Division 3
ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES  Students will revise and edit other letters
ENGLISH LANGUAGE ARTS 9
SPECIFIC OUTCOMES
The student will be able to:
C1 3.3 access and operate multimedia
applications and technologies from
stand-alone and online sources
3.4 access and retrieve information
through the electronic network
P1 3.3 revise text documents based on
feedback from others
3.4 use appropriate communication
technology to elicit feedback from
others
RELATED CURRICULUM OUTCOMES
English Language Arts, Grade 9
3.1 Plan and focus
 all bullets
3.3 Organize, record and evaluate
 Record information bullet 2
4.1 Enhance and improve
 Appraise own and other’s work bullet 1
 Revise and edit bullets 1 and 2
4.3 Present and Share
 Use effective oral and visual communication
bullet 1
STUDENT TASK
Background
In our technological society, we are always looking
for ways to maintain physical activity and healthy
lifestyles into our own way of living. It is important
that each individual take this into consideration
within their own context.
Task
Students will identify an aspect of their school lives
that can be improved with regard to health and
wellness. Students will include the following
activities.
 Research the issue that they have identified
and find possible solutions
 Identify one solution that they think is
feasible and write a letter to someone with
the authority to help them out (teacher,
principal, superintendent, etc.)
using an online collaborative website (such
as Google Docs, Revizr, etc.). They will look
for spelling, grammar, clarity and
progression of thought. They will also
make any other suggestions of how to
improve the letter.
 Students will then have an opportunity to
revise their own letter.
Scoring guide
The student :
4 - clearly identifies and issue and solution
with references to support their
opinion and ideas are presented in a
logical progression.
- identifies their audience and writes in a
style that is directed to them.
- does a thorough job of editing another
letter and gives meaningful feedback
on another person’s writing
3 - identifies issue and solution with some
supporting reference, ideas are
presents in a mostly logical progression
- audience is identified, but writing is not
always directed to them
- does a fair job of editing another letter,
including some feedback
2 - loosely identifies problem although
solution may or may not make the
situation better. Opinions are not
backed up by references and there is
no obvious logical progression of ideas.
- does a mediocre job of editing another
letter, missing obvious errors and
leaves non-meaningful feedback
1 - mentions an issue and solution with
little or no support
- fails to identify the audience and
address them accordingly
- does a poor job of editing, missing
most errors and leaves no non-trivial
feedback
Division 3

Activation Matrix for Revizr

Salient Features
Enables students to show
revisions on computer
Document can be shared
Allows a user to flip back and
forth between original and
edited version.
Learning / Understanding
Allows students to compare
what they did to what they
should have done, thus tying
lessons to previous learning
Students benefit from reading
other’s writing and can better
determine what is most effective
for a particular type of writing
Allows the writer to compare
two methods of writing and
choose the one they think is
most appropriate
Why Technology?
Students do not have to worry
about not enough room to edit,
also the person editing can
delete a suggestion if they think
it is not appropriate.
Documents are not lost by other
students (cyberspace, maybe ,
but not students), this also helps
students to develop
asynchronous communication
skills with technology
This technology allows you to
revert all changes with a click of
a mouse, making it easy to see
what was changed and how to
change something back.

Rationale: This activity gives students the opportunity to create, edit and revise in an online
environment. Ideally this activity could be accomplished with 2 classes in different countries and they
could edit each other’s work. This activity would also work with 2 classes in Canada, or, if necessary,
one class where each student is assigned the task of editing another student’s work. Regardless of the
class setup, this activity encourages students to write in a logical manner, edit/review other’s works,
comment on those works, then revise their own. This is a regular part of the writing process.