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 Mission statement: Women’s Magazine is devoted to inspiring, entertaining and informing the
women of Boulder and Broomfield counties. We connect women across all spectrums in our
communities by sharing their stories and supporting their endeavors. And we do so with an eye
toward enjoyment, encouragement and simple solutions for busy lives.

COVER STORY

Women’s Magazine
28
advisory group Renewal. One
Francie Anhut,
Impact on Education Boulder woman
Janet Beardsley, proves it’s never
YWCA of Boulder
County too late for a
Jan Berg, new life.
Boulder Chamber of
Commerce
Heather Drake,
FlatIron Crossing Mall
Ilene Dubey,
Dubey Marketing From the cover
Benita A. Duran, 046 An inspiration column about deep cleaning, internally.
community leader
Jennifer Kerr,
027 Tantric tips on sprucing up your love life.
Broomfield Chamber 018 Five simple steps to spring “clear” your clutter away.
of Commerce
045 Cleaning up your soap, eco-diva style.
Beth Krodel,
Insight Designs
Christine Labozan, Also on renewal and spring cleaning
Superior Chamber
Board of Directors 020 Show and tell: Local women gather to share their life transformations.
Margaret Miner, 033 Plucking out ugly, useless relationships all the way to the roots.
Rags Consignments
and ten20 Spa
Dana Culberson,
JJWells and Besos
Libby Niemi,
Prairie Mountain
Publishing
Featured columnists for April
Donna Phelper,
Timberline Furniture Contact us

Alice Swanson, Aimee Heckel, editor

Learn to Earn aimee@womensmag.com, 303-473-1359

Rachael Shayne, Erika Stutzman, managing editor

stylist erika@womensmag.com, 303-473-1354

Ann Cooper and Thais Hafer, advertising

Andie Mary Casey Jennie Colleen thais@womensmag.com, 303-473-1250
Associates,
Bernard, II writes Dorris writes Conant
Metro Brokers Story ideas
Women’s about safety a monthly reflects on
Magazine’s and self- friendship losing a speakup@womensmag.com
fitness expert, defense. column in loved one. Jill Stravolemos, Events and
shares a This month the form of Page 46 marketing jill@womensmag.com
secret that she tackles letters to
your taste the topic women who Distribution and circulation
buds — and of stalkers. have shaped Zoanne Kabriel, 303-473-1530
triceps — will Page 22 her life. This Photography
both love. month, she Jonathan Castner,
Page 16 thanks the info@jonathancastner.com
gals who
kept her Stylist
laughing. Angel Garcia, pinuppretty@yahoo.com
Page 25

4 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

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womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 5

 S
pring is such a perfect time of renewal and
rejuvenation; what better time to shuffle off the
coils of winter and old habits and start something
fresh and new.
This is the time of year we see so many cycling neophytes
out on the roads. They’re more puffy in shape and shaky in
style than their lean-mean Spandex-clad counterparts. Truly,
by summer’s end there are fewer of the newbies and only the
seasoned bikers remain — and as we head into fall, there is no
more vocal complaining by the sporty locals about new cyclists.
Me: I like seeing the cyclists, and the more obvious the
newcomers the better. They inspire a hope and cheerfulness
within me that there are always people ready to take a risk, to
Photo by Jonathan Castner

start something new, to have a new beginning.

The Mayo Clinic sent out a special report in February saying
that it’s never too late to gain the benefits of exercise. It’s never
too late. Maybe that’s one reason why the sight of a brand-new
50-something cyclist cheers me so. Maybe that’s why — for the
first time in my life, now in my mid-30s and after two children
— I’ve taken up running.

I
It’s natural, isn’t it? My father took up skiing after age 40; my
can’t decide whether it is scary or completely
mother started to golf after retirement. It’s spring — time to
amazing how bodies heal.
head outside and have some fun.
One day, there is a literal hole through my
And it’s never too late.
stomach from a surgery. I understand, in theory (and only in
theory), that I will be able to dance again some day, but right
now the task of merely sitting up by myself sounds hilarious.
— Erika Stutzman
I look, but I cannot see what is going on beneath the surface. erika@womensmag.com
So I slowly return to normal life, while keeping the injury in
the back of my mind. Until one day, I am wearing stilettos again
and I realize my hole has fused shut. Only a small reminder
lingers on the surface of my skin.
I did nothing to make this happen — except allow my body
to do what it was made to do.
I think our internal “holes” work the same way. They
naturally heal, if we allow them to (the crux!), whether or not
we understand how (the second crux!). They also leave scars
that change us forever.
And thank God. Reinvention is exciting. And it is never too
late, as our cover story shows (page 28).
As you watch nature renew itself this spring, take some
advice from our inspiration columnist (page 46) or our favorite
intuitive guide (page 31), and renew yourself. Whether or not
it feels scary or completely amazing, allow yourself to do what
Photo by Jonathan Castner

you are made to do.

And then, when you’re ready, dance. Dance for newness.
Dance for the spring.

— Aimee Heckel
aimee@womensmag.com

6 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

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womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 7


Last month, we asked
you what was the worst
job you’ve ever had.
Here are your responses.
“The summer I was 19, I
lived at the beach and was an
amusement park ride operator.
I moved to the beach so I could
spend my summer laying out
and partying, but instead I
spent eight to 10 hours a day
loading other peoples’ toddlers
on the little cars that drive in
a circle in the baking sun for
minimum wage. One day a kid
peed on my ride and I didn’t
clean it up because they didn’t
pay me nearly enough for that.”
— Amy Prosseda, 35, Denver
“Working in a casino was
horrible. People gamble away
so much of their money they
get a ‘comp’ for a free meal,
but they would never tip. You
risk your life driving up and
down the mountain, three-hour
round trip a day, for squat!”
— Vickie Cominiello, 44,
Arvada
“I worked as a landscape
laborer one summer in
California. Overall, it was a
great experience since I was
going to school for landscape
design. However, the first day
was over 100 degrees and we
were cutting down very thick
bushes and filled four large
dumpsters.”
— Wendy Wilson, 55,
Broomfield
“Two summers ago I worked
at a restaurant, which turned
out to be the worst experience
ever. One thing that frustrated
me the most was how often
the management degraded
their staff. All the servers were
required to wear headsets to
help out with teamwork but
8 April 14, 2009
it turned out as usage for the
management to yell at their
staff. Instead of pulling a
person aside, they would call
them out over the headsets
and embarrass that person in
front of everyone. Then on top
of that, you busted your butt
for pretty much charity work
if you didn’t have seniority. No
fun at all!”
— Nicole Goolsby, 25,
Westminster
“When I was 21, I moved to
an island resort and went to
work for a large hotel chain.
That summer they made a
decision to change the uniform
from shorts and a polo to
swimsuits and a sarong, only
for the girls. The guys kept the
same uniform. When I made
a comment of it being unfair, I
was called into the office of the
GM of the hotel and was given
the option of either quitting or
given a job in the pizza kitchen
of the hotel, a demotion of
sorts. I was a 21-year-old being
bullied by a 50-year-old man.
As a whole, I’ve never seen
employees treated so horribly,
before or since. They bused
in a majority of the employees
from poor rural areas in school
buses, where once on the
hotel grounds had to use a
door unseen by any guests.
Employees were not allowed
to associate/speak to the
guests unless it pertained to
their job. A horrible, humbling
experience.”
— Michelle Foley, 32,
Lafayette
Next month: What
journey have you taken that
changed your perspective
or changed your life?
Share your responses with
speakup@womensmag.
com.
— Compiled by Jessica Warnock
Women’s Magazine.
LETTERS TO
THE EDITOR
The cancer life
I thoroughly enjoy every
issue of Women’s Magazine,
and feel it has taken off
to a whole new level of
greatness. ... I am still
battling late-stage ovarian
cancer (see cover story,
“How cancer was a blessing
in disguise,” November
2008), have started a new
chemo, am running my
business and am constantly
dealing with the ups and
downs of my illness.
I wanted to tell you that
Ellen Kampinski, who is the
senior editor of Glamour
Magazine, contacted me at
the salon because she had
read my story online that
Paula Pant wrote. Ellen went
to my Carepage blog and
after reading a few of my
updates, asked me if I would
be interested in talking to
Erin Zammett Ruddy, one
of their writers, about my
story being featured in her
monthly Life With Cancer
blog for Glamour Magazine.
My fiancé, Luke, and
I went to NYC about two
weeks ago, met Ellen for
coffee at the Glamour
Magazine offices, and even
had an in-depth tour of the
Glamour headquarters. It
was pretty amazing.
One last thing: I want
to deeply thank you for all
you have done for me. ...
The article not only spread
awareness about ovarian
cancer, but it also allowed
for me to demonstrate a
cancer diagnosis is not a
death sentence.
I have to be honest and
say I think one of the main
reasons I have outlived my
prognosis is how I have
lived my life with “cancer on
the back burner.” I continue
to work, travel and maintain
close friendships with those
I have inspired among
weekly chemo infusions,
endless doctor appointments
and what I like to refer to as
“cancer life.”
— Deandra Trevino,
of Boulder
Check out her Twists of
Fate submission on page 47.
Choosing hope over fear
We are living in a media-
infused culture surrounded
by uncertainty, inundated
with messages telling us of
a doomed economy. Am I in
denial if I don’t want to hear
the crunch of my hopeful
future? Am I in denial if I
turn off the radio or TV
to tune out the media’s
grand reports of the “Great
Depression” resurgence? I
am hungry for the solutions.
How can I be a part of the
solutions?
The best solution is to
choose hope over fear. I
opened my business as a
true calling to help people
who value their lives, their
schedules, their families and
their homes. I provide great
design to stir the soul. If I
believed that I built my life
or my business on a false
premise or an uncertain
foundation, I would want
the business to crumble, if
only to show me the truth
of myself. On the contrary,
I trust that my interior
design/eco-remodeling
serves my community and
people who cherish their
homes, their families and
their earth.
We deserve to live in
spaces that reflect the
deeper parts of our true
selves. If we see clutter,
dirt, piles of clothes,
broken appliances, dingy
cabinets, we may feel
inner uncertainty or
unworthiness. Interior
design is about love. Love of
one’s self, one’s family, one’s
soul, one’s earth.
Choose hope over fear.
And if fear shows up, choose
hope over fear, again.
— Jodi Feinhor-Dennis, of
Boulder
Invironments, owner and
interior designer
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 Photo by Paul Aiken
Google, Google, how does
your garden grow? Niemi

Check out www. your home. This company hiring a professional

womensmag.com for blogs,
photo galleries and links to
all of our stories online. Plus:
This month, see a behind-
the-scenes video of our
fashion shoot!
Be our Myspace friend: www.
myspace.com/womensmag.
eHow.com
This is a great resource
for video tutorials that
show you exactly how to
plant tulips (for example).
Measurements for depth of
the bulbs and how far apart
is helpful, but actually seeing
will consult with you to
determine which plants will
work for your space -- and
even come in once a week to
water your leased plants!
Sketchup.google.com
Google offers something
landscaping team. The site
offers basic courses, and
you can browse images
for ideas. Once you know
your direction, the site
leads you to find affordable
landscape designers and
contractors. There are some

L
a video of it was essential called SketchUp, which fees associated with the site,
ast spring, I for my tulip success. Video: allows you to use tools like but if you’re serious about
decided to try www.ehow.com/video_5049_ a professional landscape getting your hands dirty and
to garden for the plant-tulips.html. YouTube architect -- for free. You educating yourself, this may
first time ever. I could cook, has similar videos and can download and watch be the perfect start.
and I even joined a “knitting tutorials. tutorials to quickly become
club,” so how hard could it be the designer you’ve always — By Libby Niemi
to grow some plants? Earthandskygardens.com wanted to be. Note: There is Niemi is an online
I wanted to plant tulip bulbs If you want to give up on a little learning curve, but it’s products specialist for Prairie
in front of the house. I took trying to garden, inside or worth it. Mountain Publishing. If you
measurements and headed out, consider a plant “leasing need help with your online
to the gardening store. It program.” This may be Myidealgarden.com marketing or if you have a
wasn’t until I got there that best for a corporate setting, This is a happy medium question, email her at libby@
I realized: I didn’t have the but could also work for between going solo and womensmag.com.
foggiest idea how to leap
into the world of gardening.
Sunlight? Northern
exposure? (Not the TV
show.) Nutrition-rich soil?
So I, being a true Internet
geek, turned to my computer
to help sort it out. Here’s
what I found:

Landscaping.about.com
Here you can find plethora
of “eCourses,” videos and
articles, all related to your
outdoor space. From planting
for your fall foliage to seaside-
scapes, this a great place to
start and research all of your
questions, such as which
plants are poisonous to dogs
and cats. You can even sign
up for a free landscaping
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10 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

WOMEN ACTING UP

Boulder scientist inducted most important women

in history.
into National Women’s Hall “It’s hard to imagine
I’m in there too now so
of Fame I keep thinking they

Photo courtesy of Carlye Calvin

mean some other Susan

W
hen Susan Solomon received her Ph.D. in Solomon,” she says.
chemistry at the University of California “It’s a thrill from top to
at Berkeley in 1981, there was no “go- bottom.”
ing green” trend. In 1981, there was no “An Inconvenient In 2000, Solomon won
Truth.” In 1981, climate change and global warming weren’t the National Medal of
hot election topics. Science, the nation’s
Since 1981, in all of the years of her astonishing career, highest honor awarded
Susan Solomon has helped to change that. to a scientist. In 2008,
Susan Solomon
Susan Solomon is an internationally recognized scientist she was awarded the
in the field of atmospheric science and considered one Great Medal of the
of the most important voices in the debate about climate Academy of Sciences of France. She has also had a glacier
change. She works as a senior scientist at the National Oce- named after her for her work in Antarctica where she led an
anic and Atmospheric Administration in Boulder. She was expedition that proved chlorofluorocarbons were causing
also a co-chair of the United Nations’ Intergovernmental the ozone “hole” that opened there.
Panel on Climate Change. This group released the famous “Science is the greatest thing in the world, with the power
2007 report that began to help people understand the reality to move mountains through facts,” Solomon says. “It’s
of global warming. The panel shared the Nobel Peace Prize mostly hard work, and it’s all worth it.”
with Al Gore in 2007.
Now Solomon is receiving another great honor. She is one The 2009 National Women’s Hall of Fame inductees will
of 10 inductees to the 2009 National Women’s Hall of Fame. be celebrated in Seneca Falls, N.Y., on Oct. 10 and 11. For a
Christine Moulton, the hall’s executive director, describes complete list inductees visit www.greatwomen.org.
the group of women as “a reflection of the very best of
America.” This hall has honored some of the greatest and — By Jessica Warnock

BOLDFACED

Cheers to these local women who are leaving their marks:

Margaret (Peggy)
LeMone, a senior scientist
at the National Center for
Atmospheric Research, has
been named president-elect
of the American Meteoro-
logical Society.
LeMone, an observational
meteorologist who stud-
ies the behavior of large,
organized storm systems,
has had a lifelong interest
in public education and pro-
moting diversity in the atmo-
spheric sciences. LeMone
will become president of the
AMS next January.
Five scientists at the
National Center for At-
mospheric Research and
University Corporation for
Atmospheric Research have
been recognized for excel-
lence in their field by being
named American Meteo-
rological Society Fellows.
They include: Clara Deser,
Rita Roberts and Wendy
Schreiber-Abshire.
Army 1st Lt. Laura G.
Strecker, of Longmont,
returned from deployment
in Mosul, Iraq, after provid-
ing medical care to service-
members in Multi National
Division-North for the past
15 months.
During that time, soldiers
from the 86th Combat Sup-
port Hospital treated almost
3,000 patients and evacuated
nearly 300 of them to a high-
er level of care. They also
managed an inpatient care
workload that numbered
more than 750, including
patients from all branches of
the armed forces, Depart-
ment of Defense and Army
civilians, American and for-
eign contractors, local civil-
ians, Iraqi Army and police
and security internees.
Strecker is a registered
staff nurse with three years
of military service.
The Leslie Weidner
Award for Caregiving Excel-
lence 2009 was presented by
Homewatch CareGivers of
Boulder County to Carolyn
Lunn in a ceremony at the
company’s Boulder office,
recognizing her compassion
and dedication to her clients
and the senior community
since 1998.
Visit www.mytowncolorado.
com to submit your
community news.

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 11

STANDING FIRM
How to hold yourself together
while the economy cracks
“H
starter.
ow are
you?”
was
once a casual conversation
Now we lean in, make
eye contact, and ask “How
are you?” to invite a deeper
discussion about work,
mortgages, investment
accounts and emotional
well-being.
When the economy
cracked, it sent us tumbling.
As a result, there’s a new
openness and solidarity, as
together we learn how to
roll with it.
While some feel wary and
stuck wondering if we’ve hit
bottom, others are gaining a
calm power by stepping into
pragmatic choices. These
women are eating out less,
canceling housekeeping
services, shopping only
for what they need, and
trading services. Many have
initiated the “What Exactly
Is Our Situation” talk with
their partners. These
conversations are hard,
but when conducted with
respect and common goals,
couples find relief by facing
the unknown. They also
enjoy greater connection
and are energized by a
common plan.
Professionally, we’re
drawing on creativity and
hard work to stabilize the
ground under our feet.
Kate LaCroix, founder
of Boulder-based Dish
Publicity, created
“dishwire,” which bridges
the gap between her clients’
slimming publicity budgets
12 April 14, 2009
Kate LaCroix, founder of Dish Publicity
and the media’s staff
cutbacks.
Kathy Klatman, of
Gunbarrel, mapped out
the steps needed to meet
the big-picture goals of
Resonant Communications,
her search engine
marketing consultancy. This
level of detail helps Kathy
Women’s Magazine.
“commit the time required
to get where I want to be,”
she says.
Corporate women
are relying on their
resourcefulness as well
— expanding internal and
external networks, working
with coaches, keeping
current with industry
trends, and taking on
challenges that will help
them grow. For Boulder
product manager Julia
Bright, making “a good
impression and achieving
measurable results” is a top
priority.
To sustain such high
levels of engagement, we
must take care of ourselves.
It’s more important than
ever to exercise, get enough
sleep, eat well and recharge
with alone time. When
cutting back, find ways to
make decisions that don’t
excise the things you love.
For example, girls’ night out
could become a book-club
evening, scrapbooking party
or potluck dinner. Other
women consciously limit
exposure to news programs
that stir their anxiety. Jennie
Arbogash, of the Boulder
Community Foundation,
highlights the importance of
spending time with friends
and family “as a means of
Photo by Jonathan Castner
perspective, laughter and
support.”
Stress may be high, but
so is resilience, connection
and innovation.
As LaCroix put it, the way
ahead lies in “staying on the
side of the solution rather
than hanging out in the
potential problem.”
— By Cindy Moret
O’Keeffe
O’Keeffe, the founder
of Insight Edge LLC, is
a Boulder-based coach,
facilitator and writer.
Contact her at cindy@
whatsyouredge.com.
womensmag.com
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Patience is a virtue, one local
By Christine Kortals After school, she began studying German

“P
atience” — a name, a life, on her own to gain acceptance into the Goethe
a vocation — and also a Institute in Munich. But there, Schuetrumpf’s
characteristic of Patience attempts to support herself as a nanny were
Schuetrumpf, founder of the often rebuffed because of her race.
Patience Montessori school in Boulder. “I would appear at a potential client’s door
The school, at 3600 Hazelwood Court, in response to an ad,” she recounts, “and
opened last February as the newest see the surprised look of the person who
Montessori school in Boulder. answered the door with some comment like,
The school is unique in its dedication to ‘Oh, I didn’t realize that you were black.”
include the study of foreign languages and Yet Schuetrumpf maintained her positive
cultures, as well as sign language, in its disposition and hopefulness; her future
basic curriculum, available to 2- to 6-year-old husband, whom she had met in the meantime,
students. began accompanying her on some of her
Schuetrumpf’s own childhood educational interviews. Schuetrumpf finally met Gabi, a
opportunities were limited by her gender and German mother of three who welcomed her
her family’s financial situation. She was born with — literally — open arms.
in Nigeria. Schuetrumpf switched her studies to
“I remember spending almost every IT. She was accepted to the University
day hiding in a mango tree near my of Colorado in Boulder and graduated in
grandmother’s house, and watching other December 2001. She worked at IBM for 10
children going to school,” she says. “I months, before she was laid off.
remember being envious of the books they A newspaper ad for a “Montessori teacher”
carried, and of their school uniforms.” caught her eye, and Schuetrumpf applied,
So began Schuetrumpf’s early dream of based on her experience in caring for and
going to school, and eventually gaining an teaching children.
education that would allow her to travel
beyond Nigeria. However, she and her six
sisters were expected to marry and have
children as soon as they reached puberty;
Schuetrumpf’s mother was married at age 13.
Schuetrumpf’s luck changed when she was
age 6. Villagers collected money for her to
attend a school run by Catholic missionaries.
She got pencils, rulers, a uniform and
a storybook, which became her favorite
possession for many years.
“I was jumping up and down with
excitement about going to school,”
Schuetrumpf laughs. “And at night, holding
a ‘bush light,’ I would look and look at the
Photo by Jonathan Castner

pictures in my book. The story was about a

little girl who lived on a farm, and then went
to school like me. I tied it [the book] with a
rope, and took it everywhere with me.”
When Schuetrumpf was 13, she went
to another city to help her sister raise her
children in exchange for school fees.

14 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

 woman proves
Know an inspirational businesswoman
whom you think should be featured in
Close Up? E-mail us at
speakup@womensmag.com.

On the Web
www.patiencemontessori.com

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 15

YOUR HEALTH

Women’s Health Center reaches out to teens

B
oulder Valley Women’s Health Center recently
received a $20,000 grant from Rose Women’s
Organization to support emerging technolo-
gies in our Youth Services program.
The grant will help support a redesign of the Teen Clinic
Web site www.teenclinic.org and MySpace page, and imple-
mentation of innovative text and Twitter campaigns for pre-
vention messaging. These tools will be developed to reach a
broad age demographic -- including high school and middle
school aged youth and their families -- in hopes of building
bridges through family dialogue about sex and sexuality.
Teen Clinic provides teens with information and services
that keep them healthy, safe and free from unintended
pregnancy and disease. With locations in both Boulder and
Longmont, Teen Clinic provides free and confidential health
care to all females and males under age 20. Services include
annual exams and pap smears; birth control, including
emergency contraception and long-term contraception; STI
testing and treatment; HIV testing; HPV vaccine; pregnancy
testing; information on sexual health; and screening and
referrals for other high risk behaviors.
Rose Women’s Organization, a donor-advised fund of
Rose Community Foundation, provides grants to improve
the health, education and welfare of women, children
and families in the Greater Denver community. For more
information on Women’s Health, go to www.bvwhc.org. For
information on Teen Clinic, see www.teenclinic.org.
— By Aaron Trujillo

FIT AND FEMALE

Chocolate and fitness?

What a sweet combination!
I
f the Easter Bunny brings
you chocolate this year,
consider it a fitness boost.
Sound too yummy to be true? It’s
not.
To get the “skinny” on chocolate,
we consulted with Boulder’s
own, Chocolove owner Timo-
Tim: Our bodies need and crave
fat. The cocoa bean is a “good fat” and
satisfies our body’s need for good fats.
Although the fat in chocolate is listed
as a saturated fat, it is the in the chemi-
cal structure only and actually increas-
es elasticity of the arteries and
reduces plaque.

Photo by Jonathan Castner

thy Moley, an avid runner
and fitness enthusiast.
WM: Is it true that there
are actual health benefits of
chocolate?
Tim: Yes, the cocoa bean
contains a number of good
ingredients, such as antioxi-
dants that help rebuild cell
Andie Bernard
tissue, amino acids, which
are the building blocks for protein, and chocolate tester, how much chocolate
good fat.
WM: Is all chocolate created equal?
Tim:No, it all depends on the mix-
ture and the type. There are two types
of chocolate: dark chocolate and milk
chocolate. Dark chocolate contains 55
percent cocoa beans or more.
WM: Why do many people — espe-
cially women — crave chocolate?
WM: What about the ben-
efits of chocolate in regards to
athletic performance?
Tim: Chocolate contains
the stimulant “theobromine,”
which is referred to as food of
the gods. Theobromine helps
stimulate the heart to pump Tim Moley, Chocolove owner.
blood to the working muscles.
WM: As Chocolove’s official Tim: Chocolove can be found in
natural food markets, such as Whole
do you eat? Foods, Vitamin Cottage and Sunflower
Tim: I eat one pound a week and Markets.
have done so for the last 14 years with
no adverse health effects. Even after — By Andie Bernard
eating over 1,000 pounds of chocolate Bernard, of Boulder, is the director
from tasting and such, I have also and head coach of Tri Babes Training,
maintained a healthy weight. www.tribabestraining.org. Send your
WM: (Drooling) Where can we find fitness questions to coachandie@gmail.
chocolate by Chocolove? com.

16 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 17
 SIMPLY YOU

It’s time for a spring clearing, yes, with an “r”

BEFORE
Spring cleaning is out. Spring clearing is in.
I recently spring “cleared” a Boulder
woman’s closet. Here are the steps we used.
Try this on your own closet or any other area
of your home, as a useful technique to help
manage the messes.

Clear it out
completely.
• Pick a space you would like to clear out.
• Decide what is the ending point, when
will you know the job is done. (Example: “I
can walk into this closet and things won’t fall
on me.”)
• Physically remove everything from the
space. (Best when it’s a small space, like
a closet. When clearing a room, organize
one piece of furniture at a time. Don’t clear
a whole room or you’ll never finish with
energy or time!)

Let go.
• Remember that everything you keep,
you have to maintain, repair and keep up.
• Take a lesson from Dave Bruno, of
Illinois, who blogs about keeping only 100
items: www.guynameddave.com/100-thing-
challenge.html.
• Take extra home décor items to Feather
Thy Nest in Boulder, if you want to consign.
Otherwise, take them to Goodwill.

Engage
categories.
Photo by PJonathan Castner

• When removing items from the space,

use a staging space to lay everything out.
• Categorize your piles by “keep” (such
as clothing that fits, flatters and makes me
feel like a million bucks) and “donate/trash/
recycle/toxic waste.”

18 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

Arrange it back.
• Using those categories, put everything
you must keep (you use it, love it, need it)
back into the space.
• Keep like items together. This helps you
know what you have so you don’t buy and

AFTER
duplicate.
• Label your shelves so you will be sure
to always keep the right thing in the right Canavan
space.

Relax.
• Clearing out is very emotionally energiz-
ing, but physically exhausting.
• Put your feet up and relax at the end of
your clearing out session.

Tips from the experts

Use sticky notes when you’re not sure if
you’ll use an item or not. For example, stick a
note on the item that says “If not used by xx,
then donate.”
Remember what Oprah’s organizing expert
and host of TLC’s “Clean Sweep,” Peter
Walsh says: “Being organized is balancing
the things you need, the space you have and
the life you want to live.”
Purge extra hangers. Keep five extra ones.
That’s it!
Turn your hangers the opposite way on
the bar to see what you are really wearing.
Whatever stays turned the “wrong way”
for six months or a year, donate! You’re not
wearing it.
Reorganize clothing by groups: pants, tops,
skirts, dresses. And also by color. You’ll
see what you have and that you don’t need
another black T-shirt.
Move things closer to their new home. You’ll
come across things that might belong in
another place: your garage, your desk, etc.
Move these items to their “home” or at least
get closer.
Broken items should be trash or fixed. Make
a commitment to fix these items within the
week.

— By Liz Canavan
Canavan, of Boulder, is a professional
Photo by Jonathan Castner

organizer with Alchemy of Order and the

marketing director of the National Associa-
tion of Professional Organizers. Got questions
on how to simplify your life? Contact her at
303-641-4760, liz@alchemyoforder.com or
www.alchemyoforder.blogspot.com.

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 19

WISDOM
Women share experience
of middle life in Over the Moon Ovations
S
how and tell.
That’s the
shorthand Dee
Montalbano uses to de-
scribe what Over the Moon
Ovations does at its meet-
ings.
However, it would definite-
ly not be accurate to say that
this group of middle-aged
women learned everything
they needed to know in
kindergarten.
Instead, the group, which
meets monthly at the
Meadows Branch Library in
Boulder, aims to take a look
at the accumulated wisdom
of the 20 to 50 women who
attend — women ranging
in age from their 40s to 80s,
who have something to tell
— and often show — about
how they’ve come to view
the second half of life.
“There’s an awareness of
being on a threshold and
making choices,” says Deb
Fink Windrum, a librarian at
the University of Colorado,
who co-founded the group
with Montalbano.
Many women who attend
are in a state of transition
or want to be. Some are
divorced or have lost a
partner; others are new to
Boulder. Most have had a
career, and many have also
raised their children. Many
are now ready emotionally
and financially to take a risk.
Montalbano and Win-
drum met at a bus stop on
the way to different events
at the University of Colorado
and fell into an easy conver-
20 April 14, 2009
sation about life after passing Nitsa
50. Marcandonatou,
“We hit it off,” says Mon- in January
talbano, 74. “I told her about
a dream I had where I heard
women’s voices that said,
‘Speak louder.’ ”
Windrum came up with
the name for the group and
set about getting the library
to sponsor the event.
“When I met Dee, she
was talking about her dream
about ‘speak louder, speak
louder,’ ” Windrum says. “It
occurred to me that there
must be many women in the
Photo by Jonathan Castner
second half of life looking
for an opportunity to share
wisdom and to be with other
women wanting to hear.”
The group got its start in
January of last year. At each
meeting, one woman serves
as a presenter.
“(Over the Moon) was
designed as a platform for
individual women to share
their stories, their craft, their
expertise and their personal
journey that brought them to
this place,” Montalbano says.
Her own journey brought
her to Boulder in 1991
after a life in New York
that included an unhappy
marriage and divorce. She
says her transformation was
a matter of listening to her
own strong intuitive voice,
something she had buried
Photo by Mara Auster
for years.
“What I’ve realized in my
own life (is that) mid-life
is often a crossroads for
women,” she says.
— By Cindy Sutter Joan Raderman, left, and Dee Montalbano, in November.
Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com
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womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 21

SAFETY
What if... you have a stalker?
W
hen I was in
high school,
stalking
was an almost unheard of
crime that only happened to
celebrities. It seemed you
had to be rich, famous and
fantasy-worthy.
Today the face of stalking
has changed, and it reaches
past social and class bound-
aries. Stalkers hunt college
campuses, high school
hallways, even boardrooms
to find prey.
Stalking takes many
forms, and may change as
the obsession deepens or
wanes.
The most familiar
stalker is the predatory
stalker, who tracks a victim
to physically attack. These
stalkers usually avoid direct
contact until they “pounce,”
preferring instead to survey
their prey from the shad-
ows.
Many celebrities deal
with the intimacy seeker,
who improperly believes
that the target of affection is
his or her soul mate. These
stalkers send love letters
and may become a rejected
stalker, torn between rec-
onciliation and revenge.
The morbidly infatuated
believes the victim is actu-
ally in love with the stalker
and needs psychological
intervention to heal the
delusion.
A resentful stalker has
more interest in revenge
than a relationship and
blames others for caus-
ing bad things to happen.
This person has frighten-
ing staying power and will
often work to turn people,
22 April 14, 2009
On the Web
www.movingtoend-
sexualassault.org
including law enforcement, you can make to increase
www.bouldercounty-
against the victim. your feeling of safety. Can
safehouse.org
The Internet further you change your locks, take
complicates stalking; it can self-defense courses, move,
be used to enhance the vary your routine or get a By the numbers
above activities or be its roommate? These decisions 1 in 12 women will be
own independent category. are personal, so take the stalked in their lifetime.
A cyberstalker pretends time to make the decision 1.8 years is the
to be someone else or uses that works best for you. average duration of
electronic means to keep stalking.
tabs. These people in rela- — By Mary Casey II 77 percent of female
tionships often use text mes- Mary Ji-Aitoshi Casey II victims know their
saging or IM as a method is a third-degree black belt, stalkers.
for keeping tabs. They also Deshi and owner of the 87 percent of stalkers
check car GPS units or gas Boulder Quest Center. Send are men.
usage and mileage to learn her your safety questions at Source: www.ncvc.org.
about a victim’s movements. mary@boulderquest.com.
What to do if you
suspect stalking
1 . Do not engage with
the stalker. Don’t pick up
the phone or ask him (or
her) to stop texting you. A
stalker wants contact, even
if it’s negative. Don’t give
him any fuel.
2. Reach out. Let people
know you need help. If you
feel your safety is threat-
ened, report to the police,
even if there’s little to say.
Other resources include:
the University of Colorado’s
Office of Victim Assistance,
MESA and the Safehouse.
3. Tell others what is
going on. Let neighbors, co-
workers and friends know.
Even though we’ve become
an insular society, our safety
is increased when we have
people watching our backs
-- in a good way, not the
creepy stalker way.
4. Track what’s happened.
Write down every incident,
take pictures, get witness
statements, and note any
details you can remember.
5. Evaluate what changes Mary Casey II
Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com
HOT, HOT, HOT

Here’s what we’re loving in April

Music from the Motion
Picture “Vicky Cristin
Cristina
Barcelona.” This charming
romantic comedy by Woody
Allen has been receiving a
lot of attention lately since
Penélope Cruz won the
Pe
Best Supporting Actress
Be
Oscar for her role as Maria
Os
Elena. However, our favorite
El
feature of the film was its
fe
beautiful soundtrack. It
be
perfectly reflects the film’s
pe
light-hearted and romantic
li
portrayal of Spain. Largely
po
in Spanish, the album is
passionate and eclectic,
pa
yet tranquil. The perfect
ye
soundtrack for sunny April,
so
we say rent the movie, buy
the CD.
th
Opening Day at Coors
Field, April 10. Nothing
Fi
says April more than the
sa
roaring crowds of Coors
Field as the Rockies kick off
another season -- hopefully
a winning one this time.
True, we did just lose one
of our favorite studs, Matt
Holliday, and true, the
Rockies may not be the
best team in baseball. But,
there’s still nothing more
fun or relaxing than the
stadium lights, a smothered
foot-long Rocky dog, and
cheering the crack of a
Rockies’ homerun with
a group of your closest
friends.
For tickets this season,
check out the Coors
Light Ladies Fan Club
ticket package at www.
coloradorockies.com. For
only $160 you’ll receive two
lower level tickets to every
Wednesday home game, a
commemorative gift, and a
Coors Light coupon for each
game.
Charity Pot Lotion,
$20.45. We at the Women’s
Magazine always support
a good cause, especially
when it fits perfectly into
your daily routine and
smells like flowers! Start
every day with a good cause
with this hand and body
cream that donates every
penny of its retail sales (not
including tax) to charities.
Each pot has a label that
tells a story about one of
the supported animal rights,
environmental protection
or humanitarian charities.
Order online at www.
lushusa.com.
— By Jessica Warnock

VICE OF THE MONTH

IZZE Sparkling Fruit Juice

Nothing is more refreshing in these days
of sparkling sunshine than the sparkling
fruit juices by IZZE Beverage Company. A
local company started in 2002, IZZE makes
delicious natural beverages that are made
of 70 percent fruit juice and sparkling water.
They are free of caffeine, preservatives,
refined sugars and artificial flavorings and
coloring.
The company, which has quickly gained
national popularity, also gives back to
the community by donating to nonprofit
organizations such as the Global Education
Fund and The Wonder of Reading.
In addition to the original flavors
like sparkling grapefruit, which is our
personal fruity favorite, the company has
also released IZZE esque, a low calorie
Photo courtesy of Izze

alternative, and IZZE Fortified, which are

the same IZZE originals but with added
vitamins. This month, grab a book and a
lawn chair and soak up warmer, longer days
with your preferred IZZE pick.
— By Jessica Warnock

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 23

BOOK OF THE MONTH
April is
Child Abuse
“A Freed like every
possible strike
that is told to, rather than felt
by, the reader.
by Prevention
Month
Woman’s
she could Cope has overcome much
have against and created a nonprofit
Voices For
her. It’s one of foundation, the Cope
foun
Dance” those memoirs
that the
Foundation, to provide
Fo
scholarships to young black
scho
Children trains
local volunteers

S
to work as Court
urvivor of childhood reader doesn’t men in her community. She
me
Appointed Special
abuse, Doris Cope, necessarily enjoyjoy because of now works to counsel victims of
Advocates for
recently released the painful subject matter, but childhood sexual abuse.
abused and
a memoir about overcoming an important story that should Whereas the news is often
neglected
her past, “A Freed Woman’s be endured. filled with stories about
children.
Dance.” The beginning, when Cope innocent children becoming the
To attend the free
Cope was raised in the first tells of her family life and victims of adult problems, this
Light of Hope
projects of Chattanooga, her mother’s past, reads like a is the kind of story that helps
Luncheon on
Tennessee. She tells of poverty, novel. The romanticism about you to realize that abuse can be
April 21 at the
parental neglect, violence, her mother seems natural, from overcome.
Radisson Hotel
substance abuse and police an adoring child telling the Until abuse can be
and Conference
visits that were a constant story of the woman who gave eliminated, we can fall back on
Center at 1900
during her formidable years. her life. stories like this, filled with hope
Ken Pratt Blvd.,
However, the telling of the Later parts of the book seem about how victims can beat the
Longmont, or
physical, emotional and sexual forced. The conversations, as odds.
to learn more
abuse that she endured by the written, are obviously meant
about Voices for
hands of those meant to protect to tell the story of several — By Lyn Britton
Children, call
her becomes a tale of resiliency. conversations condensed into Contact Britton at
303-440-7059.
Cope overcomes what seems one chapter. It becomes a story boulderbookqueen@hotmail.com.

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24 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

LETTER TO A FRIEND

Jennie Dorris writes a
monthly friendship column in
the form of letters to women
who have shaped her life in
different ways.
To the friends who helped
me find my real laugh:
so they would perform
cartwheels and flips. I was
cast as the judge, where I
would watch them flip and
flop and hold up scores.
After each score we would
inevitably end up in giggles;
we didn’t know about real
admitted she was worried
we were laughing at her.
When my friend pointed
out my recent way of
laughing, I realized how far
I’d gotten from my initial
free laughter as a child. I
realized laughing at my own

R
ecently, one competition yet. expense took something
of my friends In college I had another purely joyful and turned it
called me giggling friend. After long into some way of creating to find my old laugh, the one
out on my laugh. We’ve days at class I would call emotional distance. free of any meanness, the
been trying to be more her to debrief and we So now when I have the one that is still loud, free and
accountable to each other would laugh and laugh. Her instinct to laugh I make innocent.
these days, and she pointed roommate, also a friend, myself take a pause, and
out that I laugh when I don’t would get suspicious of our ask myself why. I try not to — By Jennie Dorris
want to deal with real issues. laughing and we’d hear a worry, like my old college Contact Dorris at
She was annoyingly right. click as she picked up the friend did, that people will noboysallowedcolumn@gmail.
I love to make fun of myself phone to listen in. Later she laugh at me. I’m trying now com.
before I think other people
might. You want to ask me
about my novel? I will let
you know I’m slogging away
but “I’m sure it’s close to
being rejected.” And then, of
course, I’ll laugh.
I was surprised to hear
her comment, because one
of the most distinct things
about me is my laugh. It’s
not a pretty laugh by any
stretch of the imagination,
but it’s loud and genuine.
(And sometimes interrupted
with some hooting.)
There was a time when
things were different. When
I was younger, my friends
and I would giggle and run
around the neighborhood
after school each day. We
would decide we were
Olympic gymnasts — the
other three girls were
enrolled in gymnastics class,

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 25

AUTHOR

Inside “He’s Just Not

That Into You”
G
reg Behrendt may not be a the awesome. And it’s awesome.
household name, but you WM: It’s got to be hard to go from
definitely know him. being a comedian to writing this book
He’s a stand-up comedian and now it’s a movie. Have you seen
and was a consultant for “Sex and the the movie?
City.” Oh, and there’s that little book Greg: Yeah. I think anything’s great
called “He’s Just Not That Into You,” “source material” for relationships,
which recently became a movie star- and there was certainly a lot of good
ring the likes of Drew Barrymore and source material there. The way I look
Jennifer Aniston. at it was they painted a picture of my
Now, here’s your chance to get to book but with Scarlet Johansson and
know Behrendt better. Jennifer Aniston. So I’ll take it.

WM: Have you even been to Boul- — By Leah M. Charney

der?
Greg: Yep. I love it. It’s cute. I think Greg
went shopping for some vintage cow- Behrendt
boy stuff at some point. It’s great. I like
this state.
WM: Do you get the same relation-
ship questions in every city? Or do
you find that it’s different in the deep
South versus the Midwest? Are women
across America are asking the same
questions?
Greg: They’re all the same.
WM: So we’re all the same idiots.
OK.
Greg: I wouldn’t say idiots. I would
say that it’s all the same problems.
Everyone has the same problems.
They’re in a relationship with someone
they don’t understand and wonder if
they should stay in it.
WM: And the good relationships
really aren’t that much work?
Greg: My experience — and I
always have to say my experience — is
they shouldn’t be that much work. My
relationship isn’t that much work, and
it’s actually really fun. I actually look
forward to seeing my wife.
WM: I love the way you talk about
your wife.
Greg: You know I waited a really
long time to — I mean I didn’t get mar-
ried until I was 35. I met her when I
was 33. I waited a long time to find

26 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

ALL ABOUT YOU

Tantric Tip
Here are some ways to
spring clean your love life —
and yourself, energetically,
spiritually and emotionally
according to Tantric Sacred
Journeys:

Look within.
Take stock of your beliefs.
Release old patterns and
energetic blocks that are
keeping you from happiness,
freedom, passion and love.
How to do this:
Meditation, yoga, Tantric
rituals and healing,
sacred circles and setting
intentions.

Ask yourself:
Why hold on to the old,
even when you know it
doesn’t serve you? Do you
hold on out of comfort,
laziness, misunderstanding,
safety or complacency?
Instead: Practice patience
and kindness toward
yourself. Don’t try to
release everything at once.
Pressure usually leads to
disappointment.

Get support.
One local group,
organized by Tantric Sacred
Journeys, can help you
spring clean your love life.
Upcoming “pujas,” or sacred
circles, are April 2 and May
7. Meetings are 7-9:30 p.m.,
at 1419 Cedar Ave., Boulder,
$20 for singles and $35 for
couples (even if you’re just
friends). Check out www.
tantricsacredjourneys.com
for more info.
Source: Tantric Scared Journeys.

— By Aimee Heckel

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 27

COVER STORY

A second life
Story by Annie Brokaw
Photos by Jonathan Castner

I
f you find yourself fortunate enough to
meet Gail Siegel, know that the woman
before you is nothing like the woman you
would have met several years ago.
With her silver and white hair, amber eyes
and trendy wardrobe, Siegel, 57, of Lafayette,
is the picture of what it means to age grace-
fully. Her warm laugh will draw you in and
keep you intrigued. Unless, of course, you
can’t take the heat when she tells it like it is.
There’s no mincing words with Siegel. She
stands up for herself and lets her opinions be
known.
That straightforward attitude has been
consistent throughout it all: Siegel’s career
changes, her physical changes and the deep-
er, internal changes that came along with
transforming her life. The mentality shift that
gave her the push to lose the weight started
it all. Then, the weight loss renewed her
confidence to drive her to pursue an entirely
new career path. And now, Siegel sits here
today, looking like a different woman, living a
much different life.
And this spring, as the trees near her
Lafayette home begin to push forth new
leaves and the perennials emerge from the
soil — as new flowers, yet from the same
roots — Siegel reflects on the spring of her
own life, a reminder that it is never too late to
rebuild and redefine yourself.

Seven years ago, Siegel was carry-

ing around enough extra weight to make
another entire person. A small person, like
Lindsay Lohan perhaps — but still. Six years
ago, Siegel lost 115 pounds, a huge hurdle.
But for her, the real success is that she’s
maintained that loss for five years.
“I think it was my negative self I lost,” she
says.
The turning point came one afternoon

28 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

 while she was watching football with friends.
When player statistics popped up on the
screen, Siegel made a sad correlation.
“I weighed more than John Elway. That
was a defining moment for me,” she says.

It’s never too late “It was enough to send me to a really dark
place.”
With the help of her Boulder-based psy-

to redefine yourself chotherapist Jackie Szablewski, Siegel finally

took control of her binge eating and her life.
“I just got to an age where the whole
weight thing wasn’t about looks. I didn’t feel
good. I really love life and I want to embrace
the second half,” says the now healthy Siegel.
She maintains her weight by avoiding
sugar, eating well, walking daily, practicing
yoga and continuing to examine her eating
disorder with Szablewski’s help.
Another big part of the equation for Siegel
has been learning to trust herself and that
she’ll make the right decisions. She’s worked
Gail Siegal hard on taking responsibility for her life and
her actions — things she didn’t want to take
responsibility for.
“Now, taking responsibility feels good.
Before it felt like no one was driving the bus.
Now I can lovingly direct myself,” she says.

Siegel’s success with weight loss gave

her the confidence to make other changes,
as well.
“It gave me the freedom to reassess my
entire life,” she says.
Siegel was well into a 22-year career with
the University of Colorado in Boulder. A
career she’s grateful for, one she enjoyed,
and one she retired from this fall to pursue
a whole new path — a career designing and
making jewelry.
Siegel had been making beaded jewelry for
some time, as a hobby. Last year, she began
taking classes to learn how to use and work
with precious metal clay. She hoped it would
become a career to pursue after retirement.
“I was sitting in these classes thinking,
‘What are you doing? You’re too old for this,’ ”
she says. “And another voice was saying, ‘You
can do this, you can nail this.’ ”
Siegel now does marketing part-time at
The Naja in Denver, the largest jewelry sup-
ply store in the West, and she works on her
own jewelry in her studio in her 100-year-old
Victorian cottage in Lafayette. She also con-
tinues to take jewelry-making classes at the
Clear Creek Academy of Jewelry and Metal
Arts in Denver.
Retiring at such a young age has been chal-
lenging and a tad scary.
Continued on page 30

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 29

Siegel’s jewelry
G
ail Siegel’s
jewelry pulls
from the
simple design
influences of mission
style, Asian and Swedish
furniture and Mexican
art.
“I do art jewelry, not
fine jewelry. It’s more af-
fordable and user friend-
ly,” she says.
Siegel uses precious
metal clay, a substance
with the pliability of
modeling clay but with
silver or gold particles
suspended within a clay
“binder” substance.
Siegel molds the clay
to desired shapes, adding
simulated stones. Then
she heats it, which allows
the binder to burn off and
the metal particles to fuse,
creating a product that
is 99.9 percent precious
metal. The simulated
stones better withstand
the temperatures.
The one-of-a-kind pieces
range from $55 and $125.
You can find them at the
Sun Gallery in Puerto
Vallarta, Mexico, as well
as on her Web site, www.
silverfoxstudio.biz. Con-
tact her at gail@silverfox-
studio.biz.
30 April 14, 2009
Continued from page 29
“I had to deconstruct
my own brain on what is
success and what has value
and meaning for me. I’ve got
enough money to make it
work. I can make this all hap-
pen, and it feels so empower-
ing,” she says.
Choosing to make such
life-altering decisions can
be daunting and frighten-
ing. But seeking help can
dissuade the obstacles that
might be holding you back.
Here are some local wom-
en who can help you achieve
the change you seek.
Deirdre Dalton-Brodeur,
37, of Boulder, is a life coach
and the owner of Rising
Tides Business and Career
Coaching. For the last eight
years, Dalton-Brodeur has
made it her job to help oth-
ers find their ideal careers.
“It’s so fun to watch people
really find what lights them
up and makes them jump out
of bed in the morning,” she
says.
Dalton-Brodeur works
with her clients by asking
them the probing questions
they may not know to ask
themselves. Questions like:
What is important to you?
What would make you feel
happy and fulfilled in a day?
If money were no object,
what would you do?
“We spend a third of our
lives in our careers,” Dalton-
Brodeur says. “Why not
make that the best career
you could want?”
To start a life transforma-
tion, she also recommends
this process:
1. Taking a good hard look
at your life.
2. Taking responsibility for
where you are.
3. Setting intention for
what you do.
4. And taking action to
make necessary changes.
Women’s Magazine.
Dalton-Brodeur has seen
people make inspiring
changes.
“When people set their
minds to it, they can do some
pretty amazing things,” she
says.
Some may not know
a change is pending, or
needed. For some, it’s the
participation in a life altering
experience that gives them
the impetus they need.
Colleen Cannon, 48, of
Nederland, helps provide
those experiences to hun-
dreds of women each year.
A former professional
triathlete, Cannon started
Women’s Quest 18 years
ago as a different kind of
retreat for women. Not the
typical meditation retreat or
boot camp. She wanted to
combine the two with a focus
on refreshing the spirit.
Her dream turned into
a whole host of options for
women, ranging from yoga
retreats in Hawaii, to cycling
retreats in Tuscany, to surf-
ing retreats in Costa Rica, to
horseback riding in the Colo-
rado mountains. Each retreat
has elements to influence the
mind, body and spirit.
Cannon found that getting
women into nature, con-
necting to one another and
within themselves, helps
foster change and renewal.
“Sometimes it’s about
needing a new environment,
a new experience to awaken
us,” Cannon says.
For some women, this
change is a small spark that
gets them thinking about the
desire to be more creative.
For others, it’s about getting
off their booties and training
for a triathlon. Cannon has
seen 300-pound participants
who could barely complete
a hike commit to a triathlon
after a retreat.
Continued on page 31
womensmag.com
Continued from page 30
“We’re building their self
worth on the inside, little by
little,” Cannon says.
The recipe is simple. Par-
ticipants start feeling good,
the people around them are
supportive, and they feel like
the changes are acceptable
and acknowledged while the
retreat staff teaches about
healthy lifestyle, taking re-
Embracing change
T
here are
particular days
of the year —
New Year’s, early Spring,
birthdays — when it seems
a crime not to consider what
we can refresh and rein-
vigorate in our lives, when
setting goals for ourselves
can feel motivating. Then
there are the experiences
that practically force us to
rearrange things: We lose
a job, go through a divorce,
or experience the death of a
loved one. Times when we
don’t feel like doing much
other than just surviving.
Whether it is foreseen or
not, change is inevitable.
Our responses to the ongo-
ing shifts in life are what
define us. We can view the
forward pace of change as
uninvited or unmanageable
and remain in a state of stag-
nation. Or, we can embrace
that forward motion as an
ally on our path to transfor-
mation, opening to the stag-
gering, endless possibilities
that stem from going with
the flow.
Out of control
What happens when
something that’s out of your
control changes? Another
birthday ticks by, your
teenager leaves for college,
or your partner suddenly an-
nounces he or she has met
womensmag.com
sponsibility for your life, and
how to chose to be positive.
“It’s mostly that I tell
people they can do it — and
then they want more,” she
says.
Which sounds a lot like
the story of Gail Siegel. The
choice to change led to a
new level of happiness she
couldn’t have imagined a
someone else. These are the
times when we are undeni-
ably, inextricably, standing
at the proverbial fork in the
road. One direction points
to a road of resistance and
rebellion, the other to a road
of curiosity and flow.
When we encounter situ-
ations that are unexpected
or uninvited, our most
challenging emotions often
arise: anger, grief and fear.
These emotions can push us
into places of defiance and
denial, as we exert all of our
energy to try and stop the
flow of change. Not surpris-
ingly, the more effort we ex-
pend trying to maintain the
status quo in a situation over
which we have no control,
the less energy we have to
move in new directions and
embrace new possibilities.
Not that we should ignore
the emotions that arise when
we are being challenged by
change. On the contrary,
as we express and exhaust
those emotions, we are mak-
ing our way to the path of
least resistance.
Easier said than done,
right? Indeed, 90 percent of
the battle is learning how
to recognize when we are
trying to push the cart uphill
— going against the flow
— and consciously making
the choice to open to the
natural course of things.
Women’s Magazine.
decade ago.
She was recently walk-
ing her dog, Charlie, on a
local trail when she says
everything hit her. She all
but dropped to her knees,
overcome with gratitude.
“I feel so free — the
weight, the career I want. I
think more people should try
it,” she says. “I got my mojo
back.”
Quote of the month:
“Change is the only
constant.”
— Ancient proverb
The beauty of the process
is that once you’ve moved
into a place of surrender —
which takes time and the
support of friends, family
and community along the
way — the final 10 perfect of
the journey is often marked
by surprising and fulfilling
revelations.
Bring on the change
Then there are moments
in our lives when we actively
invite change in: a New
Year’s resolution to get out
and be more social, the pact
with our business partner to
increase next month’s sales,
or our daily “to do” list. It
can be exciting to envision
and invite new ideas that will
cultivate personal rejuvena-
tion and renewal. The rub
comes when our goals end
up in the driver’s seat and
leave us feeling obligated,
exhausted and inadequate.
If you feel less-than-jubi-
lant about the goals in front
of you, ask yourself these
questions:
Do you expect yourself to
be a superhero and do the
Cutline fits here flush left
work of three people?
Are you too hard on
yourself, pushing yourself
when no pushing is really
necessary?
Are your goals really the
goals that someone else
would like you to achieve?
Are you measuring
yourself against someone or
something?
If you answered “yes” to
any of these questions, it’s
time to reassess and reshape
your goals.
The first promise that we
should make when forming
objectives is to ourselves: a
promise to be realistic. You
can still day dream and have
big visions for the future, but
keep your present-day goals
in the realm of attainable.
Otherwise, you are setting
yourself up for failure.
Once you get clear about
your definition of realistic,
get creative, make a list and
dive in. After you surpass
many of your reasonable,
short-term goals, you might
just find that the changes
you never thought possible
have already come to pass.
— By Kimberly Jonas
Jonas is a Boulder-based in-
tuitive guide and healer and
teacher of sacred movement,
yoga and meditation. Contact
her at www.body-mantra.com
or www.kimberlyjonas.com.
April 14, 2009 31
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32 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

DATING AND OTHER BAD HABITS

Plucking the Perennial Favorites

T
here are men
who only live
in my phone
and not in my real life.
Well, at some point they
lived in my real life but in
ever so brief ways. For exam-
ple, there’s the financial plan-
ner whom I call J. Trouble. (I
think his name is John but it
could be Josh or James.) We
went on exactly — count ‘em
— two dates. And then, like
any good “man magic act,”
he disappeared.
Except he didn’t stay gone.
In fact, he shows up every
season. Every four months,
like clockwork, there’s a text
message from Mr. J. Trouble
telling me he was thinking
about me, or we should get
together, or my favorite, the
ever simple, “Hey gorgeous.” all too well. So I decide it’s I want to communicate my time to end this unhealthy
But it’s not just him. I have time to delete the perennial intention directly. I want to cycle.
a whole crop, eight or nine favorites from my life or else be left alone if it’s not going More disturbing is the
of them — men I’ve never they’ll keep popping up like to work out. fact that when I delete these
slept with, never been on ugly yellow flowers. Hollander sees through men I feel nothing. No guilt,
more than a few dates with, Over brunch, my married my veiled excuses and no excitement, nothing. J.
never expected much from, gal-pal, Jen, thinks back to pushes further: “All of us Trouble and the others are
who disappear and reappear her dating years and remem- want to get on with life and plucked easily like the sim-
every few months. bers what she called her get on with productive rela- ple weeds they’ve become.
I am at work when one “boomerang men.” No mat- tionships. The relationships So I keep deleting, until I get
such message arrives, so I ter how far she threw some, you’ve described have no to one that I don’t want to
run to my work-wife, Jessica, they just kept circling back. potential.” delete. One that I sometimes
the woman who effectively Erica Hollander, a trainer, Ouch. But she’s right. And wish would come back (due
handles all my drama when educator and therapist who she makes me realize that to whatever idiotic reason-
I’m in the office (and keeps specializes in human com- I’m doing myself no service ing, thanks Dr. Hollander). I
me in a steady supply of Kit munication, listens carefully by perpetuating the “cool think about deleting him for
Kat bars and Advil). When I when I tell her about these girl” myth. Like many wom- several days. Until finally, I
tell her about J. Trouble and “boomerangs.” en, I want to be thought of do.
the others like him, she tells “You need to ask your- as an awesome creature who And just like the others,
me, “It reminds me of these self ‘What messages am I is oh-so go with the flow. I feel nothing. Unlike the
ugly yellow flowers we used sending that make you think And that I’m the exception, others, I am relieved to feel
to have next to the driveway you can pop in and out of not like the “other” girls. So nothing.
growing up. My mom hated my life?’ Is there something I keep texting back, keep
those flowers so much. We’d you’re doing to invite this perpetuating a cycle because — By Leah M. Charney
mow them over and in the kind of behavior?” she asks. I don’t want to be rude. Plus, Charney is a sassy yet classy
winter run our sleds over Other than texting them I’m curious to know what’s minx who may be unleashing
them, but they just kept com- back each time? I hedge. I’m brought whichever man it is her delete key on Facebook
ing back.” a smart alpha-female. I want back. But I never get the sat- next. Contact her at www.dat-
I understand the metaphor to end this annoying pattern. isfaction of knowing. So it’s ingandotherbadhabits.com.

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 33

MEN WE LOVE
Dave Gaudette,
Boxer and
Buddhist
Know someone we should
feature in Men We Love?
We’re talking the total pack-
age: brains, beauty and a
servant’s heart. Yes, believe it
or not, there are plenty of good
guys out there who are multi-
dimensional, and we’re al-
ways on the prowl to recognize
them. E-mail nominations to
speakup@womensmag.com.
D
ave Gaudette
was 16 years
old when he
fell in love with boxing. At
the time, he was studying to
be a priest.
Every Saturday he was
given a $1 allowance. Of the
dollar he spent 50 cents on
a boxing magazine and the
rest on a bowl of chocolate
ice cream.
Now 58, Gaudette owns
and operates Front Range
Boxing, and he says he’s too
old to take hits anymore.
The walls in his gym are
lined with photographs of
Gaudette with famous box-
ers and trainers, alongside
Lao Tzo quotes, a testament
of his Zen Buddhism.
He’s come a long way.
Gaudette, originally from
New Hampshire, came to
Boulder for his master’s
degree because it was one
of only three universities
that offered a East/West
Philosophy program. He
realized after high school
that priesthood was not for
him. Rather, he says he was
attracted to the wisdom of
Buddhism and its existential
origins. Today, almost 15
years after opening his gym,
philosophy remains a very
34 April 14, 2009
Dave Gaudette
important part of his life
and his boxing. He tries to
meditate at least once a day.
Boxing, he says, is a meta-
phor for life.
“Boxing is a very exis-
tential sport. Just like life, it
requires training. It requires
discipline. It requires hard
work. It requires courage,”
he says. “It can end at any
moment.”
For Gaudette, boxing is
about empowerment. It’s a
way to learn about your body
and your mind. You learn to
realize how much power you
have and how to unlock it.
Gaudette says he espe-
cially likes having women
around the gym because
they often pick up boxing
quicker than men do.
A thinker — and a fighter?
We wanted to know more
about this humble and happy
man, so we asked him four
questions about boxing
and life and how it all fits
together. Then we asked his
24-year-old daughter, Lisa,
the same questions. Here’s
how it went:
1. What is something
your clients might be
surprised to know about
you?
Dave: I don’t know if
they’d be surprised that I like
Women’s Magazine.
Photo by Jonathan Castner
Lisa and her dad, Dave
Gaudette
poetry and art ... I’m pretty
much an open book.
Lisa: That he has a mas-
ter’s in philosophy. Until they
talk to him. And then they’d
be like, “Yeah, of course.”
2. What are your great-
est strengths and weak-
nesses in boxing?
Dave: I’ve got a good jab
and I’ve got a good left hook.
But I’m too humble. I was a
little too nice of a guy. I had
a hard time getting that ag-
gressive edge. The virtue of
which I am most proud is my
humility.
Lisa: I think he’s a great
teacher. He has really good
technique and he’s awesome
with kids, teaching kids.
He knows everything there
is to know about the sport.
The only weakness I can
think of isn’t in boxing, it’s in
business. He’s a little messy.
He’s a little unorganized.
The business aspect is a little
hard for him.
3. What woman has had
the biggest impact on
your life?
Dave: My mother. She
was a kind, nurturing per-
son. She tried to make every-
body in the room as comfort-
able as possible, even if she
wasn’t. She was a real lady.
She was the (female) coun-
terpart of a gentleman.
Lisa: His mom. My
grandmother. Absolutely no
question. She is the most
wonderful lady ever. She’s
picture perfect. She’s like
June Cleaver.
4. What inspires you?
Dave: Compassion. This
is one of my favorite lines in
literature: “Compassion is
the chief, perhaps the only
law, of human existence.” It
brings tears to my eyes. I try
to have compassion for all
things. But it really both-
ers me when people try to
victimize people.
Lisa: I think the Bud-
dhism type religion. He gets
a lot of faith from that, his
groundedness. It keeps him
in check almost. Emotion-
ally, he doesn’t sweat the
small stuff.
Dave offers a free intro-
duction class at his gym on
Sundays. Call 303-546-9747
to schedule an appointment or
check out www.frontrangebox-
ing.com.
— By Jessica Warnock
womensmag.com

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Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 35
IN A FAMILY WAY

The note
T
here was a note,
unlike all of the
others.
From the time my first
daughter entered her daycare
to now, I’ve been obsessed
with these notes. On a daily
basis, the notes sent home
from the wonderful men and
women who have watched
over my children tell me about
the hours of their days when
we’re apart.
What they eat; when they
sleep. The cute things they’ve
done, or said. Once, my
youngest daughter only took
two 20-minute naps over the
course of an entire day, and
it was in the note. Once, she
really loved the new yogurt
I brought in for her, and the
note told me so. Once, my
eldest daughter went out of
her way to be kind to the new
girl in class, and that was in
the note.
But this note said, in short,
no more daily notes.
They’re big preschool- don’t hover. I let my kids do be 5?” she will do whether I like it or
ers now, the note said. So things on their own. I didn’t Hopefully never, my heart not; it’s about me. Parents can
every week lesson plans, and freak out when my mother-in- said, while my smiling mouth be their children’s guide, but
menus, and schedules will be law said she gave my daugh- said: “One year from today.” in tiny ways along their path,
sent home, but the daily notes ter Diet Coke. I let them eat Later that week, my toddler all the time, those children
will be no more. sushi! I let them pick out their started chasing the 4-year-old will be branching out on their
So this is growing up. own outfits! I let them use the around the living room for own.
Children always do. One day, 5-year-old rated puzzles when the very first time. After the Get used to it.
you’re cradling them in your they’re only 3 years old! I’M hysterical laughter subsided, So this is me, growing up.
arms, and the next, they’re BREEZY! the 4-year-old asked, “Why After three and a half decades,
walking into kindergarten. Children seem to grow up can she run now?” after donning two caps and
And then, suddenly, they’re all on their own. We can guide “Because she’s growing up, two gowns, after traveling
new professionals living them, we can teach them, we honey, just like you.” around the planet, walking
across the country in an apart- can (and this is a scary fact) “When am I going to be down one aisle and having two
ment you’ve not yet seen and hurt or ignore them, but the there?” she asked. children, I’m not there yet, not
they only call you on Sundays. one thing we can’t do is keep “Where?” “up.”
This is immediately what them from growing up. “Up,” she said. This bit of knowledge is
pops into my head after read- This was evident to me on Hopefully never, my heart as intimidating as it is full of
ing the note. the morning of my daughter’s said. promise. When am I going to
Then I chide myself: This birthday. She went to bed as It’s around this time that be there? Hopefully never.
note should not make me a 3-year-old, but woke up 4. “I I get it. The note from the
panic. Me? I’m a cool mom. love being 4,” she said. “Four preschool is not about my — By Erika Stutzman
I’m no helicopter parent. I is really fun. When do I get to daughter growing up, which erika@womensmag.com

36 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

QUICK AND EASY RECIPE

Slim stalks, delicious eating

T
he best thing about Roasted asparagus
spring, besides downhill 1 pound asparagus
skiing in short-sleeved 2 tablespoons extra virgin
shirts, is asparagus. This time of year, olive oil
you’ll find them at their yummiest — Optional crumbles: Chopped
slim and delicate, but not stringy; firm nuts, sliced hard-boiled egg,
tips and a strong, green flavor. bacon bits, minced prosciutto,
The Cantonese stir-fry it with beef; blue cheese or Parmesan
the Belgians serve it in everything from crumbles or any combination of
creamy soups to simple side dishes; in the above
Italy, you’ll find them topped with a fried
duck or chicken egg. Directions: Snap off the
They can be wrapped in puff pastry tough bottoms. Toss asparagus
ribbons and baked for a pretty appe- in a big salad bowl with oil to
tizer; but I like them best roasted or coat. Heat oven to 450 degrees.
grilled, then topped with any manner Put asparagus in a shallow
of toppings. Toss them with oil, cook roasting pan and roast for 15 to
them, and top them with protein and 20 minutes (the stalks should
you’ve got a fresh and filling (and be slightly browned in parts,
simple) main course. but only slightly wilted-looking
and mostly bright green.) Re-
— By Erika Stutzman Associated Press move and top with protein.

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womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 37

HOME PREVIEW

Home, home on the

(240-acre) range

M
Photos by aria Greco Cox’s house is the perfect
Jonathan balance between convenient and out
Castner of the way, a beautiful blend of country
farmhouse and the southwest, and the perfect
answer to a desire for change in a comfortable
union.
Maria and her husband of 12 years, Neil Cox,
moved into their home out near Oxford Road
in Longmont five years ago. It was a home they
spent seven years searching for.
Prior to their move, they lived in a home Neil
had occupied for 21 years. The desire to move
was Maria’s, and she was happy just to find
something new. For Neil, a new home would
have to be better than the lovely home they
already occupied in Orange Orchard in north
Boulder. But the home in Orange Orchard never
felt like Maria’s, despite her hard work to make
it so.
“This was much more of a priority for me than
Neil. I wanted something new and something
that was ours,” Maria says.
Seated on two acres and surrounded by 240
acres of agricultural open space, their new
home has views of the Flatirons, the morning
sunrise to the southeast and the evening sunset
to the northwest. When darkness descends, the

38 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

lights of Longmont to the east sparkle in the
distance. A 15-minute drive to either Boulder or
Longmont, the Cox’s have the benefit of living
close to town without the noise, small yards and
crowded feeling often found in more suburban
settings.
At the top of the cul-de-sac, it’s not a hard
home to miss with its classical farmhouse
exterior — large front porch included — and
eclectic teal and purple trim. Inside you find a
light and airy home with mission-style furniture,
colorful Mexican rugs on a beautiful hardwood
floor, jewel-toned southwestern art and plenty of
bright sun for all of Maria’s plants.
A ranch-style home with four bedrooms, an
office, three full baths, a recreation room with
a pool table, formal living spaces, a kitchen a
chef would love and informal breakfast nook,
this house has more than enough space for the
Coxes and their two dogs.
Maria is a counselor and psychotherapist,
while Neil is the chief financial officer of
Tombstone Technologies. Both have offices at
home and in Boulder, which gives them plenty
of opportunity to enjoy their home and the views
it affords.
— By Annie Brokaw

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 39

TRAVEL
Girl Trippin’
N
ext time you get the urge to plan a vacation,
you may want to accidentally forget to invite
your husband. If you have kids, forget to
invite them, too.
Instead, call up the people who will willingly shop, spend
hours by the pool, indulge in lavender salt scrubs, and
watch late night screenings of “Steel Magnolias” with you.
These people are your girlfriends.
A girl trip offers the chance to reconnect with yourself,
your friends and, most importantly, to let loose and have
some fun. Destinations can be anything from camping to
cooking school to sightseeing in a big city. Just because it’s
a girl trip doesn’t mean it has to include wine drinking and
spa treatments. (But it probably will.)
Given that money is mysteriously evaporating from the
planet these days, you and your gal pals may be planning
a trip on a budget. One way to keep costs down is to stay
local. For example, get away to one of Colorado’s mountain
hot springs. Nothing facilitates good girl talk like a place
where all there is to do is sit in warm water and stare at
each other. Be sure to pack along some mind-eroding celeb-
rity gossip magazines, blacklisted snacks and a swimsuit (or
not, depending on how you roll), and you’re set for a glori-
ously stress-free weekend. Strawberry Park Hot Springs
just outside of Steamboat (www.strawberryhotsprings.com)
is sure to please.
Avani Dambroise, Kate Nelson, Tamara Gaudin and Ashley Cohen.
40 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine.
Another local option is a visit to the unpretentious wine
country on the Western Slope. Pack up your bikes and a
sturdy bottle opener and set out for the charming town of
Palisade. Pedal from winery to winery, tasting the wares
(almost always for the bargain price of free) and taking in
gorgeous scenery, all for a fraction of what a similar trip in
California would cost. Go in late summer and slurp the juice
from ripe Palisade peaches while gazing out over pictur-
esque vineyards.
But maybe you’re longing for a total change of scenery, or
just want to leave the planning to someone else. In this case
look no further than the First Annual Girls Gotta Get Away
Caribbean Cruise, brought to you by Erie-based Gotta Get
Away Travel.
Picture yourself on a cruise ship in the Bahamas, sur-
rounded by your favorite gals, sipping fruity drinks and
relaxing in ocean breezes. Aaaahhhhh. This four-day cruise
starts at the wallet-friendly price of $330 (airfare is sepa-
rate). Be ready to set sail June 21. For more information
contact Shril Garcia at gga.travel@gmail.com.
The truth is, where you go on your girl trip is much less
important than whom you go with. With true girl friends,
the fun will come just from being together.
— By Kate Nelson
Photo Courtesy of Kate Nelson
womensmag.com
CLOSE TO HOME

You don’t have to travel far to travel far-out

T
he Bay Area
of the 1960s
is a time and
place etched in American
history. It had a sound and
culture all its own: tie-dye,
LSD and the Grateful Dead.
Peace, love and flower
power. A counter-culture
fueled by eastern philosophy
and acid rock.
Thanks to the work of
cutting-edge graphic artists
such as Wes Wilson and oth-
ers, that moment in time had
its own unique look as well
— a tapestry of vibrant col-
ors, richly textured images
and a chaotic, silly string-like
font that was as much optical
illusion as advertisement.
It’s a style we now know as
psychedelic, and the artwork
of this period is celebrated
in the Denver Art Museum’s
new exhibit, “The Psychedel-
ic Experience: Rock Posters
from the San Francisco Bay
Area, 1965-71,” which runs
through July 19.
The exhibit features more
than 300 posters promoting
Bay Area concerts from that
time, from headlining acts
like Jefferson Airplane, San-
tana and Jimi Hendrix to era-
defining events like the Trips
Festival, the Haight-Ashbury
Festival and Ken Kesey’s
Acid Tests. The names and
venues are part of the rock If you go
‘n’ roll pantheon: promoters What: “The Psychedelic Experience: Rock Posters from the
Bill Graham and Chet Helms San Francisco Bay Area, 1965-71”
and Family Dog Productions, When: Runs through July 19.
the Fillmore Auditorium, the Where: Denver Art Museum, 100 W. 14th Ave. Parkway
Avalon Ballroom. Tickets: $15 adults, $12 seniors and students, $7 ages 6 to
18, free for museum members
— By Vince Darcangelo Info: 720-865-5000 or www.denverartmuseum.org

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womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 41

Shopping Weekends
Every month, we feature
a different shop in town.

Weekends, 1200

in Five
Pearl St., Boulder,
(When you’re not necessarily 303-444-4231, www.
weekendsboulder.com
a size five)
Spring has sprung! And
the season of renewal
is a good time to renew
our wardrobe. We hit up
Weekends on the Pearl
Street Mall for five style
trends for spring 2009.

1. Mixing
neutrals
Mixing neutrals is
popular this spring.
Combining neutrals
creates a tonal feel
that looks great on all
complexions. The stone
and the sandal create
a earthy feel, another
great look this season.
On Pahtyana: Madi-
son Marcus Absolute
dress in dune, $318.
Jezebelle smoky quartz
and pearl necklace,
$200. Frye Gail ankle
strap heel, $188.
On Michelle: Poles
three-fourth sleeve car-
digan in light gray, $385.
Splendid 1x1 tank in
black, $39. XCVI Poplin
pant in sand, $135. Cyn-
thia Dugan citrine, pearl
and leather necklace,
$450. Donald J. Pliner
Siena sandals, $275.

Photos by Jonathan Castner

Stylist: Angel Garcia, www.
pinupprettymua.com
Models: Pahtyana Moore and
Michelle Lawson.

42 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com


2. Boyfriend short
The boyfriend short is a huge trend right now. The
oversized slouchy feel can create both a tomboy feel or
a more feminine look with bright colors. The adorable
and light-weight cowboy boots are versatile for spring.
Chunky, bold jewelry, especially in leather, will also be a
huge hit.
On Pahtyana: James Jeans Boy Toy shorts, $158. Velvet
womensmag.com Women’s Magazine.
3. Signature scarf
Following the trends of inter-
national travel, scarves are all
things cool this spring. They are
light-weight, gauzy and work with
every outfit. Also, worn and torn
distressed jeans are making a come
back after a few years of the dark
and clean look.
On Pahtyana: Justin Gregory but-
terfly scarf, $60. Three Dots short
sleeve scoop tee, $68. Paige Skyline
ankle peg jean in rebel, $189. Frye
Abey Huarache shoe in cognac,
$158.
On Michelle: Modern Amuse-
ment Deep Sea Dip Dye Scarf, $198.
Velvet Merina wrap top, $78. Paige
Rising Glen jeans, $189. Donald J.
Pliner Fifi sandals, $235.
Adela blouse, $145. Gillian Julius gold, silver and leather
bracelet, $310. Frye Melissa short canvas boot, $248.
On Michelle: Poles Panda three-fourth sleeve cardigan
in watermelon, $198. Splendid 1x1 tank in mandarin, $39.
Splendid 1x1 tank in white, $40. Chan Luu gold and onyx
necklace, $345. Paige Rising Glen jeans, $189. Donald J.
Pliner Sidra sandals, $325.
April 14, 2009 43
 On the Web
Check out Womensmag.com for a behind-the-
scenes video of the fashion shoot!

5. Maxi dress
Floor length dresses are the perfect rooftop patio
look. They look great on all body types and you can
wear them dressed up or down. Try fitted dresses for
definition or the bohemian-style for a more flowy feel.
On Pahtyana: Alice and Olivia Sahara dress, $415.
Rebecca Bourke Tree of Life necklace, $210. Cole Haan
Air Huarache Slide in carob, $198.
On Michelle: Velvet Long tube dress in pansy $150.
Lilla P. three-fourth sleeve cardigan, $165. Chan Luu
Bracelet $150. Donald J. Pliner Sidra sandals, $325.

4. Metallic
Metallics and shine are everywhere this spring!
These looks give a subtle pretty sheen without being
over the top. Try this for a night out on the town.
On Pahtyana: Velvet Fadora waterfall sequin top,
$125. Rock & Republic Berlin white jeans, $210. Cole
Haan Huarache Air Sling, $298.
On Michelle: Isda & Co. Foiled sweater, $220.
Splendid 1x1 tank in white, $40. Splendid 1x1 tank in
ocean, $40. Plum Designs clear quartz necklace, $210.
Paige Rising Glen jeans, $189. Donald J. Pliner Siena
sandals, $275.

— By Women’s Magazine staff

44 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

SHOPPING FOR A CAUSE

Join the Momentum

J
ust as important
as the votes we
cast in elections
are the votes we
cast every day with our dol-
lars.
If you’d like your dollars
to hit the campaign trail for
fair wages, opportunity and
environmental stewardship,
Momentum is the place for
you.
Located at 1625 Pearl St.
in downtown Boulder, this
fair trade store has an eclec-
tic selection of great jewelry,
bags and scarves made by
artisans around the world.
Every dollar spent is one
more step toward a better
future.
Photo by Jonathan Castner
— By Kate Nelson Kevin Natapow, co-founder of Momentum.

CONFESSIONS OF AN ECO DIVA

Keep it clean and leave me smelling

pleasant. When searching
for a new soap, one rule I

B
eing covered
in sweat, dust
and mop water
is not my idea of a good
time. Therefore, my favorite
part of spring cleaning
is the part where I clean
myself.
But wait! Many shower
gels and cleansers contain
ingredients that are much
more frightening than the
grime on the kitchen floor.
If you’re showering with a
product that contains toxic
preservatives and fragranc-
es, how clean are you really
getting?
Now, as a bit of a girly-
girl, I expect a lot from
my soap. I want it to form
a creamy lather, clean my
skin without drying it out,
follow is to look for a short
list of ingredients. If I can
actually pronounce the
names of these ingredients,
the soap gets extra points.
If some of the ingredients
are organic, it may very
well find a new home in my
shower.
The following are a few
products that have proven
themselves worthy:
Dr. Bronner’s shower
gel is an undisputed house-
hold favorite. With simple
ingredients, recycled pack-
aging and a killer lather,
this scented castile soap
passes all my tests. A word
of warning: The peppermint
variety can be surprisingly
tingly; watch your sensitive
areas. Dr. Bronner’s soaps
are available at Target,
Pharmaca and Sunflower
Market. Thirty-two ounces
costs about $14. Dr. Bron-
ner’s also suggests using
their peppermint soap to
brush your teeth. I don’t
recommend this.
If you’re more of an old
fashioned bar soap kind of
gal, Pangea Organics has
some winners. Made right
here in Colorado, these
little bars smell delightful,
lather up luxuriously, and
contain loads of organic
ingredients. Plus, you can
plant the box and (in the-
ory) something will grow.
Pick up Pangea soaps for
about $6.50 at most natural
food stores.
So go ahead and work up
a sweat while tackling your
spring cleaning chores. Just
make sure you clean up
your soap while you’re at it.
— By Kate Nelson
Nelson is Boulder’s self-
proclaimed eco-diva. Contact
Nelson at ecokate@live.com.

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 45

IF I KNEW THEN
W
hen I was in
the fourth
grade our
family moved from a very
small town in southwest
Oklahoma to an even smaller
town just 9 miles west.
The first day of school was
transformational.
In those days kids were
seated alphabetically. Mrs.
Holbrook assigned me to the
Caruso-Christner desk row. I
was Christner. From that day forward Caruso was my best
friend.
It was a rural community. The kids in our class were
either farm kids or town kids. Nancy and I were town kids.
My folks ran the Chevy dealership. Nancy’s folks ran the
hardware store. It was the McGuckins of Mountain View. I
loved going to the store after school with Nancy. She liked
coming home with me. My mom always had something
wonderful for after school snacks.
Nancy and I were pretty much inseparable for the next
nine years. We schemed, challenged the status quo, started
fashion trends and rocked the boat. It was the ‘60s and
changing the world was definitely on our agenda.
After high school we went to different colleges. We
stayed close through those years and as we started our
careers. When we married she was my maid of honor and
I was hers.
I moved away from Oklahoma after college and we saw
each other less often, but time and distance never dimmed
our friendship. When I visited her we’d sit on the front
porch, surrounded by her beloved rosemary bushes. Into
the wee hours we’d drink Scotch and tells lies and the years
would disappear. That’s just the way it was with us.
Then Nancy got sick. A mole on her ankle turned out to
be melanoma. She fought bravely, making monthly trips for
the latest treatments at a special cancer center 400 miles
away. In the end though, the deadly disease won the day.
I visited her several times after she got sick. Those were
grace-filled hours. We laughed and cried and celebrated
our extraordinary friendship. The last time I visited she
was bedridden and bald. I just held her.
She died three years ago in the spring.
She taught me many things, one of which is not to delay
your dreams. The two of us always planned to travel to Italy.
Her illness prevented that trip.
So I made the trip two years ago. My family rented an
ancient farmhouse set amid olive groves and boughs of
wild rosemary — Nancy’s beloved rosemary.
That’s where I scattered her ashes.
— By Colleen Conant
Conant, the former editor of the Camera in Boulder, retired
after a 35-year career in newspaper journalism. She is on
the staff of the Community Foundation Serving Boulder
County.
46 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine.
BE INSPIRED
Deep spring cleaning
R
ebuilding your life after a loss or big change is one
of the greatest opportunities in life. We get to start
over with the wisdom that we’ve learned from our
past experience of what works and what doesn’t. Life is giving us
a clean slate to create anew.
I’ve been through many major changes and “do overs” in my 50
years. Some intentional. Most not. The wisdom that I’ve learned
in how to succeed is this:
We can choose to focus on where we’re going, not where we’ve
been. You can’t move forward on your path when you’re looking
behind you. Imagine the results of hiking up the trail at Mount
Sanitas while looking backward. It wouldn’t work well. Life is the
same way; we must focus on the destination.
We can only have one thought in our minds at the same time,
so choose to make it make it a good thought. Beating yourself
up for what may appear to be a failure serves no one. We have a
limited amount of energy and it is far better to spend it creating
the new life we desire rather than berating ourselves over
the failures of the past. Forgive yourself and others and move
forward.
Life will be a much happier place when we realize there
is blessing in every situation, even the one that created the
opportunity to rebuild. Sometimes it takes a few years before
we’re able to see it, but whether we can see it or not, the blessing
is there.
Adversity isn’t always a bad thing. We grow only through
change, both external and internal. Adversity can be turned to
opportunity simply by adjusting our perception and attitude.
We are creatures of habit and taking the leap to do something
different — whether voluntary or not — often causes fear. Many
times we allow that fear of the unknown to hold us back from
experiencing all that life has to offer. Instead, step forward toward
your goal, harness the fear and let it be your motivator. Fear,
properly channeled, can be rocket fuel to reaching your dreams.
Sometimes the new path can look overwhelming. That’s
when we have to remember that just as we can climb an entire
mountain with baby steps, one small action a day will help rebuild
our new life.
Keep the faith and move forward with gratitude. When you are
grateful, more blessings will flow your way.
And remember, you’re not alone. Connect to your community
and to whatever greater Source you believe in.
Inspirational to do list
This month:
Focus on where you’re going and let go of the past.
Practice positive thoughts and forgiveness.
Find the blessing in every situation.
Change the fear into excitement!
Take baby steps toward your goal.
Have faith and be grateful for where you are in this moment.
— © By Gail Lynne Goodwin
Goodwin, of Boulder, is the “Ambassador of Inspiration” for
Inspire Me Today (www.inspiremetoday.com). Contact Goodwin at
gail@inspiremetoday.com.
womensmag.com
TWISTS OF FATE
The marriage proposal
“W hen are
you going
to get
married?”
Did I miss the worldwide
memo stating once two
people have been in a
relationship for longer than
four years with no talk of a
marriage, it is your job to
push the marriage question?
I must have, because that
infamous question started
right at the 4-year mark of
our relationship. And not
only from friends and family.
Also from total strangers, like
my massage therapist.
We are programmed to
follow the rules: You date
first, marry second, and
have kids soon after, thus
completing the façade of “a
happy life.” Well, what if you
date first, move in together
second, open a business
together third, get cancer
fourth and get engaged last?
I would call that a twist of
fate.
Luke and I started dating
in 2003. We opened our
business, The West End
Salon, in 2006. And our
answer to the marriage
question had always been,
“Why? Maybe never!” Our
relationship was solid,
regardless of a ring. Then
cancer came.
I was diagnosed with
late-stage ovarian cancer
in 2007. I was only 27. I
still remember listening to
the recording (record all
commentary concerning
major surgeries in case you
forget what the doctor said!)
of my doctor telling my
family and Luke that I had
ovarian cancer, for which he
had to perform a complete
hysterectomy, and chemo
womensmag.com
Luke and Deandra
would soon be required.
All I could hear on that
tape was Luke crying.
My parents were rattling
off important questions,
but Luke just cried. His
girlfriend, the love of his life
and best friend was deathly
ill.
When they say cancer
changes people, they mean
it. It changes the person
diagnosed, but it also
severely changes the people
who love them.
I have to be honest
and say regardless of our
relationship, I didn’t know
if he would stick around.
Luke is a loyal, genuine man.
But being involved in the
cancer “journey” (more like
a nightmare voyage), as well
as being the caretaker, is a
lot to ask someone when they
have their whole life ahead
of them.
Women’s Magazine.
Photo courtesy of Deandra Trevino
But Luke was behind me
when I fell, ahead of me
when I needed direction, and
beside me when I needed
comfort. It might sound
cliché to say cancer made our
relationship stronger, but the
proof lies ahead.
First, we — including our
130-pound Rottweiler and
bearded dragon — moved
out of our condo and into
my parents’ house for eight
months. Second, despite the
doctor’s words like “We are
just trying to buy you time,”
Luke decided however long
or short my time may be, he
wanted it to be spent with
him — as his wife.
Luke spent two months
secretly searching for the
perfect diamond. Soon, we
were headed to Las Vegas.
Luke proposed at The
Bellagio, on one knee, at a
private table overlooking the
pool. It was almost midnight
and we had just finished a
coffee and a long chat about
how cancer changed both of
our lives.
I would be lying if I said
he proposed, I accepted
with tears in my eyes while
gasping at the ring, and then
he swept me off my feet as
we engaged in a celebratory
kiss. The real version went
like this:
Luke on bended-knee,
tears in his eyes, ring in
hand: “Will you marry me?”
Me: “This is a joke, right?”
Luke, hand shaking and
still on one knee: “No, I love
you. Will you marry me?”
Me: “Are you kidding?!”
Luke, still on knee: “You’re
looking at the ring. Does this
look like I am kidding?”
Me: “You’re kidding me,
right?”
Luke, on sore knee: “I
don’t know if I like your
answer.”
It finally registered with
me. The man I loved more
than anyone in the world
was on one knee with ring in
hand.
Me: “Yes! Yes, of course I
will marry you!”
No doubt, cancer changes
people. Maybe it was the
difficult seven months that
drove him to ask. Maybe it
was the thought that if I was
his wife, he would never lose
me to cancer. Maybe it was
just pure love. Maybe it was
all three.
What I do know is when I
said yes, cancer was kicked
to the back as my heart
sailed to the front.
— By Deandra Trevino, of
Boulder
April 14, 2009 47
The Hats Off to Bal Swan Ball, the latest incarnation of the
preshool’s annual fundraiser, hit the Omni Interlocken Resort
in Broomfield on March 7.

Betsye Feauto Kim Ruger

Holly and Rick Krivjansky Bridget Feauto

Angie Parten with Cory Parten and Nicole Parten

Jane Fouchey and her daughter Amy Reilly

Photos by David Jennings

Kristin McKenzie, left, Ann and Michael Roth Barbara Fammy, left, and Melissa Cain

48 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

 Janet Gonzalez and
Amanda Dunwoody Patrick and Dawn Love

Lindsay Allison, left, Kindra Olson and Clarissa Villarreal Master of Ceremonies, Kim Christiansen

The 2009 Pacesetter Awards held at the Millenium Harvest

House Hotel in Boulder on Feb. 25th.

Photos by Jonathan Castner

Megan Schwartz Marissa Shevins Michelle Carpenter

womensmag.com Women’s Magazine. April 14, 2009 49

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3 FRIDAY 4 SATURDAY 5 SUNDAY 6 MONDAY 8 WEDNESDAY

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50 April 14, 2009 Women’s Magazine. womensmag.com

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