15 Reasons to Think Independently of Appreciation or Criticism of the People

We are often flattered by appreciation and hurt by criticism. While it is true that approval boosts our morale and criticism depresses us, quite often an obsessive quest for approval becomes a psychiatric problem. People almost go in a mode of complete self-negation and keep devising ways to please others. This brings us to the importance of the need to think and act independently of what the people talk or think about us. It should, however, be noted that in our zest for independence we should not lose sight of the legitimate sensitivities of the people around us and also the need to remain with a certain amount of social discipline. Independent thinking does not mean being anarchic. Also we should be open to helpful and constructive criticism. There are 15 reasons why we should not be obsessed with pleasing people to seek their appreciation. 1. Constant quest for appreciation may become a psychological problem Most of us who think that they are not getting the type and amount of approval they expect stop interacting with the people. They become introvert. The problem aggravates further when they try to create an imaginary world where they indulge in some sort of delusive self- talking especially with people whose favourable opinions and views they seek in the actual world, but cannot get. 2. We are all born unique individuals Spiritually speaking, each one of us is born as a unique soul with individual sanskars or certain basic thought patterns. Trying to cramp them to fit into the thinking moulds of others would mean going against the very laws of divinity and nature. If you do not believe in spirituality, still, it cannot be denied that biologically each one of us has unique genes and DNA. Forcing them to go against their natural course may prove counterproductive Nonetheless, independent thinking does not mean flouting fundamental social norms and responsibilities or altogether ignoring the accumulated wisdom of the

ages. It only means listening attentively to the views of those who love and care for us and balance them with our own specific biological and spiritual needs. 3. Chasing approval from others may distract us from working to achieve our goals. It dilutes our focus on what we really wish to pursue and achieve. This may ultimately impede our progress and happiness resulting out of it. 4. How many people can you please by seeking their approval? There are hordes of them and each one has their own tastes, likes and dislikes. In trying to please everyone it is likely you end up displeasing most of them. 5. Independent thinking is essential for personal and social evolution. What would have happened if Darwin had listened to the opinions of the respected people of the society of those days and stopped pursuing his theory of evolution?

Socrates 6. Fiercely independent people follow their own heart and soul even at great risks. Socrates preferred to drink hemlock rather please the people in authority and seek their approval and live like their slave. He lived and died like truly free and fearless man. 7. Constant anxiety to seek approval from others causes tension and depression. You are always looking sideways to see if someone is looking and risk losing your chosen path. 8. Fear of approval and disapproval suppresses and kills creativity. You need to follow your instincts to live a truly joyous and happy life. I too will something make And joy in the making! Altho' tomorrow it seem' Like the empty words of a dream Remembered, on waking.Robert Bridges 9. Worst kind of hypocrisy and self-deception

Working to always please others is the worst of kind self-defeating hypocrisy and dishonesty. You force yourself to obey others even if you think they are wrong. It is not doing what you believe is wrong or right but what others believe is right or wrong for you. In process you do not live for the pleasure of yourself, but for others. You are killing your soul. 10. Seeking approval is like living an imagined life in others breath. Any person can breathe-blow you away like a useless piece of tiny straw. 11. Fear of approval or disapproval dissipates the raw, virginal and primordial instincts and feelings that our spirit is endowed with when we are born. It kills the purity, simplicity, joy and innocence of our soul. 12. Fear of approval and disapproval kills initiative Ability to take free and fearless initiative is the driving force for the evolution of self and society. It is the basic quality that defines true leadership that is marked by taking bold decisions regardless of what people think of you. 13. You live an artificial rather than a natural life. If you follow your own instincts you can fly in the soaring heights of the limitless skies. On the other hand, you stay caged like a parrot with your wings clipped, howsoever beautiful and colourful you may look. You become a slave of others than being a master of your own free will. 14. Seeking appreciation of others stifles your divine powers of intuition, visualization and foresight. Most people stifle their innate divine powers of intuition and clairvoyance under the pressure of approval and disapproval of people around them. 15. Fear of approval leads to constrained and regimented living. It curbs creativity and inventiveness. Quite often you come to grief for following the approval of others rather than your own instinct. About me: I am a student of Life, the hard task master and I wish to share whatever little I have learnt for the benefit of those who care to read my views. You are welcome to visit my blog Luminous Eye for more such articles