A story of triumph over manic depression

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Life After Being an MD A story of triumph over manic depression by Suzy Hoseus, N.D. From Living Nutrition Magazine vol. 17 http://www.livingnutrition.com I like to catch people's attention and say I used to be an MD. In an odd way, I feel like I earned that title via long hours with no sleep, anxiety and stress, and firsthand experience with pharmaceuticals. Ive had more experience in hospitals than Id ever care to remember. I was a manic-depressive (get it ? MD) for well over 20 years. Now I prefer to refer to myself as an ND. People arent so familiar with this abbreviation. They say, "ND, whats an ND?" If I say a naturopath, they respond, "Youre a what?" I feel like I need to reassure them that Im not a psychopath! I guess thats my paranoia from being a MD for all of those years. Instead, rather than mention any credentials, Ill say "Suzy Hoseus, No Depression." I'm finished with labels, diagnoses, or other medical mindsets. In writing this article, I'm seeking closure of this chapter in my life. When I began my studies and practices of natural health, many were skeptical. My mother for example shared, "I wont believe youre past this (the bipolar) until five years has passed." In May 2005, I will have reached this milestone. I no longer suffer with insomnia, mood swings, hypoglycemia, or for that matter any other symptom associated with the disease. I declare myself free of the title, the fear, and the stigma. I recognize how fortunate I am; there are many that are neither so advantaged nor determined. I am aware of what is involved in having a major mental illness and know how devastating it an be. That's why I'm sharing my story. No one can understand the turmoil of having a mental illness except those who have gone through it themselves. My first episode occurred when I was 18 years old: severe depression after the deaths of my beloved sister and stepfather. There were other traumatic events that year, including the suicide deaths of two classmates and the loss of two other friends in car accidents. At the time, my mother and I were consumed with grief. My symptoms of depression were classic: lethargy, major weight loss, suicidal tendencies, months of near-sleeplessness, and listlessness. To say I had a chemical imbalance seems an understatement. The intense emotional stress was compounded by the extensive dental work I had done one year prior. Its hard to fathom but I had ten root canals and ten caps all done improperly and all with amalgam fillings. I was a grief-stricken, mercury-poisoned, ibuprofen-addicted high school graduate. No one ever made the connection between the state of my health and the condition of my teeth, the amount of stress and trauma in my life and the mental illness that ensued. Instead, it was determined I had a chemical imbalance of the brain, a genetic disorder, and thus a condition I would have for the rest of my life. How far I have come from these clichd, allopathic expressions! I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until my third year of cycling. The six month cycles of hyper-mania and then depression became predictable and more intense. When I was 21 I experienced full-blown mania; my condition was given a label and lithium was prescribed. Even then, the prognosis wasnt good. The staff at the general hospital told my mother that there was nothing more they could do for me and transferred me to the state hospital. After several weeks in the psychiatric unit, my mother was told I would need to be permanently institutionalized. We were also told that I would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. If we were to believe the prognosis, my future seemed quite bleak. Eventually I was released from the state hospital, heavily medicated and with tremors. This was the first of a series of traumatic hospitalizations. In my twenty years of experience with a major mental illness, I became disturbingly familiar with the shortcomings of what we refer to as our current mental "health" system. Its hard to look back and honestly, I'd rather not. Theres a great deal of humiliation, embarrassment, and trials associated with being bipolar for twenty years. The fear and lack of trust in oneself is perhaps the worst impediment. I know of several people who have taken their lives. My heart goes out to them. People just dont understand the consistent torment that comes with mental illness. Suicide doesnt seem so extreme when youre in the midst of such humiliating, consuming darkness. There would be many episodes to expound on: paranoid psychosis after my son was born, isolated lockups with my wrists and ankles in restraints, forced drug injections, and the guilt from the pain that was experienced by all who were involved. Those experiences now almost seem surreal. It took me many years to shake the false thoughts, misconceptions, and the assumptions from others, that accompany a major mental illness. At age 38 I was told that I was an excellent candidate for colon cancer, and I started to wake up. I had been aware of the importance of nutrition for several years, yet every time I changed my diet, there was another bipolar episode and hospitalization. Thus, the doctor's prognosis seemed to make sense. This happened on several occasions. I was never able to confidently take control of my life until I learned
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about natural health and Hygiene. At this point, I had to examine my beliefs, my mental habits, and my diet and lifestyle choices. I also had to find a safe place to heal as well as proper support. It was then that I vowed to make life-giving decisions. I set out on the path of faith and Ive yet to stray from the journey. How does someone recover from major mental illness? I was always taught that I would be bipolar all of my life and that the sooner I accepted it, the better. For many years, I believed taking medication was a lifelong sentence. This wasnt true. If I had continued to make poor, unhealthy choices I may have continued to need medications or herbs, and yet, I chose differently. I chose to make life-giving choices not only in the foods I ate, but also in music and television, my environment, the relationships I engaged in and in all my daily habits. Too many people, thinking they can go off medication cold turkey, meet with unfortunate results. It is very difficult to go off medication successfully without proper education, support, and positive lifestyle changes. Often, when medications are eliminated, symptoms will get worse before they get better. Special precautions need to be established when one eliminates drug usage. Compassionate support, stress reduction, and time allowance are but a few of many variables necessary for successful withdrawal. My mentor, Joel Robbins, always says, "Health is God-given; disease is something we earn!" I say health is something that given the proper components occurs naturally; we are the ones who make it complicated. When were sick, we think we need to see a professional, take some kind of miracle drug, or label a process as some type of disease. Were conditioned to respond this way rather than sleep for a few days, fast, or take measures to clean out our systems. Weve become so impressed by expert opinion that we have lost touch with the innate intelligence within us. Were not able to listen within and sense what our bodies truly need. Learning to tune in this way, just as changing ones diet and lifestyle habits, is a process. When people find out about my diet, for example, I have to reassure them that I've been transitioning onto this and studying nutrition for well over ten years. There was a lot I needed to learn. Many times, as I mentioned earlier, Id alter my diet, get off medications, and end up back in the hospital. I had no idea how my body worked or what a healing crisis was. When I graduated from the College of Natural Health, I was much better equipped to successfully go off the medications. I'm the first to admit it wasnt easy. Detoxification can be downright brutal. The education and support I received was paramount to my success. *** So what did it take for me to become healthy? I had to recognize what Ive termed, the 3R principle. It deals with the concepts of respect, responsibilityand renewal. Respect is the quality of caring for oneself and others. Its recognizing that the body is not something we can take for granted. I had to respect how sick I had made myself and likewise respect the necessary efforts to get it back to health. The bodys main priority is to survive. Pain and symptoms are the bodys way to eliminate and correct any threats and damage. Its similar to a young child learning to respect the consequences of touching a hot stove. Unfortunately, most people have become desensitized to the consequences of their choices and even have difficulty correlating their symptoms to their actions. The healthier I become, the more I experience the effects of certain choices. For example, eight months after I changed my diet, I ate a piece of pizza and had an immediate reaction: my nose ran and my throat ached. I knew right away that I didnt want to experience that again. That was the last piece of pizza Ive eaten in over four years! Likewise, I had to respect the consequences of other harmful substances such as sugar, nicotine, processed foods, caffeine, dairy, and meat. These substances are all toxic to the body, Yet, if youre not able to notice any discomfort after ingesting them, this suggests desensitization. Responsibility translates to the ability to choose positive, life-giving responses. In order to get off medication, I had to take responsibility for ALL of my choices. Every decision I make throughout the day is my choice. This includes my thoughts and what I do with my time. The question is whether a given choice enhances or detracts from my quality of life. I believe it is a fundamental responsibility to make life-enhancing choices and yet I realize this is not always easy. This is why I like to break down the word responsibility into response ability. (I first saw this term in Stephen Coveys book,The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.) I believe that as we seek truth in our lives, we become more able to discern the best choice for us in any given situation. Renewal is the outcome of applying truth. We can understand this when we consider a cut. If its properly cared for, it heals in no time. If its left dirty or unprotected, it might not heal. People who are youthful and full of vitality typically heal much faster than the aged, whose bodies are more devitalized and usually more toxic. The beauty of Hygienic living is that no matter what the chronological age, the healing process speeds up as life-enhancing practices are implemented. Healing is a natural process which the body is always striving to accomplish and complete. There are no magic bullets when it comes to healing. The quick fixes our society has adopted are futile and potentially destructive. True health is achieved only through one very simple equation: Increased Energy - Stress = Whole Health. Increased vitality is derived from true energy sources: exercise, personal hygiene, pure water, rest and plenty of sleep, a proper attitude and outlook, sunshine, fresh air, and proper nutrition. In our society, weve become overly dependent on false energy sources: caffeine, sugar, nicotine, aggression, etc. In order to attain whole health, we need to avoid such stressors and learn how to skillfully manage lifes daily challenges. Unremitting stress creates disease. As we increase true energy sources and decrease stress, we establish the environment both internally and externally for true healing.

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Suzy Hoseus, N.D. and her husband Michael live in Lexington, Kentucky with their children, Benjamin, Leah, and a new arrival in June 2005. Currently, Suzy sees clients and teaches natural health and food preparation classes such as Healthy Holiday Eating. Her latest project is a book titled, Called to Health: A Simple Equation to Live By. While home schooling their children, Suzy and Michael raise money to launch Life Learning Ministries, a nonprofit residential and educational facility for emotionally wounded adults, children, and teens. Donations and/or questions regarding its growth and development can be addressed to HOEY680@aol.com or call 859-543-8276. http://www.livingnutrition.com Follow Ups: Re:A story of triumph over manic depression Maeve 17:34:04 06/04/06 (2)

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