Sister - Who Are You Really

Sister – Who Are You Really?
A look into who we are

as individuals in Jesus
and how the Word of
God is meant to
improve us in Christ.
John 10:10 The thief

cometh not, but for to steal,
and to kill, and to destroy: I
am come that they might
have life, and that they
might have it more
abundantly.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in
Christ, he is a new
creature: old things are
passed away; behold, all
things are become new.
By Sister Alissa Lynne

Author of ‘The Truth of
Alissa Lynne I’ & ‘The
Truth of Alissa Lynne II’
Sister – Who Are You Really Page 2
Copyright
Title: Sister – Who Are You Really
Author: Sister Alissa Lynne
Published by: Alissa Lynne – Pittsburgh, PA
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and
retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for
the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Copyright © 2008 Sister Alissa Lynne - All rights reserved

First Edition, 2008
Published in the United States of America
“Sisters” graphic provided by GroovySmurf a/k/a Nita

(www.angelfire.com/on2/groovysmurf)
Disclaimer: The names in this book are fictitious names, changed to protect the innocent.
I am not responsible for your actions after reading this book. If you do not wish to be
bound to the above statements, return the book to me. God Bless
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements Page 4
Chapter 1 – Introduction Page 5
Chapter 2 – Content Sister Page 9
Chapter 3 – Attention Sister Page 12
Chapter 4 – Bitter Sister Page 15
Chapter 5 – Busy Sister Page 21
Chapter 6 – Busy Body Sister Page 24
Chapter 7 – Co-Dependency Sister Page 27
Chapter 8 – Demand/Do It Myself Sister Page 30
Chapter 9 – Don’t Do Anything Sister Page 33
Chapter 10 – Fantasyland Sister Page 35
Chapter 11 – Homebody Sister Page 38
Chapter 12 – Hunting Sister Page 42
Chapter 13 – Low Self - Worth Sister Page 47
Chapter 14 – Mother May I Sister Page 52
Chapter 15 – Mother Mode Sister Page 55
Chapter 16 – Plain Jane Sister Page 59
Chapter 17 – Sneaking Sister Page 62
Chapter 18 – Conclusion Page 68
Author’s Last Words Page 69
Interesting Links and WL4J Information Page 70
About the Author Page 74
Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Acknowledgements
Praise the Lord for Jesus is so worthy of all our Praises! I am thanking God this day for
His love, grace, and mercy that He has granted me despite all that I was, am and still yet
to be. God is so awesome to all of us.
I want to thank my sisters in Christ who took the time to help me with this project and
providing feedback on the different sisters/women mentioned in this book. I am so
blessed to be able to be in the company of such awesome women of God.
I wanted to extend a special thank you to my sister in Christ and heart, Sister Michele
Nesbitt, whom along with Minister Merv proofread the book for me prior to sending out to
all to read. I thank God for my sister who keeps my mind where it needs to be when I
start to talk silly and outside of the word of God!
I wanted to thank the Lord for my son, my first born, my munchkin, and my joy. He has a
heart of gold and a spirit of happiness in him that I pray stays forever. Jonathan, know
that mommy loves you for who you are and we will always be together no matter where
life takes either one of us. You are always and forever my son! I love you my son!
I wanted to take the time to thank the Lord for my husband! I thank God for his support
even when I did not think I wanted it or wanted him. I thank God for Minister Merv’s
strength and spirit that he gives to me each and every day! The Lord has blessed me
with a man who truly loves God first and knows how to do his part to have an Ephesians
5 marriage. Thank you baby for being the man that I need in my life and loving me as
God has given you to love me, I am eternally thankful to the Lord for you. I love you and
looking forward to many more years together.
Praise the Lord for all that He is doing in my life and I am thankful to the Lord for the life
that I have led. It did not seem that great at times, but because of it, I am can see the
blessings on my life from the Lord! We are blessed; let us never forget to thank the Lord
for all that He is doing in our lives!
Thank you for taking the time to read this book too and may it bless your walk in Jesus!
Have a blessed and a wonderful day in the Lord!
Love your sister in Christ,

Sister Alissa Lynne
Chapter One - Introduction
John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am
come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old
things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our
potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.
Praise the Lord! We are blessed to be here this day to have an opportunity to be in the
land of the Living and to live for Jesus Christ Our Savior. We are blessed with new grace
and mercy this day and every single day of our lives, not because of what we have done
but because of His love for us!
I am so excited to present to you this book, as it is truly a blessing to me to be able to dig

deep into the word of God and other resources to encourage my sisters in Christ to
improve their lives in Jesus. It is truly the Lord who is doing the molding, but we must be
open to hear what Jesus is telling us to do.
This book started as an online workshop, originally called, “Where is My Man – I have
waited long enough – Haven’t I?”, that has been expanded into more than preparation
for marriage to a man but into the aspect of becoming more Christ-like. Most of us hear
the stereotypes of women and some of us even fall into those different categories from
time to time. This book is to address some of those categories that we find in ourselves
and help us see through the word of God that we are no longer those women in Christ.
This book is not just geared towards single women, or even “broken” women, but it is
geared to all women no matter what stage of life they find themselves in. The word of
God says we are all one body in Christ, with many jobs and duties that are given unto
us. None of us are the same in all aspects and have so many different things to offer the
world in our walk with Jesus because of our uniqueness. Yet there is one thing that is
universal if you walk this life long enough, that is you can change who you are and what
you can become and this unique thing is the pain and hurt of life. Some of us are walking
with such despair in our thoughts that we do not know how to hold on much longer,
some of us are just making it through each day and while some of us are actually living
the life God has called us to live in Him. We can live our lives abundantly and free from
all things of this world. This book is to encourage each of us to look within who we are
and come to see who we really are.
As always, I am a writer who writes from the heart, past experiences and always the
word of God as I feel He is leading me to do. With this said, sometimes the grammar is
not all that it should be so please forgive me, to those who take grammar seriously know
that I do not mean to offend your eyes with my lack of grammar skills. (Smile) The Lord
is awesome and I pray that I am getting better at this with each book I write.

This book covers a variety of sisters that I have been at one point in my life, known
someone like it, or come close to being her myself. As you are reading this book, there
are a few factors that you need to remember as you go through this book.
First, I am in no way an expert; I am just taking what the Lord has blessed me with and
passing it along. It is up to you as your own woman to do soul searching within you to
see if the sister is truly who you are, and if so what aspects you can take from what is
written and apply it to your life. If the outcome is bad, I am not responsible, if the
outcome is good, I am still not responsible. We have to come to realize that some
choices we have made in our lives have caused us to be who we are this day. This book
is to get your brain to dig below the surface and dig into your heart to see yourself for
who you truly are so in turn you will be more open to hear what the Lord is saying to you.
We have to remember that it is the Lord who we are to listen to, not our selves and not
even Sister Alissa Lynne; it is truly the word of Jesus that will change our lives. This
book is just here to help you see that Jesus is the way to change.
More importantly, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. You can not read this or move forward in your
life without the guidance of the Lord in all that you do. If you are not walking with the
Lord and you are not living your life according to His words and will for your life, let me
extend this book to you as a chance to change in Jesus. Sure becoming a better person
in Jesus and life is great but you have to know Jesus for yourself and you have to come
to see His calling on your life. You can not do this without a relationship with the Lord.
So if you are not saved, know that Jesus is the way to go, open your heart to hear the
Lord’s calling on your life and contact us at 1-877-205-4524 to talk about your salvation
in Christ, it is essential to know the Lord as your personal savior.
To those that are struggling with your walk, look to the Lord, pray, fast and seek the
direction of the Lord for your life. You have to be in His will for your life, there is no other
way to live happy in this life without Jesus. Our direction in life is depended on our
choices and sometimes we make the wrong choices and it is always because we are not
following the direction of the Lord for our lives. If you want to talk or pray with a sister in
Christ, please call us at 1-877-205-4524, do not wait, give us a call today, for Jesus has
done so much for you that you can not ignore His call on your life.
Next, this is a process, as in all things, it is a process in Jesus. To come to the point of
not only understanding but the actual changing within us is a process. We did not
become this way over night and we are not going to change all things over night either.
Even in our changing, there are trials and tribulations that we must go through to get
where we need to be in Jesus. We have to keep our hearts open to the process itself.
None of us are perfect and it is not always going to be a pleasant walk changing from
our old ways to our new ways in Jesus but with the Lord in our lives, it will be so much
better than it was before. Trust in the Lord and have faith in your walk and watch what
the Lord does in your life for His glory which is always a blessing to whom you are as a
person. The process is a lifelong, every changing process that can be challenging at
times but in the end of it all, truly worth it when we see His face and see His love for us
in His eyes. Praise the Lord for the molding and shaping He does in us.
In addition, honesty starts at home with us. We can not start to tackle the things in our
lives and not be honest with ourselves. Many times it is hard to remove that mask that
we place on us as we face the world each day. Many of us get used to having the mask
on that we do not know how to see who we are without it. We start to believe our own
hype instead of seeing who we are deep down inside. We have to open our hearts to the
truth and really commit to some serious soul searching within us. We can not turn over
things to the Lord if we have no idea what we are turning over to Him. We must know
ourselves for who we truly are so that we can let it go and know Jesus for ourselves.
With all that said, in this book, we are going to go over eighteen different types of
women, some of these sisters intertwine with each other and some stand all alone, each
sister is unique in one manner from the others. You will see that each sister has a
scripture related to her personality along with tips, words of encouragement, truly
thoughts of truth to help direct us in the manner of seeking the Lord’s direction along
with exercises to help us drill in the things learned in that chapter. As you go over each
sister, open your heart to the Lord and truly hear what He is speaking to you about
yourself in Him.
The Sisters that we are going to go over are:
Content Sister – This is the sister we all want to be, this sister is our goal as women in
God.
Attention Sister – This sister does things to get attention including making things up
Bitter Sister – This sister is bitter and angry at the entire world
Busy Sister – This sister is never home or alone
Busybody Sister – Everyone’s business is in her mouth, while her own home is a mess
Co-Dependency Sister – This sister thrives on the bad of others and has a need to help
others to the point of her own destruction
Demand/Do It Myself Sister – This sister is demanding – she puts up with NOTHING
from no one, she does not accept help from anyone, she does it all for herself, major
attitude sister
Don’t Do Anything Sister – This sister does nothing at all, no job, no education, no
nothing, but wants the world
Fantasyland Sister – This sister is waiting for Mr. Perfect, there is no accepting anyone
but Mr. Perfect
Homebody Sister – This sister is always at home, she goes nowhere but church, work,
and grocery store, then back home she goes.
Hunting Sister – This sister is “hunting” down her husband or next man of the hour
Low Self-Worth Sister – This sister does not think highly of herself as in not holding
herself in high regard, she feels she is unworthy
Mother May I Sister – This sister does not move without the advice of others

Mother Mode Sister – This sister places her children above everything in her life,
everything revolves around her children, along with the sister who is an overbearing
mother, she smoothers those that are in her life
Plain Jane Sister – This sister is in need of fashion help
Sneaking Sister – This sister is sneaking around with men that are not her husband
Well with all that said, it is time to move forward in the book. This is just the beginning of
the stories, may you continue to keep your heart open to what the Lord is speaking to
you and hear nothing but Jesus talking to you in all that you do.
Onward to Chapter 2 – the Content Sister – living this life is really possible in Jesus
only.
Chapter Two – Content Sister
The Content Sister Scripture:
Philippians 4:10-12 10But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of
me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. 11Not
that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to
be content. 12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where
and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to
suffer need.
Let us discuss the ever so sought after and sometimes faked but not for long Content
Sister. The Content Sister is just that Content. She is truly striving to live what the word
says in Philippians 4:10-12. The Content Sister is where we all want to be in Jesus. We
cannot be truly happy and content in our lives if Jesus is not the center of our lives. It is
important to understand that Jesus is to be the center. Some of us are faking that we are
this sister when inside we are screaming out like the other sisters in this book. The Lord
will bring you to the point of understanding who you truly are so that you can be this
sister.
A Content Sister is truly living the word of God, and she is trusting in God to bring her to
the point of understanding. She is not stressed about being where she is in her life, she
does long/want for things, as she has her own heart’s desires, but it does not control any
aspect of her days and nights. When she has a need to release anything she releases it
all to the Lord. She goes to the Lord when the ‘moods’ hit her, which is any mood that
could trigger her back to being any of the sisters in this book. She knows that she is
precious and when she falters from the truth, she goes to Jesus as her source of
comfort, strength, and guidance.
She takes comfort in knowing that the Lord is truly walking with her daily and that she
can just call on the Lord for direction in her life. She relies on the Lord regardless of what
is going on in her life. She is striving to live according to the word of God. She reaches
out to other sisters and lets them know that God is there for them too.
If she is a single sister, she devotes all her time to the Lord doing the will of the Lord for
others and her. She has Jesus as her husband and has come to terms with being single
and actually enjoying her singleness. She is taking this time as a single sister to ensure
that she is the woman of God that He wants her to be. She has changed her focus to be
on the Lord and His will for her life. She has started to or has accepted the fact that she
may have been called to be single and serve the Lord with all of her. She enjoys her life.
She does not envy or make her married sister feel guilty for being married, although she
has not ruled out marriage, she is just waiting on the Lord.
The married Content sister places the Lord first before all things, and takes her direction
from the Lord to continue to walk according to His word. She is an Ephesians 5 wife and
a Proverbs 31 woman. She takes joy in her life to be both of those sisters. She does not
relish in the world’s concept of a great mother, wife and sister in Christ, but takes to the
word of God for all her direction in her life.
The married Content sister stands tall in the Lord even when she is the only one in her
family that is standing in the word of God. She does not belittle her husband because of

his unbelief but lifts him up in prayer to the Lord and stands before her husband as
Jesus says she should. She knows that the believing wife can sanctify the unbelieving
husband and knows in her very being that her actions can determine whether or not her
husband will come to the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14 13And the woman which hath an
husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is
sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
If her husband is saved, she knows that he is the head of the house and submission is
not a nasty word but a comforting action in her marriage to her husband. Colossians
3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
The Content Sister is not just in the word, she lives the word. She seeks the Lord to kill
her flesh every day. She surrounds herself with likeminded sisters in Christ. She does
not limit herself to way the world sees her life but looks to the Lord with no limits or
boundaries on Him in her life. She strives to draw closer to the Lord and to encourage all
those that she meets.
The Content Sister acknowledges the fact that it only takes one to make the difference in
the lives of others. She does not wait on someone else to join her to do what is needed;
she walks by faith and not by sight. She understands that the Lord is her strength and
that she has authority in Jesus over the enemy. She has learned that she is to be
separated from the world, but yet still able to do outreach to the world so that those she
is reaching see the truth in the words that she speaks. She does not condemn or judge
those that she meets and always thankful to the Lord for the blessings that He has
bestowed upon her every day.
The Content Sister does not forget where the Lord has brought her from but she does
not relish in it either. She has learned to stand tall in the Lord and keep moving forward
in Him regardless of what the picture looks like around her. She has learned to live
Proverbs 3:5-7 5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 7Be not
wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. She knows that the Lord is
her direction in all things and though she does not always understand it, she knows that
she is to trust in it!
The Content Sister has faults, room for improvement and she knows that it is in Jesus
that these areas will change and become more like the woman of God that she is to be
in Jesus. This is the Content Sister!
Is this you? Are you this sister? If so, are you sure? Share with others your walk and let
them know that God is keeping you! Is this where you want to be, well you are not alone!
Tips to being The Content Sister:
• Trust in the Lord for all things in your life. Too many times we say we trust the
Lord but then question everything that the Lord places in front of us. We are to
trust in Him, acknowledge Him and allow His will to be done in our lives. It is the
Lord who molds us and changes us, but we have to trust Him in what He is doing
in our lives.
• Seek the Lord in all things in your life. We are to seek the Lord’s direction on
every single aspect of our lives. We are quick to go with what we want to do and
how we want to be but being in the Lord’s direction and will is better than ours
and keeps us in joy, peace and happiness for all eternity.
• Read the word of God daily. How can we know the Lord and His will for our lives
if we do not read His word and understand what His direction is for His people?
To be able to be content and happy in Jesus, you have to know what He has
done for us and how He is to be always in our lives.
• Pray to the Lord daily. Prayer is our way of releasing and talking with the Lord.
The word of the Lord says to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) We
are to pray continuously because this keeps the enemy away from us for when
we are in the spirit, we are not in our flesh which is where the mess begins.
• Walk with the Lord daily. When we are walking with the Lord we are praying,
fasting, talking, loving, trusting, have faith in the Lord and when the world is going
nuts, we are blessed to be calm in Jesus.
• Build a relationship with the Lord. Well if you do not know the Lord, how can you
follow His will? We need to know that the Lord is the only way to live our lives
and we can not get though this life without building a relationship with Him, just
as we build relationships with our friends and family, we need a strong
relationship with the Lord too.
• Understand that this is a process and nothing worth having is easy. We are
striving to hear “Well done” from the Lord and this is a daily fight within ourselves
to kill the flesh and walk in the Spirit but it is worth the fight. Some times we will
succeed in turning it over and sometimes we will fail. The awesome thing is that
the Lord knows this too. We are to just keep trusting in the Lord and know that
He is molding us into what He wants us to be. Sometimes that process is a
process that hurts but the Lord blesses us to know that He is with us and even in
the process – We are blessed! Letting the Lord make us over is a blessing as we
will be more Christ like when He is done with us!
Thinks to ponder:
How much are you living the following verses?
Proverbs 3:5-7; Matthew 6:32-34; 1 Corinthians 7:34
Exercises:
Single Sisters: If you have been praying for God to send you a mate and He has not
done so yet, stop praying for God to send you a mate, and start praying for God to make
you the wife He would have you to be. This will allow your focus to be not on what you
do not have, but who you are in Jesus and how to become a better woman in God.
Courting Sisters: You have been blessed with your future mate, continue to pray to the
Lord to show you how to prepare you prior to marriage for being married to the man He
has selected for you.
Married Sisters: You are married and regardless if this season in your marriage is a
good one or a rough one, continue to seek the Lord in prayer to make you the wife that
you need to be in Him for your husband. You should never cease to please the Lord in
your walk or you husband in your marriage.

Chapter Three – Attention Sister

The Attention Sister Scripture:
Luke 14:11 (KJV) For whosoever exalteth himself shall
be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Luke 14:11 (NIV) For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who
humbles himself will be exalted.
The Attention Sister is not hard to recognize once you get to know her, but she is hard to
recognize in yourself. Most times she is twins with the Co Dependency Sister, even
though she does not want to admit to it. To some she is considered a “know it all”. She is
sometimes considered by others a person that is always having something tragic going
on with them or with someone that they know, always something tragic and in such a
frequency that it is overly noticeable. She is either never happy in her conversations or
she is overly happy, it alters based on the kind of attention that she receives.
There is a term for this and it is helplessness. The reasoning behind this is you have
learned to get people to care for you, to nurture you. This is truly something that has
been with you for a long time as the need continues to grow inside for acceptance,
approval and fitting into life. More sisters are seeing these behaviors in themselves but
allowing the enemy to deceive her into thinking it is okay to be this way.
Sometimes this is used in such negative ways such as we have seen on cases in court
where the mother has killed her children in aspect of getting attention, or have faked
terminal ill diseases to gain attention from others. In even some cases, this sister will
make up things that have happened to them to fit the group that they are in; for example,
lying about having cancer to be a part of cancer support groups, or claiming to be an
abused spouse to gain attention from others. It not only breaks down the trust that others
have for her, but also hurts those that she has lied too.
Other aspects of this sister are manipulating people into things so that you can remain
dependant on them and not be alone. Most times this sister uses the sympathy role to
act out so that others will show support and compassion, but in reality it is so that others
will do what she wants them to do that she does not want to do for herself.
Most of her life she has played the victim, never seeming to over come anything that has
happened in her life, but yet and still stating how she wants to “help others” over come
what she has yet to overcome. Whenever anyone tries to give her the bright side of her
life, or encourage her to stand on her own, she always has an excuse or disappears for
a while in their life, only to come back explaining how she was going through so much
that she did not want to be a bother to anyone.
This is really a sister that has control issues as she has no control in her own life, so she
makes things up to appear as if she can’t have control instead of standing on her own to
make a difference in her life.
My personal walk as this sister:
I would love to sit here and tell you that I was not this sister ever in my life, but I would
be lying if I said I was not. I was this sister for a time in my life until I opened my heart to
hear what God had for me. The only difference with me is that I did not make things up, I
just harped on those things that already happened to me.
I truly am a survivor of all of things and used that to get attention or to get affection or
just to be noticed. I was loved by my mother and around a lot of attention growing up,
but the affects of the abuse sent me to places I never understood within myself. As I
started to come out of my pain and hurt, I relished on being able to survive all of that and
still be here, to the point of making it the center of my life, my survival.
It was not until I came to know the Lord with my whole heart did I understand that I did
not go through what I went through for my own glory but for the glory of the Lord. It is
something how the Lord will bring you out of those kinds of situations, yet the enemy will
try to blind you with the fact that you did it, not God.
I can see this kind of sister a mile away in other sisters and pray for them as it is a self
destruction trait that can kill us before we even get started. I have to say that I took this
sister to the level of pride and lifting myself up before men instead of lifting the Lord up
before men. I prayed for forgiveness and have come to forgive myself. I was very hard
on myself and when the Lord gave me the vision for Women Living 4 Jesus, I ran from it
for I did not feel myself worthy to be the founder of the group. I thank God for His love
and compassion that He has for us for He sees more in me than I am able to see and I
trust Him with my life.
My sisters this is all a process and though this sister may be you, you are still a child of
God and do not be hard on yourself. I know it might sound silly but knowing who you are
is half the battle, the rest is giving it to Jesus and letting Him direct you into being who
He wants you to be in Him.
Tips to defeat the Attention Sister:

(Tips from www.coping.org – Control/Helpless)
• Pray and fast on the needs being the center of attention or to appear needy
• Speak to a counselor or professional if you believe that you can not stop this
behavior
• Get more into the word of God and truly go before Him for help
• Identify your problems
• Face those problems
• Realize that healing from your problems is a process
• Inform a friend what you have been doing, explain what is going on and come
open with the truth
• Stop using your excuses for why you can’t do something
Things to ponder:
• If this sister is related to you or you are this sister, you are most likely also a Co
Dependency sister, please read that chapter also.
• Why allow yourself to look as if others have control over you instead of you
making the effort and take responsibility for your own life
• This is a learned trait and the only one that can change this is yourself
• The Lord has made us in His image and He depends on no one and we should
depend on Him.
• Making stories up is nothing but a lie and it is not of God

• One day someone is going to find out the truth and friendships can be lost
• This behavior is draining on your friends and support people in your life
• It is really an addiction, just as drugs except it is an attention junkie
• The world does not revolve around your life and situations
Exercises:
1. A great exercise for this is to take the Self-Help Skills and Behaviors Inventory
located at Coping.org site under Tools for handling Control Issues – Overcoming
Helplessness. This is a great self help tool that will open the door to doing some
serious soul searching which is what is needed in this case.
2. Take the time to spend some time within yourself and begin to know who you are
in the Lord. The focus has to come off of you and more onto the Lord in you!
Trust Jesus.
Chapter Four – Bitter Sister
The Bitter Sister Scripture:
Hebrews 12:14-16 (NIV) 14Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be
holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one misses the grace
of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 16See that no
one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his
inheritance rights as the oldest son.
Hebrews 12:14-16 (KJV) 14Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no
man shall see the Lord: 15Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest
any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; 16Lest
there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his
birthright.
As you read over this sister, let me say that this sister is not always one that we want to
deal with or see in ourselves because of how harsh she can be. She is truly a sister who
is hard to kill and die. It is only in Jesus can she die that death of no return! If you do see
some of her in you or all of her in you, remember that this is a process and some things
are just who we are and the Lord will mold us into whom He wants us to be.
The Bitter Sister is very evident to those that she is close to and those that just meet her
for one moment depending on her bitterness. This sister has been hurt by others in her
life and has not learned to let it go before it destroys who she is. She is holding onto the
hurts and pains in her life, striving to never allow anyone to hurt her again.
This sister can also be relishing in her pain and hurt, because it is what is comfortable to
her. It is what drives her day and nights; it is what makes her think she is unique. She
has not yet learned that holding onto all that pain/hurt/mistrust is not allowing her to be
free in the Lord with whom she is in Jesus, or she knows that it is holding her in bondage
and does not know how to come out of it.
This sister can be mean, direct, not putting up with anything anyone says or does, but
she is truly a hard core sister who wants love but can not allow herself to have real love
because of the fears and pain inside of her.
As being a former bitter sister myself, who is still working on letting go of the past and
looking forward, this is a long process for some and a short one for others. For me
personally, it took over a year and still working on it daily. The bitterness that we hold
onto can destroy us and our relationships that we have in our lives with our families, our
friends, and our intended mates.
The only thing that worked for me was to truly look to the Lord and see who I am in Him.
We really need to look to the Lord, pray/fast that the Lord will show us how to release
things unto Him so that we can live free in Him.
For my own personal release, I found writing was a way to express how I was feeling
and how to let things go inside of me. In my writing, I was able to release things that
were holding me back from allowing the Lord to fill me with His love and joy. I would
spend hours on end writing things down that came to my mind and helped me to let
some things in my past go. As a child of molestation, I was unaware of the fact that it
was holding me back as much as it was. I was angry at the entire world and did not see
it in that manner. I kept a diary since I was thirteen years old, but not until my adult years
did I release that pain penned up in those dairies. The Lord lead me to writing one day to
let things go and I have been writing strong about Him ever since. He has a way for all of
us to release the anger that is inside of us, calling on Him and seeking His direction is
the way.
To know how to and what to do, prayer is an important aspect of it all. It will help you
know how to start letting things go. There are many who do not even know where to
begin when praying to the Lord, Our Father. It is as simple as talking to the Lord and
expressing yourself just as you talk to your friends. Your prayer life is where you are
honest and open to the Lord will direct your steps, by giving over your thoughts to the
Lord, you will see that nothing will hold you bounded. The enemy wants us to think that if
we keep things bottled up inside of us that we are better off this way. He wants us to
think if we bury it all inside that it will disappear – this is a lie. We need to release it to the
Lord. We need to get it out of us because when we do, there is more room for Him to
come into our hearts and our lives. When we let go of some of that bitterness, here
comes more love from the Lord. I know that sisters have said to me that they will be
praying and their minds start to wonder away from their prayers. I used to have that
same problem until I started praying aloud, I started conditioning my mind to know that
when I am praying it is to shut down and let my heart speak to the Lord. I still most
nights pray aloud because I want my focus to stay on Jesus, if the Holy Spirit wants me
to speak something to the Lord only, then I start praying in tongues, which to me is the
special language that only God understands. It calms my spirit and I know that God
understands what I am saying, the Lord blessings my praying time as I am able to sleep
soundly, peacefully and to arise with a new thought in life dwelling on Him, as I begin
my day with prayer.
When we are faced with all that bitterness and pain, going to the word of God is the next
thing to do. We have came to His throne now we have to go to His word and be fed from
the word of God so that you can continue to strive to live the life He has called you to
live. It is in His word that you will find healing and peace within yourself. It is in building
your relationship with the Lord that is going to bring you to the peace that you need. It is
not until you get closer to the Lord are you able to release all that is within you.
Praising the Lord is another aspect of letting things go. After you have prayed to the Lord
to help you let it go, stand wherever you are and just praise Him. Block out everything
and everyone, just talk to the Lord thanking Him for His love and understanding. Thank
the Lord for bringing you through your life and always being there. If you find you can not
get a praise thought, just sit still and look over your life and see how bless you truly are.
Basically, we need to pray to God, read his word and praise Him, which is building our
relationship with Him.
My own personal walk as this sister: I wanted to share with you, my own personal
walk as this sister. Growing up, I was pretty much laid back, whatever anyone asked me
to do, I would do. I started having a “bossy” type personality when I was a young girl and
I had my siblings around me. I was always told by them that I thought I was our mother. I
was the big sister and I was large and in charge. My words were what I used to hurt
people; I did not get into fights too much as a child or while growing into a teenager. I did
not like confrontation but I would speak my mind when pushed to it.
To those that I did not know, I was quiet and just did not say much, but once I got to
know you, I was direct, straightforward and did not care if you did not like what I said. I
would just give it to you as I saw it and if you did not like it, well you need to go figure it
out alone. As I became an adult, it got worse.
I had a lot of bitterness and pain harvesting inside of me, a playing field for the enemy to
run my life and that is exactly what I let him do. I wanted to be loved, but did not want to
love anyone for fear that they would hurt me. It in turn meant I would not let anyone love
me because they had to get to know me. I was not having any of that. I did not ruin my
marriages alone, but I did not help to stop the failure of them either. The Lord released
unto me such a strong pain that I had to turn to Him, He allowed me to feel that pain full
force. I was scared to care or start to see me for me.
When I finally committed my ears and heart to hear the Lord calling my life, I became
really content in my single life in Jesus. I was enjoying going to prayer meeting and
church services. I was truly enjoying teaching the word of God to my son. I enjoyed my
life. Well the Lord had other plans for me, the biggest struggle of my life was yet to come
and I did not know how to deal with it at all. What was that struggle? My biggest struggle
yet of my life was meeting Minister Merv and realizing that I was falling in love with him.
What is so wrong with that? Well I had not yet dealt with the pain and hurt of my past, I
was just coasting through my life, not really thinking about it. The more I opened my
heart to Jesus the more comfortable I was in being single. In my case, that meant a life
of solitude which I thought was the best thing ever. I loved being alone and it did not
bother me too much that there was no one there to hold me. I figured I was a good
Christian woman and I could do without that! Well God had other plans for me.
Minister Merv came in and the reminders of all the pain that I had prior to his entrance
into my life come flooding down on me. I was in such pain and such hurt, I did not even
want to discuss it with a living soul. God knew this and sent Minister Merv to talk to me
about it. I did not want to hear from him or anyone else about why I was so mean all the
time. I did not want to know why I was and I did not want to deal with it. It hurt too much
to face all that mess within me. It hurt too much to allow someone to get to know me. So
what did I do…I ran!!
I became the running girlfriend, every time things got good between Minister Merv and
myself, I ran! I ran out the door and did not look back. I will never forget how I would yell
at him and scream on him, all out of the pain in my heart and very soul. He would take it
and love me back and each time he did, he did it with the love of Jesus. He taught me
how to be loved and how to love. He said some things to me that just melts my heart
now although then I thought he was nuts.
I used to push him so hard and wonder why he would not walk away, after much fighting
and yelling at him, I did the yelling and fighting, he most times just sat there in silence. I
remember always asking him, why are you even still talking to me – his response was
always – God said to love you and I am going to love you – get used to it. I do what
Jesus tells me to do! Sometimes he would add ….woman! It took a long time before I
could accept that answer because of the bitterness that I had within me.

I know that the plan from the Lord all along was to have me come out of that stage of my
life with Minister Merv by my side because Our Father knows us and He knew that I
needed Merv so that I would come out of that stage. He knew if I would have stayed
single for the rest of my life, I would end up one day a bitter and unloved woman of God.
He also knew that I was not going to go “looking” or opening myself up to be able to
accept a man in my life because of my thinking at that time. God knows His children just
as we know our children. In one aspect, He sent His love for me in Minister Merv.
Now, we all do not have the same walk in life though we have the same ending goals for
our lives, but let me encourage you my sisters to not wait until the Lord sends a man into
your life to get your heart ready, open your mind and heart to hear what the Lord has to
say for you. If you are already married, there could be issues within your marriage that
you are causing and not even know that you are doing it. If you are in a courtship, you
could be as I was or you could not have reached that step yet. Just keep seeking the
Lord’s direction no matter what is going on so that you will do as He wants you to do.
Letting go of the bitterness and pains of life are not easy but once we do it, it is a
blessing. I am still struggling with letting things go now that Minister Merv and myself are
married, but the Lord is working on me still this day and each day it is getting a little
easier to let go of the pain that I still have and turn on the love for my family and to enjoy
life.
Tips to defeat the Bitter Sister:
§ Let I go – know that what happened was in the past, you cannot change it but
you can grow from it. To do this - know that whatever
he/she/they/them/whomever did is holding you back. Every time you are sitting
there angry at something someone did, think about whether or not it is worth the
anger. For example, in the mornings I have to get on the parkway/expressway. It
is always bunched up with cars, no one really following the road and doing what
is right to get on. I make sure that I drive up and make room for others but
sometimes others will cut me off. Well one guy started fussing at me and I felt
that boiling up in me and at first, I was fussing right back, but then the Holy Spirit
spoke to me about how that is becoming, so I started praying for the man. It is
really a process. I have found some things get to me and some things do not, so
we have to know ourselves
§ Pay attention to what makes you angry, what sets your mouth to going, what
makes you frustrated and focus on making yourself aware of this issues so that
you can address them before the set you off. For example, I was so bad that
every time my son peed on the floor instead of the toilet because of bad aim, I
would just get so angry that I would go off. Now before I walk into the bathroom, I
tell myself, you know he has peed on the floor – tell him to come clean it up as
calmly as you can – breathe my sister breathe. I am not joking, I had to tell
myself that so that I would not flip out over something so trivial.
§ Do not accept the fact that you are built this way and people have to get used to
you. You are making those around you just as miserable as you are and
eventually they will not want to be bothered.
§ Focus and pray – Focus and pray – Focus and pray
§ Stay in the word of God and allow His words to penetrate your heart
There are so many of us that are going through so much and wondering why we are still
not yet free and find ourselves in bondage of our bodies, our minds, and even our spirits.
We need to release and let the Lord move in our lives and know that you are not alone!
Things to ponder:
• The Lord says that we can live life abundantly, victorious and free in Him, being a
bitter sister binds you to the things of your life that have hurt you and keeps you
in bondage until you release it unto the Lord.
• Do you find that you are having problems trusting men, believing people or even
opening up to the simplest thing? Are you holding onto the past and not believing
that there is a good guy out there because you have met so many bad ones?
• How fair is it that you bring in so much bitter and pain into a relationship but if he
was to do the same you would leave him without thinking twice?
• If you are married, are you starting fights just for silly things, how about if you are
single or courting, you could be doing the same with those that you love?
• If you find yourself in a relationship, and after even the littlest offence, you kick
him to the curb and look for the next guy?
• If you are holding onto all this bitterness, all this pain, all this mistrust, all this
hurt, all this malice, how can the Lord truly penetrate your heart to give you more
love, joy, peace, understanding, patience and all the other fruits of the Spirit?
• Are you walking around and some of the slightest stuff “sets you off” or angers
you with no reason that makes sense to anyone but you?
• Are people telling you that you are angry all the time; you may have some
bitterness still in you.
• How can you truly be free indeed when you are allowing those things to keep you
bounded in the Lord?
• What about your family, how can you expect them to love you and accept you for
who you are when you are mean and evil all the time?
• Are you consistently yelling, do you know that you will give that same spirit to
your children so that if they do not break that habit, they will be yelling at their
children and walking around in the same bitterness that you are because that is
all they know? Our children are their environment!
• Are you always waiting for the bad to happen because the good is just too good?
• Jesus promised abundance in life, we can have it, do you believe it?
Exercises:
1. To all sisters going through this stage – read of the tips to help change and start
placing them into practice. If you find that you can not do those tips because they
are not working for you. Seek the Lord in all that you do and allow Him to direct
how you are to address your issues.
2. When we find that we are slipping out of where we should be – remind yourself
that this is a process and the only way to succeed is to look to the Lord. We need
to surround ourselves with things of God. I tell anyone who will ask me this is
how I do it and it works for me; try to find something that works for you. Sure I
slip and mess up but I know how to get back on track, most times sing a song or
sing a praise. I tell you it is so awesome, so I just keep doing it until it becomes
2nd nature to sing a song or praise to God. I know if I keep that up – I stay in the
spirit and not in the flesh. It keeps my mind steadfast on Him. We want to ignore

the enemy – we have to focus on Jesus – it is NOT easy by any means but it
what we need to do so that we keep our mouths shut, to keep our tempers under
control and beat the bitterness.
I remember one time I fussed at Merv for being a man. He was trying to tell me what to
do – I can’t stand that when I am not tired but I can pretty much ignore it then, but
because I was so tired – I fell into that trap. I had to say sorry, if I would have sang my
song “Jesus loves me this I know for the bible tells me so” I would have ignored the
enemy and kept doing what I was doing without snapping Merv into silence. I could have
sung him into silence which is what I normally do. It is all a process and a way of life –
being molded in Jesus. If we stay in Him all the time, we will get better at walking like
Him more often!
Why do I say this, I say this because we have the victory. What the enemy counts on is
the fact that you do not know that you have the victory and that you will not act on the
fact that you have the victory in Jesus. He (satan) is counting on you falling down and
not wanting to get up. He is counting on when he has you up late due to a family
situation that you will not finish reading your word that night which can start a daily trend
of you not reading your word every day. He gets your mind to thinking, I missed Tuesday
night and the world did not cave in and tonight I am so tired, I will just read double
tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and he throws something else in your path. Now
the Holy Spirit will tell you that you need to read, but it is our choice on what we do. We
have to fight our flesh and ignore the enemy. If you have to stomp on him, then do so,
but remember to turn your mind over to Jesus.
The enemy will send people to hinder us, he will send situations to slow us down, and he
will send obstacles that will try to make you fall down, oh yes, temptations that really
knock you back. Remember that all the enemy means to hurt or harm you, the Lord will
use to bless you. With each situation that comes and you over come that situation, you
will find that you are moving forward in Jesus and receive more in Him because of it.
Sometimes it is the baby steps that matter the most. We can not expect to RUN, when
we can not even CRAWL first! Think of the process of a child learning to walk and
compare it with our walk with the Lord. There is a process in all things, Praise God for
that, so as we learn to scoot closer to Him, know that eventually you will be running to
Jesus and never looking back! AMEN!
Chapter Five – Busy Sister
The Busy Sister Scripture: Psalm 27:13-14 13I had
fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I
say, on the LORD.
Once again, this sister can be married or single, does not really matter as she fits the
mold in so many ways. This sister whether she is married or single keeps busy so that
she does not allow herself to be “idle”. She does not allow much time for her to slow
down. She is running for herself and for others. She sometimes falls into bed exhausted
because she passes out so that she does not have to think about things that are going
on within her. Sometimes for the single sisters it is so she does not have to think about
being in bed alone, and sometimes for the married women it is because she is not in bed
alone.
So what is the issue with being busy? I am doing things in the name of Jesus, I am
taking care of my children, I am reaching out to others, what is wrong with that?
Well…are you avoiding things in this manner? Are you facing things in your life? How
are you doing so when you continually running, when do you take time out to face
yourself and to do self-examination of yourself? What things are you running to do that
keep you busy? This sister does not spend time at all thinking on things going on with
her; she is not dealing with things in her life.
There is a thin line with this, sometimes a sister in type of Christ thinks she is a busy
sister but she is really not a busy sister, she is a different sister or she is a content sister
who has not accepted a few points in her life and avoiding them for a minute. This is not
to get confused with sisters who are going to school, working, and raising a family, this is
not the sister that we are talking about.
This sister is so busy, always on the go because she can not sit still. This is the kind of
sister that does not even know the meaning of the word “relax”, because when she does
relax, it makes her face things she does not want to face. Sometimes the sister will say
that the enemy will bring things to her mind, when in essence it is the Lord bringing
things to her to deal with.
What is the downfall with a sister as such; this sister is not able to deal with the issues in
her mind. She is shutting down before she has to deal with things in her past or just
some areas in her life that need improvement. The damage is that a busy sister can
eventually turn into any other sisters such as Bitter, Busy Body, Fantasyland Sister and
this is not a good thing.
This sister has to come to understand that “hiding” from oneself is not always the best
thing especially when the Lord is trying to bring it to your mind to deal with. It is truly up
to you to understand what He is calling you to do. It is your walk with the Lord that will
improve when you allow yourself to sit and be still in the Lord.

I spent most of my life as this sister. I was so into not sitting still as I did not want to think
about the things of my past life. The really funny thing is at the same time being the Busy
Sister; I was the Homebody Sister, Co-Dependency Sister, and the Attention Sister.
I would do whatever anyone needed done. My sister needed someone to watch her kids,
no problem; my mom needed someone to take her somewhere, no problem. A friend
needed this or that, no problem. It meant that I was not sitting around thinking about
things that I just did not want to think about.
It is something how our minds will work, we will suppress things for years but when the
Lord feels it is time to deal with the situation, He will bring it to our minds and we will do
whatever we can to fight it off.
I was not saved when I was being this sister, and eventually to avoid the thinking as
much as I can, I became more of the Homebody and Bitter Sister to avoid doing
anything at all for anyone. It was a process for me to go through and it enabled me to
learn to enjoy when I have moments of being busy but yet remembering always to spend
time with myself and deal with the one person who needs Jesus the most in my life and
that is me!
My sisters, remember no matter what, this is a process and this is something that you
have to do within yourself, you need to spend that time alone and allow the Lord to
speak to you and bring you to where you need to be in Him. It is only in Jesus that you
will have joy and peace in your life.
Remember all things are possible in Jesus Christ – Philippians 4:13
Tips to defeat the Busy Sister:
§ Some of us are so used to running around all the time, that they are a PDA
person, or a person whose life runs by a calendar, so schedule some time for
you to just allow yourself to think
§ Focus, Focus, Focus - it is a blessing to do all that you do, you are organized,
time to organize your mind.
§ Cancel one thing that you were going to do at the drop of the hat, and lay in your
bed and just veg-out – in your vegging – listen to your heart, mind, body and
soul to see where you truly are.
§ Spend time with the family doing nothing but vegging with them
§ Spend quality time with hubby, doing whatever it is that he wants to do
§ If you cancel something that you were going to do, are you a wreck because you
“missed” something? Why not take a look at that aspect of your life?
§ FOCUS! The key to it all is the focus of being mindful of what we are doing and
why we are doing it.
§ Allow yourself time to sit and just think – think and think some more. Allow
yourself to do self examination and to really look at your strengthens and
weaknesses
§ Strengthen your prayer and bible reading life
§ Slow down my sister, enjoying life is great but don’t lose contact with those
around you.
§ Learn how to tell people NO!
Things to ponder:
§ One thing that is serious to consider is that you can alienate yourself from others
by never being available, especially for your family because you are doing so
much for the church.
§ Married sisters – remember this…Ephesians 5:22 and I Corinthians 7:34, as a
married woman, your first priority is your home, husband and family after your
relationship with God
§ You can get into a habit of running so much, that when you are blessed to meet a
man that you find you have no time for him as you have a full schedule
§ In your alienation, you become bitter, fool yourself into waiting for Mr. Perfect not
Mr. Right for me, or you make it so no one can even begin to get close to you.
§ If you are married, are you causing more issues in your marriage because you
are so busy and not available for the family
§ Are you meeting the needs of your relationship with the Lord
§ Are you meeting the needs of your family/spouse
Exercises:
1. Really look inside of who you are, spend about 1 hour at least with no one talking
to you, for a lot of us that is in our bedroom after the kids are in bed. Do not go
right to sleep allow yourself to relax and talk to the Lord and hear what He is
saying to you this day! The Lord always has a word for us – all we need to do is
to be still to hear it.
2. Take an organizational tips class or look on line for organizational tips on how to
be organized, sometimes our busyness is due to poor planning

Chapter Six – Busy Body Sister

The Busy Body Sister Scripture: I Peter 4:15-16
15But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a
thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's
matters. 16Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him
glorify God on this behalf.
The Busy Body sister is very active in the church today along with the world. It is
something when you think about it, as she is very cunning sometimes and other times
very open with her busy self. There are many sisters who think what they are doing is
not being a busy body but “helping” or encouraging others, when in essence, if they took
the time to listen to what they are saying and reading more of the word of God to line up
with it, they would notice that they are truly against the Lord. A busybody does not love
those that she meets but in yet destroying those that she is “helping”
Look at things and see how you are, do you line up with being a busybody? Are you
giving your thoughts/opinions when they are not wanted? Many times we try to be
helpful but are not truly helpful because we are not listening to the direction of the Lord
in what we are saying. We need to pray and think about what we are saying and why we
are saying it prior to doing what WE think will help.
We need to take the time to make sure what we are saying not only lines up with the
word of God, but the tone we use, the delivery method that we say it in and truly in the
direction that we receive from the Holy Spirit. So many times we are so quick to not deal
with things in the manner that the Lord allows us to do things and take it upon ourselves
to give someone the word of God.
This sister needs to take into consideration what she is doing to the person that she is
helping, if you do not have words from God or direction from God to give to someone, it
is best to keep your mouth shut because you can set them down the wrong path in their
life. In doing so, you can lead the person to hell instead of heaven. Yes, you can lead
them to hell by not being the Christian God has called you to be, you can lead them to
hell because what you can say can set them to listening to the wrong doctrine. Now
should they be studied and know the word of God for themselves, yes they should, but
most times busy body sisters do not talk with those that are in the word of God because
they are not easily tempted to listen to them.
This sister’s own personal life most times is in shambles. She will prey on others
weaknesses to feel better about her own situation. She does not confide in others about
her situations as she tries to get others to confide in her. She often times does not
discuss her family at all unless it is in a positive light unless she is also the “Attention”
sister who thrives on being the center of all things.
We have to really do some self evaluation to ensure that we are not falling into the trap
of being a Busy Body sister. The word is clear on this issue for it is tearing down the
body of Christ not uplifting the body of Christ.
My personal walk as this sister: Praise the Lord, I was a busy body sister when I was
not saved and in the beginning of my walk with the Lord. When I came to the Lord, I
wanted everyone to know about the Lord so I got busy giving my advice to others on
what was wrong with their life, and trying to get them to see the light as I did.
I learned that you can not only offend but hurt people’s feelings by doing that and truly
not winning them over to the Lord or encouraging them to stay in the Lord. It is truly what
the Lord does not want us to do.
In time the closer I got to the Lord, the less I did it and now, it is about spreading the love
of the Lord, not my thought on what others should do but to spread the love of the Lord.
Yet there are times even now, the Lord directs my words to give as a response to a
sister’s statement which appears to dispense unwanted advice, but when the Lord
directs what you say it maybe unwanted by them buy necessary for them to hear.
Discernment and wisdom is truly necessary in our walk with the Lord when dealing with
others.
Tips to defeat the Busy Body Sister:
• Be mindful of your surroundings and what is being spoken to you. Listen first to
what a person is saying before you respond. Some times people are just seeking
to be heard and not asking for advice
• Listen to what the word of God is says, we are to love each other as ourselves,
would you want someone to do to you what you are doing to them.
• We all know a person who is a busy body, and they flock together. If you find
yourself surrounded by busy bodies, could it be that you are one too?
Things to ponder:
• No one is perfect, so when hearing things of others, why not pray instead of prey.
• When people approached Jesus with this kind of stuff, He gave the word and
ministered to them, never jumping in with their mess. We need to do more of
What Did Jesus Do instead of jumping in with others when they are talking about
others.
• If power of life and death is in the tongue, how many people did you kill today?
• Do you realize that the same judgment that you use on someone else is going to
be used on you? You have to answer for everything you do in the Lord – every
single thing, so what is the real deal with yourself, where are you sitting in the
Lord…more concentration on your walk and less on others walks will be a huge
benefit to whether you hear “Well done” or “I knew you not”
Exercises:
1. Search whom you are and allow the Lord to speak to you, allow the Lord to move
in your heart so that you have compassion and love for those that are going
through things
2. Pray for those that are coming to you to vent and learn to listen to them. Less is
more so many more times than saying something at all to them.
3. If you are finding it hard to flee gossip, stop talking to those that are always
talking about others

4. If you find that you have to be around them, change the subject to the love of the
Lord. Speak about Jesus all the time to make the conversation about Him.
5. When you hear things…start praying for the person that is being talked about
and the person who is doing the talking
6. Use your boldness in the Lord and gently in love correct the one who is speaking
about another sister or brother in Christ in a negative way
Chapter Seven – Co Dependency
Sister
The Co-Dependency Sister Scripture: Psalm 37:3-
5 3Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt
be fed. 4Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine
heart. 5Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass
The Co Dependency sister most times goes hand and hand with the Attention sister,
though she is also related to the Low Self Worth sister along with the Mother May I and
Mother Mode sisters. This sister takes her level of caring to an extreme point of caring
for people who depend on her, as it is usually a one sided relationship. These sisters
tend to have friends, family, companions and even husbands who often exhibit
neediness for support emotionally, physically, financially, or have addictions such as
drugs and alcohol.
Co-Dependency can be passed down from generation to generation; it is an emotional

and behavior condition. In some circles, it is know as a relationship addiction because
the relationships are one sided most times with destructive behaviors. It has been said
by authorities that most women who are in some kind of abusive relationship is this
sister. She will do what she can to control, make excuses for, fell sorry for the person
who is in need because of her own desire to be needed and her fear of doing anything
that would jeopardize the relationship.
A sister who is a codependency sister will make excuses for the ones she loves to cover
up or might light of their downfall. She will excuse away why her son is stealing to pay
for drugs, she will make up stories as to why she has a black eye instead of admitting
that her husband is beating on her. She will try to make things all right even though they
are failing miserably.
This sister is truly not alone, millions of people are in this situation on a daily basis and if
you know someone who is this sister, reach out to her in love and give her as much
support as you can but remember to use tough love too. She is most times soft spoken
on the subjects at hand and really has a hard time admitting to the full picture of what is
going on even when faced with the entire picture at hand.
It takes the love of Jesus within you to be able to be what this sister needs to help her.
She needs encouraged to face the truth with some tough love at times. She needs to be
encouraged to call on God and listen to Him when He speaks to her.
One aspect that we really want to touch is if this sister is in an abusive situation, she
may not leave no matter what you tell her. You are to encourage her to see her worth in
life and see how special she is by giving her the word of God. You want to be a friend
that she will come to in her time of need yet you want to not become co dependant
yourself. Keep in mind that there are many factors underlying these situations and it is
necessary to keep an open mind and heart when dealing with this kind of sister.
Since most times this sister can not see this in herself, this chapter was written as a help
source for those that are related to, friends with, or even witnessing to sisters who are in
this category. If you recognize yourself in this sister, please go to the Lord and talk with

Him and feel free to contact us at WL4J (Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries) 1-877-205-
4524
My personal walk as this sister was not a pretty picture but God brought me through it
all. My mother was this kind of sister, she spent about 20 years in an abusive
relationship that left her beaten down for the rest of her life. She was never truly free
from the affects of that abusive relationship or the outcome of it either.
I was a product of her not handling that situation in the manner that it should have been
dealt with. My mother was very much aware of the abuse that was going on with me but
denied it due to her own insecurities and life. I was abused sexually from the age of six
to the age of sixteen by my step father. My life went on a downward spiral for a long
time, BUT GOD! He saved me and changed me. But I had to go through some things in
my life before that point.
My mother passed on that spirit to me and I married a drug addict, alcoholic for my first
husband. Everyone told me not to do it, but I had to do it, for I loved him. I wanted to
save him and all he needed was love and all I needed was someone to love me. It was a
mess from the door. After a few months of being beaten up and just taken advantage of
in all manners, we finally separated after a fight that left my insides like mush.
I ended up leaving him never to look back, as I saw my mother’s life ahead of me in that
manner and did not want to go down that road that I had been down with her. I am to this
day thankful to the Lord for steering me out of that relationship and bringing me to this
point in my life.
I allowed myself to be degraded to the point of being abused and put down on a daily
basis, never telling a single person, just telling myself it was the drugs, until it was not
just when he was not high but when he was high too. It was time to leave and after one
drawn out fight and a look in the mirror, I was blessed to get out of that relationship. My
second husband was not physically abusive but verbally and emotionally. Nothing I did
was good enough most times, but he would toss out a bone that would get me hoping
only to be down trodden yet again. I had got so used to the pain and hurt that I believed I
could not live without him. I had allowed my mind to tell me to end it all. BUT GOD
stopped me and I am here! Praise the Lord for His grace and mercy.
Many of our sisters are not listening to the Lord and I encourage any sister who is an
abusive relationship to take it to the Lord with their whole heart and find someone to talk
to. Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries has a toll free number and if you call us, we will call
you back. Please do not stay in that relationship, even if you are married to him. Let him
get the help he needs without you being around or involved as you need to get the help
you need to recover from it. (WL4J 1-877-205-4524)
God has blessed me and He has bless you too.
Tips to help identify a Co-Dependency Sister: (from the National Mental Health
Association)
• An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
• A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can
pity and rescue
• A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
• A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
• An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to
hold onto a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
• An extreme need for approval and recognition
• A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
• A compelling need to control others
• Lack of trust in self and/or others
• Fear of being abandoned or alone
• Difficulty identifying feelings
• Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
• Problems with intimacy/boundaries
• Chronic anger
• Lying/dishonesty
• Poor communication
• Difficulty making decisions
• Avoids arguments/disagreements
• Worries about what others think
• Lives with or subjected to different forms of abuse
Exercises:
No exercises provided in this chapter as this chapter is not for those that are faced with
Co-Dependency. For more information and help try doing a search on line for Co-
Dependency issues and learn as much as you can so that you will be able to be an
effective help to those sisters in need.

Chapter Eight – Demand/Do It

Myself Sister
The Demand/Do It Myself Sister Scripture: Psalm
121:1-2 1I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. 2My help
cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
The Demanding/I’ll Do It Myself sister can kill relationships that we have in Christ and
outside of Christ. This sister has a serious situation that needs to be dealt with. This
sister walks around saying how she can do it, she needs no one at all to help her
because she has everything under control, even when her life is spinning out of control.
She could be walking around saying that no one does it right or that it is just easier to do
it herself instead of letting others do it for her. She is that strong independent sister that
needs no one to do a thing for her. She can be single, she can be married, she can be
any woman at all, all backgrounds and life situations. She is can be a real close sister to
the Bitter Sister in many situations. This sister is truly not trying to get help from anyone
about anything.
This sister can also be one who is all about herself and not about helping others, along
with not allowing others to help her. What she does not realize is that she is being selfish
in this stance. How is doing things yourself being selfish? You are not learning to trust
others to be there for you…the ones that God is sending you to help you.
Do you remember the story about a man who is in a sinking boat, and prayed to Jesus to
come down and save Him? He prayed to the Lord to come and save Him because He
needed Jesus to come right then, his prayer went forth. The man sat and waited. As he
was waiting, three boats came past and told him to come aboard; he declined them and
said he would be fine. In his mind, he saying I am waiting on Jesus to come. Well after
the 3rd boat begged him to come aboard, and he declined, they left and 20 minutes later
he drowned.
When he met Jesus, he asked Jesus why did He allow him to drown, and Jesus told him
that He sent 3 boats to save him with the last one begging him to get on, but yet he
refused. The entire point is that sometimes the Lord sends people our way to help us
and if we do not accept the help, we are denying the Lord the opportunity to bless us in
the manner that He chooses to do so.
We can not sit around asking God to bless us and then reject that blessing because we
did not like the form that it came in. It is a slap to the grace of God to do so.
Oh my, my personal walk with this sister is still a struggle to this day. The Board of
Directors of WL4J will agree with me whole heartily on this topic. I can sympathize with
any woman who has this kind of personality because even as I type this I still struggle
with her. Praise the Lord, not as bad as I used to do, but yet and still I struggle with her.
It is truly through the prayers of those close to me along with my own prayers that I have
come this far. Let me explain…I was married twice to men who were not strong men so
to speak, they did not stand up to the over bearing spirit in me. I wanted things my way
and only my way. I did not accept any other manner of anything that they done.
I wanted it my way or the highway. I believe this all steamed from not being in control of
my life for so long that when I did take control, I took complete control. It was not a good
thing at all.
As I moved closer to the Lord, He started sending people in my life to tell me that I was
doing that and showing me how it was destroying relationships that had at that time and
past relationship. It was not a pretty picture, but self examination or soul searching most
times is not.
Even still I have issues with handing things over for WL4J along with giving things over
to the hubby. The biggest struggle that I have is the financial piece, I am so used to
doing it alone, but now need to turn it over to the Lord and my husband. It is not easy but
when I find myself struggling with it, I start to pray to the Lord to help me not think of it as
a negative thing but as a growing experience. As I want to grow in Jesus.
This is still a process that is in the works and may the Lord continue to bless the growth
in me to come completely out of it.
Tips to defeat the Demanding Sister:
• Pray and talk to Jesus before turning anyone down

• Realize that you are NOT superwoman and by acting in this manner, everyone
will always expect you to be this way
• Pray some more because to change this kind of personality trait, it is going to
take some serious prayer and fasting
Things to ponder:
• Are you tired at the end of your days because you have so much going on, have
you ever thought that giving some of that stuff over to others to do would help
you in that situation
• Jesus will use whomever He wants to use, why not allow Him to help you in the
manner that you need help
• You could be entertaining an angel that is offering to help you and not only
offending God, but refusing a blessing
Exercises:
1. The first step is to understand that accepting help from others is accepting help
from the Lord.
2. Listen to the Holy Spirit directing you, pray for discernment on this subject so that
you can tell who is sent by God to help and who is sent by the enemy to destroy,
which means to build your relationship with the Lord
3. When faced with challenges and things that need to be done, start out by
reaching out to those that are closest to you, if they are used to you saying no,
they will be overjoyed that you asked them for help

4. Remember sometimes the Lord sends angels in disguise to us to do things for us

and to have us to do things, you maybe entertaining an angel and to deny them
is like denying Jesus.
Remember that no matter what – God is with you. This is a process and you can come
through this in the manner that the Lord wants you to as long as you are seeking Him. It
is okay to start off with small tasks and recognize that you are not superwoman. Some
things are not going to be the way you want it done, breathe and move on. This is a
control behavior and we must come to the understanding that Jesus is in control and
follow His lead in all aspects of our lives. The more we submit to Him, the more He
increases in our lives and we decrease. The key is more Jesus and less self.
Chapter Nine – Don’t Do
Anything Sister
Don’t Do Anything Sister Scripture: Proverbs
21:24-26 24Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who dealeth in proud wrath. 25The
desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour. 26He coveteth greedily all
the day long: but the righteous giveth and spareth not.
The Don’t Do Anything is lazy, and slothful. This sister is a straightforward, cut and dry
sister as this sister literally does nothing. She is either waiting on the Lord to send her a
man who will do everything for her as she wants him to take care of her because she
considers herself high maintenance and worth the cash, or she is married to a man who
does everything for her and he wants her to go back to work, volunteer or just do
something constructive.
We are not talking about stay at home moms and their very purpose is to be that. We
are not talking about women who are disabled and receiving financial help from the state
or a sister who was blessed with money that enables her to not work. We are talking
about women who refuse to take care of themselves, and there are the two types of
sisters who fall under this category, one whom works and one who does not.
This sister can be a sister who has gone as far as not even working, living off the system
or past pension. This sister can say that she is disabled and not receiving an SSI check
but she will not work. She feels that she is entitled to a good life and has nothing to offer
a man at all except for sex.
This sister can be a sister who works, but states when she is married, she is done, she
is not working and if she continues to work, HE is paying for everything because her
money is her money.
This sister is considered also a “gold digger” and truly not living the Proverbs 31 Virtuous
woman motto but rather the motto of another sort that is truly not of God. “Use what I
have to get what I want” and this is not always a lasting relationship with a man whether
married or single.
This sister does not take pride in whom she is and in some cases has the opportunity to
improve herself such as returning back to school but prefers not to miss her soap
operas. Some of these sisters hide behind having children, yet and still does not do
anything with her children either. She will do whatever she can to get out of work. Her
financial status in life is not based on anything that she has done, she either has a
husband who works or she is collecting a check.
This does include the sisters who are blessed not having to work to take care of
themselves but yet and still not giving back to the community or those around them. The
Lord has a service for all of us to do and for those that are blessed to be in the financial
status to no longer have to work, they should be doing a service for those around them
in the name of Jesus for the word says we are to help each other.

These kinds of sisters are never one to help out in anything that is going on but are
really close to the Busy Body sister who is either themselves or their best friends. These
sisters are in serious need of our prayers. The Lord has called us out of laziness and we
are to break that mold and get to work for Jesus.
Praise the Lord – the Don’t Do Anything Sister. Let me say this, this sister I was/am not.
I was not this sister to this degree but I was starting to have her mentality and thank you
Jesus for a saved mother who did not allow me to go here in this manner, but I was
headed here my sister. Some sisters are this sister and some sisters headed to be this
sister, let us be in the word of God and praying for our sisters like this.
Tips to defeat the Don’t Do Anything Sister:
§ Change your focus from you to Jesus

§ Focus on Jesus
§ Focus on Jesus
§ Focus on Jesus – Focus on Jesus
§ If you are not working – get a job, find a job, watch someone’s children for pay,
do something besides watching television all day and telling working sisters how
bored you are
§ Come to know the Lord with you whole heart and know that living life abundantly
in Him is true but it is not all about the money either
§ Stop telling your working friends how bored you are, if you are bored do
something about it
Things to ponder:
§ A marriage is not one way – it takes two to work at it and build it and selfishness
is NOT going to help any
§ We are all made with the capabilities to go to work and do a job until the Lord
sees fit for things to be different
§ Notice that the last comment said “until the Lord” sees different
§ It is not about you but Jesus
§ Where is your walk with the Lord that you are full of so much self wanting and not
enough giving
§ There is more to life than the couch, shopping, and your friends
Exercises:
Soul Searching…look within yourself and see what God has for you in Him
Chapter Ten – Fantasyland Sister
Fantasyland Sister Scripture: Deuteronomy 13:2-4
2And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he
spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods,
which thou hast not known, and let us serve them; 3Thou shalt not hearken unto the
words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to
know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 4Ye
shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and
obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.
This chapter is geared more towards are single sisters but yet our married sister may
remember and learn a thing or two also.
This sister is living in a dream that there is a perfect man for her and that all the men that
she has met had too much wrong with him to be the one sent by God.
This sister is so specific in her request for a man, though we are to be specific in our
requests to the Lord, that she has an illusion of thinking that this man exists. She has
placed more “I will not have” on the list than there are “I will accept”.
This sister relaxes in the fact that it is NOT her, as there is nothing wrong with being
specific and knowing what she wants in a man. No there is nothing wrong with being
specific and knowing what you want in a man as long as your expectations are realistic
in Jesus and grounded in the Lord and not your own thinking.
If this sister is a married sister, she has this fantasy that her husband is to be one
specific way, never stopping to think that it could be her that needs to be changed. She
believes that she is the one that is doing all the right and if he would just get this one
thing straight, their marriage would be fine.
My personal walk as this sister: As a single sister, I had put so many limitations on the
Lord when I was available to start seeing people again. Because of all the pain and hurt
in my life, when I was not saved, I did not have a standard, but as I started to accept the
love of the Lord, I started to raise the bar, but then started raising the bar just a little too
high. I wanted to have a man who had it all meanwhile, I did not have it all. As I started
listening to the Lord more, I heard His voice telling me to let go, so I did. I figured if I
could not have a man with all that I had on that list, that I did not want a man at all.
Well that was not what the Lord meant for me to do, and boy did I learn the hard way to
listen to His direction in relationships. He sent Minister Merv who did not possess
anything that I thought I wanted in a man, but yet he did as I did not see it right away
because my list was not the list God had for me. As I came closer to the Lord, I saw that
my list changed and Minister Merv fit that list. Praise the Lord! I did not make it easy on
him during our courtship, but the Lord knew I would not do so and made sure that
Minister Merv had the qualities that I needed from a man during that time.
Now that we are married, the Lord has reminded me on several occasions that I still
want to go by “my list” in our marriage instead of by God’s list. As time moves forward in
our marriage, I am seeing the God’s list is the most important list and not my own list. By
going by God’s list, I am able to love my husband in the manner that he needs along
with in the manner that I need. It is truly the love of the Lord that molds us which makes
the difference in our lives.
Tips to defeat the Fantasyland Sister:
• Has it ever come across your mind that you cannot ask for what you are not.
There is a story of a man who was waiting on a woman sent from God but for this
writing, we are going to flip the switch to a woman waiting on a man sent from
God. This sister prayed for God to bless her with a man that was kind, open
minded, patience, loving, active, handsome and outgoing. As she prayed daily to
God for this man to come, each day she added yet another trait that she thought
she needed to have in a man.
One day after many years of praying, she finally asked God why she was still
single. The Lord answered her by saying to her; you want a man who is patience
when you are not. You want a man who is kind when you are not. You want a
man who is active when you are not, you want a man who loves when you do not
and you want me to send him to you when a man like this is praying for a woman
who has those same qualities. As soon as a man is available that is all that you
want and requesting a woman who is unloving, uncaring, not patience, and
unkind, you will receive your man. The point of this is we are busy trying to get
what we want instead of being what we need to be in the first place.
• Has it crossed your mind that you are putting unnecessary stipulations in place
that are not needed. I remember asking sending out a request from sisters in
Christ about what they wanted in a man and what they would not accept. I
wanted to see what sisters were looking for in a man. I was even more interested
in seeing what they would not accept. It is something how we are quick to cut
things to the bone and wonder why we are still waiting.
Now yes, we can be specific in our prayers to the Lord and He will give us our
heart’s desires when we doing His will but yet my sisters I wonder on a regular
basis if some of what we want is truly His will for us. Some sisters will not accept
a man who is NOT a Pastor or Minister. Some sisters will not accept a man
because he is too tall or too short. Some sisters will not accept a man because
he is too big or too skinny. Some sisters have gone as far as not accepting a
brother if he does not make so much money a year.
Well there is one thing I have learned, if God blesses you with a man that comes
in your life who is too short, too tall, too thin, too fat, too this or that and God
blesses you with that man accept him because he is all that you need. Too many
sisters are not open with their thoughts on what they should have in a man. This
does not mean you have to run out and find the worse man ever and wait for God
to bless you, it just means to remain open and not closing your mind to different
aspects that maybe presented to you.
Things to ponder:
§ Listen to the Lord in all that you do, hear what He is directing you to do in your
life
§ Open-mindedness – keep your mind open and available to possibilities in the
Lord. By keeping your mind open, you will not put limitations on the Lord in your
life
§ To change is also a thought process, some times reminding ourselves of who we
are and where we came from is even more important than where we are in our
lives to help us focus on where we are going
§ Remember that you are not perfect and cannot expect to have a man who is
perfect. This does not mean that he cannot excel at some areas better than you
can. For example, you have poor money management skills and he does not, or
even the fact that he is more patience than you are for some of his good qualities
will bless you to increase in those areas too. What the issue comes in is when he
can have no faults whatsoever. This is a conception that some sisters fall into.
They find the negative in everything.
§ Start looking at things in a positive manner, seeing a persons faults as an
opportunity to help them or be a blessing to them and not as a hindrance to
yourself
Exercises:
1. This exercise can be done by single and married sister, for our married sisters,
this exercise is a little longer for you are going to add a list of qualities in your
husband and rate them as things you have a problem with, then you are going to
pray to the Lord to show you how to deal with those areas that you have issues
with in him. Pray that the Lord shows you what you can do to make a difference
in the relationship in a positive manner.
2. This exercise is to make reality list. The reality list is a list of things qualities you
like about yourself, qualities you dislike about yourself, qualities you will not
accept in a spouse, qualities you want in a spouse, and things about him you
could careless about.
Now look over the list, what do you see? Is the list of what you could careless
about bigger than the list of what you want in a spouse, even that is somewhat
uneven and is it very honest? When you are looking at your lists, you should see
some kind of a balance. If any list is bigger than the other, reevaluate and see
why you are putting qualities where you are placing them.
This is yet again more searching of oneself and really importantly listening to the
Lord. Pray before doing this list, open your heart and mind to the truth and hear
what the Lord is saying to you while you are doing this exercise. It is the Lord
who will direct you in what needs to be changed, what needs to be altered from
the list and how to grow more in Jesus.
3. As always being in Jesus and listening to His direction is where we want to be.
We do not want what we want but what He wants for us. Most times what we
think we want is not as good as we think it will be for when we get it, we no
longer want it or it is not what we think it is. We sure do not want to make that
mistake in marriage for a Christian marriage is until death due us part.

Chapter Eleven – Homebody

Sister
Homebody Sister Scripture: 1 John 1:6-7 6If we say
that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: 7But
if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the
blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
The Homebody sister is found in any sister, single or married, it does not matter, the trait
is a trait that is hard to break but it will be very rewarding when it is broken.
This sister goes to work, goes home, and goes to church. She has no social life outside
of her home. She can have children or not have children. Even if she has children, she is
still a homebody. Her children play outside but she rarely takes them anywhere outside
of the home. She can have a husband or not have a husband, either way she is still a
homebody.
This sister if single believes that her future husband will approach her in church, work or
even the grocery store. This sister feels that since women are not to “search” for her
husband, she is better off just being at home. This sister is uncomfortable in crowds and
being in unfamiliar places. If she is married, she could cause problems with her husband
if he is not a homebody, she could be opening a door of infidelity by not supporting her
spouse by attending functions with him.
Some of these sisters do not do anything alone besides errands such as dinner, movies,
nail salon or things of that sort. Some of these sisters will do some of these things but
not often because comfort comes from the home. She will use the excuse of not having
the time, being tired or not having the money to do anything on a regular basis.
These sisters hide behind the word of God as a shield to the outside world, believing that
saved sisters do not go to the movies, or do not go out to eat alone. Some believe that
they cannot do anything out in the real world because of the dangers of the world. Some
have found solace on the internet and some shun the internet as a major sin.
The key to all of this for the homebody sister is to get out the house. If a sister starts out
doing little things to get out the house, in time, she will no longer be a homebody, but do
not do so much that you become a busy sister.
Some sisters are really shy or unsure of themselves; you cannot make a difference in
that area of your life if you do not get out the house and do something.
There are tons of opportunities to break the mold, by doing things for you and getting out
of the house.
As much as I do not like to admit to it, I was this sister and sometimes still get in the
mood and fall into being a homebody sister. When I was growing up, I spent all my time
alone. Due to my upbringing, I kept away from other people, to keep them from finding
out what was happening to me in my household. I did not want people to find out as I
was told that my mother and siblings would die if I did. So I kept to myself thinking that it
was saving their lives. It became a habit.
When I was in my late teens, the need to have boyfriends and social pressure led me to
hanging out. I started to hang out but into my late 20s I wanted to be married and to
have children. I slowed down because my mom said no man wanted a hoochie mama,
so I had to slow down. I went right back to isolation, right back into loving being alone. I
did not go out much. I did not meet my first or second husband on my own but through
other people. I was so used to being alone, yet I was longing for marriage and
companionship.
With a drug addict, alcoholic as a husband, I kept myself away from family. I fell back in
to solitude and it was easy when you have things to hide from others. I did not have a
computer back then but I always liked to read and write, so I wrote a lot and read a lot.
After the divorce from my first husband, I went even deeper as I was depressed and
really wanted to get things together in my life but I kept basing my life on men and not
Jesus. I kept spending time alone more and more until I was out of touch with life.
I was so used to being alone, that I did not want to go anywhere or do anything. All I did
was go to work and home. I had migrated to not even going to the grocery store alone, I
would get someone to go with me everywhere. I did not go anywhere alone, I started
getting paranoid and thought people were always talking about me. I did not like myself
at all so I hid from the world as I hid from myself.
After meeting my second husband, I started going out more with him and doing things,
but once we adopted our son, that was over. I ended up being home all the time with my
son alone. His father was out and about, which was not what I wanted, but then it was as
I like being left alone. I did not want to deal with all the aspects of being married, or
dealing with him at all. I did not want the marriage to end but I did not want to be married
either. I enjoyed my solitude.
When Jonathan was a baby, I upgraded my computer and my knowledge of what was
going on with the internet. So the more he stayed away, the more I went into myself. I
was on the computer playing games, I became addicted. My son was first priority when
he was awake, but when he went to bed, I would be up until the wee hours of the
morning. So on the nights that my second husband was home, he would go to bed very
unhappy as I was on the computer not wanting to spend time with him. I had found my
newfound friend. I was accused of cheating on him with men on line but I did not go to
those sites, I rarely talked to anyone at all.
When my second husband stepped up his cheating with several women, I would fuss
because of wanting to save face, as he was missing family gatherings to be with his
girlfriends. But when there was no family gathering, I could careless. I could do what I
wanted when I wanted and not be interrupted. My son was in bed by 9 PM and my
husband at the time most times did not come in before 3 AM if he came in at all.
When our marriage was over, I had sunk into a deep depression and really relied on the
computer games for company. After I came to open my heart and mind to the Lord, I
was out more by going to church. I started not only going to church but also getting out
with other people, I felt an opening in me. I wanted to talk to people and be around them.
I started writing more about the Lord. I started reaching out to others because I really

needed the company and someone to talk to. I needed to feel like I was giving to others
what I received from the Lord.
I came out of my shell in Jesus and still coming out of that shell and love being around
others and going out to do things. God is good!
It is a process my sisters, it is a process and in time with determination to do God’s will,

you will come out of it too.
Tips to defeat the Homebody Sister:
• Address all those things listed above and get out the house!
• One way to get out the house is to join different social groups and go to the
meetings, join different committees in the church and fellowship, this will begin to
break things down for you more to enable you to open up to people and have
fun, which will bring you out of the house more.
• The internet/computer is a tool, not your best friend
Things to ponder:
• How can you reach the world with the word of God and not venture out to see
those that are in the world for you to minister too
• You have attended the same church for years, he has been there for years too, if
he has not asked you out yet, chances are he will not
• Most Christian women meet their spouses not at their home church or even in
church
• The man for you is NOT going to drop from heaven into your living room, so stop
fixing up when the cable guy comes because you think he might be cute
• You have to go out and be active to meet people
• If you are a parent, you could be hindering your child’s social skills by not
exposing them to other avenues besides the front yard
• If you are married, you may be tempting your husband to step outside of your
marriage for companionship, or to be in front of the television and forget that you
are alive and need his love
• If your husband is one that likes to be on the go, it could improve your marriage if
you are with him as he goes around visiting and doing things
• Spring and Summer time is meant for enjoyment not just your front porch
Exercises:
1. If you are a mother, instead of your kids playing in the yard, take them to the
local park or playground. If it is right in your neighborhood, walk with your kids to
the park and hang out there, spend time with your children outside of the home.
The kids will have fun and so will you.
2. If you have, no children or children are at the age that hanging with you is just not
what they want to do, then try doing volunteer work. The local libraries, hospitals,
and senior citizen homes to name a few are always looking for volunteers. You
will be active, meeting people and you just never know either.
3. If you are completely shy, try going with others to different places and not always
telling them that you are busy. If a friend calls and invites you to go out to dinner,
make the time and go, do not give excuses. The key for this sister is to get out of
the house and live a life amongst those outside of her home.
Remember my sister; you are not alone in this. If you really feel that you cannot go out
alone, please hang out with some sisters from church or co-workers. If you have no
friends, as some of us do not, seek out a relative to hang out with, or even step out on
faith and do some volunteer work. You will meet more people and truly have more fun in
life. God did not mean for us to be bump on the logs and not enjoy our life.

Chapter Twelve – Hunting Sister

Hunting Sister Scripture: Proverbs 18:22 Whoso
findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth
favour of the LORD.
The Hunting Sister is usually a sister that is single, but she also resides in sisters who
are married. Let us go over the Single Hunting Sister first and then discuss the Married
Hunting Sister.
The Single Hunting Sister: This sister is focused on NOT being single that her entire
life is centered on trying to get married and not be single. This sister can end up
searching in all the wrong places for her mate. This sister is not just unsaved sisters of
the world, but more of our Christian sisters are going to the world for a mate. This sister
sometimes ends up going places she should not go to meet a man. She is in the
bars and clubs – clubbing it up, trying to meet a man for her. Well besides the fact that
she should not be in the clubs/bars in the first place, a good man is not going to be found
in the bar and clubs for a child of God. God is not going to send you to a club to meet a
man for you, not something that He would tell you to do, why because it is against His
word. We are to be separated from the things of this world. When we cross that line and
try to bring Jesus with us, we will lose Him at the door for the Lord does not dwell in
places that are not His. The bars/clubs are the domain of the enemy, not God.
Therefore, if you meet a man in the club and he says he is saved – red flags should go
up!
This sister will hook up with a man that is not already with the Lord, she will look to the
world for her fulfillment in her life for marriage. The word of God says in “2 Corinthians
6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
Ask a sister who is married to an unsaved man and how she prays constantly for him to
come to Christ. It is not how God intended us to be. (To my sisters who are married to
unsaved men, this is in no way a bad reflection on you and we are praying for your
husbands to come to Christ just as you are! Please reach out to your sisters in Christ
who are single and tell your story too) Too many sisters believe we can “love” him to
Christ; it is not our love that brings him to Christ but the love of Jesus. He is to be the
head of the household and needs to be in line with the word of God for himself first!
This sister mentions marriage early on in the relationship, in most cases scaring men off.
She is not sure if he is a good man or not but with the mentioning of marriage in the first
few months of courtship, most men are ready to start looking elsewhere. She fails to
realize that the marriage is not the time to get to know someone but to enhance the
already full bloom relationship. She does not want to take the time during courtship to
get to know this man. She just knows her clock is ticking and she wants to get married
and have kids before it is too late. Her concentration is on having a family, not realizing
that she needs to know the man that she believes she want to build her family on.
If this man is willing to commit and marry this sister after a few months of courtship,
there are things that are not being revealed and a good sound decision is not going to be
made. It is clear that the Lord is not being sought in this relationship because God is a
God of order and decency. Things must be done in God’s time, not ours.
This sister is related to our Sneaking Sister but she is not sneaking in about what she is
doing. Every man she meets is “the one” and she carries herself this way with each man
she meets. She brings him in front of her family, so happy to “have someone” at the
family function. It does not matter what people tell her about him either, she feels he is
right for her. She needs to listen to her family and know that most times they are right.
She is quick to give him all of her, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually
without even knowing where he is in his life. She feels that she will keep plugging away
until “the one” comes into her life that one of these guys has to be him. She is so serious
about getting married, she believes any man is better than no man is and may even
marry the wrong man because of it. Remember God hates divorce and it is not to be
spoken in the marriage of a Christian even if you are a Christian and he is not.
This sister needs to come to realization that nothing she is doing is going to bring a
Godly man to her. She has to come to terms with the fact that she has to take her focus
off herself and place it on the Lord. She has to understand Matthew 6:33 and live it. She
has to truly line herself up with the word of God and see where she is – make the
necessary adjustments to her lifestyle. This sister is most likely masking other sisters
within herself and these areas need to be addressed before she can move forward in
being a Content Sister.
The Married Hunting Sister: Most times the married hunting sister was previously a
single hunting sister whom has some things that she has never dealt with. She may not
actually act on the act, but she is always searching and looking “just in case”, things do
not work out in her marriage.
She thrives on the hunt/chase of getting the man’s attention. She wants to know that she
is all that to someone. Sometimes her husband is not affectionate enough for her, or she
is just one that has a need for adoration from many others.
This sister will flirt with men subtle or just bold with it. She is really just like the single
hunting sister except she is married. She may not commit adultery, but have on several
occasions daydreamed about it, or thinking about doing so on a regular basis,
sometimes to the point of fantasizing about other men while being intimate with her own
husband.
She has had dreams/fantasies of being with more than one man at a time to feed that
hunger within herself that needs to be feed. With these things in her mind and
sometimes in her heart she is close to being the Sneaking sister if she is not in prayer
about this situation.
The enemy is slick and will attack this sister’s marriage to give her the thought that it is
okay that she does step outside of her marriage, yet not only taking the chance of
ruining her marriage but possibly having her step away from the Lord for all eternity.
(See the Sneaking Sister Chapter for more on the sexual aspect of this step.)
My personal walk as this sister: My personal walk in this sister lead to my two
unequally yoked marriages that ended up not only in divorce but sending me through so
much unnecessary pain and hurt in my life. This sister was with me since I was old
enough to know what attention from a man does and gets me. It is something that the
moment I received my freedom from the abuse in my life, the steps to being this sister
started in my life.

I thought I was not going to be complete until I got married and had my own family. I
thought that my completeness came in a man, that I could not be complete without one
in my life. I thought I would be happy and finally worth something when someone loved
me and gave me the love that I needed.
I did not know then that I needed to be saved and the man I was hunting for was Jesus.
Now during this time, in the beginning, I went to church on a regular basis. I was hearing
the word of God but not allowing myself to believe it or live it. I tried for a minute, but the
men just looked too good to me. Eventually I walked away from the church to pursue a
life of happiness with a man.
I met my first husband, desperate and with low self esteem, oh well, I married him. It did
not work and lasted 2 years, with only 1 ½ years in the same house. Yet, about a year
later, I met my 2nd husband, oh my goodness, I just thought I hit the jack pot. I did not
give him “any” the first month, yet I eventually did. I thought he was the one. Well
needless to say, he was not. It was my desire to not be alone, to have a husband that
lead me to these bad marriages. (for more detail on my marriages – read my book, The
Truth of Alissa Lynne – I)
The Hunting Sister ended up turning me to being the Sneaking Sister who in turn ended
up being a serious hoochie mama! I did things in that stage that were just degrading to
me as a woman and you will need to read Sneaking sister to see what I mean.
To my single sisters: There is nothing wrong with being single; Paul even said we should
be this way because our focus is to serve the Lord when we are single, whereas when
we are married it is our spouse who is our focus. (I Corinthians 7:6-9) God let us know
that in God we are complete. I went years with pain and hurt inside of me thinking that if
someone would love me I would be so happy. I married two men that did not truly love
me, nor did I love them, as I should, to wake up at the age of 35 years old – lonely, hurt,
and depressed yet again. It was not until I came to the Lord to know that I am blessed,
and it was love of the Lord that I was seeking. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be
married, but how we go about it makes the difference.
To those that have family members who are this type of Sister, have patience with them.
It is not easy when you see your family member go down this road repeatedly, but
encourage them to come to know the Lord with their whole heart. Encourage them to
know that they are worth more than broken promises and lousy moments in time that will
not matter in 6 months. We have to continue to pray for them and just try to keep your
mouth shut. It is not easy but sometimes you have to distant yourself to keep quiet.
Tips to defeat the Hunting Sister:
• Look within yourself and truly see whom you are and why you are acting in this
manner. Take it to the Lord in prayer and seek to make changes within yourself
to line up more to the word of God and less to the calls of your flesh and your
desires! God wants us to have our heart’s desires but our hearts have to line up
with Him first.
• Most times the pains/hurts of our past have placed us in a place that when we
look around, even we do not know how we are yet again: alone, brokenhearted,
and yet again falling into the same trap.
• Have a good cry, look in the mirror, know that you are tired of this mess, and
deserve better. I can sit here and write how worthy you are in Jesus, how
awesome God is in our lives, but until you look in that mirror and see what He
sees, you will continue to make this mistake. You are looking for love in a man –
not THE MAN – Jesus Christ.
Things to ponder:
§ Why would God send you a man who is NOT in His word, not even trying to live
His life according to the word of God?
§ Why would God bless a union that you started living outside of His word by being
in the bars/clubs and this man is truly still living in the bars/clubs as you are trying
to line yourself up with the Lord?
§ Why would God’s word say that you are not to be unequally yoked with someone
and link you up with someone who is not saved?
§ When you are in the clubs/bars or that man’s bed, are you thinking this is not
right? Why not get out or up then, what holds you there?
§ Aren’t you worth someone who loves you and not just there because you do not
want to be alone?
§ What is wrong with being alone and waiting?
§ What do you think you are missing by being alone?
§ Why can’t you change your focus, does your need outweigh your love for God?
§ What are you truly afraid of?
§ If you are married, why risk all that the Lord has blessed you with for a
relationship or moment that could send your entire world into a downward spiral?
Exercises:
Single Sisters
1. Ask a girlfriend that you talk to on a regular basis to gently remind you when you
meet someone to slow down
2. When you meet a man – breathe and stop seeing the wedding dress
3. Spend time alone doing things that YOU like to do, not things that bring you in
contact with men. Such as going to football games, because there are men there!
4. Open the bible and read instead of searching the online ads on a dating site.
5. Spend some times alone with yourself allowing your mind to search the past
relationships and see your errors and work on improving them.
6. Seek friendship with other sisters in Christ who are single and going through the
pangs of singleness, this will help you to be able to open up and express yourself
instead of holding it all inside.
7. Come to terms to what you are doing and realize that a man is not going to make
you complete, Jesus does.
8. Instead of thinking I am nuts and talking too much about grounding yourself in
Jesus – try Jesus first with your whole heart and then tell me I am nuts.

Married Sisters
1. Praying and fasting is truly needed, do not be ashamed in your thoughts as the
enemy is trying to use your mind against you. Praying and fasting before the Lord
is the first step to eliminate these thoughts
2. Spend some times alone with yourself allowing your mind to search the past
relationships and see your errors and work on improving them.
3. Spend time with your husband to work on your marriage, if he is not willing to do
so, spend more time in prayer and fasting
4. Talk to your pastor’s wife or a sister in Christ that you can talk with to help
release those thoughts in your mind so that they do not fester too long
5. The Lord always provides a way to flee temptation, make sure you are listening
to the Lord when He directs you to flee
6. If the hunting temptation is strong, do not place yourself in situations where you
can do as such
7. Talk to your husband about what you are feeling, it is the open communication
that will bring you closer and destroy the holds that the enemy is trying to place
on your marriage. As husband and wife, you are to be one in Jesus, secrets are
damaging in a relationship if they are causing you to stray from the marriage
8. Focus on what you can do to be a better wife to your husband as God wants you
to be
9. Fight the enemy’s attacks by focusing on the Lord and not allowing your mind to
dwell on the thoughts in your mind
10. Realize daily that this is all a process and you have strength in the Lord when
you lean on Jesus.
Chapter Thirteen - Low-Self
Worth Sister
Low Self-Worth Sister Scripture: 1 Peter 2:9-10 9But
ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye
should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his
marvellous light; 10Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of
God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
By the definition in the dictionary: Self-Worth is the sense of one’s own value or worth as
a person. So it was interpreted by me as meaning what you think of your value to the
world, to those around you, to life in general.
The Low-Self Worth sister is a sister that took years or a few failed relationships to get
here. This is a sister that I know all too well and pray that my sisters who fall under this
sister come to see how beautiful they are in Christ.
This sister will find herself sometimes in abusive relationships one after another. It can
range from the types of abuse or it can be the same type of abuse each time. She
wonders why God is allowing this to happen to her but she is not seeing what God sees
in her.
This sister is more than just Low Self Worth type, she can and will be many other sisters.
She will take whatever a man dishes out to her even if she is fussing at him about it. She
never leaves him – she waits for him to leave her or gives her no option but to leave him
alone. This sister will use her body to get whatever it is she wants from men, she has no
idea how special she is in Christ.
This sister will also make excuses for the things that the people in her life does to her,
she will accept whatever he/she does and find that it was her fault in some manner. She
will justify it no matter how hard it hurts to do so.
This sister may have been abused in her childhood, she could have had a couple failed
relationships, or she could have always thought she was nothing because that was how
she was treated all her life. She tends to be reclusive and is afraid of allowing someone
to get to know the true her because she find that she has nothing to offer any one in both
relationships and friendships.
This sister rarely speaks up for herself and kind of a door mat for the dregs of society
because she tells herself she can look past the bad and see the good in someone. She
actually does this because she chooses NOT to see the bad because that means she
could be alone.
She wants someone to care for her so much, that she excuses the beatings, the mean
sayings and the harsh action or lack of love and the harsh words as the fact if she loves
him enough, she will be able to change him. This sister can be any sister from any
background or size. This truly a sister who has no idea how awesome in Christ she can
become. Yet, when someone gives her a compliment, she will often tell herself, “They
are just being nice.”

My own personal walk as this sister: As stated before, I know this sister oh to well. I
found that the only way I was able to come out of this was truly putting God first in my
life. Not listening to the words in my head that are negative and hurtful, but replacing
them with words of kindness and goodness always! It keeps my mind on Jesus and my
heart happy. It took a long time to get to that point in my life and there was no way I
would have made it to this point without the love of Jesus in my heart. It was truly the
love of the Lord that has brought me out of this sister.
As always, it is a process, I have to fight this sister on a daily basis. I have to remind
myself who I am in Jesus, not just who I am because my mind sees all the mess that I
have done to myself and to others, but to see who I am in Jesus. It is knowing that I am
more than a conquer, knowing that I am a royal priesthood, and chosen generation that
made the difference. I do not just know that I am someone special, but only that I am
someone special in the Lord. It is a fight in my mind; I am battling self and my thoughts.
This is why I tell myself daily who I am in Jesus, for it blesses my mind to let go of my
own negative thoughts.
It was not until I started reading the word of God and believing it for me did I get a better
understanding of the word, the more I talked to the Lord, and the clearer the words came
to me. As I started to understand the words, it was the faith in they were true that gets
me through it. Sometimes we read the word of God and do not believe it for ourselves,
we think that what is written is for others who are seeking the Lord but it does not apply
to us. We do not believe with our own hearts that God is there for us.
I remember prior to being saved, I had all the excuses in the book for why I stayed with
my ex husband and why I slept around with all the men that I did. I tried to play as if I
was some kind of “phat” sister who had it all together when inside I was crying so loudly.
I thought I was nothing, really not worth the time of day that is when I allowed myself to
think about it, most times, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head not wanting to
deal with them at all. It was in that pushing it back that I began to lose who I was and not
see who I am today. I did not want to face the past hurt, pain, and things of such
because that just reminded me of how awful I was.
I did not want to see me for who I was at all, I knew I was lost but did not want anyone
reminding me that I was lost, I did not want to think less of myself, but after “he” left for
the millionth time without so much as a backward glance, I thought this was enough. So
instead of doing one night stands and meaningless relationships, I started ‘hunting’ for a
husband and ended up in two of the worse marriages ever.
The marriages took me lower in my self worth for I figured if a drug addict/alcoholic did
not love me then no one would. I met my second husband and was talked about so
negatively that I felt like I was useless in all aspects, I sung into a deep depression that I
never thought I would get out of. As I sunk lower and lower, I know the prayers of my
mother went up to the Lord to save me.
I came to Jesus and thought all things would be all right, I did not read the word of God,
and did not pray unless I wanted something. It started falling apart; it started just caving
in on me. God in His awesome ways allowed me to sink to my lowest of lows because in
my weakness, He sends and show His strength. He saved me and brought me back
from destruction for not just my life but my son’s life too.
It is still a daily struggle to walk with the Lord, to look in the mirror and see beauty. I have
good day and bad days, but I am thankful that now almost 3 years later, I have a whole
bunch more good days than I have had bad days. I love Sister Alissa Lynne, just as she
is. Sure I want to improve myself and be a better sister in Christ, and with my daily self
worth thoughts, I am able to see improvement in me. It is truly a process that the Lord is
directing in me and truly He is the one making the changes, all I am doing is following
Him.
So how can you change this behavior – you can change it by not listening to the voice
that tells you that you are not worthy. You can change it by seeing that God loves you
just the way you are and He will always love you. You can change it by seeing who you
are in Christ and loving who you are. A good relationship with God is the only way you
are going to be able to see this and understand who you are in Jesus.
To come out of this sister, you have to break yourself from your past. You have to face
the facts of the things that have happened to you and why you allow these things to
continue to happen to you. If in any abusive relationship or have been in one, coming to
see what was going on during that time in your life. Facing the feelings of how you felt
when you were told you were not worthy it, that you were useless, or even just told you
were fat or ugly. To face the issues is a way to kill it so that you can start fresh in your
life.
Acknowledging that you are not where you should be by facing that woman in the mirror.
Truly spending time with the Lord and talking to the Father about who you are, what you
are, and where you can be in Him. You are to seek the Lord in your healing processes
and put forth the truth before Him as He already knows.
In looking to God’s word in all aspects of your life, you will truly come to see who you are
in Christ. I have read an excellent book after I came through this stage called “The
Wounded Woman” if this sister is you; I recommend this book, as there is healing in
dealing with the hurt and pain of our past. (Book name and Author listed at the end of this
chapter)
One important factor to remember to help yourself not fall into any “bad” relationship is to
know that you are worthy of real and true love, to see the beautiful you inside is
important to see.
Jesus loves all of us and He made all of us as we are. The trial and tribulations are
molding us into who we are to be in Him. If you have been through many things in life,
look around you and notice one thing – even if it seems like you are barely surviving, my
sister you are still alive and you are a survivor! Stand tall and know that God did not
bring you this far for nothing – you shall come out of this and be able to encourage other
sisters to stand tall too.
If you start to open up and encourage others to stand tall in Jesus, you will find strength
and encouragement. You will find that it is easier to talk about what you have been
through and how you are making it, even if you are struggling while you are moving
forward. It is not easy to face yourself but know that the Lord is with you and you shall
come through this too.
The enemy will place things in your mind that are not true, that will cause you to think
less of yourself, learn to tune those out by encouraging others, by encouraging yourself,

and by talking to God when you hear it. We are more than conquers and let us
concentrate on the more than part – you are not only an achiever or conquer – you are
more than that in Jesus. Lean on Him and seek His direction
Tips to defeat the Low Self-Worth Sister:

• Seek God with all your heart and soul
• Read the word of God daily
• Deliverance from this is possible
• This is a time for true soul searching to reach inside of who you are and come
face to face with the real you. No one can do this for you and no one can change
who you are, you must do it within
• If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage – GET AWAY! I am not saying
get out of the relationship but get out of the household and separate you from
that person until he receives serious help in counseling.
• Receive counseling to help you see what your situation is if you can not see it for
yourself
• Talk with friends and family – ask them to be honest with you and listen to what
they are saying
• Talk to someone about what you are feeling
• Try keeping a diary of your thoughts and moods, being brutally honest as no one
is going to read it. Afraid someone might read it by accident – write it up on line
and make it password protected – need help contact us at
contactus@womenliving4jesus.org
• You are not alone – tons of women suffer from this every single day, the secret is
to know that you are and fight back with all you have
• Get the Book “The Wounded Woman" written by Dr. Steve Stephens and Pam
Vredevelt If you can not find it in the store, or do not have the money, try your
local library! Or contact us at contactus@womenliving4jesus.org we will see if we
can get you the book. If you are thinking about suicide or killing – please seek
professional help.
• If you do not want to seek help from a doctor, please see your pastor, pastor’s
wife, elder in the church, or any seasoned Christian that you feel comfortable
with sharing what is on your heart and mind, most times talking is a huge help
Things to ponder:
• God made you special and able to over come all obstacles that come your way
• You are more than a conquer
• You are not a punching bag
• Your life is not to be an emotional roller coaster that is not what the word means
by being happy and content in whatsoever state you find yourself.
• Until you rid yourself of this, you will always have a lacking in your life
• Happiness does not come from a man but it comes from within yourself
• If you are a mother, you are passing this kind of negative thoughts onto your own
children
• Our children need to see positive and true role models, not a pretending mommy,
for they see right through that act
• Your negative thoughts about yourself can and will affect your marriage, whether
you are currently married or not
Exercises:
1. If you are not in the word of God daily, make a commitment to read His word
daily, at least one chapter a day
2. If you are not praying to the Lord on a daily basis, make a commitment to pray
upon waking up and upon going to bed every night, for at least 10 minutes each
night
3. Do you remember to “Look within yourself and let go of the things you think you
need to change in you, pray to God each day for Him to show you where you
need to improve and be ready to accept it.” Well continue to do so each week for
the Lord is the Potter and we are the clay!
4. If you are suffering from low self worth – look in the mirror every day and say to
yourself – I am blessed and Jesus loves me for who I am. I can come to Him as I
am and He still loves me for who I am and so can I (literally say this every single
morning or something of such motivation to you)
5. See the guidance of the Lord and hear what He is telling you about who you are
in Him.
6. Write a journal entry every single day
7. Trust more in God by reading more of His word and believing it for yourself, truly
getting the word of God inside of your heart
8. Join support groups, family fellowship, or any other groups or organizations that
promote positive thinking in Jesus

Chapter Fourteen – Mother May I

Sister
Mother May I Sister Scripture: Philippians 1:9-10
9And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all
judgment; 10That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and
without offence till the day of Christ.
The Mother May I Sister is a sister all in her own right. Remember playing Mother May I
as a kid, this sister runs the decisions in her life the same way. It is a mode that we get
into as children that sometimes sticks with us for the rest of our lives if we are not
mindful of the will of God in our lives.
Sometimes being this sister we are stuck in a place in our lives for a long time if not
forever because we have not yet learned to “walk by faith” in our lives. The Mother May I
sister places her faith and trust in people instead of the Lord. This type of behavior is
considered dangerous to the Christian whom is performing this type of quality in their
life.
The damage comes when the Lord tells us to do one thing and we sit and wait until
Sister Suzy tells us it is okay to do it, or we do not move because we are waiting for
someone else to tell us in the flesh. This is also considered to be seeking approval for
things that we do. Yet as a Christian the approval that we want to receive is from the
Lord and Jesus alone, not the world or any other Christian that we know.
It is important to remember that the Lord is our strength, He is our guide and direction
and in Him we are to be in.
My walk with this sister is in two parts, as an unsaved person and how it transferred over
to my saved life, along with how I still fight it to this day. The Mother May I Sister was
strong in my life until about 3 ½ years ago. She had a very strong hold on my life and
especially my walk in the Lord.
It started when I was a young girl, never really feeling like I fit in and wanting to fit in just
as any other child. I started doing things for attention as I felt like I was getting ignored.
My home life was not always the best so I started dwelling in never – never land just a
little too much. My mother took that as needing to be directed in all that I did, so she did
just that.
Whatever my mother said, I did. Whatever she said do not do, I did not do. Even in my
beginning stages of rebellion, I still pretty much did what my mother said. Well as I grew
older, the person I followed was whatever friend or boy friend I had in my life at the time.
If my girlfriends wanted to go out, I went, if they thought I should stop talking to some
guy, I did. If I was seeing a guy and he thought I should not hang out with my friends, I
did not. Yes and still when Mom said something about not doing something or doing
something, I did what she said. I did what everyone else said I should. I figured that it
would be the best because what do I know. I was told my entire life that I did not know
much and I could not do things so I believed it.
By the time husband number one came, I was tired of being bossed around, or so I
thought, and decided to make a decision on my own. Well I married my drug addict,
alcoholic boyfriend despite everything everyone told me not to do, even though as quiet
as it is kept, my mom encouraged me to do so. At the time, she was married to a drug
addict so misery loves company. Yet it was the wrong decision.
Yet, I kept trying to make decisions on my own and messing up, so I started listening to
people yet again. I met husband number two, and yet again listened to my friends telling
me how lucky I was to have him in my life, along with the fact that he was nothing like
my ex husband, or so I thought, so I married him. My mom told me not to marry him, but
I thought she was just jealous, because last time she encouraged me to marry so I knew
I was not going to listen to her this time. Well needless to say, that did not work out
either.
Yet the blessing is that I came to the Lord. In the beginning of my walk, I listened to
every single Christian talking to me until one day the Lord reminded me about the
scripture I learned oh so long ago…
Proverbs 3:5-6 5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding. 6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
As I started meditating on that scripture, He gave me:
Matthew 6:32-34 32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly
Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33But seek ye first the kingdom of
God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34Take
therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of
itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Then He gave me:
2 Corinthians 5: 7(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)
He reminded me how I am to walk in Him and not in others, how I am to trust in Him and
not worry about what everyone else thinks I should do or if they approve of what I am
doing in my life with Him. He had messages coming to me about how I need to focus on
Him and less on what the world was doing and even what other Christians were doing.
The Lord told me to change my focus to Him and in doing so to reach out to the world
and minister to those sisters who have been through what I have been through. Now you
talk about a huge Jonah experience for me, I did not want to hear it and did not do it for
almost a year after He told me. Yet again, listening to others tell me that I was not where
I needed to be in Him to do what I had on my heart to do. Yet, I finally stopped running
and did what God said to do.
Still to this day, I have to remind myself that I am not to seek approval from man, or to
worry what man is going to say but to do what Jesus said to do. It is not an easy walk to
do, as we all want to be accepted by our peers, but we must always remember that the
Lord walked this earth, healing the sick, casting out devils, and raising the dead and
people did not approve of Him either. So we are in great company, when we are in line
with the word of God and man is not giving us the approval that some of us are so

strongly desiring and seeking. We must learn to listen to the Lord and not man for our
direction in our lives and move forward in Jesus only.
Tips to defeat the Mother May I Sister:
• Study the word of God and know the word for yourself
• Pray and fast in Jesus to seek direction from Him
• Realize that you are never going to receive the kind of approval that you would
like to receive and many people go to down in life looking to man instead of
looking up to go forward
Things to ponder:
• When you allow others to influence you, whether they are saved or not, you start
to appear to others as if you are weak or can not function on your own
• You can end up doubting yourself and ultimately God for the rest of your life
• You could end up in a depression because you feel like nothing is going the way
it should go
Exercises:
1. The first step is to pray. When you are faced with a decision to make, pray with
your whole heart and ask the Lord to give you guidance and learn to listen and
wait on Him. This is a process and does not happen overnight, yet walk by faith
and trust the Lord, not people
2. If you are into asking people for assistance, stop asking and start doing, the best
lessons comes from when we learn from the mistakes that we made on our own
with no help from others
3. Spend time every single day, talking to the Lord and listening to the Lord, so that
your relationship is stronger in Him.
4. As a writer, I am always wondering if people read what I write and sometimes get
all twisted up inside because I have no idea if they are or not. If you have a web
site or blog sit install a counter on your site so that you can see and this will help
calm your mind about it. Take each hit as the word of God going forth (if you are
a Christian writer) and if you have little hits or not where you want it to be, start
talking to the Lord to see what He wants you to do about it. When I first started
writing, I did not get a lot of hits on my sites for days on end, I told all my friends
why is no one coming…sometimes we are doing things for ourselves, for our
growth in Him. We need to see that as a blessing to be able to express yourself
and move forward in doing what God has told you to do. Keep moving forward in
the Lord. Those that need to read or listen will, when the Lord directs them to do
so. It is all a test – which will lead to a stronger faith in the Lord and an awesome
testimony to the glory of Jesus.
No matter what comes your way, continue to press on to the calling the Jesus has for
you in your life and trust in Him always!
Chapter Fifteen – Mother Mode
Sister
Mother Mode Sister Scripture: Ephesians 6:4 And,
ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord.
The Mother Mode sister consists of several different types of mothering modes. It can
range from the mother who neglects herself for her children, and not the normal
sacrifices that mothers make for their children. We know that money can be tight and
mothers are famous for giving up what they need for their children’s needs. This is not
what we are talking about. This stage of the mother mode is when she does nothing for
herself because of her children. Her children are her life and outside of them, she has
none. The other mode of this sister is the mothering that is so overbearing that she
works everyone’s last nerve because she is in everyone’s business. She is not just a
busy body person, but she is literally in everyone’s business, handling every single thing
that is going on in their lives. She has the Co-Dependency Sister residing in her.
Being a mother is an awesome responsibility and it is truly a blessing to those of us that

are mothers, to know that we are molding and shaping our children into future men and
women of God. But during all this raising of our children, we sometimes forget about
ourselves to raise our children and when they are grown and gone – we feel all alone.
These mothers can be married and still feel alone when the children are gone. Not the
normal empty nest syndrome because she is used to the noise but totally at a loss
because she can not relate to her husband at all, or the outside world because her life
was centered around her children.
A single Mother Mode Sister does not date/court because she feels her children are too
young or can’t handle someone other than their father in their lives. She puts off her life
for her children because it might not look right to have a man in her life. This sister may
believe that no man is good enough to help her because she does not trust men or she
does not want to take the chance that the father will come back. She does not want to
start a relationship with a man and it does not work out and for this will not be good for
the child. She finally feels like she is ready for a real relationship but afraid of what her
child will think or it might take away from her child, so she shoves those feeling down
deep inside of her.
A married Mother Mode Sister has driven a wedge between herself and her husband
most likely years ago when the children were young. He has always felt like a second
class citizen. He could have had several affairs and/or just pretty much accepted
receiving intimate moments with his wife on special occasions. He may have even
stepped into the world of pornographic material and methods due to the lack of intimacy
with his wife. The intimacy level is not just in the bedroom, but the intimacy that a man
and wife share beyond sex. He has been pushed to the side because the kids need her
and she gives all that she has to her children. This puts her marriage in a serious
shambles and takes much prayer, dedication of both spouses to repair.
Many times, these sisters do not know what they are doing until they have “rubbed” the
children or family member in the wrong manner. At this point, this sister will not
understand why and some times just assume that the person took her the wrong way

instead of evaluating why the reaction was in the manner that it was. Although her
intentions are right, her methods are wrong.
This mother will do every single thing for her children such as take them every where
they need to go, never allowing them to be truly independent at any given moment of
their life. This mother will make excuses for family when they do things that are not in
line with the way things are to be done because she wants to make everything okay for
them. For example, her son has quit yet another job or called off of work for the millionth
time, she will say how tired he is or how over worked he is. In some cases some
mothers will express anger but not make the child/family member do a thing to get their
lives in order. This is dangerous for the sister and her family members because most
times, this sister is also the Co-Dependency sister.
When I was growing up, I was the eldest daughter. My mom had to work and I was left in
charge of my brother who was only 15 months younger than myself and my sisters who
are 7 years younger than myself. I had a lot going on growing up so I was the bossy
sisters. My siblings will tell anyone that I thought I was their mother, and though I was
not their mother, I acted in that manner. I have slowly come out of that stage and reserve
it for serious straight forward – you need to hear me moments with my siblings.
Yet and still, I had taken on yet again the other part of this Mothering Mode when
Jonathan was young, it was right after Jonathan’s dad and I split, in my Hunting sister
stage. I met a guy that I did not shield my son from in the beginning of our friendship and
it caused my son more pain than it was necessary. When I met Minister Merv, he did not
talk to my son on the phone for over 4 months. We talked on the phone only after my
son was in bed, and my son in the beginning did not know that Minister Merv was even a
person. As the relationship progressed, I just prayed to the Lord for guidance on when to
introduce Jonathan to Minister Merv. It all worked out and Jonathan even calls Minister
Merv – Mr. Dad or Dad – depending on Jonathan’s mood that day. Now for me
personally, I only experienced this phase for about 4 months, because being a mother of
a son, my fear was if he were not around a man on a regular basis, he would be a
“sissy”. So out of fear, even though he would not be a sissy, I dismissed this sister pretty
quickly.
Tips to defeat the Mother Mode Sister:
• Get in the word of God and pray as this is truly something you want to come
away from. You want your children, spouse, and family members to be able to do
things on their own, it is important that they are given the opportunity to do so
• Remember when dealing with family and friends, that you do not always have to
do everything for them or tell them what you would do or what you think,
sometimes just listening is what is needed
• Remember that when we do everything for people including our husbands, they
become so depended on us that if something was to happen to us, they are in
worse shape than before. It is great to be needed but it is better to prepare them
and see the growth in them as you allow them to grow.
• Many women place their lives on hold for their children because they do not want
to have problems with the relationship not working out and causing their children
more pain. However correct that is, we do not want to subject our children to
unnecessary pain and hurt in their lives, we can take our time. You can have
friends who are male friends and not have them around your children in the
manner of being potential husbands. We have to show our children healthy
Christian relationships and friendships. Here is where the difference comes in, if
the brother is a friend and strictly a friend, watch how you carry yourself in front
of your children. If you are interested in him or want to take it a step further, your
children will pick that up. Just as you know your children, your children know you
also.
• We should take our time to get to know a man before introducing him to our
children. We should take the precautions of doing so. Listen to the direction of
the Lord in all decisions that concerning not just you but your children too.
• Remember that the main thing is presenting a well rounded parent to our
children, so denying yourself for your children is necessary as a parent, but do
not deny them the opportunity to be raised in a Christian family home, even if
their paternal father is involved in their life, having your own mate who is a true
Christian is an awesome opportunity for your child to experience along with you!
Things to ponder:
§ When you are mothering your children, you could be interfering with your
husband’s abilities to be the proper father that the Lord has called him to be
§ When you mother every one you meet to the point of suffocating, you can end up
spending a lot of time alone or having people have resentful feelings towards you
§ When you are overbearing with our children, they can come to depend on you
and not be able to do the necessary things in their life without you
§ Having people dependant on you is not something we should strive for, this sister
is close to the Co-Dependency Sister, if you have not read that chapter and this
sister is you, read that chapter
§ Think about how you can end up being alone for the rest of your life and end up
being a No Life Sister, Old Maid Sister, Untouchable Sister or any of the other
sisters because of it
§ Consider that you may find yourself sitting around questioning why you are still
alone or single after the children are gone and you are doing the things of God.
§ You could currently be raising your children and feel that you are missing
something or evening holding onto the past relationship
§ After your children are gone, you could settle for “Mr. Right Now” and marry him
because of fear of being alone
§ Could end up crippling children because you are doing everything for them, and
also they have not experienced seeing a healthy Christian marriage in their
home.
§ There is nothing wrong with placing your children first, but we have to remember
that the Lord may have someone for you that you are passing up because of
your children. If the Lord has someone for you and you have children, it is clear
that God knows what He is doing and the children will be blessed too.
§ If you are married and place your children before your husband all the time, when
the children are gone, you will find that there are some issues in the marriage
that you previously did not deal with, causing even more friction in the marriage

Exercises:
1. Say to yourself when someone is coming to “talk” about their problems with you,
that you are going to put on your best listening skills and do more listening and
less talking
2. Put yourselves first for one whole day. What I mean is even the little things, not
being selfish but choosing things. If you are in the mood for Brussels sprouts and
the kids want green beans – have the Brussels sprouts.
3. If you really just want to relax, DO IT! 5 minutes will not hurt you. Do what you
need to do to start weaning yourself from being so wrapped up into the children
that you lose who you are as a person.
4. Put aside time for your husband and yourself to enjoy each other, send the kids
away for the weekend and just relax together, remember
Chapter Sixteen – Plain Jane
Sister
Plain Jane Sister Scripture: 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
16Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
17If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is
holy, which temple ye are
Okay first let the explanation of the scripture go forth, many of us “plain Jane” sisters do
not take any pride in our outward appearance to the point of almost being unattractive, it
is important to take into consideration that it is not just what we put in our bodies that
makes it a temple of God but also how we present our bodies. Just as some sisters need
to remember that they are representing the Lord and need to “tone it down” some of us
needs to remember to “tone it up”.
This sister is single, saved, and sanctified, but dresses like an “old maid” This sister is
not fixing herself up. She is not motivated or has no idea of what looks good on her. She
may even be so busy that she has no time to take the extra effort to do what is
necessary to look appealing. Many saved sisters fall into this category without even
realizing it or meaning to do so. In our quest to live holy, some of us tend to neglect
ourselves in the outward presentation of ourselves.
Some of us do not fix up because we lack style or the know how to do it. In some areas
that is myself too. Some of us do not fix up because we are lazy and just do not want to
do so, that is me about 98% of the time. Some of us do not see a reason in doing it, not
that we are lazy, but our thoughts are why bother – no one is going to care.
Some of us have this thought that we do not want to “appear” like the other ‘fast’ women
in the world, or we do not want to appear as secular women with our short dresses and
what not. I believe it is what you are comfortable with and what you are comfortable
wearing, along with the presentation that you present.
I do believe to come as you are and the Lord will change you as He sees fit, though
sometimes some of us do not hear His voice telling us to change. Let us keep it real,
some of us dress “sexy” because of the responses we get not because we feel that we
need to show the world what we got, though that is what happens when we dress too
sexy. The problem is that the ‘plain Jane’ women feel defeated in trying to keep up and
do not do anything about it. Yet my plain Jane sister need to wake up and realize that we
can no longer use that as an excuse either, we can not hide behind our plain clothes and
not do something about changing our looks.
There is nothing wrong with putting on a little bit of lipstick, putting some earrings in,
doing our nails and toes too. There is nothing wrong with it, but we choose not to
because of something inside of us. It is up to each of us plain Jane sisters to dig down
deep and decide on what you need to do to change it and be determined.
Where to begin….hummmm honesty is always the best policy…

Why is Sister Alissa Lynne a plain Jane sister. I am a plain Jane sister still because I am
lazy. There is no excuse really. When I want to get dressed up, I do, when I want to be
plain I am. I had migrated from a size 16 to a size 26 and that did something to my ego,
but because I am a big sister is no excuse.
I used not having money as an excuse about my hair, but there is nothing wrong with my
hands. I used to wear wigs and ponytails but did not like the way they looked after
awhile. Yet and still there is nothing wrong with my hands. It is the motivation of me
getting it done.
When Minster Merv and I got married, I wore red. (Yes I wore red, not like a scarlett but I
was covered in the blood of my Jesus in my red dress!) I did my hair that morning along
with doing my nails (toes and hands) the night before. It took some time but I got it done,
why because it was my wedding day.
All it takes is one day a week, yet I still struggle with this sister and seeking to find inside
of me that reason for being so lazy about this. I have used every excuse in the book but
none are justified. Right now, I am stuck on there is just not enough time, and I can’t
afford to go to the salon to get my hair done either. None of those reasons are good
enough.
As I write this up, I can blame it on my health or the time I get up in the morning, but
really, it is motivation to make a difference, taking the time to do what is necessary to fix
myself up. If you could see me right now as I type away on the computer, I am just the
plainest person. My hair is most times pulled straight back, I am in a pair of jeans and
shirt, not even a cute one at that. It is not because I do not believe that saved, sanctified
and blessed sisters are not to fix up, on the contrary I believe we should. For me like I
said, it is lack of motivation and pure laziness in the mornings. It is not an excuse but the
truth of the matter for me.
So I am working on trying to fix up at least twice a week including church service. I was
being a plain Jane at church too. I have decent clothes yet I would wear what was
comfortable, which most times is not the “nice” outfit but rather the low key outfit. So I
am making the effort to dress more during the week and on Sundays. Each day is a new
journey and thus far the bad hair days outweigh the good hair days, but yet I am a work
in progress and have to work on being determined to win this battle!
Tips to defeat the Plain Jane Sister:
§ Consider getting up earlier than you usually do to spend the extra time to fix up.
§ Pick out your clothes the day before so that you have time to coordinate, iron and
really get them ready to wear the next morning
§ There are options for your hair such as braids, ponytails, and things of that sort. If
you are not comfortable with those or a wig, consider dressing up your hair by
dressing up your face with some lipstick or lip gloss
§ Wearing even small earrings, lip gloss or even cute shoes can change one’s
appearance
§ Remember that sometimes less is better and sometimes just knowing what is in
is not enough
§ Look in the mirror before you walk out the door, if you cringe – go back and
change (I do that and sad to say sometimes I keep going out the door!)
§ One more important factor – just because it is in your size does not mean you
should put it on. We can look beautiful without “showing what we got” to the
whole world to see.
Things to ponder:
• Regardless if you single, courting or married – we should make ourselves look

good. What is the true importance, it makes us feel better. If you are already in a
great mood, it just enhances your mood, plus those around us benefit from it too.
• Fixing up on the outside can sometimes help fixing up on the inside
• Our bodies are a temple of God and should reflect Him on the inside and outside
too.
• You can attract men regardless of how you look, but wouldn’t it be best to always
have your best look on at all times
• Why not make your husband think of you while he is at work because of that
perfume you had on that was sweet smelling to him, or that cute top that he just
loves when you wear it, keep his mind on you and only you
• Just because we are holy living, does not mean that fashion was thrown out the
door, if you are not over showing things such as chest area and too much leg,
then why not. Modesty does not mean meaningless either
Exercises:
Put our looks first for at least 2 days outside of church service, as some of us get
dressed up for church but the rest of the week, we look like we just crawled out of bed.
Let us start together with small steps, as each week goes by add one more day to the
week. If you fall down with it, try yet again the next week, in time with prayer and
determination, you will get there and I pray I will too.

Chapter Seventeen – Sneaking

Sister
Sneaking Sister Scripture: (New International
Version) 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 3It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you
should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a]
in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not
know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of
him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned
you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who
rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
The Sneaking Sister is really about using her body for getting what she wants, in some
cases it is getting “the man”, it can be to get “stuff”, it can be to get ahead, and it can
even be because she has a sex demon on her too. She can be a closet sex fiend to a
straight out sister who loves to have sex and will have it with anyone at all.
The Sneaking Sister can be one who is single, courting or even married; we are going to
discuss the single/courting sneaking sister and then the married sneaking sister.
The Single Sneaking Sister:
The single sneaking sister is just that - sneaking. She is sneaking with a man who is not
legally able to be her man. She is sneaking with a man from church or not from church.
She is not telling any one that she is having sex with these men; she is keeping it very
quiet, as that is why she is considered sneaking. Yet the sneaking sister can escalate to
another level to being out in the open in it, but most Christian woman make a point of
keeping is silent except in some cases to close friends.
Sometimes the sister is thinking in her mind that if she loves them enough, he will leave
his wife and marry her. All she has to do is be patience with him. She has even in some
cases had children by these men, thinking that they will be there for them because they
are so devoted to their children by their wife, that they will not abandoned her children
for the sake of his marriage. WRONG!
This sister is hanging out with him and his friends, and sometimes meeting his family,
never introduced as “his girlfriend/woman” but as a friend. She never gets the title or the
fame of being his woman. She is walking in the fact that he is telling her that he has to
get to know her better in all aspects of life; she is sleeping with him for him to know what
her compatibility is. She is used to using what she has between her legs to get what she
wants out of life.
This sister sometimes just runs around and fakes her life as if she is so busy but yet at
home waiting on HIS call, waiting for him to come by to pay her some attention. In most
cases, the Sneaking Sister is very devoted to this man regardless of what he does or
says to her. He can lie, cheat, and even steal – she will find an excuse for what he is
doing.
This sister sometimes fools herself into thinking that there is a relationship here, that
because he comes over every Wednesday for dinner and sex, that she is the only one
that can relate to him because he tells her this. He never or rarely takes her out to dinner
or to movies, and if he does it is some place off the beaten path or during off hours. She
is the other woman in so many ways that she no longer asks when he is coming and
avoids disagreements for fear she will upset him and he never returns.
There are other levels of the single sneaking sister; she could end up accepting this
status in her life, not truly understanding the strong hold this relationship had on her life
and salvation. She begins to get addicted to the intimate connection that she ends up
always sleeping with each man she meets. She may no longer “kid” herself that he is the
one, yet she will “kid” herself into thinking that this is what she wants out of her life.
She ends up accepting this factor in her life as solid and heads down a path of using sex
to get attention, affection, personal items, dinners, food, clothing, jewelry, and whatever
else that she is looking for. She will excuse it away as “I need to get something out of
this.” The other aspect is that sometimes these same thoughts cross the minds of the
sisters who believe that these men will marry them in the end of all things.
Some of these women end up being with these men for years and missing out on the
blessings that the Lord has for them because they have lost sight of His promises for
them.
The Married Sneaking Sister:
As much as it hurts me to state this, there are married sneaking sisters too. Some of the
married sisters are out there having sex with other men for attention as they feel they are
missing out on things at home or that their husbands are not paying enough attention to
them. Yet some sisters go a little deeper with this sister by allowing the enemy to seep
into their thoughts and changing what they truly want out of their lives and relationship
with their husbands.
Some sisters use the excuse that their husbands are too busy for them, that he is at
work all the time, he comes home and stops at the television instead of talking to me, so
she can end up going on line trying to find someone to talk to, she could pay a little more
attention to the advances from the men in her church, or at work. This is a dangerous
“game” to play. All sneaking sisters are not out for sex, some are just out for attention
and sometimes it ends up being sex included.
Unfortunately a lot of men are not aware that their wives are just as sexually in tune as
they are that she also craves the closeness and needs the attention and affection that
comes with the intimacy. Most times that is what a wife is looking for when she looks
outside of the marriage, but sometimes it goes a step deeper to a sexual addiction.
Yes women do have sexual addictions, men are more known for it because it is consider
“slutty” if a woman admits that she has a sexual addiction. Here is where some women
will fall into a life that is not what she intended it to be. She has allowed her own fleshy
desires to take her into one extra marital affair after another, as each step destroys her
marriage.
Some women’s addiction is so strong that she is in constant confusion of what is going
on with her, why her husband is pushing her away from him and what is wrong with
HIM? We have to remember that the author of confusion is the enemy and there is no
truth in Him, we have to remember that the Lord is in control of our lives, if we allow Him

to be. We have to turn over our entire life over to the Lord in all areas. Let me tell you my
story to get a better understanding of what I am saying.
My personal walk as this sister: Okay, I have to keep it real as much as I would like to
keep silent on this, but your dear sister in Christ was a hoochie mama beyond what she
likes to admit to. I took the level of the Sneaking Sister to the level of being a prostitute,
yet I did not prostitute on the street, sometimes I did not prostitute for things, but for
attention and affection.
I would go to a club to hang out and the same night I met a man, I would sleep with him.
I would at times believe he would call and other times I knew that he would not call, yet
and still I would hope he did. On the occasion that they did call, I was surprised and so
eager to please them yet again for the attention and warmth that they provided me. It
was not always about money, bills, food, clothes, or a night out on the town. Sometimes
it was just to have someone to talk to.
I did anything they wanted me to do, and the more I gave into it, the more it was an
addiction. It was not the addiction to feeling good, but the addiction to the closeness that
comes with having sex. When you actually pay attention to the actual act of being
intimate with another, there is a connection that you can not really explain even with a
one night stand, well that is because that is what the Lord intended except we took the
connection to mean for all that we meet. God meant for it to be a special connection
between husband and wife, yet when you commit this act with one that is not your
spouse you are still tied to them in a small connection. Well that connection drove me, I
loved that moment of feeling connected to someone.
Be mindful as I say this, that I was one that would detach myself from all those that were
around me, it was easy to do being a child of molestation, I had to do that to survive my
childhood episodes. Yet, it never stopped when I grew older, it was during the holding
and hugging that I felt that connection, then for a very brief moment during the act of it
all, I felt so connected to the man of the hour, that it was the closest I got during those
times as feeling love from a man. So I craved it, I did not care what he looked like, what
kind of job he had or lack of it, I did not care about anything as long as he was decent to
me and made me feel loved for however brief the moments were.
I would sleep with men who were in relationships, and men who were clearly out for just
sex. I had graduated to making them feel good so that they would come back. Whatever
they wanted done, I would do it. I would allow them to degrade me in whatever manner
that they felt was necessary to feel like a man, so that lead to being abused in more
ways than I care to remember. I would stand on my head for them; I was a junkie for the
connection, until my 2nd marriage. My second marriage ended all of that.
My 2nd husband loved sex a little too much for me and always wanted it. Well let me say
this, as a child of molestation, sex was not pleasurable to me ever! I was having all this
sex and not getting a thing out of it. I did not care for the actual act, but I did care for the
closeness of it. After a year of sex almost every single day, I got tired of doing it for the
aspect of it was just boring to me. He felt the same way to me, the same old connection.
I wanted a new connection.
I am thankful to say that I did not cheat on my husband during our marriage, as in when
we were living under the same roof. It was hard not to do so, I wanted to met other men,
something new and excited. I had come to realize then that I was addicted to the chase
and the connection. My marriage ended and yet I was not completely surprised because
part of me wanted this old stuff gone so I can have someone new.
Jesus changed it all for me. He changed my thinking on this aspect and has shown me
through my celibacy for 3 years why it is important to wait. He showed me how in waiting
on Jesus and what He wants for my life and focusing on Him, listening to what He is
telling me to do, that I will have all that He wants for me.
When Minister Merv and I was first courting, and he came to visit me, I threw myself all
on him. He was totally shocked, here is this Christian sister just acting like a hoochie
mama, because I was conditioned to think that way, I had yet to be deprogrammed.
Minster Merv made it clear that was not what he wanted from me and to be honest I did
not believe him at first. It was truly his persistence in the beginning of our relationship did
I come to see that it was not a step to be taken at that time. I am sure Minister Merv
prayed for me in this area along with praying for himself. I am glad to say through much
prayer, fasting and talking things over with both Minister Merv and the Lord, I am free of
that demon and truly enjoying my intimate relationship with my husband!
Tips to defeat the Sneaking Sister:
• Just as with the Hunting Sister, you need to look within yourself and see who you
truly are. There is some soul searching that needs to be done. Are your finding
that the only men that are interested in your men that are already in a
relationship? Why do you think that is so? What kind of message are you
sending to those that meet you.
• I was told once by a married man who cheated regularly on his wife that the he
just knew by the way the woman carried herself in conversation and body
language if she would be willing to have an affair under false pretenses. It is what
we do my sisters that give us away in what we will accept. We have to watch
what we are doing and where we are going. We have to be aware of our
surroundings and see that if he looks good, speaks good, and smells good, does
not always mean he is good for us. If we are slow with acting on our emotions
and our desires, and listen to the direction of the Lord, you will know prior to
moving forward with the man if he is meant for you.
• We are too quick to jump in the bed with a man. We need to do as the word of
God says and wait – be of good courage. We need to have a better esteem of
ourselves and stop listening to our flesh cry out for it is truly not of God when you
are jumping around or in a long term relationship with a man who is clearly not
trying to commit to you.
• We must look at the situation with the word of God – if he does not line up with
the word of God – He is not the man for you!
Things to ponder:
§ Has it occurred to you that you should be more than just a piece?
§ Are you not tired of being alone on the holidays and family functions?
§ Do you think running behind another woman’s back is going to get you the
man of your dreams?
§ Do you believe that you reap what you sow?
§ Do you not think when he gets bored in his relationship with you; he will find
another woman who is new and excited?

§ Do you know that eventually no matter how hot your love is, it will not matter
when as the flames will die quickly because the relationship is based on things
that do not matter?
§ Why should you come second to anyone outside of God?
§ Why should you be sitting around with no one, praying that things change in
his life so that you can have him, when there could be a man right around the
corner but you are so fixed on him – you see no one else
§ What does he really do for you that is worth missing out on the man that is
right for you?
§ Are you really not worth a man who courts you and tells the world how special
you are to him?
§ If you are married, do you know what this will do to your entire family, not just
your husband
§ Do you truly know who you are as a person and your worth in the Lord?
Exercises:
1. When you see the ring – stop listening to him. He is already taken. You will not
be the one who truly understands, it is his wife who truly understands, why
because she is still with him. Never believe that she does not know, she just may
not want to admit to it in hopes of you being a passing phase – most likely you
will be.
2. For most married/in a relationship men, if you are very active and social, you are
not a target for him. They prefer the sisters who are not out in the open who are
least likely to tell anyone that they are in their lives. They want secrecy in the
relationship as they do not want their current girlfriend or wife to find out.
3. Open your eyes and pay attention to the signs of a man in a relationship. Most
men are NOT going to tell you that there is someone else. If he does and you go
for him, then my sister – let us pray for you! No man is worth that.
4. If the man you are seeing is never available during certain times and more than
12 hours at a time, start to listen to his conversation, notice his pattern. If he
never takes you out but rather come to your house and chill – find out why. Now
there are some good brothers out there struggling somewhat financially, do not
automatically assume that he in a relationship. If his cell phone is left in the car,
turned off when he is with you, or he ignores some calls when he is with you –
start asking questions and paying attention to the things that he is doing.
5. If you are in a sexual relationship with this man, you need to stop, but if you
choose to ignore the word of God and sleep with this man and he never spends
the night or he spends the night only after you question him about it, know that
there is a reason for all of that.
6. We need to be aware of one thing in all of this. If this man is really the right man
for you, both of you will resist the temptation of having sex. You can court
someone without having sex, it is not easy but it is able for God is able to do all
things.
7. If you are addicted to the actual sexual act for whatever reason, fasting and
prayer is needed first and foremost, along with sincerity to want to change,
determination to change and honesty within your self
8. If you are married, you need to sit down with your spouse, trust the Lord and tell
the truth. The word says… John 8:31-36 31Then said Jesus to those Jews
which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples
indeed; 32And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. 33They
answered him, We be Abraham's seed, and were never in bondage to any man:
how sayest thou, Ye shall be made free? 34Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I
say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin. 35And the servant
abideth not in the house for ever: but the Son abideth ever. 36If the Son
therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Trust in Jesus and
confess your faults so that you can move forward to being free in Jesus. Ask the
Lord to give you the words.

Chapter Eighteen – Conclusion

John 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal,
and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they
might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old
things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our
potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.
In conclusion, as you have read the sisters in this point and find that there are some of
you in this book, know that God is truly able to bring you through it all in Him. He is truly
our guidance and direction in all of it. We are to be as God has called us to be.
Sometimes the road is going to feel like it is just too bumpy for us, or that we can not
make it, but remember we pain may endure for a night but joy will come in the morning.
We are to endure until the end of all things. God is truly a blessing to us and we are to
stand in His words and follow what He tells us to do.
In all that you have read in this book, the main thing that is needed is to know that the
Lord is there for you and truly the only way to live your life. The difference from all the
sisters in this book and the Content sister is their relationship with the Lord. Working on
our relationship with God and living as He wants us to do is the only way to have
happiness in our lives. God is able my sisters, God is able.
Continue to walk with the Lord, seeking the Lord in all things, pray and talk with Him and
read the word of God, build your relationship with Him and you will see the promises of
God will apply to you too.
If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to give us a call at 1-877-205-4524, we are here
for you! God Bless You
Author’s Last Words
Praise the Lord! God is so good to us. I am thankful for the opportunity to come before
you yet again in writing. The Lord continues to bless my life and showing me how to
come closer to Him each day. We are truly blessed people.
In doing this book, I have been blessed to see the areas in my life where I have made
big improvements along with areas in my life that I still need to make big improvements.
The Lord is awesome in His mighty ways of bringing all things together clearly in our
heads when we just lean on Him and trust in Him. The growth that the Lord has provided
me during this process is nothing less than spectacular as He is truly molding me into
His child more and more each day.
I pray that each of you who have read the book will see the true meaning of all of this,
our walk with the Lord is what brings us to where we are in life. It is in Him that we are
changed and molded into being what we should be, Content and Happy Sisters in Jesus.
It is truly where we all should be in Him.
Just please remember that this is not a bad thing and may this book inspire you to do
some soul searching and lead you to a closer walk with the Lord!
As always, as your sister in Christ, if you need to talk, feel free to contact me and let us
come together on one accord for your growth in Jesus. It is not about us, but about
Jesus and getting closer to Him as we grow in life.
Have an awesome and wonderful day in the Lord and thank you so much for taking the
time to read yet another book of mine!
God Bless
Love your sister in Christ,
Sister Alissa Lynne

WL4J Information
As the founder of Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries, (WL4J), I would not be doing my
duty if I did not take the time to explain the organization to you and remind you that we
are here for you.
Who is WL4J (Women Living 4 Jesus)

WL4J is an organization dedicated to supporting and uplifting the name of Jesus by
encouraging, supporting and assisting our sisters in Christ and yet to come to Christ.
WL4J established in October 2007 with the vision of reaching the broken, caught in
strongholds, and bounded sisters who are walking around each day feeling the weight of
the world and not being free in Christ.
We are currently seeking status as a non-profit organization. We do not solicit donations
from individuals, although we do accept them, but we seek to assist individuals with
clothing, shelter, food, financial, spiritual, and training along with workshops, to not just
move forward but also move forward in Christ, free from the bonds of life.
Our assistance does not just end with conversation, prayer and encouragement; it is just
the beginning of what we do. We are building lasting relationships in Christ and truly
seeking to function as one body in Christ by utilizing the skills and talents of our sisters
in Christ to help others.
We believe in blessing others as we are blessed.
Our motto is simple:

We are here for our sisters
One Sister at a time
We are founded on Isaiah 61:1 and Psalm 19:14 scriptures.
Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed
me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable
in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.
We are on the internet with our social community where sisters can receive
encouragement, conversation/discussions, and all around support. There are no limits
on what we discuss in life. We are open for all discussion with our sisters, as we no
longer live in bondage under the ways of keeping silent. We have learned that
sometimes in silence, we remain tormented by the enemy but when we speak things into
life, we are blessed.
At WL4J, we believe we are to line ourselves up with the word of God and that in doing
all things according to the will and word of God is the only way to live. We all fall short of
the glory of God and have struggles dealing with life. It is through knowing where we
stand can we stand taller. Our workshops are Christian Holiness base teachings along
with a keep it real aspect to what is being said during the workshops. Our workshops are
available also in a Retreat and Conference setting, with some special guidelines to the
forum of the retreat/conference. All our workshops held are in an instructive with open
forum atmosphere.
WL4J has an on line talk show, located on the Talk Shoe Internet Radio Network. This
talk show is at least once a week, discussing issues and things related to women of
God. We offer online workshops via our talk show along with twice a month fellowship
calls where sisters can come together and talk about the goodness of the Lord. Our
radio show is located at www.talkshoe.com/tc/11529 Check out our schedule and come
visit us live during a show, you can listen in, call in, just chat or do all three. All of our
shows are archived for listening during a time most available for you.
WL4J also offers a weekly newsletter on Mondays. Each newsletter arrives in your
morning emails with information, writings and encouragement to get through our lives in
Jesus. If you are interested in receiving a newsletter, send an email to
subscribe@womenliving4jesus.org
Sister Alissa Lynne also sends out every morning (Monday to Friday) a “Good Morning”
Inspirational – Get our day started email. If you would like to receive this daily email,
please send an email to sisteralissalynne@comcast.net and she will ensure that you are
added to our Good Morning Email Subscriber List.
At WL4J, we encourage all our sisters to continue to stand in the word of God doing it all
in the name of Jesus. If you would like to know more about us, come visit us at our two
locations on the internet.
Our web site is www.womenliving4jesus.org

Our Social Community is www.womenliving4jesus.ning.com
Our Email Address is: contactus@womenliving4jesus.org
We praise God for each of you and pray to hear from you soon.
Remember we are here for our sisters – One Sister at a Time!
God Bless,
Love your sisters in Christ
Women Living 4 Jesus

Interesting Links
In the handheld copies of this book, if you do a search on the internet with the name of
the link, it should be easy to find.
Christian Ministry Network – Apostle D Ross’s ministry, she has several internet radio
shows that are truly encouraging, enlightening and uplifting the body of Christ.
Christian Oasis – This site is full of free bible study, encouragement, fellowship, and
music. It is truly a blessing to visit and participate.
Count It All Joy Ministries – Evangelist N. Richardson ministry, as she reaches out to
women of all ages to do what God has called her to do, give the word to the dying world.
Good Morning Inspirations – Sister Alissa Lynne’s Good Morning Emails located on the
web for those that do you get the emails directly to their email address.
Gospel Music Info – Sister Dominique’s website of gospel music – all gospel all the time!
(1800gosel.com)
Living Water Disciples – This site gives such insight on Christian articles and things that
are going on in the world so that we are aware and know what to pray for.
Living Victorious – Minister Merv and Sister Alissa Lynne bring to you words of
encouragement along with a weekly broadcast on how to live life victorious in Christ.
Melcena Radio – Sister Rose brings so many things to her site, radio station, free
EBooks, free teachings from Pastor Scott to name a few.
People with a Passion for Ministry – Evangelist Betty is passionate for Jesus as she
reaches out to all those that come past her site with compassion and love for others in
the name of Jesus.
Picket Fences - We are...Christian women in all ages and stages of separation, and
divorce. All of us are on our own unique path with God. We are women who had to take
the journey and while it may not have been easy, we survived. You will survive, too. We
are the Picket Fences community.
Prayer Garden – A wonderful made and beautiful site full of the word of God and
encouragement, it is a site that is hard to describe but wonderful to visit.
The Real Truth of Alissa Lynne – Sister Alissa Lynne’s blog site of her own thoughts and
her walk with the world, no secrets here – speaking the truth in honesty and love
Rejoice in Music – Minister Merv’s site of musical and minster services. If you are in
need of a minister or musician come on by and see what the Lord has blessed him to do.
Simply 4 God – Sister Valerie’s writings from her heart, a wonderful blog of honesty and
love.
Sister Who Are You Really? - An in-depth look into who we are as individuals in Jesus
and how the Word of God is meant to improve us in Christ.
The Truth of Alissa Lynne I – The Truth of Alissa Lynne is an in depth look of the life of a
woman who endured many obstacles in her life from childhood abuse, self-esteem
issues, rape, bad choices in life and how Jesus Christ brought her through it all. Alissa
Lynne’s blesses us with her own thoughts on her life and her walk with the Lord. Her tell
it like it is attitude is refreshing in a world of untruth and dishonesty. Alissa Lynne shares
with us her thoughts on how she relates the way of the world to our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ.
The Truth of Alissa Lynne II – In the “The Truth of Alissa Lynne II”, we are blessed with
her own thoughts on life and our walk with the Lord. This book is yet another insight of
Sister Alissa Lynne in encouraging and inspirational writings to all. Her tell it like it is
attitude is still refreshing in a world of untruth and dishonesty. Sister Alissa Lynne shares
with us her thoughts on how she relates the way of the world to our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ.
The Truth of Alissa Lynne III – Honestly Speaking – Coming soon – more Truth of Alissa
Lynne
Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries
Women Living 4 Jesus Social Community
Women Living 4 Jesus Encouragement Hour

About the Author

Praise the Lord! Sister Alissa Lynne is a mother, wife,
sister, child of God. She was born on February 17, 1968
and reborn on July 24, 2005. She has been walking for
the Lord with the fire of the Lord in her heart to see all
those around her saved and walking with the Lord for all
eternity.
She is the mother of one son, Jonathan. She is the wife of Minister Mervyn Griffith. She
is a member of El-Bethel Temple located in Wilkinsburg, PA under the leadership of
Pastor Curtis Lewis. She enjoys singing praises to the Lord, writing words of
encouragement and just being a sister to all those that she meets.
She is the founder of Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries and co-founder of Living
Victorious Ministry with her husband. She is the author of three free-published books.
“The Truth of Alissa Lynne – I “, “The Truth of Alissa Lynne – II”, and “Sister, Who Are
You Really?” She is the author of several blog sites along with Good Morning
Inspirations sent out via email each morning to many sisters and brothers in Christ. She
enjoys reading the word of God and spreading the love of the Lord in writing and
conversation.
Sister Alissa Lynne is currently the host and producer of Women Living 4 Jesus talk
show located on the Talk Shoe Internet Radio Network, along with co-host and producer
with Minister Merv on the Living Victorious talk show. She is the producer of Minister
Merv’s weekly radio show entitled, “A Word with Minister Merv”. She truly enjoys doing
the talk show segments and thankful to the Lord for the opportunities that He provides.
Sister Alissa Lynne is truly a sister in Christ who believes that it only takes one to make
a difference because the word of the Lord says that the prayers of a righteous man
availth much. James 5:15-16 15And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord
shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. 16Confess
your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The
effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Sister Alissa Lynne along with her husband and son currently reside in Penn Hills, PA, a
suburb outside of the city of Pittsburgh.
She is currently working on “The Truth of Alissa Lynne – III” which contains more words
of encouragement and love from the word of God. She believes that encouraging her
sisters in Christ is what she is to do and to do free of cost to the readers. Praise the Lord
and may He continue to provide a way for this to be done in a manner that He wants it to
be.
“Sisters” graphic provided by GroovySmurf a/k/a Nita (www.angelfire.com/on2/groovysmurf)

Sister – Who Are You Really?
By Sister Alissa Lynne
Sister – Who Are You Really? is a book that addresses sixteen different personality traits
that can hinder your walk in the Lord and being a productive sister in Christ. We all have
areas of improvement and even sometimes areas that need improve that we have yet to
see within ourselves.
Sister Alissa Lynne, author of The Truth of Alissa Lynne I & II, whom brought the truth of
life to her previous books does the same yet again with Sister – Who Are You Really,
with providing the truth of the word of God related to our walk as women of God. As the
founder of Women Living 4 Jesus Ministries, she has ministered to and talk to countless
sisters struggling daily to stand in the word of God because of the bondages that they
are still residing in. Sister, Who Are You Really is a book that will help in being able to do
some soul searching within oneself to make a difference.
Each sister is lined up with the word of God, along with concrete thoughts to the word of
God and practical steps to take to move forward in our walk as Christian women. This
book provides each sister with a chance to know that they are not alone and that there
are other sisters who know how they feel and that there are sisters who have overcome
in Jesus the personality traits that have bounded them to the chains of this world and are
now living free in Jesus!
This is a book that you will pass onto other sisters and read for yourself again.
God bless and may we grow in the Lord together!
“Sisters” graphic provided by GroovySmurf a/k/a Nita (www.angelfire.com/on2/groovysmurf)

Sister - Who Are You Really

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Sister – Who Are You Really?

A look into who we are

John 10:10 The thief

By Sister Alissa Lynne

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

Copyright © 2008 Sister Alissa Lynne - All rights reserved

“Sisters” graphic provided by GroovySmurf a/k/a Nita

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Have a blessed and a wonderful day in the Lord!

Love your sister in Christ,

I am so excited to present to you this book, as it is truly a blessing to me to be able to dig

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

The Sisters that we are going to go over are:

Busy Sister – This sister is never home or alone

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Plain Jane Sister – This sister is in need of fashion help

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Tips to being The Content Sister:

How much are you living the following verses?

Proverbs 3:5-7; Matthew 6:32-34; 1 Corinthians 7:34

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Chapter Three – Attention Sister

My personal walk as this sister:

Tips to defeat the Attention Sister:

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The Bitter Sister Scripture:

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Tips to defeat the Bitter Sister:

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

My personal walk as this sister:

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Remember all things are possible in Jesus Christ – Philippians 4:13

Tips to defeat the Busy Sister:

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Chapter Six – Busy Body Sister

Tips to defeat the Busy Body Sister:

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Co-Dependency can be passed down from generation to generation; it is an emotional

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

My personal walk as this sister:

God has blessed me and He has bless you too.

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

Chapter Eight – Demand/Do It

My personal walk as this sister:

Tips to defeat the Demanding Sister:

• Pray and talk to Jesus before turning anyone down

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4. Remember sometimes the Lord sends angels in disguise to us to do things for us

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

My personal walk as this sister:

Tips to defeat the Don’t Do Anything Sister:

§ Change your focus from you to Jesus

Tips to defeat the Fantasyland Sister:

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Chapter Eleven – Homebody

My personal walk as this sister:

Copyright 2008 – All Rights Reserved – Sister Alissa Lynne

It is a process my sisters, it is a process and in time with determination to do God’s will,

Tips to defeat the Homebody Sister:

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Chapter Twelve – Hunting Sister

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Tips to defeat the Hunting Sister:

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