Running head: FRESHMAN FEARS

Freshman Fears Edith Colato West Coast University

FRESHMAN FEARS

Since the very commencement of my embarkment on the career in nursing, there have been fears that constantly challenge me to take on such the voyage. The fear of my emotional state perturbing my profession, of my first work experience, and institutional predicaments all haunt my mind. Vainly, I have attempted to hush away that fearful voice inside of me that asks: what if you get too attached to a patient and he dies?How will you cope with that? How will you react when a patient comes in for care that has a cracked open head or worse? What then Edith? The idea that I may faint or make a disapproving physical gesture on the job because I see something unpleasant haunts my thoughts. My mother has performed surgeries on people's private regions and she depicts that, in some cases, she had to be prepared to make the area more hygienic while masking her disgusted face under a professional facial expression. Mary Roach highlights in her articlewhen she describes the video narrator to have held a emotionless, mechanical voicethat there must be a sense of professionalism in a nurse's conduct. Implying that, as a nurse, one must be aware to not let one's personal emotions be apparent. Watching a youtube video once, where an Iranian man went diving into the Mediterranean Sea and accidentally hit the edge of the concrete with his head before entering the water. I was horrified and a bit disgusted to see how the nurse, with his hands, tried to put the split face together on the way to the hospital while the patient was breathing. Like it or not, there comes a time when a nurse must face a patient with a horrific situation. In those types of scenarios, one must just act professionally and be strong against the temptation to run out of the room. According to Mary Roach(2003), a way one can get over the phobia of gruesome situations can be by objectification[pg. 3]. To Roach, this is when one detaches oneself from the patient and enters into a state of mind in which they see the patientor in Roach's situation, dead people--as

FRESHMAN FEARS objects [pg.3]. As immoral as it might sound to some it is, in most cases, better to look at the job as well, a job. By tricking the mind a bit it might ease one's nerve and hence allows the benefit of premium care.

There is always that constant fear of my emotional stableness when faced the passing of a patient. My aunt depicted her first situation where a close patient of hers actually died under her care. She recollects that even though it was shocking that she held her professional profile and kept in mind that she did all she could do and there was nothing else she could do. Death is inevitable and as a nurse one must keep that in mind. One must also acknowledge that there is no humanly way possible to maintain anyone from death really. It should be seen clearly that even though medical technology advances it still does not ensure anyone from dying. Death is part of the cycle of life and, as medical professionals, we must acknowledge that we did everything we could have done. That is why not attaching oneself too close to patients is a preferable trait. Similar to the nurse in the story written by Fitzgerald(1937), one must constantly keep in mind that one must take the job as just a job and one can only do so much, as the nurse's realization that she can not do anything to help the alcoholic. My most minimal fear is that I may not be able to memorize everything I am being taught and retain that information for the rest of my career. There is so much terminology and information that is needed to be memorized. How will I retain all that information and on a long term? I also worry about passing the NCLEX and obtaining my RN Licensure. But with determination and different techniquessuch as rhymes and mnemonicsI believe I can slowly conquer that fear. The sense of fear of starting to practice hands on the profession also comes to practice. I had a personal experience where I worked as a chart filer in a clinic and was treated harshly by longer working co-workers. My co-workers would lie about the work I'd do, when I'd clock in

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and out, the breaks I'd take and when something would go wrong they would promptly blame me. However, registered nurse Brown(2010) highlights that though nurse bullying is inevitable, it is not always a fact and assures that if we all do our part we will find pleasant communities[pg.1] or environments to work in. Now how will I be able to conquer the fears of my emotional stableness becoming a nuance in my profession, of my first work environment, and school problems? Rosa Parks once said, I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. Referring to the idea that if one stands determined and passionately blind one can eventually extinguish any fear held on to in the initiation of the voyage one decides to embark, she acknowledged her fears and challenged them with her incentives. My determination to help those in need and to give a better future to my family is louder than the fears that try to intimidate me. This same determination will help me manage and use my fears as assets rather than flaws when time comes.

FRESHMAN FEARS References Brown, T. (2010, Feb 11). When the Nurse is A Bully. NYTimes. Retrieved Jun 29, 2013, from http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/11/when-the-nurse-is-a-bully/?_r=0 Fitzgerald, F. S. (1937, Feb. ). In Read An Alcoholic Case. (Chapter 1An Alcoholic Case) Retrieved Jun. 20, 2013, from http://fullreads.com/literature/an-alcoholic-case/ Roach, M. (2013). Stiff : the curious lives of human cadavers. New York, W.