Everything

It had taken her much too long to realize when it was happening this time. All in their group but herself and Inuyasha had gone to the old taijiya village to restock on things like buffing oil for weapons, and an extra suit for Sango. The only two left out of that were searching for a shard further north. Kagome used Sango as her excuse; she and the other girl shared everything, and this was no different. Because Sango wasn't there, Kagome didn't see the signs until it was too late to do anything but suffer through it, away from any sort of comfort she might have gotten in her time. Kagome tried to hold in a whimper as Inuyasha flew through the trees with her on his back. An ear twitched back as Kagome gave in and groaned, shifting herself uncomfortably. "What is it?" the half-demon asked in a panic. "Is it the shard?" "No," she told him forcefully, more for herself than for him. "Too late to worry about it, so don't." "Huh?" "Never mind," she mumbled.

Kagome didn't know how she'd managed to pull off such a scheme for so long. Every month, she was able to weasel her way home with an excuse, and once there, she would do her best to barricade herself in her room for two or three days before Inuyasha came back for her. She hadn't been keeping track this month, though. Everything she needed to make herself feel less like wanting to bang her head against the wall was at home. She couldn't feel it yet, but she would soon. The pain in her stomach meant that she only had hours or less to brace herself for misery. She just hoped Inuyasha wouldn't push her too hard when they found the jewel fragment.

"Heh, that demon wasn't so tough! D'ya see how I hey, Kagome, you alright?" Kagome was slowly sliding down the nearest tree she'd been able to find. No, I'm not alright! she wanted to shout at him. Maybe if I'd noticed how much I yelled at him a few days ago, I could have been spared. Finally in a sitting position, Kagome crossed one ankle over the other and drew her knees to her chest. She'd found more than she thought she had in her yellow backpack, but it wouldn't be enough to get her through the day. The waistband of her jeans cut into her stomach; she couldn't decide if she was happy or glad she was in those as opposed to the uniform she used to traipse around in. She let her head droop. "Kagome?" Inuyasha asked tentatively. I don't even care right now. Go away! She moaned, thinking the sound was only in her head. "Kagome!" the hanyou shouted this time. She could hear him sniffing the air. "Doare you bleeding?" Oh, good job, dog boy! For a moment she considered sitting him. But then the moment passed and she realized that 1) he sounded genuinely concerned, and 2) she didn't have the energy to deal with the argument that would certainly come after. Instead, Kagome unthinkingly told him, "Just let me die, Inuyasha." "What! Kagome!" She suddenly found herself hefted up under her arms by a very concerned Inuyasha. Kagome's stomach dropped unpleasantly as she was lifted. She crossed her legs. "Put me down!" she screeched. The boy flattened his ears, but began to sniff around her body.

What is heoh, no. Kagome wanted to smack herself in the face. Inuyasha didn't know what was happening. There was a reason she kept away from him at this time of the month. Other than the obvious embarrassment of it all (and the need for modern conveniences), Kagome had horrible mood swings that made even her tiffs with the hanyou look like a child's spat. First there was intense anger (the kind that was unjustified), and everyone who so much as held her gaze too long suffered for it. And then depression would hit like a sack of bricks against a potato. Being alone with just Inuyasha would make everything at the least ten times worse than it normally was. The thought of telling him what was going on, followed by the mortified admittance of letting Kagome go home, not to mention the thought of trying to ride on Inuyasha's back Kagome shuddered, tightening her legs. Inuyasha was sniffing lower. "Inuyasha," she tried to tell him gently, "I'm fine. I'm not injured. This is normal." Two ears swiveled to her, followed by two eyes. "The hell do you mean?" Kagome looked straight over his head, expression deadpan, and took a deep breath. "You'll figure it out soon enough. It's already too late, though. I should've just asked to go home a few days ago like I wanted. Ugh," she growled. Inuyasha's brows snapped together. "Kagome," he said slowly, "I really don't understand. I just need to know where you're hurt." Kagome resisted the twitch she felt in her eye. He seemed genuinely concerned for her. She didn't want to have to go through the absolute awkwardness of having to tell him the situation, though. She could see his face as she pictured telling him, eyes wide and horrified, hands tugging at his ears in confusion. He was easy to predict. "Could you put me down now, please? Being held like this is only making it worse." "Whuh?" Inuyasha only lifted her higher, nose now working up a frenzy. Dear Kami! Kagome had thought that the angry stage of it had ended when she'd shot an arrow into the demon they had defeated only half an hour before. She'd felt murderous then, and had wondered for the fate of Naraku if he dared to try to do battle while she was like this. She'd felt almost

sorry for him especially since Sango was much worse with her temper, and they shared the same cycle. "Inuyasha" Kagome growled again. "Put. Me. Down. Right. The hell. Now." "Not 'til I know what's wrong with you!" "You wanna know what's wrong with me? Everything! Right now, I just want to sit down and be miserable, but you aren't allowing me to do that!" Inuyasha leaned back a little from the vehemence in her voice. "And, on top of that, I want to strangle you for keeping me up here so damned long! Put me down!" "K-kagome?" he whispered, complying with her wish finally! and setting her back down against the tree. "I don't understand." Looking up into his confused and hurt eyes, Kagome's fury melted entirely. Guilt washed over her. Here he was, trying to be a good friend and see what was wrong, and she was treating him like he'd always been treated by people, by yelling at him and threatening him. I'm no better than they are! she thought in despair. A sob escaped her. She managed to cover her face before more came out. "I-nu-ya-sha!" she hiccupped out, fighting the sobs as best as she could. "I-I-'m s-so sor-ry! I-!" The rest was lost to her throat. Almost in a panic, the hanyou knelt beside her and crushed her to him. They spent several minutes like that, Kagome crying so intensely that she couldn't yet speak, and Inuyasha holding her tightly, afraid something was utterly wrong. When she finally got the chance, she said wetly, "I'm so sorry for yelling at you all the time, and siI mean, you-know-what-ing you, and for being so mean. I just get angry, and frustrated, but I shouldn't take it out on you! You don't deserve it. I'm really, really sorry." Inuyasha whined a little in the back of his throat. "Kagome are youare you dying?" He looked down at her, watching as her eyes continued to produce more moisture. The thought of Kagome dying sent Inuyasha to a dark place that he hadn't seen in a long time. Who would smile at him when he said something he didn't' mean to be funny? Who would tell him that he was being stupid for jumping into things too quickly? Who would make him food and go un-thanked? Kagome laughed humorlessly. Inuyasha frowned. "I'm not, as much as might I want to. I"

Before she could tell him that it was just the pain talking, Inuyasha crushed her into him again, this time tighter than before. "Don't you dare," he told her, "don't you fucking dare want to ever die! I couldn'tplease, Kagome, don't say things like that!" He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. It did nothing to soothe him like it normally did. "Inuyasha" Kagome began, too stunned to continue. It was possibly the sweetest overture he'd made towards acknowledging their friendship since they had met. Even though her abdomen sharply reminded her of what she wished she could forget for two minutes, she clutched at the boy just as desperately. She smiled against his haori. She couldn't decide if he'd be more angry or abashed when he found out what was really going on. "I don't really want to die, you know," she finally told him. He relaxed his hold on her enough that he could look her in the eyes again. Her eyes were dancing in that way that said he was being ridiculous. "I'm just in a lot of pain, and it makes me say and do stupid things." "I justI don't understand why you're in pain, though," he said dejectedly, his ears matching his downcast eyes. Kagome lifted a hand to tweak the ear nearest her. "That's why you're so adorable," she said, grinning. His cheeks colored at that. "But, it's not serious?" he asked her. Humor still sparkling in her eyes, she said, "It happens as regularly as your transformation. Mine is just moreviolent." "Huh?" Kagome rolled her eyes, which felt just a little stiff from her crying jag. She decided to just come out and say it as tactfully as possible. "It's just my cycle, Inuyasha. You'd think I'd be used to it by now." Kagome counted in her head slowly. When she got to six, Inuyasha's expression changed to something akin to vague horror. "You I mean all the yellingIs thatit that why you always go home around the same time of the month?" Kagome plucked at a loose thread near her jeans pocket. I really wish I had my sweats with me, she lamented before answering him.

"Yeah. For me, it usually gets worse the farther along it goes. This is just the first half of day one. By day two, I have to keep myself from wanting to either eat myself into oblivion, or murder anyone who walks too loudly in the house." She'd tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. After all, this was a normal thing for her. But she couldn't help being amused at Inuyasha's face. It was the perfect symbol of the masculine dealing with the feminine a concoction of disbelief, thrown in with suspicion, added to confusion, and with just a dash of terror. "You mean," he swallowed, trying to get the next out without his voice breaking, "that you go through this once every month?" "Yep." "And the pain is bad enough that you want to die?" She shrugged. "Yeah. But I can't always tell if I'm serious about it or not." "Wherewhere does it hurt most?" he asked, almost as if asking would insult her. He really doesn't know much about these things, does he? "My stomach, though I sometimes get a massive migraine." "Does it hurt to move?" Kagome thought about the pain she would experience once she moved from her spot against him. As long as she sat still, the pain wasn't too bad. But if she tried to move, it just made everything worse. "Well, only a little. It's moreuncomfortable than anything." For several seconds, he just sat there, still holding onto her, but staring off into the distance. He nodded decisively to himself. Standing up, he went to Kagome's things a few feet away, strapping her quiver and bow to her backpack, and then yanking both arms through the yellow straps. Once done with that, the boy gingerly lifted Kagome in both arms, pushing her hands behind his neck. "Inuyasha, what're you" "Keh. Just relax, Kagome." And then he ran.

Kagome was startled that the ride was so smooth. Usually it was smooth only until he hit the ground or a tree, the impact jarring both of them before the next launch. But it seemed as though Inuyasha was running straight across solid ground instead of through the treetops. Sighing, Kagome followed the half-demon's instruction and relaxed.

"Uhn" Kagome protested the impact. Opening her eyes, she could blearily make out the well house of her family's shrine. She frowned, looking up at Inuyasha's determined face. She hadn't realized that she'd fallen asleep on the way over. The ride was so nice. Even in her head her voice sounded sleepy. Crying always makes me tired, I guess. She only opened her eyes again when she heard her mother's surprised voice. "Inuyasha! Is something wrong with Kagome?" Inuyasha grunted. "She's fine, just, uhnotfeeling well." Kagome laughed, and then immediately regretted it. The laugh had brought back the spasms from earlier. Bypassing Kagome's mom, he took her straight upstairs, but paused halfway between her room and the bathroom. Reddening only slightly, Inuyasha asked, "Um, do you wanna lay down, or" "Bathroom, please," Kagome told him, slightly more embarrassed now that her earlier mood had worn off. Stepping just into the doorway, Inuyasha lowered Kagome to stand on her own in the bathroom. The new position squeezed her insides unmercifully, but she still smiled at the boy that had brought her all the way home. Inuyasha folded his hands inside his sleeves, continuing to stand where he was. Folding her arms over her stomach gently, Kagome tilted her head to the side, looking pointedly at the boy with dog ears. "Whaoh. Oh! Uh, I'll, uh, I'll just be" he pulled a hand out of his haori to jerk a thumb in the direction of Kagome's room. Kagome snorted, closing the door as the half-demon made a break for it. Kagome took a moment to lean against the back of the bathroom door, turning the little mechanism on the handle to lock it.

Kagome felt much better now that she'd taken care of things and had a chance to shower. She hadn't brought any clean clothes with her into the bathroom, so she'd have to finagle her way into her room and Inuyasha out of it so she could change. She tugged at her jeans, excited to be able to wash and dry them like they deserved, when she opened the door to her room. Inside, Inuyasha crouched at the foot of her bed. Seeing her, Inuyasha shot up for the door. "I'll let ya change," he said gruffly. "Your mom made some ginger tea for you. It's on the desk," he waved. Before he could leave, Kagome placed a hand on his arm. "Inuyashathanks. For taking care of me, I mean." In a rare moment of disregard for his usual standoffishness, Inuyasha smiled. An answering grin tugged itself from Kagome. The moment didn't last long, but it made her feel even better than the shower had. "Come get me when you're done," he told her, patting her hand a little awkwardly where she'd rested it on him. Kagome lifted her hand to her face as he walked out and closed the door. Yep, definitely red.

I'm so glad to be back in a time where things like Midol can be found in the nearest cabinet. Kagome clutched the comforter closer to her stomach. Even with the pills she'd taken, the pain was still immense. She wasn't sure if she'd even be able to sleep tonight. "Need anything?" Kagome shifted her head to look at the end of her bed. Inuyasha sat in his normal nighttime pose, but against the side of her bed. "Nope. Thanks, though." He hmphed, but it didn't make Kagome feel defensive. Really, he'd been rather understanding about the whole thing, considering how he normally was. "What?" he asked.

"Huh?" "You made a sound." "Oh. Well, I was just thinking that you've been really mature about all this." He closed his eyes, an eyebrow lifting. "What made you think I wouldn't be?" Several memories floated in front of her eyes, superimposing themselves over the boy at present. None of the memories were very flattering. "Oh, no reason," she said glibly. She took a deep breath as another influx of cramping came up. After minutes of silence, Inuyasha finally said, "I don't like seeing you in pain." "I...I wouldn't think you would" she trailed off in confusion. He shifted. "When you said you were surprised that I was being mature or whatever." Or whatever, Kagome repeated mentally with sarcasm. "I can kinda understand," he mumbled. When he opened his eyes to look at her, he saw that she was still looking at him, expectant. He looked away, but continued with his thought. "When I turn human on the new moonI mean, it's not the same as, uh, what you're but, yeah. I feel weaker, I can't smell right, can't hear right." She really didn't mean to, but after thinking about what he'd said, Kagome snorted. Inuyasha whipped his head back to her, eyes hardened. Realizing her mistake, she pulled the comforter over her head in a pitiful attempt to hide herself. Within seconds, there was a powerful tug on the comforter. Her uncovered sight met pivoting ears and narrowed eyes. "What's so funny, Kagome?" Seeing the hurt in his expression, Kagome pulled a hand from under the covers, and lightly grasped his hand still clenching the fabric. His rigid grip on the blanket loosened almost instantly. "I'm really sorry, Inuyasha," she said. "I shouldn't have laughed. I thought of something funny when you were talking."

"Yeah?" he asked, trying to sound casual. She saw him glancing at where her hand was over his. She wasn't sure why, but her pulse sped up. "Yeah," she replied. "Well, what was it?" Looking her in the eyes, he seemed less vulnerable than he had the minute before. Kagome grimaced. "I was just thinking that you get moodier during your time of the month, too." The only sign that he'd been affected was the telltale tweak of his right eyelid. Kagome instinctively tried to burrow down into the mattress. "Like I said, I'm sorry," she said rather hastily. What is wrong with us? she thought privately. Every time one of us tries to be understanding and mature, the other goes and screws it all up. And this time it was me who did it. She didn't notice that her face had morphed into something much sadder, but he did. Looking back at the hand that still held his in place, he grunted. "It's fine. Just don't go expecting me to be this forgiving all the time." When she squeezed his hand, he had to close his eyes. How could he not forgive her? She was far too kind to him, anyway. And even though he'd never even under pain of death or humiliation (whichever was worse on any given day) tell her, he sometimes felt like he deserved to be screamed at. Maybe on some more complex level, he egged her on to get her to yell at him. Or maybe it was as simple as acting like an ass and getting what he deserved. He really didn't know. He opened his eyes again when she let out a sigh. Seeing the hesitation on her face, he said, less gruffly than he'd wanted, "What?" "Iwould you want to sleep on the bed with me tonight?" She stumbled over herself to explain. "It's just that heat helps with the cramps, and you're rather hot" Let the humiliation commence. Oh, nice going, Kagome! Why don't you just tell him you're attracted to him? "It's a demon thing, I think," he told her in a distracted sort of way.

Wait, she thought in instant relief. He's not embarrassed. He...he doesn't know the double meaning! She did a silent dance on the inside that Inuyasha wasn't caught up with the slang of her time. Inuyasha was too busy doing his own internal dance to notice. Did she just She did. She asked me to lay down with her. His mind went back to other times, in the Feudal Era, when she had asked the same of him. But this was different. She wasn't huddling with him under a tree for warmth. This was a real bed. He knew he shouldn't read too much into the invitation, but his heart had already gone there. He reminded himself that she only thought of them as friends. But that wouldn't stop him from enjoying what he could (even though he felt guilty that she was still feeling so bad). Almost regretfully removing her hand, Inuyasha hopped over Kagome's body, landing on the other side of her without shaking the bed and making her feel worse. Stiffly, he laid himself on his back, scooting as close to Kagome as he dared, still leaving plenty of inches between them. Kagome broke the distance when she turned over. She clutched her pillow as she felt herself align with the side of his body. "Feeling better?" he murmured. "Yeah," she said just as quietly. "Thanks." He let his eyes drift to her face without moving his head. She couldn't read the look. "Sure."

She tried not to get up much during the night, because it would inevitably wake him, but nature was nature. Luckily, by the time morning came, both had been sleeping soundly for hours. Kagome was the first to wake. The predominant thing she noticed was how much better she felt compared to yesterday, and how much she felt like she was nestled in a cozy cocoon. She barely had time to think on how it was supposed to be worse by now when she noticed the placement of her left hand. Her heart sped up. Clasped in her hand was Inuyasha's hand, both directly over her calmer stomach. And the cocoon feeling She tried her best to keep her heart under control. She could feel Inuyasha's body behind hers, his chest against her back, and his face against her neck. With what dinky human senses she had, she tried to tell if he was awake or not. When his breathing kept steady, she let herself breathe easier. As much as she didn't want him to wake up

and find them like this, she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling such a position created. For one tiny, fantastic moment, she allowed herself to believe that this was normal between them that they did this all the time, and would do it again tonight. Unthinkingly, she rubbed her thumb across his hand. Her heart hammered when he squeezed her hand in response, pulling her closer to him.

He woke when her heart began to pound. He had to stop himself from moving when he discovered that she was awake, and that their bodies were pressed into each other's. He waited, feigning sleep, to see what her response would be, torn between hopeful and sure of rejection. When she relaxed, he wasn't sure what to make of it. But her pulse calmed and he could smell that she was a mix of emotions: comfortable, happy, upset, happy again But most notably, she wasn't in pain. At least I could do that much for her, he thought, letting his mind wander to the arm draped over her, and the hand that held hers. Discretely inhaling the scent of her hair, he thought, No wonder I slept well. When she stroked her thumb over his hand, he reacted intuitively, squeezing her hand and pulling her closer to him. It just feltright. "Inuyasha" she breathed. "Shh," he told her. "Justjust let it be for a minute." He wasn't sure what had made him so bold, but, whatever it was, he'd enjoy the results for as long as he could. When she pushed herself further against him, he thought his heart would come flying out of his throat. They stayed that way, both aware of the light growing in the room from outside. Inuyasha sighed against the back of her neck when she began rubbing her thumb along his hand again. In a worried tone, Kagome asked him quietly, "What are we?" Anything you want, he thought. Her breath hitched, and he stilled. Please, for the love of Kami, don't tell me "did I say that out loud?" he asked, even quieter than she had.

"Yes," she told him simply. And then she started to cry. Heart sinking fast, Inuyasha took one last inhale of her scent before sitting up. Leaning over her, he said, "Look, Kagome, I" "What do you want us to be?" she asked suddenly, running eyes seeming to look through him. He felt his shoulders slump, torn. Did he tell her the truth and risk rejection, or lie and risk hurting her if by some chance of fate she somehow felt the same way? Though with how she was crying His final realization, he distantly thought, might kill him. I can't hurt her, even if it hurts me. "Everything." Her tears slowed. "I have to know. What's everything?" Inuyasha's throat closed. What's everything? It's coming home having a true home and not being alone; it's love, and mating, and marriage, andchildren. But how could he tell her all that without saying it wrong? He had to fight past his rebelling voice to tell her. "Y-you." For the longest second of his life, she was still. And then without warning, her hands shot up to grab the collar of his haori and pull him down to her. He was nearly nose-to-nose with her when she said, simply, "Good." And kissed him.

"Kagome! Inuyasha! Where have you two been?" From where she rode on his back, Kagome looked to Inuyasha, blushing.

"Home," she told Miroku, as he and Sango came to greet them from Kaede's village. "I wasn't feeling well and Inuyasha took care of me." Sango and Miroku looked at each other, a brow raised each. "Well, I hope you're feeling better now, Kagome," Sango smiled. Kagome smiled back as she slipped from the hanyou's back. "Much." Without preamble, or attention drawn to the action, Inuyasha took Kagome's hand in his, lacing his fingers with hers. Kagome laughed at seeing her friend's faces. Racing across the field, Shippou came to a halt before he could jump into Kagome's arms. Inuyasha snorted at the kitsune's wide, horrorstruck eyes. "What?" he asked in his typical gruff manner. "Ain't never seen a couple holding hands before? C'mon, Kagome." The rest of their group stared in shock as Kagome waved to them, happily towed by Inuyasha. Shaking his head, Shippou came out of his stupor, running after the girl. "Hey, wait, Kagome! Did you bring me back some pocky?" "Well," Sango said. "I guess they had an interesting few days without us, eh, houshi-sa" Sango took a moment to collect herself. She left the monk huddled over his bruised and broken hand. "I thought you'd learned your lesson the other day, houshi-sama," she called over her shoulder leisurely. "But I guess one broken finger isn't enough." To herself she muttered, "He should know better than to proposition me during this time of the month."