Geotechnical Jokes

The question is True or False?

Degree of saturation is the percentage of saturated samples obtained from the field. Active earth pressure occurs in active soils and passive earth pressure occurs in passive soils. Overconsolidation ratio (or OCR) is the fraction of samples that are excessively consolidated in the lab. The unconsolidated type triaxial tests, also known as the UU type, are performed on samples that are not preconsolidated in the field. Consolidation means solidifying together; it refers to the liquid phase turning solid and melding with the original solids in the soil. The concept should not be confused by a term defined in geology, which means soils turning into rocks (scary, isn't it?). Examples of active soils are San Fransisco Bay Mud and Boston Blue Clay, especially when active ingredients, such as sands and gravels, are added. Void Ratio is the remaining fraction of void samples left at a construction site in case a contract is declared void; it should be expressed as a fraction, not as a percentage. A factor of safety on shear strength should be applied in any situation when there is reasonable doubt that they don't know how to measure the shear strength in the lab. Consolidated type triaxial tests, like CU and CD, are done on samples that are not preconsolidated already. We say Trial failure surfaces when a court rules against a geotechnical engineer and this becomes obvious to everyone. Unconfined compression test is preferred by those who enjoy freedom so much that they despise confining anything. Correction factors should be applied on every single term of the bearing capacity equation because the theory is all wrong. An analytically oriented geotechnical engineer is one who has an analytical mind but doesn't have the courage to touch a soil sample---the fact is he/she couldn't get permission from his/her mother to play with dirt). An experimentally oriented geotechnical engineer is one that is still at an experimental stage---the fact is he did get permission from his mother, and he was able to figure out how to make a living playing with dirt! Specific Gravity refers to the gravity of the situation when soil properties are not specific enough. Two parties agreeing on how to solve their dispute out of court is called the settlement. Shrinkage Limit is to what extent one can lose weight. Geotechnical engineers are like wine; they get better with time.