September 2013

What To Do This Month Useful Telephone Numbers Classified Ads Cable Channel Listing Definitely Not the News The Rainy Day Page And Lots Of Other Fun Stuff!!

Yennys Market Catamaran Beach Bar Loase Resort/Sams Bar Happy Hippo El Carey Syls Place Las Rocas Restaurant Costambar Community Center & Library Supermercado Tropical Big Lees Beach Bar Restaurant Chino Johns Beach Bar The Meeting Place Puerto Plata Beach Resort Ocean World Marina Los Tres Cocos

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Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Fine dining at its best! Call 809-993-4503 for details. At The Catamaran on Costambar Beach youll find great food at great prices enjoyed with a million dollar view! Every day they have Power Hour with 3X1 cuba libres from 6-7pm. Celebrating their 4th Anniversary on September 11 with lots of surprises! NOW A WIFI ZONE!!! They also hold a monthly Flea Market on the last Saturday of every month beginning at 10am. No cost to vendors! Sams Cafe at Loase will be closed this month for vacations but you can still visit the Loase Retreat Center for room rentals and activities such as racquetball, pickleball and coverage of the U.S. Open. Lets face it - youre dying to know what pickleball is, arent you? Restaurant Chino has the best Chinese food on the North Coast! Eat in or take out. Two locations - on the Malecon in Puerto Plata and calle Principal in Cabarete. This month they will be open Tuesday April 2nd & 9th. The Meeting Place is on summer hours now. Check their website for news on any happenings. Big Lees Beach Bar on the Malecon has fantastic food at affordable prices! Amazing Fish & Chips, big juicy burgers and yummy sandwiches. Every Tuesday, Thursday AND Saturday enjoy a cuba/santo libre for only RD$50 or Jose Cuervo for only RD$100. Great food served all day until 8pm! Help Big Lee celebrate his 2nd year anniversary on Saturday September 14th with Karaoke starting at 8pm! The Happy Hippo & Pedros Kitchen offer great food & great fun! Join them to celebrate Sonjas birthday on Sunday September 23rd - Karaoke with JP starts at 3pm! Pedro has a special menu every day! Eat in or take out! This month every Saturday and Sunday he has a fried fish & plantain or fries with a national beer special for only RD$375! Or try the tapas menu any day!

Puerto Plata Beach Club is the new hangout for expats & upper class locals! Theres a bar, spa, cafeteria, Italian Pizza & Pasta to go, a minimarket & liquor store. Plans for this year include a casino, movie theatre, piano bar, live music & more! Kevin & Patricia invite you to El Carey Restaurant - where you can enjoy the beach your way!! They will be closed for a while as they reconstruct their restaurant after a devastating fire. But they are rebuilding as fast as they can and will be better than ever! Johns Beach Bar is newly opened and waiting to show you a great time! Its the place for great food, great fun and great friends! And Johns Snack Shack will tempt you with their tasty offerings including original beer battered fish & chips, all beef burgers, full breakfast and more! Friday nights are Curry Nights! Or enjoy a platter of amazing chicken nuggets for only RD$175! WiFi available for customers! Daily & weekly food specials and special events! Syls Place has Darts every Tuesday night starting at 8pm and starting September 12th they have Quiz Night with a dinner special every Thursday at 8pm. Good food! Good fun! Las Rocas by Klaus Restaurant is reopening on Sunday September 1st and they look forward to seeing everyone again!

YOU KNOW ITS HOT WHEN

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Feel the Breeze - Feel Freeand Safe

Puerto Plata Beach Club

Come Be Part of a New Community for Foreign Residents!

JOIN US FOR A WEEK, A MONTH OR A YEAR STARTING AT AN INCREDIBLY LOW US$12 PER DAY!!

TS A P X E OR F lata E P C o A t L r P Pue THE ! n i e r n o o M c e and Mal e a h i r T On fete a C pa Bar - S

809-586-4243 www.ppbeachresort.com Email ppbeachclub@gmail.com Twitter: @ppbeachclub Facebook: Ptoplabeachclub Apartments

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I just realized something; it just hit me! My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and he again visits during the year, if any medical needs arise. He pays nothing for this, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood He lives in a house that is much larger than he needs. He is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who earn a living. I was just thinking about all this and suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks My dog is a POLITICIAN!

The Malecon, Puerto Plata Open by 9am

FISH & CHIPS HAMBURGERS AND FRIES

HOT DOGS & SANDWICHES

Every Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday

Made with the Caribbeans #1 rum - Brugal Anejo or Blanco

CUBA/SANTA LIBRES RD$50 JOSE CUERV0 RD$100

From 11am till 8pm Tuesday closed Follow our program on facebook: Sonja Happy Hippo For more info: 829-707-6787

Restaurant Chino
GREAT SPECIALS FROM PEDROS KITCHEN EVERY SATURDAY & SUNDAY!

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 23RD

Best Chinese Food On the North Coast! Two Great Locations! Eat In or Takeout!
Xiang Wan Jia Plaza Neptuno, Malecon, Puerto Plata 809-261-5609 Calle Principal, Cabarete 809-571-0385

COME CELEBRATE SONJAS BIRTHDAY! KARAOKE WITH JP STARTS 3PM

Fried Fish with Plantain or Fries And a national beer Only RD$325! Also Available Great Tapas Menu!!!

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809-848-9009

TUESDAYS 8pm Darts! THURSDAYS 8pm Quiz & Dinner!

Starting Sept 12

WE LOOK FORWARD TO WELCOMING YOU AGAIN!

OPENING AGAIN ON SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 1ST!

CLOSED Saturday, Sunday & Wednesday

CHECK OUR BOARD FOR DAILY SPECIALS! FREE DELIVERY IN COSTAMBAR!

COME FOR THE GREAT FOOD AT GREAT PRICES AND THE MILLION DOLLAR VIEW!

INTERNATIONAL GOURMET CUISINE & AUSTRIAN SPECIALTIES

4TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY!! WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 11TH THERE WILL BE SURPRISES!

NOW A WIFI ZONE!!!!!

FLEA MARKET!!!

EVERY LAST SATURDAY OF THE MONTH Starting at 10am FREE TO VENDORS!

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WELCOME TO KEVIN & PATRICIAS EL CAREY Where you can enjoy the beach your way!
We will be closed for a while due to fire damage. But we will rebuild and reopen better than ever! We want to thank everyone who has supported us with cleanup help, donations, kind words and so much more! That is what our community is about not the bad apples in the barrel but the so very, very many good ones! You have given us the strength to carry on and we are overwhelmed with gratitude. THANK YOU ALL!
Also available for parties, weddings, etc.
Calle Reina Isabel, Costambar, Puerto Plata Spanish 809-918-1448 English 809-924-8233 CLOSED MONDAYS

JOIN US FOR COVERAGE OF THE U.S. OPEN!!

Racquetball, handball, wallyball, pool-billiards, All Day Breakfast Big Screen TV for sports, movies and concerts Fish & Chips * Chicken Curry Full Menu * Daily Specialty Smoking and non-smoking areas

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend. She texted: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back: I'm on the toilet. Please advise.

VILLA FOR RENT BY THE WEEK

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SOLUTIONS ON PAGE 9
SUDOKU PUZZLES Fill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

BACK TO SCHOOL
Find and circle all of the words that are hidden in the grid. The remaining letters spell a hidden message

ASSIGNMENTS BACKPACK BATHROOM BELL BINDER CAFETERIA CHALKBOARD CLASSROOM CLOCK COURSES DESK DOORS ENROLL

ERASER EXAMS FIRST DAY GYMNASIUM HALLWAY HOMEWORK INTERCOM JANITOR LANGUAGE ARTS LEARNING LIBRARY LOCKER

LUNCHROOM MATH NEW FRIENDS NOTEBOOK NURSE OLD FRIENDS PADLOCK PAPER PENCILS PENS PRINCIPAL QUIZZES

ROLL CALL RULES SCHOOL BUS SCHOOL OFFICE SCHOOLYARD SCIENCE SECRETARY SEPTEMBER SOCIAL STUDIES STUDENT STUDY TEACHER

Across 1. Perspicacious 5. Inactivity 6. Idiom 7. Voter Down 1. Scam 2. Foreword 3. Adjure 4. Quisling

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TEL: 809-970-7194
12 22 28 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 40 42 43 44 46 49 CNN FOX ABC NBC CBS TBS CNBC ESPN-1 WGN CDN TNT USA ESPN-2 DISCOVERY DISNEY HBO SPORT BOOMERANG 51 56 57 64 66 70 71 72 74 79 80 81 83 84 85 CINE SPEED ANIMAL PLANET SCI-FI FOOD WEATHER CINEMAX SHOWTIME STARZ NASA JETIX CARTOON TNT LA HISTORY THE FILM ZONE CANAL

69 DISCOVERY KIDS

Police Office Police Car APC Office APC Gate Security Codetel Edenorte - emergency Edenorte - office Costambar Taxi Stand Canada Britain U.S.A. German Italian Clinica Bournigal Clinica Brugal Los Tropicos Pharmacy

809-320-8510 809-320-8840 809-970-7877 809-970-7015 809-220-1111 809-261-1844 809-586-9823 809-970-7318 809-586-5761 809-586-4244 809-586-4204 809-586-6995 809-320-7601 809-586-2342 809-586-2519 809-970-7607

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?!" she asked. "I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" "Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me" The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she whispered sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner? He never heard the gunshot.

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CHARTS AVAILABLE
Get your nautical charts of the Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands, Providenciales and Hispaniola From Colin at Luperon Swap Meet Wendys Bar in Luperon Ocean World Marina in Cofresi

If you have difficulty call Colin at 809-449-1819

BEGINNER

INTERMEDIATE

HIDDEN MESSAGE
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education

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An amusing and sarcastic complaint letter to a Caribbean airline is making headlines this week after being spotted by Sir Richard Branson. The open letter, by Arthur Hicks to LIAT (Leeward Islands Air Transport) caught the attention of the international media after being blogged by the Virgin founder. Here's what the letter said: Dear LIAT: May I say how considerate it is of you to enable your passengers such an in-depth and thorough tour of the Caribbean. Most other airlines I have travelled on would simply wish to take me from point A to B in rather a hurry. I was intrigued that we were allowed to stop at not a lowly one or two but a magnificent six airports yesterday. And who wants to fly on the same airplane the entire time? We got to change and refuel every step of the way! I particularly enjoyed sampling the security scanners at each and every airport. I find it preposterous that people imagine them all to be the same. And as for being patted down by a variety of islanders, well, I feel as if I've been hugged by most of the Caribbean already. I also found it unique that this was all done on 'island time', because I do like to have time to absorb the atmosphere of the various departure lounges. As for our arrival, well, who wants to have to take a ferry at the end of all that flying anyway? I'm glad the boat was long gone by the time we arrived into Tortola last night and that all those noisy bars and restaurants were closed. So thank you, LIAT. I now truly understand why you are 'The Caribbean Airline'. P.S. Keep the bag. I never liked it anyway.

RD$1230 Includes Dental RD$1480 with Drugs

Aquacero, Malecon, Puerto Plata 5pm Biekes Bar, Costambar 6:30pm Or call Petra & Marcel Bahr 1-809-885-2155
Massage: Relax, Reduction, Deep Tissue, Facial Massage, Reflexology, Acupressure, & Hot Stone Physical Therapy, Paraffin Treatment & Lymphatic Drainage Manicure & Pedicure: Regular & Intensive Braids & Hair Extensions & Mens Haircuts Facials, Waxing , Peeling, Hydration & Nurse Services Natural Health & Beauty Products
ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIALS. Open Mon-Sat from 9:00am / Sundays by appointment Service to the home. Transportation available. #14 Penon St, Costambar Tel: 809-970-7522 Cell: 809-993-2944

calle Camino Real #28 2nd Floor Puerto Plata Tel: 809-586-1707 Cell: 809-903-6457
Post Graduate, Biomedical Research S.L., Spain

Full Range of Dental Services Dental Implants * Teeth Whitening * Orthodonitics Preventative & Cosmetic Dental Services
Free Estimates! Reasonable Prices! All Insurances Accepted! English Spoken! Free Parking DJimenez Store! Open Mon-Fri 8am-7pm & Sat 8am-12pm

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SOUND RENTAL

Karaoke Tropical
For Any Event of Your Choice With Animation in Various Languages Lyrics in 7 Languages International Music, Videos and DVDs Large and Small Screen & Disco Light 809-204-4172 Email dj.marilyne_karaoke_tropical@hotmail.com

Dog For Sale . Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

OPEN DAILY (INCLUDING HOLIDAYS) Mon-Sat 8am-10pm Sundays 8am-8pm Everything you need from snacks to supper! Delivery Service Available! Calle Principal, Costambar (just inside the gate) 809-970-3028

CLEAR FIBERGLASS 7 GALLON PROPANE CYLINDER TANK 24 TALL & 12 DIAMETER

Tanks & valves are brand new Made in the USA Always know how much gas you get or have left! Lightweight & rustproof!
ONLY RD$2500 CALL COLIN AT 809-449-1819

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CMS DEFINITELY NOT THE NEWS!

Because rumour, gossip, hearsay and anecdotes are just sooo much more fun!

HEARTWARMING! And then the people of this community showed who they truly are! Dozens of people from all nationalities and other local business showed up to show support for El Careys tragedy and proceeded to clean up the wreckage in record time. They did this voluntarily and of their own volition. No one asked them to. They just wanted to. And many didnt even personally know the owners. They cleaned away the debris and power washed away the soot, working all day so that Kevin & Patricia could get to work as soon as possible rebuilding their business. And many others donated financially to help them start all over. Kind words and support came from everywhere. This is the real Costambar! And if we always behave in this manner, supporting and helping each other, MORE TRASH TALK! then we will become a stronger and better Costambar Monthly was provided with what looks like community. the official resolution of the garbage rates by If you are interested in donating please contact Ayuntamiento. At this point it looks like the rates Sylvia McGinnis. You can email her at will be as follows: smcginnis@sasktel.net. Canadians can email money residence RD$300, apartment directly to her. She also has PayPal and even if you RD$200, large commercial dont have PayPal she can make it work. You can call business RD$400 and small her at 809-848-9009 or drop by her restaurant Syls commercial business RD$250 Place on calle Principal in Costambar. Well keep you posted if Working together we can rise from the ashes of this anything changes. tragedy! HEARTBREAKING! The El Carey Restaurant on Costambar Beach was burnt to the ground in what police have confirmed was a case of arson. The first attempt to burn it was unsuccessful. One of Costambars, if not the North Coasts, iconic establishments (it started as Robertos), this place holds many memories for old timers as well as newcomers. Whatever the motivation for this evil and cowardly act, and there are many rumours and theories swirling around out there, actions like these only hurt our community and any attempts to grow and thrive. We hope the perpetrators are found and severely punished. This follows the burning of the beach chairs of another Costambar beach business. KEEPING YOU POSTED ON HOW COSTAMBAR GETS WIRED! Work began on wiring up all those pretty new electricity posts late in August. They seem to be making good progress and it will be interesting to see how this effects not only the length of time we are without power but the quality of that power. We can at the very least hope that a new electrical infrastructure will mean less unscheduled outtages.

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VIVERO MAIMON
GREEN THUMB
Landscaping and Gardening Maintenance Services
Palms, Flowering and Foliage Plants BEST PRICES ON THE NORTH COAST!!!
George Roesch 809-543-8041
OPEN Monday to Friday 8am-5pm Saturday 8am-noon

Km 11 Carretera PP-Imbert Just past The Fish Places

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a middle-aged woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors. "Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine. Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors woman!" No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really, really shitty golfer".

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CLASSIFIEDS
WANTED Heading for the Virgin Islands in November and still need a couple items: Offshore auto-inflatable life vest, 4 to 6 person life raft, 2050 amp battery charger and a hand-held/portable depth finder. Call Stew 849-850-3995 or by emailing firefly.sail@gmail.com FOR SALE 3 Solar panels 1 x 12 volt 6580watt Broken/repairable (cracked glass) fully functional, 2 x 6 volt 1 Broken/repairable (cracked glass) fully functional 90 USD the Three. Prototype Solar/Wind charge controller, fully functional, 12/24 volt 100 amp 90 USD 1 Inverter PURE SINEWAVE 24 volt 2000/4000 watt voltage regulator integrated 1 year old 18,000 pesos. 1 electric wing mirror for L200, 1500 pesos. 2 x Ikea silver LED bedside/ office lamps 30 Usd each. Telephone 809 970 32 87 or 809 639 9393. FREE TO A GOOD HOME Kittens in good health. Call 809-988-1322

FOR SALE dinghy caribe 13 feet with latte 800$ both are negotiable US Microwave oven GE, combo Separate English & convection and grill oven, stainless steel inside and foreign language out,rack for grilling and broiling book rooms 200$ Boat stereo 30$ Wet suit 30$ Life jacket 10$ Snorkels 5$ Dog vest 20$ Fire extinguisher 10$ Power cord 30$ IGLESIA FILIPOS PRESBITERIANA invites you to 50 to 30 adapter 100$ services every Sunday at 10 A.M. Worships are in Fishing poles (3)80$ each Spanish. Children activities. Before Costambar Gate Joanne 829-319-0572 or eSecurity, turn on the right side toward the power mail: plant, 100 meters on the right side. noiseuxjoanne@hotmail.com FOR SALE Mitsubishi L200 Pickup, 2001, Diesel, Manual, New Tires, shock absorbers and many This is a story of self-control and marksmanship other parts. 7000 USD viewable in Costambar. Email: by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol stanley.bobyk@gmail.com Tel: against a fierce predator. What is the smallest 809 970 3287 Cell 809 639 caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? 9393

Costambar Community Center & Library Open 9am-5pm Monday-Saturday Located next to the Farmacia

Costambar Monthly classified ads are free but can only be placed by emailing costambarmonthly@yahoo.ca Or calling 809-970-7507 or 809-449-1820 PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items. Commercial properties or enterprises (including real estate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds will usually be run for one month only unless we are otherwise notified.

A Beretta Jetfire testimonial. Here is her story: While out walking along the edge of a bayou just below Houma, Louisiana, with my soon to be exhusband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator suddenly emerging from the murky water and charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus ... the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was more than worth the purchase price of the gun.

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LAND FOR SALE

Beautiful lot just a couple of minutes from the Star Market in Puerto Plata. 750 square metres, quiet road, nice neighbourhood. Mountain view and harbour views. Spectacular view of the city lights at night.

HOUSE FOR RENT

Located Cafemba Main street Long term rental 3 bdrm/2 bath Plus office Furnished Inverter power Well water Pool

APARTMENT FOR RENT

3 bedroom 3 bathroom 24 hour electric, water Swimming pool Located in Las Rocas, Cofresi Only long term rentals US$600 per month Call 809-993-4503

Contact dr84@hotmail.com 829-906-7012

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829-246-7525