Watching TV! A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes: Wife: Is that Bret Lee?

Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler. Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother. Husband: He does not have an actor brother. Wife: What about Bruce Lee? Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian. Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes. Husband: No. It is called action replay. Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one. Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta. Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter. Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit. Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Hit? Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to? Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'. Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye. Is the game over? Wife: How many runs to win? Husband: 72 in 36 balls Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball. Frustrated husband turns off the TV. Wife turns it on and watches 'Saraswasti Chandra'. Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra? Wife: Don't you dare disturb me...

Kahan, Kyun, Kiske Saath? COLUMBUS agar married hota to America kabhi discover nahi kar pata. Kyunki tab us se poocha jata: 1. Kahan jaa rahe ho? 3. Kyun Jaa rahe ho? 2. Kiske saath jaa rahe ho? 3. Main bhi chalungi. 4. Wapas kab aaoge? 5. Ghar reh kar hi discover karlo. 6. Mere liye kya laoge?

7. Wapas aate waqt sabji lete aana. 8. Pahunch ke phone karna. 9. Har baar tum hi kyon discover karte ho? Koi aur kyon nahi kar sakta?

Facebook Freak! Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge? Student: Facebooking Karunga !! Teacher: Nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge? Student: Facebook pages ka Admin banunga. Teacher: Ohoo, I mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge? Student: Facebook Admin Rights. Teacher: IDIOT! Mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa ke liye kya karoge? Student: Facebook par Page bnaunga 'I MOM & DAD' Teacher: Stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain ? Student: Mere Facebook ka Pasword. Teacher: Oh God, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai? Student: Facebook, but never Face your Book. Hinglish

Watching TV! A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes: Wife: Is that Bret Lee? Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler. Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother. Husband: He does not have an actor brother. Wife: What about Bruce Lee? Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian. Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes. Husband: No. It is called action replay. Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one. Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta. Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter. Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit.

Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Hit? Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to? Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'. Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye. Is the game over? Wife: How many runs to win? Husband: 72 in 36 balls Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball. Frustrated husband turns off the TV. Wife turns it on and watches 'Saraswasti Chandra'. Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra? Wife: Don't you dare disturb me...

Marriage Kahan, Kyun, Kiske Saath? COLUMBUS agar married hota to America kabhi discover nahi kar pata. Kyunki tab us se poocha jata: 1. Kahan jaa rahe ho? 3. Kyun Jaa rahe ho? 2. Kiske saath jaa rahe ho? 3. Main bhi chalungi. 4. Wapas kab aaoge? 5. Ghar reh kar hi discover karlo. 6. Mere liye kya laoge? 7. Wapas aate waqt sabji lete aana. 8. Pahunch ke phone karna. 9. Har baar tum hi kyon discover karte ho? Koi aur kyon nahi kar sakta?

Learning US Customs A Chinese decides to retire and move to USA after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He bought a home on a small piece of land. A few days after moving in. the friendly American neighbor decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chinese running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through

the window and sees the Chinese urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese leading a bull down the drive-way, ...pause...., and then put his left ear next to the bull's butt. The American bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese and says, "Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighborhood and see you running around the yard after hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's butt, it could just about shit on you." The Chinaman is very taken back and says, "Sorry sir, you no understand, these no ... Chinese customs I doing, these American Customs." "What do you mean," says the neighbor, "Those aren't American customs." "Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me," replied the Chinese, "He say to become true American, I must learn to .... chase chicks, .... get piss drunk, and ....listen to bull-shit."