Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most

commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments
into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each
comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but
remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also
need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is
limited. Thank you for using WritePoint.





Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most
commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds
comments into your [Eliminate second person (you, your) in academic
documents and avoid addressing the reader directly. Use third-person pronouns
(he, she, it, they)] paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style.
Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is
appropriate for your [second person] paper, but remember that your [second
person] instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You [second
person] will also need to review your [second person] own citations and
references since [Check word choice--"Since" is more precise in referring to time
("after that"); otherwise use "because"] WritePoint capability in this area is
limited. [The passive voice is a form of "be" (is) and a participle (limited). Over-
use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Try
to use the active voice most often, e.g., the student completed the paper on time.
The passive voice version--The paper was completed on time by the student--See
eCampus > Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar &
Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] Thank you for using WritePoint.



Regarding the two provided paragraphs numbers four and five; paragraph
number four was definitely the more effective of the two. Paragraph five had a poor
topic sentence and is filled [Passive voice] with opinions rather than facts. It also
seemed the writer [If this means yourself, avoid referring to yourself in the third
person; if this is a personal account, use the first person (I, me, my)] was writing
out of anger over personal experience, which made the flow of words and sentences
seem scattered. The conclusion was poor as well, not offering any advice or hope, just
an angry stoppage. Paragraph four was almost the complete opposite. Number four had
a very strong topic sentence and was filled [Passive voice] with supporting facts
throughout. The sentence flow was good and filled with good information on the subject.
There is ["There is" is an awkward phrase if "there" is not clearly a location] one
problem with paragraph four; the paragraph contained no concluding sentence. In my
personal opinion, this paragraph didnt really [Clearer writing suggestion--"real" or
"really" means "existing in actuality"--it adds little to the meaning (and using it to
mean "big," "very," or "genuine" is slang); replace it with a more expressive
word] need a strong concluding sentence. The paragraph contained all the facts that I
would have required on the subject and needed no tying up at the end. Although,
[Remove comma after "Although"] having [Clearer writing suggestion--"having"
as a transitive verb is vague. Reconsider the sentence using "possessing,"
"acquiring," "developing," etc. Often "having" can simply be deleted] no
concluding sentence would still be considered [Passive voice] an error. So, [Remove
comma after "So"] my conclusion is that paragraph four was more effective and well
written and the material was easier to retain.