Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 12

The Voice of Montana State University Billings for Over Half a Century

October 19, 2012


Ben Degel Contributing Writer
ing with Venture Theater full time as the Youth Outreach Educator. He put up productions around the Billings area with youth ranging from grades 1-8. For 5 years he did workshops, taught summer classes and theater skills in the Youth Conservatory. After 5 years with Venture Theater, Wilson is moving on and exploring what he chooses to call, His Year. His plans are to direct productions that he gets excited about. His first play that he is going to direct will be one that he was introduced to 4 years ago by a friend of his. The play is called Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead written by Bert Royal. The play was a lovehate relationship from the start for Wilson. After trying to push the play around to other directors, he finally decided that he was going to have to do it himself. Wilson sums the play up as, Charles Schultzs Peanuts characters behaving badly. The story

www.MSUBretort.org

Volume 88, Issue 3


see an underlying message that shows what we as people deal with every day in society with bullying and violence in school. Always ready for and welcoming criticism, Wilson knows its going to be shocking. Wilson said his big drive for this script was that we all have those watershed moments, the moments in life that we cant go back from moments in life where we are irrevocably changed and all we can do is move forward. With this play being a little close to the limits, Wilson had to choose carefully how he got his cast. Instead of introducing a script on audition day, he had a checklist, and if auditioners were not willing to do the things on the checklist, then the play wasnt for them. From this filtering process, he found his cast of 8 actors and had his play in works. The one thing above all else is that its a play; we are simply playing- like when we were young kids playing cops and robbers, only now there is a script. Patricks goal is to explore his own aesthetic and develop who he is as a director and an artist. His work on the play isnt the only project he has going. He started GO!, the artist workshop, and is working with several local slam poets on a project called I Conjure a Stubborn Faith for Ventures Fringe Festival. These are things he is drawn to; not necessarily huge, musical productions, but small, local, in-house productions like Dog Sees God. This is his year to ask: What If? Starting in Venture Theater and building on his accomplishments, Wilson is now ready to make his break for his own growing path to art and theater. To me it is beautiful when a poet comes to a play because they are listening to the way the language sounds, and when a visual artist speaks about a sound piece because they are looking at how it looks, not how it sounds. Look forward to seeing and hearing more about Wilson and his workings, in the future. Dog Sees God will be performing on November 14-17 at MSU Billings in the LA building, 6th floor theatre.

Wilson Wilsons latest production takes on challenging issues


m more upset that people are upset about two boys kissing than they are about kids who are killing themselves, Patick Wilson, an up-and-coming Billings director said. Wilson has been involved in theater for the last 15 years. He came to MSUB in 1997 to pursue a Bachelors Degree in Music Performance in tuba. He realized that this path was not really what he expected it to be, and moved on to his next love: performing arts and theater. He auditioned for a Musical here at MSU Billings called Closer than Ever, directed by Mace Archer, who was in the process of founding Venture Theater, which would later become a popular venue for the performing arts. While pursuing his Bachelors degree in Arts and Theater, Wilson began working with Venture. After getting his degree, Wilson returned to school a year later and not liking being without a job Wilson got a Teaching Certificate. A year and a half later, he was work-

Dog Sees God November 14-17 line behind Dog sees God is of a jock-ish bully named CB, who experiences a life changing event which causes him to start questioning himself and everything he would consider the norm. With no answers to his questions and doubts from the other kids around him, CB is found alone. It is until he hears the sound of a

Photo by Patrick Wilson

piano from the music room, where he finds Beethoven, an outcast playing music alone. It is here that Beethoven hears CBs story and soon a love and romance begins. CBs big challenge in the play is who am I, and where do I fit in in this world? With Beethoven teaching CB what it means to be a decent person, we

By PATRICIA HAMPTON News & Campus Life Writer


ontana State University Billings was recently the host of three political debates for the current election session. The debates featured the candidates for the U.S. House of Representatives, the U.S. Senate, and the Montana Gubernatorial race. The doors to Petro Theatre where the debates were held opened forty-five minutes prior to the start program, and each lasted for one hour. Hours before each of the debates, the campus came alive with student and university officials preparing the facility for the event, and attendees arriving to stake out some space to display signs and posters promoting their candidates. Steve Prosinski of the Billings Gazette was the lead moderator for each of the debates, introducing the candidates and panel of moderators, and reviewing the guidelines that candidates were to follow in answering questions.

Montana state university billings HOSTs political debates


The panel included Chuck S. Johnson, the Chief Editor of the Gazette State Bureau; Mike Dennison of the Gazette State Bureau; and Jackie Yamanaka of NPR News On Tuesday, October 4th, at 6 pm, the University hosted the first of the three debates the U.S. House of Representative debate between Billings Democrat Kim Gillan and Bozeman Republican Steve Daines. The most heated topic of the evening was with respect to the candidates views on taxing and its impact on the federal deficit. While Gillan advocates are strongly for not allowing an abundance of tax breaks for the wealthy, Daines believes firmly in ensuring that tax rates are not increased. An estimated 350 people attended this debate. The second debate was held on Monday, October 8th, at 7pm, between Republican Denny Rehberg and incumbent Democratic Senator Jon Tester for the U.S. Senate seat. individuals attended this debate. Political Action Director Ryan Shore, a member of the executive cabinet of the Associated Students of Montana State University Billings, initially contacted Dan Carter, Director of University Relations about hosting these debates on campus. While Shore influenced students to attend and take on a more active role in the upcoming elections, Carter worked closely with no questions regarding higher the Billings Chamber and education were posed. the Billings Gazette to bring The third a b o u t Anytime we get stuand final t h e s e debate be- dents asking questions events. tween Dem- or sharing what theyve Shore ocrat Attor- learned through these b e l ie v e d ney General opportunities, weve the deSteve Bullbates to be had a successful event, an ock and Reoverpublican former U.S. Repre- all success, not only for the sentative Rick Hill for the gu- University, but for educatbernatorial race, was held on ing our students and commuTuesday, October 9th, at 6 pm. nity about the candidates runIssues debated between these ning for their respective positwo candidates included tax- tions. An advocate for stuation, medical marijuana, and dents voices being heard, abortion. Approximately 400 as Political Action Director, Shore was also responsible for the mailing of voter registration cards and information to all actively enrolled students earlier this Fall, to increase the student voice in the upcoming elections. I had many encounters with students after each of the debates asking me further questions about what they heard or sharing with me what they thought. Anytime we get students asking questions or sharing what theyve learned through these opportunities, weve had a successful event, commented Shore. Clearly, the debates held at MSU Billings were an excellent opportunity for both the University and its faculty, staff, and students to participate and become more informed before Election Day.

This was by far the most anticipated of the three debates. By three oclock that afternoon the parking lot was already becoming home to the candidates advocates donning t-shirts and carrying signs in favor of their candidate. Petro Theatre was above capacity that evening, with an estimated attendance of 600. Topics debated between Rehberg and Tester included the Recovery Act, partisanship, and Healthcare. Considering that the debate was held on the University Campus, it was somewhat surprising that

Check out our election issue out Nov. 2 and submit your opinions by Oct. 25

Montana State University Billings Student Union Building 228 1500 University Drive Billings, MT 59101 Phone: 406-657-2193 Fax: 406-657-2388 E-mail: msubretort@gmail.com www.msubretort.org

The Retort encourages the submission of Letters To The Editor. Letters must be under 750 words in length and include a name and phone number. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space and possible libel. Letters should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, or staff of MSU Billings. The Retort is published monthly. Letters must be submitted by our submission date (ten days prior to our next publication date). Submit Letters To The Editor to editor@msubretort.org The Retort is made possible in part by student fees allocated by ASMSUB. The Publications Board of ASMSUB advises The Retort, leaving content decisions to the editors. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that The Retort articles and other information in this publication and website are up-to-date and accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by The Retort or Montana State University Billings for any errors or omissions contained herein or online. Furthermore, responsibility for any losses, damages or distress resulting from adherence to any information made available through this publication and our website is not the responsibility of The Retort or Montana State University Billings. The opinions by expressed columnists are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Retort or Montana State University Billings.

Guidelines & Policies


ly hours, hours are days. Staring at computer screens working on layout for hours on end is enough to drive anyone up the wall, out the window and over the edge. But, in the Retort office, its like some kind of hypnosis where nothing else exists: not the strange celtic music playing in the SUB halls at 1 a.m. or even the strange smell that permeates from the office cupboards. The Retort immerses you, eats you alive, then spits you out days later and asks you to do it all again next week before the deadline. Aside from the fun and merriment that comes with Fall and Halloween festivities, I want to address a more serious matter. An opinion piece from our last issue, titled MSUB, Smoking and Godwins Law offended some of our readers. While we apologize if the piece hurt anybodys feelings, unfortunately, we cannot apologize for printing it. When printing news articles, our primary mission is to portray the truth, but when publishing opinion articles, our primary mission is free speech. The Retort did not, and still does not, agree with the opinion of the author; however it is inappropriate for us to pick and choose solely on the basis of whether or not we agree. We are obviously huge supporters of campus organizations, especially HEROES, thus the reason we started our Featured Club column. Also, there were some questions and confusion regarding our policy on anonymity. We apologize for the confusion, and want to clear things up. We do not accept anonymous submissions, however, the writer of the Ayn Onimous column is not anonymous to Retort editors, he/she asked us to protect his/her identity, which we will. While many of the complaints I heard regarding this piece were articulated verbally, with anger, I am disappointed to report that we received no written rebuffs regarding said complaints, aside from the article on page 8 written by one of our own staff writers. I only wish the people who were offended by the article had, instead of confronting me and Retort staff about personal opinions regarding the piece, written about and submitted to The Retort. We are, after all, a newspaper; a newspaper titled, The Retort, no less. Our next issue, coming out on November 2nd (deadline October 25th), is out Election Issue and I look forward to getting submissions about what you, our readers, feel passionate about regarding the upcoming election! Please direct your attention to our Submissions page at msubretort.com or to the left of this page for more information on how to submit to The Retort.

Advertising & Subscriptions


For advertising information, please email us at business@msubretort.org or visit the ad rates section of our website at http://www.msubretort.org/ads.php. Subscriptions to students, parents of students, alumni, faculty, or staff are available for simply the cost of postage. For more information about subscriptions, please contact us at business@msubretort.org or 406 657 2193. If youd like to order a back issue of The Retort, the cost will be $5.00 plus the cost of postage. Email us our business manager at business@msubretort.org to check issue availability and for more information.

The Retort encourages the submission of student writing including, but not limited to: reviews, features, editorials, creative writing, or Letters to the Editor. Articles must be under 600 words in length, typed and include a first and last name and phone number. Writing submitted anonymously will not be published. The Retort reserves the right to edit for space or for the reasons stated above. All writing should deal with subject matter relevant to the students, faculty, staff of MSU Billings and the surrounding Billings community. The Retort is published semi-monthly and writing must be submitted by the deadlines listed below All submitted writing become the property of The Retort and cannot be returned. Please submit writing to msubretort@gmail.com or access our submission page on our webpage at www.msubretort.com. You may also drop writing by The Retort office in the SUB Room 220. Please direct questions or comments about submissions to editor@msubretort.org

Deadlines & Publication


September 13, 2012 September 27, 2012 October 11, 2012 October 25, 2012 November 8, 20112 November 29, 2012 January 24, 2013 February 7, 2013 February 21, 2013 March 7, 2013 April 4, 2013 April 18, 2013 September 21, 2012 October 5, 2012 October 19, 2012 November 2, 2012 November 16, 2012 December 7, 2012 February 1, 2013 February 15, 2013 March 1, 2013 March 15, 2013 April 12, 2013 April 26, 2013

Faculty Advisor Editor-in-Chief Business Manager Design Editor Copy Editor Online Editor News & Campus Life Writer Sports Writer A&E Writer Outdoor Writer Columnist Columnist Contributing Writer Contributing Writer Photographer

Dan Carter Leah Campbell Jared Hammer James Dean Hickman Jennifer Otis Chris Claus Patricia Hampton Cory Lovec Serene Crees Tabby Maust Paulina Carrillo Tiff Hall Ben Degel Ayn Onymous Amy Tackett

am very excited to introduce Retort readers to our first ever Halloween themed issue. As you read through this issue, you will find your fair share of odd and scary to get you in the mood for the season. Our short scary story contest winner is announced and published on page 7! The lucky winner received a $50 gift card to Jackets & Co. and got an entire page to be creepy. You can read some of our other submissions on The Retort website as well at msubretort.com. I can honestly say that it was a tough for The Retort staff and I to pick a winner! If you didnt get that $50 gift card this time around, dont worry- we will be announcing more writing contests throughout the year so keep your eyes out for those! After reading all the short scary stories for the contest, and getting into the general mood of Halloween, I have come to realize that The Retort is more than a newspaper- it is an overpowering and dangerous force. When I first started working for The Retort my freshman year, I remember Bailey Martin telling me strange stories about one of the former editors: about the cave hed built around his work station with construction paper and cardboard in the back of the old officeand the long hours, sometimes days, hed spend in there. When Bailey became Editor, I began to see The Retort take hold of her as well. Working on layout with her until the early hours of the morning, it was easy to let The Retort take hold. As the year progressed, The Retort is getting to me today quickly escalated to The Retort is taking over my mind! This is the plague of all Retort Editors- and despite the chaos, the mind-control, the hermit-like office tendencies, The Retort is a major force that is hard to resist and I (and my staff will agree) can feel myself falling victim, ever so slowly, to the undeniable force that is The Retort. We have since been moved to a new office but the force of The Retort remains. In this new office, it seems that some kind of time portal exists in which minutes are actual-

In Your Best Interest: Attorneys, Funding, and the Future Virtual EMS
By PATRICIA HAMPTON News & Campus Life Writer
What updates do we have from your student government? From financing, to politics, to representing Montana State University Billings students, ASMSUB has covered a broad spectrum of topics since our last look into the happenings of SUB 213. In a recent meeting, Senate members heard from Judy Williams, the part-time attorney paid by student fees assessed of each student enrolled in at least seven credits. Williams reviewed her role with the Senate, making sure that they understood not only that she was available, but what services she is able to provide. Any student enrolled in at least seven credits has the opportunity to make an appointment for a consultation with Williams for any civil legal matters. Williams can then professionally advise the students, and on a very limited basis may represent them in their case. Appointments can be made with the attorney by calling the ASMSUB Main Office 6572365. Guests are always welcome to present information to ASMSUB at their weekly meetings, whether to update them about recent events, or to advocate for upcoming activities. When our representatives are more aware of the goings-on on campus, they are better able to participate themselves, as well as encourage other students to join in. ASMSUB approves funding for student organizations for putting on events, as well as for travel. Both HEROES and NAfMEC recently requested assistance for their members to attend conferences. HEROES was looking to send two representatives from their team to a BACCHUS conference at the end of October, in Orlando, Florida. NAfMEC is an organization on campus for music students, and they will be attending a conference in Great Falls regarding music education. Student Health Insurance is a consideration that will be addressed in the near future. ASMSUB President Isaiah Garrison addressed the Senate regarding the current status of student health insurance. Currently the health insurance that students are then again from one until three. Other performances on the Main Stage included bellydancers, the MSUB Dance Club, a cappella performances, and two numbers by freshman Mollie Carty. On the stage in the atrium, performances ranged from Sarah Buers vocal performances, guitar/ vocal performances by Thomas Spencer and Austin Schillings, and the Dannisarean Dance group. The walk itself resulted in twenty individuals registering to walk to the YMCA and back to the main campus. While the event did not have as much of a turnout able to obtain through Student Health Services (SHS) is through Blue Cross Blue Shield. The current system for waiving the health insurance option on campus is considered a soft waiver system. This means that students can waive the health insurance option without providing any documentation or proof that they are already covered by insurance outside of the university. In the future however, MSUB may adopt a hard waiver system where students would be required to provide their offcampus insurance information to the university, and a portion of the insurance documentation would be audited to ensure that students are in fact covered by insurance. Shortly, an architect will be retained and come to campus to discuss and propose as anticipated, DVAAS is already looking forward to the event next year. For more information about the walk or DVAAS, please visit www. DVAAS.org. options for the new conference center that will replace the facilities in the Student Union Building that were renovated to bring the Academic Support Center to the SUB and expand Stingers Bistro. The proposal for the new conference center will not include plans for additional residence hall facilities at this time. The plan will include the moving of the tennis bubble from the Main Campus, to the City College Campus. As always, if you have any questions, or would like to contact ASMSUB, feel free to give them a call at 657-2365, or stop by room 213 in the SUB.

Makes Campus Event Planning Easier

Does your organization need to reserve meeting/event space, info tables and/or catering on one of MSUBs campuses? The new Virtual EMS program allows you to make your reservation or catering requests online from the comfort of your home or office, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Its convenient and easy to use! If youd like to be able to easily make requests for rooms, tables and/or catering online, email Carrie Klippenstein at carrie.klippenstein@ msubillings.edu to sign up for training or if you have any questions about the Virtual EMS program.

DVAAS walk brings unique entertainment, vendors but lower than anticipated turnout

By PATRICIA HAMPTON News & Campus Life Writer

n Saturday, October 6th, the Domestic Violence Abuse Awareness Society (DVAAS) sponsored Running Out of Silence, a walk/run to raise awareness about domestic violence. Set-up for the event began the night before in the atrium with the First Aid table (run by CNAs Nicole Mosure and Matthew Barton throughout the event), the raffle table where numerous PartyLite products were being raffled, and the preparations were made for the indoor entertainment on the atrium. On the morning of the

walk, vendors began arriving before nine oclock to set up their booths and display their merchandise. The Kettle Corn King arrived and began preparing popcorn, funnel cake, and cotton candy. Childrens activities were originally intended to be outside, but due to the cold and the snow falling from the trees above, the games and activities were relocated to the common area outside of the ASC. Downtime, a local band, performed on the Main Stage behind McMullen Hall from eleven until noon, and

Photos by Amy Tackett and Chris Claus

Benjie Heu Featured at the Northcutt Steel Gallery From Oct. 11 - Nov. 8

By LEANNE GILBERTSON Director of Northcutt Steel Gallery


SU-B Department of Arts Northcutt Steele Gallery features the work of ceramic artist Benjie Heu from October 11 through November 8. This solo exhibition entitled Story Time highlights Heus technical mastery and imaginative scope in a series of fanciful wall pieces and free-standing sculptures arranged in narrative vignettes. This is the artists first solo show in Montana. Heu is Professor of Ceramics at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau. He has an active exhibition record of solo, group, juried and invitational exhibitions and his work is included in a number of private and institutional collections across the nation. He received his MFA from Ohio University in 1998. During his shortterm residency, Heu will present an artist workshop for MSU-B students introducing them to his techniques and conceptual approach. Heu explores the nature of personal identity in a twenty-first century visual culture littered

Northcutt Student Gallery: Student Art Feature: Pieces of Me Artist: Jenny Zimmerman

with avatars and anti-heroes who occupy a digital landscape beyond the traditional, lived horizon. Creating work with this reality as a backdrop, Heu fabricates an alternate persona in three-dimensionsa hero who battles the obstacles and limits of contemporary existence. His hero races against time and aging, fights the frustrations of real, embodied relationships, and attempts to remedy the inevitable losses of what is cherished. Resembling scarred and marred toys, Heus figures jourPhotos by Amy Tackett ney across a post-apocalyptic landscape seeking truth and enlightenment. While his installations contain an element of horror and absurdity, his work is filled with a healthy dose of humor and expresses a tender empathy for our shared human plights, hopes, dreams, and desires. An artist reception will be held on Thursday October 11 beginning at 5pm. Heu will also offer demonstrations on his techniques and conceptual approaches in the Departments Outer Gallery on the 1st floor Above: Lets Start Over Again Cone 6 stoneware, glaze, glass eyes, wall mounted, 16 by 10 by 20, 2009. of the Liberal Arts Build- Three Below: Benjie Heu does a ceramic demonstration in front of the Northcutt Steel Gallery.

ing from 9:00am3:00pm on Wednesday, October 10 and Thursday, October 11. He will offer a lecture on Thursday October 11 in Room 205 in the Liberal Arts Building on the MSUB campus beginning at 4pm. The exhibition, demonstration, lecture, and reception are all free and open to the public. The Nothcutt Steele Gallery is located on the 1st floor of the Liberal Arts Building on the MSUB campus and is open MondayFriday from 8am to 4pm. For more information visit: www.msubillings.edu/ gallery and www.facebook. com/northcuttsteelegallery

Top: Dilemma Digital Print, Left: Ambiguous Flight Right: Digital Print QuandaryPastel

Photos by Amy Tackett

Color Me Rad 5k coming to Billings on October 27th B


By GRETCHEN WILLARD For The Retort
illings runners are prepping to be hit with a tsunami of color on October 27, 2012 as they take on Color Me Rad 5K. As white-clad participants wind through MetraPark, theyll be bombarded with color throughout the course until their face, shirt and body cross the finish line looking like a silkscreened tiedyed hippie. Finishers, coated from head to toe in blue, green, pink, purple and yellow, will then toss individual bags of color in the air every fifteen minutesnot to summon rain from heavenbut to create a final explosion of color in celebration of their accomplishment. As race organizer Scott Crandall explains, Youll start off with a shirt as pure and white as your grandpas dentures and youll wind up looking like a pack of Skittles. The color dust dowsing each participant is made of FDA approved colored cornstarch, and they use almost 5,000 lbs. of it for each race. The Billings race is the twenty-ninth stop on Color Me Rads nation-wide tour, which was created by four friends who wanted to make colored tears of joy run down the faces of the masses. We just want to brighten your day, your lifebut probably not your teeth, Crandall said. We also hope to get a lot of people involved in fitness who maybe otherwise wouldnt come out for your typical 5K. If you make it about fun instead of about shin splints, youre more likely to want to give running a shot. A portion of the proceeds of the race goes to the Billings Family YMCA. Theres only one thing we like more than throwing color at people, and thats throwing our support behind great charities. Long after youve washed the last bit of color out of your ears, your donations will be making a difference in your community, Crandall said. Waves of 1,000 people will take off every five minutes beginning at 11 a.m. on Saturday, October 27, 2012. Participants of all ages are welcome to run or walk. Registration is available at colormerad.com. Color Me Rad holds races across the US and Canada in more than 30 cities. For more information on this event and to see additional race locations, visit www. colormerad.comor check out what fans have to share on Facebook at www.facebook. com/colormerad.

Alternatives to Trick-or-Treating Outside This Halloween Season


By SERENE CRESS Arts & Entertainment Writer
ory was putting my dad in jail. For just one dollar I could pay to have the sheriff arrest anyone I wanted. The idea of being able to lock up my parents, especially my dad, was just too tempting! It was thrilling to watch him be handcuffed and hauled off to the slammer! I have many fond memories of Halloween and our harvest parties. I was safe, warm, had lots of fun and of course got lots of candy! There were no witches, ghosts, or costumes yet I still had a blast! If you would like to create similar memories for you and your children and create a new tradition, here are some great alternatives to trick-ortreating; MSUB/ Rocky s Inner Varsity Chapters Trick or Eat 5-6:30pm Instead of doing the normal Halloween candy centered trick-or-treating, you can dress up for fun and give back to the community at the same time. Trick or Eat is an event where you go door to door and instead of asking for candy you ask for non-perishable food items. These Items will then be donated to the Salvation Army to feed hungry families this winter. MSUB Halloween Hall Wide 6-9pm The dorms will be open for safe, indoor trick-or-treating. Faith Chapel Candy Run 5:30-8:30pm Faith Chapel has gone all out this year with seven different themes; G.I. Joe. Dr. Seuss, Angry Birds, Star Wars, Toy Story, marvel Comic Super Heros, & Lights. Enjoy warm indoor fun activities and lots of candy!! Faith Evangelical Truck or Treat 6-8pm If you still want to trickor-treat but would like to get more candy in less time, check out Faith E.s decked out cars in their parking lot. Your child will go car to car and each car will be decked out just as much as they are.

Dear Tiff, Im in a long distance relationship and though I love my girlfriend, its just getting too hard to stay emotionally connected given the distance and time limits. However, my girlfriend and I are at an impasse because she doesnt want to move here, and I cant move there. What should I do? -Long Distance Lover Dear Long Distance Lover, Sometimes there just isnt an easy solution. In your case it sounds like this may be the case. Either way, you most definitely need to have a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend and communicate how you are feeling. However, before you do that you need to ask yourself some hard questions. First, you need to decide if you truly love her, after all love is supposed to be patient. Perhaps you can continue things are a little longer until there is a viable solution that you both feel comfortable with. I suggest you really search your heart and evaluate your feelings and your motivations. Second, does she really love you? This is a very hard question to ask; partially because no one wants the answer to be no, and partially because its hard to really

know the answer; but as they say, actions speak louder than words. In other words, is she actually showing you she loves you? Its easy to pay lip service to someone, but the real truth lies in what they do.as DC Talk says, Love is a verb Your girlfriend may actually love you very much and has a legitimate reason she is not willing to move for you. Yet, she could also just be in love with the idea of you or she could be in love with being in loveor she could even be a player. To clarify, I dont think you should assume the worst by any means, but it is very important to look at the situation with clarity as much as you can; the truth is hard to see through love glasses. I would recommend asking the opinions of a few people in your life who can be objective. Often they can give you a more realistic perspective. All in all, though asking yourself the tough questions, getting the advice of others and leveling with your girlfriend are great steps, ultimately you have to do what you know deep down you need to do. I actually have discovered over the years that most of the time when someone is asking this type of question, they already know

the answer and are really asking others simply to confirm what they already think they should do. I believe that if you look deep within, you will find your answer. Dear Tiff, Im struggling with my finances. I have financial aid, loans, and work as much as I can, but its just not enough. I am not spending like crazy or anything; I pay my bills, buy food, gas and the essentials- but its still not enough. What can I do? -Financially Flopping Dear Financially Flopping, You are working the math equation that stumps most college students: two into oneit just doesnt go, right!? Luckily, there are services on campus and off that can help you. The best resource I know of is S.O.S. They can help you with budgeting and can tell you about other resources you can tap into. They can also help you apply for scholarships! The key to finding the right answer is to either find ways to subtract your expenses or find ways to add to your bank accountand they can use the combination of budgeting and accessing new resources to find the correct answer!

rowing up, though I never wore a costume or went trick-ortreating, some of my favorite memories were on Halloween. I remember going through box mazes and holding the fate of adults in my hands at the dunking booth. Sure there was candy, but how many blow pops or candy bars I got paled in comparison to the fun and unique activities I got to experience that one time a year at the annual harvest party. So, instead of walking door to door asking for candy, we won our candy by playing games, running races, and going through mazes. Either way can be fun, but I will say that the one time my parents let me go trick-or-treating when I was in 8th grade, I honestly didnt find tromping through the snow in a very cold costume to get candy even in the same realm as the harvest party my family went to every year. It wasnt just the bobbing for apples or relay races that made it so memorable. For me, the best part was that it was the one of the few times I got to witness a different side of my parents, when they were just bigger versions of me. They played and laughed; all their adult stresses were gone and they could be free. I think my favorite mem-

October-November 2012
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday
3o f f Th

Friday
to Re e 19 rt i s t! Ou
History Club Burgers and Brats Fundrais-

Saturday
20

er @ 4:30-8pm Yellow- High Plains Book Fest @ stone Valley Brew Pub
9am-5pm : Billings

21
The Extraordinary - Craig Karges @ 7:30pm: Alberta Bair: $35, $30, $26 - Half Price with valid student ID

22
Make Magic Happen 7:00 pm Theatre

23
Last Day to Drop Classes Without Instructor Permission (No Refund)

24
Four, One Act Plays @ 7pm : MSUB LA Building 6th Floor (Oct 24-27

su r Is rt! o f eto ine adl he R e D T

25

o e4

26

Two Moon Haunted Hallow @ 6pm-10 : Two Moon Park, Billings Heights

27Men's Soccer vs.


@ 1:00: COT Billings Color Me

University of Mary

Union Night: Pumpkin Carving @ 7pm :Atrium

Rad 5k @ MetraPark

28
Halloween Party w/ the Clumsy Lovers @ 5:30-9 Yellowstone Valley BrewPub $10

29
scary story- check one out on Page 7

30
10 : Moss Mansion $5 Halloween Hallwide

31
Halloween Food Drive @ 5:00 : Atrium Downtown Billings Trick or Treating

1
Check out the artwork in the Northcutt Steel Gallery at the LA Bld.

2
Iss

Cuddle up with a good Haunted House @ 6pm-

4 ueCarlos Mencia @
Theater $35.50

h of T

eR

et

is ort

Ou

t! out page 5!) (check

3
Billings Bulls Hockey @ 7:35pm : Centennial Ice Arena

7:30pm : Alberta Bair

5
Registration Marketplace Begins for

6
ELECTION DAY

Halloween

Jared Blake from Sea@ 7pm : Mannys $18

Spring Semester 2013 No Classes, Offices Closed son 1 of The Voice Magic @ MetraPark

ue Iss ! r o rt ef lin e Reto d a De Th

f 5o

9
Honors Reflections and Research Presentations @ 6:00pm Beartooth

10
Men's Basketball vs. Black Hills State @ 7:00 pm

Submit an

article to The Retort.

11
Men's Basketball vs. Chadron State @ 7:00 pm

12

VETRANS DAY

13
SAB Comedian Jessi Campbell

14

American Indian Outreach Month-

15

Thanksgiving Dinner 5pm Rimrock Caf

No Classes, Offices Closed

Men's Basketball vs. Great Falls @ 7:00 pm

Free popcorn in the LA Building 11-1

Is ball vs. Simon Fraser @ 7:00 pm

Women's Volley-

sue

s rt i 16 Reto 17 History he Club Burgers T f o and Brats Fundrais- Last Day to Apply
er @ 4:30-8pm Yellow- to Graduate Spring stone Valley Brew Pub Semester 2013

t! Ou

SUDOKU

e t ri d t to g l d n a W me o of so ? Post s b o o k h e r e. t hem

CLASSIFIED SECTION

To The River by Edgar Allan Poe (1829)

Welcome to the new Classified Section of The Retort! At this time, we are accepting classified ads to be published both online and in print for FREE! Guidlines: Provide a heading (no more than 6 words) Provide a write-up of what you are advertising (maximum of 40 words) Provide contact info to include person of contact, email, phone number, or website for further information If you would not like to include your name or contact info in the ad, we require that you submit one for our records but that will not be published. Review your ad carefully before submission. (Due to space limitations, we can not guarantee that your ad will be in the printed version of The Retort but all classified ads will be placed online. For $5.00 per ad, you can reserve a space in the print version. Please direct questions about Classifieds to msubretort@gmail.com

Fair river! in thy bright, clear flow Of crystal, wandering water, Thou art an emblem of the glow Of beauty -- the unhidden heart -The playful maziness of art In old Alberto's daughter; But when within thy wave she looks -Which glistens then, and trembles -Why, then, the prettiest of brooks Her worshipper resembles; For in my heart, as in thy stream, Her image deeply lies -The heart which trembles at the beam Of her soul-searching eyes.

Need an excuse to put off doing your homework? Look here: THERES SOMETHING TO DO EVERYDAY!

e ssu

The Man in the Red Tie by Rhys Garner


time, watching him from across the aisle. He had to have taken my briefcase he thought where else would it have gone? He waited until I fell asleep and then snatched it. He rose and walked toward the seemingly asleep man. Hey he said, arriving at the edge of the fat mans seat Wheres my briefcase? I want it back. The fat man didnt move and didnt say anything; there wasnt even a noticeable change in his breathing. The lights flicked and his eyes opened, then immediately shut. I can see you are awake, what the hell is wrong with you? Give me back my property Again, nothing; no movement and dead silence, just the raspy labored breathing there had always been. The lights went off and his eyes shot open, only this time his mouth also cracked into a large grin. It happened so quickly, the man in the red tie could barely see it. He had had enough! He grasped The man in the red tie reached his hand up, his nose was bleeding. He wiped it away and continued, I swear to god Ill beat the shit out of you right here and- Drip. Drip. Drip. The lights went off and the man in the red tie realized his nose bleed had gotten worse. He could taste iron- there was blood in his mouth. He stood up, letting the fat man slide back into his seat. His vision got suddenly blurry Whats happening? He could barely see and his mouth was filling up. He gagged so much blood he couldnt spit it out fast enough. His head felt as though it was being crushed and he felt his lungs begin to fill up with whatever blood he wasnt able to spit out or swallow. He stumbled back, clutching his head in pain, What the hell is wrong with me! He coughed blood as he spoke and he couldnt breathe, his nose and mouth were gushing a torrent of blood now. He fell to the ground, scrambling

he car slid to a stop and the man with the red tie walked through the open subway door. He was a thin man, tall and in his mid forties. He had a hard day at work and wanted nothing more than to get home and say hello to his beautiful wife and daughter. Inside the car, he gazed up and down the aisle. It was empty, save for one seat far at the end where a man was sitting. He was a fat man, short and dressed in rags. He seemed to be sleeping, his gut shifting ever so often along with loud labored breaths. The man in the red tie sat down in the middle of the car and set his briefcase down beside him. He stared at the floor for some time, counting the seconds between each flash of light and dark when the train moved between lights. He glanced at the fat man in the far seat, still unmoving except for the random rise and fall of his stomach. Must be nice the man in the red tie thought to himself before looking back at his feet. After a while the man in the red tie found himself growing drowsy: he had a hard days work after all, and before long he fell completely asleep. He couldnt have been out long, minutes at most, when he was awakened by a particularly violent shake from the car. He groaned, rubbed his eyes and leaned back forward, putting his elbows on his knees. Looking at the floor again, he noticed that something seemed different. My briefcase he realized Wheres my briefcase? He knew he had brought it on with him and was fairly sure that just moments before it had been sitting right at this feet. He looked on the seats next to him and under his own seat, going so far as to get down on his knees and check. Thinking that it may have slid when the train jerked, he walked up and down the aisle, checking on and under every seat. When his search turned up nothing, he sat back down to try and figure out what had happened. His pondering was interrupted by a loud snort from the portly fellow sitting at the end. The man in the red tie thought that maybe the fat man had taken it, although he couldnt see it next to him and from what he could tell the man hadnt woken up the entire trip. While staring at him, the lights again flickered off and returned a split second later. What was that? The man in the red tie could have sworn he saw something change. Again the lights flickered; again, something in the dark moved, he was sure of it He sat ready, waiting for the light to flick off again in hopes of catching a better glimpse of what was happening. Lights off- in the brief moment he had to focus in the dark, he saw it: the fat mans eyes opened. Popping open just long enough to catch a glimpse of what was happening, and then quickly shutting again. Hes faking the man in the red tie mumbled to himself What is he doing? He watched for a while longer trying to decide what exactly this meant. The fat man had obviously been awake this whole

the fat man by the shoulders and rolled him so he could wave a clenched fist right in his face Listen pal, if you dont give me back my- the lights flicked and again to reveal the eyes and the smile. Drip. -briefcase I swear to god Ill The lights went off. Drip. Drip.

desperately to take a breath- the lights flicked of and again those eyes, that smile. God I think Im dying he thought as the lights flicked for the last time, permanently etching the sight of that horrible smile in his mind. The car slid to a stop and the man in the red tie walked through the open subway door. He was a short man, fat; his clothes were dirty and seemed far too tight for him. As he walked from the subway, he glanced back at the car he had just gotten off. It was empty, save for one seat far at the end where a man was sitting. He was a thin man, tall and dressed in rags. He was slumped over in the seat and seemed to be sleeping, his stomach lifting very rarely along with raspy, gurgling breaths. Must be nice the fat man in the red tie whispered to himself as he smiled at his good fortune. He had a long day, and wanted nothing more than to get home to say hello to his new beautiful wife and daughter.

Comic courtesy of www.XKCD.com

Check out the second and third place winners of our Scary Story Contest at MSUBRetort.org

Human trafficking Response Women or Men: Who


A
The following article is in response to Human Tracfficking Still a Major Issue Today by Paulina Carrillo published in Volume 88, Issue 2 of The Retort. gain with the antipornography campaign? Let me start off by saying that I am not in any way, shape, or form, endorsing human trafficking, or am attempting to make it seem less vile, less evil, than it really is. I also know that no matter how many times I rebut the anti-sex-industry pieces written in the opinion section, I know I will never change that writers mind. As the old saying goes, you cannot change a closed mind. I am not even going to address the horrendous human trafficking problem that exists in other parts of the world, or in Eastern Europe, where it is most common. What I am going to address is human trafficking in the United States and its rather flimsy ties to the various sex industries here. First, lets talk about the pornography industry. I will be quoting from various sources, so as with any university level writing, you will find links to those sources at the end of the article. Not every man who visits a strip club, watches a clip of porn, or pays for sexual com-

Chris Claus Online Editor

panionship wants to commit an act of violence against a woman. Rapists and murders are the ones who want to rape and strangle people; some of them hire escorts, some dont. [1] Yes, it is true that some porn involves human trafficking. Any guess as to what kind of porn that is? No? Well I'll tell you. The most common types of pornography that involve human trafficking are: Child pornography, rape porn, snuff films, and others long those same lines. There are two other things, besides their relation to human trafficking, that these kinds of pornography all have in common: they are all illegal, and they are a very small minority of all pornography that is produced. It's true; a vast majority of all pornography is completely legal, involving willing actors and actresses. Go down to Lovers Playground, or go on vivid entertainments websitesee all those different pornographic titles? There are more porn movies released every year then Hollywood has ever produced. They all have one thing in common: every single actor and actress is there willingly. They have all filed W-4's with the IRS, have all willingly, of sound body and mind, signed contracts with the company they are working for, get regular STD testing, and contrary to popular

belief, are not all on drugs. Now, as for prostitution, it's true that some people are forced into prostitution through various means, and a majority of all human trafficking victims are forced into prostitution. It's not like that everywhere though. A detective in has become a magnet for sex workers, backs up this claim: "None of the women we have caught has been trafficked. A lot are coming over to make money and they are certainly not always under the control of a pimp, [. . .] They make more in a week here than they would in a year in their home country. Sadly, it's a lifestyle choice for them and they can make very big money out of it." [2] Lets look at some of the numbers from the National Human Trafficking Resource Center. NHTRC. There is one place in the U.S. Where prostitution is legal and regulated, Nevada. In 2011, the NHTRC received 19,427 calls nation wide. Only 111 of those calls were from Nevada. 1869 were from California, 1314 from Texas, 696 from New York [4] These numbers are by no means exhaustive, and I am sure there are a lot of incidents of human trafficking that go unreported; it is representational. Not counting states with a low population like Montana, Nevada, the one place where prostitution

is legal, is regulated by the state; prostitutes have to work in licensed brothels, get tested, the works, has the lowest incidence of human trafficking in the nation. When you judge prostitutes, you assume they're the lowest of the low. That they're drug addicts on a path to self-destruct. Think again. Were the women sitting next to you in the office, the single mums at the school gate. Were just trying to do the best for our families. Is that really such a wicked thing to do? [3] So, while human trafficking is a major problem, its links to the pornographic industry, and prostitution at least in places where prostitution is legal is blown out of proportion. Victims of human trafficking are more likely going to be used as cheap labor, in sweat shops, narcotics manufacturing, and the like, then they are in porn. [1] Alternet 2010. Why I'm Happy I Became a Prostitute http://goo.gl/v1ejV [2]Independent 2012. Niamh: why I became a 220 per hour escort. http://goo.gl/ SJnBA [3] People UK 2012. I became an escort for my daughter. http://goo.gl/9HIoh [4] Polaris Project 2012. State Map. http://www.polarisproject.org/state-map

is More Shallow?
Paulina Carrillo Columnist

Tobacco Free Policy a Good Policy


Paulina Carrillo Columnist
The following article is written in response to MSUB, Smoking and Godwins Law by Ayn Onymous published in Volume 88, Issue 2 of The Retort. t is disturbing to see how selfish and uncaring of others a lot of people can be. Has it ever occurred to you that when deciding to ban smoking on campus, maybe our school was choosing the health of others over your addiction? Take a quick second and consider these reasons as to why the ban is a good idea. First of all, no non-smoker wants to smell any cigarette smoke when walking to class. It is disgusting, and can also be considered rude. We do not care that you smoke

at all, but seriously, can you not wait to smoke until you are off campus? Are you that desperate for that one cigarette? If I remember correctly, we go to school to study, not smoke. Oh, and if you live in the dorms, walk to the park or something; it is not that far so it cant be that bad. Besides, your lungs will probably need the exercise. Second, did you ever consider the pregnant women on campus? In case you did not know, their unborn baby can be affected by second hand smoke. According to the medical journal Pediatrics, a pregnant womans chances of having a stillborn are increased by 23% after being exposed to second hand smoke. In addition, chances of her deliv-

ering a baby with birth defects are also increased by 13%. Also, the research conducted by the University of Minnesota suggests that second hand smoke also increases the chance of having a miscarriage, having a low birth weight infant, and having a child with sudden infant death syndrome. Sure, in order for any of these to happen, the woman must be exposed constantly to cigarette smoke. But, remember how bad and strong the smell of cigarette was when walking outside the Liberal Arts building, or past Petro Hall? Exactly. Third, lets not forget about those who suffer from asthma. According to the United States Environmental Protection Agency, secondhand smoke can trigger asthma episodes and increase the sever-

ome say girls are more superficial then guys, others say it is vise-versa, and others simply say both sexes are equally shallow. Although I agree that there are both men and women who consider the looks of the opposite sex before anything else, I am going to have to say that there are slightly more men than women who engage in this behavior. Personally, I believe that a lot of women do not care about how a man looks as much as men care about how women look. The best way I can back my argument is by setting up this example: Imagine that you are a guy inside of a caf. Sitting at the table in the corner you see an average looking, slightly overweight girl with short curly hair reading a book. At the opposite side of the room you see a pretty thin girl with long hair texting. From what you see, it is easy for you to tell who the smart one is and who is not. Being the girlfriend-seeking guy that you are, who are you more likely to go try and talk to? I think we all know what the most common answer to this question would be. While in search of the opinion of others, I decided to ask some students who they thought cared more about looks, and these are the answers I got: I think it depends on the person. Some men say they don't care about looks but ity of attacks. Not that I have when a good looking womever had one, or even have an comes by, they can't stop asthma myself, I am sure we staring. Women, I have no can all say that asthma at- reference because I'm not tacks are not all that great. So what do you think is more important, smoking ON campus or keeping someone from having one of these attacks? Finally, smoking on campus should not be that hard to avoid. If it is, then it sounds like you have an addiction to me. Perhaps try getting some help. But seriously, quit complaining about Montana State University Billings now being a smoke-free campus. It is only a school campus, not the whole city of Billings. After all, youre polluting the air with all that smoke. Quit being so selfish!

one, but in my opinion women are about the same. Some are looking for a "personality" or a "heart," but there are some out there staring at men like they are candy. It's a tossup and the world may never know, Scott White said. Theodore Ludlow seemed to side for men saying, Men because our sex drives are stronger than women's and we look for looks rather than intelligence or personality. Brianna Stromberg agreed with Theodore stating:I think men are because women have more mental preferences that they look for in a man. Some men have as much preferences as we do, and if they do, I highly disbelieve that they care so much about the persons mental and emotional side. I do however believe that it is also based on a case to case basis and varies with your environment and social surroundings. Jared Hoeft took the middle road saying, Well, in all honesty, it is probably a tie. Focusing on Americans in particular, choice is mostly based on the car you drive. Girls are picky because they want Mr. Perfect. No, not someone they are compatible with, but someone who is classified as perfect under societies standards. For example, a man who has a lot of money, a nice car, and a nice body. Girls would judge a guys look before even talking to them Samantha Everett said. As you can see, the right answer to this question will probably never be known.

Jimmy Hoffa: One Place They Havent Looked


Chris Claus Online Editor
ducted him then pushed him out of an airplane over the great lakes, and some believe that Hoffa isnt dead at all, but that he went into hiding, just like Elvis. If he was killed, what happened to his body? That is what people have been asking for the last 37 years. One popular theory is his body was disposed of in a mafia owned fat rendering plant, which was subsequently burned to the ground. They have searched everywhere. From under the house of a former teamsters official, to a horse barn in Michigan. They even searched under the end zone of the old Giants stadium. Needless to say, they have never turned up even the tiniest portion of his body. It is estimated that the government and various police agencies have spent more money looking for Hoffas corpse than they ever have for any missing person case. To this day, theories still abound. Did the FBI kill him, and get rid of him in a way that only our government could do? Did the Jersey Mob kill him as retribution for some perceived slight? Maybe hes on a tropical island drinking Mai Tais with Elvis? One possibility that people havent considered is this: if he was killed, by whomever, why would they hide his corpse in any town or state he to Plains Park. What other reason would they end the football program, which is one of the most popular sports in this country in the largest city in this state. Why else would they make attending MSU Bozeman look more appealing, a town with less than 40,000 people there are suburbs in Southern California with a larger population than Bozeman if not to make sure they never have to expand into that large, empty, going nd the liberal snake to waste area of space that is pit is in frenzy! And just north of the LA building? now we have a witch Does that make sense to hunt for the only voice of you? truth brave enough to speak. Now the pigs root for their dinner. Now the slave master pulls the rains a little tighter. Now the hearts of men beat a little slower. And they want me to shut up and go away. Communalists abhor free speech, for at its core communalism it is the subjugation of the individual to the group. As soon as someone starts thinking for themselves the libral-thought- gestaWpo spring into action. The spineless pansies at The Retort asked me to tone it down if I wanted to continue to be published. But did Thomas Paine tone it down when things got tough? NO! He went on to foment two of the most world changing revolutions in human history with the power of pseudonymity. I am the Epaminondas of MSUB and I am just getting started! And I am Could the blood-colored stain on the floor of the going nowhere. We will see if new Retort office be evidence of past foul play? The Retort has the backbone to print the truth, my previous column was likely my last by my best estimation. If, dear reader, you can no longer find my writing it is not on a Plane. And other titles, in dark side of Santa, the $2.99 because I have failed you but an attempt to be unique, took bin is the place for you to. rather have been failed by the on Christmas with titles like: And though the movies there horrible sorrow of censorship. Gingerdead Man and San- may not get you scared, I can Not that it would be any loss tas Slay. With the outrageous guarantee watching them will to me as I have serious doubts movie titles, I half expect- burn some unneeded brain regarding the legitimacy of ed the actors to be just as bad cells this Halloween. this schools newspaper. I nowith names like Val Kill ticed my article was rampant more, Tom Shanks, Chriswith grammatical errs. At tian Slayer or Halle Buryfirst I thought those liberalyou. slime-dogs were setting me In the end, despite my barup, until I saw thier so called gain-hunting tendencies, I scary story compition [sic]. paid full price for my good Patheticget it together you old, go-to horror film classics: lazy hippies its embarrassing. The Exorcist and Halloween. It seems the classics are the ones the $2.99 bin movies were trying to emulate but just couldnt hit the mark or tried to create their own mark on another planet. However, if youre not like me and want to watch some ketchup-looking blood gush from the abdomen of a green zombie or youre interested in seeing the was associated with, especially considering that to this day, the authorities are still acting on tips, searching around Detroit for him. What I think, is that Jimmy Hoffa, infamous teamster president and known associate of the Detroit Mafia, was buried here in Billings. To be more specific, here on the MSU Billings campus. I cant be the only one that finds it suspicious that shortly after Hoffa went missing, the football field here at, what was then known as Eastern Montana College, was taken out to make way for the Liberal Arts building and the Peaks

immy Hoffa was born, disappeared, and was declared legally dead before most of you were born, but its what he did while he was alive that has had some impact on most of you. Hoffa was the driving force behind the rise of the Teamsters Union, making it one of the largest labor unions in the United States. Hoffa was last seen outside a suburban Detroit restaurant on July 30th 1975. His disappearance has been one of the biggest mysteries in the United States, up there with who killed Kennedy, and whether or not aliens actually crashed outside Roswell.No one knows what actually happened to him. The FBI blames it on the New Jersey Mob, the NJ Mob blames it on Detroit Mafia bosses, a friend of Hoffas and a former Times reporter think that the FBI ab-

The Horrors of the $2.99 Movie Bin


Leah Campbell Editor-in-Chief
With Halloween around the corner, October is a great month to spend inside watching scary movies. However, as the years have progressed, tv movies have gotten worse, especially the scary ones. From Casper 13: Yes, Casper is still Dead to I Think My Moms Boyfriend Is a Vampire 4 (Maybe Mom Should Just Stay Single). I didnt think scary movies could get any worseuntil I discovered the $2.99 movie bin at Hastings. I thought Id found the Holy Grail of scary movies but in reality, Id found a crypt-and not even a scary one. Granted, straight-to-DVD movies are expected to be bad but straight-to-DVD scary movies are far worse. They are the movies that didnt even make it to theaters and maybe lasted a week in Red Box and hide in the strange, outer edges of Netflix and only pop up at 2am when you just want to watch an episode of Hey Arnold. Shuffling through the pile of DVDs, I focused on the names rather than the poorly shot, dimly lit photos on the covers. Besides, its easier to get an idea of the plot based on the titles. However, some titles were just synonyms for each other with a different number next to them like Hellraiser IV, The Alley 3, Dead Night 2, Fatality 3: Revenge. Then, there were the titles that just made me scratch my head like: Shark in Venice, Night of the Lepus, Invasion of the Blood Farmers, Frankenhooker, Slugs, Leprechaun in the Hood and Snakes

Now that I know the sort of work ethic they employ I will be sure to take more care before I submit something. But thats beside the point. To my original point, I would like to relate to you dear reader, my experience of hearing two LA Building ignoramuses arguing over who hated me more, thankfully I was blanketed in the armor of pseudonymity. It just so happened I have observed both of these mindless plebeians smoking before the ban. Both freely stepped in line with their overlords orders yet had the audacity to criticize me for speaking out on their behalf. One second they mutually daydreamed about how exactly they wanted to torture me, in disturbing clarity, only to criticize me for what they stupidly refer to as my anonymity the next second. Those two epistemological cavemen were far too brainless to see how those thoughts connected. But thats what it is to be a liberal, all emotion, no brains. The reason my ture identity is secret is clear, the liberal horde would make my life a living hell in every way possible. Not just the students but the burnout communist-loving professors (and there are plenty hiding here.) As soon as my name was published my GPA would take heavy punishment. No thanks. To criticize me for pseudonymity is to criticize Alexander Hamilton, James Madison, and John Jay. Most of you liberal stooges probably are unaware but they were authors of the federalist papers, which were articles published under pseudonyms in newspapers and pamphlets critical in support of ratification of the constitution. The root of your faux-superiority is unconscious fear that the liberal zombies might start thinking for themselves. Bit its only inevitable. Im Ayn Onymous and I am your conservative lifeboat in the sea of liberal mediocrity. Now I am on the Facebook though those liberal technocrats have forced me to spell my name Aynn Onnymous.

Yellowjacket Mens Basketball Releases 2012-13 Schedule

By MSU BILLINGS MSUB Media Relations

he Montana State University Billings men's basketball team has released its 2012-13 schedule that features 29 regular season games, with 15 contests at home. The Yellowjackets are coming off of a season that featured their 10th trip to the NCAA Div. 2 national tournament, their first-ever Great Northwest Athletic Conference tournament title, and an 18-12 overall record. Head coach Jamie Stevens returns for his second season, along with four players from last year's underdog run through the conference tournament to the national tournament. This year's schedule includes 29 regular season contests and three exhibition games. MSUB plays 11 nonconference games, including four in a trip to Hawai'i. Based on both opponents faced and miles travelled, I think our schedule has to be one of the more challenging schedules that a Div. 2 team could face, Stevens said. Playing west region opponents is always a great test and we have the top three teams from the Pac West Conference on our schedule, including two of them on the road. An exhibition game at Rocky Mountain College on Halloween opens the season, but the Nov. 10 matchup with Black Hills State in Billings serves as the regular season opener. The Yellowjackets of BHSU went 11-17 last season.

MSUB then welcomes Pac West power, Dixie State, on Nov. 16. DSU ended its 20-7 season last year in the first round of the national tournament as well. MSU-Billings travels to Hawai'i for the Hawai'i-Hilo Invitational from Nov. 1921. While in the Aloha State, the Yellowjackets face Western New Mexico, Hawai'iHilo, and Maryville (Mo.) in the Invitational, and BYUHawai'i in a non-conference game. Of the four opponents, only BYU-Hawai'i had a winning record in 2011-12. The Hawaii trip comes at a great time for our program, Stevens said. With 11 new players and only four returners from last year, this trip will not only give our team a chance to bond as a group, but also a chance to exempt some games so that we can play a few more games than a normal year. I think it will take some time for our players to learn our system and it will take some time for our coaching staff to learn our players, so the more games we can get under our belt, the better chance we have of playing our best basketball in February and March. The GNAC schedule begins Nov. 29 with a trip to Alaska-Anchorage. UAA ended Montana State Billings' season last year in the national tournament, but not before MSUB upset the thenranked No. 15 Seawolves in the conference championship game. On Dec. 1, the Yellow-

Photos by MSUB Media Relations

jackets travel to Alaska-Fairbanks. The Nanooks won only five games last year and fell to MSUB twice. Montana State Billings returns home for a Dec. 7 meeting with South Dakota Mines. The Hardrockers went 1614 last year. The next day, MSUB will take on the Yellowjacket Alumni in the annual exhibition contest. MSUBillings travels to Grand Canyon on Dec. 14, before taking on three straight Frontier Conference opponents at home to wrap-up the non-conference schedule. I am excited about the home schedule, and I am glad that we will get to play a few more doubleheaders with our women's program this year, Stevens said. We will also get some quality non-conference Div. 2 games against Black Hills, Dixie State and South Dakota Mines at Alsons as a team were much different than their last two. In their inaugural season (1996), the Jackets finished 0-9, and followed that up with an 0-13 season. Compare that to the most recent two seasons for the Jackets - in which they have gone a combined 24-95 (including an appearance in the NCAA Tournament and a first-round win) -and you can see that MSUB womens soccer has come a long way in 16 years! The MSUB womens soccer record for most points (14), goals (5), and assists (4) in a game was set by Jelisa Guy on an absolutely amazing day in 2006 against Texas A&M International - a game the Jackets won by a team-record 17 goals! Team records were also set in points (50) goals (18), and assists (14). Former MSUB goalkeeper Megan Plank (2003-2006) es-

terowitz, as well as playing some in-state opponents from the Frontier Conference. Our students gave us a tremendous boost last year on several nights and we hope that the student section continues to grow and provide us a nice home court advantage. I hope that the community of Billings can continue to come out and provide us a great environment to play an exciting brand of college basketball. The Yellowjackets welcome Simon Fraser and Western Washington for GNAC play on Jan. 3 and Jan. 5. Simon Fraser went 8-18 in 2011-12, while WWU won the NCAA Div. 2 national title. Western Washington went 31-5 last season, with one of the losses to MSUB in the GNAC tournament. Three straight road games in a week follow from Jan. 12-19. Montana State Billtablished most of the MSUB goalkeeping records, including wins in a season (13) and career (41), saves in a career (336), best goal allowed against in career (0.95), most minutes played in a season (1868:15) and career (6376:52), most shutouts in a season (10) and career (23), and most consecutive shutout minutes (525:53). During her time with the Jackets, Ally Stroup was an offensive threat; she started all 74 of her games with the team, and is speckled throughout the Jackets record book. She holds records for points in a season (39) and career (109), goals in a season (16) and career (40), game winning goals in a career (12) and season (4 - which she accomplished twice), assists in a career (29), and consecutive games with at least one point (10).

ings makes the trek to Seattle Pacific, Central Washington and Northwest Nazarene. SPU won 23 games last year, while Central Washington and NNU both return several key players from teams that were middle-of-the-pack in the conference in 2011-12. Saint Martin's and Western Oregon come to Alterowitz Gymnasium on Jan. 24 and 26. WOU had a fourth place finish in conference play last season. SMU won 10 of its 27 games. Montana State Billings then begins the second half of conference play at Western Washington on Jan. 31, and Simon Fraser on Feb. 2. Three home games in a week follow from Feb. 9-16, as Seattle Pacific, Northwest Nazarene and Central Washington come to Billings. On Feb. 21 and 23, MSUB travels to Western Oregon and Saint Martin's, beThree MSUB Jackets are among the top ten career leaders in scoring; Jaucelyn Richter (5th), Heidi Greenback (8th), and Jan Larsen (10th). All three have a chance to climb the ranks this year, and Greenback possibly again in 2013. Former Jacket Kelly Bryn scored the fastest goal in MSUB womens soccer history, scoring 27 seconds into a game against Embry-Riddle University in 2002. The 2006 Jackets were an offensive juggernaut; the 2006 team holds points (153), goals (54), assists (45), scoring offense (2.60 goals/game, which was 24th in the NCAA II). Of course, these records were embellished with that fateful game against Texas A&M-International. Also, the 2006 Jackets hold the team record for shutouts (10) and allowed only 16 goals all sea-

fore coming home for the final weekend of the regular season against Alaska-Fairbanks and Alaska-Anchorage on Feb. 28 and March 2. The GNAC is just a great challenge, Stevens said. Obviously, the first thing you think about for us is the travel. With so many new guys, teaching them how to travel the right way will be a challenge. We spend a lot of hours in airports and hotels, and learning how to keep your body rested while on these trips is always a test for our players. Unfortunately, travel is the least of our worries in this conference. Four NCAA tournament teams from last year, a defending national champion and several teams near the bottom of the conference last year that will be much improved. Just qualifying for the GNAC tournament will be extremely difficult. son. Interestingly enough, even with this combination of offense and defense, the Jackets finished only 13-6-1. Carly Valentine, who was a mainstay with the Jackets from 07-10, holds the MSUB records for most games played (79) and started (78). As good as the Jackets were in 2011, they did not set many team records; the only two records set in 2011 were fewest goals allowed in a season (12), and goals against average (0.63). The highest single game home game attendance for the Jackets (against Rocky Mountain College in 2006.) To keep up with MSUB womens soccer and other sports at MSUB visit http:// www.msubsports.com/

Cory Lovec Sports Writer


ly. The Jackets are also a deep team, with eight starters returning from last year, including five who were all-stars. In September alone, MSUB had four players earn GNAC Player of the Week awards, and head coach Wojtek Krakowiak was named GNAC Coach of the Month for September. So as we anticipate what may be one of the most successful seasons for MSUB womens soccer in team history, lets combine the history with the future as we look at some of the MSUB womens soccer records and facts: The Jackets first two sea-

fter placing second in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference (GNAC) two years in a row, making the NCAA Tournament in 2010 (and winning their first-round match-up that year), and posting their best regular season winning percentage last year (0.722), the MSUB womens soccer team started the season out on fire. They won their first nine games, which can be attributed to a strong defense - who shut out opponents in seven of their first 10 games - and a team-first, unselfish attitude offensive-

10

Cory Lovec Sports Writer


Lovec: What was the best advice you were ever given? Hepfner: Thats a tough one toopretty much anything my dad says is good! I should listen to whatever he says! [laughs] Hmmmlet me think of a specific thing I guess just like make big goals and try to strive to reach them. Lovec: That works! So do you have a saying or motto that you live your life by then? Hepfner: Actually, to tell you the truth, I have a bunch written on my mirror in my room and I like them all. My favorite of the moment, because it switches a lot, is, Dont let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Lovec: How do you get motivated for a big meet? Hepfner: I get super, super nervous all the time - like I make myself sick. I try not to think about it until the day of race. Then I do the ol visualize the race thing and try to stay positive, and warm up with an upbeat attitude. Lovec: You were the Jackets number two runner in cross country last year as a (redshirt) freshman. What is your goal for this year? Hepfner: As of right now, I really want to beat those times I already said. And I think we should place in conference; definitely higher than last year. Its a closer group of girls, so I think we should strive to beat last years everything in the conference meet. At least like a fifth to sixth place. Lovec: So, if this doesnt get you in trouble, which sport do you like better, cross country or track, and why? Hepfner: Cross country. Its not just running around in circle. I just like the different venues and scenery. Plus, having just one race and being done is a huge relief. Lovec: So, according to the athletics website you actually had a faster time in HS (225) for the 800m than

enae Hepfner is triathlete here at Montana State University Billings; she is involved in cross country, indoor track, and outdoor track. Shes also a biology major completing her pre-med requirements, and is always one of the top students in her classes. Two weeks ago, she was nice enough to take some time out of her very busy schedule to participate in an interview with me. Name: Renae Marie Hepfner Age and year in school: 20, Junior Hometown: Belt, Montana Sport(s) at MSUB: Cross Country, Track (indoor and outdoor) Sports participated in throughout athletic career: Cross Country, Volleyball, Basketball, and Track Cory Lovec: What got you started in athletics? Renae Hepfner: Ohjeez, I guess the social aspect. I dont know, like third grade is when I started, and all my friends were doing it, so it sounded good haha. You know, in such a small town, a huge part of town is athletics. Lovec: What has been your ultimate achievement in your sports? Hepfner: Well, jeez thats hard. I guess I didnt think I could even be a college athlete. So just being here is really an achievement to me. I ran a 1903 5k (in cross country) last year; my goal is to break 19 in the 5k and 23 in the 6k. In track, I want to break 220 in the 800m, and thats about all.

youve had in college (228). What do you think has been the difference? Hepfner: Well, actually I tied it at the end of the year I definitely do want to beat my high school time. Thats lame that I havent - I should be beating that by a lot! I just really want to break 2 20. Lovec: If you had to pick a favorite sport, what would it be? Hepfner: Basketball, just because thats what I enjoyed playing the most in high school. Its also one of the funnest sports to watch. Theres more stuff going on than just watching people run. Football would be my second favorite to watch. Lovec: Why didnt you play some of the other sports in college, basketball or even volleyball? Hepfner: Well Im not really good enough for volleyball. I really wanted to play basketballthen I tore my ACL. Time commitment is a big thing too. Cross is actually probably the least time-consuming sport, and thats nice. Lovec: What is a typical day for Renae Hepfner? Hepfner: Oh god [laughs] so lamewell I usually get up and go for a twenty minute run with my best friend Melanie. Then I go to class. Then eat lunch, then homework, then practice, then eat dinner, then call family, then homework. And I study whenever I have time in between. Not lying - thats pretty much it! Lovec: [laughs] That works! Anything else youd like to share? Hepfner: I dont believe so Cross country season ends soon; the GNAC Championships will be held October 20tat Western Oregon, followed by the NCAA CII Western Regional hosted by Hawaii Pacific on November 3. The last meet that any Jackets could partake in this year would be the NCAA DII Nationals in Joplin, Missouri. Lets all keep an eye out for our cross country peers and be sure to root them on as they wrap up their season!

By MSU BILLINGS MSUB Athletics

MSUB Teams Up with Magic City Soccer

n the middle of a very competitive season, the Montana State Billings women's soccer team took time out of their busy schedule to help out the Magic City Soccer program. This past Tuesday, the Yellowjackets visited Amend Park to participate in the Magic City Fall Academy. Kevin Luse, the director of Magic City Soccer, holds a six week Fall Academy skills clinic every year to give a chance for youth participants to keep their skills sharp during their off-season. The academy attracts both boy and girl participants' who's ages usually range from 8-14. Luse has been involved with Magic City for several years and has been a key figure in the programs' development. Magic City soccer not only helps participants develop their skills on the field, they also help individuals grow off the field. We feel very fortunate that we have a formidable partnership with the Magic City Soccer Club, stated second year head women' soccer coach Wojtek Krakowiak. Kevin is doing a great job with the club.Clinics such as this not only have an impact on the youth participants they also have an impact on the volunteers and student-athletes that help facilitate various drills. The Yellowjackets that helped in Tuesday's activities, anxiously wanted to know when the next scheduled Magic City function was so they could help out. Krakowiak, head men's

soccer coach Dan McNally and assistant men's soccer coach Alex Balog have coached Magic City soccer teams for the past several years. Krakowiak has been coaching with Magic City for the past three years and has won the U-14 girls Division 2010 Montana State Cup Championship. He also finished second with his U-16 girls team in the 2010 Montana State Cup championship. McNally has coached the Magic City Boys club soccer teams since 2006. His youth teams have won five Montana State Cup Championships in 2006, 2007, 2009, 2010 and 2012. Balog has also been active with Magic City soccer in numerous capacities. In 2012 he helped coach the U-16 Boys to a Montana state championship. Balog is also the Director of Goalkeeping for the club. Not only do we place a big emphasis on the soccer aspect of our program, but we also want our girls to have a good balance in terms of what they do off the field, Krakowiak stated. We are very big on

Photos by MSUB Media Relations

our girls' academic pursuit of excellence and our community involvement. This will be one of many events that we lend a helping hand to. Every opportunity our girls have to give back to the community is great. Magic City Soccer will continue to be very successful now and in the near future. Our players made a connection with the young boys and girls from academy. These young players and their families are always out at our games cheering us on and supporting us, so it was nice for our girls to show their appreciation and meet some of their biggest fans. The Yellowjackets' women's team is currently 11-2 overall and 7-2 in the Great Northwest Athletic Conference. Their next conference match is Saturday, Oct. 13 in Seattle, Wash. against conference rival Seattle Pacific University.

11

By TABBY MAUST Outdoors Writer

Corn Maize at Grandpas Farm Celebarates 15th Year of Fall Fun


ing ghouls in our local Corn Maize at Grandpas Farm to be a predator! We haunt it after dark to add a different appeal, says Stephen Severe, one of the owners and operators of the Corn Maize. Because the time of year were doing it, its kind of natural. The Corn Maize at Grandpas farm is celebrating its 15th year of operation at the same location on 58th Street and Grand with a Mayan Calendar design fitting for legendary 2012 and donned with a question of Were the Mayans right?. The idea for the design came from one of Severes helpers and was made a reality with the help of Brett Herbst, a professional corn maze designer who designs over 200 corn mazes around the nation each year. While this doomsday theme adds to the eeriness of the haunting, you can certainly navigate through the maze during the daylight as well. After dark, you can scare yourself every Friday and Saturday night until the 27th (including Halloween, of course), but during the day the maze is kid-friendly and has many other opportunities for fun. We have a lot of stuff anymore! says Severe. He rattles off a list of list of activities sure to please anyone from young to old, including pig races, pumpkin patch, pedal carts, delicious kettle corn, and hayrides. Of course I like the maze because that was our initial thing, but I like seeing the kids enjoying the big slide, Severe says about the giant slides on the Hay Mountain. You can have some traditional kind of fun, Severe says. You can get back to basics down on the farm. Not only that, but a whole day of fun it is only nine dollars per person, and 12 dollars for a spooky scare at night. If youre looking for something to entertain your kids, for an unusual but fun date, or even a fun birthday party idea(for you or your children!) the Corn Maize is sure to please. Its a fun thing that only comes around once a year, says Amber Murray, a biology major at Montana State University Billings. Murray has already been through the maze during the day and plans to go trek through it again while its haunted.

hold tightly to my boyfriends hand as we wander, lost, through the dark. My heart beats faster as I hearing rustling behind meno, in front of me? Our tiny pocket flashlight only illuminates the ground right in front of us, leaving the rest of the pathway a mystery. I swear that I can see something move in the black in front of us and we hesitate. No, false alarm. We continue on, warily. And now you ask, have one of my outdoor adventures gone awry? Are my boyfriend Dan and I horribly lost and in danger of being eaten by a woodland predator? Well not exactly. Unless you consider the lurk-

Severe concludes with my favorite reason for traversing my way through the Corn Maize: Who doesnt love the outdoors? Above all, heading out to the Corn Maze is a great way to get off the couch and have some outdoor fall fun. So if youre simply looking to test your navigational skills, to have a fun day out with your family, or scare the pants off yourself, the Corn Maize has it all!

Where: 58th Street W and Grand When :Opening Date: August 31, Closing Date: Nov. 3, 2012 Hours of Operation: Wed 6pm to 9pm Friday 6pm to 10pm Saturday 10am to 10pm Sun/Mon/Tue/Thurs closed Fri in Oct. 10am to 10pm Admission Maze and all attractions $9.00 Field of Screams/Cage Maze/ Maze & Attractions Fri. and Sat. evenings in Oct. & Halloween $12.00 3 and under with Adult Free

Photos by Tabby Maust

12