Introduction Equality is the cornerstone of every democratic nation, however marriage is considered to be a traditional, cultural and religious norm.

An absolute submission of a wife to her husband is a concept as natural in many part of the world. Controversies have risen in relation to marriage, feminist theories approaches marriage as an institution rooted in patriarchy that encourages male power and superiority and it is one of the primary institution oppressing women. Also, feminist theorists suggest that marriage, is the most widespread form of forced motherhood and sexual slavery over time. In the beginning of the contemporary feminist, feminist seeking carefully for a grand theory, for some feminist theorist, gender in equality in capitalist connection of work and exploitation in the society , the family and the control of the womans anatomy and sexual capabilities. Also some women were trapped through their reproductive body and the mothering connection of the institution of marriage, Nancy (1989:1).The cultural or ideological construction of women, was located within the domestic sphere or associated with nature. Most women will agree with the feminist theory that marriages work against women however this comes with a Big BUT as everything in the world goes through changes so does the institution of marriage and it has still endured. However to completely agree with the notion that marriage works against women interest, it is more suited to a particular time and era where this is completely true and abandoning the changes that it has gone through. Further in to this essay i will look at the extent to which marriage works against women and how that might not be completely true due to women empowerment and social and economic changes , drawing evidence from feminist theories and relevant books, journals and other relevant sources .

The fact that men and women are trained after birth to take a certain role in life and learn from their parent how to act and what role to take in the society, that has had a huge effect on how men and women act in the institution of marriage. Women are thought how to act in the private sphere and men in the public sphere. In the early days particularly the 18th century, women were thought to be incapable physically, intellectually and emotionally and their roles as wives and mothers were natural and must be performed without undue stress to the husband. Literarily speaking, the woman became a hidden person

sunk into and merged with the personality of her husband entitling him to all her property and earnings, Joan (1989). Women did not only accepted but embraced marriage because that was their ingrained morals, they saw marriage as an inevitable role in life and had to survive and thrive under the unequal institution of marriage. Most parent gave out their daughters for marriage which was an automatic induction into adulthood and a release from the so called shameful dependency on the parent home equating that she should be dependent on her husband physically and emotionally, Joan (1989). My grandfather is an example of a man who dominated his wives, he practically married another if he was not satisfied with his current wife and sent them away, and they were resulted to begging him to stay because a divorce will give her family a shameful reputation and her as well. The rules accepted by the society was if you were happy or not you had to stay and endure the marriage, therefore discontented wife ,provoked into resistance or rebellion by her selfish or vicious husband ,could find herself helpless and victimised by the law and society through her earnings or access to her children when things went wrong Perkins,(1989:4-5) More significantly marriage was wide- ranging according to social importance, to an extent barely understandable to the modern democratic intellect .The upmost category of the royal family were liable to unique laws restraining their right to wed and their choosing of a partners, and royal marriages had an illustrating consequence on the population of the society and instantly they had to fill the place expected of them by the whole public. Women were trained and brain washed to accept whatever it was they were facing in a marriage. Also, there has always been a minority of women who worked held jobs but mostly drop out, get married and give birth therefore assuming the role the home maker and all domestic affairs gets saddled on to the wife. Meanwhile the husband and the father of her kids only takes the responsibility of income earning examples of this is dominant in parts of west Africa where I am from. Again, some men get married to women to help them with the farm ,however they later give birth and become a full time home maker .In the early century women did not object to being subjected to giving up their whole life to take care of their husbands and the kids ,women accepted this role as the norm and society had accepted it without any objection and this paved the way for husbands to modify the rules and create restriction

regarding their wives in marriages since society has also granted the man absolute right to his wife . Patriarchal ideology hugely promotes the idea of domestic femininity ,which contradicts the reality of most working class women ,but since the beginning of the 21 century the feminist theory suggest that women are refrain from employment outside the home ,is almost invalid now due to the fact that contemporary family unit distribution of effort in which the wifes service is integral around her family work and marriage (Hartman,1979) Before the 21 century, women did not have the choice of choosing who they married because they were depended on to bring fame and fortune to the family, protect the families dynasty or attention is given to marring of daughters whose association with other families will bring them social , political uplift and attention, with opportunity for material bargain . In the eighteenth and nineteenth century balls were thrown and massive parties to ensure a good match, which means with the famous and wealthy men. The upmost structure then regarding property and social arrangement, regarded marriage as the arena in which the whole society turned and women where the victims (Joan 1989). The religious views regarding married women too has boosted the believes and views on women restriction most people combine cultural and traditional believes to create a more strict rule on the woman which in return makes the women handicapped and they become more economically dependent on their husband. Especially, in the Islamic and Christianity religion a married woman was not allowed to converse freely with men , and her dress code is her whole body should be covered which means she is not allowed to work, she can only depend on her husband for everything and also obey everything he says (Brittan 1989). However since the 21 century, laws, social views ,politics and gender discrimination against women have been considered and amended a great deal ,in marriages women lived the life of willing sacrifices but now they have the right to react against frustrating marriages and enforced changes in the legal law between husband and wives also aids in enforcing their decision. Marriage which limited womens ability, allowed them various survival means for managing and gaining a life of independence .Women earned the protection of developing public laws, such as legal separation and also control of their own earnings

.Between the 1870 and 1923 in England women were given the right to divorce on the same reason as men which means women achieved equal legal rights in marriages which was next to impossible during and before the early 18th century, Joan (1989).This single handily paved the way for women access to employment opportunities, education and political rights .Marriage is no longer a factor that holds women back from accruing education and being part of the working force. An avid example is in my country Nigeria, more recently, men will rather marry a woman that earns a living and make her own decisions even while she is married to them, than a woman they can control or dominate recent falls in the pay gap are generally due to women improving their educational qualifications, work experience, and tenure with an employer Bourdieu (1986) this contradicts the feminist notion that marriage is the canner stone in the edifice of patriarchy. Marriage used to be like sentencing a woman to life imprisonment of her husband or whoever she was married to, however in recent times she is free to file for a divorced if she was not happy with the marriage without being stigmatised or disowned by her family, society and treated like an outcast. She can also gain custody of her kids and her rightful share of what use to be their combined property, she has the right to choose who she marries without being forced to get married for the sake of saving family fortune, fame or political and social stance therefore she is no longer and instrument but a human who is to be treated same as men. Preference theory accepts that women were socially determined in the past and maybe in some society still, however recent social and economic changes are creating a new scenario in some societies, in which women can make genuine choices in this respect much feminist theories is backwards Hartman(1979:205). Marriages is now an institution of choice to women in most part of the world. Although in some places in the world that are not as developed as European nations but are still developing, the laws and rules surrounding marriage is more relaxed in recent times, a woman use to be regarded as invalid if she was to be divorced or leaves her husbands house, she was referred to as a prostitute in some part of Nigeria, however in recent times women could leave there marriages and the care of their children with the husband while she provides and do things she loves. An example is Ellen Johnson Sirleaf ,who later divorced from James Sirleaf , became the president of Liberia in 2005, which

would have never been possible ,the tight laws and views on women in marriage and divorced made sure women never got high positions in matters of politics because women were meant in the private sphere and men public sphere however women continue to gain more recognition married or divorced . The sense of male dominated society ,and hence structure womens lives and activities, could thus be a historical specific society development that is already fading away in modern societies ,Hartman(1979:206). Just the way women are made to believe that their place is in the home, men in those days and even now in some part of the world are been raised to think and believe it is their right and they deserved to rule their wives as providers for the home . To rule marriage in such a manner as such should be illegal on the grounds that it reinforces male dominance which is an excessive intrusion on liberty, even if one should believe marriage irredeemably unequal. Men also feel an incredible sense of guilt when they are unemployed or way after they have retired and dont have any need for money example women might be willing to consider the alternative of being a home maker and a mother, however high pressure on a man to be employed dose not seize to exist (Hartman1979:207) .Also feminist theories have abandoned the aspect of different things might appeal to people of different race and ethnic groups some women might still understand the restrictions of marriage but it is what they want and this does not tamper with their feminist view

Conclusion
Feminist suggest that marriage is the Conner stone used in promoting the idea of patriarchy, which might be true in some cases, However it can be a one sided augment ,failure to recognise the idea of race and choice. In recent years there has been a lot of change as regards to women both in the private and public sphere .Agreed in the 18th century women were tied down to the institution of marriage as the ultimate goal ,but in recent times women are left with choice of becoming a home maker or a career woman. Other institutions can be accused of being patriarchal but the level of patriarchy in the institution of marriage is less and becoming an equal ground for men and women .There is no doubt patriarchy still exist but not at the level it use to be according to Hartman it is a historically specific social development this is already

fading away in modern societies therefore it is important to recognise the changes and progress that has been made.

References
Barbara,E(1978) Feminism and the Contemporary Family." Socialist Review 8.3 (1978): 11-36, 22 Brittan, A. (1989) Masculinity and Power New York: Blackwell Bourdieu,P. (1986)Distinction: A social critique of the Judgement of taste .London: Routledge Chodorow, N. (1989) Feminism and Psychoanalytic Theory. New Haven: Yale University Press. Hartmann, H. (1979) The unhappy marriage of Marxism and feminism: progressive union. Capital and Class Towards a more

Joan,P.(1989) Women and marriage in the nineteenth-century England, London: Routledge

Lenore Weitzman, The Marriage Contract: Spouses, Lovers and the Law (New York, NY: Free Press, 1981). Barbara,E(1978) Feminism and the Contemporary Family." Socialist Review 8.3 (1978): 11-36, 22 Brittan, A. (1989) Masculinity and Power New York: Blackwell Bourdieu,P. (1986)Distinction: A social critique of the Judgement of taste .London: Routledge Chodorow, N. (1989) Feminism and Psychoanalytic Theory. New Haven: Yale University Press. Hartmann, H. (1979) The unhappy marriage of Marxism and feminism: progressive union. Capital and Class Towards a more

Joan,P.(1989) Women and marriage in the nineteenth-century England, London: Routledge

Lenore Weitzman, The Marriage Contract: Spouses, Lovers and the Law (New York, NY: Free Press, 1981).
Martha Albertson Fineman, ( 1995). The Neutered Mother. the Sexual Family and other Twentieth Century Tragedies, New York: Routledge.

Martha Nussbaum, Sex and Social Justice (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1999) p. 29; 65; 89; 125.)