ISSUE FOUR

SNOW

Contributors:
Barbara Wilson Rob Bell Jess Campbell Megan Melissa Otto Janelle Maree

12
38
16

34
26

IMAGES:
EyePoetry Photography Shira Sela DreamGirl Nat Melissa Otto Dottie Angel Shirea Pilli pilli Nestdecorating Raceytay Soo K Gitte Irene Suchocki Vandolarp Wallpaperhere.com

contents

05 07 12 16 18 26 30

snow reminds me of... subscribe to mici a hollywood affair were lovin not how I planned it fresh finds i am His

34 38 42 50 56 60 62

how a heart breaks flame introducing ... melissa otto i have this friend recipe one last thing mici supporters

18 50
2

ISSUE FOUR

snow reminds me of many things...

Not least the way it makes the dullest of buildings and landscapes look magical and beautiful. It seems a strange name to give an edition of mici magazine that focuses on sex and issues related to it. But actually, Snow is a perfect name; perfect because intimacy was always designed to be magical and beautiful. Sometimes things dont always go the way we think they should. Our experiences can betray the ideals we have in our heads about how things ought to be. Snow is kind of the same it starts off white and pristine, and those of us who have seen it would like it to always stay that way. But after a while it rolls in with all the dirt and suddenly it doesnt look so magical or beautiful anymore. The cool thing about snow though, is that it eventually turns to water, and with that, the old stuff is washed away. All it was is no more and what falls afterwards is once again pure, clean, magical and beautiful. Sex is something we hear a lot about, as is how bad and terrible it is to have it outside of marriage. And we would agree that yes, it is designed to be at its best in a loving marriage. But for many of us, it doesnt initially happen that way. Lots of things can get us to that place: low self-esteem, pressure, lack of confidence, a moment of weakness. We dont always get it right. But know this: whatever has been done can always be put right by the greatest lover of your life, as some of the young women who contributed to this issue will tell you.
Photo: wallpaperhere.com

God loves you, no matter what your life looks like to you. He says He has washed you

WHITE AS SNOW.

ISSUE FOUR

Photo: Michael Betts

subscribe to
We simply love love love our subscribers. Yes we do! And to show you just how much, we have made it terribly easy for you to get your paws on a copy of mici by giving it to you for free! Simply go to our website: And since we love the environment too we have decided to make all our issues paperless.

Sassy and ingenious!

Look out for great articles and giveaways beneath each delicious cover. If you simply cant wait to get your next mici fix, dont worry, just pop over to our website and catch up on whats cooking!

www.micimagazine.com
punch in your name and email address and youre set.

ISSUE FOUR

o r u a n d e f li
G

o
urns life t d

God turn s
Photo: Vandolarp

d oun ar

How good is sex really? Is it as good as they show you in the movies? And which one is better, sex outside of marriage or inside of marriage?

Great questions. There are two parts, so first: Is sex as good as they show you in the movies? This question made me giggle a little because the funny thing about sex scenes in movies is that they are incredibly choreographed. Every single part of it has been scripted, which also means they are not real. The two people you see are actors. They are acting, or in other words, pretending. What theyre thinking about most of the time is how to play their part right. Something real is always better than anything pretend, no matter how different it is. That said, sex is an incredibly personal thing between two people. Different couples enjoy it in different ways and when its with someone you love in the true sense of the word, then its wonderful, yes. That doesnt always mean you want to have it all the time, every night, everywhere. Sex changes as you change. When my husband and I were first married having sex was like an adventure. But now, after knowing him more and more, it feels richermade up of all the amazing things weve done and seen and been through. It connects us deeper, and it heals. He still looks at me the same way he did when we were first married except now when he reaches out to me, it is with a love that has been intensified and made stronger through our experiences.

Second: Which one is better, sex outside of marriage or inside of marriage? Inside. Definitely. If you keep reading, youll discover lots of reasons why it works best in a commited relationship. At this point some people will probably ask, If Im in a committed relationship why get married? Well, I suppose if theres genuine commitment why not make it official? Thats all marriage is right? Just so you know though, we understand that not all marriages work out and reasons for that are vast. Thats why the entire topic of sex is so closely linked with relationship, and relationship, a good one at least, starts first and foremost with being committed to the right persona good person, who nurtures you (as much as they can) in all the right ways. As a side note, have you noticed how the majority of actors and actresses are either married or have been married? Sometimes to several different people. While on screen their roles portray them as sexually carefree, off-screen, most of them are looking for commitmentjust one person to share life with. Even those who are divorced teach us a valuable lesson: unlike what they pretend to want in movies, sex on its own is not enough to sustain a relationship no matter how goodlooking you both are.

Q&A
10

ISSUE FOUR

11

a hollywood affair
words: Jessica Campbell

Sally sips her cocktail, licks her lips and winks at the man next to her. He places his hand on her thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze. They leave the club and arrive at Sallys apartment. As soon as the front door opens, the man kisses her passionately, attempting to close the door whilst picking her up and ripping off her dress. They smash against walls, laughing, finally making it to the bedroom. They have passionate sex and fall asleep. Later on, the man leaves while Sally is sleeping.
End scene.

Is this a perfect ending or a screwed up reality? Reality is, relationships are built on more than sex, yet Hollywood has made a killing by writing sex scenes into every script imaginable. The expectation of a graphic sex scene is incredibly high, especially among young audiences. To make money, producers and directors must adhere to what is popular, and apparently, all audiences want to see are people getting it on. Friends with Benefits starring Justin Timberlake, focuses on two friends who mutually agree to have no-strings-attached sexpurely physical and purely uncommitted. Of course this means countless sex scenes with a shared opinion that its all fine so long as no one gets overly involved. But to please the audience, the scriptwriters had to fit in a love story somewhere right? It turns out the two friends fall in love and live happily ever after. Please! This storyline is not only unrealistic, its not even romantic. Sex always has strings attached. Not according to Hollywood though.

What we learn as enthusiastic movie goers is that sex with anyone is acceptable and normal. Often the scenes we take in are full of passion. Vases get broken, clothes are ripped off, and couples kiss like they will die any minute. The end result is always one of immense satisfaction. There are no regrets. There is no mess. But movies, Ive discovered, were not always so sex crazy. Way back when, the idea of the moving imageliterally a series of images giving the illusion of movementamazed people. Early films revolved around simple storylines like a train pulling into a station. The introduction of the star systemor celebrities as we now know themgreatly increased the number of people watching films. Sexual suggestiveness was as far as it went though, as opposed to the steamy X-rated scenes today.

12

Photo: Irene Suchocki

ISSUE FOUR

13

Michael Medved, an American author, believes Hollywood films are maligning marriage, glamorising violence, promoting sexual promiscuity and gratuitous sex. Not far from the truth really. Today, everything revolves around sex; it has become a symbol for society to identify with and communicate through. The TV series Gossip Girl, though showcasing wonderful fashion, mainly focuses on the sordid and secretive relationships of the characters. This person sleeps with that person, who then sleeps with someones boyfriend. The boyfriends girlfriend gets revenge on the affair-maker and spreads illicit rumours or photos. Why is the show so popular? It cant just be the clothes. Its probably more to do with the specific ideal it sells; the ideal of having it allmoney, looks and sex. The characters are continuously sleeping around with one another and this, apparently, is life at its best. From old-school flicks to modern day films, weve all learnt what Hollywood would consider the ideal relationship. Its not always based on love, but mainly good sex. If you arent getting it, you need to go elsewhere. Its acceptable to sleep with whoever you want, so long as you dont remain a virgin. As long as youre having sex, your life will be perfect and you can live together without being married. In my opinion, I believe Hollywood is taking from usthe audienceour ability to choose not to watch sex. I believe that watching people take part in affairs or casual one-night stands, regardless of whether they are actors, is suggestive and destructive.

Hollywood gets it wrong by giving us a fictitious reality. Real life, Ive decided, is way better. Research what you watch. Practice turning it off and walking away. Now how about this for a good ending:

Sally sips her mocktail, not noticing the man to her right. He places his hand on her waist and gives it a gentle squeeze. Sally shrugs it away and walks out. She walks to a nearby caf and squeals with delight as she sees her closest friends.
End scene.

Photo: Irene Suchocki

14

ISSUE FOUR

15

Photo: Gitte

Photo: Gitte

Photo: Irene Suchocki

Photo: Gitte

The human body is wired to enjoy sex and viewing it on screen is a turn-on. We become aroused even if its not what we want. We start to believe we too can experience the same euphoric feeling the actors portray if we get that far with someone. I know personally that stuff we see on screen can affect how we perceive real life. From unintentionally viewing movies filled with sex scenes, I honestly thought sex would be like it is in movies. But in the movies life doesnt work to reality, it works to a script. Anything can be hyped up, over emphasized and over acted.

Photo: Gitte

were lovin ...

old school
We cant believe our eyes. Old school is backsort of. All the TV programs we grew up with as kids are getting air time again. Gremlins, Jaws, Knight Rider, Macguyver. The A-team: I pity the fool who goes out tryin a take over da world, then runs home cryin to his momma! For those of you who dont know him, thats B.A. Baracus. And then, theres fashion. Last time I wandered round the mall I came across some really strange cuts and colours that were so typical of the 80s. Mustard yellow shirts and cardigans, shoulder pads and furry waistcoats. Nuff said.

Photo: Soo K

Photo: Gitte

Photo: Gitte

Flares are also back to the fore after skinny has been in for so long, which just goes to show, fashion is a strange and fickle beast. That said, were really lovin old-world fabrics and designs; all the stuff now tagged as vintage or classic. A few weeks ago I bought what can only be described as an Audrey Hepburn dress. I wasnt prepared for how beautiful or feminine it made me feel. All that swooshing when I walk. Awesome!

Not everything old is outdated. Sometimes oldies really are goodies. And, they dont have to be expensive. The best part, of course, is hunting down these beautiful and unique little pieces, be it a dress, a fridge magnet, a brooch or a movie. Op shops are great for that and so are markets and sites like Etsy.

Happy hunting lovelies and drop us a line to let us know what youve found.
16

Photo: Gitte

not how I planned it

words: BARBARA WILSON

I had great plans for my life. Born and raised in a Christian family, my father a Baptist pastor, I gave my heart to Jesus at seven years of age.
I fell in love with God and promised to serve Him with my whole life. I took my decision very seriously as a young person, talking to others about God, leading bible studies, teaching Sunday school. My life was on course until I moved away to a Christian school in my senior year of high school. It was here that, for the second time in my life, I fell in love. This time it was with a guy I planned to marry one day. Having been raised in church I knew that God said to save sex for marriage. But with no one talking about itnot my parents, youth workers or teachersI was unprepared for the pressure to have sex and didnt really know how to save it for marriage. So at 18 I lost my virginity to someone I thought I was in love with, and who was supposed to love me. It was not what Id expected. Instead of feeling loved, I felt used and humiliated. Something died inside me that day as I suddenly realised the truth about sexit is a big deal! But it was done. I couldnt take it back. All I could do was stuff my feelings away and pretend they didnt matter.
ISSUE FOUR

18

Photo: Raceytay

19

After that relationship ended I moved on to others. I found I was giving in to sexual temptation even though I really didnt want to or enjoy it. I was heading down a road I didnt want to take, felt so much shame and regret for, yet for some reason couldnt stop. Until one day I heard the words, Youre pregnant. By then I was numb to my pain. I was numb to everything. I was also far away from God, so in response, the only voice I heard back said, have an abortion. This was rock bottom for me, the end of the road. Gone were my dreams. God could never use me now. And so began my life of hiding: hiding my true self from others, from God, even from myself. I was sure that since I couldnt accept myself and what Id done, others couldnt eitherespecially Him. I lived in a prison of self-condemnation, pain and regret. I asked God to forgive me many times but it never seemed to work. I never felt forgiven. What I know now that I didnt then, was that although God had forgiven me the first time I asked, without dealing completely with my sexual past and abortion the hurt Id accumulated kept me miserable and made it impossible to forgive myself and experience Gods forgiveness. And so I spent all my energy on hiding, justifying and forgetting what had happened. Not only did it drain and freeze me emotionally, physically and spiritually, but it negatively impacted all my relationships: with my friends, my husband, my children and Goduntil He showed me something.

He gently began to point out the hurt Id suffered from my past, how it was affecting me now and how I needed to be made well from it. I decided to trust Him to do that for me. Id heard a lot about a God of grace sitting in church all those years, but for the first time I actually experienced Him. It changed my life. Now, rather than feeling stuck emotionally and spiritually, Im growing and thriving. Rather than destroying my relationships out of pain and shame, God is making them healthy and new. The distress of my past took away my voice I couldnt praise God, serve Him or be honest with others because I was living a lie. With healing, God gave me back my voice. What Hes done for me, He wants to do for you if youll let Him. Hes waiting for you to ask.

Barbara Wilson is an acclaimed author and speaker. Her journey to healing is detailed in her book, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free From Your Sexual Past. To purchase her book and bible study resources visit the mici store.

20

Photo: nestdecorating

ISSUE FOUR

21

Whats the first time like?

Different for everyone petal. My first time was really nice. A little bit painful, but so natural at the same time. Some of my girlfriends had really different experiences: some found it really painful so had to go really slowly. Others felt awkward. One of my girlfriends said, For the entire time we dated we were told we couldnt have sex, but then it came to our wedding night and suddenly we could. It was a little bit awkward. But we soon got over it. Another girlfriend was worried about what to do, but she talked to her husband and they worked it through. Different women have different experiences. After a little while it all becomes second nature. I will say though, that its important you both listen to each other and bring no expectations to your wedding night. What happens between the both of you is very personal, so take each moment as it comesand if its not quite what you expected first time round, just be assured that it only gets better.

Q&A
24

ISSUE FOUR

25

fresh finds

Oh this is cute! This is really really cute. A felt handmade camera brooch, perfect for pinning on practically anything--bags, jackets or cardigans. Who looks great now? You do you cool thing you! Pick up your camera brooch along with darling felt foxes, treestumps and badgers at www. lupinhandmade.com Where genius clearly lives!

Stressed? Tired or been up late studying and need some sweet aids to help you drift into the land of lullabies? Well this all natural product from the Body Shop is just the treat. This quick-drying mist is made to encourage restful sleep. With special encapsulation technology that allows bursts of active fragrance to be released at night to aid more satisfying sleep, spray it on your body or your bedlinen and let the zzzzzzs do the rest.

Australias first Organic Deodorant to wear the Australian Certified Organic Biological Farmers Association comestic logo. First Organic Deodorant to be available through Woolworths. Aluminium free. 100% natural. Formulated for girls with all women in mind. A deodorant that truly works, good for you and our environment.

Theyre restickable fabric and fabulous! A reusable sticker these seriously lovely owls can (and will!) stick anywhere! Ever so cute to perch on the laptop, windows, lunchboxes, ipads, walls or furniture they tell a story each time they perch somewhere new! Each owl measures just shy of 85mm tall by just more than 85mm wide They come on a sheet thats paper thin and just as light, so they ship flat like a letter anywhere around the world. A single owl is just $7 or buy a bunch and get a discount. Its completely up to you! www.tinch.co.nz

I LOVE TRINKETS have done it again. Whether you love magnets, buttons, keychains or bookmarks or a mix of all of the above, these vintage designs are a must! Just be sure to write them a little note letting them know the perfect mix for you. And they come packaged in a cute little drawstring bag. Simply superb!

This deeply nourishing lip treatment is enriched with calendula flower and jojoba oils to gently soothe dry, neglected lips, combined with cocoa and shea butter to offer instant and long lasting hydration.

26

ISSUE FOUR

27

they are super awesome, sweet looking eco-loving, smile hooking planet friendly, dream cooking skitchy sketchy, sketch books!

from ask alice stationery naturally gorgeous. www.askalicestationery.com

28
ISSUE FOUR

29

I AM HIS AND HE IS MINE.

He promises beauty for ashes, He calls me beloved, daughter, princess, bride, brighter than diamonds, full of laughter, joy, sunshine, light. He refreshes with refreshing rain, and makes me lay down in green pastures, beside still waters. He is like the morning dew, my stream of life, He gives me a clean heart. He is kind, my Saviour King, I am part of His royal priesthood, redeemed by His marvellous grace, filled with wonder and praise, joy instead of mourning and songs of gladness. He is merciful and true, laughter, righteous. The Lord is my strength, He is my safe refuge, a strong tower, faithful, all knowing, ever present, unchangeable, full of power, compassionate, mighty to save, wonderful, counsellor, my peaceand I AM HIS AND HE IS MINE.
Photos: pilli pilli

30

ISSUE FOUR

31

Why does God want us to wait to have sex?

Thats a great question. I think the confusion comes from how sex is portrayed; that you can have it with as many people as you want and its okay. The truth is sex is a very intimate act that doesnt just require you to be physically involved, but requires all of you on every level. Jesus talks about becoming one with someone through sex. That means every part of you is now part of them, and every part of them is now part of you, which also means not only is there a physical joining but theres a spiritual one too. Thats why sex does more than just give pleasure. It heals, it reconnects you with your beautiful other, it reaffirms your love for one another, and it restores you after an argument or time away from each other. But it can only do all this when you have a genuinely deep intense friendship, affection and connection to someonethe sort of relationship that only happens over time. You cant have it with everyone, which is why waiting is important.

We are bound to come across people who make us feel like the world will grind to a halt without them. We may be so intensely into them that having sex just seems right. But only one of two scenarios will come from that. One: they will turn out to be someone else and the relationship will end, in which case the sexual side of your relationship only serves to intensify the pain of your breakup. Two: they will turn out to be exactly who you hoped they would be and you will want to spend forever with them, in which case holding off just to be sure wont ruin anything. Love has been described as two people coming together and giving themselves to each other forever. And what is marriage? Just the official declaration of that very wonderful and beautiful act. Right? Its worth waiting. It really is.

Q&A
32

ISSUE FOUR

33

HOW A HEART BREAKS

WORDS: Barbara Wilson

His heart. Her heart.

Two different hearts. One belongs to Abby and the other to Dan. Abby and Dan have fallen in love and have decided they are both ready to make their relationship sexual. They agree its time. Theres just one problem though, Abby and Dan are just dating, but having sex makes them feel like they are much more involved.

The invisible bond of sex is like the invisible bond of glue. Once glue dries, you cant see it, but you can see its impact. Its the same with sex. Once you have it you begin to see how it impacts the relationship.

Their hearts fuse and now they feel like they are one.

When two people become glued together, like Abby and Dan, they begin to have the same expectations a married couple would. But when there is no official commitment, expectations and needs are often not met and resentment can set in. Often the relationship breaks up. One of the top reasons teen relationships break up is because of sex. Sex promises something that the relationship is not able to deliver.

After a breakup, neither heart comes away whole. Instead, parts of each heart are left on the other. Thats what happens with us. We may walk away and move on, but we dont leave the relationship the same person we were when we started. Were no longer just us; we are us plus them. We bring parts of the other person with us, and we leave parts of ourselves behind with them.

And if we choose to go that way again, the whole thing works as it did before. Some of us think marriage (when it finally happens) will be a giant eraser that rubs the past away. But the truth is we dont walk into it alone. We bring bits of all our past partners with us, which keeps us from having the bond God designed for us and our special, beautiful other.

But you dont have to worry. Whether your sexuality has been taken from you, as in the case of abuse or rape, or you simply fell hard for the wrong someone, God can heal us. I know its true, because Hes done it for me and lots of others. Regardless of your past, God wants you to have His best for your future.
Barbara Wilson is an acclaimed author and speaker. Her journey to healing is detailed in her book, The Invisible Bond: How to Break Free From Your Sexual Past. To purchase her book and bible study resources visit the mici store.

Sex ruined Abby and Dans relationship. Before sex, they enjoyed a great friendship, but after sex, there were expectations, jealousy and demands that couldnt be fulfilled and the relationship ended within three months.

34

Images: Shirae

ISSUE FOUR

35

What does God say about waiting, as in specific verses in the Bible?

You know, the most amazing verse I can think of is in Songs of Songs, when the madly and intensely in love female half of two lovers says, Do not excite love, dont stir it up until the time is ripeand you are ready. (Songs of songs 2:5 MSG) Rob Bell says about this verse, Its almost as if she is saying, You know, whatever this is, it is so good, its so beautiful, we cant do anything to mess it up. I agree with him. The woman in Song of Songs had discovered the real thing, the genuine love that made her heart ache so much for her man that she could think of little else. Jesus also describes how a man will leave his family and become one flesh with his wife. One flesh is more than just a physical act. Its hearts. Its emotions. Its minds. Its experiences. Its the mingling of souls. You cannot be all that with lots of people. I suppose you can argue that He didnt really say to wait specifically, but in understanding the truth about intimacy between two people, it makes sense. I guess the clearest verses that favour waiting are also the ones relating to promiscuity (sleeping around) and sexual immorality. There are lots of them. 1 Corinthians 6:18 in particular says:

There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin, we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modelled love, for becoming one with another. (MSG)
It seems we were best designed for loving and becoming one with just one.

Q&A
36

ISSUE FOUR

37

flame
words: Rob Bell

Dode: literally translates as to carouse, to rock or to fondle. Dode is the physical, sexual element to a relationship.
38
ISSUE FOUR

39

Photo: Dottie Angel

We get incredible mileage out of this tired old English word of love. Well tell someone that we love them and then in the same breath well talk about how much we love a new car or a new pair of pants. In the Hebrew language, there are at least three different words for the English word LOVE.

Rayah: translates literally as friend, or companion; someone you hang out with. We might even translate it as the word soulmate. We hear people talk like this all the time. Theyll say things like, Shes my best friend. Or, I could tell him anything. These are all expressions of rayah. At the core of a relationship between lovers, theres friendship. Ahavah: this is deep affection. Its that sense of desiring to be with someone so much that your heart aches. Ahavah is when your mind and your heart are bent toward your lover with such passion and intensity that you can think of little else. The lovers in Song of Songs declare that ahavah is as strong as death; that many rivers cannot quench ahavah. Ahavah is love of the will and this is way more profound that fleeting romantic feelings or temporary urges. Ahavah is making the decision to join your life to the life of another. This is an emotion that leads to commitment; that leads to joining your life to someone elses. Ahavah is what makes things last.

Now imagine these three forms of love as individual flames. When a man and woman come together, all these flames get combined. Jesus has this idea of entire beings coming together. He uses the phrase one flesh to describe this connection between a man and a woman. This one flesh is way more than just a physical act. Its emotions. Its hearts. Its minds. Its experiences. Its the mingling of souls. And so this coming together physically becomes a picture of a deeper spiritual reality. Jesus teaches us that sex is ultimately a spiritual act and that something so beautiful, something so powerful, was meant to endure forever. The one flame burning all by itself will never be as hot as all the flames burning together. We were created for all the flames to burn as one.

Think about all the ways we mess this up. Take an affair for example. An affair is two people sharing the dode flame without any of the other flames. Without the rayah or the ahavah, theres no friendship, no commitment, no loyalty, no sacrifice. Its two people trying to get from one flame all the three flames together. No wonder it leaves a person empty and unfulfilled. We were created for so much more. Or how about the couple who have been married for years and are still together. Theres still some commitment, still some ahavah, but lets be honest, theres not much else. Theres no friendship, theres no sex. And they neglect the flames. Eventually they flicker, they fade and they go out. When you separate the flames, it can never really satisfy. Its like living outside how God wired you to live. Maybe our culture has no clue what true sexuality really looks like. Maybe the world around us, when it comes to sex, just doesnt get it. True sexuality is vast and mysterious. It involves all of you. You have a body, but you also have a soul and a spirit, and love is two people coming together and giving themselves to each other forever. So, may you honour the way God created you and have a profound sense of respect for the fact that you are a deeply spiritual and mysterious being, and that love is ultimately a profoundly spiritual thing. May you realise that the three flames were meant to burn together, and may you discover the big flame. Thank you Rob Bell. Thank you Nooma www.nooma.com

purchase nooma resources from the mici store www.micimagazine.com/micistore

40

ISSUE FOUR

41

introducing...

42

ISSUE FOUR

43

How did you come to love music? My mum and dad were always singing with me and teaching me songs when I was little. My dad played the guitar and taught me, my two younger brothers and sister how to sing together in harmony. Ive loved it since then. When did Jesus enter your world? Im so thankful for my beautiful parents who not only taught me about God and His love for me, but also showed me through the way they loved me. This made it so easy to grasp the truth that God was my heavenly Father and that He cared deeply for me. I trusted in His love and have treasured it for as long as I can remember.

What does living your dream life look like? I feel like Im living the dream! Haha! Im married to the best guy, Ive got an amazing family and friends who love me, I get to live in Australia, which is such a beautiful country to explore, and I love the beach which is not too far away. I feel bad because Ive got it so good really. At the same time I cant ever feel at home here. I cant feel happy when I know that someone I love is hurting. When I remember that as a father, God has to see us suffering, I realise that He experiences more pain than anyone else. To truly live the dream here I just need to be doing the journey with God. How did you know that your husband was the one? I just picked the best looking one. No, I really wanted God to choose my husband. I would always talk to Him about it. I was 23 when I started getting to know Jason. I admired him; his character, his humour, his love for fun and adventure, his love for people and his love and commitment to God. I was embarrassed to have a crush on him, but I couldnt help it! I stalked hung out with him for about a year and a half until we both felt God really wanted us to be together. We then started dating. He is my first and last boyfriend. We got married a year and a half later and have been living happily ever after. To be honest though, when we were dating I got really worried for a time. I wanted to be sure it was God who led me to him. I had so many questions like, Is it ok that Jas isnt really a musician? Can God still use us as a team? What if he isnt the one and Im taking the wrong path? I got so scared. To know that God is with us in our marriage is so assuring. He has continued to guide and teach us how to love and understand each other and how to work as a team with and for Him! Where do you get your inspiration for your music? Im usually inspired when God helps me see who He really is, which breaks the lies and misconceptions Ive had about Him. Its made me want to speak the truth in song. Inspiration also comes from love Ive experienced with family, friends and my husband.

MELISSA OTTO
54321
The last time I laughed until I cried was ... when my three siblings, Jonno, Billy and Sarah, and my husband Jason and I recently went on a tour to Singapore and then around Europe. Often we would stay with kind church folk. One night after a concert we were taken to a students dorm. Our host sweetly opened the door to our room and left us to make ourselves at home. There was a bed with mattresses piled on top, one for each of us, but no space on the floor to put them because it was such a small room. We laughed like crazy, maybe partly because we were tired. We joked about which space in the room we each would claim for the night where we would sleep standing up. Happy memory!

Its not fashionable but I love ... wearing clothes that suit me and make me feel comfortable. I also love not wearing shoes. Haha! No. I always wear shoes in shops or public toilets. Promise. I wish I never ... said or did things that hurt someone. The nicest thing someone ever said to me was ... I just love who you are. Somehow those words spoke right to the core of me. I guess every human heart longs to be fully known and fully loved.

44

download the full digital album for the special price of $9.99 for a limited time

www.micimagazine.com/micistore

What about if youre a virgin when you get married and have no idea what to do?

Q&A
48

Lovely, there is no right or wrong way to have sex. When you get married, both you and your husband will love discovering each other and what you enjoy. Our sexuality is something extremely natural to all of us, something we dont need to be taught. You dont need to know what to do, you just need to talk to him about it. It may not always feel comfortable at first, but the key is to constantly communicate. Talk to your new husband about sex, what feels right and what doesnt. Youll find the more you get to know each other physically (and in general), the more enriched your intimacy will be.

ISSUE FOUR

49

Photo: DreamGirlNat

desperate (sorry to use that word, but thats how it seemed) to meet someone and to get married. She loved her dad but had problems with him so wanted a man who would treat her right and show her how real men were supposed to be. I understood. Really. Guys dont often look my way either. Im trying to live with it but its hard. I opened up and told her how unhappy I sometimes felt, and suggestedhoping it didnt sound too lamethat maybe we encourage each other through it. For a moment she looked sort of sad. She probably wanted me to say something different or tell her she was really pretty and could have any guy she wanted. She said shed met this guy and that she really liked him. In fact, she said she loved him, and that little by little they were growing closer. So I asked her what she loved so much about him and she couldnt really say. Not really. She said things like, Oh hes cute and he seems to really care about me. But that was all. I hesitated to say anything at first, but decided if I truly was a good friend then Id be happy for her. So I hugged her and said how great it was that she had found someone. In my heart of hearts though, it bothered me terribly. I know lots of stuff about her; she is my friend after all. For the longest time she has had issues with herself, how she looks, how she measures up to other people, how much attention she gets (or doesnt get) from boys. She gets jealous of other girls and sometimes makes out that everything is everyone elses fault. When I first met her I never really noticed it cause she came across as all shy and timid. Then, at a party one night, we got to have a really good talk. She must have drunk a little cause she just blabbed and blabbed. She told me how she never felt pretty and how no guy ever really looked at her. She seemed Then her face changed and she seemed sort of far away. I watched her look across the room, stand up quickly, and walk off without a word. She was gone for ages, the whole night in fact. Next day in class she wrote me a note to say she bumped into this guy while getting a drink. They had started talking and one thing had led to another. I didnt know exactly what she meant but I could guess. That was a while ago. Since then, there have been lots more bumping into guys, mostly in clubs or at parties where she seems to hang out a lot. Now and again we have a girls night in, but the conversation always comes back to boys and how incomplete she feels without them. Ive never told her, but I think she is pretty. I feel as if saying so will only make things worse. Shell probably call me a liar. Then, last week, my friend drags me between the classrooms again, but even before I can stand still to catch my breath she starts crying. Shes tells me in broken up sentences that shes slept with him, this guy she totally loves, and now she might be pregnant. And at that

moment I feel scared and angry and upset for her all at once. So I hug her again and tell her well talk more after school. I try to call her that evening but she doesnt pick up her phone. The next day shes not at school, so I try again that evening and finally she picks up. She sounds tired, like shes been crying all day, and says in a really little voice that it was all a big mistake. This guy is now with someone else. She found out on Facebook. Luckily her period started that morning, but she thinks her mum suspects something cause shes been asking lots of strange questions. I dont think she believes Ive got a stomach bug, she says. I try to make her feel better. After we finish talking I cant help but wonder why she would let such a thing happen and so quicklyshe hardly knew him. But then I remember how sick I sometimes feel when I think no one will ever love me and maybe if I was also made to believe that a guy really cared about me then I might be where my friend is now. I should have been braver and told her the truth about how worried I was for her. I know what can happen in a moment of weakness, especially if you dont really like yourself. I hope I never forget this and how much all the heartache just isnt worth it. Besides, I still believe that I will meet someone really special one day. I know I will. I want to hang on, I want to wait for him and I should probably start learning to appreciate myself a lot more in the meantime. I wish she had, my friend that is, but if I help her and be more honest with her, maybe one day she will.

i have this friend

Words: Megan

Theres this friend I have who pulled me down the narrow bit between two classrooms one day and told me a secret.

50

ISSUE FOUR

51

Photo: Shira Sela

There are days when I wake up under a rain cloud. There are moments when I stand alone with nothing to say. There are times I wish I was invisiblefor just an hour, and people I would gladly forget if I could. But then a day like today happens and all I remember is how hard I laughed and how much I ate and how in love I felt. And for the first time in a gapless march of days and weeks and months, I look up and notice exactly how vast and marvellous that fabric of blue is. So clear and uninterrupted, you could see a balloon silently twist away for miles. So I blow one up. And as it wiggles in my hand as if its alive, I let the ribbon go. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, not when you have someone to hug, beauty to appreciate, hot chocolate to keep you warm, balloons to help you rememberand life.

52

What if I fight so hard to remain pure before I get married then I cant please my husband because Im not any good?

When you finally do get married petal, your husband will love you so completely, so intensely, that nothing you do will fail to please him. He will be besotted with you and will delight in you in every way. I know theres a lot out there that talks about compatibility and pleasing your man in bed. In our opinion, there is no such thing as compatibility. That only seems to matter when you want to get all you can from an encounterwhen sex is just about getting pleasure and nothing else. But your husbands heart will beat wildly at the very sight of you, and he will love learning about you in every way, just as you will about him. Thats what is so great about everything in marriage, including sex. Its all about wonderful, gentle discovery, not demands on perfection.

The most important thing is to find the right manone who is genuinely good and loves you to bits.

Q&A
54
ISSUE FOUR

55

Whole Wheat Brown Sugar Banana Bread

Photos: www.howsweeteats.com

Heres what I know about pancakes: They taste good with cherries. Apples and bacon too. They make slept-in mornings with toothpaste stains eight thousand times better. They probably wouldnt be good with things like broccoli or beansthats just weird. They arent the best choice for breakfast when you want to wear a string bikini. Now, Im well aware that banana pancakes are not a new development. I mean, according to my iTunes, Jack Johnson wants to make them for me all the time. Hes super sweet. I feel bad declining him day after day. So here you are, only a recipe away from super duper tasty awesomeness.

Do it! Do it!
Makes 12 2 cups whole wheat pastry flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg 2/3 cup milk 1 tablespoon vanilla extract 3 large ripe bananas, mashed 2 tablespoons butter, melted

In a large bowl, combine flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a large bowl. Measure out the milk and add the vanilla extract to it. Mix together the dry ingredients and add in milk and vanilla, stirring to combine. The mixture will still be dry. Add in mashed bananas and mix. Add in melted butter and stir until batter is somewhat smooth. Heat a frying pan or skillet on medium. Spoon batter into discs and cook until bubbles form on top, about 2-3 minutes. Flip and cook for a minute or two more. Repeat with remaining batter. Serve hot with butter and syrup, or the vanilla maple glaze. Note: if you dont have/cant find whole wheat pastry flour, use 1 cup of regular whole wheat and 1 cup of all purpose. Or 2 cups of all purpose.

Pancakes
recipe: www.howsweeteats.com

Vanilla Maple Glaze

1/2 cup maple syrup 3/4 cup powdered sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Combine all ingredients in a bowl and stir until smooth. Pour over pancakes.

56

ISSUE FOUR

57

The general decree is no sex before marriage, but what about the awkward to discuss grey area of other physical intimate actions, which are becoming increasingly acceptable among us teenagers? Sorry to be blunt, but like fingering and stuff. What does God actually say about that and is it right or wrong?
Hi there lovely. Thanks for being blunt. We appreciate it. Thats a really excellent question by the way. I guess the whole idea of stepping into that grey area in the first place is to experience the closeness and pleasure of sexual contact without having to deal with actually having sex. Fingering, oral sex, lying together half naked seems an acceptable release for teenagers, but essentially they require nearly the same depth of knowing someone that sex does. Theres still a lot of trust involved and youre letting another person into a very intimate and vulnerable part of you. What does God say about it all? Well, actually, nothing. The Bible doesnt specifically mention fingering, or oral sex or any other intimate acts other than sex. But then I dont really expect it to. let someone climb all over you and put their hands (and fingers) where they want. And since were being blunt, being that intimate with someone only to leave them or have them leave you feels pretty crappy too, cause unless they turn out to be the one you end up with, neither of you will be destined to stick around. And when theres heartbreak involved, the feelings of betrayal become even more intense when you know they have enjoyed every part of you. We understand that as teenagers youre at a point where exploring everything about who you are is a major drive. But we also know how blurry the lines can get. Theres nothing to stop you from having sex once you step into a grey area. It will take incredible self-control to leave it at just that, and often, thats when things happen that youre not ready for, or dont expect or dont want. I guess it comes back to the same thing: is he or she the one for you? The guy or girl you believe will nourish you and nurture you in every way forever? No? Then walk away. Yes? Then give it time. If still yes then start planning your future as soon as youre old enough. And wait. With one act the rest of your life can change, so dont rush.

Q&A
58

What it does talk a lot about is how much you mean to God, how much value He places on you and how much value you should place on yourself. The Bible tells you how to treat other people, how you should expect to be treated, how you should handle life, and how you should love and care for one another. I guess my point is that God doesnt have to tell you not to engage in any of this stuff. He would rather you understood how amazing and beautiful He made you, because once you do, it suddenly becomes incredibly difficult to

ISSUE FOUR

59

one last thing

When talking about waiting its easy to see it as a numbers game. Having sex with one person, preferably your husband? Good. Having sex with lots of people? Bad. In fact its not so much about numbers as it is about what sex requires to be at its best and to fulfil everything it was designed forthat you were designed for. True sexuality can only be had with one, because for it to be at its most amazing it needs a level of friendship, deep affection, commitment and intimacy that takes time to develop and should ultimately last forever. Its impossible to have that with lots of people. What we would love you all to take away is that sex is not just an act, its also an expression of all the good stuff weve already mentioned. Its something that brings couples incredibly close. It heals, it reaffirms their already deep love for each other and offers them an incredible experience that no one else can share. The whole idea of waiting is to find him or herthat person who stands out above all others in every way. You can trust them and be yourself with them and never need to worry about waking up one day to find them gone or with someone else. Issues of the heart can be huge. Having someone you care about walk away from you or decide its just not working can hurt worse than a kick in the head. Your friends may think youre weird for even thinking about waiting, but important stuff like this has got to be your choice and yours aloneregardless of what your friends say or think. As Rob Bell describes it, True sexuality is vast and mysterious. It involves all of you. You have a body, but you also have a soul and a spirit and love is two people coming together and giving themselves to each other forever. Thats how God designed it.

60

ISSUE FOUR

61

Photo: Gitte

THANK YOU Shira Sela for your contribution to this issue of Mici Magazine. To find more of Shiras amazing prints SHOP www.etsy.com/shop/shirae

Whether youre a church, music artist, film maker, minister, not-for profit or media label, our multifaceted, industry relevant services are here to help you! www.ministryinc.org

Providence Foundation is a non-profit organisation that provides information, assistance, support and education for women and young girls facing life changing decisions concerning an unplanned pregnancy including keeping the baby, placing it up for adoption or abortion. www.providencefoundation.net

Licensing to meet every need.

http://brandpublishing.org

interactive wallscapes ~ magnetic and restickable fabric decals designed for grownups and littlies!

adifferentperspective
A contemporary blog that deals with the real issues of life. Its all about helping you lead an extraordinary life by looking at the ordinary things from... a different perspective. Check it out! Berni Dymet - author, broadcaster... passionate about sharing the love of Jesus with millions of people each week around the globe. www.adifferentperspective.org

Fall in love with the unborn

Emilys Voice exists to help Australians fall in love with the unborn and shine a bright light on the dark side of the womb through advertising and social media. www.emilysvoice.com If youve loved the pictures used throughout this edition of Mici you will love www.EyePoetryPhotography.etsy.com

dynamic decor and things for playful people ~ something halfway between art and play www.tinch.co.nz

your product here

ADVERTISE here

see our media kit for more details www.micimagazine.com

Providing webhosting and web design for ministries, artists, organisations, social packages to high end corporate business design and hosting, theres something to suit every budget. www.ichristianhosting.com

high impact communication graphics for PRINT WEB anything

www.asteroidesign.com.au see our media kit for more details www.micimagazine.com

62

OUR SUPPORTERS

ISSUE FOUR

63