Using Music in DC4K

Are you one of those people who thinks you cannot sing? Dont worry, the music in DC4K is not about singing but about bringing Gods love to hurting children. This article explains the reason and rationale behind the music
by Linda Ranson Jacobs y now many of you have you have heard all the songs included in the DC4K kit. Some of you have asked why we included music in the kit. Some of you have written that you are not musically inclined, so you dont feel comfortable using the CDs. Maybe some explanation about the role music can play will help everyone to understand why music was included and will be encouraging to those of you who hesitate to play the CDs.

Music in itself is a universal language that children everywhere can understand. Some children will be more musically inclined than others. By instinct most mothers will hum or sing softly to their newborn infant. They learn quickly that one way to calm an upset infant is to sing or hum softly. As children become preschool age, parents and teachers will use songs to teach concepts such as how to tie shoes, count, learn the alphabet and use manners to say please and thank you. In elementary school, wise educators have used music to help children learn everything from their multiplication tables to memorizing the capital of every state in the America. And of course we all know that teens use music as a means of rebellion from their parents and from all established societies, and as a way to express themselves and unite with each other.

If you think about it, music is everywhere. It is used in the advertising industry to market and sell things. It is used in the religious realm to speak to hearts. Melodies are sung to bring souls to the Lord. Music plays a role in weddings and funerals. Music is used as a fill-in while you wait on the phone, in the doctors, dentists and other offices. It is used in the film industry as background noise and to evoke certain emotions or to prepare us for a coming dramatic moment. (Listen to the ending of all the Stories from the Bible dramas and you will hear the same chord resolution each time. We use it to bring a feeling of familiarity and resolution as well as closure to the Bible story.) How Music Affects People Research in studying the brain and how music affects the brain is showing some interesting data. We now have reason to believe that harmonies have the capacity to actually rewire the brain, creating connections between different regions in the brain. Some research shows that listening to music can boost memory, attention and learning. Music can lower stress, and it can activate both sides of the brain. Music can have a positive impact on a persons mood, and it can actually alleviate depression in some people. Just think about the hours teens listen to music. And what about the

money they spend on music or the time used to illegally download music from the Internet? For years I have experimented using music with different ages of children and for different reasons. My research and experimentation are by no means scientific, nor are my conclusions proven theories; it is simply my experience. I believe music can soothe children wrestling with the divorce of their parents. I have observed diagnosed-behavior-disorder children begin to focus by playing certain types of music. By using music with these children, I think we can pump information into their brains and their hearts that they normally wouldnt hear. The children can then turn this around, and at some point in time, it will come back out of their mouths. Let me give you an example. Several years ago I had a 6-year-old child in our private kindergarten. This child was out of control. His mom had chosen drugs over him. When he wasnt living in homeless shelters with his mother, he lived with his not-too-talkative dad and his dads live-in girlfriend of the month. This child was aggressive in a quiet, mean way. At times he refused to participate in the group activity. Every day without fail, the teacher had a ritual of opening her class with the flag salute, singing My Country Tis of Thee as a group, and then the children would give their prayer requests. The group prayed together and then sang the song, Father I Adore You. This child would not sing the song Father I Adore You. We didnt force the issue because we certainly could understand how this child might not adore any type of parent image. I think it seemed to him that all the important adults in his life continually disappointed him. The teacher and I talked about it, and even though we understood where the child was coming from, we still encouraged him to join the group each morning. Nothing was ever said to him about singing or not singing this song. One morning he got to class late. The other kids were already outside for recess time. This child came in the room, walked over to the activity table, took out his folder and began working on

his papers for the day. Since I could see him through my office door, I said nothing to him but just watched. As he stood there working he began singing in a very soft and sweet little boy voice the following: hmm-mm (humming) Fa - ther I adore you. Quiet for several seconds and then, hmm-mm Lay my life be fore you. How I lo ve you. How I lo ve you. How I love you and then more humming. He continued to sing this song over and over. I stood there with tears in my eyes. I kept thinking about how this song was coming from his heart. We could have forced the issue of him singing, but then I dont believe he would have ever sung from his heart. This child knew that Father God loved him. He felt it, and he sang it. Think about the child in your group who is feeling alone and isolated. He or she is in the middle of the week and feeling down when all of a sudden the words, Nothing, nothing, nothing Nothing will ever be able to separate us, my God from me come to mind. Can you see how helpful this can be? Sharing Gods Word Through Music If you do nothing more than play the suggested songs as background music, you will be exposing the children in your group to Gods Word. You will be allowing them to hear about other children experiencing the divorce of their parents. You will be telling these children they are not alone and that other children are experiencing anger, sadness and loneliness. Think how much more you can impact these kids lives if you actively use the music included in your kit. Children under stress and experiencing the divorce of their parents many times cannot memorize. We could force them to memorize scripture passages, and while they might be able to perform for the moment, the scriptures would quickly be forgotten. But when they sing the songs, they are memorizing scriptures without realizing it. The words are being lodged in their brains to be there forever. Someday when they

are at a trying time in their life, these songs will come back into the forefront of their minds. Did you know that Alzheimers patients who can no longer communicate with loved ones will still sing the words to the hymns they learned as a small child? They cant remember other things or communicate, but they can sing the correct tune with the right words even when no one else is singing and only the music is played. Music is powerful! Be Creative with Music! Use the music in the DC4K kit. Get creative and explore other ways this music can impact your group. The first lesson uses the song You Are My Hiding Place in a fun and creative way by pairing children to sit cross-legged on the floor with one partner in front and the other partner behind. Since this song is sung to the tune of Row, Row Your Boat, you can use this to rock back and forth like you are in a boat while singing the words, Lord, Lord, Lord you are my hiding place today from every, every, every storm of life, I pray. This can even be an activity for children to use after the session as you wait for parents. Invite the parents to join in also. Continue to repeat this activity after class for several weeks. I am hearing from several groups that make sure they end each session with United in Love. This song is bringing unity to their group and sending the children off to face the next week knowing they belong and are loved by their DC4K leaders. By using music, you may very well be hooking up and creating neural activity between emotions and memory pathways in the brain. You may be creating flash-dance brain circuits that create positive feelings and a sense of the I can do it attitude. You will be changing lives and having fun while you are at it. One other note (get it? note as in musical note?), encourage parents to purchase the CDs for their children. Or find people in your church to donate CDs to the children in your group. Imagine every child receiving a CD package

when they graduate from DC4K. What a blessing. Regarding those of you asking about my musical knowledge? Yes, I do have a degree in music. Go figure!

MMV by the author and/or Church Initiative. All rights reserved. Reproducible only when used with a Church Initiative ministry program. Linda Ranson Jacobs is the DC4K creator and developer. For more information, email info@dc4k.org. To discover more about DivorceCare for Kids or to find a DC4K group near you, go to www.dc4k.org.