Arrogance at Work

People are dissimilar in terms of their approach and behavior towards others. Sometimes, when interacting with others, people behave arrogantly, which is normally considered rude. Such issues can be attributed to ones upbringing, authority hogging, ostentation of wealth, status consciousness, psychiatric complexes, comparing oneself to others etc. I think theres a fine line between confidence and arrogance because if the person is confident and he/she realizes that, then theres a possibility that lack of tolerance, discounting others opinions and certain level of bias can develop in him/her. As a result, a balanced work relationship is hard to achieve. No matter how good they are with their work, people tend to avoid interacting with them unless necessary. Kindly share your opinion on this. Furthermore, I would welcome your personal experiences regarding the same. How you handle/tackle such behavior at your workplace or otherwise? Comments can also be posted at http://blog.ephlux.com/?p=495

Hi Salima I think the first challenge is to have clarity around what arrogance is, and what contributes to/supports it. 'Arrogance', like rudeness (or politeness), is a label/ interpretation covering a range of behavioral and attitudinal traits. As a coach/consultant, I often have client employees (at all levels) complaining about some individual's 'arrogance'. When I ask them what the person actually does that leads them to conclude he or she is arrogant, here are the common responses I get: (Many of these have been surfaced by others in earlier answers): > Raises their voice/shouts frequently > Gives terse/brusque answers to questions > Makes decisions based solely on their own views and experience -- Doesn't solicit or even listen to/consider input from others -- Interrupts/talks over others > Frequently cites (superior) educational credentials/years of experience to justify courses of action > Works alone, doesn't share information; keeps their office door closed. > Does a lot of finger-pointing -- focuses on who to blame versus how to fix things when things go wrong > Focuses on 'finding the flaw' in others' work > They can't remember my name and I've worked for/with them for years. There are a number of causal factors that need to be considered, as the 'solution' to the issue may be very different. As Herb pointed out, MBTI differences (especially the E/I and J/P dimensions) can create friction and misperceptions in the workplace. If these differences can be surfaced, understood for what they are and managed they can create compatible strengths within the team or relationship. Additionally, if it is a cross-cultural workplace, cultural differences may affect perceptions of what is 'arrogant' behavior. Again, dealing with these issues is a matter of surfacing and understanding differences and agreeing how to operate together to enable the best performance from everyone. I have consulted with corporate cultures which selected for, valued and rewarded individualistic, highly competitive, 'shooting from the hip', 'driving to deliver results' behaviors. In these situations, most people who don't fit the template will leave (or be fired) and overall cultural change really has to be undertaken, if the situation is to be improved.

Finally, there are people who intentionally or unintentionally exhibit behaviour interpreted as 'arrogant'. When I have coached managers -- and/or employees who aspire to move up the ladder -- in the first case, I usually find that they have patterned their 'leadership' style off a manager/executive/ technical specialist they have admired and perceived as highly effective. These people want to be good leaders/employees and erroneously believe this is the best way of accomplishing it. Hence, if they can be coached/developed by HR, a consultant, a mentor, etc, I've found they can be easily turned around. The final category is people who unconsciously operate in a way that others perceive as arrogant. In some of these cases, the individual's attitude was not arrogant, but they had mannerisms that created that impression -- for example, one person who raised his voice and jabbed his finger in people's faces at meetings. He was totally unaware he was doing this, and it was easy to fix. Hence, one of the solutions in dealing with arrogant bosses/colleagues in the workplace is to begin with 'assumption of innocence', and a statement/question to the effect of: " When you do/say X -- (descriptive, non-judgmental observation), I (feel/interpret that in) this way. Is that what you intended/meant? Finally, there are a few people who are unconsciously but irredeemably arrogant in attitude and behaviour due to psychopathology and early childhood trauma. Often they re-create 'scripts' from their early life -- trying to get a better outcome. Sometimes these people can thru interventions like one I'll describe in a clarification; but often therapy is required.

Many perceptions of arrogance are due to misunderstandings by extroverts concerning the behavior of self-confident introverts. The former often assume that the latter are arrogant because they tend to keep to themselves and have no real need for frequent social interaction. Allow me to back up a little: The most common mistake made by us human beings is the assumption that other people think like we do. But the reality is that, even at the most basic levels, we think very differently. Extroversion versus introversion is a prime example. There are huge differences it the ways in which these two kinds of people behave in social situations. Regardless of culture or nationality, extroverts outnumber introverts by about 2 to 1. So automatically most of the people in your office will be extroverts. Extroverts NEED frequent social interaction; they are externally focused and the opinions of other people generally carry more weight with them than their own opinions of themselves. Introverts, on the other hand, do not NEED social interaction; they are internally focused and value their own opinions of themselves more than those of other people. (Were talking about people here, so there are always exceptions.) So the basic situation is this: Youve automatically got a lot more extroverts than introverts in your office, and most of these extroverts consistently make that most common human error: They believe that everyone else thinks as they do. In this case, they believe that everyone else is extroverted, as they are. Quiet people, to them, are just shy or lack self-confidence. They believe that these quiet people would act as extroverts (read: normally) if they could just get past their issues. Enter the self-confident introvert. This person is obviously not shy. Nor is he (or she) lacking in self-confidence. However this person prefers to sit by himself and read a book at lunch-time rather than chat-- and this is blasphemy to the extrovert, to whom lunch-time is social time! The introvert usually doesnt participate in the morning kaffee klatsch. Recently he may also have failed to inform you that he had just bought a new car, so he definitely thinks hes too good to associate with the likes of you! This is proof that hes an arrogant snob! But the reality is: while an

extrovert simply has to tell everyone about the new car she just bought, it doesnt occur to the introvert that anyone else would be interested in his. I have seen this perception of introverts by extroverts get traction hundreds of times in my career. Its not harmless. A self-fulfilling prophesy occurs in which an introvert who is considered arrogant by his coworkers will withdraw completely from office social life. (Extroverts, listen please: understand that an introvert can actually do that and not suffer emotionally.) Sooner or later, the isolated introvert will become GENUINELY arrogant- especially if he or she is very good at what she does or has special skills or experience. Then you have a real, not a perceptual, problem on your hands. The good news is that this situation is easy to prevent. A module on Extroversion/Introversion in diversity training is all that it takes to create the awareness necessary to avoid the whole problem. I have personally taught this many times and have seen very positive results, without exception. BTW: In case anyone thinks Im singling out extroverts for rough treatment: There are also perceptual mistakes made by introverts about extroverts that can be just as damaging.

How to Deal With a Rude, Arrogant and Mean Subordinate

An employee who is rude, arrogant and mean can disrupt workplace productivity, intimidate coworkers, corrupt a team and lead to potential legal or safety problems for a business. Dealing with aggressive and antagonistic behavior is challenging for any manager. Resolution of this disruptive employee issue requires planning and confident action to avoid legal problems for you or your company. Document the behavior: Include dates, a detailed description of each incident and who reported/witnessed it. Evaluate the behavior: Is the behavior directed to you, customers, coworkers? How aggressive is the behavior? Is the employee experiencing a personal issue or problem that could be causing the behavior? Review the company employee manual for guidelines on employee disciplinary process. Contact your companys Human Resource Department to get support and guidance . If your company does not have a Human Resources Professional, you may want to discuss a plan of action with your immediate supervisor or a Human Resources Consultant. Establish a plan of disciplinary action based on your documentation, evaluation, company guidelines or Human Resource consultant recommendations . Most company employee manuals use a version of a progressive disciplinary plan for addressing employee behavior or performance issues. Typical disciplinary plans include the following - Verbal discussion and warning, Written warning (up to three occurrences),Termination.

Verbal Discussion and Warning: The purpose of a verbal warning is to let the employee know that they are doing something that is not acceptable in the workplace. It's also an opportunity to resolve the situation. Keep in mind that the employee may not be aware that they are behaving in an offensive way. This face-to-face meeting may require from 15 minutes to an hour to complete. Be open, calm and confident in your approach. In a direct way, provide specific examples of the offensive behavior and ask the employee if there is an explanation for their actions. Even though you are giving the employee a chance to explain their behavior, it is important to be clear to say that the behavior is not acceptable. If the employee is open to coaching or training to improve their communication skills, schedule a meeting to discuss. Provide the employee with a copy of the page/s in the employee manual where the disciplinary procedure is explained. After the meeting, document what was said or agreed upon. Warning Letter: If the employee continues to act in an arrogant, rude or mean way, it is important to address the behavior immediately with a letter of warning. Inconsistency on your part will only make the problem worse. In the warning letter, provide a short review of the past discussion and verbal warning. Then, clearly state the specific behavior or action leading to the written warning along with the date it occurred.

Termination: If the employee's behavior has not improved after three warnings, termination should be considered. Consult your Human Resource Manager or direct supervisor before terminating any employee.

Manager Tips: To build your confidence and prepare for antagonistic responses from the employee in a verbal warning meeting, role play with another company manager.

If the employee's behavior is violent or creates a dangerous situation for the company or employees of the company, immediate termination should be considered. If your company does not have an employee manual or policies for fair employee treatment, it (and you) could be at greater legal risk for actions in hiring, managing and discipline of employees

How to deal with difficult personalities

By Cynthia Steele-Pucci Aggressive, Demeaning, Arrogant, Insubordinate, Untrustworthy, Demanding, Unproductive. Ever have a nightmare employee? You know, the one that gets on your nerves you before you can even grab a cup of coffee in the morning. Some difficult personalities are extremely overbearing. Others can deposit a dark cloud over the entire office. One of the biggest challenges in dealing with difficult employees is remaining professional. It's hard to ignore a difficult person who sits in the next cubicle. It's extremely trying when they are arrogant, unyielding or just down right rude. It's even worse when they have a drug or alcohol problem. Especially when they come to work smelling of alcohol. So how can you handle a difficult employee? Well, you can pray the employee will tell you they are moving across country tomorrow. Or you can hope that your co-worker will be transferred to a new department. But wishing for them to change is not the answer. Figuring out how to deal with them is your best option. Keep in mind; everyone comes into the workplace with his or her own set of issues. While it can be tough not to look at it that way, most of the time, their attitude has nothing to do with you. Here are descriptions of six difficult employees and some ways to cope with them: Perfectionists These people usually have their own set of issues. It's hard for them to let go. They are never satisfied with their work and are probably their own worst critic. They take forever to get a project or assignment done, because they are always trying to tweak it. The best way to deal with someone like this is to set a deadline and stick to it. The Perfectionist also has a hard time with criticism. For instance, if the Perfectionist gets an almost perfect review at work, they will focus on the part that they didn't do well in, instead of looking at the overall score. Help your coworker see the bigger picture instead of focusing on the small stuff. You need to help them relax and encourage them to "Let Go!" Negative Employees There are actually several types of negative employees: pessimists, criticizers and just down right negative personalities. Pessimists see the glass as half empty. Nothing ever seems to go right for them. If the pessimist were on the first commercial space ship, their reaction would be "Yeah, the trip to the moon was exciting, but the food was real bad and the ride was so long!" Criticizers displace many of their own anxieties onto others. They criticize others to make themselves look and/or feel better. Typically they are the ones who make fun of others, pointing out things like who is the worst dressed. Often they seem to pick fights with others for no particular reason. They'll disagree just for the sake of disagreeing. While you need to keep in mind that his or her insecurities are at work, it's extremely difficult to be around someone who's negative or critical. Criticizers can affect your mood. Unchecked they can create a black cloud over the entire office. Supervisors can help negative employees by focusing on their strong points, pointing out where they excel. Developing an area they can take charge of also helps to build a positive attitude. Finally, discussing performance on an ongoing basis can be a positive reinforcer.

If you are not the supervisor, complimenting someone on job well done can help keep their attention on the "upside" rather than the "down side" of life. Dictators/Autocrats These people can be very trying in the workplace. They will walk all over you if you let them. This type of personality can be especially troubling if they are not your supervisor. The Dictator/Autocrat will tell you how to do your job or make lots of demands on you. They will stomp all over you if you let them. The best way to handle this type is not to allow it in the first place. There are different ways that you can handle the situation. It is helpful to use "I statements". For example, say "I feel uncomfortable when you try and tell me how to do my job. I've been working here for two years now, and I know how to do that." Or, "Although I appreciate your advice, I will handle my work the way that I normally do, and perhaps it is best for you to concentrate on your job." If you are not the supervisor and this person continues to harass you, take it to your boss and insist that you will not be treated that way. "Out To Lunch" Employees There's usually one person in the office who never does their fair share. This is the employee who takes long breaks, is making personal phone calls or constantly socializes. These employees work best with a lot of structure. Although, many employees complain about micromanagers, this personality type definitely needs it. If you are not the supervisor, you can still talk to your colleague, particularly, if you are the one picking up the slack. Try not to be too critical. If you criticize they may focus on the criticism instead of listening to the problem. Using "I statements" helps ward off defensiveness. For instance, if you had to complete their project say, "I was upset on Wednesday when you left that assignment for me to do. Please check with me in the future if you need my help and I'll let you know if I am available." If the person continues this behavior, talk with your supervisor. Substance Users/Abusers If an employee has an alcohol or drug problem, speak with your manager privately. If you are friends, you may want to approach the subject delicately. But, be careful. You might be treading in deep water. Always pursue substance abuse issues cautiously. Get advice before you act. If you can smell alcohol on the worker, or can tell that they are using drugs, tell your boss immediately. So the situation can be examined on the spot. When, there are no obvious signs, keep notes, so that you can build evidence of the problem. Most companies are required to have written policies on handling substance abuse. Read your employee handbook to get clear ideas of how you can pursue the issue. If your immediate supervisor does not respond, talk to someone in human resources. If you work for a small company and there seems to be no action to your complaint, call your local Department of Labor or the Labor Board. Grouches/Moody Employees These people can be a nuisance. But they are less dangerous than other personalities. When a coworker seems to "cop an attitude" try asking them if everything is OK.

Usually they will respond, "Yes, why?" This opens the door for you to say something like, "You don't seem to be in a good mood today. Is there anything wrong?" In my experience, people will either calm down or apologize and say what is bothering them. This doesn't mean you should become a therapist, but at least it will break the tension. Dealing with difficult personalities can be challenging. While supervisors may be tempted to fire them, research has shown that the best alternative is to learn how to handle the person and keep them in their job. Firing someone is not always the solution because it is costly to hire and train a new employee. The next time you are faced with a difficult person try to view it as a learning experience. Becoming a better communicator will help you diffuse problems as they arise. And in the long run, being able to deal with all types of personalities will be a feather in your cap. One you can use to move up the ladder.