1."There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't cause I thought because I'd be happy alone.

It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love. And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then... it falls apart. Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever." 2."They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. Theyre smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They dont take pictures along the way cause who wants to remember the rest of it? We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. Thats what keeps us climbing. And its worth the pain. Thats the crazy part. Its worth anything." [Season 6 Ep. 17 "Push"] 3.[Burke:] Cristina I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say till death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. Okay, um I am not optimistic. I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. I know. I am a heart man. I take 'em apart. I put 'em back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So of this I am sure you are my partner my lover... my very best friend. My heart my heart - beats for you. And on this day,the day of our wedding, I promise you this I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you... me. 4."Stop for a second, enjoy the beauty, feel the magic, drink it in because it won't last forever. The romance will fade, things will happen, people will change, love will die. But, maybe not today." 5.We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears, and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: When it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it." 6.Practicing medicine doesnt lend itself well to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death every day, were forced to know that life, every minute, is borrowed time. And each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss, somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just dont bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line, to push each loss, as far away as we can." 7."As surgeons, we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best, because too many times, the best doesn't happen. But, every now and then, something extraordinary occurs. And suddenly best-case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then, something amazing happens. And against our better judgment we start to have hope." 8."First, do no harm: Easier said than done. We can take all the oaths in the world, but the fact is most of us do harm all the time. Sometimes, even when were trying to help, we do more harm than good. And then the guilt rears its ugly head. What you do with that guilt, is up to you. Were left with a choice Either let the guilt throw you back into the

behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt, and do your best to move on." 9"The body can be stubborn when it comes to accepting change. The mind holds out hope that the body can be whole again and the mind will always fight for hope, tooth and nail. Until it finds a way of understanding its new reality and accepts that what is gone is gone forever." 10.When we're heading toward an outcome that's too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. And sometimes, the answers we get, just confirms our worst fears. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem. Make you see it in a whole new way. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, you finally find what you were after: the truth. But the truth isn't where it ends. That's just where you begin again. With a whole new set of questions." 11."We enter the world alone, and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise, were in it by ourselves. Strangers, cut off from each other, and we forget just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and for a moment, we feel just a little bit less alone." 12.Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw, the game is in progress, whether we want it to be, or not. So, go ahead, argue with the refs, change the rules cheat a little, take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard. Play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if theres no tomorrow." 13.You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day. Not until its happening. You dont recognize the biggest day of your life. Not until youre right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize theres not enough time because you want to live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days." 14."We dont wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach. We wish because we need help, and were scared, and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish though, because sometimes they come true." 15."Ive heard that its possible to grow up. Ive just never met anyone whos actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things dont go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope." 16.The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. And then there are the choices that matter. Love or hate. To be a hero or to be a coward. To fight or to give in. To live. Or die. Live or die. Thats the important choice. And its not always in our hands." 17."Doesnt matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe thats the point: all the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward, its what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up." 18."As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have

what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And, how to take care of each other. Eventually, we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons, we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes its better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there may be fear but theres also hope." 19.It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad, the thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe. That's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much. 20."A human body is designed to compensate for loss. It adapts, so it no longer needs the thing it can't have. But sometimes, the loss is too great, and the body can't compensate on its own." 21."As babies, we were easy. One cry meant you were hungry, another you were tired. It's only as adults that we become difficult. They start to hire feelings, put up walls. It gets to the point where we don't really know what anyone thinks or feels. Without meaning to, we become masters of disguise." 22.It's one of those things people say. You can move on until you let go of with the past. Letting go is the easy part, it's the moving on that's painful. So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. Things can't stay the same though. At some point you just have to let it go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is. It's the only way we grow." 23."The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you dont kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when youre there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse." 24."Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all." 25."We all think we are going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives." 26."You can seek the advice of others, surround yourself with trusted advisors. But in the end, the decision is always yours and yours alone. And when it's time to act and you're all alone with your back against the wall, the only voice that matters is the one in your head. The one telling you what you already knew. The one that's almost always right." 27."According to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable. We can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone: Angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg, we plead,

we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is just too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair. Until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance. 30.In medical school we have a hundred classes that teach us how to fight off death. And not one lesson in how to go on living." 31."At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them." 32.No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow we never know how our day is going to end up. We prefer to know, of course, what curve balls will be thrown our way. It's the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day. Of life. The people we never expected to show up. The turn of events we never would've chosen for ourselves. All of a sudden, you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be. And it's nice or it takes some getting used to. Still, you know you'll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow. Going over your plans, preparing the lists, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones." 33.Were born, we live, we die. Sometimes not necessarily in that order. We put things to rest, only to have them rise up again. So if death is not the end, what can you count on anymore? Because you sure cant count on anything in life. Life is the most fragile, unstable, unpredictable thing there is. In fact, theres only one thing about life we can be sure of it aint over, till its over." 34.A wise man once said you can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. What he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right, and letting someone in means abandoning the walls you've spent a lifetime building. Of course, the toughest sacrifices are the ones we don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy to pick a side or to measure the potential loss. When that happens, when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bear." 35.They say death is hardest on the living. Its tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes its impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. Its what makes things so bitter sweet. We leave little bits of ourselves behind, little reminders. A lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets. Things to remember us by even when were gone." 36."Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be. The people who suffer the most, are those who don't know what they want." 37."Your life is a gift. Accept it. No matter how screwed up or painful it seems to be." 38."Lightning doesnt often strike twice. Its a once in a lifetime thing. Even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually the pain will go away, the shock will wear off. And you start to heal yourself. To recover from something you never saw coming. But, sometimes the odds are in your favor. If youre in just the right place at just the right

time you can take a helluva hit. And still have a shot at surviving. 39."We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last." 40.At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves." 41.We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear we are not better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths. 42.Theres a little animal in all of us and maybe thats something to celebrate. Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, warmth, a pack to run with. We may feel caged, we may feel trapped, but still as humans we can find ways to feel free. We are each others keepers, we are the guardians of our own humanity and even though theres a beast inside all of us, what sets us apart from the animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love. And against all odds, against all instinct, we evolve." 43."The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We cant pretend we havent been told. Weve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep todays possibility under tomorrows rug until we cant anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves, what Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying." 44."Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there is the kind of pain you cant ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. We anesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it, and for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it." 45."Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know? Or do we step forward to something new? Its hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time, after time. So we have to remember, sometimes the most important history is the history were making today." 46."We all want to grow up. Were desperate to get there. Grab all the opportunities we can to live. Were so busy trying to get out of that mess, we dont think about the fact that its

going to be cold out there. Really freaking cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, were standing there alone." 47.Just when we think weve figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong." 48."Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isnt just about being tough. Its about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You dont have to be tough every minute of every day. Its okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when its the best thing you can possibly do as long as you choose your moments wisely." 50."Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it's this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state's of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don't recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it's been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar." 51."It's a common belief that positive thinking leads to a happier healthier life. As children we are told to smile, be cheerful, and put on a happy face. As adults we are told to look on the bright side, to make lemonade, and see glasses as half full. Sometimes reality can get in the way of our ability to act the happy part though. Youre hope can fail, boyfriends can cheat, friends can disappoint. It's in these moments, when you just want to get real, drop the act, and be your true scared unhappy self." 52."Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop." 53.Time flies. Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us wants is more time. Time to get up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time. 54."A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. Youd think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I dont know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, Id say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if youre wrong? What if youre making a mistake you cant undo? (...) 55.The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We cant pretend we havent been told. Weve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometimes, we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep todays possibility under tomorrows rug, until we cant anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves, what Benjamin Franklin meant: That knowing, is better than wondering. That waking, is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying."

56.Meredith:] It makes absolutely no sense to try to be happy in a world that's such a horrible place. [Dr. Wyatt] Yes. [Meredith:] What? [Dr. Wyatt] Yes, horrible things do happen. Happiness in the face of all of that that's not the goal. Feeling the horrible and knowing that you're not gonna die from those feelings, that's the point. 57."I had a terrible day. We say it all the time. A fight with the boss, the stomach flu, traffic. Thats what we describe as terrible when nothing terrible is happening. 58.When the really terrible things happen, we start begging a god we dont believe in to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesnt it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it have helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives?" 59."Bones break. Organs burst. Flesh tears. We can sew the flesh. Repair the damage, ease the pain. But when life breaks down, when we break down, theres no science, no hard and fast rules. We just have to feel our way through." 60."It's the pressure we put on ourselves that's the hardest to bear. The pressure to be better than we are. The pressure to be better than we think we can be. It never ever lets up. It just builds and builds and builds." 61."Dying changes everything. There is the emotional fall out, sure. But there's also the practical stuff. Who's going to do your job? Who's going to take care of your family? The only good thing for you is you don't have to worry about it. People you never knew would be living in your house, working your job... the world just keeps on going without you." 62.You can't prepare for a sudden impact. You can't brace yourself. It just hits you. Out of nowhere. And suddenly, the life you knew before is over. Forever." 63.No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away whether we like it, or not. But, heres the truth about the truth: It hurts. So we lie." 64."Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then theres the kind of pain we cant ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt." 65."At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate." 66."We all remember the bedtime stories of our childhoods. The shoe fits Cinderella. The frog turns into a prince. Sleeping Beauty is awakened with a kiss. Once upon a time. And then they lived happily ever after. Fairy tales. The stuff of dreams. The problem is, fairy tales dont come true. Its the other stories. The ones that begin with dark and stormy nights and end in the unspeakable." 67."Change We dont like it, we fear it. But we cant stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesnt, is

lying." 68.This is a place where horrible things happen. You were right to go. You're probably escaping disaster. Look at me. I practically grew up here, and you're right, it's hurt me in ways I'll probably never get over. I have a lot of memories of people. People I've lost forever. But I have a lot of other memories too. This is the place where I fell in love. The place where I found my family. This is where I learned to be a doctor. Where I learned how to take responsibility for someone else's life. And it's the place where I met you. So I figure this place has given me as much as it's taken away from me. I've lived here as much as I've survived here. It just depends on how I look at it. I'm gonna choose to look at it that way, and remember you that way. Hope you're good. Bye." 69."Adapt or die. As many times as we've heard it, the lesson doesn't get any easier. The problem is, we're human. We want more than just to survive. We want love, we want success. We wanna be the best that we can be. So we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels... like death." 70."Biology says that we are who we are from birth, that our DNA is set in stone, unchangeable. Our DNA doesnt account for all of us, though. Were human. Life changes us. We develop new traits, become less territorial. We stop competing. We learn from our mistakes. We face our greatest fears. For better or worse, we find ways to become more than our biology. The risk, of course, is that we can change too much to the point, we dont recognize ourselves." 71."When youre little, night time is scary, because there are monsters hiding right under the bed. When you get older, the monsters are different. Self doubt loneliness regret. And though you may be older and wiser, you still find yourself scared of the dark." 72."I dont know anyone who isnt haunted by something. Or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet, our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page. Or, put an old story to rest. Finally, finally to rest." 73."No one believes their life will turn out just kind of okay. (...) We all think were going to be great. And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations arent met. But, sometimes, our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expe cted simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. 74.You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady standing still. The expected is just the beginning. 75.The unexpected is what changes our lives." 76."Who gets to determine when the old ends, and the new begins? Its not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. Its an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. Ideally, it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. Whats important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But its also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to."