TRI-VOLLEY TALKIES

Cost: Priceless HACIENDAS HIGHLY IRREGULAR DAILY Edition 13, July 30 2013 Printed At: Commons Press

- The Only Remaining Correspondent

Creekside Park: After a year-long deliberation by the core

committee of TPS with various dog owners, a conclusion was finally reached to ban dogs in the park during the evenings.

DOGS BANNED IN CREEKSIDE PARK: ABHI RETURNS

The ACC had received an informal complaint from Abhi last year that puppies were giving him troubled times in the ground after a chase by a young one left him gasping for breath. Following this, the ACC started thinking of solution but were too busy playing and eventually forgot about it. With no response and the puppies eventually growing up to become huge dogs, Abhi resorted to a silent protest. He stopped coming to play regularly. It is also rumoured that as a mark of protest Abhi was always playing the song "who let the dogs out" loudly at his house. With no response and the puppies that had haunted Abhi eventually growing into huge dogs, he resorted to protest by not coming to play regularly.

Taking cognizance of the situation, the ACC delegated the mediation work to yet another old-timer- Supal, who is known for his shrewdness. Taking this opportunity, Supal went on 2 week vacation on TPS payroll and roamed all around Northern California. On returning, he pulled couple of strings here and there and brought the ban into effect. Following the assurance and prompt response of ACC, Abhi returned to Creekside park this past week. However, the return was short lived and within 2 days he went missing again. Rumours are surfacing that he is going on a Satyagraha to ban Cats as well in the park. Our reporters are following every action he takes as it may only be a matter of days before Cats are also banned in the park.

From the archives-TVT Ed 8

NEWS ROUND UP

TPS Core Committee announced a weekday internal tournament starting in August. With this, the long drought of tournament has come to an end. Unofficial sources say that the tournament may probably be named as Grasshoppers. Titans, the TPS flagship team has been renamed and disbanded, disbanded and renamed to Timex. This comes after yet another year of dismal performances in external tournaments where they struggled to get past the semi-final stage. Agreeing that their time was not good, the Core committee decided to disband the team and also rename it. The performance inspired Vijay, aka Rajni to write a movie script. The only time Titans won anything was in Spikerzz 2, that too because of the rescue by the Silent Killers said an ACC member. Srini PM, 1 month after returning from India, started sending emails about distributing the sweets he had brought with him. However they never were distributed. Apparently, he wanted to dispose off the old sweets but then decided to have them all to himself. The FSEG (Food and Sweets Eating Group) of TPS has taken serious note of this and sent a written note to the Core Committee seeking action.

INSTAREPLY BANNED FROM TPS AFTER ACCUSATIONS OF SPAM

-Special Correspondent on Leave
Creekside Park: The highly touted Volleyball response software,
INstareply, has hit a snag within 2 months of the beta version being released. Its largest client, TPS, has issued a ban on it with immediate effect. The TPS Core committee had convened for an emergency meeting following some irrevelant INstareplies received by the group and decided unanimously to ban the software citing security reasons. It has to be noted that the same Core Committee had approved of INstareply in its previous governing council meeting. So what happened in two months time? asked our reporter in the press meet organized by the core committee. We were getting lot of mails with nothing more than just IN. That too for every email! This was leading to lot of meaningless spam and could have potentially turned out to be a security issue. Hence we decided to stop the use of INstareply instantly. We request the members to co-operate with us. Alternatively, we encourage people to use telegram to send their mails instead. Said the CMD.

However, there has been a mixed response for the ban from the TPS members. The inventor of the product, Surya, was not happy with the decision. I want to provide some very harsh words for the Core committee. But I dont have the dictionary with me right now. So I will tell those words tomorrow. He said. Another member, who was visibly satisfied and jubilant at the decision said, Thank God! They did the right decision. The other day I sent an email stating 1BHK house for rent and I immediately got an IN reply from many people. I was shocked. There are other such instances too. Sources say that the Core Committee is monitoring the mailboxes these days for INstareply usage and anybody found using it will be taken to the TPS court of justice, aka, Creekside Park and made to set up the net every day for a months time.

OPEN SPACE

READERS WRITE
Kaliya: sardar.. che (6) aadmi the.

-Vijay Reddyvari, aka Rajini from Cloud 9

This is the aftermath of the Titans performance at Spandana tournament. Rajinis anger in words.

Gabbar : Hmmmm.... Kitane aadmi the?

Gabbar: hmmm.. che (6) aadmi ? ...woh che (6) the aur tum DUS (10) .. phir bhi waapas aagayeye . khaali haath.. kya samaz kar aaye the?.. Spikers bahuth khush honge sabasi dega kyoon? DHIKKAR HAI ... Arre O Saambha... kitna inaam rakkhe hai Spandana ham par? Sambha: Poore zero dollar.. Gabbar: Soona.. poore zero dollar.. aur yeh inaam isliye hai ke yaha se pachas pachas kos door koi bhi city me jab koi Volleyball keltha hai....tho use kaha jatha hai, achcha khel nahi tho TPS Spikers aaa jayenge,ye TPS kaa naam poora mitti me milaay diye..iski sajaa milegi.. baraabar milegi..( ek aadmi se revolver leta hai aur usse poochhta hai) kitni goli hai iske andar? Aadmi : (woh chauk jaata hai) Gabbar: KITNI GOLI HAI? Aadmi : Chhe sardaar (six) Gabbar: (khud se) chhe ? ( jor se) chhe goli.. chhe goli hai iske andar.. chhe goli aur aadmi DUS (10)... bahot naa insaafi hai yeh...( char goli ADD kartha hai) ab theek hai. haa ab theek hai.. ab iske DUS (10) khaano me goli hai .... ab ham issko ghumaege....(...) ab kaha goli hai kaha nahi? .. hamko nahi pata .. hamko kuchh nahi pataa. Dekhe kisse kya milta hai?

FROM THE EDITORS BROKEN DESK

We are back with one more mind-numbing and absolutely useless edition of TVT, on time! I have to say, my reporters did a great job even when on vacation to provide me with the stories. Unfortunately, TPS is going back on its promise honor the dealing we have had with them for being their exclusive mouthpiece. This is bringing upon us lot of hardships, especially, lack of pages in MS Word. We are still in talks with the ACC to get my broken desk repaired as the first step. Other things. As promised in the previous edition, I have included an Open Space section for you to write down whatever bad you want to tell about us. But make sure you keep it to yourself. If it reaches our office, we will promptly discard them to the dustbins. We also have brought out another section with this edition, Readers Write. This is an opportunity for you readers to get yourselves published in this highly prestigious publication. So, just shoot in your scribbling to Editor-In-Cheap, TVT Headquarters, Hacienda Commons. Until next time, At Logo!