team in the against Regis University. Coach but this season he would
nation, Midwestern State (TX). In Kohlenstein wanted to “take care like his team to “get on a
the first half, the CSM defense of the business that [they] didn’t plateau and stay up there,
controlled the game, only allowing take care of last week,” but the or if anything, keep on ris-
Midwestern one shot on goal. With men came up a little short. Under ing up.” To accomplish this
five minutes to go in the half, senior the lights at Mines’s home field, goal, “the team needs to
midfielder Grant Manthey found the Regis was the first to score in the be ready to play mentally,
back of the net, putting the Oredig- 81 st minute of the game, but it emotionally, and physical-
gers in the lead. In the second half, didn’t take long for CSM to catch ly,” said Cameron Brown.
Midwestern was able to tie it up, up. Sophomore defender Jacob The RMAC is an extremely
but freshman midfielder Chike Sul- Juette scored on an assist by junior strong soccer conference,
livan’s goal in the 86th minute put midfielder John Moseley just one but the men are confident
Mine’s back on top, and the game minute later, bringing the frozen fans that they will be a tough
ended 2-1. Coach Frank Kohlen- to their feet. Unfortunately, neither team to beat.
stein credits the win to the team’s team was able to find the net again They are one of the
hard work and said, “We came out and the game ended in a 1-1 tie most successful athletic
programs at CSM and
they know what they need

Broncos one of to do to get the job done.

Make sure to get out and
see the Men’s soccer team
play this season because

few teams looking

this team is going to the
top and they plan on stay-
ing there.
shacole newby / oredigger

strong in AFC
Matthew Pusard Raiders were that bad. The Raid-
Content Manager ers have been a dysfunctional
team since 2003, posting a 19-
It took one week for the entire 62 record since 2003. But that
AFC to turn upside down. means they have gotten some of
The Patriots lost reigning MVP the best picks in the draft since
Tom Brady to an ACL and MCL then, including JaMarcus Russell
tear for the entire season. and Darren McFadden in the past
The Colts lost to an offense- two years. Yet their best position
less Bears team while their own of- is cornerback, with Pro Bowlers
fense looked old and banged up. Nnamdi Asomugha and DeAn-
The Chargers lost a close gelo Hall leading the way. For the
game to the Panthers and then Broncos passing game to make
lost Shawne Merriman for the them look foolish lends credibility
season. to the team, even if the rest of the
Just like that, the three stron- Raiders squad is subpar.
gest forces in the AFC had gigan- Regardless of the outcome of
tic question marks surrounding the week 2 San Diego game, the
them, promising to make it a very Broncos are looking at a much
interesting season. That opened easier schedule due to injuries.
the door for a surprisingly potent The Patriots without Brady will
Denver Broncos team. play the Broncos in week 7 and
It was only one week, but the the Broncos play San Diego again
Broncos offense looked like the in week 17. Jacksonville also looks
most potent in the league. Jay less potent than last year after a
Cutler and rookie wide receiver low-scoring loss to the Tennessee
Eddie Royal cut up the Oakland Titans. Before, those looked like
Raiders for 41 points. Royal, who unwinnable matchups, but hurt
has earned the moniker of “Mr. and underachieving superstars
Clean” from his teammates for have leveled the playing field.
his straight-laced personality and Emerging stars on the Broncos
impeccable integrity, posted the have leveled the playing field as
sixth-best NFL debut for a wide well. With Royal’s breakout, teams
receiver with 146 yards receiv- will be less inclined to double-
ing, behind the NFL-record 217 cover Brandon Marshall and that
yards Anquan Boldin posted in will lead to some touchdowns be-
2003. Cutler also impressed with cause of Marshall’s incredible size
his 299 yards with 2 TDs, leading and speed. Combined with the
to a 137.5 QB rating, second- still-improving Cutler, the Broncos
best in week 1. What makes it all offense could echo that of last
the more impressive is that the year’s Colts or Saints. It’s too soon
Broncos were without starting to tell on the defense, although
wideout Brandon Marshall due to the unit shut out the Raiders for
a suspension. 3 quarters, but if nothing else,
The question is whether the the Broncos will be competitive
Broncos are that good or the in 2008.
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September 15, 2008 s a t i r e Page 11

Truth behind Genius Juice sudoku

Student secretions revealed as the secret 8 1 6 3
Benjamin M. Weilert
1 5
Mines students. all too familiar to Mines students.
Sweatpants Enthusiast Tenured student, I.B. Faylen The most astonishing result were the
commented on the mysterious prop- mice that drank Genius Juice and
With its appearance a few years
ago, Genius Juice has been a
erties of the drink, “After every test
I’ve taken, I feel as though I’ve lost
raised their IQ’s by an average of 23
points, making the mice as smart as 8 4 5 7
3 5 7 1
healthy alternative to soft drinks some of my intelligence. However, Alaskan salmon. These same mice,
offered at free food functions. Many when I drink Genius Juice before an unfortunately, acquired side-effects
people have assumed the bottled exam, I don’t feel as though I’ve lost including acne, alcoholism, sensi-

1 7 2
water was produced the same way as much of my brain.” This observa- tivity to ultraviolet light, fear of the
that all other bottled waters are: a tion led to testing. opposite sex, and the uncontrollable
garden hose. Unfortunately, the truth
7 4 9 6
Using laboratory mice, the side urge to curl into a fetal position in the
behind Genius Juice is much more effects of Genius Juice were ex- darkest corner of the cage.
disturbing. amined. Compared to the control, The lead scientist of the inves-

3 1 7 8
Each week, Mines students of mice who regularly drank Genius tigation commented, “These are
various disciplines and backgrounds Juice exhibited symptoms that are amazing results, but what I find most
take strenuous exams to test their
6 3
interesting are the statistics on the
knowledge of the subject matter at decomposition of the fluid.” Certain
hand. Understandable byproducts exams will provide more stress

7 2 1 5
of these exams are the sweat and for students, and thus make for a
tears of the students. Collected and larger percentage of the collected
bottled, this is the basis on which secretions. “Chemistry is the lead
Genius Juice is made. Puzzle by websudoku.com
producer at 28%, followed closely
“Most students don’t realize by Physics at 23% and Physical
that every room on campus slants
towards one corner,” says Genius
Activity at 20%.” The least amount of solution
product came from the Liberal Arts
Juice creator, Brian Frieze. “During 6 2
department, with a total combined 4 8 1 9 3 7 5
every test, the students’ secretions contribution of 9%.
make their way to a drain in the 3 6 2 4 8 5 9 7 1
Little has been said about mar-
corner of the room. All of these 7 9 5 1 6 2 8 3 4
keting Genius Juice as a temporary
drippings are then collected and intelligence booster, but the idea has 2 3 7 8 5 4 6 1 9
processed into Genius Juice.” In been explored. Plans are underway 1 4 8 3 9 6 7 2 5
order to hide the salty origins of the to install vending machines with 6 5 9 2 7 1 4 8 3
drink, the collected fluids must be Genius Juice at both the University
processed through many stages 9 7 6 5 1 3 2 4 8
of Colorado at Boulder and Colo-
including desalinization, homogeni- BENJAMIN M. WEILERT / OREDIGGER
rado State University campuses. 5 2 3 6 4 8 1 9 7
zation, ionization, and purification. Genius Juice. Not an ad- CU and CSU refused to comment 8 1 4 7 2 9 3 5 6 COURTESY MINES ATHLETICS
The resulting concoction is the con- equate source of good on whether they would accept the
Puzzle by websudoku.com
Jeff Duggan. The military
centrated anguish and frustration of English skills machines. wants its haircut back.

Hollywood will only Big man on campus

Mike Stone Mines Band and the announcer’s

produce B-movies Sports Enthusiast booth. “I let everyone get a chance

to do their thing. I just need a
Roaring past Western New little nod if it’s their turn to go.”
Mexico on Saturday afternoon, the From AC/DC and Journey to
Tim Weilert convict hired by writer’s unions to Orediggers football team won their Kanye West and Disturbed, Dave
Writer of the Living Dead pitch the new idea to me. He really third game of the season 35-28. plays whatever the crowd needs to
gave a convincing presentation.” Somewhere within the student stay alive for the players on the field.
In a move that shocked thou- Another factor that played into section, speakers blasted pump-up Given the unmonitored nature of the
sands, and caused others to the change was money. Studios, and crowd-pleasing music for all to music, Jeff Duggan has to make
grunt, growl and shuffle about in an attempt to cut costs, hired hear. Students jumped, stomped, sure there is nothing offensive in the
the streets, vampires, kill- clapped, and content. “We’ve
CEOs from B-movie purists... claim that er robots and laughed to every “I let everyone get a got grandparents
every single space invaders song and movie and little kids in
Hollywood this has been just another to eat, discom- quote that played chance to do their thing. the stands, so
production as Jeff Duggan the last thing
agency an-
studio attempt to make more bobulate and
abduct popular clapped himself. I just need a little nod if we need is foul
n o u n c e d money at the cost of film Hollywood ce- The Sports In- language,” ex-
formation Direc- it’s their turn to go.” plained Duggan.

tha t t h ey lebrities. “One

tor (SID) for Mines Dave retort-
will no lon- integrity. of the big costs
Varsity Athletics, Jeff marks his fifth ed, “I don’t play anything [exple-
ger create in shooting a
full feature films. The univer- feature length production these year as SID at Mines. With a great tive deleted] offensive. I only play
sal move toward the nostal- days is getting the big names,” background, he has to monitor all [expletive deleted] edited versions
gic “B-movie” genre was nec- said Sony Pictures talent agent public relations for varsity sports of songs and [expletive deleted]
essary after zombies ate the Pat Breach. “We can hire the guys including what may go out over the original movie quotes.” Dave then
brains of most of the Writer’s loitering out in front of 7-11 for a air waves at football games. EN- punched an old woman in the
Guild of America last spring. lot less than it costs to get Brad TER STUDENT SECTION MUSIC. face and took candy from a baby.
News Corporation founder Pitt or Matt Damon. In fact, most of full interviews would be quoted An un-named student by the “Well, as long as he can guaran-
Rupert Murdoch claimed that he the actors we hire usually just end in this article, but the film reels name of Dave Blackham brings tee me there’s nothing bad in there,
decided to make the switch to B- up getting killed in inventive ways.” were lost during post-production. his own speakers and computer I don’t want to spoil the intensity of
movies after he had a run-in with B-movie purists, such as “Grind- [Insert gratuitous sex scene here] to football games each Satur- the student section,” offered Dug-
an axe murderer. “I kept telling my- house” creators Quentin Taran- The protagonist in this story of day to keep the crowd fired up. gan. There, on that fateful Saturday,
self, just go back outside, don’t go tino and Robert Rodriguez, con- Hollywood drama has been the “There’s just not enough school for the first time in School of Mines
through that door, just run away,” demned the action, claiming that American public. So far in the story spirit and if this is what it takes to history, a paid employee completely
said Murdoch, “But it turned out this has been just another studio they have survived, and will likely last get butts in the seats, it’s worth trusted the word of a student. Jeff
that the so-called ‘axe murderer’ attempt to make more money until the end of the ordeal, but hope- paying off security to let me in,” Duggan is the coolest man on
was nothing more than an escaped at the cost of film integrity. Their fully not long enough to see a sequel. reported Dave. Dave’s music com- campus. No joke. Thank you, Jeff.
petes with the cheerleaders, the
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Page 12 a d September 15,2008

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