Relevance of joint family in a fast growing society like in India

There is a limit of selfishness in us as human beings. It just only depends on how much we are..!! Why cant we have a broader point of view squeezing our selfishness to altruism? A joint family is a group of people who generally live under one roof, who share the common kitchen, who hold all property in common, take part in common family worship and are related to one another as some particular type of kindred. This definition refers to an ideal situation of family in terms of its corporate character. In structural terms, joint family implies living together of members of two or more elementary families both lineally and laterally. When a joint family consists of grandparents, parents, grandsons and daughter, it is called a lineal joint family. Straight benefits: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Give social strength and a sense of security Economic: sharing of resources saves money to grow wealth faster No need to worry about your Kids and young ones, since always there will be someone home to look after them Old ones can die in peace with love around own people around Makes you more culture and tolerable to other irritation of life Direct support in difficult times A harmonious joint family set-up can be a boon. It can provide a wonderful support system emotionally and financially. In the ideal sense, one can share both ones triumphs and failures. The joint family is ideal for the woman who wants to work as well as have a family. Working women have someone to leave their children with when they are away at work, rather than leaving their children in a crche or with servants. After all, as they say, blood is thicker than water. Womenfolk are commonly blamed for the breaking up of a family because they are the most sufferers due the disadvantages, which is more evident in most of the cases. Modern stresses, city strains and rampant materialism conspire to make urban joint families irrelevant or even extinct. It becomes difficult for an independent lady with self esteem and self ego to survive in a situation like this. Exception case: The family of M.M. Krishnamurthy has been living jointly for four generations in the midst of bustling Bangalore. They even run a family business, the MM industries. Krishnamurthys 40-member family is known as the MM Industries family, MM industry being the family business. Septuagenarian Krishnamurthy, second of four brothers, is the head. He rejoices in joint living, he told me, I cannot explain the joys of living together. One has to live and experience it. It requires so much adjustment and patience. It teaches you so many things.

We prosper only because of our unity. Everyone in the family is expected to do their own job, Krishnamurthy told. Girls in the MM family are allowed to study as much as they want, but they are not permitted to work. Its against the family tradition, states Krishnamurthy. The women visit their relatives and attend family functions. Viewing movies is very rare. All the earning members contribute a portion of their income to a common finance pool. All family expenses are met by this account. A perfect record of all expenses is kept with vouchers, says Krishnamurthy. Youngsters are not given pocket money. Only the earning members handle money. All requirements are met by the elders. Youth cannot go out without the permission of their parents or elders. To me, Krishnamurthy divulged two secrets of a successful joint family, To live together like this, everyone must contribute to the family, not just money, but also sharing the work equally. And there must be a strong leader, a kind of benevolent dictator. Minimising the conjugal and parent-child relationships are important for system maintenance. This is so, because if they were allowed to develop, they could set the atmosphere for the creation of a nuclear family. Institutionalised mechanisms created to control this include: (a) the segregation of the sexes, which is manifested in a sexual division of roles as well as in a separate social life for both men and women, the rules of which are internalised through gender role socialisation; (b) the disapproval of the romantic complex prior to marriage through arranged alliances in which the family plays a pivotal role, the absence of courtship and the discouragement of overt manifestations of emotional behaviour between the couple. Deviations from these are highly condemned, with the spousal relation being one of respect from the wifes side and indifference/kindliness from the husbands; and (c) the ability of all the adults in the house, especially the males, to regard all the children as their own and not favour any one child/any one group of children. Despite these mechanisms, physical and emotional intimacy between the spouses and a strong mother-child bond do develop and coexist with joint family sentiments. At times, when they conflict, they could lead to a division of the joint family. As far as the relations in the joint family are concerned, system maintenance being of prime importance, familial and fraternal bonds are encouraged. Problems in the fraternal relationship could arise because age differences give rise to status differences which, in turn, could precipitate rivalry and conflict. These are thwarted by the principle of deference to age. Another potential source of conflict is the mothers favour for a particular child. Womens status and living experiences in a joint family are determined firstly, by their secondary gender status; and secondly, by the fact that they enter the family as strangers, outsiders and individuals who must fit in with an already developed functional and cultural unit. Besides these factors, their diverse backgrounds generate strain for them and between them. But they must conform in order to survive, though they may find this distasteful and stressful. This could

work as a strain on the family, threatening its stability if the conjugal bond is strong, thereby demonstrating the relevance of minimising it. Mechanisms to reduce this strain include a further division of work among the women, the system of arranged marriage, the absence of the romantic complex, caste endogamy and early marriage. While caste endogamy facilitates a homogeneous background for the women, early marriage ensures the wifes adaptability. These facilitate the smooth functioning of the family, though women may continue to feel unhappy who develop prejudice towards any relationship. Everyone knows how difficult family relations are in general. Nuclear families sometimes find it hard to maintain cordial relations. One would probably think that in joint families with so many people and so many vested interests, maintaining family harmony must be an uphill task. I feel that as far as problems are concerned, people who have done study on family and relationships would definitely not say that there are more problems in joint families and less in nuclear families. Some people have difficulty dealing with other people and such people will face problems wherever they go. For a joint family system to work, the members will have to learn to adjust, to overcome their petty jealousies, to develop mutual respect between the generations, and to learn to give each other space. Whos the boss? Another problem is that there are too many authority figures in joint families. Sometimes, grandparents undermine the mothers authority because they feel that they have more experience in raising children. They pass adverse remarks to the mother in front of the children like, You dont know how to handle children As a result, the mother feels suppressed, depressed and frustrated. She, in turn, takes her frustration out on her children, which affects the overall development of the child. In a book Dr. Mehrotras opinion, Children become very manipulative. They become the master players of the game. They learn how to get exactly what they want by playing the elders off against each other. Not every family is a happy family. What is most important is the atmosphere in a joint family. If there is a congenial atmosphere in a joint family, it can be a virtue. However, if there is tension and conflict between the members of a joint family and if they are constantly playing games and trying to score over each other, all the advantages of a joint family are lost.

54% of women prefer a joint family!

The following research by one of the leading online matrimonial sites simply got me stumped because I thought it was the other way around! Shaadi.com released its annual survey of its members' matrimonial attitudes, with some fascinating results. Think about this! 54% of women prefer living in a 'joint family' after marriage alongside parents and siblings whereas only 21% want to be in a 'nuclear set-up.'

21% Really? With the surge in young people moving to the cities and hence the rise of 'cosmopolitan couples', this finding came as a shock to me. I asked a friend (married for three years) about what she felt about the nuclear-joint family dynamics. Her reponse was immediate: "I would go for a nuclear setup any day," she said, "because couples need their own space, privacy. That way relationships with the extanded family, in-laws etc remain affectionate and don't go sour." So, in a joint family setup, there are no affections at all, I ask her. "Most often no," she replied, "they're forced." Whether these affections are forced or not, the next point is even more shocking! According to this The Wall Street Journal report, Shaadi.com surveys Indian attitudes on marriage : - What if all hell breaks loose in the joint family, with daughter-in-laws and mom-in-laws fighting like on those Star TV soap operas? That shouldn't matter too much, according to the survey, since about half the respondents would marry their partner even if they don't get along with the in-laws. However, another friend who grew up in a 20-member joint family setup, agrees to the findings. "I think the joint family setup is one of the biggest support systems you can have especially if the other members are understanding and you don't have too many rules that restrict you," she says. But where do you find families like that? Why not debate this Shaadi.com finding? Is the joint family setup back in vogue? Or do couples still prefer being a nuclear family? Please leave your comments in the comments space. Follow me on @Khrisu for more on Relationships and Family.

http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/blogs/kpatra/54-women-prefer-joint-family043654047.html

Disadvantages of Joint Family System

1. The joint family under the strict control of head of family tends to be conservative and orthodox. It cannot change with times. 2. Member of family lack initiative because fruits of their initiative will ultimately be shared by other members who may be lazy and idle. Therefore, nobody puts in hard labor, which is so necessary for advancement in standard of living. 3. Due to lack of initiative in its members, the economic condition of the joint family goes on deteriorating. 4. There is disharmony due to generation gap in the family which affects the progress of the family adversely. 5. In a joint family the women look after household chores. Thus their talents are wasted and their lives are rendered miserable 6. The common property is looked after by none and its condition worsens for want of proper attention.

7. Due to diverse temperaments, there is always conflict between males and females and young and old. 8. As a large family has to live in limited space, there is no privacy. 9. Members tend to spend more and more due to the feeling that expenses will be scared by the whole family. This makes the economic condition of family worse. 10. Because of presence of numerous other members of family a harmonious relationship based of mutual love and affection cannot develop. 11. As the responsibility for upbringing of children is shared, there is uncontrolled reproduction. As a result of this the family economy goes down. 12. When a joint family disintegrates, the commonness of property leads to family founds and often to litigation in courts of law. http://www.agriinfo.in/default.aspx?page=topic&superid=7&topicid=596

Even in India joint family system is breaking. All women including women in India had been having one desire in heir mind that they shall be establishing a home of their own in which they had been desiring that there shall be one husband, they themselves, their children and no one more. That is the reason the family concept defined in all the government documents include these people and if the parents of the husband are allowed to be remain in this family they are not called members of the family, but they are called dependants and they are allowed to live with the family and are maintained by the family because these are social obligations and nothing more. The people may remain with one family till there are family obligations. The daughters in the family are to be married and they shall go out of this family. They shall need dowry when they are married and the marriage party is to be given a good welcome and service and therefore, all the brothers in the family must join in this venture. The old parents should not be allowed to suffer and bear all these expenses because they are already short of resources. Similar is the position when a daughter becomes widow and is thrown out of the house of her in laws. The parents and the brothers are obliged to keep this daughter with them and maintain her. Similar is the position if the son in law is not maintaining the wife and she comes back to the house of her parents. These daughters of the house are the obligations of the house from where they had gone to the houses of their in laws. These are our traditions and every house is liable to obey these traditions. There are families when they want to break, they are facing difficulties because the old parents are being left all alone and they are not having any source of income. They are having sons or son but none of them is taking them with him and maintain them. If the parents have got resources with them, here is a tradition that the sons should serve these old parents who are not able to do anything because of old age or because of some infirmity. The sons should keep such parents with them and should maintain them because there are no provisions of old age people house in this country and therefore, only the sons and daughters are obliged to keep these old people with them and they should not break the family of the parents and run away from these responsibilities because all the people around shall be passing adverse remarks against such children who leave their parents helpless. It is correct that the woman who has been brought in the house wants a separate house of her own where she should be the master and all in the family should obey her. The most troublesome game is the maintenance of the kitchen. Here in India the people prepare fresh food daily and very rarely they utilize backed food purchased from the market. Similarly they do not utilize packed food. The women do not want to take up all these responsibilities and prepare food for so many members in the family and that could be one of the reason they are breaking from the joint family. They are not tolerating the adverse remarks passed by the sisters and mothers of their husbands and that could be another reason they are breaking the joint family system. The woman cannot tolerate another woman in the house though she may be the sister of her husband or the mother of her husband. Similarly she would not be tolerating all other women who are wives of the brothers of their husbands. They want that they should be all alone in the house and even they shall desire that their daughter should go when she is young and should not remain in this house. The women of today are having a desire in their heart that they should be sent to a house where there is no mother in law and no sister in law. They also want that the parents of the husband are well settled and they shall not be dependant upon the husband. The joint family system had been breaking and this process is still continuing. We have noted that in some house the families are breaking, but they are keeping the business joint and they are running their business and are sharing the profits as agreed upon. This is the best process because people from one family could have faith in each other and they shall be running profitable business or other ventures. If we conduct a survey, we shall find that women have started liking living separately and they are not in favour of joint family system and therefore, the men should not compel them to maintain a joint family. It shall be in interest of the house to separate the son when he is married and it should be done without any further delay because such a course shall bring peace, happiness, prosperity and joy in the house. In joint family system there is no happiness and each house is turned into Kurkshetra which is not good for the house and for the children of each couple because they are not looked after properly in this crowd and they are not given proper education,

proper training and proper adjustment in life. Joint family system is a crowd and nothing more and it has lived its part and should not be continued in the present age where the parents have got so many responsibilities towards their children.

http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/202457/family/joint_family_system_is_breaking.html

Modern women value traditional ideals

Published: Sunday, May 15, 2011, 15:13 IST By Aditi Wagh | Place: Ahmedabad | Agency: DNA

Women today are independent, confident and have carved a niche for themselves in various spheres of their personal and professional lives. While we all have been under the assumption that these 'up on their feet' women prefer nuclear families and plan to go the concise way, a survey conducted by Shaadi.com, a matchmaking website, reveals a trend completely at the other spectrum of the family continuum. According to their annual survey of its members' matrimonial attitudes, the number of women preferring to live in a joint family post marriage is way more than those who prefer a nuclear family arrangement. The survey, conducted on a sample of 150,000 across India, Australia, UK, US and Canada, revealed that almost 54% of women favoured an extended family, alongside parents and siblings, while only 21% of women showed their preference for nuclear family. One can detect a growth of 14% in women opting for marriage in joint families since the last survey conducted in 2004, wherein only 40% women wanted to live in a joint family milieu. Now the big question that one may ask is -What is the reason behind this 'bolt from the blue' revelation? The survey points out that a support system is needed in today's industrialised and globalized world.Dr Rohan Kusumgar, consultant psychiatrist, said that, There are 3 main reasons why women are increasingly opting for joint families post marriage. Firstly is the need for internal security which comes only when you have people to support you in any situation. Second is the need for emotional bonding when you are faced with a problem and third is the division of responsibility and work. Pointing out the benefits of being part of an extended family, Dr Pranav Shelat, a consultant psychiatrist and sex therapist said that, Today's working women want someone to share their responsibility and workload. Everyday I meet women patients who come for counseling with their main problem being high stress levels and depression. All this can be constrained to a great extent when you have family support. In a fast paced world that is driven by estrangement and with no time for establishing relations, one needs a morale booster on returning home. Today, while a woman juggles between her professional and personal chores, all she wants at the end of the day is someone back home to help her with the household errands and share and listen to her grievances, which only comes in a joint family system! Highlighting the positive role of mother-in-law unlike the stereotypical character she is believed to play, Binal Shah, currently working in a CA firm, said, I want to have time to myself when I return home from work. So if I have a mother-in-law, she will help me with the household chores as well as take care of my kids. Also, as often is the case, if my husband and I fight in the initial phase of our marriage, she could also be a great guide and support system. Tula Santoki, an employee in the IT sector, said, The raison d'tre for my preference towards joint family system is the desire for support, support to manage house, handle kids and solve problems. Also, we are so engrossed in our work, we hardly get time to get in touch with our kin, but when you thrive in an extended family you learn to maintain close familial ties. Bringing an altogether different perspective, Dr Nehal Kumar, consultant psychiatrist, said, A few years back the trend was completely opposite, modern women opted for nuclear families. However, the changing preference now is because people have lived the ill effects of a small family set-up.

Nobody to take care of children, cost factor and increased stress in nuclear family has led to this new trend. This survey which throws light on the way matchmaking trends are evolving has a positive takeaway; the immense globalization and escalating estrangement is giving way to reestablishment of traditional values.
http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report_modern-women-value-traditional-ideals_1543417

Factors of change and process of disintegration of the joint family

With the growth of industry and the rise of cities, family life and family patterns have changed. The economic functions are largely transferred to outside agencies. Increasing emphasis is, however, placed on psychological values such as affection, companionship and emotional security. In order to measure the overall changes taking place in the family as an institution in India, we need to identify the major forces or factors that have brought about changes in the family structure. A host of inter-related factors, economic, educational, legal, demographic, have affected the family in India. All these factors had a cumulative effect on different aspects of family living. The present is a period of transaction. The family withstood the sweeping changes in the cultural pattern and found ways to adjust to each new situation-. It will continue to survive, whatever further changes the future may bring. Factors of change and process of disintegration of the joint family Generally the factors leading to changes in the family are discussed in the context of the issue of disintegration of the joint family. In addition to this here it has been discussed in the context of social changes occurring since the British rule in India. (a) Economic factors: Introduction of cash transactions, diversification of occupational opportunities, technological advancements are some of the major economic factors which have affected the joint family system in India. British opened opportunities for employment in government service, due to this people often left their traditional occupations and moved to cities or towns where these occupations were available. Married ones often took their wives and children, and sometime relatives along with them. Role relationships in the family also affected where both men and women work. (b) Educational Factors: During British rule, opportunities for higher education emerged in a significant way. All castes and communities have access to education that got educationally developed. Individualistic, liberal and humanitarian ideas began to question some of the Hindu customs and practices relating to child marriage, denial of right of education to women, denial of property to women, ill treatment of widows. Educated young men not only desired to postpone their marriage, but wanted to marry an educated girl. It is expected that educated girls have different kind of influence on family. (c) Legal factors: Indian Workmen Compensation Act, 1923 and the Minimum Wages Act, 1948, helped to reduce the economic reliance of members on the joint family for economic support.

In 1930 Hindu Gain of Learning Act declared that the property acquired by a Hindu out of his education is his personal property though his education was paid by joint family in 1937, by a law woman acquires a limited right to her husband's property. Hindu succession Act, 1956 gave a daughter and son equal rights to the father's property. This legislation challenged the inheritance patterns that prevailed in joint families. (d) Urbanisation: There have been many studies which shows that migration to cities has contributed to the rapid disintegration of large size family unit in village and town. Observation based on family data show a high percentage of nuclear family in cities. With problem of finding accommodation and limited space available for living in cities, it become difficult for an average urbanite to maintain and support a large family. Factors of change leading to Reinforcement of the joint family Sociologists, while trying to measure the changes taking place in family life observes that urbanization and industrialization have, in fact served to strengthen some aspect of joint family. 1. K.M. Kapadia (1972). Families which have migrated to cities still retain their bonds to joint family in village and town. This is evident from the physical presence of relatives at a time of events like birth, marriage, death, illness. Sometimes members of the families living in cities go to the village for these events. The joint family ethic is very much evident in the performance of certain role obligations. A family in the city has the duty to give shelter to all immigrants from the rural family, (Young men in pursuit of education or work, or relatives seeking medical treatment). So it can happen that in the course of time, a kind of joint family formed in the city is linked to the family in the village by close family ties, by a system of mutual rights and obligation and also by the undivided family property. 2. Thesis that joint family is dysfunctional to the process of industrialisation has been challenged by those who point out that some of the successful industrial establishments in the country are managed by the individuals who strictly live by joint family rules. In his study "Indian Joint Family in Modern Industry," Milton Singer (1968) points out that the joint families continue to be the norm among industrial entrepreneurs, despite changes in their material conditions of living. 3. Pauline Kolenda, in her study Regional Differences in Family Structure in India 1987 observes that industrialisation serves to strengthen the joint family because an economic base has been provided to support it because more hands are needed in a renewed family enterprise or because kin can help one another in the striving for upward mobility.

http://www.preservearticles.com/2012031226865/factors-of-change-and-process-ofdisintegration-of-the-joint-family.html

Parenting in Joint Families

Is a joint family a happy family? Commercial Hindi cinema has painted a saccharine sweet picture of families in the mind of the public. The audience is familiar with images of benevolent parents, brothers and sisters and their spouses that display cloying affection towards each other and who are willing to sacrifice their happiness for the sake

of the family. Even if there is a black sheep in the fold, at the end of three hours he has realized the error of his ways and all is forgiven. But one only has to read the papers to shatter this illusion. Dowry deaths, property disputes, domestic violence, sexual and mental abuse - While this would be an extreme view, as these are family problems, not necessarily joint family problems, the fact is that the joint family is definitely not all joy and laughter. It would be unrealistic to expect it to be so. According to Dr. Sushma Mehrotra, "Not every family is a happy family. What is most important is the atmosphere in a joint family. If there is a congenial atmosphere in a joint family, it can be a virtue. However, if there is tension and conflict between the members of a joint family and if they are constantly playing games and trying to score over each other, all the advantages of a joint family are lost." Rohit Roy's experience is a case in point. He says, "Growing up in a joint family was definitely not a pleasant experience for me. My father's elder brother controlled the finances and my father had to ask his permission before he could buy anything. My aunt completely dominated my mother and treated her like a servant. She would tell my uncle that she was buying toys for my sister and me and then send the toys to her relatives."

Sharing and caring? Dr. Mehrotra feels that if there are several children in the joint family, there is a tendency for parents to make comparisons. Also, if one child is given something and the other isn't, it could lead to the development of unhealthy competition and feelings of envy. Most 'unhealthy' children come from joint families because they live together out of compulsion and not out of choice. Dr. Mehrotra has found that in spite of living in a joint family, children don't know how to share. "It is always assumed that children from joint families are more likely to share their things as they interact on a daily basis with so many people. However, if the family atmosphere is hostile, it can have an adverse affect on children. Especially in families where there is a lack of transparency, where many things are left unsaid, and where there is a lack of free expression."

Who's the boss? Another problem is that there are too many authority figures in joint families. Sometimes, grandparents undermine the mother's authority because they feel that they have more experience in raising children. They pass adverse remarks to the mother in front of the children like, "You don't know how to handle children" - As a result, the mother feels suppressed, depressed and frustrated. She, in turn, takes her frustration out on her children, which affects the overall development of the child. In Dr. Mehrotra's opinion, "Children become very manipulative. They become the master players of the game. They learn how to get exactly what they want by playing the elders off against each other." What is most important is that there should be agreement between the authority figures on disciplining the child. For instance, even if the grandparents do not agree with the mother on certain issues, they should not discuss these things in front of the children. Very often, grandparents pull up a mother for reprimanding her child. What they should do is back her up so that the child is aware that he has done something wrong. Otherwise, the child will always be in the right according to someone's standards. They should sort out their differences in the absence of the child. Generation gap is another important factor to be taken into consideration. The needs and expectations of the younger generation are constantly changing. The fact remains that there are no standards and rules written in stone as far as parenting is concerned. Now, in joint families, members of the older generation, tend to lay down the law in an autocratic fashion. The authority figures need to operate in a democratic

fashion and make an attempt to bridge the generation gap. They must try to update their knowledge about the lifestyle of the younger generation and not constantly pass judgement on their activities. They must realize that times change and the way things were done in their time may not work any more. Everything cannot be seen in black and white. If they insist on being rigid, they will just distance themselves from their children and grandchildren. There will be a breakdown in communication and the elders will find that they are slowly becoming marginalized in the family. There should be respect and concern for each other's feelings rather than a constant battle for supremacy and authority.

There are benefits A harmonious joint family set-up can be a boon. It can provide a wonderful support system emotionally and financially. In the ideal sense, one can share both one's triumphs and failures. The joint family is ideal for the woman who wants to work as well as have a family. Working women have someone to leave their children with when they are away at work, rather than leaving their children in a creche or with servants. They can be assured that their children are being looked after by people who care for them almost as much as they do themselves. After all, as they say, "blood is thicker than water." Mrs. Usha Mehta highlighted a few of the benefits of a joint family. She said, "While we had our share of fights and arguments, I did find that being part of a joint family had its advantages. There were people with whom you could share family responsibilities and social duties. My sister-in-law and I take turns cooking, dropping the children to school and baby-sitting. Despite our differences, there is a bond that grows from sharing common family experiences. Also, my children did not have to go out of the home to seek companionship. They always had their cousins to play with." Everyone knows how difficult family relations are in general. Nuclear families sometimes find it hard to maintain cordial relations. One would probably think that in joint families with so many people and so many vested interests, maintaining family harmony must be an uphill task. Dr. Mehrotra feels that as far as problems are concerned she would definitely not say that there are more problems in joint families and less in nuclear families. Some people have difficulty dealing with other people and such people will face problems wherever they go. For a joint family system to work, the members will have to learn to adjust, to overcome their petty jealousies, to develop mutual respect between the generations, and to learn to give each other space http://www.indiaparenting.com/raising-children/129_256/parenting-in-joint-families.html

Family Ideals

In India, people learn the essential themes of cultural life within the bosom of a family. In most of the country, the basic units of society are the patrilineal family unit and wider kinship groupings. The most widely desired residential unit is the joint family, ideally consisting of three or four patrilineally related generations, all living under one roof, working, eating, worshiping, and cooperating together in mutually beneficial social and economic activities. Patrilineal joint families include men related through the male line, along with their wives and children. Most young women expect to live with their husband's relatives after marriage, but they retain important bonds with their natal families.

Despite the continuous and growing impact of urbanization, secularization, and Westernization, the traditional joint household, both in ideal and in practice, remains the primary social force in the lives of most Indians. Loyalty to family is a deeply held ideal for almost everyone. Large families tend to be flexible and well-suited to modern Indian life, especially for the 67 percent of Indians who are farmers or agricultural workers or work in related activities (see Size and Composition of the Workforce, ch. 6). As in most primarily agricultural societies, few individuals can hope to achieve economic security without being part of a cooperating group of kinsmen. The joint family is also common in cities, where kinship ties can be crucial to obtaining scarce jobs or financial assistance. Numerous prominent Indian families, such as the Tatas, Birlas, and Sarabhais, retain joint family arrangements even as they work together to control some of the country's largest financial empires. The joint family is an ancient Indian institution, but it has undergone some change in the late twentieth century. Although several generations living together is the ideal, actual living arrangements vary widely depending on region, social status, and economic circumstance. Many Indians live in joint families that deviate in various ways from the ideal, and many live in nuclear families--a couple with their unmarried children--as is the most common pattern in the West. However, even where the ideal joint family is seldom found (as, for example, in certain regions and among impoverished agricultural laborers and urban squatters), there are often strong networks of kinship ties through which economic assistance and other benefits are obtained. Not infrequently, clusters of relatives live very near each other, easily available to respond to the give and take of kinship obligations. Even when relatives cannot actually live in close proximity, they typically maintain strong bonds of kinship and attempt to provide each other with economic help, emotional support, and other benefits. As joint families grow ever larger, they inevitably divide into smaller units, passing through a predictable cycle over time. The breakup of a joint family into smaller units does not necessarily represent the rejection of the joint family ideal. Rather, it is usually a response to a variety of conditions, including the need for some members to move from village to city, or from one city to another to take advantage of employment opportunities. Splitting of the family is often blamed on quarrelling women--typically, the wives of coresident brothers. Although women's disputes may, in fact, lead to family division, men's disagreements do so as well. Despite cultural ideals of brotherly harmony, adult brothers frequently quarrel over land and other matters, leading them to decide to live under separate roofs and divide their property. Frequently, a large joint family divides after the demise of elderly parents, when there

is no longer a single authority figure to hold the family factions together. After division, each new residential unit, in its turn, usually becomes joint when sons of the family marry and bring their wives to live in the family home.
Variations in Family Structure

Some family types bear special mention because of their unique qualities. In the subHimalayan region of Uttar Pradesh, polygyny is commonly practiced. There, among Hindus, a simple polygynous family is composed of a man, his two wives, and their unmarried children. Various other family types occur there, including the supplemented subpolygynous household--a woman whose husband lives elsewhere (perhaps with his other wife), her children, plus other adult relatives. Polygyny is also practiced in other parts of India by a tiny minority of the population, especially in families in which the first wife has not been able to bear children. Among the Buddhist people of the mountainous Ladakh District of Jammu and Kashmir, who have cultural ties to Tibet, fraternal polyandry is practiced, and a household may include a set of brothers with their common wife or wives. This family type, in which brothers also share land, is almost certainly linked to the extreme scarcity of cultivable land in the Himalayan region, because it discourages fragmentation of holdings. The peoples of the northeastern hill areas are known for their matriliny, tracing descent and inheritance in the female line rather than the male line. One of the largest of these groups, the Khasis--an ethnic or tribal people in the state of Meghalaya--are divided into matrilineal clans; the youngest daughter receives almost all of the inheritance including the house. A Khasi husband goes to live in his wife's house. Khasis, many of whom have become Christian, have the highest literacy rate in India, and Khasi women maintain notable authority in the family and community. Perhaps the best known of India's unusual family types is the traditional Nayar taravad , or great house. The Nayars are a cluster of castes in Kerala. Highranking and prosperous, the Nayars maintained matrilineal households in which sisters and brothers and their children were the permanent residents. After an official prepuberty marriage, each woman received a series of visiting husbands in her room in the taravad at night. Her children were all legitimate members of the taravad . Property, matrilineally inherited, was managed by the eldest brother of the senior woman. This system, the focus of much anthropological interest, has been disintegrating in the twentieth century, and in the 1990s probably fewer than 5 percent of the Nayars live in matrilinealtaravads . Like the Khasis, Nayar women are known for being well-educated and powerful within the family.

Malabar rite Christians, an ancient community in Kerala, adopted many practices of their powerful Nayar neighbors, including naming their sons for matrilineal forebears. Their kinship system, however, is patrilineal. Kerala Christians have a very high literacy rate, as do most Indian Christian groups.
Large Kinship Groups

In most of Hindu India, people belong not only to coresident family groups but to larger aggregates of kin as well. Subsuming the family is the patrilineage (known in northern and central India as the khandan , kutumb , or kul ), a locally based set of males who trace their ancestry to a common progenitor a few generations back, plus their wives and unmarried daughters. Larger than the patrilineage is the clan, commonly known as the gotra or got , a much larger group of patrilineally related males and their wives and daughters, who often trace common ancestry to a mythological figure. In some regions, particularly among the high-ranking Rajputs of western India, clans are hierarchically ordered. Some people also claim membership in larger, more amorphous groupings known as vansh and sakha . Hindu lineages and clans are strictly exogamous--that is, a person may not marry or have a sexual alliance with a member of his own lineage or clan; such an arrangement would be considered incestuous. In North India, rules further prohibit marriage between a person and his mother's lineage members as well. Among some highranking castes of the north, exogamy is also extended to the mother's, father's mother's, and mother's mother's clans. In contrast, in South India, marriage to a member of the mother's kin group is often encouraged. Muslims also recognize kinship groupings larger than the family. These include the khandan , or patrilineage, and the azizdar , or kindred. The azizdar group differs slightly for each individual and includes all relatives linked to a person by blood or marriage. Muslims throughout India encourage marriage within the lineage and kindred, and marriages between the children of siblings are common. Within a village or urban neighborhood, members of a lineage recognize their kinship in a variety of ways. Mutual assistance in daily work, in emergencies, and in factional struggles is expected. For Hindus, cooperation in specific annual rituals helps define the kin group. For example, in many areas, at the worship of the goddess deemed responsible for the welfare of the lineage, patrilineally related males and their wives join in the rites and consume specially consecrated fried breads or other foods. Unmarried daughters of the lineage are only spectators at the rites and do not share in the special foods. Upon marriage, a woman becomes a member of her husband's lineage and then participates regularly in the worship of her husband's lineage goddess. Lineage bonds are also evident at life-cycle observances, when kin join

together in celebrating births, marriages, and religious initiations. Upon the death of a lineage member, other lineage members observe ritual death pollution rules for a prescribed number of days and carry out appropriate funeral rites and feasts. For some castes, especially in the north, careful records of lineage ties are kept by a professional genealogist, a member of a caste whose traditional task is maintaining genealogical tomes. These itinerant bards make their rounds from village to village over the course of a year or more, recording births, deaths, and glorious accomplishments of the patrilineal descent group. These genealogical services have been especially crucial among Rajputs, Jats, and similar groups whose lineages own land and where power can depend on fine calculations of pedigree and inheritance rights. Some important kinship linkages are not traced through men but through women. These linkages involve those related to an individual by blood and marriage through a mother, married sisters, or married daughters, and for a man, through his wife. Anthropologist David Mandelbaum has termed these "feminal kin." Key relationships are those between a brother and sister, parents and daughters, and a person and his or her mother's brother. Through bonds with these close kin, a person has links with several households and lineages in many settlements. Throughout most of India, there are continuous visits--some of which may last for months and include the exchange of gifts at visits, life-cycle rites, and holidays, and many other key interactions between such relatives. These relationships are often characterized by deep affection and willingly offered support. These ties cut across the countryside, linking each person with kin in villages and towns near and far. Almost everywhere a villager goes--especially in the north, where marriage networks cover wide distances--he can find some kind of relative. Moral support, a place to stay, economic assistance, and political backing are all available through these kinship networks. The multitude of kinship ties is further extended through the device of fictive kinship. Residents of a single village usually use kinship terms for one another, and especially strong ties of fictive kinship can be ceremonially created with fellow religious initiates or fellow pilgrims of one's village or neighborhood. In the villages and cities of the north, on the festival of Raksha Bandhan (the Tying of the Protective Thread, during which sisters tie sacred threads on their brothers' wrists to symbolize the continuing bond between them), a female may tie a thread on the wrist of an otherwise unrelated male and "make him her brother." Fictive kinship bonds cut across caste and class lines and involve obligations of hospitality, gift-giving, and variable levels of cooperation and assistance.

Neighbors and friends may also create fictive kinship ties by informal agreement. Actually, any strong friendship between otherwise unrelated people is typically imbued with kinship-like qualities. In such friendships, kinship terms are adopted for address, and the give and take of kinship may develop. Such bonds commonly evolve between neighbors in urban apartment buildings, between special friends at school, and between close associates at work. The use of kinship terms enhances affection in the relationship. In Gujarat, personal names usually include the word for "sister" and "brother," so that the use of someone's personal name automatically sounds affectionate and caring.
Family Authority and Harmony

In the Indian household, lines of hierarchy and authority are clearly drawn, shaping structurally and psychologically complex family relationships. Ideals of conduct are aimed at creating and maintaining family harmony. All family members are socialized to accept the authority of those ranked above them in the hierarchy. In general, elders rank above juniors, and among people of similar age, males outrank females. Daughters of a family command the formal respect of their brothers' wives, and the mother of a household is in charge of her daughters-inlaw. Among adults in a joint family, a newly arrived daughter-in-law has the least authority. Males learn to command others within the household but expect to accept the direction of senior males. Ideally, even a mature adult man living in his father's household acknowledges his father's authority on both minor and major matters. Women are especially strongly socialized to accept a position subservient to males, to control their sexual impulses, and to subordinate their personal preferences to the needs of the family and kin group. Reciprocally, those in authority accept responsibility for meeting the needs of others in the family group. There is tremendous emphasis on the unity of the family grouping, especially as differentiated from persons outside the kinship circle. Internally, efforts are made to deemphasize ties between spouses and between parents and their own children in order to enhance a wider sense of harmony within the entire household. Husbands and wives are discouraged from openly displaying affection for one another, and in strictly traditional households, they may not even properly speak to one another in the presence of anyone else, even their own children. Young parents are inhibited by "shame" from ostentatiously dandling their own young children but are encouraged to play with the children of siblings. Psychologically, family members feel an intense emotional interdependence with each other and the family as an almost organic unit. Ego boundaries are permeable to others in the family, and any notion of a separate self is often dominated by a sense of

what psychoanalyst Alan Roland has termed a more inclusive "familial self." Interpersonal empathy, closeness, loyalty, and interdependency are all crucial to life within the family. Family resources, particularly land or businesses, have traditionally been controlled by family males, especially in high-status groups. Customarily, according to traditional schools of Hindu law, women did not inherit land or buildings and were thus beholden to their male kin who controlled these vital resources. Under Muslim customary law, women are entitled to inherit real estate and often do so, but their shares have typically been smaller than those of similarly situated males. Under modern law, all Indian women can inherit land.
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Modernisation and Status of Working Women in India: A Socio- Economic Study ... google book

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; msotstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-paramargin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansilanguage:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Melodramatic TV serials and commercial Hindi movies have painted an unrealistic picture of the joint family. We are quite familiar with images of saccharine sweet love and affection between family members who are ready to sacrifice everything for the good of the family. Along side are seen over dramatic images of domestic issues like dowry related issues, property disputes, bitter rivalry between family members, sexual and mental abuse, where the wicked characters are unbelievably cruel! It seems that reality is put on the back burner. The whole purpose of these serials, in particular, is to sensationalize every incident to such an extent that they bear little semblance to reality. However, it provides fodder to the masses who are hooked on, and big bucks for the producers who know that this is what the public will lap up! Generally, joint families are not as extreme as they are portrayed. As with everything, there are advantages and disadvantages. The reality is that, growing up in a joint family may not be a pleasant experience for some and for others, it may be quite rewarding having the support of kith and kin. High handedness and excessive interference on the part of elders can be very annoying. There are many women in joint families who lament the fact that their in-laws are very demanding and treat them like servants. In such a scenario, it is very difficult for these women to nurture and bring up their children in the way that they seem fit. On the other hand there are others who find their in-laws to be supportive in every way. They feel that a close knit joint family is more nurturing than a nuclear family and would not like to live any other way. Sharing and Caring Ideally, there should be very sharing and caring in a joint family because these are people who have blood ties. However, it is often seen that in joint families there is a tendency to make comparisons amongst the various children in the family. This gives rise to jealousy, envy and also complexes amongst children. If there is a hostile atmosphere in a joint family, it can have an adverse, life long, impact on the children. Children drawn into the families politics end up showing disrespect to the relatives who are not on good terms with their parents, and also develop hostility towards their cousins. Later in life, these children find difficulty in interacting with others because respect for others was not imbibed by them. Where the join family is cohesive and has the right value system, all members of the family, including the children, flourish because of the cordial atmosphere within the household. The joint family is a source of strength and support for each member. There is respect for the elders and for one another. The kinship amongst children is strong. These children grow

up to be well rounded human beings. The value system that they have imbibed will stand them in good stead through out their lives. A Few Pointers to Observe. Joint families can only work if the eldest male is the undisputed boss and his word is respected by all. For any group to function there has to be an undisputed head who has the respect and mandate to run the family affairs. In the absence of such a person, there can be a lot of friction and struggle for power that will vitiate the atmosphere and the family will eventually fragment. The dynamics of a joint family are totally different to those of a nuclear family where decisions are made between the husband and wife with no interference from a third party. There is often a power struggle amongst family member of a joint family when the head of the family is a mild person. Elders can be overbearing and force their will upon others. Often the junior members have no voice and they have to follow the dictates of the seniors .This leaves them simmering with resentment. Many members find it depressing and demeaning to be ordered around? Adverse remarks in front of the children can be very frustrating and this frustration is ultimately vented out on the children, which affects their overall development. When children see this happening in their family on a regular basis, they become very manipulative and learn how to get exactly what they want by instigating the elders against each other. This is the worst possible environment children. Each set of parents should be allowed to handle their own children without any interference from any quarter. Elders should always sort out their differences in the childrens absence. Children should never be drawn into any conflict within family members. Another important aspect that has to be taken into consideration is the generation gap. Owing to constant changes in the needs and expectations of the younger generation, parents have a tough time raising their children. There is no hard and fast rule as far as parenting is concerned; ensure that your children are not overburdened with domestic regulations and autocratic views of the older generation. Elders should operate in a democratic fashion and try their best to bridge the generation gap by adapting to the changing times. They must get used to the lifestyle of the younger generation and avoid passing unnecessary judgments on their activities. Benefits of a Joint Family A harmonious joint family system can be a blessing. It can offer a wonderful support system financially and emotionally since members can share their triumphs as well as failures. Respect for the other member is paramount. There has to be a lot of understanding between members for harmony to be maintained. If there are internal politics at play, then the peace of the household will be lost and living within the confines of a joint family will be very difficult. There are advantages and disadvantages with this system as with all other systems. It must be kept in mind that no system is perfect and no one is perfect. Members have to work within the parameters of the system to maintain harmony and cordiality. It is also advantageous for women who want to have a career and a family as well. They can leave their children in the safe hands of family members when they are away for work. In spite of occasional tiffs, members of a joint family do share family responsibilities and social duties amongst themselves. There will be differences, but a bond does develop from sharing common family experiences. In many families there is no differentiation made by parents between their own kids and their nephew and nieces. In this environment the siblings and cousins have a close life long bond. Conclusion Elders in a joint family must understand that times are changing and that the dynamics of a joint family must also evolve accordingly. If the elders are rigid and autocratic in their ways they will end up alienating themselves from the younger members of the family. Irrespective of age gap, the members of the family should have respect and concern for each other's feelings. Summary: Everything depends on the atmosphere or ambience in a joint family. It can be a heaven if the atmosphere is congenial, but it can turn into hell if there is tension and conflict among the members. The advantages of a joint family are lost if members are constantly playing games and trying to outscore each other. For a joint family system to click, the members should learn to adjust, rise above their trivial jealousies, develop mutual respect, and provide each other space. Such a family can grow and thrive together!

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The Joint Family System in India

The nuclear family household is not native to India. In Indian society, families are traditionally organized
like small, tight-knit interdependent communities under the direction of a senior family member. CompositionandHeadof the Household A joint family in India most often consists of a set of grandparents, their male children, their childrens spouses, and their childrens children. In other words, three generations of one family living under the same roof. (Adult women marry into and join their husbands' families.) The head of the household is generally the senior male family member and is respected for his wisdom, experience, and position. The head of the household often establishes the households rules, controls the familys finances, and serves as the arbiter in case of family AdvantagesandDisadvantagesof Joint Families One of the defining characteristics of the joint family is its communal nature. Household tasks like cooking, cleaning, caring for the children, and performing household maintenance are organized in a communal manner. The family members complete the tasks on a rotating basis, or else individual family members become responsible for specific tasks. Today, the joint family system may enable some women to more easily work outside the home, as the children and the domestic tasks are left in the care of other female family members. At the same time, some adults living in a joint family system resent not having full control of their lives, as the head of the household often makes decisions for the entire family group. Due to the joint familys communal tendencies, the family normally enjoys an extended support system. Parents are able to count on the support of other family members when raising their children. Children grow up in close contact with their aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. On the other hand, some Indian parents resent not having a free hand to raise and discipline their children as they wish and without the input of others. The Joint Familyin India Today Traditionally, all Indian families lived in joint family households, but today, the joint family system is clearly on the decline. Most likely the result of many Indians moving from rural areas to the cities for work opportunities as well as greater Western influence, the nuclear family household consisting only of a couple and their children has quickly become the norm. Some voices in India call for a return to the joint family system while others see the move toward the nuclear family household as a step forward. Familyin India In India, the joint family system provides family members with a tight-knit community and an extended support network. Currently, some Indians prefer the sense of the community and organizational structure of the joint family system while others prefer the autonomy of the nuclear family structure. Sources:

Kolanad, Gitanjali. Culture Shock! A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette in India . New York: Marshall Cavendish, 2008. Jha, Meenakshi. In Defence of Joint Family System. Boloji.com (accessed August 6, 2010). Shenoy, Dinayak. A Comparative Essay on Joint Family vs. Nuclear Family System. Rajput Brotherhood (accessed August 6, 2010).

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Essay on the Causes of Changes in Joint Family System The traditional joint system of India has undergone vast changes. These changes have not destroyed the system as such. They have definitely affected its structure and functions and also its stability. Milton Singer [1968] has identified five factors which have affected the family most. These are: education, industrialisation, urbanisation, change in the institution of marriage, especially in the age of marriage and the legislative measures. 1. Influence of Education: Modern system of education introduced by the British Government affected joint family in several ways. It has brought about a change in the attitudes, beliefs, values and ideologies of the people. Education which is spreading even amongst the females has created and aroused the individualistic feelings. While the male literacy level has increased from 9.8% in 1901 to 55.7% in 1991, among the females it has increased from 0.6% to 30.09% during the same period. The increasing education not only brings changes in the philosophy of life of men and women, but also provides new avenues of employment to the latter. After becoming economically independent, women demand more freedom in family affairs. They refuse to accept anybodys dominance over them. Education in this way brings changes in relations in the family. As the level of education rises, the percentage of those in favour of nuclear families increases and the percentage of those supporting joint family living, decreases. 2. Impact of Industrialisation: Factory system of production, new system of organisation and management and new style of life has also affected the joint family. It has made young men and women leave their joint family to faraway places in search of better prospects and employment. It has resulted in the breakdown of the link between the kinship and the occupational structure. Many of the traditional skills, crafts and household industries associated with the joint family have declined because of the onslaught of factory system of production. Some important effects of industrialisation on joint family system may be noted here.

(i) The family which was a principal unit of production has been transformed into a consumption unit. Instead of all family members working together in an integrated economic enterprise, a few male members go out of the home to earn the familys living. This affected family relations. (ii) Factory employment has freed young adults from direct dependence upon their families. This financial independence of the youngsters has weakened the authority of the head of the household over those earning members. In many cities even women too joined men in working outside the families on salary basis. (iii) In the changed social situation children have ceased to be economic assets and have become liabilities. Childrens educational requirements have increased. They are to be supported for a very long time till they get into some good job. (iv) Industrialisation separated the home from the work. This has made the working members to bear themselves all the burden and headache connected with their job. Their families can hardly lend support in this regard. 3. Influence of Urbanisation: The phenomenon of urbanisation has become now widespread. Urban population is increasing steadily. In the mideighteenth century, around 10% of the population in India were urban residents. Their percentage increased to 36.19% in 1991. The studies made by Aileen Ross, M.S. Gore, Milton Singer and others have revealed that the city life is more favourable to small nuclear families than to big joint families. On the basis of the studies made, it could be said that the urban living weakens joint family pattern and strengthens nuclear family patterns. Educated persons in urban areas are less in favour of joint family norms. Cities provide opportunities to women also for gainful employment and when woman starts earning, she seeks freedom in many spheres. She tries to break away more and more from her husbands family of orientation. Urban residence thus seems to introduce a certain measure of variation in family pattern in our society. 4. Change in Marriage System: Change in the age at marriage, freedom in mate-selection and change in the attitude towards marriage have also affected our family system. Modern young men and women not only marry at a late age but also take personal decision in this matter. They do not wait for parental permission. Parents role in mate-selection has diminished. Marriage is not very much considered a religious affair but only a social ceremony. Modern marriage does not symbolise the superior authority of the family head over other members. 5. Legislative Measures: The impact of legislative measures on the family system cannot be ignored. Prohibition of early marriages and fixing the minimum age of marriage by the Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1929 and the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, have lengthened the period of education. The freedom of mate- selection and marriage in any caste and religion without the parents consent after certain age permitted through by the Special Marriage Act, 1954, gave a blow to the parental authority to decide their childrens marriage. Other legislations such as the Widow Remarriage Act, 1856 which gives sanction for widow remarriage, the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 which permits divorce and the Hindu Succession Act, 1956 which gives share to daughters in parental property all have modified interpersonal relations within the family, the composition of the family and the stability of the joint family.

6. Other Causes: i. Influence of Western Values: The western values relating to modern science, rationalism, individualism, equality, free life, democracy, freedom of women etc. have exerted a tremendous influence on the Hindu family system. The modern educated youths who came under the influence of these values took the earliest opportunity to become free from the tight grip of the joint family. ii. Awareness among Women: Increasing female education, widened freedom and employment opportunities for women created awareness among women particularly in the middle and upper class. They also sought chances of becoming free from the authoritarian hold of the joint family.

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