How the Second World War was Averted & Other Short Stories!!

Author: Destination Infinity Please note: *** This is a Teaser/Preview of the actual book, which is expected to carry 15 humorous short-stories. This TEASER contains the FIRST story in FULL ***

With this book I am introducing the SUPER-HERO - 'DI'.

H.G.Wells may have published 'The Time Machine' in 1895, but the first working model of the Time Machine was realized only in 2014. It was the result of a secret project coordinated by UN, and involved scientists from many countries. There was a limitation to the first version - the Time Machine could time-transport only one person (to-and-fro), and would work only once. The members of UN debated on what historical event they would like to avert using the Time Machine. They decided to stop the second world war, before it even started. This war had claimed over 75 million lives, and hence was one of the darkest chapter of human history. But the question of how they were going to do it and who could be entrusted to accomplish such a vital task, was yet to be decided. Who could be The One? The One. ***** DI, the Indian spy in Hawaii, was roaming around the beaches when he got that all important message from an unknown number. It only said, 'This is an encrypted message. You are required to report at the UN headquarters immediately'. He reached UN headquarters after a week - It was the holiday season and the plane tickets were difficult to get! Once he reached, he was informed about the Time Machine project and the allimportant mission. He was entrusted with the job travelling to 1939 to avert the second world war, just before it started. He was going to be The One. After he was briefed about the mission, DI had only one question 'Why me?' The authorities replied (rather sternly), 'You are the only spy in the world who is practically jobless. Since the time you were sent to Hawaii, you have been on a vacation almost every single day. The Indian Government has been identified your travel bills to be the largest contributing factor for the (recent) decline in their GDP. Besides, all other spies and diplomats around the world are busy. Hence, due to the unavailability of anyone else, and to avoid the huge losses suffered by the Indian Govt., you were selected for this mission. After listening to such a clear, frank & convincing explanation, there was nothing left to argue. DI asked, 'Will I be able to come back to the present time?' To which, the UN authorities coolly replied, 'We don't know. We haven't tested the Time Machine, yet. We are not even sure if you'll reach the intended time-period in the first place.' 'What if I don't come back?'

'Well, at least one country will be happy.' There was no use of talking to these people any more. DI had made up his mind he will do it. After all, he was the professional selected for this all important job. He was The One. DI thought they would take him to NASA and there would be an internationally televised launching ceremony. But to his disappointment, and due to the secret nature of the project, he was taken to the next room, and was asked to sit in the Time Machine (which resembled a revolving chair). The moment he sat down, it revolved thrice and before he could blink, he was transported to some strange looking place in Germany. ***** Nazi headquarters. 1939. Hitler was discussing his strategy to attack Poland (which made England and France declare war on Germany, and effectively started the second world war) with his generals, when DI stormed into the room. On seeing him, Hitler asked, 'Das bas bus?' DI replied, 'Sorry Mr. Hitler. I don't know German.' Hitler started talking in English, 'Who are you?' Such things routinely happen in books and movies. DI said, 'I am a person from the future. I have been sent here by the United Nations to stop the second world war. Here is our 10,000 page report on the damages caused by the war you are about to start. Stop the war - now' Hitler received the UN report, glanced through it for a few seconds and called Goebbels, the Reich Minister of Propaganda. In a casual tone, Hitler said, 'Burn this document along with the other books that we have confiscated.' DI's eyes widened. His gritted his teeth and tightened his fingers. How could anyone treat him so lightly? This was an insult to all the future-kind. Besides, how could anyone insult The One? But this was 1939 and he was standing before Hitler in the Nazi headquarters. He was meeting the lion in its den. That realization quickly brought him back to his senses. DI knew he had to find a way to crack, confuse or intimidate the man standing in front of him. Unperturbed, he thundered - 'Hey, Hitler. By burning the document, you can insult me. But, what are you going to do about the fact that you are going to lose the war?' Hitler was silent (for a moment) and turned to face DI. DI had a smile on his face he now had the attention of the man. DI said, 'I know the major blunders you are about to make during the course of the war. Imagine how useful this information might be to you.' That was an enticing proposal. Or at least DI thought so. Hitler asked, 'How do we believe that you are from the future?' DI did not anticipate this question. He said, 'I know about the war you are about to start in Poland. Isn't that sufficient?' 'Even the man selling newspapers in the street knows that I am going to start a war in Poland. How does that prove anything?', Hitler asked. DI quickly considered other options, 'Well, you can look at the date on the UN document'.

Hitler said, 'Anyone can print a document with any date - It just takes a few hours.' DI was speechless. In the next couple of seconds, Hitler decided that DI was a secret British spy and ordered Himmler, the SS Chief, to arrest him. DI regained his composure and gallantly addressed all the generals in the room 'This war, which he is going to start, will result in 75 million causalities. Most of you are going to die. The entire world is going to gang-up against the axis-powers. Germany will be divided into two and it will take decades to recover from all the economic and manpower losses. You need to choose between peace and happiness; or war and sorrow. This is your chance to save the world. Which side are you in, the good side or the bad side? DI's side or Hitler's side? Choose now.' DI knew that such a riveting speech would shake up everyone in the room and instigate them to revolt against Hitler. But people were staring blankly at DI. As an after-thought, DI added, 'Everyone here knows English?' Not in a mood to take any more nonsense, Hitler approached DI. In a slow and composed voice, he said, 'Actually, I wanted to imprison you in the Berlin prison. But now I have decided to put you in the Auschwitz concentration camp'. He turned towards Himmler and ordered - 'Take care of him' Before Himmler could 'take care' of DI, DI ran out of the room to save his life. Remembering where he left the Time Machine chair, he quickly went there and sat on it. But this time, the chair did not revolve there was some technical snag. DI had no clue what to do. With a brave, mindless and uncaring attitude, he pulled out his cell phone from his trouser pocket and started playing Angry Birds. After finishing the meeting with the generals, Hitler came out the room. While passing, he noticed DI sitting on a strange chair, operating some strange device. Curious, he moved behind DI to observe what he was doing. After a few seconds DI casually looked back to find Hitler. Out of fear, DI immediately stood up from the chair and tried to run, but Hitler blocked him. Hitler asked, 'What is that device you have in your hands?' DI replied, 'It's a cell phone. I was playing a game that is stored in it.' Hitler said, 'It seems interesting. Can you teach me how to play?' DI, always helpful, didn't refuse. Hitler sat down on the chair while DI taught him how to play Angry Birds. Hitler liked the game and kept progressing from one level to another. Suddenly, the Time Machine chair started revolving and since Hitler was sitting on it, he was time-transported to the present. Authorities in UN were spell-bound to see Hitler returning with the Time Machine, instead of DI! In this way, by the clever usage of the Time Machine, and his cell phone, DI averted the second world war. Mission Accomplished :)

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With Love, Rajesh K/Destination Infinity www.destinationinfinity.org