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Volume 88, Issue 25 The Voice of the Colorado School of Mines, a Superior Education in Applied Science and Engineering

d Science and Engineering April 14, 2008

Denver mayor visits School of Mines From aerospace alloys


Speaks on sustainability, plans for the future to subsea hydrates
Neelha Mudigonda tions that would lead to reducing of using the air conditioners as
Staff Writer the carbon-footprint and making
Denver a green city. For instance,
much, he suggests parking in the
shade to keep the automobiles cool. Expert uses statistical mechanics
Mines has become a target on energy consumption by the pas- Also, in order to reduce fuel
the political landscape as environ-
mental issues come to the forefront
sengers of Denver International Air-
port was reduced by 8 percent;
consumption, 4 percent of state
taxes are funneled towards
to model actual occurrences
of the nation’s concerns. The 2008 last year, DIA received ap- FasTracks (the light-rail Zach Aman ing’s Engineering Excellence Award
Young Environmental Symposium proximately 48 million system) to encour- and the Best Scottish Knowledge
Editor-in-Chief
speaker for the Colorado School passengers, making age public trans- Transfer Partnership (KTP), for their
of Mines, Denver Mayor John W. the amount of en- portation and de- Many students at the Col- work on one such process – the
Hickenlooper, presented “Being ergy conserved crease reliance orado School of Mines have cleaning and recycling of high-end
Good Ancestors: Our Sustainability extremely signifi- on personal taken some class in statistical titanium and nickel alloys. Accord-
to Society” on Monday, the 7th of cant. Hickenloop- automobiles. mechanics, but, according to ing to Westacott, such alloys are
April. In his “Letter from the Mayor” er points out that Dr. Robin Westacott, it takes the priced at up to $20,000 per kilo-
SEE
in July 2006, Hickenlooper stated, the air conditioner application of the experimental gram. “These are the titanium alloys
“mayor”
“As an exploration geologist turned increases the gas process to truly understand it. that go into turbine blades in jet en-
PAGE 3
small businessman, I have always consumption in au- Westacott, a chemical engineer gines and things like that,” he said.
maintained what I considered a tomobiles by 8 to 20 at Heriot-Watt University in Edin-
healthy perspective on the need burgh, Scotland, has been working SEE “HYDRATES” PAGE 3
percent; instead
to balance environmental and eco- with molecular dynam-
nomic considerations in my deci- ics simulations to better
sions. I learned early on in my career understand a multitude
in business that the best solutions of physical processes.
often combine economic, social, Prior to joining the
and environmental considerations.” faculty at Heriot-Watt,
During his presentation, Hick- Westacott was a post-
enlooper reinforced that a strong doctoral student at
economy, an economy that is benefi- both the University of
cial to the society and social justice, Texas at Austin and the
is needed to create ambitious goals University of London.
for healthy ecological practices and In England, he was a
to create an equal opportunity for postdoctoral student
everyone to do so. Hickenlooper of Dr. Carolyn Koh,
explained in his letter that “sustain- now a professor in
ability is a central goal of Denver’s CSM’s chemical en- COURTESY CAROLYN KOH
Comprehensive Plan of 2000 and gineering department
a central value of our administra- and Co-Director of the A knowledgable group. Dr. Robin
tion and our community.” Further- Center for Hydrate Re- Westacott, far left, with his postdoctor
more, in order to advance and search (CHR) there. mentor, Dr. Carolyn Koh, far right, and
support the environmental impact CHRIS PETERS / OREDIGGER This spring, his team two graduate students, center. Koh
analysis, Hickenlooper launched the A meeting of generational leadership. Denver Mayor John from Heriot-Watt won and Westacott’s independent research
Greenprint Denver Initiative in 2005. Hickenlooper and Colorado School of Mines Student Body four national awards, groups now work together on “cold
Hickenlooper presented many President Casey Morse share a photo opportunity. including the Royal flow” models for subsea hydrates.
statistics and made many sugges- Academy of Engineer-

Materials lecture focuses on Senior Design Trade Fair features


developing truly green plastics
Akira Rattenbury Not just a problem at the gas
pump, the issue of rising oil prices af-
innovative engineering design
Staff Writer
fects other significant sectors of the Patrick Beseda were the Ladder Canyon Project, and colonizination of the lunar
The decline of easily accessible, economy, such as the largely petrol- Team MEERCAT and Team iCAST. surface possible, the MEERCAT
Staff Writer
cheap fossil fuel sources and the based plastics industry. Its value to The Ladder Canyon Project project will be competing in this
rising specter of climate change the US economy is over $300 billion, The spirit of engineering and inno- offered their client an exclusive, off- year’s NASA Centennial Challenge.
have encouraged researchers to and accounts for approximately vation was in full swing last Tuesday the-grid housing solution. Generat- The iCAST project was aimed
offset the dependence on the former. “7% of petroleum use worldwide.” throughout Steinhauer Field House ing all of its own power via solar pan- at helping farmers save water
“We are moving into an era at the Colorado School of Mines. els, collecting water using rainwater and energy. The team of seniors
where easy to obtain oil is difficult,” SEE “plastics” PAGE 3 In the 2008 Senior Design Trade and processing waste with com- developed a test system to evalu-
said Professor John Fair, judges passed from project post systems, the Ladder Canyon ate energy use, irrigation systems
R. Dorgan, of the to project, hearing presentations Project was considered by many and the use of Demand Side
Chemical Engineer- from the 35 teams represented. to be very environmentally friendly. Management on crop yield, help-
ing Department. The teams of well-dressed se- Team MEERCAT created a ing farmers optimize their energy
Dorgan presented niors waited anxiously to show off lunar excavation system, using a usage and reduce their costs and
a talk entitled “Eco- the project they had worked on all bucket ladder method to enable be more environmentally friendly.
bionanocompos- year. Working in multidisciplinary mining on the moon. “Mining on the
ites: A New Class teams with majors spanning all moon creates many opportunities,” SEE “TRADE FAIR” PAGE 3
of Green Materi- types of engineering, the seniors said the team. Making exploration
als” at Thursday’s have developed solutions to a huge
MME lecture. “We variety of engineering challenges. Design teams were judged on communication,
are increasingly us- Design teams were judged on
ing less and less communication, engineering solu- engineering solutions, addressing realistic
efficient sources AKIRA RATTENBURY / OREDIGGER
tions, addressing realistic problem
for our fuel,” he constraints and demonstrating problem constraints and demonstrating ethical
said, citing tar
Think Big. Chemical Engineering Professor ethical and environmentally re-
sands and liquefied John Dorgan lectures students on the use of sponsible designs. The teams and environmentally responsible designs.
coal as examples. newly discovered “ecobionanocomposites.” that received the highest scores

News - 2 Features - 4 sports - 9 opinion - 10 SATIRE - 11


~physics colloquium ~Tech Break ~CSM Lacrosse ~nader nastiness ~giant ruffles attack
~world News in Brief ~Golden Hiking (pg 5) ~Frozen Four Tourney ~threat of the weak ~mouthwash shortage
Page 2 n e w s April 14, 2008

Zach Aman, Editor-in-Chief

EUROPE – Cocaine availability


in Europe continues to rise as
traffickers are taking advantage
of the euro’s increasing value
against the dollar. According
to John Walters, the director of
US national drug control policy,
the amount of cocaine flow-
ing across American borders
has simultaneously declined.

CHINA – Last week saw


a historic meeting be-
tween Chinese President
Hu Jintao and Taiwan’s
Vice-President-elect Vin-
cent Siew. The meeting
UNITED STATES – A major- marks the most sincere
ity of families who lost loved contact between the
ones in last year’s Virginia Tech two governments since
massacre have agreed to an their separation in 1949.
$11m deal with the State of
Virginia; Governor Tim Kaine
described the settlement as
“a reasonable resolution.”

ZIMBABWE – The opposition can-


didate, Morgan Tsvangirai, claims to
have won the presidential elections
held on March 29th, but no official
results have been released. The
electoral commission has ordered
the recount of 23 constituencies.
Current President Robert Mugabe
has been in power since the country
Oredigger Staff declared independence in 1980.

Zach Aman
Editor-in-Chief

Hilary Brown
Managing Editor
Solar energy A promising outlook
now,” said Beach. He showed pic- used each month against the
Jason Fish
this,” said Beach. tures and animations of the robots public utility power taken from
Sara Post Content Manager
Copy Editor Today, a system like the one on that turn out hundreds of cells a day. the grid, Beach has recorded
They can be seen on roof- Beach’s roof costs a few thousand If cells are linked together, negative usage, meaning he ex-
Josh Elliott tops, above road signs, in class- dollars and provides about 2 kW they produce a string. Linking ported energy back to the grid
Business Manager rooms, labs, auto races, and of power, enough to provide for strings together gives a module. while sufficiently running his house.
building competitions, pump- many of the house’s demands. Multiple modules make an array, The presentation finished with
Lily Giddings some forecasts on this technol-
ing out electricity. All the while, A modern silicon PV cell is com-
Design Editor ogy. The efficiencies will increase,
they make use of an abundant, posed of thin oxide layers backed
Richard Walker clean source of energy—sunlight. with aluminum and coated in front production will become easier,
Webmaster At CSM, Physics research with a cocktail of silver, titanium, and policies will emerge to inte-
professor Joe Beach has made palladium, and silicon dioxide. grate photovoltaic systems with
Cericia Martinez these solar-powered devices Sealed under a tempered societies and industry even more.
Asst. Design Editor for Layout his hobby and the subject of his glass face, sandwiched between “I think solar cells will be-
presentation at Tuesday’s Phys- layers of EVA, an organic lami- come as common as in-
Cathryn Greene door plumbing,” said Beach.
Asst. Design Editor for Style ics Department Colloquium. nator, and fortified in back with
Also known as photovoltaic a Tevlar plate, the working cell T h e t a l k p r o -
Ryan Browne (PV) cells, this technology is in its collects energy from incoming duced good reactions.
Asst. Business Manager for fifth decade, and, according to photons as they bounce around “He has a unique perspective
Database Management Beach, an exciting field to dabble in. inside the highly reflective surface. on renewable energy,” said John
“It’s a rarity to see a tech- “It’s all about more pho- Scales, colloquium host, and a pro-
Abdullah Ahmed nology go from the laboratory tons in the cell,” said Beach. fessor in the Physics Department.
Asst. Business Manager for Another professor in attendance
Sales and Marketing to people’s roofs,” said Beach. Today, PV cells output frac-
The talk centered on Beach’s tions of volts and a few amperes brought up the idea of imple-
Mike Stone own PV system set up on his of current, running at about 25 % menting more solar technology
Fool’s Gold Editor suburban rooftop. He started with efficiency during the best of times. at Mines, and mentioned the old
some background on the technol- However, more potential and JASON FISH / OREDIGGER and broken PV system atop the
Jason Fish ogy, leading into his experiences less current is needed to power An electric passion. Professor Weaver Towers residence hall
Content Manager and how his system appliances and complex. This discussion prompt-
Joe Beach discusses his hobby:
interacts with the “I think solar cells lighting systems. ed more reaction from the crowd.
Kevin Duffy solar power.
public power grid. Thus, cells are “Given the intellectual profile
Content Manager
S o l a r c e l l s will become as c o n n e c t e d i n of this campus and the improved
Tim Weilert were first devel- series, much the the rectangular panels donned technology, it’s sad this school can’t
Content Manager oped by Bell Labs common as indoor same way as the by sloping shingled houses. represent itself better as steward of
in 1954. The ini- AAA batteries in Beach described the power the Earth,” said Shay Robinson, a
Matthew Pusard tial working mod- plumbing,” said a calculator. This electronics that take the direct cur- student in the Physics department.
Content Manager els cost $14,100/ configuration al- rent and voltage from the arrays and Beach and his wife recently
David Frossard watt in 2008 dol- Beach. lows the cells to transform it into the alternating cur- started their own company, Starfire
Faculty Advisor lars and ran at 6 w o r k t o g e t h e r, rent needed to power his refrigera- Energy, to assist people interested
% efficiency. Powering a typical producing a higher voltage. tor, toaster, dishwasher, lights, and in setting up solar cell arrays on
house would have cost nearly The jour ney from labor a - television. He has also installed a their own properties. Their website
$2M just to set up at that time. tories to residences and busi- data logging device to track and an- is www.starfireenergy.com. Beach’s
By 1978, research had lowered nesses has fueled a growing alyze the performance of his system. presentation slides will soon be avail-
the cost to $4/watt, making solar sys- economy around solar cells. “I’m satisfying my in- able on the Physics Department’s
tems more attractive to consumers. “There’s a whole industry de- ner geek,” said Beach. website at http://www.mines.
“It was very encouraging to see voted to solar cell mass production Comparing the solar power edu/academic/physics/colloquia/.

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
April 14, 2008 n e w s Page 3

Plastics promise Hydrate research crosses


innovative solutions oceans for collaboration
continued from page 1 biological feedstocks, few are truly
green in the sense of being renew-
Professor Dorgan, also the Site able and sustainable. Returning continued from page 1 access to the corporate realm, so flow technology in subsea hydrate
Director of the Colorado Center for to plastics used for packaging, that “[they] can see that everything systems. “There are a number of
Biofuels and Biorefining (C2B2), Dorgan cited problems with cur- “There’s a U.K. scheme which isn’t the same in the real world as patented cold-flow technologies
explained the challenges facing the rent microcomposite plastics, ex- fosters collaboration between it is in the protected environment which focus on transporting non-
world, and the plastics industry in pensive cellulose acetate plastics, universities and small businesses of the university.” agglomerating hydrate
particular, due to the cost of oil. He and non-eco-sensitive clay-filled to encourage knowledge trans- In his research, particles as a cold slur-
presented some of the research be- composites. “You want [plastics] to fer between universities and pri- Westacott has also ry,” said Koh, “but they
ing conducted to offset the problem. degrade to innocuous substances,” vate industry,” said Westacott. extended the appli- have not been tested
While more inefficient sources said Dorgan. “You want things to “[Our] project was to, in the first cation of molecular and there isn’t any
of fossil fuels will continue to be be as eco-friendly as possible.” instance, streamline a process to dynamics into the way of testing them
produced, the issue of depletion Dorgan presented cellulosic clean nickel alloys. The problem is realm of subsea gas unless you spend a
is overshadowed by the bigger nanowhiskers as the key ingredient that the solvents used are becom- hydrates. He is cur- significant amount of
problem: the consequences of in bioplastics because they utilize ing more and more regulated by the rently working with money for field tri-
fossil fuel usage. “The problem a 100 % renewable, biological EPA and it’s all done by permitting the CHR at CSM als. So, you need to
really is ‘what’s the impact on the feedstock while also being envi- based on the amount of solvent on this extension. look on a fundamental
global environment?’” said Dorgan. ronmentally safe and functional. you use. It’s all about recovering His expertise in level and also simu-
Dorgan explained that the emer- Dorgan explained that bioplas- and reusing the solvent; that was statistical mechan- late the real process.”
gence of “industrial ecology,” in the tics typically “don’t have the ther- the original part of the project.” ics and molecular “What we want to
form of environmentally friendly mal resistance of other materi- “The second part was to build, dynamics allows do at the Center is
practices, is beginning to reach als.” Typical bioplastics may have from scratch, a process to clean the for a very unique to look at the fun-
industries from automobile to car- a Heat Distortion Temperature titanium alloys, because you can’t use approach to sys- damentals and use
pet manufacturing. Historically, (HDT) of about 60 oC, which is the same method,” said Westacott. tematic modeling. COURTESY ROBIN WESTACOTT our CSMHyK hydrate
industry has been slow to take up unsuitable for hot beverages or He explained that many titanium “Molecular dy- kinetics model to be
the banner of sustainability to other high temperature applications. alloys are flammable at high tem- namics is essentially able to test, for the first
“close the mass balance.” How- Adding composites help make peratures, so standard cleaning solving Newton’s equations of mo- time, the cold-flow technology that
ever, advances in technology have them more stable at high tem- processes are not applicable. “We tion to determine the movement hasn’t been tested yet,” said Koh.
led scientists to ask, “how can we peratures. By incorporating up developed a process that’s water of atoms and molecules,” said The concept of cold flow, ac-
convert CO2 into useful products?” to 25 weight percent cellulosic based to clean the titanium alloys.” Westacott. “If you know how two cording to Koh and Westacott,
The lecture cited several proj- nanowhiskers, HDT can exceed Westacott added that, when atoms interact with one another, flies against decades of traditional
ects, which have successfully 100oC. Through simple chemistry working with smaller businesses, you can calculate the force between thermodynamic methods of con-
introduced “bioplastics” into their to improve physical properties of priorities have a tendency to shift them. If you can calculate this, trolling hydrates. “It presents a
designs. These endeavors use the nanocomposite, bioplastics can very quickly. “You can set about you can tell how the movement of major shift in the industrial method
CO2 from the air to create plastic be reinforced with as little as 10% solving one of the problems only one atom influences another. For for hydrate control,” Koh said.
by biological and chemical means. cellulosic nanowhiskers and still to find that, halfway through the a system of thousands of atoms, “The key to controlling hydrate
Dorgan noted the company Na- exceed 100oC HDT. Thus, cellulosic process, the company’s business you can start to simulate realistic flow assurance problems will be
tureWorks has created bioplastics nanowhisker-reinforced bioplastics priorities have changed and you substances. You can start to calcu- to stop the hydrate particles from
from the photosynthetic fixing of are suitable for your daily coffee, or have to be able to adapt,” he said. late things like interfacial tensions.” sticking together. This key concept
CO2 to form lactic acid. Subsequent could potentially replace the poly- Westacott believes that this Westacott and the CHR are is currently being investigated by
chemosynthesis processes produce styrene used in packaging today. exposure to business, however, applying these simulations to in- CHR researchers using microme-
polylactides, which can be used for Future research will better mimic gives his students unprecedented vestigate the application of cold chanical force measurements.”
a variety of packaging purposes. nature to create more sustain-
Dorgan presented other cur-
rent bioplasitic advances, such as
able products. Concluding the
lecture, Dorgan explained that Mayor seeks to inspire environmental action
genetically engineered switch grass there will be “big impacts from mo- continued from page 1 percent of all scientists believe that mendous. An ex-engineer who was
with polyester fibers, which could lecular biology,” and that scientists global warming is occurring and that a professor at Wesleyan University
be used as a feedstock for clothing “need to address feedstock chal- In order to further lower energy human activity is the main cause of said, “Most people believe this infor-
and other products. Cars are also lenges,” when looking at plastics. consumption, last year Hickenloop- global warming. He stated, “As we mation to be obvious but don’t take
being built with corn-based interior Materials Science and Metallurgy er’s administration helped plant begin to run out of easily accessible it to heart; however, Hickenlooper’s
fabrics. Renewable castor oil-based senior Paul Johnson expressed his 60,000 trees; their goal is to increase fuel, it’s time to look for alterna- style of speech makes you care
plastic powder coatings have been interest following the lecture. “I’m in- that number to 75,000 this year. This tives to reduce CO2 emissions.” about what’s going on around the
applied to ubiquitous products terested in the other applications be- is a part of the plan to plant a mil- By implementing the Greenprint town.” Another graduate student of
such as shopping carts for years. sides packaging. What else can we lion new trees over the next twenty Denver plan and by using alterna- Mines said, “I wasn’t aware of the
While many technologies use make with a renewable feedstock?” years. When proposed to several tive sources of energy, Denver statistics that Hickenlooper pro-
communities, school districts, and can become a model city in terms vided during his speech, like most

Trade Fair ignites creativity organizations around the city, the


idea received tremendous support.
Also, planting the trees on the south
of healthy ecological practices
for other cities around the world.
The audience response to Hick-
people. Now, I realize how impor-
tant of a role stats can play in your
decision-making [about the amount
continued from page 1 aling the bicycle for a few minutes. side of the house or a building is enlooper’s presentation was tre- of water and energy consumption].”
Other design projects ranged With a more humanitarian touch, the most efficient way to reduce
from local to international engi-
neering challenges. Several teams
focused on improvements at CSM,
another team of seniors designed
a sustainable water system for use
by a school in Uganda. Without a
the maximum carbon-footprint.
Hickenlooper’s administration
also helps homes become more
FREE Seminar on
offering a football field renovation
and a replacement design for the
clean water source nearby, child-
hood educational opportunities
“green” by making sure that all
construction companies recycle Off-Campus Living
Power Labs. There were also a are limited in the country. Contacts their concrete, pass environmental
few electric vehicle designs, a wind in Africa and previous trips to the requirements, and insulate houses
farm solution for Native Ameri- site offered enough information to properly while building them. One

Rent or Buy?
can leaders, a pool playing robot account for the collection, filter- of the environmental requirements
and a cell phone robotics system. ing and storage of clean water. for construction companies is that
One team created a recumbent bi- Many regard the trade fair as they plant new and efficient sprin-
cycle generator designed to charge a a spectacular display of the en- kler systems that decrease the
battery for use during power outages. gineering spirit that makes CSM flow of water and do sustainable Learn How to Make It Work for You.
Dubbed the “Lean Green Machine”, unique. One judge, who has fre- landscaping in new construction
the team demonstrated the design quented past trade fairs, said, “This to reduce water consumption.
by powering a blender simply by ped- was the best trade fair in years.” Hickenlooper stated that 95

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w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
Page 4 f e a t u r e s April 14, 2008

... with Ian Littman


Stretch your laptop battery
energy if they’re kept in shape. As ing an over-quick shutdown due to
a rule of thumb, keep your battery insufficient juice, this time for real.
out of hot conditions as much as Finally, laptop batteries have
The time comes too soon. Your some keyboard or software shortcut headphones to conserve battery. possible. Hot places don’t get a limited lifespan. Once charged
computer suddenly shuts down, on your laptop. Just remember to 2. Don’t tax the system along with batter- and discharged
saving all your work, but telling you turn them on when you need them. Modern laptops scale down pro- ies of this type. The lithium ion batteries completely five
in no uncertain terms that you must Also, make sure your computer’s cessing and other battery-intensive Also make sure hundred to one
connect to a power outlet immedi- power profile (if it has one; Windows stuff when there’s nothing to do. to fully discharge in today’s laptops are darn thousand times,
ately if you want to resume work. Vista computers do) is set to its So the less you do on your laptop your laptop bat- depending on
This is the time of the dead battery. most power-saving setting to get while it’s on battery, the better. tery every once good sources of energy if the model (two
Here are a few tips on making the the most out of your battery. As Don’t, for example, run a virus scan in awhile, then half-discharges
battery last longer so this mo- to turning things down, dimming while on battery power. If you must charge it all the they’re kept in shape. count as one full
ment doesn’t take you by surprise. your screen reduces power intake play a game, either turn down the way back up, so discharge) you’re
1. If you don’t need it, turn it off substantially, as the screen is a very settings a bit or prepare for battery that your laptop’s battery gauge just not going to get the same perfor-
or down power-hungry part of your laptop. annihilation at a much faster rate. knows what it’s doing. At one point mance as you did when the battery
When typing notes in class, you Also, if you’re listening to music, 3. Keep your battery at its best my laptop’s gauge didn’t; it used was new. But, no matter what shape
probably don’t need WiFi, and you softer means better on battery life. condition 97% of its power in two hours plus, your battery is in, these tips can
certainly don’t need Ethernet. You Use headphones instead of built-in The lithium ion batteries in today’s then gamed on three percent for help your laptop go the extra mile
can usually turn off both of these via speakers and earbuds instead of laptops are darn good sources of maybe fifteen minutes before do- if you’re using it at nonzero velocity.

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High Grade’s faculty advisor. submissions are considered year of publication. It may not BlackstoneÊÇxä
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ible testimony of the creative “It takes courage to send or be generally well known on

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across campus,” said Lefton. know in hopes that they will pub- involved in its publication, High ÝV°Ê,iÃiÀÛi°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° fx°™™ Ê"̅iÀà °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° fÈ°™™
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Fighting the belief that engi- lish it,” said Lefton. This year, Grade stands as a confirma- Ê/Þ«ið°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° fx°™™ BarefootÊ£°x
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creative side, students involved fiction entries were submitted. is possible in any situation. RosemountÊÇxä Ê/Þ«ið°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° fn°™™
in the High Grade Literary and To Lefton, High Grade “is “In the end,” said Lefton, ˆ>“œ˜`Ê-iÀˆià °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° fn°™™
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year to produce an innova- involved.” This year’s issue done, that it looks good, and

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tive and artistic publication. features a composition book that there is a legacy for 2008
“It takes dedication from the design, innovative interior pag- that moves beyond making KEYSTONE
KEYSTONE LIGHT
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editors and staff who make es and an increased amount good grades or promotions.”
the time to solicit, read, select, of color art, in addition to High Grade author and co- SPE
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design, proof and produce the ample poetry and prose. Editor-in-Chief Chris Lopez

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œœÀÃÊ-«iVˆ>Ã • Coors Banquet & Light - everyday low prices
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a literary and arts journal,” On Monday, April 7, High wrote in one of his poems, “I -ՈÌV>Ãià °°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°f£x°™™
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with schoolchildren on an urban Jack DanielsÊ Burnett’s Dry GinÊÊ
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Jim BeamÊ Windsor CanadianÊ
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tively, for a trip to Honduras. 
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The McBride students are ruins, a clothing fac- Canadian MistÊ Viaka, SkolÊÊVodka
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tribution to kids in the rural Old CrowʜÀÊYellowstone
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Honduran village of Colinas BacardiÊ7…ˆÌiʜÀÊœ` Canadian ClubÊ
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de Suiza. This village is popu- gaging in dialogues Jose CuervoÊ Ã«iVˆ> Taaka VodkaÊ
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with local govern-
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Colinas de Suiza; McBride stu- ture, economy, and politics. 7ˆÌ…Ê̅ˆÃÊVœÕ«œ˜ÊUÊ Ý«ˆÀiÃÊ«ÀˆÊ£x]ÊÓään
dents will have the opportunity to The Honduras team will be Bring your soccer balls!
observe and discuss the effects accepting soccer ball dona- “Downtown Golden -Where The West Shops”
of this technological develop- tions in the Student Center from Student Center, April 23, 24, Hours: Mon-Thurs. 9am-7pm, Fri-Sat 9am-8pm
XXXX

ment on the lifestyles of Coli- Wednesday, April 23rd to Friday, 13th & Washington, Golden • 303-279-3373
nas’ inhabitants.  The McBride April 25th from 11am-1pm.
and 25 from 11am to 1pm. Credit Cards Accepted

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
April 14, 2008 f e a t u r e s Page 5

Hiking ACROSS GOLDEN


Neelha Mudigonda, Staff Writer
Colorado is well-known for its scenic beauty, which provides us with several
outdoor activities such as skiing, hiking, and mountain-biking. Living in Golden
makes it possible for residents to conveniently access many of these hiking and
biking trails that are local to the town. Here are some interesting trails in the area.

apex park
Starting at the Heritage Square

matthews / winters park trails parking lot, Apex Park is approxi-


mately an 800 foot climb between
Giddy-up! The Matthews/ Located just south of I-70 at the Morrison the parking lot and Lookout Mountain
Winters Park Trail system exit and close to the Red Rocks Amphitheater, road. One of the trails of the Apex Park
the Matthews/Winters Park Trails consist of runs parallel to the Chimney Gulch
offers terrain for horse-
three trails - the Dakota Ridge Trail, Red Rocks Trail, making the Chimney Gulch Trail
back riding, hiking, and and the Apex trail close neighbors.
Trail, and Morrison Slide Trail. The park con-
biking. tains a total of approximately 8 miles of trails. The park consists of all levels
of difficulties for hiking and biking.
Many horseback riders as well as
visitors who come to enjoy the scen-
ery are often present on the easier
dakota ridge trail red rocks trail morrison slide trail hiking trails. The view of the snow-
This trail is more familiar Adjacent to the Red Rocks With its steep rocks and narrow capped mountains in the background
to mountain-bikers than hik- amphitheater, this trail starts dirt paths, Morrison Slide trail easily At the Apex. From is a treat for many of its visitors.
ers because of its rolling sec- out in the midst of meadows. attracts both climbers and bikers. Heritage square, hikers One of the most popular routes
tions and technical loops; it The trail begins above a creek, The hogback in the Matthews/ can embark on a 800 ft that the mountain bikers take is
also provides great views of where many native species of Winters Park Trails separates the climb. the Apex Trail West to Apex gulch,
the Eastern plains as well as birds and insects are present. mountains from the plains. To which in turn leads to the Pick n’
the Red Rocks in the West. The plains and the mead- the east of the hogback is the Sledge trail and the Grubstake
ows are good for beginning Dinosaur Ridge Visitor Center, loop. This route climbs uphill for
hikers. Also, the exposure to another attraction to visitors; approximately 2 miles before
sunlight on this trail makes it furthermore, the hogback is the meeting the Enchanted Forest.
welcoming even in the midst of center of wildlife views in the area.
winter. People often go horse-
back riding on this trail as well.
enchanted forest trail
Mountain-bikers who seek
more adventure and difficul-
south table mountain ty and choose to return to the
South Table Mountain is locat- path gets rockier and steep- foothills rather than continuing
ed just southeast of Golden with er towards the summit. South uphill choose the Enchanted
an intriguing formation history. Table Mountain is renowned Forest path. This path is “hard
Its highlight is its cap, formed of for the view from the top. and known for its rapid drops;
basalt from ancient lava flows. Hikers are well rewarded with sometimes, the mudslides make
An access point to hike South an amazing view of Golden and it even harder,” said a biker.
Table Mountain is in a neighbor- its surroundings as well as the
hood at the end of 19th street.
The curvy path makes the
mountains. “The hike is well-
worth the view of the city,” said
chimney gulch trail
hike easier because of the lack a hiker. “The view of the sunset A couple of access points vegetation that grows in the area. tiest.” The tourist attractions
of rapid elevation gain, but from the very top is the best.” to the trail are from Lookout “I see deer up on Chimney Gulch at the top of the trail include
Mountain west of US 6 and every time I bike up there,” a local Buffalo Bill’s Grave, the Boettch-
the roadside parking on US 6 mountain biker recalled. “Going er Mansion, and the Lookout
eastbound from Highway 58. late in the afternoon is the best Mountain Nature center, which
This trail is a major attraction to time to go,” said another biker. is located at the summit of the
mountain-bikers and hikers who “That’s when the trail is the pret- mountain where the trail ends.
like to challenge themselves
with intensely elevated heights.
The Chimney Gulch Trail climbs
2000 feet in a relatively short dis-
ALL PHOTOS: NEELHA MUDIGONDA / OREDIGGER

tance of 2.5 miles from US 6 to


the peak of the Lookout Moun-
tain, taking its visitors through
grass prairies and pine forests,
and to streams and creeks.
Bird’s eye view. The view of Golden from the top The gulch gets its name from
of South Table Mountain is worth the climb. the fast moving wildfires in the
area, which explains the natural

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Phone: (303) 278-060, (303) 278-0072
w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
Page 6 f e a t u r e s April 14, 2008

csm dance team recital


tuesday, april 15 7 pm bunker auditorium
Geek Week of
the

...Curtis Fleming, Sophomore: Math and Computer Science, Chemistry


Alec Westerman fields, and gradient
Staff Writer fields and all equations
are displayed in the
Oredigger: Would you consider TI-89 format of “pretty
yourself a geek? print.” It’s fairly cus-
Fleming: Yes tomizable, it’s written
in Java [and] it’s free.
When did you know you were You can consider it just
MEAVE HAMM / OREDIGGER a geek?
a math utility it doesn’t
Sophomore year in high school
when I took two AP classes and do everything but I
got 5’s. like to make it good at
what it does. (Grapher
What is the Geekiest thing can be found at www.
you’ve seen at Mines? minesapps.com)
Our pull up rules. (Outside of
Curtis’s door is a sign stating: What area of science
“When you leave our room you do you find to be the
must do the following number most interesting?
of pull ups or chin-ups: 12. Or In general I’d have to
memorize one more digit of pi: say nanotechnology,
3.14159265359...) that you can actually
create something out
How many decimals of pi do
you know? of individual atoms!
100!
What are your edu-
Which fictional world would ALEC WESTERMAN/OREDIGGER cational plans?
you most prefer to live in? Book Smart: Curtis has memorized pi to I intend to get a higher
StarCraft 100 decimal points degree in one of my
two majors: chemistry
Are you part of any organiza- or computer science.
tions or clubs?
What does it do?
Not part of anything; I just program. I What is the greatest extreme
was in juggling club last year. In general it acts pretty much like a
standard graphing calculator [and] it you’ve gone to for school work?
helps with CAPA. Instead of switch- I’d have to say in organic chemistry
What might you do after gradu-
ation? ing between a calculator and a com- when I did all the problems in the
I plan on possibly researching in puter, it’s all on the computer and you book.
chemical modeling. can make some really nice graphs on
it. I’ve been programming Grapher Do you know a geek of
What is something geeky you’ve for three years so I want people to the week?
done? try it. It can graph regular Cartesian, E-mail oredig@mines.edu
I’ve written Grapher parametric, polar, slope fields, vector and let us know!

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
April 14, 2008 l i f e s t y l e Page 7

Movie Review Music Review


Counting cards in 21 Someone Still Loves
Jesse Al-ayi had any unique, real

You Boris Yeltsin


Staff Writer life experiences, so
Harvard won’t grant
Based loosely on the on the him a $300,000
best-selling novel, “Bringing Down scholarship. In-
the House,“ by Ben Mezrich, 21
tells the inspiring true story of a
stead, he tries to
save up for grad Pershing makes waves
group of MIT students who made school by work-
Jake Rezac
bank in Vegas counting cards. ing an $8 an hour nies, which are offset by clean
job at a clothing
Staff Writer and crisp guitar playing and
“If some MIT students department store. Missouri band Someone Still interesting rhythms, making
Ben’s poten- NS Loves You Boris Yeltsin (SSLYBY) both tracks very appealing.
O
can play the system, I tial is noticed by M
M released their second album, Lyrically, SSLYBY appears to
CO
his math profes- IA Pershing, on April 8th. The be trying too hard to match their
sure as hell know there sor Micky Rosa, IM
ED
group, which is composed of upbeat, catchy melodies with
IK
W
are better Mines kids played by Kevin Spac- SY Philip Dickey, Will Knauer, John equally catchy and cute lyrics. In
TE
ey, who asks him to join UR Robert Cardwell, and Jonathan “Oceanographer,” for example,
that can do it better.” CO
his blackjack club made James, has been around since almost every line has an end
up of four other students. Ben ery weekend 2002, and released their first rhyme with the word ‘oceanog-
The movie’s main character, Ben initially refuses, but changes his to rack up some album Broom in 2005. Persh- rapher.’ At times, however, the
Campbell, played by Jim Sturgess, mind when one of the mem- dirty, hard cash. That is until ing is SSLYBY’s first profession- lyrics match the songs perfectly.
is wicked smart, which has gotten bers, Jill, who happens to be the Cole Williams, played by Lau- ally produced record (Broom “Boring Fountain” is a song
him through MIT and into Harvard girl of his dreams, entices him. rence Fishburne, catches on was recorded in a band-mem- about ennui and malaise, and
medical school. Although he may Before you know it, the “club” to their little scheme. Cole is ber’s basement with low-quality the tired state these conditions
have the grades, Ben hasn’t is heading down to Vegas ev- a security consultant for the equipment) and has received a cause. The words “by the way I
casino, whose business has large amount of buzz on mu- feel nothing” permeate the song,
nearly become extinct due to sic blogs and other websites. perfectly balancing the melody.
the technological advances Pershing begins with “Glue P e r s h i n g f i n d s S S LY B S
of facial recognition software. Girls.” The song, which is very more musically mature than
There are, of course, some similar to the material they’ve re- Broom. They sound less like

KAUST Discovery Scholarship


love side-plots and coming-of- leased in the past, is upbeat and The Shins and The New Pornog-
age moments, but overall, the makes use of fast chord changes raphers and more like a band
movie was rather entertaining. and doubled vocals for some creating its own sound. While
Most importantly, the movie will great effects. The song also has this can act to their disadvan-
have you telling yourself, “If some a few catchy melodies, both sung tage at times, overall they’ve
Full scholarships for science MIT students can play the sys-
tem, I sure as hell know there are
and played by electric guitar.
Other highlights of the al-
created a solid record whose
upbeat and catchy tunes are
and technology students Mines kids that can do it better.” bum include “Dead Right”
a n d “ T h i n k I Wa n n a D i e . ”
sure to brighten a listener’s day.

In both songs, backing vo-


cals create memorable harmo-

The King Abdullah University of Science and


Technology (KAUST), a 21st century graduate-level,
research university, is offering scholarships for future
Those Hipsters!
leaders in science, engineering, and technology. CSM’s newest band turns heads
The benefits of the KAUST Discovery Scholarship Jake Rezac Hipsters!”’ It was pretty much spiration from their favorite bands.
Staff Writer a one-time deal, but it stuck.” According to Weilert, these are
include: Those Hipsters! is a band doing After a few successful perfor- “Sufjan Stevens, Death Cab for
its best to get noticed by the Mines mances at ARB, the two decided to Cutie, The Shins, and Against
• Full tuition at current institution community. Whether they’re play- continue working together at differ- Me!” Those Hipsters! have cov-
ing at Anon- ent venues. ered many of these bands. Sufjan
• Living stipend, book and computer allowance ymous Right After a few successful per- For example, Stevens is one of their favorites to
Brains, win- this spring, cover because both Weilert and
• Upon graduation, admission and full scholarship ning the E- formances at ARB, the two they played Stevens enjoy listening to Suf-
for the KAUST master’s degree program at the days Battle at the Cam- jan. “When- ever we do a cover
of the Bands decided to continue working pus Crusade song, it’s usually
University’s Red Sea campus competition,
performing
together at different venues. as pnodn s Fo re CA
d
the song I’ve
been listen-
on Mines In- Soiree. This ing to the most
The KAUST campus opens in September 2009. Highly ternet Radio, or simply practicing was the first performance where at the time,”
in the Student Center or elsewhere they played one of their most Weilert explained.
talented students with one to three years remaining
NS
O

around campus, it can be hard for popular songs, “The REAL Hey The duo is excit-
M
M
CO

students involved in the campus There Delilah,” deviating from ed for the future. “We
A

in first university degree programs can apply now.


I
ED

community to miss them. De- their standard of indie-rock plan to write more origi-
IM
IK
W

spite this, the band – composed covers. The song is a nal stuff, and help create
SY
TE
UR

of freshmen Keith Stevens and parody of the Plain our own distinct sound but
CO

Tim Weilert –does its best not White T’s song practicing more and play-
to take itself too seriously. The “Hey There ing more gigs,” said Stevens.
name, for example, is a bit of Delilah,” Also, they will be living together
Visit www.kaust.edu.sa/discovery or email a joke to Stevens and Weilert, w i t h next year and hopefully getting a
scholarships@kaust.edu.sa who will both admit to occasion- drummer. According to Weilert,
ally being hipsters themselves. this will result in the two “getting
The duo got together late last more serious about the band.”
semester with an interest in play- However, while becoming bet-
CONTACT: ing at Anonymous Right Brains the ter musicians, the group hopes
(ARB). This is where their name lyrics to remain relaxed about their
KAUST Scholarships first developed. “At Anonymous band. They hope to maintain
520 Post Oak Boulevard, Right Brains, we had to put some- changed to a “hey, I like this song…let’s
thing down for our band name,” represent a love song by a Face- play it!” attitude, said Stevens.
Suite 740
Weilert said. Stevens added, “We book stalker. The group has contin- F o r m o re i n f o r m a t i o n o n
Houston, TX 77027 realized that we were pretty much ued to perform, including a win at Those Hipsters! and free mp3s
Phone: 713.621.6300 x23 playing an entire hipster song set, the E-days Battle of the Bands. “We of their music, check out their
so we thought ‘how about mock were pretty surprised,” said Weilert. M y S p a c e p a g e ( w w w. m y s -
hipsters and call ourselves “Those The group gets much of its in- pace.com/thosehipsters).

w wx 10”
Colorado School of Mines - The Oredigger - 4.00” w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
Page 8 a d v e r t i s e m e n t April 14, 2008

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w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
April 14, 2008 s p o r t s Page 9

Are you someone who is OUTGOING?


Do you love making people LAUGH?
Mines Lacrosse team finds
Are you looking to earn some extra MONEY?
success as season continues
Matthew Pusard
most of the time.” The team had to that respect. Despite a loss to the
If so, apply Content Manager
travel from an 11-7 victory at the division-leading Montana State
to be the It is a great The Mines Men’s Lacrosse University of New Mexico to North- Bobcats on Saturday, the Oredig-
next way to have team is over halfway through the ern Arizona in the period of a day. gers just need to win their remain-
FUN, see a lot season and the team has shown The skid continued two weeks ing divisional games against the
MARVIN of SPORTS itself as a defensive power in the
league. Through their first eight
later against Fort Lewis in a 16-2
loss. The Orediggers were un-
University of Northern Colorado and
Regis University to clinch a playoff
games, and
THE MINER games, the Orediggers have let up able to get anything going on spot. Both squads currently have
earn some a division-low 56 goals. This total offense during the April 29th losing records and reside behind
includes a 17-1 masterpiece the Orediggers in the standings.
MONEY!
MASCOT! against Nebraska-Omaha and “There was no fire in most
consecutive victories against
UNC appears to be the more
difficult of the two matchups.
Western State and Wyoming player’s guts. We ended up being The Bears have totaled 107
by the scores of 11-3 and 16-2 goals on the season, but have
respectively. “Defensive Cap- on defense most of the time.” also let up 94 in nine games.
tain Trent Noonan knows how The team is tough though.
to motivate the defense and direct game and the team succumbed They came the closest out of any
them to make a solid wall between to the #7 Skyhawks, led by Erik team in the conference to beat-
No experience necessary
the offense and the goal,” said team Johnson and his 7 point game. ing Montana State. The Bears
5’11’’ height limit to fit in suit captain Mike Stone. “With a great Despite the losses, the Oredig- took the Bobcats into overtime
Applications due to Libby at erichard@mines.edu goalie too, the team has a great shot gers had held a perfect conference in their matchup, but lost 15-14.
at doing anything as long as the of- record until recently. That wasn’t The Bears come to Mines on
by Friday, April 18th enough for the Top 25 Polls though. Saturday the 19th with their own
fense keeps up. It’s teamwork.”
Auditions are Monday, April 21st The season has not been with- CSM ranked 24th in the most recent playoff hopes on the line in what
out adversity. The team holds a April 2nd poll, but was ranked be- promises to be a great game. The
current 2-1 divisional record with hind schools like Metro State who teams will be playing at 2:00 PM.
a 5-3 record overall. The team’s had lost 14-4 to CSM earlier in the On the women’s side of the
first setback of the season oc- year and had a worse conference sport, the inaugural season for the
curred at the end of Spring Break and overall record than the Oredig- Lady Orediggers is underway. The
on March 15th against North- gers. The team is not worried about team’s first game resulted in a 8-6
ern Arizona in a 10-2 defeat. the polls, however. “The polls don’t loss, but had two more games
When asked about what hap- matter to us much now,” stated scheduled for this past Sunday
pened, Stone commented that Stone. “We have a list of goals for afternoon. “It’s a start-up team
the two contributing factors were this season and smack dab at num- where next year will be great,”
“a long car trip past midnight the ber one is making playoffs. It has said Stone, the team’s coach, of
night before and a lack of fire. There nothing to do with polls anymore.” the women’s squad. “They have
was no fire in most player’s guts. The Orediggers appear to be great leadership and will con-
We ended up being on defense in control of their own destiny in tinue to improve through next year.”

Frozen Four comes to Denver


Matthew Pusard secure their first championship first period. But Boston College
Content Manager game appearance in hockey as was not able to capitalize either
well as the first appearance of a as the game remained scoreless
While 2007 saw the debut of fourth seed, the lowest seed in the going into the first intermission.
the World Series in Colorado, this tournament’s four subgroups, in BC finally got on the board
year will see the first ever Mile the final game. Meanwhile, Boston early in the second period though.
High Music Festival in July and College had a significantly easier Showcasing the same dominant
an assuredly historical Demo- time making it to the champion- aggression, the team scored 3
cratic National Convention in ship, winning 6-1 after taking a consecutive goals in the first 8:11
August. Likewise, 2008 marked four goal lead in the first period. of the period. Notre Dame quickly
the return of the Frozen Four, the The win set up a new twist in responded after the barrage with
semifinals and finals of NCAA the “Holy War” rivalry between a goal of its own, but never really
Division 1 hockey, to Colorado. the Eagles and the Fighting Irish. recovered. The team almost made
The tournament, which starts The two Catholic colleges are things interesting in the third period
as a 16 team playoff divided with a goal produced by crafty
into four subgroups, actually Notre Dame looked sheepish passing, but it was soon disal-
originated in Colorado Springs in comparison and was not lowed on a controversial call.
at the former Broadmoor The referees ruled that the
World Arena. The arena held able to create any real scoring puck was kicked into the net by
the first 10 Frozen Fours from opportunities. Kyle Lawson, but any attempt
1948 to 1957 before the tour- to get a stick on the puck was
nament branched out. While the the only such universities that nullified by a hit laid down by de-
tournament has appeared in Colo- compete in Division 1-A football, fenseman Tim Filangieri. The Irish
rado since then, this year marked the sport which originated the never really threatened again and
its debut at the Pepsi Center. rivalry, and the rivalry continued Boston College won 4-1 to secure
This year’s Frozen Four featured on a different front on Saturday. its third national championship.
two number one seeds, Michigan Boston College’s play was The tournament’s most out-
and North Dakota, facing off reminiscent of their 6-1 semifinal standing player award was won by
against fourth seed Notre Dame victory as they started the game 5’5” Junior Nathan Gerbe with his
and third seed Boston College confident and aggressive. Notre five Frozen Four goals, including the
respectively. On Thursday, the Dame looked sheepish in com- game winner in the championship
Irish pulled out a 5-4 victory in parison and was not able to create game. His draft rights are already
overtime against Michigan to any real scoring opportunities in the owned by the NHL’s Buffalo Sabres.

FREE Q’DOBA AND ANTHONY’S PIZZA


@ the Softball and Baseball Double-header and student appreciation

TAILGATE !!!SPONSERED BY SAAC


Support your Mines Ball Teams and get free food
SATURDAY, APRIL 19TH, FOOD AT 1:00
Food is first come, first-served
No available parking near field

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
Page 4 o p i n i o n March 24, 2008

Debunking the Nader nastiness


Why the liberals are ruining America
Political Science Journal, those voters both filled in the bubble tacitly supports the military-indus-
Emily Przekwas
who voted for Nader would not for their candidate and wrote the trial complex. I am offended that
Guest Writer necessarily have given their votes candidate’s name in the write- the campus democrats assume
to Gore had Nader stepped out. in-space. If these had been in- my vote could or would be wasted
I would like to urge the Campus Here are some facts about the cluded in the count, Gore would on the Democratic Party of which I
Democrats to stop propagandizing 2000 election that the Democrats did have had a net gain of 662 votes, believe has little or no truly progres-
on the obscene myth that the 2000 not include in their recent handouts: enough to win the election. [5] sive principles left in its platform.
election was “spoiled” by Ralph * More than 200,000 regis- * In the highly Democratic county I would urge all those who con-
Nader. The flyers they handed out tered Democrats in Florida vot- of Palm Beach, an abnormally large sider themselves as progressive
on E-Days insinuated the potential ed for George Bush and over number of votes were cast for the to peruse Ralph Nader’s website,
danger that Ralph Nader poses to half of the registered Democrats conservative candidate Pat Buch- www.votenader.org. Here you will
the 2008 election and were fear- there did not vote at all. [1] anan. Buchanan himself estimated find substantive articles written by
mongering at best. Third party can- * Every one of the eight third- that as many as 95% of these citizens participating in the demo-
didates bolster and create a healthy party presidential candidates in 3,500 votes were Gore’s because cratic process rather than regurgi-
democracy by adding to the political Florida received more than the of the faulty “butterfly” ballot. [6] tated lies spread by mass media
discourse and providing a voice 543 votes cited as the decid- * According to exit polls, over think tanks. You will find that dis-
for those of us who are dissatisfied ing factor in the election. [2] half of the Nader voters would crediting Ralph Nader’s candidacy
with the options presented to us by * The Florida courts ruled along have stayed home, 25% would based on banal and false claims of
our present two-party system. party lines to up- have voted for Gore, and 15% “spoiling” the 2000 election does
The fliers passed out The hold the vote would have voted for Bush. The no justice to the causes he has
on E-days by the cam- count cer- rest would have voted for an- been advocating for over 40 years. COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
pus democrats had many voting tified by other third party candidate. [7] [1] San Francisco Chronicle.
information about Secre- There were many illegal and (2000, Nov. 9). “Election 2000.” Washington Post. (2001 Nov. 13).
vote splitting and irregularities in the 2000 tary of disgraceful factors involved in the Utilizing, Voter News Service. “Florida black ballots affected most in
spoiling elections State 2000 Florida election, but the fact [2]Trandahl, J. - Clerk of the 2000.” Retrieved April 28, 2003, from
from Wikipedia. Florida vote suggest that fraud, K a t h - that 97,000 American citizens voted House of Representatives. (Correct http://www.washingtonpost.com.
Specifically, the
fliers outlined the not Nader, was the true l e e n for a cause and candidate they be- to June 21, 2001). Statistics of the [6] Nichols, J. (2001). Jews for Bu-
Harris, lieved in was not one of them. Even Presidential and Congressional chanan: Did you hear the one about
results of the 2000
deciding factor. despite Al Gore recognizes the election Election of November 7, 2000. the theft of the American Presiden-
election, which some a clear was stolen from him by a corrupt [3] Rakove, J. N., editor. (2001). cy? New York, NY: The New Press.
Gore supporters believe conflict of in- system in Florida and the failure The Unfinished Election of 2000: [7] Simmons. S and Simmons
was “spoiled” by Ralph Nader. t e re s t ( s h e w a s a of the Electoral College to accu- Leading Scholars Examine Amer- J.R. If it Weren’t for Those ?*!&*@!*
Most controversial was the Florida member of Bush’s campaign!) [3] rately represent the popular vote. [8] ica’s Strangest Election. New Nader Voters we Wouldn’t Be in
vote, where Nader received 97,000 * Over 94,000 Florida voters were I choose to support Ralph Nader York, NY: Basic Books, A Member This Mess: The Social Determi-
votes and the margin of victory for removed from voter rolls because of because I believe in the issues that of the Perseus Books Group. nants of the Nader Vote and the
Bush was 543 votes. However, felony convictions. Yet more than he stands for. He is truly a progres- [4] Kelly, G. The Observer, Constraints on Political Choice,
the many voting irregularities in 95% of them were not convicted fel- sive candidate. I will not give my Guardian Media Group. (2002, New Political Science: June 1, 2006
the 2000 Florida vote suggest ons and should not have been dis- vote to the spineless Democratic Oct. 31). “Exile on mainstream.” [8] John Heilmann The Come-
that fraud, not Nader, was the qualified. The majority of these vot- Party that authorized the Iraq inva- Retrieved April 28, 2003, back Kid New York Magazine
true deciding factor. Moreover, ers were registered Democrats. [4] sion, does not advocate universal f r o m w w w. g r e g p a l a s t . c o m . May 22, 2006 Accessed at: http://
according to a study in the New * On some discarded ballots, single-payer health care, and that [5] Keating, D. and Mintz, J. nymag.com/news/politics/17065/

Letter to the Editor Threat of the Weak


a new vision of black and white...
Dear Editor, minutes. The investigation also
I am writing this in response says that this is the time it takes
to the article “The D.C. Handgun just to physically drive from the
Ban” written by Alec Wester- station to the site of the crime/
man in the March 31st edition accident/emergency. This does Andrew Aschenbrenner there is rich and poor. From the simple. Of course, it’s usually not
of the Oredigger. He makes not include routing the call, suit- Columnist perspective of the Right, there is quite as dramatic as the Holocaust.
several bad assumptions that ing up, or walking to the location. moral and immoral. Let’s be clear: But it is the same effect. Demonize
I cannot let slide by. I agree In real life, the criminal does not The difference between threat There is one America. Period. the “other,” and it will insure your own
with him that the primary goal spend 6 minutes monologuing and safety is one acutely known to The simple thought that there safety. Nothing is more shameful.
of a ban is to remove hand- before they try to kill you, only to man. A sense for threats to one’s needs to be a battle of “Us vs. What is incredibly dangerous
guns from the hands of people. be foiled by cops, they just kill well-being and way of life is impor- Them” is preposterous. Many of is that we have been seeing an
However, he claims that you. So, “calling 911 in the midst tant to survival and, in some cases, our forefathers were smart enough incredible political climate over the
smuggling handguns would be of a murder” gives the murderer happiness. But the black-and-white to know this. Many of them were past few decades. I’d describe it as
difficult. I personally can think of at least 6 minutes to get away. view of threat and safety is a primi- not. Battles have raged throughout the “age of the threat.” Suddenly,
3 different places that it would This means that, if people want to tive way of dealing with the world. It history, from the Crusades to the we are greeted with the message
be easy to store 3 or more hand- be defended, they must take their allows for no nuances, no ad- World Wars to the politi- to isolate. Never before has society
guns for smuggling purposes own defense into their own hands. justments, and ultimate- cal battle waged been so fractured. Life is all about
in an unmodified car, and with I am not saying that the found- ly no coexistence. Unfortunately, by the “Moral who you like, and who else is out
a few alterations, many, many ing fathers saw all of this when I n t o d a y ’s Majority.” to get you. Gone is the sentiment
more. Therefore, with smuggling they wrote the law, but they might world, the out- for the evolving world, T h e y that what is good for the whole is
not being impossible, all a ban have. If a criminal knows for a dated prac- have all good for every individual, other-
would do is remove guns from the fact I have a gun in my house, tice of see- man’s tendency to seek-and- ended wise known as the greater good.
hands of the innocents, from the they will not enter my house, but
victims, and not from criminals. instead pick an easier target. That
ing the un-
known as a
destroy perceived threats destroys w i t h
t h e
Fortunately, the only real threat
is buying in to all of the hype. The
Furthermore, the National Center response is self-preservation and threat and the real- only real threat is allowing polar-
for Policy Analysis (NCPA) found
efforts at diplomacy and
basic human instinct. There is known as safe- ization ization, and allowing the restric-
that after the enforcement of the a reason that nothing is scarier ty is largely an cooperation. that sur- tion of freedom and knowledge.
D.C. gun ban in 1972, crime rates than the clean, metallic sound of unacknowledged vival is de- Therefore, I will be starting a new
rose 134% [1] as well as crime a cocking shotgun in the middle instinct. Unfortunately, pendent on column. With apologies to Stephen
rate in several other locations ris- of the night, because guns work for the evolving world, man’s overlooking our dif- Colbert’s “Threat Down,” it will be
ing after similar restrictions. Take without even needing to be tendency to seek-and-destroy ferences to celebrate the whole. called “Threat of the Weak.” Surely
a look at Kennesaw, GA, which in fired. Gun bans cause the cliché perceived threats destroys efforts Inevitably, the differences turn there will be enough division to
1981 enacted a law requiring ev- saying “If you outlaw guns, only at diplomacy and cooperation. out to be not so large after all. dissect for years to come. If not,
ery household to own a weapon outlaws will have guns” to come Somehow, the current state of Threats are the weak man’s tool a new age of mankind will have
and ammunition for it; crime rates true, and that is a very bad thing. the world has devolved into a type for control. There have been many dawned. I’m not holding my breath.
dropped more than 50% [2]. So, [1] http://www.ncpa.org/ of internal warfare. This is the result “chief threats” named throughout
gun bans do not work, but the ex- Editorials Policy
pub/st/st176/s176c.html of selfishness and greed, as well as history. Among them: the Jews,
act opposite of a gun ban does. [ 2 ] h t t p : / / w w w. w n d . misunderstanding and distrust. And the lepers, the Christians, the The Oredigger is a designated public forum.
Finally, he claims that “it’s Editors have the authority to make all con-
com/news/article. so goes the predicament: How is Romans, the Huns, the pagans, tent decisions without censorship or advance
not the public’s job to defend asp?ARTICLE_ID=55288 man supposed to survive without the Protestants, the Muslims, the approval and may edit submitted pieces for
themselves” and “self defense is length so long as the original meaning of
[ 3 ] h t t p : / / w w w. u s a - destroying what is being fought over? women, the Communists, the the piece is unchanged. Opinions contained
unacceptable”. These claims are t o d a y. c o m / n e w s / n a - The thought that our divides blacks, the Germans, the Japa- within the Opinion Section do not necessarily
completely outrageous. First off, reflect those of Colorado School of Mines or
t i o n / e m s - d a y 2 - c o v e r. h t m will destroy us, unfortunately, tran- nese, the scientists, and the homo- The Oredigger. The Oredigger does not ac-
official response times around the scends politics. It has been asserted sexuals. The list goes on and on. cept submissions without identification and will
Sincerely, consider all requests for anonymity in publica-
nation, according to a USA Today that there are “two Americas.” When a perceived threat is trum-
Josh Black tion on a case-by-case basis. Submissions
investigation [3], average about 6 From the perspective of the Left, peted, it culminates in death. It’s that less than 300 words will receive preference.

w w w . O R E D I G G E R . n e t
April 14, 2008 s a t i r e Page 11

Guggenheim bells replaced Giant Ruffles attack!


by Star Trek theme Loss of Coors factory causes student action
Cameron Frisby
Student quality of life increases Scared and Hungry
Richter scale rocks Golden.
Mass ingestion of our local beer
from the ground up. New brew-
ing, packaging, storage, and
Thursday, the third of April, 2008. had simultaneously created the distribution facilities had been
Tim Weilert tolling of the bells. Instead of using No longer will this day be re- world’s most epic burps in all twen- added, along with a twenty-thou-
Trekkie an AM/PM 12 hour setting, the bell membered as E-Days’ kick off, it ty-seven of the Ruffles giants. The sand square foot sampling bar
tower will work on a military style shall forever be commemorated extreme release of gas ripped the to replace the old Coors Lab.
In a controversial move that will 24 hour setting. “For each hour, as the day Golden was beset by Coors factory to shreds, and with When construction was fin-
surely go down in CSM history, the the entire theme will play through,” angry, monstrous potato chips. it went the terrorizing potato chips. ished, and the entire student body
president’s office has decided to al- explained bell repair man Bob Bel- After ravaging the town for sev- Loss of the factory sparked lounged about enjoying the lifetime
ter one of the school’s enduring tra- lington, “At 12 AM, the song will eral hours, the mutant munchies mass grief rallies at bars, college of free beer they had earned,
ditions, the hourly bells in Gugen- play 24 times, and the students successfully penetrated the heavily campuses, and trailer parks across someone asked, “Where did those
heim Hall. “We had a problem on will rejoice with each passing hour.” guarded Coors Brewery. Little did the nation. Additionally, due to a giant Ruffles come from anyway?”
hands,” explained Mines president An alternate idea they know that their doom awaited technicality in the insurance plan Investigation began after this
Bill Scoggins. “Our students were was also pro- them inside our local brewery. (attack by giant snack foods was overly curious student had been
becoming increasingly depressed, posed, play- Anyone that drinks beer can tell not included), the Coors Brew- sufficiently pummeled for ruining the
and we had no idea of how ing the Star you that elephantine burps await ing factory did not receive suf- perfect peace of a lazy afternoon.
to cheer them up. Then Wars theme those that drink cheap beer too ficient compensation to rebuild Tw o m i n u t e s o f re s e a rc h
we realized some- song each quickly. When you add food to the their massive industrial complex. revealed that the chips must
thing: most Mines hour. However, a equation, earth-shaking belches Faced with the possibility of no h a v e c o m e f ro m F r i t o - L a y ’s
students are CER
ICIA team of psycholo- await. From curry to chips, you do longer being able to go to Coors m a i n p l a n t i n P l a n o , Te x a s .
MAR
avid Star TINE
Z gists decided that not want to be around when these Lab during free time, the students By drawing a straight line from
Trek fans.” this would in fact in- enormous discharges of gas occur. of CSM officially renamed the the plant in Plano, Texas, to Golden
While only 15% of the crease student depres- Back to our mutant Ruffles, the university the Colorado School one can see that the only thing that
student population and 30% of sion. “I love the original trilogy,” potato monstrosities had invaded of Brewing and went to work on could have seen this attack com-
the faculty can speak Klingon, an explained CSM Junior Charles the packaging room and had di- rebuilding the beloved brewery. ing was about four million cows.
astounding 100% of the total CSM ‘the wookie’ Williams, “But that verted the flow of cool brew directly Fortunately this kind of activ- Next step in the battle plan,
campus claim to have goals rang- song always reminds me of the into their large salty stomachs. ity fits perfectly into the school’s make nice with our contacts at
ing from “living long” to “prosper- shitty episodes I, II, & III.” Golden Soon after the beer con- belief of learning by doing, so the Lockheed Martin and arrange
ing.” For that reason, the bell tower, residents have protested the de- sumption had begun, the Coors faculty just ran with it (methinks for a “training incident” to occur
in the historic Gugenheim Hall, will cision, claiming that the theme started to react with the giant they missed the beer as well). at the Frito-Lay headquarters.
be adjusted to play the theme song song from Tony Danza’s televi- monsters that had consumed it. Nine months of intensive work Always remain proud that you go
from Star Trek: The Next Gen- sion series Charles In Charge Two forty-two PM: An ex- and swarming engineering stu- to a school that will forever receive
eration instead of the usual hourly would be a better alternative. p l o s i o n re a d i n g 3 . 5 o n t h e dents saw the rebirth of Coors daily shipments of cold, free beer!

National mouthwash shortage


Mines campus unaffected by lack of Listerine
Cameron Frisby The immediate results of this an- child or boyfriend and girlfriend.
Toothpaste Connoisseur nouncement horrify the administra- These days, calling someone a
tion still today. The pure joy of every koala will almost certainly result
A drastic increase in the price freshman swept across the campus in admission to a hospital for Ways to Make Extra Ca$h at Mines
of Eucalyptol, a key ingredient in in a week-long wave of parties, viscous, brawl-induced injuries.
the production of all brands of booze, and Chem book bonfires. In the face of bankruptcy and Matthew Pusard
mouthwash, has lead to the worst Even though the Regis- disgrace, the scientists at Listerine Financier
oral hygiene crisis in 135 years. trar initially sought to improve locked themselves in the laboratory
Eucalyptol comes primarily hygiene among the students, for months on end until they stumbled 10. Sell a kidney.
from the Eucalyptus tree of Aus- they should have walked around upon the solution to their problem.
tralia. Since the United Nations on day four of partying and en- Comically, the head of research 9. Sell 2 kidneys.
lifted the ban on own- proudly raised and loved
ing koalas as pets, the his private family of koa-
8. Don’t eat at the Slate café. The
price of Eucalyptus has las. Early one Tuesday money saved by eating there will be
shot through the roof morning he accidentally
as celebrities and rich woke the oldest koala, wasted on having your stomach pumped
people everywhere dubbed “Snuggle Bun-
rush to secure a stable ny.” Angry at being dis-
afterwards.
food supply for their turbed, Snuggle Bunny 7. Buy up Bear Sterns stock. It’s extra
newest fuzzy, cute pet. left a deep gash in the
Listerine, Col- researcher’s arm, cour- cheap these days.
gate, Scope. It is all tesy of her powerful jaws.
6. Sell your homework on Craig’s List
COURTESY WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

g o n e , t h e h o r r o r. At work that day,


C o n s e q u e n t l y, our favorite researcher 5. Give the school an IOU instead of
the sales of tooth- sought relief from his
paste and sugar-free recent battle wound and paying tuition
gum have exploded. dipped his arm in the
Due to our campus’ cooling mixture that is
4. Become a joke trick and sell your
low level of personal Eucalyptol-free Listerine. stuff to the school newspaper. It pays
hygiene, we have been Surprisingly, enough
unaffected by the latest Koala saliva remained well. Trust me.
national crisis. A failed deep within the laceration
attempt to take a poll
Furry and fun: Mmmm Koala saliva.
to provide the necessary
3. Become a harlot and sell yourself on
regarding the student body’s feel- joyed the odor of dried vomit, Eucalyptol to return the Listerine for- the streets. It pays well. Trust me.
ings on the matter of “the great sweat, and rancid moldy pizza. mula back to its original minty glory.
mouthwash shortage of ‘08” was Anyway, due to the raging This illuminating fact initiated the 2. Get into one of those college house-
met by confusion (most did not mouthwash shortage the koala creation of Koala milking institutions,
even know what mouthwash was). has gone from an adorable symbol places where the furry little mam-
painting pyramid schemes where 10% of
To counteract this startling of Australia to the blazing insig- mals can laze around all day for the people break even. The odds are on your
new discovery, the Mines Reg- nia of bad breath and gingivitis. small price of a pint or two of saliva.
istrar replaced Chemistry I and Once the saying “my cute Next time you enjoy the minty side.
II with a new class: Health 101, little koala bear” represented freshness of Listerine, just remember
“Engineering a better you.” affection between mother and that you are swishing with Koala spit.
1. Two words: Call Dad.

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Page 12 a d v e r t i s e m e n t April 14, 2008

Club and Intramural Sports


Post E-Days Decree
All Club And IM Champions
Must Be Recognized!

NCAA Pick EM
Kevin Franzen

WWW.CSMRECSPORTS.COM
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