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G’Wiz

Vol.. #5
Galveston Wizard
Your first issue? Read up!
You’re already
four issues behind!

Start Rocking And Keep Rolling

“ACTS”
Killer Weed Saved My Life
Page 5

Idiot’s Guide To Entrepreneurship


Page 8

Galveston Island, Birthplace of Rock n’ Roll


Page 10

More!
Hurricane Season Starts June 1...
...are you prepared?

Enjoy your new


Galveston Wizard!
(Hint: Pay attention!)

A ramco OUTSIDE BLINDS


5105 BROADWAY, Galveston, TX
(409)762.9652 Toll Free 1-888-6-ARAMCO (1-888-627-2626)
Owned & Operated Since 1938 By The Milan Family

www.galvestonwizard.com
Place, cool landmark?
Pack your stuff up,
“onyx”
up Pack itt in,
in
i
Call Hick’s Auto Before you Begin...

Ron and Cecila enjoy their latte’s and G’Wiz issues at the
Dragonfly, located on the corner of T 1/2 and 61st Street. $2/
hourWi-Fi Internet usage! Check out www.galvestonwizard.
com, Galveston.com, more! (Caramel Creme....yum!) ...Your Moving Plans. Don’t forget the truck!
Words To The WISE, Criteria for Submissions
Want to submit something for publication in
the Galveston Wizard? Here are some things
We grow stronger by the day! Each and every one of us. Stronger yes, but wiser? We have you should keep in mind.
ourselves discovered that the only true enemy each and everyone of us is mortal! We will one day Be ledgible. (Typed submissions only, please,
email preferred! Submissions may be edited for
die.. content or readability.) 200-400 words for Editorial
Article Submissions, up to 100 words for letters to
That is, unless you can deliver unto us A Dragon’s Liver (certificate required), 3 Talons from the the Wizard.
now Extinct Catbird species, LaFitte’s Treasure, (on display at the Galveston Historical Foundation Be optimistic. If you present a problem, offer
solutions. What’s going wrong, what’s going
still?) and a few other ingredients! right?
Let us not side track. Our only true enemy is time. Galvestonians must work together as one if Sending artwork? Make copies. Do not send
originals as items will not be returned. (why not
we are to survive. Think of the Island as one body. We must get healthy and whole again. email a digital picture of it?)
More Good Samaritans, more noble lords, more open-ness to ideas, viewpoints, talents, Send Top Quality stuff. No blurry, small, or
otherwise unpublishable pictures. Highest
strengths and opportunities. quality jpg or pdf, please!
Helping your neighbor in their quests in the slaying of the dragon’s that oppress them, the Give details. If you do provide a picture, be
sure to include your name, contact, caption, and
more we begin to create a “bond.” other pertinent information.
This “bonding” together begins with the first smile, the first wave. Your fellow man and
Greetings From the Galveston
Wizard, Email submissions to us at:
thewiz@galvestonwizard.com
woman are you!
Sending Something snail mail? P.O. Box 3467,
Only their perceptions are different! Their world’s may be far different from yours? Galveston, Tx 77552-3467.
Communication is the key! Questions, Comments and Ideas may also be
directed to David Torkelson at 409.621.2864
If we learn (over time, this will not happen overnight) to see what other people’s world’s
are like by sharing experiences, thoughts, and ideas of our own, we open up communication for
mutually beneficial understanding and opportunity! Submission
Don’t let your fear of the unknown keep you from the realm of the known.
Deadline!
-Galveston Wizard for next issue is June 6th
Are we all ready to take it to the next level?
Here goes... You’ve now got deadlines. You, the
PP.S.
.S. ccompletely
omplet
etelyy unrelated
unrelated note, sselect
elect re
readers
eaders hhad
ad aann iissue
ssuue w
ss with
ith a near “nipple” shot in our reader!
Mardi Gras wrap up.
upp. We
We are
are unable
unnable to
to deliver
deliver any response other than that we are merely offer Just send the stuff you’ve been meaning to, and
we’ll put it out there!
ourselves as an edutatnment guide. to island happenings. The world we live in is very unique Businesses? We’re ready to run with you. Our
readers keep up! (Up on finding all of the
and we are only a mirror. We’ve heard it said, “If you don’t want to see it in print, don’t do it.” Let’s exciting and unique things they can do here.
Time is ticking!
throw beads, not punches! Write back soon!

“Let the Galveston Wizard Guide You.”


Publisher Marc Phillips Advertising Distribution
Cont.

David Torkelson Hoy Polloi David Torkelson David Torkelson


Jamie Steichen Linda Sivy Brandon Baughn
Editor In Chief David Stanowski
David Torkelson Eric Greer Design/Layout Webmaster
David Torkelson David Torkelson
Contributors Photography Mingo “X”
David Torkelson David Torkelson Marc Phillips ???
Sylvester Imagician (Your name could be
Captain Chinbeard Marc Phillips right here! Every journey
Imagician/Gordon Haire begins with a first step!)
What is it you seek?
Web site: www.galvestonwizard.com Email: thewiz@galvestonwizard.com
Phone: 409.621.2864 Mail: P.O. Box 3467 Galveston Texas 77552-3467
From the Realm
4 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

As always, the Galveston Wizard looks forward to hearing from our readers! Below are just a few of the letters that we received from
readers just like you! We want to hear from you! Send thoughts, ideas, suggestions and corrections to thewiz@galvestonwizard.com
Wizard, website some more! AND, you took
I love what you guys are doing! It your wizard logo off of the front Subject: RE: Driving Range Coupon
gets me excited about Galveston all page!!! NO NO! Roger,
over again!
Keep up the good work! Got it!, and Thanks for paying atten- Greetings from the Galveston Wizard!
-Avid Reader tion! Are there any other areas of interest that we can relay to our readers re-
garding the range, etc? Also, we heard the assumed transfer of the beer
Thank you, Avid Reader! Wiz, sale option was undermined by TABC? Beer Available ?
We appreciate your note of support! I just got a video camera, I don’t How is the response on the bucket of balls coupon? It may take the time
Support our advertisers and help know what kind of webspace you to get our readers’ full attention, but if they can find it in there, they will
spread the word about us! Thanks have, but maybe we could make eventually use it! (or one like it!) How could we capture more of there
again! We appreciate the opportunity some videos for the GWiz website. attention? A bigger ad! What about professional golf instruction?
to find you!
Phase 2 of our Web site is coming
Galveston Wizard,
G’Wiz, soon! Check for updates at www.
I see you’ve been working on the galvestonwizard.com We have had a couple of responses on the coupon, and we now have
our beer license so come by and hit some balls and have a cold one. At
Send us an email! (Or even a letter!) this time I don’t know of anything going on. We will be planning some
clinics in the near future and golf lessons are available by the pro Joe
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Russo by appointment.

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the only way to do it!
Want more? Got an idea? Got something to say?
Say it thru the Galveston Wizard! Email or write us
ideas, pics, articles, rants, or anything else you think ads Be aware of your speed as you go thru life!
your fellow man could do with hearing. Remember, life’s a journey, not a destination.
And guess what? You are at the controls, no
Contact info page 2! What the...?
one else. Where do you want to go?
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 5
Killer Weed Saved My Life
Without Mary Jane’s help, I treat it like heroin, crack cocaine and alcohol and tobacco.
couldn’t have kicked my alcohol and methamphetamine in the Drug War, in - No verification is found
nicotine addictions. I’d be in prison, spite of the fact that, after a thorough of a causal relationship between
a mental institution or the grave now study, the National Commission on marihuana use and subsequent
if I had not utilized the marijuana Marijuana and Drug Abuse (the Shafer heroin use.
maintenance program and the 12 steps Commission) determined that pot - Most users, young
of Alcoholics Anonymous to wean was relatively harmless and should be and old, demonstrate an
myself away from booze. I also used legalized in 1972. average or above-average
pot to quit smoking tobacco. And The Shafer Commission findings degree of social functioning,
I’m not the only one who’s done this. include: academic achievement, and job proven that marihuana use significantly
Unfortunately, people are to afraid to - No significant physical, performance. impairs driving ability or
publicly praise pot because the War on biochemical, or mental abnormalities - In sum, the weight of the evidence performance.
Drugs focuses so hard on this beneficial could be attributed solely to their is that marihuana does not cause - No reliable evidence exists
herb. marihuana smoking.” (National violent or aggressive behavior; if indicating that marihuana causes
It is ridiculous to maintain this Commission on Marihuana and anything marihuana serves to inhibit the genetic defects in man.
senseless marijuana prohibition, while Drug Abuse, “Marihuana: A Signal expression of such behavior. - Marihuana’s relative potential for
any adult can legally and easily obtain of Misunderstanding; First Report, - In short marihuana is not harm to the vast majority of individual
over the counter of any convenience Washington, DC, U.S. Govt. Print. Off, generally viewed by participants in the users and its actual impact on society
store two of the most deadly addictive 1972) criminal justice community as a major does not justify a social policy designed
drugs known to mankind and - No valid stereotype of a contributing influence in the commission to seek out and firmly punish those who
womankind. Tobacco and alcohol are marihuana user or non-user can be of delinquent or criminal acts.” use it.
well known killers. More people have drawn. See the report at http://www.
- Neither the marihuana user nor
druglibrary.org/schaffer/library/studies/nc/
died from water overdose than from - Young people who choose the drug itself can be said to constitute a
ncmenu.htm
marijuana overdose. There is no such to experiment with marihuana are danger to public safety.
thing as a lethal dose of marijuana, fundamentally the same people, socially - Recent research has not yet
but the powers that be choose to and psychologically, as those who use See Weed, pg 25
Music Spotlight by Eric Greer
Remember way back in without doing homework. I didn’t don’t stop there. During a time well. And with the discipline I was
the second issue we wrote about have a home so I failed. I worked when other quote the phrase, “Tis given, it’s my obligation to give
this guy Paypa the Ghost? Well, it real hard to keep that secret. the season ”; Antonio Smith ques- back.”
turns out that this man is more than “Enrolling myself in tions, “ What about the other sea- By the way Paypa’s album,
meets the eye. With a bit more school, not letting my teachers sons? Are there not hungry people My Life, My Tears, My Pen Vol
research, one can go beneath the know... I got away with it for a in the spring?” I for one think char- 1...Malnourished, is available now
surface. while.” He pauses as the story qui- ity is too important to be bound by on cdbaby, i-tunes, and . “I don’t
You’d be hard-pressed to etly moves in to his CPS days. seasons. So when you consider his want you to support me because
find a more well-rounded guy. “I remember not being a two jobs, his own company to run, you like my music. It’s hot, that’s a
You would have to mass a gang of happy child. I remember a lot of AND his care giving! given. I want you to buy my album
life experiences to be so humbled, unanswered questions. Things that I asked him where he because you support me. And feel
some of which might take you no child should ever have to ask. I finds the time for it all, A ques- my struggle. I don’t need corner
from the lowest of lows to the thank God for my grandmother.” tion he said he would have to get men good, truth be told all I need
highest expectations of your self. Once in CPS’s custody, his grand- back with me on. You see giving is one fan. (A play on one of the
Lows Paypa knows, very famil- mother, Lorraine Smith, took him to those less fortunate is second tracks from his album.)With one
iarly. But he has come along way in without hesitation. nature to Paypa. “The little that I fan I know that person likes me for
from a homeless juvenile to perse- When you consider his can do to help others that are in the me, and really cares what I have to
vere other the toughest odds. nursing background, it’s no wonder position I once held pale in com- say.”
I ask him that he remem- why he dedicates his all to her in parison to what they need. I just do “And any word to your
bers from that time in his life. “I her time of need now. “Caring for what I can. I learned how to give doubters?” we asked in summa-
remember failing the fifth and six her is the reason I got into nursing when I was in the Army. It’s not tion.
grade. It wasn’t because I didn’t in the first place.” always about money. Sometimes “Thank you.”
get it, but it’s hard to pass math And his tireless efforts giving can be calculated in time as Spoken like a true man of class.
Catch Paypa at ”Word War 2” July 28th at Ms. Margarets Club, 3114 Market Street, Galveston 77550. Doors open at 7pm, show starts at 7:30. Hosted by Terell Smith

from the vault...


A recent text message informed
us that if none of us had bought gas
on May 15th, the gas companies
would have lost 2 billion dollars and
gas would have dropped 36 cents per
gallon. The message then went on to
Don’t forget to tip! say that it happened that way in 1997.
Sarah plays the Violin on the We were then told to pass the message
Strand. Support your local on. We missed the day, but you get the
creative expressions! idea, right? Did it work?
6 Start
S tart Rocking
Rocking aand
ndd K
Keep
eep R
Rolling
olling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Sylvester the Cat


(guest columnist)
“Holy Moly” and “Sufferin’ Succotash!” I’m more nervous than a
long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs!

Hadn’t had one cat give up until everyone is us go across Harborside. Cat.”
this week get run over by an ex aerobic instructor No tourists or stray cats Tom’s STILL de-
an electrified wheelchair, dying of absolutely noth- for downtown I guess. pressed with Kon Tiki
but plenty of close calls. ing. The best pickins this gone and the Balinese
Poor Tom, my We headed out to week out of the garbage Room shuttin’ down. He
drinkin’ buddy went to the the cruise terminals this for us cats was DiBella’s says his great-great-great-
“Candidate’s Forum” and week for some hand outs. on 31st and P, but even granddad went there when
came back all depressed. Didn’t seem anyone had that was pretty slim. I re- they still had gambling.
Seems there was this much time for us. Too ally don’t want this get- Says the female fe-
doctor of some type car- busy getting ready for ting around, but Tom and lines were thick as fleas
pin about “second hand their leisure time, wait- I had a pretty good meal in those days. But Tom’s
cigarette smoke.” Tom is ing in long lines, traf- there and headed over to always depressed about
one of those bright cats fic snarls, people cutting Cocktails for Karaoke. somethin.
and knows bullshit when lines, and more snarls. They always let me waltz Galveston’s still a
he smells it. Tom’s de- The one person who did right in and I don’t feel great place as long as you
pressed because he says take notice of us was the too indignant when they can stay out of the dog
“Those fanatics won’t traffic cop. Wouldn’t let call me the “Cocktails pound.

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We won’t beat See Cat Read. Read Cat Read! These
down your door The Lovely
to get you in the Cat does lovely
next issue of the a quick
glance thru
ladies
Galveston Wizard, the most at the
but we would love r e c e n t
to have you! issue of the Artillery
Galveston
Readers, promote Wizard! C l u b
your ideas! “ F u l l thanked
Businesses, pro- Color!” she
mote your services
observes. us for
and merchandise! “For your t h e i r
pleasure!”
thewiz@galvestonwizard.com we we copies! “Enjoy!”
respond.
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 7

Lone Star Flight Extravaganza!


The 17th Annual Spirit of Flight Air Show and Special Guests! At our own
Scholes International Airport! Lone Star Flight Museum, Ron Carter, Moody
Gardens, Landry’s, and Others sponsored the event. Learn more at www.
lonestarflight.org! How can we get from Galveston’s Airport to Dallas? What do
we do? Is it going to cost me way more than, say Southwest Airlines? How can we
make it that way. 2 flight options per week to different places? Let’s figure it out,
readers!
Flashback to April 28-29th. (Similar to today but sunny, ten degrees cooler and
with a breeze!)
e e Photo credit Todd MacKenzie

e
e
(Think “Sound Effect”)

y
Y
YOOOM!
Wanna learn? We’ve heard Steve Stroud can teach ya. 741-8313

When the lovely young hostess at LUIGI’S asked me to wait just a


M y first day out was iffy. I wasn’t quite sure
what to expect. It had been a couple of On The Job moment, I think I expected to be greeted by the manager. Nope. Out came
Luigi Ferre himself, covered in pasta dust. I became hungry just looking at
months since I explored the market happenings with Linda Sivy him. He left his kitchen while making pasta just to come speak with me. I felt
“in town”.
honored. This was big for me.
Growing up here has made me believe my memories of Galveston will
I strolled right into TINA’S next. This place smells great. Tessa
always be somewhat consistent, though I’ve watched this island transform
McWilliams was very informative and friendly. I felt completely at ease while
many times. Not too many major changes, right? Wrong.
there. I’ll shop there because I liked what I saw and because Tessa was nice to
Armed with contracts, rate sheets and issues of The Wizard, I was off.
me. Good ole customer service at it’s finest.
My iffy start quickly became interesting. En route, two blocks from where
Did I mention, The Galveston Wizard eagerly pursues ongoing
I parked my car, I felt the sudden urge to look for the nearest lavatory. Low
relationships with potential advertisers and sponsors to help educate and inform
and behold, STEWART TITLE. Thank goodness they knew me. Whew! I
its readership of the products and services available in Galveston, as well as the
was privileged to have had a nice visit with Harriet Dues. She calls me Lou.
island itself? Just checking. Where was I?
This was an auspicious beginning for my new role and journey as marketing
My last stop was the best. I walked right into my two most mischievous
something-or-other for The Wizard. I’ve been planting seeds all week to see
brothers, Damian and Darren Patrick with JUNK IT Mobile Dumpsters
what feedback I would receive while doing my duty and feeling out new and
(281-559-1705). I enjoyed their company while they bought me a drink at
established businesses that could advertise at a fantastic price. Now it was time
TSUNAMI. After I pitched my sale, I was challenged to a drinking contest.
to convince them.
Bless them both. I left, a little less-sober, with a partial contract in hand. I’ll
I set out for JUJU’S. This one was going to be tough. I felt all the
see them on Sunday to seal the deal.
male eyes stare me up and down as I entered. I asked the barmaid if I could
It was a success, then. Both on Wizard terms and more personal ones.
please speak with owner. Ha. One of them was standing right there at the bar. Not only did I score some ad sales, I was delighted by the new people I met,
Randy was a delight. He made me giggle. I’m sure he will soon remember me. treated nicely everywhere I went, obtained free booze, had great conversation
I’ll be back to see him again, soon. Real soon, OK Randy? While I moseyed AND discovered that I have so many new and exciting shops, restaurants,
down the Strand to the next establishment, I looked around. No, I mean really galleries, studios and so much more to visit and sell ad space too… right? I’ll
looked around. Things were different. New stores were all around me that see YOU soon. The Galveston Wizard eagerly pursues ongoing relationships
I’ve not ever been into. As a BOI, local, Ball High graduate, avid partier and with potential advertisers and sponsors to help educate and inform its readership
partaker of anything that occurs on the Strand, I was ashamed. Where have I of the--- Wait, I already said that. Maybe not as less-sober as I thought I was.
been? Out west too long? Thanks again, Damian and Darren.
(Staying cool in the heat.)
Bring this coupon to the
B i l l
Island Driving Range w o r k i n g
the Jupiter
Jump at the
“That’s
not what
GET A Airshow.
Only $7
Bucks. We we think
Large Bucket imagined our
camera flying it is, is
of Balls thru the air
and shattering
into a million
it?”
For the price of a medium!
pieces.
(or a medium bucket for a small if you like your current handicap) M a y b e
next time Bill.
Located at 9020 Stewart Road (409)741-1357
. .maybe next
time!
“It sure is!”
Jo Ann sits on a motorized cooler!
(Near the back entrance to Premiere Cinema!) Call Jim at 713.503.6783 to for a cool ride
8 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling Self Employed Checklist G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard
Idiot’s guide to Author unknown
Step 1: Figure out what’s holding you back.
Entrepreneurship If you have been stuck in a bad situation and have not gotten the courage to leave,
it might be time to do some soul searching. That’s what Lisa, a former marketing account
manager in Missouri, did. She had been with the same company for more than two years, all of
We know what many of you are think- which had been extremely unpleasant. She disagreed with the company’s business philosophy,
ing... “What’s Entrepreneurship?!” I guess we’ll felt unappreciated and overworked, and knew she had no future there. But she remained with
go where we always go first, the dictionary! (Go her employer, even though she was unhappy.
get one already! They’re fun! Think that’s no “It was difficult for me to leave because no matter how bad I felt my job was, it was still a job
and a paycheck. My job was a security blanket,” she said. She finally realized that she needed
fun? Try a Spanish/English dictionary foo’ !) the confidence to try something new and had to be sure she had another source of income
American Heritage Dictionary of the English before leaving. What’s keeping you at your job? Once you have identified your own personal
Language desribes “Entrepreneurship” as a per- roadblock you can figure out how to get around it.
Step 2: Get your financial house in order.
son, who organizes, operates, and assumes the If it is possible to stay at your job for a little while longer, you might be able to save up
risk for business ventures. (Undertake) a “bridge fund” to help get you through a period of unemployment. If you just need to break
You’ve done it when getting others to put in free now, there are options. You can tap into your savings, cut back on unnecessary expenses,
money on pizza. Or organized a group event. or ask for support from your family.
That’s what Christie did. As an accountant, she had grown tired of her career and felt
Achieving your dreams and reaching your aspi- unfulfilled. She opted to quit without another job lined up, and had to move back in with her
rations is completely up to you. No one else can parents to make ends meet while she figured out her plan. She got a job at a restaurant, saved
make it happen. some money, and applied to the Peace Corps. She is now a volunteer who puts her business
experience to use helping those in need. “While it was hard to give up the security of a well-
So we guess the next question is, “What do you paying job and a challenge to move back home, it was the right decision in the long run,” she
want to do?” said.
We’ll let that sink in for a moment. Step 3: Look into temporary options.
So what do you want to do?!! Hah! Thought Lisa didn’t feel comfortable leaving her job without another position lined up, so she
agreed to work at a family member’s company temporarily while she figured out what she
we’d move and talk about something else! Let us wanted to do. Temp work is a great option for individuals who can’t go without a job for any
continue! When you’ve got the idea of what you amount of time. Consider freelancing options and look into sites like Sologig.com. There may
want to do, point yourself in that direction! also be seasonal or part-time work you can consider, like being a camp counselor or lifeguard
during the summer. Taking an opportunity like this will give you the flexibility to continue your
The journey will not be an easy one! And you job search and might be a nice change from you regular routine.
will find yourself meeting obstacles nearly every Step 4: Set goals.
step of the way! Sometimes it is difficult to try something new if you don’t know where you’re headed.
As you begin to figure out the success “formula” Make your transition easier and set some real, attainable goals. These might mean setting an
“end of the line” date for when you will resign or develop a manageable networking plan. Pick
for your business venture, you will begin to a date to get your resume together and review online job sites to see what types of positions are
see other layers of opportunity above the one available in your areas of interest. The bottom line is giving yourself a game plan to follow will
you knew. As you put yourself out there behind make it easier for you to make real changes.
Step 5: Remember what’s really important.
something that you believe in and take pride in, You spend a lot of time at work, so you certainly should do something that makes you
others will get excited about it too! Keep up the happy. There are so many jobs and opportunities out there, there’s just no excuse for staying in
good work, team! a situation that you hate. So do something good for yourself - declare your own independence
this summer and start following your dreams!
”?burcs uoy ,tey sdrac ssenisub toG“!tsaF knihT
Promotions! The saying goes, “It takes
Prioritise!
Disciplining yourself to where you are
money to make money.” This is true! Ev-
ery smart investment that you make with
maximizing your efforts at all times can your business will yield more money in
be difficult! Networking ‘til two may the future! Use money is a tool to reach
cost you that business at 9:30 the next your dreams, not as your main goal.
day!
What is it that you really want to do? This will help your “Network-
Don’t allow yourself to be caught up in
the conflict that WILL surround you as ing” which, if done well and for
Organize! Humans, like all things, are you embark on your quest! long enough, will make your life
constantly looking to go from a high It does get easier with time. (We hope!) “Easier.” Whoops, forgot to turn
As you get better at handling your busi- the quotaion for empahsis effect Plans! Write it down! It’s all impor-
pressure system to a lower pressure
ness, more opportunities will present “off.” tant! Mapping out where you want
system. What tools could you use to themselves to further stretch and grow
help make things easier? What helps to be and making steps to get there
you in your ventures! Don’t forget, it is will yield amazing results. Where you
you? Tell us so we can tell your fellow ok to ask for help! Well there it went again!
readers! headed? Better to figure out now!
Want to know what running your own business
Just Great.
Think You feels like? Ask someone who Is Running one.
What advice/suggestions could they offer you?

Are Ready for


an Ad This
size? We are all in this life together! Check out photog-
rapher Imagician’s work online! You can purchase
prints at his site, http://imagician.zenfolio.com!
Can’t think of a place to start?
Douglas at Douglas’ Mens Store is a nice business.
They have everything! One could go in there com-
the more you buy, the more lenses he can buy and pletely naked (we wouldn’t advise “that” though)
(We’d be glad to have you!) places he can be to bring you more pics! Sweet! and come out looking like a million bucks!
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 9

Organize a “Think Tank!”


(photo credit: The Imagician)

“In the film, Coach Carter, a steps forward. “I’ll do push-ups for ity Lodge. Teamwork is more than friend forwarded us their link and we
player named Timo quits the team him,” he says. “You said we’re a working together—it’s sharing one thought we might forward to for your
and later asks to be reinstated. Coach team. One person struggles, we all another’s burdens in the high calling observations. . . why not?
tells Timo he must complete 2,500 struggle. One person triumphs, we all of our daily work. Teaming up and taking on proj-
push-ups and 1,000 sprint drills in triumph.” The teammate drops to the Carry each other’s burdens , and ects together makes them easier on
five days. But by Friday, Timo is short floor and begins doing push-ups. One in this way you will fulfill the law of everyone! Perhaps you have a series
of both goals, and Carter asks him to by one, the rest of the team joins to Christ. (Gal. 6:2)” of skills that your fellow man is lack-
leave the gym. help. Timo reach his goal. Get more encouragement and ing! What exciting projects and ven-
At that point, another player This is Howard Butt, Jr., of La- ideas at www.thehighcalling.org. A tures could we embark on together?

As far in every direction


as we could see, vehicles
followed the convoy
leading Eddie Tamez, a
Galvestonian slain while
serving in Iraq, to his final
resting place.
Our hearts go out to
those who have lost loved
one’s in our country’s war
efforts, and our prayers go
out for a safe return to all
of our soldier’s still at risk
for the sake of our country.
We cannot express our
thanks enough for your
service and sacrifice!
10 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard
Galveston Island...
Birthplace of Rock ‘n’ Roll
by Gordon Haire

Roy Brown wrote, arranged, sang it, and it became a


performed “Good Rockin’ Tonight,”
arguably the first true Rock ‘n’ Roll local hit. While in Galveston,
song, on The Island in 1947. Good
he made his first record, for
Rockin’ Tonight was the second
Elvis Presley song for Sun Records Gold Star.
in 1954, and has since been covered Brown fled Galveston
by Pat Boone, James Brown, after he was caught fucking
and Kevin DuBrow. “Rockin’ the girlfriend of the club
at Midnight,” Brown’s sequel to owner he was working for.
“Good Rockin’ Tonight,” was a top In New Orleans he ran into
30s hit in the 1980s by Robert Plant Cecil Gant, a fellow unsung-
and the Honeydrippers. In the book, hero-to-be. Gant heard
“Island of Color: Where Juneteenth Brown’s “Good Rockin’
Started” by Izola Ethel Fedford Tonight” and brought him
Collins, some old time local jazz to Jules Braun, who owned
musicians claim that Brown wrote DeLuxe Records. Brown’s
“Rock Around The Clock.” first DeLuxe release, “Good
In “Unsung Heroes Of Rock Rockin’ Tonight,” was issued
‘n’ Roll,” Nick Tosches writes: in September 1947.
From Shreveport he went According to
Wikipedia, the free
to Galveston, Texas, where he encyclopedia, Brown offered
the song to Wynonie Harris,
wrote the song that made him who turned it down, but
changed his mind after
famous. “I think we had the first Brown’s record became a
black group on radio in that area,” local hit in New Orleans.
Harris recorded his version
he say… But I wrote a tune called of “Good Rockin’ Tonight”in
December that year, and
‘Good Rockin’ Tonight.’ We added released it in February 1948.
a trumpet player to the group. Harris’s version was much
wilder, and was a #1 R&B hit
His name was Wilbert Brown, that remained on the chart for Roy Brown performed “Good Rockin’ Tonight,” the first Rock ‘n’ Roll
half a year, while Brown’s song, at the KGBC studio in the Commerce Building, 2102 Strand. Where
and when we did our radio show original version charted for is the historical marker?
just one week in 1948, and
on KGBC he sang ‘Good Rockin’ only after Harris’ recording which might be thought of as a craze of using gospel style
Tonight.’” One fateful day, Wilbert was a hit. “Good Rocking Tonight part II” backbeats in blues and rhythm and
The song’s success jump- because it included updates on the blues records, and that craze led to
fell sick and Roy sang the song. started Brown’s career, which same characters as the original.
included two #1 R&B hits. In 1949, It reached #2 on the R&B chart, Continues at “Birthplace”
The audience loved the way Roy he released Rockin’ at Midnight, a where it remained for a month. Page 28
sequel to Good Rocking Tonight, Harris’s version started (Our First Jump! Ready? Weeee!)
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 11

Boss Hogg Rolls in The Hood, Gets His Ride Pimped Racial Harmony on The Job
Mss. March, May, June, & All-Year-Long
White man: Hung-over, not injured.
M. Phillips

M y mission: to ascertain the threat level for a Caucasian


wandering the seawall during The Texas Beach Party
Weekend (aka Kappa Weekend, April 20-22). There are
two ways to accomplish this. I could kidnap an obsessive
marathon runner, tie him in a chair and drill on his teeth.
“Is it safe?” I’d keep asking him, though never clarifying
exactly what “it” is. Our editor wouldn’t subsidize that
method (evidently, dental drills are expensive and he’s
not a Laurence Olivier fan) so I was left with nothing but
the alternative. Go and find out for myself. I’m as white
as they come, and therefore highly qualified for the job.
Yep- Big Ol Snake, Lil Bitty 4wheeler With the Matching Shoes and all...
Did I feel threatened? Well, yes. I found myself in
imminent danger of a brain freeze from the piña coladas at
the Holiday Inn SunSpree bar. Otherwise, the experience
was marginally more dangerous than mowing my lawn and
a good deal safer than a Mexican revolution in Chiapas. It
was more fun than watching the History Channel, and wholly
less tiresome than Scrabble. I hope that clears things up.
Did I feel awkward? Absolutely – just as awkward as
a six-four hippy with 25 pounds of camera gear feels…pretty
much everywhere he goes. As ever, I strongly recommend
joining the party before you knock it. Mine wasn’t the only
pale face in the crowd and, with the exception of that belligerent
Rasta at the three-card Monte table, I was met with hospitality
Cops Abound, Pimps Gotta Lay Low at every turn. If anyone else was rude or hostile to me, it He called this move: “The Fo Hunnut
(Alternate: “It’s a tip jar.”) happened after the seventh colada and is thus not memorable.
Dolla Mistake”
Houston R&B Artist,
Bertell, doesn’t give
free CD review copies
to journalists, damn it
(left).
My barstool at
the SunSpree was
considerably safer
than where that kid is
standing (right).
Let us help you with your quest!

Call your Mother!


(again)

Happy Belated Mother’s Day

May 13th
And tell her that the

Galveston Wizard Take the time to get back to nature.


Appreciate the world that you live
made you do it! in. Take a deep breath. You are alive!
12 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Restaurant Guide by Robert Taylor and Tim Thompson

Courtyard Cafe Once of the nice things about It was very


2519 Market the German-Czech menu is that tasty.
(409) 763-3845. it’s very simple, never more than The other
about four major entrees, which member of
This is the first in a series usually include such standards the party had
of reviews of local Galveston as Wienerschnitzel, Stuffed a sausage As seen in the countless times
eateries and restaurants. We are Cabbage, Hungarian Goulash, sandwich, we’ve all driven past it and not
not food critics, just two guys Chicken Paprikash, and Sausage. complete paid attention.
who like to nosh. Today we are You can choose from several with sauer-
reviewing the Courtyard Cafe, sides, which include sauteed red kraut, which Why not check it out?
located at 25th and Market. It’s cabbage, garden salad, sliced was not on An incredible quest!
only open Thursday, Friday and cucumbers in vinegar, and potato the menu but
Saturday nights and they do not salad. Dessert, such as German Klos was will-
accept credit cards, so bring Chocolate Cake or Bread Pud- ing enough Klos built the whole place him-
cash. This european-style restau- ding, is also usually available. to whip it up. Add some spicy self and it’s reminiscent of Euro-
rant is owned by Ladislav Klos, mustard and you’re in heaven. pean classical architecture. On
who hails from Bratislav, Slova- The other night, a nice cool The sides, especially the garden Friday nights the African Drum
kia of all places. Klos (he goes night that we enjoyed out on the salad and the sauteed red cab- Circle usually meets there, and
by “Klaus”), a local building patio, we ate there. One of us bage, were delicious. sometimes on weekends there is
contractor and long-time Galves- had the Wienerschnitzel, which Another nice thing about live accordion music. Check out
ton soccer player, runs Courtyard is NOT a hot dog, mind you, but Courtyard is the ambiance--it’s one of the best-kept secrets in
with his lovely wife Terry. breaded and fried pork cutlet. like no other place in Galveston. downtown G-town.
(Please visit www.galvestonwizard.com for advertising opportunities)

Mom and Pop


p rrestaurant true to it’s Name
Tradition of excellence, hospitality, and good
ooood food
fooo at DiBella’s Italian Restaurant

The DiBella name has been synonymouss elbow


elboo grease, and lots of old family pictures!)
with the tradition of good food and hospitalityy Di Be Bel
Bel la's DiBella’s has developed the reputation as the
elllla
since Placido DiBella arrived on Galveston Island sslla
lannd “Cheers”
“Ch
Cheers”
h of Galveston...a
G place where everybody
from Sicily over a hundred years ago. knows
knno
nows
ows yourr name!n
Frank “Nickels” DiBella (Pops) earned ear his
hs Nearly every
e night, diners can find Charley
nickname as the gentleman in charge arge
gee ofo Galves-
G
Gal es
Galv es-- making
mak akk ngg his
h rounds, and the friendly service team
hi
ton City parking meters for 30 years. year
ars.
arrs.
rs. Sanda
S
Sand
Saand nda
da
d is
i always
alwlw y serving up the tastiest Italian Food!
Marie DiBella (Mama) had no trouble trou
roub
oubl
ou
ublelee earning
ear
arni
arn
rn
ningg In the
th
t kitchen you’ll discover the spirit of
Advertisement

her reputation as the best cook okk on


on the
thhe
he Island.
Isl
Issslan
lan
and
and.
nd.
n Mama
M a DiBella D
Di watching over the staff as they

Di Be
Bel
elllla's
Anyone can tell you taht Mama’s ama
ama’
m mealsmeaeals
aalsllss were
weereree make
maake you the best b pasta on the island! The
truly something to behold.
ehold. Frankie,
F Charley,
Charle
harley, eyy,
ey, DiBella’s
DiB
Di hope that you will enjoy the family
and Josephine would
ouuld often
ould often come
co
coomee home
home
ome to pasta pasta atmosphere
atm
tm
mo
m osp
osph
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ph that iss as
ph a rich as their food!
drying on their beds
edss ini preparation
prepar
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atio off thee meals m
me ls
mea So come
come
mee relive
rre vee great
gre
reaat Italian Cooking in a
re Frank “Nickels” (Pop) & Sanda Marie (Mama)
to come. Each meal
mea
ealall included
includ
includeded 3 meat
meatt entrees,
entrees
ntrees traditional
trad
trad
addition
ddiition
on
n Italian
nal Italia
alia Restaurant.
Reesta
Restaura
eestaur
staaur DiBella’s is open The DiBella’s
lasagna, meatballs,
lss vegetables,
veg
vege
vegetabless and an a cornucopia
cornuc
ccornu nucopi piiaa
ppia Tuesday
Tueesda
Tu esdday
es y - Friday
Frida for
Fri
Frid or lunch
llun
unc from 11-2, and for
of homemade desserts.
desser
de
essseeert
esse rts.
rts
tss. Those
T
Those were
were truly
w t
tr the
he days
days dinner din
dinnnnne
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rom
m 5-9
5--99 (Tues-Thurs
(Tues-
(T es Thur
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of good food, goodI TA L I A N R E S TA U R A N T
good conversation,
conversation
conv tion and
an no concern conncern n 10 10 (Fri
(Fri - Sat)
S t)) Cash
Sa Ca
Cash
ash or
or Check
The DiBella Family sends a heartfelt special
Cheeck only. Located at 31st thank you to Jennifer Bryant, and would like to
for cholesterol!
est
este
ste1
ro !s t and Ave P and
and Avenue
A enu
Ave en
nuue P on Galveston
alve
lvveessto
ton
onn Island.
Is
I la
lan
3
In 1989, Al’s Cafe became DiBella’s Italian
Ga
alveston Island For reservations, large parties, catering or
wish all the best to her husband Dan, and the girls,
Keely, Caroline and Grace.
Restaurant! (with the help of a little paint, some info call 409.763.9036

9 WORDS WOMEN USE


1. Fine: This is the word
women use to end an argument
when they are right and you need
to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If
she is getting dressed, this means
a half an hour. Five minutes is
only five minutes if you have just
is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you
should be on your toes. Argu-
ments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is
a dare, not permission. Don’t Do
It!
ders why she is wasting her time thanking you, do not question, or
standing here and arguing with Faint. Just say you’re welcome.
you about nothing. (Refer back
to #3 for the meaning of noth-
ing.)

6. That’s Okay: This


is one of the most dangerous
statements a women can make
8. Whatever: Is a wom-
en’s way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don’t worry about it,


I got it: Another dangerous state-
ment, meaning this is something
been given five more minutes to to a man. That’s okay means she that a woman has told a man to
watch the game before helping 5. Loud Sigh: This is ac- wants to think long and hard be- do several times, but is now doing
around the tually a word, but is a non-verbal fore deciding how and when you it herself. This will later result in
house. statement often misunderstood will pay for your mistake. a man asking “What’s wrong?”
by men. A loud sigh means she For the woman’s response refer
3. Nothing: This thinks you are an idiot and won- 7. Thanks: A woman is to #3.
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 13
“ I Guess you’re not ready for that one yet...
Where are our Night-Life Wizards at?
The philosopher “Beck” once nar- the understood idea of “It” is different for
rated to insanely “Whir-ry”lyrics the phrase nearly everybody!
“Where it’s at!” and the backdrop of se- There is a checklist of things in each of
quential claps emphasizes the phrase “I’ve our mind’s when we consider whether or
got two turntables and a microphone.” not we want to be “Where It’s At,” on any
We know you are out there...finding given day of the week.
“Where it’s at.” Want there to be more people with si-
We are also looking for “Where it’s miliar interests at your favorite place to be?
At!” But here’s the thing.... (stay with us While “where it’s at” for some may be
here)... two turn tables in a microphone, imagine A true nightlife wizard will know where this is...
“Where it’s at.” with the “it” being the how many others are looking for speakers,
understood “best place to be.” is an elusive interesting events, places, specials, discus-
title to maintain! sion groups, services. They just need a
As we analyze this phrase, we run guide.
into additional problems! It turns out that How may we be of service?
...but you kids are gonna love it!”
Check out http://www.galvestonmusicscene.com/ and http://www.therealgalveston.com/ for a few good ideas!

by David Stanowski
The investmestment that the country as a whole is pulse, whether or not they to be sold to pay bills, and
community, and the spending more than our total really qualified for the loans. service debt.
financial press, seem to be income, and financing this The other step was to allow At the same time,
nearly breathless in their lifestyle with credit. “creative payment terms” that the amount of liquid assets,
pronouncements that the world the applicants could handle for and current income needed
is “awash in liquidity”! Their the first few months, but would to service mortgages has
implication is that liquidity is put them in “debtor’s hell” when
always a good thing! However, the terms reset. This added debt
liquidity can come from two has created an unprecedented
sources: savings or credit. It is lack of liquidity at the household
obvious that this liquidity did not level. American households no
come from savings, but from longer have the cash to meet
a concerted effort by central
bankers to stop the financial
meltdown caused by the stock
market collapse of 2000-2003.
Their methodology was accelerated upward.
not to “print money”, but rather There are only two ways
to extend credit to nearly anyone that this household liquidity
who wanted it. At the same time, squeeze can resolve itself.
many who had accumulated People will either become very
equity in their homes, chose to frugal, and live on far less than
withdraw some of it with home- their liabilities. their debt service costs, for
equity loans, which added to the What assets households many years, which will allow
outstanding household debt. Most of the newly still have are becoming more them to reduce these huge
As borrowing and spending created credit ended up in the and more illiquid, made up as debts. Or, a massive wave of
increased, our national savings residential real estate market such things as real estate, cars, bankruptcies will erase much
dropped even further, so that it as mortgages were written boats, furniture and jewelery. of the debt for them. Which do
is now negative, which means for virtually anyone with a Things that will eventually have you think is more likely?
Visit David Stanowski’s ultra-informative Financial Web site at http://www.thefinancialhelpcenter.com Become a finance wizard!

Make something of yourselves!


(Photography from Issue #2)

www.galvestonwizard.com

Hmm...this guy might have a few


Contact The Wizard for professional photos at your
event or place of business. Ad photos & formatting
“Do it for Tuffy!” ideas as to what’s going on in the
music scene in Galveston....
available: thewiz@galvestonwizard.com (We’ll get those b@st@rds)
14 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Server Underground The 2 year itch - Waiting tables in Galveston


by
anonymous underground server (Uncut Version)

Anyone who has ever their restaurant, ask them how -refilling someone’s water get in the restaurant
waited tables will know long they’ve been working is like pulling teeth -you throw down in the
immediately what I’m referring there. I will give any server -you’ve put eye drops in an wait station
to when I speak of the two props for staying at a restaurant unruly customer’s meal (don’t -not even the free bread is
year itch. Two years at one longer than 2 years while being do.) palatable
restaurant is about how long it completely content in doing so. -while handing back the tip -every day your boss
takes to master the position and You know you’ve got the two you’ve said “you need this more seems more and more like an
then get completely burned out year itch when: than I do” to a bad tipper. incompetent idiot
and want to either move on to -you wake up in the middle -the sound of your co- -you’ve figured out every
another restaurant, or get out of the night and think “I forgot workers voice makes you want co-workers’ “server character”
of the business completely. If to get that table the straw they to punch them -your table has overheard
you have ever gone out to eat asked for” -you’ve lost all faith in you gossiping about them
and have noticed that your -you’ve thrown change at generosity and add a gratuity to -you’ve paid off your boss
server seems to hate their job customers as they walk out the every large party or the hostess to get the good
and resent you for eating in door. -you hate any section you tables
Got an article idea? A scenario so hilarious it must be shared with others in the industry? 200 words!

Reader Appreciation Night


OU!
Behold! The Galveston Wizard invites you to meet us at D’Vine Wine for a night of mingling in a completely unprecedented

Y
Good. You see? The true readers are still with us!
Check it out! From 6-7, readers armed with some form of this invita-
Tuesday May 29th
tion will receive a free Tasting Courtesy of D’Vine Wine. Also Specu-
loos will be offering samples as well! That’s a taste of three different

E
types of wine. For free! (AND Truffles!) Additional samplings (that’s

TO U!
6-7pm “Come as you are, but bring your wallet!”
Must Be 21 to drink. ID REQUIRED

E 2301 Strand
another 3) can be purchased for $5.

YO
R
Magically turn any D’Vine bottle into a Wizard wine at no additional charge!

TO
F
So tell a few of your nicer friends about this amazing event opportunity
before you forget and we’ll see you then!
R E E
“Enjoy the fruits of your effortsF
We dare you to make it!
to DO something. “

and
and, of
Courtesy of course,
the
Petit Fours and Truffles by Chef Becky Galveston Wizard

“Take
care
of the
one’s
Nearly every person polled in our recent study said that
you Don’t be “blind” to the
they prefer “sun tan” toned physiques to the increas-
ingly popular “television tans,” which has seemingly
swept the nation. Which one are you working on?
love!” opportunities that
surround you!
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 15
A group of graduate students and Check out the
professors at Texas A&M University have 570-feet-tall San
set out to understand what species can be transported Jacinto Monu-
across the world’s oceans, inside the ballast tanks of sea mement! Wow!
going vessels. The basis of the project is to understand
the survival of micro-organisms, specifically bacteria,
invertebrates and phytoplankton that are transported in
ballast water. Ships take on and release ballast water to
compensate for weight added or removed from the vessel.
If a ship takes on fuel, they will deballast (dump water)
and as the ship burns that fuel the ballast tanks will be
refilled. Regulations are in place to control where ships
can dump the ballast water they carry on the ship. If a ship
has taken on coastal water they can only dump it in the same area
they acquired the water and if water is taken on in the open ocean it
can basically be dumped anywhere. This is supposed to help control
invasive and exotic species from being transported to a new location.
Not all transported species are invasive but if they adapt to their new
environment they can disrupt the original ecosystem in various ways. Texas has a very interesting
Some examples of the effects of invasive species are decreasing
biodiversity of native ecosystems and decreasing the quality of habitats
history! Check it out!
for native organisms, ranging from algae to fish (www.fws.gov). We
are collecting samples from ships ballast tanks as well as port samples.
We are working to create an extensive database of species that are
surviving in ballast tanks as well as a survey of species that are living
in different waters around the world. In a local effort we are collecting
samples from the major ports along the Texas coastline, including
Port of Houston. Samples have also been collected from the ports and
estuarine system all along the Texas coast and they will be analyzed
using molecular methods to identify the species that are occupying “D@mn Tourists!”
“Hmm.” Labeling ballast and ship
these waters. If any of you readers have access to ballast water feel Oh well! When in
channel water tanks.
free to contact me at jls4513@tamu.edu. Together we can work Rome...!
together to improve the quality of our oceans!!

Written By Jamie Steichen Cleaning the truck back in


Galveston. Diesel ain’t easy
to find, it seems!

GPS readings, nets, jugs, and writing in note-


books with pencils! Look at these scientists go!
“Do Not Trust This Man”

ADVERTISE
yourself and
your business
AND help us
keep the lights
on at our office at
the same time!
xoxo! For more information:
Congratulations Sharon and Igor Capoferri. check out www.galvestonwiwzard.com
Married April 25th, 2007 or call (409)621-2864
16 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard
Vamanos a jugar futbol!
GOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOO
OOOOOOL!
DE DONDE JUGAR?
This magic trick is some-
Phlat where between a gag and
magic effect.You can use this
when you get a call or when-
ever you need to phone some-
one and have a crowd.
Your cell phone begins to ring. You tell your friends that the thing is Then grab your wallet with your right hand and bring it in
so small you keep losing it, so you keep it in your wallet. front of your body. As you do this, take the wallet with your
left hand (figure 1). Pretend to reach into your wallet with
As you explain this to your friends you reach into your back pocket and your right hand and produce the phone that was hidden in
pull out your wallet. You open your wallet and produce your phone. your hand (figure 5).

The Secret Copyright 2006 Andrew Mayne reserved.


Cell phones have gotten small, but we
haven’t reached the point yet where you
can safely stick one in your back wallet.
So in order to create the illusion we have
to use a bit of subterfuge. Prior to reach-
ing for your wallet, secretly palm your
phone into your right hand (figure 3).
Special thanks to Andrew Mayne. Check out www.iTricks.com for more fun magic and more!

Pasted Panoramic View of La Costa Productions’ Studio.

Featuring a Full Wall Mural by Isaac, also Mahogany’s album coming soon!
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 17

Out on the Town!


We set out on the town to get peo-
ple as excited as we were about
the Galveston Wizard! New
friends made and old friends
found in new places! The Galves-
ton Wizard T-Shirts were a hit!

Top (At Right): Kraze K and Eve Chillin @ O.C.B.


They found a new home in G-Town from K.C. Nice to
meet you! Bottom Left (At Right): Chance enjoys a
smoke after a long session of promotions...and who’s
that behind the bar at O.C.B.? Go check it out! Bottom
Right (also at Right): Blinded By the Flash on the
camera and shouting about the Wizard!

$2 OFF HURTS
Preventive
Maintenance Great Styles
a Regular or Large Combo at
Hair Salon
$ 2 00
LESS!
with this coupon. Kenneth S. Gluski, D.D.S., P.C
OFF
ANY HAIRCUT
Hrs: Mon-Fri 11:00 to 8:00 pm, WITH THIS AD
Sat and Sun 11-3:00pm. FAMILY DENTISTRY Located at
ORTHODONTICS 4615 Fort Crockett Blvd (409)762-4100
One coupon per customer per visit. (Behind Academy) Walk In or Appointment
Valid only at 2221 Market St. Galveston (409)765-9190 25th & K (Coupon Valid with Virginia Only)
18 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

“In a World at war with itself.” Want to organize a


Video Game
Tournament

?
We need details.
Possible Dine and Gaming
Opportunity Combo?

Wild Wings
with GameCrazy
“Get your joystick greasy”

the
June
ne 4th
Doorway Collective Guitar Her
Hero 2
by
garyCOLLINS & davidTORKELSON
illustrated by M Gears of W
Nintendo
War
Wa
ar
do Wii
a y b
Isaac ALMAGUER
M
Good Times
Galveston College student Priscilla Hartranft re-
Snack Attack! cently won an award at The Texas Society of Radiologic
Technologists held in South Padre Island, TX. Hartranft,
a student in the radiation therapy program and upcom-
ing graduate, placed third in the student manuscript
competition. Students are required to write a technical
manuscript on a cutting edge technology or treatment
procedure. This is the fourth year in a row the Galves-
ton College Radiation Therapy Program has placed in
the student competition at the state society. In 2004,
the program won 1st, 2nd & 3rd place, in 2005 the pro-
gram won 2nd place and won 2nd place again in 2006.
Cut up a skinned cucumber, squeeze Haven’t you been thinking about going back to
half of a lemon over slices, sprinkle school? See the Galveston College Ad, page 5 for more
paprika to taste and start munching! details!
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 19
Tim Day talks with a happy hour patron!
“To new friendships, and new possibilities!”
While completing an order form Rooftop Bar off of Seawall And Broadway.
for our Phase III business cards at Minute- Several gatherings that he had hosted there
man Printing, we were asked if we knew of has placed him in the position of unofficial
a local named Tim Day making waves on master of ceremonies to the Friday Happy
the island, and who has also been working Hour. “We want to create a place where
on many projects with Minuteman Printing. business people can meet and network. See-
We had, but didn’t know immediately how ing what other people are doing, and how
we could contact him. they can create work together.”
They said we should definitely talk We made the trip, curious our-
to him, and they even printed up one of his selves as to how the renovations at Chico’s
cards for us to have right there! (They might Paradise were going, and to investigation of
even do that for us someday! Nice!) We the festivities.
called him after we left Minuteman Printing A toast at the end of our first happy
and he informed us that he was actually hour networking visit went thusly, “To new
himself heading to a Networking Happy friendships, and New Possibilities.” Cheers!
Hour that he hosts at Chico’s Paradise’s Go see!
(Best GM ever?)

New additions! Post work gatherings! Rachelle, Renea and Donnie First things first.

Advertising is simple!

“If”
We can get to
Galveston quicker
now...we hope!
1,000people
with

$1,500
Taken 04/27/07
Could buy the
Progress! This billboard, as seen at the intersection of 11th
and SeaWall, reminds us that as we become more
consistent, we will be able to bring you more con-
Balinese Room together!
sistent and timely advertismenets and promotions! Who would run it? What would you do with it? Sounds like fun!
20 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Zombies Ate My Package


by You-Staring-At-My-Package?

I’ve more than once heard it said Remember, if you throw some-
that anything not nailed down on your thing on the ground without regard to the
property is subject to thorough inspection or fact that someone else will have to pick it
removal by unseen forces. up, then you are being highly inconsiderate
My philosophy has been always to your fellow islander.
been one of “Remove Temptation and there If you take something that does
is none.” and lavish yard furnishings or not belong to you, or put yourself in a
other amneties seem to be down on the list. situation where you would be tempted to
But what happens when you start missing covet and steal what others work for, be
packages meant for delivery at your house? mindful of how it affects those people with
When you come home to find that a book which you are victimizing.
you had ordered online had been cut open, We are all on this island together.
inspected, and then re-taped shut! If you want something, go out and get it
Little things like missing radios, or the right way. Earn it!
blatant rummagings by unknown trespass- Please respect your fellow Galve-
ers has many residents jaded and angry. stonians’ property and belongings as we
Often can also find local fast food ask them to be respectful of your property
burger wrappers, styrofoam fragments, or and belongings. Everybody wins when
empty beer cans on our many well-traveled we treat others’ like we would like to be
streets on our fair island. treated! “munch munch”

Have a great idea for a T-Shirt?

Wait a minute! Only you can make it hap-


pen! So now what? “graphic designers on hand!”
We are seeking serious clients for silk- If you're going to be a

Turd
screen production work. Make it real!

Suck it up and spend the money! It will


be worth it when you get the final prod-
uct in your hands! Also, it gets cheaper
by the dozen! We all win!
Go lay in the yard.
What ideas do you have for T-Shirts? Galves-
ton Specific or Worldwide? Maybe both?
Sizes? Number of Colors? Front and Back?
Call us at 409.621.2864
Random:
Check out the Original
Sidecar of Galveston!

Did you
know that
the human
body is
composed
of about
60% water?

Drink up! Capture the attention of thousands of readers! Email


More info? 832.453.8292 us something at thewiz@galvestonwizard.com
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 21

Don’t
Do
on’
on
n’t’t Fo
Forget
org
or
rge
get
et too Sm
SSmile
Smi
Smile!
mi
miile
ille
le!
e! Joke: and said “OK, you can go now, but keep
Belle on the leash and only go one time
round the block.”
Contagious!) ouusus!s!)s!!)

A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I The little girl left and returned a few minutes
It’st’t’s’ Contagious!

take the dog for a walk around the block?”


gioious

later with no dog on the leash. Surprised,


Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.” Dad asked, “Where’s Belle?”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
taggio

The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about


“Go ask your father. I think he’s in the ga-
onontntatagi

halfway down the block, so another dog is


rage.” pushing her home.”
Conta

The little girl goes to the garage and says,


“Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around
the block? I asked Mom, but she said the Quote:
Co

dog was in heat,


and to come to you.” Honest differences are often a healthy sign of
Dad said, “Bring Belle over here.” He took progress.
(I(It’s
Its

a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed -Mahatma Gandhi


(It’

the dog’s backside with it to disguise the Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)
scent,

J immy Barnes came away from the University of North


Texas with a Bachelor of Arts degree and dreams of Keeping Art Abreast guided fishing trips and acting as chauffeur. I forgot to
ask if he ever paints their tits. When there’s a shortage of
teaching art at his high school alma mater. One glance skin to adorn, Jimmy can be found creating commercial
at the pay scale for teachers and he decided he needed art, yet another sideline. Locally, you can see his 2D
another dream. I imagine Jimmy taking a logical approach work at Novo’s West End and Demitris Cabaret.
here – listing what he’s qualified to do and what he likes, Jimmy vows he’ll never retire from tit painting.
then looking for gainful employment meeting some of He still remembers every one, nearly a decade of
both criteria: bazooms. During our interview at Novo’s, he stares
1. I can paint absently at the table between us and regales me with
2. I like titties stories of private parties and custom choppers spanning
Short lists are usually the best ones. I first met Jimmy at both melons. Jimmy acknowledges the shock value of
Gravity Restaurant & Bar (2120 Strand) where he can often his medium (acrylic on booby), and he still gets a kick
be found plying his trade during local events. He’s been out of seeing his work on the internet.
painting titties since 1999 and conservatively estimates “Ever get any dates out of it?” I ask. Coming around to
he’s handled over 1000 breasts (500 pairs). He’s got me the requisite question.
“Not generally, but I got a phone number last weekend.
I’m hopeful.”
As I stand to pay my check, apropos of an earlier topic
he adds, “You need
control, patience, and
a good location to do
this job. And you
beat. “Oh yeah,” he says, “not a bad gig.” I’m inclined to go
need to have another
along with him there, adding a couple of expletives and an
job. [Tit painting] is
imbecilic grin. Can’t help it.
more of a habit.”
However, when Jimmy says, “After [painting tits]
“Did you say hobby?”
so long, it’s just a job now,” I’m sure he’s understating his
I asked.
level of job satisfaction somewhat. Along with two partners,
“No.”
Jimmy also runs Cabana Boys Concierge Service (www.
cabanaboyservice.com), catering to the year-round needs M. Phillips
of vacationers, from booking accommodations to arranging War Correspondent
22 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Confessions of a Fire Eater by Charity

Many of you Galvestonians may have a byproduct called DDGS (Distillers corn, Indigenous cultures
seen me and my group Pyrosphere Dried Grains with Solubles) is created, of this continent (corn, or
swinging flames around town. Many which can be used to feed animals. maize originated in Central
of you have also slipped a tip into my Corn Farmers all across the nation are America) have held corn to
hat (Thanx once again! :~) however, rejoicing in the boom ethanol fuel will be sacred and essential for
since we all live off Island and we bring to their business, As I was rejoic- thousands of years. The
drive around all of the time, most of ing when I saw a decal on the fuel door Mayans say the Gods added
those tips have been going straight of the car saying “Ethanol Fuel or Un- their blood to cornmeal to
into the gas tank. A full tank would leaded Gas Only”. Our car takes this make humans, and they
get us about 125 miles, which left us stuff and we had no idea. So at $2.45 absolutely depended upon Imagine doubling your gas mileage,
pulling over and pumping quite a bit. a gallon, we filled her up. Within corn (maize) as the one staple their at $2.45 a gallon, you do the math. To
My Partner Kali happened to be filling the first day we noticed a significant diet could not be without. At the risk find out if your car takes it, look on
up at a Kroger Gas Island when he change in how smooth the motor was of sounding CORNY I can assure the inside of the fuel door for a decal
noticed a yellow hose with a big stop running, and how clean the exhaust you, now my car’s diet will never be saying Ethanol or Flex Fuel Vehicle.
sign on the handle that read for Flex smelled. Not only that, we drove 250 without it. For a list of cars that use Flex Fuel visit
Fuel Vehicles only, 85% Ethanol. miles after the first time filling it up Now for the bad news, at present time http://fueleconomy.gov/feg/byfueltype.
This fuel is 85% Ethanol and 15% with E85, doubling our gas mileage. I have been unable to find a source on htm For a list of locations that sell E85
gasoline. The ethanol used in this case I cannot even describe the feeling I the Island. The closest place would visit http://www.e85refueling.com/ If
is made from corn, which is fermented have driving around with E85 fuel, be the new Kroger on Highway 96 we all are saving money on our fuel,
and turned to alcohol (the exhaust but it’s like a dream come true, I kept in League City, however many of the we’ll have more to support the local
smells like moonshine!). 1 bushel of wanting to shout about it to the world, Kroger’s in the Houston area with a economy.
corn (35 liters) makes 2.8 gallons of hence this article. It is interesting that gas island offer E85. The money you www.myspace.com/pyrospheric ,
ethanol (10 liters), also 18 pounds of my savior should come in the form of will save makes it well worth the trip. www.myspace.com/charity66

Auction at the Ar Della’s Surry Dock!


(Below the Poop Deck!)

June 24th @ 30th and SeaWall


Dennis Creasy
Breakfast Available with $5 donation Benefit Auction
(Advertisement)

9 am to Noon
Auction Begins at 10 am

Jan 9, ‘07, UTMB saved Dennis’ life. He had a cerebral an-


eurysm rupture, and spent 21 days in ICU. The hosp. bill is
over $200,000.00. But he STILL requires surgery to repair
2 more before they rupture as well.
Any and all donations are GREATLY appreciated
If donating w/check, pls. make checks payable to UTMB,
and include “30001300045 Hershel Dennis Creasy” on the
ck. to insure that payment is made to his acct.
For any further information or questions pls. call the
Poop Deck @ (409) 763-9151.

Because a Cab Fare


(Pony keg grill gets overrun with weeds!)

ReVamp the SeaWall?


Is Cheaper than a
Imagine an island-wide fundraiser where various lengths
of the Seawall in need of color updates or complete

D.U.I. renovation are rented to philanthropic organizations as


canvases. Local artists are then sought to organize, coor-
dinate and allocate grants to budding artists to decorate
their section to donor’s specifications.
What would we do with that money? Make the Seawall

Tropical Taxi our best storm defense ever? Wall of wind generators?
Catwalks so tourists walk over the Seawall? City-owned
parking garages (free or cheap)? Seawall Lighting proj-
Gotyourgrillgoingyet?! ects?
409.621.4000
Clean, Full-Sized Cars and 7 Passenger Vans! Invite us over!
What would you spend the money on, Sim City style?
Check out previous Seawall artists’ site at www.razzbar-
rys.com. Nice work! Maybe he can tell us more!
24-hour service on or off the Island!
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 23

Our Story begins on a day like any other day...


People across the globe are still can’t believe we walk with our begin helping humans
waking up to their worlds as they heads pointed skyward! Why don’t reach their levels of
have always known it. (“I Can’t we fall to the clouds? sophistication.
forget to pay the electric bill!” or The goal of their diplomacy is Technology and
I’ve got that meeting at 2pm!”) to exchange their technology and information from the
Those people that work while most wisdom for the one thing their planet Naciremans provide
of us sleep know just how different is in desperate need of, water. Humans the greatest
today is! The people of earth welcome leap their species had
Aliens have made contact the Nacireman’s with parades and ever known. Humans
with earthlings and have docked celebrations across the globe, and are instructed that
themselves on the moon. They the people look with new hope to “communication,”
politely await a meeting with the these Nacireman saviors. and “harmony” are
world’s leaders, and they come in The first several months of the two main goals of
peace! Better yet, they bring promise this new era prove promising to the any “higher species.”
of a new, better way of living! people of earth! But change does not However, the
They are not Aliens in U.F.O.’s come easy. Pockets of discontent separation between The biggest mistake one can
but are actually a Nacireman species emerge as “flaws” in their society are “higher species” and “lower species” make is assuming that because
just three light years away! They brought to the light and scrutinized. is more of a sliding scale, as every you don’t understand a language,
live underground on their planet, as Nacireman representatives in creature, plant, or animal on earth doesn’t make their thoughts, ideas,
the sun is harsh. A cool planet core certain areas are even met with open all “can” communicate, but the and potential any different from
has them actually living in a world hostility and hatred. The Naciremans “forward conversations” are only
much like ours, but inside out! They know only of their ways, and quickly held by “higher species.” See Story, pg 27

It only takes a minute to read this...


A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this shows at least 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little
fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered
to call paramedics) and that she had just tripped over a
brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up
and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit
shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of
the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone
that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00 pm,
Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ.
Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, per-
haps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die. They
end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. RECOGNIZING A STROKE:
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke Thank God for the sense to remember the “3” steps, STR. Read and Learn!
victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of
a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke rec- Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the
ognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain
cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple

Together we can! questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE .

T * Ask the person to TALK, to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE


(Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today)
When the first lawn mower starts on a Saturday morning, many stir in
their beds for the first time. There’s so much to get done today! Remem- R* Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS .
ber, It’s only work if you treat it that way.
Work can be fun! It’s the getting your body to do something you don’t *NOTE: Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is this:
necessarily want to do that is difficult! The strain of laziness, if overcome
with action, sets in motion oceans of opportunity and potential for your Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue. If the tongue is ‘crooked’,
day! if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke If he
But that doesn’t mean you can’t nap for 5 more minutes...it IS Saturday or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately and
after all. describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
24 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Say “Thanks,” “Congrats,” “Happy B-Day” or “Just Because” with the

Giny Hogan Collection


Choose from a wide variety of watercolor designs by Island Artist Giny Hogan,
Then you customize the design and put it on any of the following:

T-Shirts Stickers Home Decor


Clocks Coffee Mugs And More!

Purchase from the full collection online at


www.zazzle.com/ginyhogan
www.cafepress.com/ginyhogan
and support your local island artists!
Do you know
where this wa- If you have
terfall lies in Advertiser
“No Comment”
the realm of
Galveston? Then we can’t know
Take the time what you think!
to explore your YOU are the wizard.
island. There
are many jewels
out there! thewiz@galvestonwizard.com

The Grand Kids Fes


Festival
ival
“Wusses” miss cool event because...
Happened
H pp S
“it was cold outside”
Sat. Ap
April 7,, 2007

It’s “cold in light jacket weath-


er” outside, but we scored a
10:00am to 5:00 pm

Susan, Donna, Kelly, Becky, and


free ticket to the Grand Kids
Festival at the Grand Opera Diana Davison pose for a pic!
House.

Better check it out! A good (Above) Donna warms herself on (Above) Curtis and Jahhi
time! The first time we had handled the music. Good
actually been inside the main
Dr. Dolphin’s fur. Wait a minute,
dolphins don’t have fur! stuff.
theatre! (Sad, we know!) All
we could see was potential!
Who would you want to see (At our 4 o’clock) Holly and Nicki
at the Opera House? just chillin outside. Scored a Schlit- (Above) George, behind clay
terbahn bookmark and an
nd some Kassie warms her sculptures made recently by some
Musician? Commedian?
business cards! hands on hot choco- children. He Teaches Ceramics
Please god don’t say Larry
the Cable Guy! What about
a concert in there? Four
bands, 18 bucks?
(Below) Kids in what
appears to be farm ani-
4 “Yeah, we got one too!” late. Clowns look on.

(At Right) New friends here


ans Sculpture at the C.O.M .

have a philosophy... “Re-


mal costumes. . . spect for all life Interde-
pendence Reverence Stew-
ardship of nature. www.
Adam Black and tipitellers.org “Stories, just
(Snicker!)
Wanda Taylor at for the tell of it.”
the first Aid Table
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 25

Ask Bruse Loyd


Editor’s note: The information in this column is not intended as legal advice but to provide a
general understanding of the law. Readers with legal problems, including those whose questions
are addressed here, should consult attorneys for advice on their particular circumstances.

We had readers lob a few questions to our friend and attorney, Bruse Loyd. Check out the responses!
Question #1 for the matter to be brought to his superior’s deny your request. Your best bet is to stay
“I was stopped for a curfew violation and attention, so this sort of behavior doesn’t out of trouble, until you can afford it.
the officer took my phone and went thru it. continue.
Is this a violation of my privacy, and if so, Question #3
how can I protect my right to privacy?” Question #2 “I was recently hit by a City Vehicle (a
“I had an attorney for a felony case and I big one), and the authorities held them
1. Yes, your civil rights were likely violated. fired him. What procedure must I follow to responsible. They then put the pieces of
A law enforcement officer may conduct get a court-appointed lawyer to represent my bumper and fender in my car and
a warrant-less search of your person or my case? towed my car away. How do I best go
property during a traffic stop, but only if he about getting my life back to where it was
or she has ‘probable cause’ or a legitimate 2. Make a request for a court appointed before this all happened?
safety concern. Unless you are excluding attorney to the Court your case is in – but
important facts in describing the incident, it don’t count on getting one. The State of 3. Sue the City and the driver for property
sounds like the officer had no legal reason to Texas has a law called the Texas Fair damage, and if applicable, personal injury.
search your cell phone. How can you protect Defense Act. Each Texas County is required In some instances, the City can be held
the privacy of the data within your cell phone? to make and submit a plan to administer responsible for the acts of its employees’
Reference your user manual and turn on your this Act in its courts. However, it’s not that committed during the course and scope of
key-lock feature. Regarding the officer’s easy to get court appointed lawyer – also their employment. Although municipalities
actions, realistically, there isn’t much you can referred to as ‘indigent representation’ – for in Texas enjoy certain immunities from
do, other than maybe file a formal complaint a reason. For example, in order to get free lawsuits, if you have a good case, you can
with his or her department. It does not sound representation in Galveston County, you prevail and be compensated for your
like the officer’s actions warrant a federal must sign a ‘Pauper’s Oath’ (yeah, that’s loss. Also, don’t delay pursuing your
lawsuit for violations of your constitutional what it’s really called), swearing that you claim if you think you have one, the
rights, but it would probably serve the officer cannot afford a lawyer and showing, in law limits the timeframe in which
(and the public he or she is sworn to protect) great detail, why. Even then, the Court may claims can be filed. Good luck.
Got a question of your own? Email thewiz@galvestonwizard.com, Subject Line: Ask Bruse Loyd
driver. The irony is that I don’t like to drive came from the National Institute on “cooperating individual”—that’s the
From Weed, pg. 5 stoned, and will get behind the wheel only Drug Addiction (NIDA). Practically all official cop term for snitch – has much
when there is no other choice. I am aware of the pseudo scientific anti-marijuana more moral character than the people for
It’s been more that 35 years since
of my impairment and compensate for it. I misinformation comes from NIDA at whom he works. The last “cooperating
Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon received that
just make sure I’m not driving slow enough taxpayers’ expense. (I’ll expose NIDA’s individual” I met was a convicted baby
report, ignored
to warrant unwanted attention from the policies and practices in a future column.) raper.)
it, and declared War on Drugs.
constabulary. The main reason that Once people discover that they
His decision was blatantly hypocritical,
I have been through a the-powers-that-be oppose the legalization can get a safe and healthy high without
since he was an alcoholic addicted to
30-day drug and alcohol treatment program of marijuana is that there is no profit in a subsequent hangover, they might just
prescription medications. Thirty-five
(two days to detoxify and 28 days of legal pot. In fact, the Killer Weed could cut abandon booze. The legal drug dealers
years later, even though everyone should
treatment.) After completing the treatment deeply into the huge profits being raked would really lose out when folks suffering
know better, this lunacy persists. Drunk
program, I continued to attend group in the lawyers, doctors, pharmaceutical from stress related erectile function
drivers, who pose a clear and imminent
therapy sessions for eight months. During companies, and the booze industry. There discovered that weed works wonders for
threat to lives and property, and who are
that time, I never met anyone who was is no telling how much money lawyers the libido by greatly enhancing all of the
a real danger to themselves and others,
seeking treatment for marijuana addiction. make “defending” harmless pot smokers senses. Ball High would have a whole new
are treated much more leniently than pot
There were coke heads, hop heads, speed at taxpayers’ expense. Court appointed meaning. People who never heard of the
smokers.
freaks, upper freaks, downer freaks. attorneys milk the system for everything it’s Galveston Independent School District’s
I loved to drive when I
The resident physician worth before copping a plea – something high school would be wearing Ball High
drank. Boozing, cruising and barhopping
gave lectures on drug addiction, and the defendant could do himself. The drug jerseys. I’m certain that the jersey number
was my favorite passtime. Fortunately, I
everyone took her seriously until she enforcement cops and their slimeball 69 would be extremely popular.
never ran into another vehicle or person
started putting out the Reefer Madness Pot informants would have to find a way to
while driving drunk, but I did damage a few
Propaganda. You would have thought that make an honest living. (I’ll expose law Lightin’ up,
highway signs and guardrails. The insanity
she was a standup comic. She was literally enforcement’s dirty tricks and underhanded
of it all was that I thought I was a great
laughed out of the room. Her information techniques in a later column. The slimyest Jay Tokerman

Quickly! Smilin' on
Type this number into your phone!
the Island
409.741.1700
Save it as “Premiere Cinema.”
Now,wheneveryouthink,“Hey,
what’s playing and when?”
Just call the number ! remind
them that the Galveston Wiz-
ard Guided you THere!
Friendly reminder from the League of Gallant Friends of Galveston
26 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

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planets closer to home are being Earthlings that they will make every usages.
From Story
page 23
developed at a rapid rate. effort to continue future relations
and technology exchanges when the
The people of earth are now
equipped with the knowledge of
yours. For instance, a grasshopper A religious zealot assassinates people have had the time to fully good and evil. They know how to do
is a “higher species,” while a snail a Nacireman diplomat on the implement and absorb the new way it wrong, and suddenly every piece
is a “lower species” simply because European continent and an outbreak of life they have been learned. of history is a harsh reminder of
it spends all of it’s time sleeping, of pockets of dissent emerge. Many The earth is given one more their true ignorance and newness to
foraging or massaging it’s underbelly organizations and groups find chance. The flood waters of neglect the world they occupy.
with occasional movement across themselves questioning the benefits have been pushed back, like the day Many humans now realize
the surface texture the snail is of the technology this Alien race of the Great Flood. that they are not the only species
looking for. brings. The water that the Naciremans on the earth, and still many more
The only way to determine a The pillars of change that have taken to utilize as fuel on their get uncomfortable when asked if
species’ place on the Naciremans’ the Naciremans are able to instill own world allows the earth itself they think that humans really are a
scale is to communicate with it. “The and facilitate creak and groan as to take on new changes. Seafront “higher species.” Time will tell, the
communication barrier is the one the Naciremans figure out how to property becomes countryside, the Naciremans decide.
enemy, the bringer of wars, hatred, continue the progress they have ice caps begin to re-emerge, ocean We are left again, floating thru
and destruction.” made, but many grow homesick of currents reestablish their vigorous space. We’ve learned a lot.
Various terrorizing attacks their worlds. A partially telepathic tour around the large land masses, The Naciremans neglected to
on the Nacireman diplomats and race, many Naciremans take on and the climate reacts positively. share their technology fully with us,
their impressive transports strain physical sickness at the strain of The re-supply of Nacireman only their ideology.
relations. Soon Nacireman Aqua thoughts and words of their loved air supply, in the form of Carbon Looks like we Earthlings will
Transports returning to be filled ones back home. Dioxide, alleviates the Green House have plenty of time to absorb what
come bearing news of uncertainty as The people of Naciremans effects and has scientists, engineers, we have learned.
to the effectiveness of the trips. New eventually withdraw nearly all of and thinkers worldwide searching Hopefully, when we are ready,
developments with other liquids on their encampments, and inform for harmony in its fuel and energy we will be ready.

Next Issue: Check out all


Working title, “On keeping a young mind”
of our previous
Galveston.com investigation
Poaching at the Wild Game volumes on-
Arlissa “Advice Column” line!
Our First Event Covered! (pg 14 for details)
Bacon, Cooking with Grease Also, this one
in full color!
You got better ideas?
Let us know! Send us an email! Why wait!
Marla, John Henry Newton, and Danni all
pose for a picture! Thanks for reading!
www.galvestonwizard.com
28 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

Birthplace Island is the Birthplace of Rock mothers to help them do so. harm
continued from page 10 ‘n’ Roll and that radio station Of course, Rock ‘n’ Roll is Baby, bring my rockin’ shoes
rock and roll. KGBC was the first white station alive and well on Galveston Island, ‘Cause tonight I’m gonna
Elvis probably performed to air the first Rock ‘n’ Roll song? with the energetic live music scene rock away all my blues
“Good Rockin’ Tonight,” when Does anybody even know his at our bars and nightclubs. We need Have you heard the news,
he appeared at the Galveston City name? I never heard of him before to keep this talent on Galveston there’s good rockin’ tonight
Coliseum January 19, 1956. Former I accidentally discovered him while Island.
Galveston cop, Oscae Eklund researching something else on the Well, Elder Brown, Deacon
told me that, prior to his act, Elvis internet. The lyrics: Jones,
was caught in the back seat of his What in hell is wrong with GOOD ROCKIN’ TONIGHT They’ve left their happy home
Cadillac convertible with a 14- the people who are paid good (Roy Brown) They’ll be there, just you wait
year-old girl. Oscar suspected that money to promote The Island? and see
the police commissioner Walter We need to celebrate, promote, I heard the news, there’s good A-jumpin’ and a-stompin’ at
Johnston got paid off, because Elvis encourage and support our local rockin’ tonight the jubilee
was allowed to perform, then given musicians, actors, dancers, artists Gonna hold my baby as tight Hey man, there’s good rockin’
a police escort over the causeway, and writers. as I can tonight
and told never to set foot on The Roy Brown and The Tonight she’ll know I’m a Sweet Lorraine, Sioux City
Island again. Island’s Rock ‘n’ Roll legacy has mighty man Sue,
Are there any Roy Brown been ignored. Mrs. Collins, in her I heard the news, there’s good Sweet Georgia Brown,
historical markers or monuments? book at least preserves some of the rockin’ tonight Caledonia, too
Do any streets or buildings bear history of jazz in Galveston. The They’ll be there jumpin’ like
Brown’s name? Is anyone beside Galveston Island Jazz Ambassadors Oh, lead me in the alley mad Hey, sister, ain’t you glad
yours truly proclaiming that The keep that legacy alive, and receive behind the barn We got the news there’s good
a pittance from the city fathers and Don’t be afraid, I’ll do you no rockin’ tonight!

Man humbles self, gets rewarded! (2 kings 5:1-14, KJV Bible)


1. Now Naaman, captain Go to, go, and I will send a it was [so], when Elisha the and strike his hand over the
of the host of the king of letter unto the king of Israel. man of God had heard that place, and recover the leper.
Syria, was a great man with And he departed, and took the king of Israel had rent 12. [Are] not Abana and
his master, and honourable, with him ten talents of silver, his clothes, that he sent to Pharpar, rivers of Damascus,
because by him the Lord and six thousand [pieces] of the king, saying, Wherefore better than all the waters of
had given deliverance unto gold, and ten changes of rai- hast thou rent thy clothes? Israel? may I not wash in
Syria: he was also a mighty ment. 6. And he brought the let him come now to me, them, and be clean? So he
man in valour, [but he was] letter to the king of Israel, and he shall know that there turned and went away in a
a leper. 2. And the Syrians saying, Now when this letter is a prophet in Israel. 9. rage. 13. And his servants
had gone out by companies, is come unto thee, behold, I So Naaman came with his came near, and spake unto
and had brought away cap- have [therewith] sent Naa- horses and with his chariot, him, and said, My father, [if]
tive out of the land of Israel man my servant to thee, that and stood at the door of the the prophet had bid thee [do
a little maid; and she waited thou mayest recover him of house of Elisha. 10. And some] great thing, wouldest
on Naaman’s wife. 3. And his leprosy. 7. And it came Elisha sent a messenger unto thou not have done [it]? how
she said unto her mistress, to pass, when the king of him, saying, Go and wash much rather then, when he
Would God my lord [were] Israel had read the letter, in Jordan seven times, and saith to thee, Wash, and be
with the prophet that [is] that he rent his clothes, and thy flesh shall come again clean? 14. Then went he
in Samaria! for he would said, [Am] I God, to kill and to thee, and thou shalt be down, and dipped himself
recover him of his leprosy. to make alive, that this man clean. 11. But Naaman was seven times in Jordan, ac-
4. And [one] went in, and doth send unto me to re- wroth, and went away, and cording to the saying of the
told his lord, saying, Thus cover a man of his leprosy? said, Behold, I thought, He man of God: and his flesh
and thus said the maid that wherefore consider, I pray will surely come out to me, came again like unto the
[is] of the land of Israel. 5. you, and see how he seeketh and stand, and call on the flesh of a little child, and he
And the king of Syria said, a quarrel against me. 8. And name of the Lord his God, was clean.

Big James
www.galvestonwizard.com Start
Startt Rocking
R and Keep Rolling 29

Brother-Have you got


ot a dime? I mean $10.00!
By Danni Owens
Hello Galvestonians!! window, yelling, “Who do you
I know there are plenty of you
out there that have complaints
think you are?” – Well, I’m the
person you are begging from
“A quick moment of zen.”
of your own. Please write me and the answer is no…so keep
and let me know what they moving!
are. The Galveston Wizard Don’t be fooled by these
will give you a forum to air scam artists. A young girl came
those complaints. into the business where I
This first gripe is mine previously worke. She asked for
and no doubt one that you also ten dollars so she and her mom
deal with if you live here or could get back to Houston.
visit. Panhandlers-Beggars- “We’re broke. We lost all of our
Con Artists money.”
Please don’t give money “Do I know you? I asked.
to these people. We will never “No.” replied the girl. “Then why
see any improvement if we would I give you the money?”
continue to give. Don’t be She goes next door to the
intimidated by these people. dentist office and comes back
The ones that are with twenty dollars given to her
“hungry” turn down your offer by an older woman in the waiting
of food and would rather have room. coming out. One customer that improving, and should not be
the money. My son followed her overheard me complaining said littered with people lying about.
Some need gas money around the corner and watched I must not be from Galveston. I Don’t you think visitors to
to get back to Houston. Didn’t her hand the money to her would like to tell him that I do live Galveston go back home and
they realize before they came “mom” and she added the bill here; I just refuse to accept that tell not only the good things
that they would also have to to a 4” thick roll of money held this is the way it has to be!!! about Galveston, but about this
drive back to Houston and together by a rubber band. One business owner that also?
bring enough for gas? I know they scammed more does try to keep panhandlers I have always thought
Yes, go back to Houston that day than I earned. off his property said it best. “I the Salvation Army should be
and take a couple more with No pride. No job. And didn’t invest $1,000,000 in my moved elsewhere along with
you. Friends of mine have plenty of time to try to relieve you business just so these beggars any place that feeds them. At the
told me they would offer them of your money! One homeless can make $10.00 and run my very least, get it off Broadway
a dollar and be asked, “How man decided to make his bed in customers off in the process.” and away from the Strand area
about five?” the beautiful, lighted landscape where we could have a chance
Some won’t take you at of a drug store on 25th and Complain to the businesses to make downtown Galveston
your word that you will not give Broadway. I would like to see you choose to do business with what it could and should be.
them money. “Ma’am. Ma’am, what would happen if you or I and choose not to do business One last thing – any
but ma’am!” No, you don’t decided to make that our spot with them if you continue having towns that bring their homeless
understand, no money from me for the night. trouble. to Galveston should be fined
to you. I have complained to Broadway Boulevard and made to take theirs back
Some freak out and follow this store several times about is usually the first street that and twice as many as they try
you to your car when they this and the many beggars people drive down when they to dump on us…
are told no. Knocking on your that approach you going in and visit Galveston. It is steadily Just say no…Hell no!

Galveston Wizard,

If you need art filler, here’s a Cinco


de Mayo photo for you.

-Marc Phillips Are you watching Galveston Grow?


30 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: G
G Galveston
l Wizardd

Amazing Story
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was walking
Mbembe was on holiday through the Chicago Zoo
in Kenya after graduating with his teenaged son.
from University. As they approached
On a hike through the elephant enclosure,
the bush, he came one of the creatures
across a young bull turned and walked over
elephant standing with to near where Mbembe
one leg raised in the air. and his son Tapu were
The elephant seemed standing.
distressed, so Mbembe The large bull
approached it very elephant stared at
carefully. Mbembe, lifted its front
He got down on foot off the ground, then
one knee, inspected the put it down. The elephant
elephant¹s foot, and did that several times
Still don’t think you have the money to advertise with us? Think again! Show
found a large piece of then trumpeted loudly, just how resourceful you are by selling some of your stuff you never use! The
wood deeply embedded all the while staring at Galveston County Daily News Classifieds can turn your clutter into cash-mon-
ey! 1 Item free sounds good to us! Other people then can shop like new items
in it. As carefully and the man. and “TA-dah!” you’ve created more Advertising money! (Which will help you
as gently as he could, Remembering the make even MORE money!)All right, you can spend the money on other stuff
too...we guess. (Tell them the Galveston Wizard Guided you there!)
Mbembe worked the encounter in 1986,
wood out with his hunting Mbembe couldn’t help
an
knife, after which the
elephant gingerly put
down its foot.
wondering if this was
the same elephant.
Mbembe summoned
odds d
The elephant turned up his courage, climbed
to face the man, and with over the railing and ends.
a rather curious look on made his way into the
its face, stared at him for enclosure. He walked
several tense moments. right up to the elephant
Mbembe stood frozen, and stared back in
thinking of nothing else wonder.
but being trampled. The elephant
Eventually the trumpeted again,
elephant trumpeted wrapped its trunk around
loudly, turned, and one of Mbembe’s legs
walked away. Mbembe and slammed him against you
never forgot that the railing, killing him got
some-
elephant or the events of instantly. thin’
that day. Probably wasn’t the for
Twenty years later, same elephant. us to
share?
www.galvestonwizard.com Start Rocking and Keep Rolling 31
Captain Chinbeard’s
Etiquette Advice Column
Dear Captain Chinbeard,
I know how good you are
as much as you arr. Would
YE be offended if a fine lass
be an interestin’ fellow, even if
ye ain’t. I see all sorts of men
Need
with the ladies. Why, just last
weekend, I saw you at The
Spot surrounded by beautiful
went up to ye an’ grabbed
your sandy bottom? Har har,
I think not. So ye should feel
doin’ this at the bar, and more
often than not, it works. Good
luck to ye, and remember:
advice?
women. But charming, well- free to do the same to show There are plenty of things out
mannered gentlemen such as your interest. Contrary to what there scarier than a lady.
yourself are bound to get all everyone is sayin’ these days, GOOD!
the action you please. How they’ll be flattered and excited May ye plunder bountiful booty,
can an average Joe like me by it. Unless you’re ugly. If ye Captain Chinbeard.
get a date once in awhile? be needin’ a trip to the dry-
-A. Joe dock for cosmetic upgrades, I be full of it!
ye need to be...more...indi-
rect. Find one ye like, and
Want more
Email me:
Ahoy thar Joe! Talkin’ with talk about the boring stuff that
the wenches be much eas- they’re always luffin’ their jibs Chinbeard? chinbeard@
ier ‘n many a fellow think. about. I happen to be incred- We too need
Firstly, ye need to remember ibly handsome an’ charmin’, “ad”vice. We need gmail.com
that wenches are folk like us. so I’ve never had to do this. your support!
Tharr thinkin’ about makin’ I suppose ye could talk about
the beast with two backs just clothes or flowers. Pretend to

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32 Start Rocking and Keep Rolling G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard