Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
Emotional Baggage
A Womans Guide To
Living The Abundant Life
Gladys Famoriyo
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy
Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale
House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois.
Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James
Authorized Version, which is in the public domain. Scripture quotations marked
NKJV are taken from the Holy Bible, New King James Version, copyright 1979,
1980, 1982. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee.
Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message, copyright by
Eugene H. Peterson. Published by Nav Press, Colorado Springs, Colorado, in association with Alive Communications, Colorado Springs, Colorado.
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Dedication
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Acknowledgments
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Contents
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .xi
Part 1 - Preparation For Your Journey To Emotional Wholeness .1
Chapter One Whats All The Fuss About? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3
Who Is This Book For? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11
Expect the Extraordinary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16
Chapter Two Mental Shifts:
Mental Preparation For Your Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
The Five Principles To Living An Abundant Life . . . . . . . . . . . . .19
Principle One: Get God Involved Right From The Start . . . . . . .19
Principle Two: Learn To Connect With Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
Principle Three: Take Time To Develop Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
Principle Four: Dont Settle Where You Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24
Principle Five: Focus On Your Purpose, Not Your Agenda! . . . . .25
Chapter Three - Spiritual Shifts:
Spiritual Preparation For Your Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29
Will You Answer The Call? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
Praying Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33
Praying Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34
Part 2 Understanding The Female Hybrid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35
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CONTENTS
Enlightening Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97
Part 4 The Origins Of The Female Hybrid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .99
Chapter Eight - In Search Of Eden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .101
Gods Original Specification For Humankind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .103
The Spiritual Being . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .104
The Emotional Being . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105
The Physical Being . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
Chapter Nine - The Birth Of The Female Hybrid . . . . . . . . . . .109
Journaling/Enlightening Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .111
Chapter Ten Modern Dilemmas Of A Female Hybrid . . . . . .113
Life Situations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115
The Making Of A Female Hybrid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .116
Consequences Of Being A Female Hybrid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .118
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .118
The Elastic Band Stretch/Shrink Theory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .119
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124
Praying Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125
Part 5 The Propagation Of The Female Hybrid Problem . . . . .127
Chapter Eleven The Never-Ending Cycles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129
Principle One: Get God Involved Right From The Start . . . . . .129
Enlightening Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .131
Principle Two: Learn To Connect With Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132
Principle Three: Take Time To Develop Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . .136
Principle Four: Dont Settle Where You Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .138
Principle Five: Focus On Your Purpose, Not Your Agenda! . . . .139
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .142
Chapter Twelve Modern Traps Of Deception . . . . . . . . . . . . .145
The Modern Eve Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146
The Look-Good/Feel-Good Notion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .148
Everyones A Guru! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .150
The One-Solution-Fits-All Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .151
Working For God Versus Walking With God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .152
Issues In The Pews . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .156
Journaling Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .158
Part 6 Overcoming The Female Hybrid Problem . . . . . . . . . . . .159
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Introduction
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Since childhood, I have always been one who strove to be the best
me ever. From a tender age, I was extremely optimistic and motivated by the fact that the sky was not the limit and that I could soar
beyond the skies if I wanted to. In my world, anything was possible.
This is a belief I still hold onto fervently.
As you may appreciate, life as a youngster is not usually as complicated as life as an adult. So childhood gave me the opportunity to focus
on excelling in two specific areas: spirituality and academics.
Developing my spirituality consisted of building my relationship with
God by reading my kiddies book of Bible stories, praying, going to
Church, dreaming of what Heaven would be like and striving to make
sure that I made it there. As for my academics, I soared both in my normal school and Sunday school, as I gulped down all there was to know.
Along the way, I won quite a few competitions and awards.
You might be wondering how I became extremely optimistic and
believed the impossible could exist at such an early age. Well, Ill
share a secret with you. It did not happen overnight. I wouldnt say
I was born that way. However, my beliefs, attitudes and behaviors
were ultimately fuelled by rummaging through my very first full version Bible given to me around the age of 7 or 8, digesting its contents
and setting high standards for my life based on the stories, principles, promises and truths I gleaned from it.
As far as I was concerned (and still am), if it is in the Bible, it is
there for me to partake of. When God said, Nothing is impossible to
those who believe, I believed it. When He said, I can do all things
through Christ Jesus, I believed that too. When He said, Faith
without works [i.e., action] is dead, I coupled action with my faith.
And the list goes on.
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INTRODUCTION
I guess you can say it all started when I believed and digested some
big truths and principles until they became a part of me. As a child, I
found it a simple process, but little did I know that what I was actually doing by fully embracing Gods Word was taking steps to living a fulfilled, prosperous and purposeful life which God promised us all.
One of the biblical truths I ingested was the fact that Jesus
Christ came to give us life an abundant life (John 10:10). Therefore,
as far as I was concerned being the perpetual optimist and big
thinker this principle was meant to encompass every facet of my
life every nook and cranny of my tripartite being (spirit, soul and
body). So as I grew up, I endeavored to ensure that an abundant life
became a reality for me.
Some years later, I blossomed into a young lady. Still holding on
to my biblical truths, promises and principles, I continued to excel in
my spirituality. My focus on my academic life soon switched to my
professional life.
Believing anything was possible meant that the notion of something being impossible to achieve or that anything could separate me
from Gods plan for my life simply did not exist. No matter what happened, I held on to Gods Word. After all, He is almighty God to whom
all power belongs.
This mindset helped me a great deal. Determination, perseverance
and enthusiasm also became good friends of mine in the early days of
my journey in life. I must admit that hanging out with these friends
paid off especially in those times when my reality couldnt have been
any further from my desires. And so this was how life was for me.
Im sure youve experienced a similar thing. As we make our way
through our formative years, we go through life experiences and circumstances that complicate our lives. Some good. Some bad. And
some downright ugly. Sometimes we may pick up and internalise
some beliefs, attitudes and behaviours that dont benefit us. It may
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INTRODUCTION
was actually considered fluffy, touchy-feely stuff or even nonessential to some people. Could you imagine approaching your boss
to pay for you to attend a training course aimed at developing and
nurturing your soul to improve your personal effectiveness and performance in the workplace? Though your boss might be swayed by
words like improving personal effectiveness and performance, the
bottom line is the word soul might just put him/her off.
Instead, we focused on other aspects of our lives leaving behind
the care, nurture and development of this integral part of ourselves.
I am not sure why this happened, but a number of factors come to
mind, such as an unhealthy awareness of ones self, denial, ignorance, disregard for the emotional symptoms we displayed or lack of
understanding about how to deal with our emotional life.
Another possible reason was the fact that we were too busy
sprinting through life, not slowing down and/or being still enough to
catch up with our selves. I discovered that some of us used our sprinting technique to evade dealing with our emotional issues. So little or
no emphasis was placed on nurturing our souls.
When a perturbing situation arose, instead of dealing with it, a
number of us simply added it to the other stuff we were already carrying around with us. It was so much easier to brush it underneath
a rug hoping no one would see the baggage we were amassing. After
all, this was the trendy thing to do.
And woe betide you, Sister, if people were to find out about your
emotional issues it might just change their perception of you! The
last thing a super-spiritual highflying Sister needed was people thinking she was weak, incapable or a failure not being able to handle her
own business. (This was true when I got on the fast-lane treadmill and
its just as true to this day. If you dont believe me, try spending some
time watching TV. Havent we made a multi-billion entertainment
industry by focusing on other peoples negative life experiences and/or
inabilities to handle correctly the content of their souls?)
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INTRODUCTION
of having one or the other, but of having all that the Father has
stored up for us.
Do you realise that God can actually handle providing you with
all these things at the same time? At times, thinking as mere mortals, we feel we cannot handle all these things at once; but God can
help us to be effective managers of all the members of our beings.
In this day and time, when we are constantly on the go with our todo lists growing at phenomenal rates and not having enough time in the
day to get everything done, we are compelled to look after our emotional well-being. Better still, we must look out for any negative emotions,
symptoms or excess baggage that are indicative of all not being well.
Have you noticed that a lot of our battles take place within our
souls, i.e., our minds, wills and emotions? We all experience new
challenges on a day-to-day basis not to mention the conflicts we
are still carrying around with us from the past.
If we neglect to take care of our souls, which are so vulnerable, it
can hinder us from living the purposeful life God has ordained.
Failing to do this may even become a barrier to our accomplishing
those things we ardently seek such as finding fulfilment, joy, a successful career and/or business, marrying a good man, living in marital bliss, raising godly children, accomplishing a lifelong goal or living a meaningful life.
As I mentioned before, as far back as I can remember one of my
ultimate goals in life has been to live the abundant, rich, plentiful
life. However, somehow I lost track of this as I got caught up with
life. As you know, I did not start off that way, as I was intent on living Gods Word to the max. But one day I found myself battered and
bruised by the very life I was pursuing. And boy, did all that stuff
take its toll on me! Why?
Because somewhere down the line, I had taken a wrong turn. I
had steered off track and wandered far from living the prosperous
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INTRODUCTION
even the strongest among us. Simply put, there has to be me time
some downtime to deal with negative emotions that have cropped
up over time. In addition to that, we need time to deal with the life
situations constantly thrown at us, as well as taking time to deal
with the emotional baggage we may have been carrying around.
Guess what? This is your me time. Id like you to consider this
book a health resort or spa for your soul. So put your feet up and get
ready for change!
Maybe youre wondering, So how do I deal with all of this emotional stuff you have been going on about? Or maybe you are wondering what emotional stuff I am rattling on about.
Great questions! They show that your heart is open. Moreover,
God had you in mind when He commissioned this book. As you read
on, youll find some valuable lessons I learned that set me on my personal journey to emotional wholeness. These are based on my indepth search of Gods Word for principles, truths, strategies and
promises for everyday living. Regardless of your background or
beliefs, these are applicable to every human on earth. Moreover,
Gods Word has not changed. It still has the power to bring healing,
deliverance and restoration for your soul.
Are you ready to be free from the emotional entanglements that
have held you back or tripped you up time and time again? Are you
keen to be the woman God has created you to be as opposed to a
hybrid version of you? Do you desire to live the abundant life you
know you were created to live? If you answered yes to any one of
these, lets begin the journey.
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PART 1
Preparation For Your
Journey To Emotional Wholeness
Chapter One
Whats All The Fuss About?
spiritually, financially
or emotionally, our
baggage faithfully
showed up too!
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JOURNALING MOMENT
Write down what you are hoping this book will support you in
accomplishing.
Write down the areas of your life that you believe need to be
restored. Use this section to note the emotional baggage you have been
carrying.
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Chapter Two
Mental Shifts: Mental
Preparation For Your Journey
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No aspect of your
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Chapter Three
Spiritual Shifts: Spiritual
Preparation For Your Journey
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ladys Famoriyo is an inspirational writer, international speaker and coach who has a passion to see people,
especially highflying women and leaders, create a life
of lasting success coupled with balance and purpose. Gladys
has over a decades experience in developing female corporate highfliers and business owners. In recent years, she has travelled nationally and internationally, developing managers and leaders both in
blue chip companies and huge organizations in a vast number of
industries. Gladys is also the CEO of Success Partners LTD, an international training and development corporation which provides pioneering services and products for individuals, groups and organizations. Gladys speaks to audiences worldwide with her thought-provoking, life-changing and inspiring messages.
To sign up for Gladys inspiring eZine, eWoman, or to get information about her inspiring events, services and products, log onto
www.gladysf.com.
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