Khatam Sharif

In Honour of the Venerable

Ummul Muminin

Sayyidah Maymuna
O the wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women (33:32)

Ya Ummul Muminin, what is the reason behind Allah proclaiming in the Quran that you and the rest of the noble azwaj al-mutaharat are unlike other women? O my Son, this is a unique honour granted to us by the Lord of creation. In His infinite wisdom and mercy, He has distinguished us from the rest of mankind because of the relationship with our beloved, and seal of prophets, Sayyiduna Rasulullah . Rasulullah once said about us, Allah chose my companions. We are truly blessed for being selected from all of creation to accompany and support them through this relationship. If you recall the time when Thawban came to Rasulullah asking about the day of judgement, he was asked what he had done to prepare for it. Thawban replied that he had not prepared anything for that day, but was asking because in this life he was fortunate to be in their blessed presence, and what would be his situation in the hereafter. You can imagine that this was a great worry for many of the companions, as they were from many different tribes and families, in some instances, from other areas and nations. However, because they all had great love for Rasulullah , they desired to be close to them in the next life. It was after this that Jibrail brought the Quranic verse, One who obeys God and the Messenger is the friend of the Prophets, saints, martyrs, and the righteous ones to whom God has granted His favors. They are the best friends that one can have.(4:69) O my Son, after this ayah was revealed, there came such a great joy in Madinah Sharif, which was seen on every companions face. Rasulullah explained how this meant that in the hereafter a person will be with those whom he loves. This news confirmed what everyone desired, that we would be with Rasulullah in the hereafter.

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However, even beyond this is a unique maqam granted to the Mothers of the Faithful. Although the Sahabah will have access to Rasullulah , we have been honoured with not just access to Rasulullah but granted to be physically in paradise with them, just as we were in life. This companionship is forever and is not one which breaks with death. It is for this reason that whilst other women who become widows in their life are permitted to re-marry, but we are forbidden. It was haram for us to re-marry after Rasulullah passed away as we will always remain to be their wives, even in paradise.

Just as Prophet hood was sealed with Rasulullah , as the last wife in that household you also completed the collective noble qualities of the Mothers of the Faithful. A Quranic ayah was revealed indicating Allahs acceptance of your marriage. Even Sayyidah Aishah has described you as the most considerate and mindful of all relationships saying, She is the most pious amongst us, and the kindest to kith and kin. O my Son, each and every one of the Mothers of the Faithful possesses great and noble qualities. Sayyidah Khadijah was a great support for Rasulullah during the time in Makkah Sharif, and the noble lineage of Rasulullah is only from her blessed children. Likewise, each wife had such unique characteristics and qualities which are examples for others to follow. It is Sayyidah Aishahs kindness that she compliments my piety, but you only have to look at her life to realise the highest standards that she herself upholds. I remember once when she was keeping a nafl fast and on that very same day she received one hundred thousand dhiram. She gave the wealth to her maid and instructed her to distribute it amongst the poor in Madinah Sharif. In the evening she had nothing in her home with which she could break her fast. This waqiah alone puts her own piety in to perspective. It would be correct to say that of the wives, all of us put together did not possess as much knowledge as Sayyidah Aishah did by herself. She has transmitted more Hadith Sharif than any of us. It is no wonder then that scholars have acknowledged that if it was not for Sayyidah Aisha , you would not know one third of Islam. O my son, during the last moments of Rasulullah , we were all gathered around them and we asked which of us would be the first to meet them. They replied, The one with the longest hands. Later we all started to measure our hands and compare whos were the longest. It was my cousin, Sayyidah Zaynab bint Khuzaimah who was the first one to pass away. She was renowned for her love for the poor people, and she would strive to help them. Thus, she was known as Ummul Masakin, mother of the poor, as she was the most generous amongst all of us. It was only then that it became clear what Rasulullah had actually indicated. There are many waqiahs that describe the qualities of the Mothers of the Faithful, but you should know that each of the noble wives had unique characteristics and virtues, which Allah wanted in the blessed household of his beloved. Rasulullah married for this reason, so that the companions, and eventually the rest of the ummah would benefit from following these examples. Ya Ummul Muminin, it is said that people had great respect and honour for your family even before Islam. Many prominent members of society sought to marry into your family because of the familys prestige and noble qualities that were instilled in the ladies. So, is it true that even before your marriage, you were related to Rasulullah through your family?

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Yes my son, two of my elder sisters were married to the uncles of Rasulullah . Lubaba al-Kubra was married to Abbas , and was the second lady to become Muslim after Sayyidah Khadijah . She is better known as Umm Fadhl injury. , the lady that beat up Abu Lahab, who later died from this

My other sister, Salma was the wife of Hamza . They only had one daughter named Ammarah . It was my niece Ammarah , who was only a young girl during the time of Rasulullahs Hijrah and so stayed behind in Makkah Sharif. Sometime later, when some Muslims were leaving for Madinah Sharif, she pleaded with them to take her along so that she could re-join the rest of her family. Jafar , Ali and Zayd all started to put forward their own reasons as to why they should take responsibility for taking her to Madinah Sharif. Each one was eager to become her guardian and caretaker. Zayd said, She approached me, and I am like her uncle so I should take care of her. Ali said, She belongs to our family and as Hamza is our uncle. It is therefore our duty to look after her. Jafar said, I am married to her khala and she is like a daughter to me. So I must take this responsibility. This case was eventually presented to Rasulullah who gave the verdict in favour of Jafar saying, A khala is like a mother, there is no difference. So he has more right over her. So, my family was blessed with being linked to Rasulullah through the marriages of my sisters. Asma , my third sister, was married to Jafar . She bore him a son who was named Abdullah bin Jafar . As Jafar was martyred in Rasulullahs life time, she was then re-married to Abu Bakr al-Siddiq , and had a son from him called Muhammad . Also my sister Lubaba al-Sughra was the mother of Khalid bin Walid , about whom Rasulullah said, that he was The sword of Allah. There is no doubt that Allah has favoured us, for undeniably, my mother is a very fortunate lady and the envy of all mothers, to have amongst her sons in law; Rasulullahs uncles; Abbas and Hamza , Rasulullahs cousins; Jafar , and Ali and Rasulullahs most beloved companion Abu Bakr Siddiq . Truly these people are the elite of the elite.

Ya Ummul Muminin, I recognise that for each person, you keep referring to their relationship with Rasulullah , because essentially this is the link which gives them significance and honour. However, with regards to yourself, how did your personal relationship with Rasulullah start? In which circumstance was this bond formed, and where did your marriage take place? O my Son, there is truth in the saying that marriages are made in heaven as the real beginning of this relationship is formed before our coming into this world. This is in accordance with Allahs will as this is something that is decided by Him alone. As for the circumstances, I remember it was in the sixth year after Hijrah that Rasulullah came to Makkah Sharif with 1400 Sahabah to perform umrah. However, the Quraish refused them entry and stopped them in Hudaybiyyah. Following negotiations a treaty was formed, in which it was agreed that the Muslims could not complete their umrah that particular year, but may return the following year, for a period of 3 days only. It was truly a very testing time for Rasulullah and his companions. Nevertheless, in accordance with the agreement, Rasulullah returned the following year with 2000 companions to complete the umrahtul qadha. After completing their umrah they camped in Minah. Even today you can see the remnants of a small mosque where Rasulullah stayed. O my son, I was 39 years old at that time and had already been married twice. I was living with my sister Lubaba al-Kubrah in the house of Abbas. Both my sister and her husband were very worried

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about me and concerned for my marriage. As Allah had already graced me with beauty and I was brought up with noble characteristics, I had so many proposals, but for a reason not known to me at the time, I refused them all. It was in Minah that I actually saw Rasulullah for the first time. Only Allah knows what my heart felt at that moment when my eyes first caught a glimpse of them. In that intense moment I declared, the camel I am sitting on, and myself I give to Rasulullah . Others heard what I had said and word spread out about how inappropriate these comments were. However, my Lord verified the sanctity of my words and a Quranic ayah was revealed in my support. From His endless favours Allah blessed me again as my marriage was endorsed through Divine revelation. Upon my sisters request, Abbas approached Rasulullah and spoke about my situation saying, My sister in law is a divorcee, and it is my wish and also that of my wife that you would accept her in marriage. Rasulullah did not hesitate nor ask any questions and accepted the proposal. Arrangements were then made for our wedding in Makkah Sharif. However, the kuffar insisted that the Muslims leave as the three day allowance had come to an end. Rasulullah explained what had occurred in the meantime and also offered an invitation to the wedding. Despite, this the kuffar refused saying they would not allow us to perform the marriage in Makkah Sharif. So, Rasulullah kept to the agreement and left with their companions. They camped at a place called Serif, about ten kilometres out of Makkah Sharif and it was there that our nikah was performed. Although my parents had named me Barrah, which means righteous and good person, Rasulullah granted me a better name; Maymuna, which is derived from yumun. It means the lady that is full of blessings. After the marriage, I accompanied Rasulullah back to Madinah Sharif where I was made very welcome by the other Mothers of the Faithful. Although I was only with Rasulullah for a period of four years before they passed away, they were the best years of my life. I am sure that each of the Mothers of the Faithful also feels that their time in marriage with Rasulullah was their best in life.

Ya Ummul Muminin, even today when young people go into the presence of a Shaykh or an Awliya, one of the first questions they are most likely to be asked is, whether they are married. There are debates over whether this action is considered as part of ibadat, worship or not. Nonetheless, it does seem to be major part of faith, but is it really that important? O my Son, the first mention of the word zawj in the Quran is in Surah al- Baqarah where Allah said to our father Adam , "O Adam, you and your wife, meaning partner and wife. As Adam were alone in paradise, they wished for a companion and so whilst they slept Allah created Hawa . When they awoke, they saw our mother and desired to be with Hawa but Allah told them that this is not permissible unless they marry her and before that they must pay a dowry. Adam did not know what this meant, so an angel was sent to instruct them that they should read Salawat on Rasulullah three times and that this would be their dowry. This is how their marriage was performed. So, the act of marriage is as old as mankind, as even the first human being could not find peace and comfort in paradise without a partner, and was therefore ordered to get married. It is not only the sunnah of our father Adam and our mother Hawwa , but one of the greatest and beloved sunnahs of Rasulullah . This in short alone proves its importance. O my son, I remember when three people once came to our household asking about Rasulullahs regular practices. We informed them about some of their usual routines and how much they prayed, fasted and so forth. They were very disheartened to realise that they could never measure up to what Rasulullah could do. So, one of them promised to remain in prayer every night. The second
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pledged that he would fast every day continuously without taking a break. The third decided that he would never get married, as this would become a distraction and an obstacle in his worship. Eventually, when they met with Rasulullah they were asked if they were the ones who had made these pledges. Rasulullah then said to them, By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and fear Him more than you. Despite this I fast, and then I break my fast. I pray, and I also rest and I marry women. He who does not follow my sunnah is not from me. There is no doubt that Rasulullah is the best and perfect example, as they showed how best to maintain a balance in life. Besides, following their example and sunnah is more pleasing to Allah than any self-prescribed actions that we can ever think of. However, it is very unfortunate and deeply saddening to see that today people have started to calculate the benefits and losses of actions in their own minds. They fail to realise that their understanding is very limited. In comparison, every action and every blessed sunnah of Rasulullah holds immense benefits, great virtues and hidden secrets, all of which are undoubtedly beyond our limited comprehension. So it is quite simple, if you want to follow their sunnah, then Allah will make it easy for you and you will find a way. But if you do not, then surely you will find an excuse instead. O my Son, Sayyidah Aishah told me that she heard Rasulullah say that when a bondsman marries, he completes half of his Din, and that he should fear Allah for the remaining half. This shows how important marriage truly is. When Allah says in the Holy Quran, O you who believe! Fear Allah as He ought to be feared. And die not except in a state of Islam, what does this really mean? Even the mufassirin, scholars have explained that here, Allah actually indicates that you should not die, unless you are married. Do you know that when Imam Ahmad bin Hanbals wife died and he got married again the very next day, how all his relatives started to raise questions about his inconsiderate behaviour? Only he understood the true value of this blessed deed and so he answered them saying that he did not want to spend even one day without being in the state of marriage. Ya Ummul Muminin, clearly marriage is very important but there must be a greater purpose which goes beyond this physical relationship. What is the wisdom behind this bond? O my Son, it is amusing that people are seeking deep and hidden meanings behind everything. Intrigued by mysteries they want to comprehend beyond their capacity, but often end up more confused. You are asking about hidden secrets when you struggle to even understand and act upon what is apparent and simple. It is a shame that these days people do not realise the importance of this matter, instead they are thinking that they will lose their freedom, become burdened, and have a shorter life and so on. If only you were to adhere to living your lives, following the blessed sunnah of Rasulullah , you would realise the real benefits of marriage. You should be grateful for your husbands and wives, as it is they that are saving you from hellfire. Otherwise, there are enough temptations for you to be committing the most obscene sins every day. Indeed they are a great source of protection for you. Even the way Allah describes this relationship in the Quran is that you are a garment for them and they are a garment for you, and what does a garment do? It provides cover, comfort and protection. Rasulullah once said, O young people, whoever of you has the means should marry because this keeps the gaze lowered and is a protection for your private area. If you are unable to marry then keep fast because that will reduce your desires and lust. In Surah Yasin Sharif Allah says, We created everything in pairs. So , every living thing whether it be humans, animals, plants and so on are all created in pairs. This is what zawj means, to be a

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couple, and its purpose is the continuation of human beings and other living things. Through this relationship, which Allah has permitted, we fulfil this obligation and attain His pleasure. So my son, marriage is unquestionably one of the most beneficial sunnahs. However, I am seeing that these days even amongst those of you that do get married, you have reduced this to a mere ceremony and occasion where your friends, relatives and everyone is invited apart from Allah and His Beloved .

Ya Ummul Muminin, I am thinking about the Awliya who do not need this relationship as they have surpassed such physical desires. Like Khawaja Gharib Nawaz, who when asked about marriage, said that they did not observe it because of the physical gratification, but they follow this sunnah with the intention to maintain the practice of Rasulullah . So, when even the great Awliya of this ummah follow and uphold such traditions, it leads to reason that this deed has to have a much greater purpose. Most certainly, Rasulullah never did anything which did not increase their desire to be with Allah, and which did not take them closer to the Divine presence. In marriage, Rasulullah were being humble before their Lord. Allah Almighty placed great responsibilities on them and they were fulfilling every obligation so that they could stand before their Lord, showing humility that they have fulfilled each and every one to the best of their ability. O my Son, know that it is through marriage that Allah has given you this great opportunity to achieve nearness to Him. It is a natural instinct within you to seek companionship, because in actual fact what you are really seeking is union with your Lord. However, as that is not possible, Allah has created a means for you to seek and achieve intimacy with someone in life. This way you come to appreciate the joy and pleasure of this bond. Thus, the level of closeness and affection you hold in your marriage with your partner is a reflection of Divine intimacy. If you take care of this marriage and succeed in this temporal relationship, then Allah will grant you a greater and everlasting union in the hereafter. In this manner, a successful marriage prepares and helps you to accomplish this intimacy with your Lord. If you find someone in this earth who may have many faults but you are able to overlook these and still achieve a complete union, then it is possible for you to have union with the One is who is perfect. As wives of Rasulullah , we were all very fortunate to succeed in our marriage and be able to refine these noble characteristics through their love and guidance. O my son, it is through marriage and the tests and responsibilities that this brings which allow you develop patience, mercy, compassion, steadfastness and many other good qualities.

Ya Ummul Muminin, you explain that marriage gives us the opportunity to become better people by developing good manners and characteristics, but how can we decide what to look for in a wife or husband? We have heard Mawlana Shaykh Nazim say that some people like to be waste bins, as they collect all this filth and rubbish in themselves. How can we see who is full of waste and who is not? O my Son, I heard Rasulullah say, Three people have the right to Allahs help; The slave who tries to buy his freedom, the person that seeks to be chaste and avoids sinning by getting married, and the one fighting in the cause of Allah.

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It is true what your Shaykh is saying. It is a shame for us to see so many people in this ummah who are in this state. Allah Almighty has granted you such a great honour of being from mankind, and not from animals and insects, yet so many of you disgrace yourselves by abusing your bodies. From the beginning of creation certain qualities have always been considered as honourable in every society. Keeping yourself chaste and pure has always been regarded as a noble and moral virtue by all cultures and religions. Humanity has always been united in upholding the significance of marriage in all societies, as they have celebrated this relationship through ceremonies, rituals and customs. Since Allah has permitted this alliance between couples only through matrimony, it has been sanctified, bringing with it endless mercy and blessings. However, I am seeing that in recent times this has changed because of your negligence and carelessness. As your Shaykh said, people have become like bins, collecting waste from here and there, saying that they are exploring their freedom and possibilities. This irresponsible behaviour is what is leading you to disobedience, which is the actual cause of much of your worries and troubles. I am disappointed that you have become heedless in this manner. As you are moving further from the traditional ways, you are becoming so accustomed to immorality that you are not even looking for these qualities in your partners any longer. Instead, you mock and frown upon them thinking that they are old fashioned values. However, it is very important that you seek companionship in those that uphold such noble qualities and characteristics. O my Son, there are people to whom Allah has granted insight, giving them the ability to recognise the true worth of things before they blossom. Look at the wife of Aziz e Misar. She was able to see the greatness in Yusuf , although they were only a young boy being sold in the market. She saw their significance and persuaded her husband to buy them. Also, the daughter of Shuaib , who was able to recognise the virtues in Musa in that one moment, when they had helped her to feed her animals at the well. She then went to her father saying that they were strong, trustworthy and reliable. Likewise, it was Sayyidah Khadijah who sent the proposal of marriage. Rasulullah were only twenty five years old when they successfully returned with the trade caravan from Sham. Sayyidah Khadijah had carefully observed their mannerism as they approached Makkah Sharif. In those few moments, they were able to recognise the eminence of Rasulullah by simply just watching them from their balcony. O my son, Rasulullah once said, You should marry women who are ibkar (fortunate and prosperous, chaste and pure), as they have sweet mouths, pure wombs and are easily pleased. They have clearly indicated the qualities that you should look for in your partners. It is these that attract Divine mercy and blessings, which then help in making the marriage successful and prosperous. If you strive to be in goodness and preserve such noble virtues, then Allah will grant you this ability and insight, so that you too may recognise such potential and worthiness in others.

Ya Ummul Muminin, whenever Mawlana Shaykh Nazim would talk about their relationship with Hajjah Amina, they would say, She looks as pretty to me as the day I married her. Even after so many years, is it really possible to maintain this level of love and affection between each other? O my Son, this is definitely possible as the love between them does not decrease with age because it is not based on lust. When you desire a woman, you will love and praise her, but once you have had your satisfaction, she will no longer look like a princess and you will no longer be seen as a prince. Within 20 days all your passion and all your love will have died. However, if this relationship is based on love and is nurtured through selfless actions, care and consideration for each other, then it continues to grow and blossoms over time. Your Shaykhs marriage was not perfect from the start,

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they both worked hard to reach this equilibrium and they made it a perfect marriage. This shows how much he cherishes this marriage and the love and consideration he has for his wife. Allah has indicated how this stability in marriage can be achieved. He uses the word Maruf, which means kindness, praiseworthy and decency by saying to men, Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. Therefore, you should treat your wives with kindness and gentleness, as this will inspire softness in them and will create a deeper affection and love for you. Your conduct with them will reflect in their behaviour towards you. You should realise that your wives have left the home of their parents where they were brought up with great care and love. If after marriage you treat them with harshness, it will cause them to be constantly reminded of their time with their own families. Then their hearts will yearn for their parents love, and will grow cold towards you. O my son, in the last period of their life, Rasulullah had nine wives but not one of us ever complained that we were upset, and wanted to return to our parents homes. This is how beautifully Rasulullah treated us. We did not want to leave Rasulullah for anything. I remember when Allah revealed the verse of Surah al Ahazab in which we were given a choice, O Prophet (Muhammad )! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, Then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). We all cried so much upon hearing this and fell at Rasulullahs feet, seeking forgiveness for even the basic demands that we made. We all said that we did not wish for anything but did not ever want to lose them. Even all the wealth in this world was no substitute for their companionship and we could not imagine a life without them. Indeed, we all felt this way because of the manner in which Rasulullah treated us. Sayyidah Aisha told me that once Rasulullah were resting their head in her lap. There was a full moon that night and all the stars could be seen in the sky. A thought came to her mind and she asked Rasulullah if there was anyone amongst their followers who had as much good deeds as the stars in the sky. Rasulullah told her that Umar ibn al Khattab had that many deeds. Upon hearing this she went silent and so Rasulullah asked her to continue. Sayyidah Aisha then said that she was expecting to hear that her father had that many good deeds. Rasulullah told her, O Humayrah, you compare Umar with Abu Bakr ? All of Umars good deeds put together do not equal even one of Abu Bakrs good deeds. Sayyidah Aishah said that her face lit up and she was pleased beyond words. This is how Rasulullah showed affection and consideration towards us. They were always very affectionate and mindful of how we felt. Even their most simple action was full of thoughtfulness and care towards others. It was in these simple things that our hearts were conquered and our love for them has no bounds.

Ya Ummul Muminin, such marriages seem very rare where both partners are emotionally compatible and are able to sustain such consideration and appreciation for each other over time. How can we overcome our weaknesses and aspire to foster such prestigious characteristics? O my son, indeed there are specific characteristics which Allah has naturally placed in all human beings. That is why features such as boldness and bravery, determination and strength are all associated with men. With women you see traits such as love and tenderness, care and gentleness, compassion and sacrifice and so forth. These qualities are revealed in yourself according to the manner in which you face each situation. You will either accept and bring out your natural instincts and behave as you ought to, or you will act in a disgraceful manner and adopt unbefitting traits. I am happy that even today I see such goodness in many ladies. They show great compassion and

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concern for their families, and it is not something which they can simply switch off. It is their natural ability to be tolerant and merciful. However, I remember once how Rasulullah explained that women are created from the rib, which is very delicate and if too much pressure is applied in attempting to straighten it, it will break. However, if left as it is, then it will always remain crooked. So, if you are forceful and intimidate your wife in every situation, then this will be very harmful, leading to separation and divorce. On the other hand if you are a henpecked husband who has no say in any situation, and is without authority, then this too is equally harmful. I can best describe this as when Mullah Nasruddin said that he was not afraid of his wife, even when she beats him black and blue. What does that say about the characteristics of both husband and wife? Rasulullah dislikes both of these extremes; where the husband is too soft and weak, and where the wife is too bold and harsh, as these are not their natural personas. O my son, there is a good and bad side to each person and you should always focus on the goodness of people. Those that constantly emphasise the weaknesses and badness in others drive themselves away, creating a rift which draws more grief and despair in relationships. Such misery does not end with this life, but can even carry on into the hereafter. Rasulullah once said that a woman can take three people to hell; her father for not teaching her good manners and not giving her a decent upbringing; her brother who failed to be a befitting guardian and support; and her husband who failed in his obligations to protect and provide for her. On the other hand, I also remember Rasulullah saying that the world is but a relish, and the best relish of this world is a pious woman. Allah has created all types of provisions for you, from food and clothes to health and wealth, but the most beneficial amongst them is indeed a pious wife. It is a pious woman that is able to change a disobedient husband into a God fearing person, and up-bring her children with fine morals and good principles. She can resolve great disputes within families and have the wisdom to avert trouble and harm by uniting her household. However, sometimes a wife can get carried away and become too occupied in holy practices, so much so that she begins to neglect her duties towards her husband. This can also create coldness between her and her household. It is important that she should be mindful of her obligations at home, and not even keep a nafli fast without permission from her husband. O my son, I see that these days everyone is always demanding their own rights. Selfishness should not have a place in this relationship. Rasulullah told us. Know that you have a right over women and they have a right over you. Undeniably, this is a two way process and it is necessary for each partner to be considerate of the others needs. As your wife has a right over you, for you to treat her well in matters of food and clothing, you also have a right over her, that she safeguards herself, your household and your welfare. I agree that in this relationship it may be difficult for you to find an ideal husband or wife who is mindful of all these rights, but marriage is all about achieving a balance. Although there maybe something in your partner which you dislike, at the same time surely there will be something you do like.

Ya Ummul Muminin, it seems that in Islam there is always a greater emphasis on women to be considerate of the rights of their husbands. Whereas with men the focus is on worship, jihad, knowledge, spirituality and so forth. Why dont any of these elements take precedence for women? O my Son, there is great Divine wisdom behind the role of women. People think that women have an inferior role in Islam, but this cannot be further from the truth. It is through Rasulullahs teachings

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that the status of women has been elevated. Do nt you know that in some religions women were considered so unequal to men that they were believed to have no soul? On the contrary, Islam has made it far easier for women to reach Divine acceptance and pleasure through heeding to their natural characteristics. Allah has made it very easy for women to attain high ranks through simple actions, which have great worth in His sight. He mentions the noble qualities of such women and their obedience in the Quran. Our mother, Hawa was reunited with her husband on earth after such a long time. However, she always loved and remained committed and faithful to him throughout his absence. Also, Sara was married for a such a long time without having any children, Yet she remained loyal to Ibrahim and supported him through old age until Allah blessed them with a son, Ishaq . Their other wife, Hajrah was left in the desert without any provisions and alone with their baby, Ismail . However, she did not complain or protest but remained steadfast in her trust and faith in Ibrahim . Indeed Hajrahs dedication and obedience towards her husband attracted Allahs pleasure and acceptance. So much so, that He has made it an obligation for all visitors to His house to copy her actions, and run between safa and marwa just like she did. O my son, Ayub was very wealthy at one time but then gradually lost all their wealth and then even lost their health. They became so ill that they could not even move their limbs. During this time their wife took great care of them, helping them to move, clean, feed and clothe them. As nothing remained at home, she had to work as a maid servant in someones house in order to provide food for her husband. She would spend all day tending to her duties but was always concerned about her husband. Her mistress was very fond of her beautiful long locks and one day demanded that she cut her hair and give them to her. She was reluctant to do this but fearing that she may upset her mistress and lose the only income they had, she cut her hair. When Ayub noticed this, they were very upset with her and pledged that once their health had fully recovered, they would beat her one hundred lashes for cutting her hair. Despite this, she continued to look after them and help them get better. This illness remained for a very long time and only when Jibrail came, showing a spring in which they were told to bathe in, were they finally cured. Even their wife was unable to recognise them upon returning from work that evening. She was alarmed to see Ayub as a handsome young man with their health fully recovered. Allah then commanded Ayub that they were not permitted to punish their wife because of her loyalty, dedication and service. However, as they were a prophet of Allah and had to keep their promise, they should gather one hundred straws and tie them together and then softly tap their wife on the arm. This would fulfil the pledge that they had made. O my son, you can see how these ladies gained Allahs pleasure by being dedicated to their husbands. Even Asiyah , the wife of Pharaoh, attained her Lords acceptance through her noble characteristics. Although the pharaoh was an evil man who even claimed to be God, demanding to be worshipped, Asiyah remained a pious and devout Muslim. Yet she was an obedient wife and loyal to the pharaoh in all other matters. Allah has granted her such honour that He will show her as an example on the day of judgement to women that were negligent in their prayers and worship. One particular Sahabiyah had a young boy that was taken ill with a severe fever. The boys condition worsened and he died whilst her husband went to work in the fields. Upon his return that evening, concerned that he may be tired from the hard work and not wanting to add to his discomfort, she told him that the boy was resting. She then brought food and drink for her husband and behaved in her usual manner. At night she even asked if he desired to be intimate with her to which he replied that he did not. In this manner she relaxed her husband from his anxiety and worry in preparation for the tragic news. She then asked him that if someone lends them something and then wanted it back, should they refuse? He replied that as it was not theirs but only borrowed then surely it should be returned without hesitation. She then told her husband, Allah had sent us this child as gift and He has

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now taken it back. Rasulullah appreciated this quality in her, saying that she displayed such fortitude and strength of character. O my son, there are many examples that can be told, but the point is that the greatness of all these ladies is founded on their obedience, dedication and commitment in their service as a wife. Every lady has the opportunity to reach this position in the Divine presence by simply being considerate in her responsibilities and sincerely fulfilling her role as a wife. Baba Farid strived to control and subdue his ego by hanging himself upside down from a well. For many years between isha and tahajjud he continued this practice. Through such strenuous exercises he was granted a very high rank and whatever he said would be fulfilled immediately. Once he sat under a tree to rest. After a while he looked up at the birds on the branches that were making a lot of noise and told them to be silent. In an instant, all the birds dropped dead on the ground. Later, as he continued his journey he arrived at a well and saw a young lady repeatedly taking water from a well and throwing it in one direction. He approached the woman and asked for some water to drink. She replied that he should wait as she was busy trying to put out a fire in a particular village. Her peculiar reply and odd behaviour made Baba Farid think that she was mad and wasting water. So, he asked for some water a second time. She said, Be patient. I am not like the birds that will drop dead at your command. Your powers dont impress me. Ive explained that Im trying to put the fire out in this village, let me do that first. Realising that she was not mad but had been given some powers beyond what he could see, Baba Farid waited until she had finished. He then asked her how she attained this rank, which gave her the ability not only to see but actually put out the fire in a village so far away. She explained that this was not due to her being a great waliyah or sufi master, but rather because of her obedience towards her husband. She told him how one cold night her husband asked for water and she went to fetch some immediately. However, by the time she returned, he had gone back to sleep. So, she did not disturb him but waited in case he woke up again. In the morning when he saw her standing beside him with the water, he realised what had happened and was very pleased to see her dedication. Allah Almighty also accepted her service and obedience and thus granted her such powers. O my Son, you can see how Allah graces obedient wives with His favours and mercy. Such are the Divine rewards that marriage brings in this relationship. You can see how Allah Himself exemplifies their nobility and honours their behaviour. However, be warned that just as this relationship brings about great benefits, it can equally draw Allahs anger. Indeed both, the wife of Nuh and Lut , invited the wrath of Allah only through disobedience towards their husbands. I am seeing that these days it has become very common for women to talk ill of their husbands. To complain about their husbands to their friends and families has become their favourite past time. Unfortunately, they do not realise the impact this has on their relationship. The consequence of such disgraceful conduct is that it not only becomes the cause of hatred and bitterness between couples in marriage, but also draws Allahs displeasure. Rasulullah once mentioned that whenever a woman steps out of her house with intent to complain about her husband, she carries the curse of Allah and His angels and invites His wrath upon her. To have unrealistic expectations of the husband is what breed ungratefulness. A woman should be appreciative of what she has been given. Rasulullah mentioned that a quality which is bad in a man, but considered as good in a woman, is arrogance. They meant that she should be proud of her household like a queen is of her kingdom. She should maintain her dignity and honour by being satisfied and grateful for her state. Her appreciation will have an impact on her husband as he too will appreciate her. In this manner love and harmony will increase in their household and her righteous characteristics will be imprinted on her family and children.

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If you look to any of the ladies in Rasulullahs household, you will notice that not only did they have noble characteristics in themselves but they passed these on to others. Even the maids and servants of the ummahatul Muminin acquired these virtues and passed them onto their offspring. The mother of the famous Imam Muhammad bin Sireen was a servant girl in our household. She was a pious lady who bore 4 sons and 4 daughters, all who eventually became Muhadithin. The mother of Imam Hasan al-Basri was also a khadimah in our household. Her son became the Imam of his time.

Ya Ummul Muminin, after Rasulullah passed away, sometime later you returned to Makkah Sharif for Hajj. We know that you were taken seriously ill during this visit but asked to leave even in that state. You then passed away just outside the city and were buried in that same place. I am wondering that had you stayed in Makkah Sharif, was it not likely that you would have been buried in Jannat al-Mala near to Sayyidah Khadija ? Did you not prefer to be buried in Jannat al Mala? Or be taken to Jannat al- Baqi in Madinah Sharif? Yes my son, I performed Hajj three times after Rasulullah passed away. The first was during the Khilafat of Umar ibn Khattab . I travelled to Makkah Sharif with the other Mothers of the Faithful. Uthman ibn Affan and another Sahabi were appointed as guardians of the convoy. They made great efforts to ensure our comfort during the journey. Uthman was at the front of the caravan making everyone aware that the Mothers of the Faithful were amongst the group. Everyone gave us great honour and respect and we even received invitations from many of the locals in Makkah Sharif. I then returned to perform Hajj again during the Khilafat of Uthman ibn Affan . Once again our journey was very well organised as we performed all the rituals in great comfort and ease. The last time I made this journey was during the Khilafat of Muawiyah . It was during the Hajj period that my health deteriorated as my illness prolonged. I realised that these were my final days and I would not recover. So I asked one of the maids to take me to the place where Rasulullah married me. O my son, Rasulullah had already told me that I will not die in Makkah Sharif. I knew that the truth of their words would not let death come near me, unless I moved. I certainly did not want to delay this and so I asked to be taken out of the city. I spent my final moments in the same place where my marriage with Rasulullah took place. It is where I met them for the first time, and it was where I was going to meet them again after death. My nephew, Abdullah ibn Abbas lead my janaza and I was buried in the same place. Since then, many travellers and visitors have come to my grave. I see that people, who make this journey to Allahs house, enter Makkah Sharif and give their salams, pay their respects and show honour to Sayyidah Khadijah . Upon departure many visit my grave showing their love and veneration in the same manner. I am very grateful to my Lord who has granted me this honour in life, and in death. Indeed, all these blessings are granted only because of our relationship and marriage with Rasulullah .

Ya Ummul Muminin, it is very fortunate for those that get the opportunity to visit Sayyidah Khadijah , and then to visit you as they leave for Madinah Sharif. We can only imagine how pleasing this must be for Rasulullah as the visitors to Haramain Sharifain leave Makkah Sharif and make their journey to them. It is as if their mothers in Makkah Sharif have blessed and prepared them to able to stand in

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the presence of Rasulullah . Your intercession in this way is what attracts the tawajjuh and endless mercy oceans from Rasulullah . Ya Ummul Muminin, we pray and implore you that you prepare us and help us at the time of our death, in the grave and on the day of resurrection. So we are able to stand with the best of manners and respect; in obedience as true servants before Rasulullah in the Hereafter. Amin.

Al -Fatiha

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