SELF MANAGEMENT

Chapter 1

Meaning:
“Self management means to manage your self and mind so that you can
take right decision on right time.”

Self management must begin from within as we strive to develop a good

character and personality. We must work steadily towards our desire for self
growth and we would in due course obtain a fulfilling and rewarding life and
strength our innate abilities. We must make a serious and honest assessment of
ourselves – the way we think and the way we conduct our lives. We all have
shortcomings and failures and it is up to us to improve ourselves, but we have
to begin from within us. We may not realize what a setback we have been in
our own lives until it is late. Oh, how we wish that we could undo much of the
foolish things we have done. Well, we cannot change the past, but we can
change have some measure of control over the present and insist on self
management to shape future.

Self management is initiated by you for you. When you make an effort to
improve your health, manage your weight, enhance your appearance, upgrade
your standard of education and such like, tat is self management.

Remember that to be successful you have to make an effort to achieve self

management. you can never walk to another place if you keep standing in the
same place all the time, you have to put one foot forward then the other, and
keep up that pattern until you reach yore destination or you soon will not be
able to stand at all and, obviously, will get nowhere. Your self management is
your means of transport for your journey to a happy and rewarding life.

To attain personal improvement whether physically, mentally, monetarily,

spiritually or socially you must equip yourself with the necessary skill or

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knowledge to bring about what you wish to achieve in order to enhance our
lifestyle. Music can uplift your spirits tremendously by giving you a delightful
feeling of tranquility and peace of mind. if you do not intend to improve
yourself, do not expect any great measure of success in life. The way you think
or act, the choices you make, all affect you personally. Whatever you do to
bring pleasure to your life involves you, and any measure of success begins
with your personal improvement. all achievers are well aware of this fact.

Self management helps you to:-

• Increase Your Motivation
• Save Time
• Improve Your Grades
• Strengthen Your Relationships
• Communicate More Effectively
• Raise Your Self-confidence
• Increase Positive Feelings, Behaviors, and Thoughts

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Chapter 2

The components of self management

The components of self management are as follows:-

1. Self concept
2. Self recognition
3. Self definition
4. Self regulation
5. Self awareness
6. Self control
7. Self esteem
8. Self monitoring
9. Self efficacy

• Self concept:

Self concept is the overall image we have of ourselves. The self concept
provides us with our personal identify or sense of who we are. The self
concept is our sense of self. Our self concept then helps us to understand
ourselves and also to control or regulate our behavior.

• Self recognition:-

Person’s ability to recognize their own physical image is self

recognition. The gradual realization that we are beings separate from
other people on ourselves and actions.

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• Self definition:-

External and psychological characteristics by which a person describes

himself or herself. It helps to identifying the inner and outer characteristics
we consider significant in describing ourselves.

• Self regulation:-

Person’s independent control of behaviour to conform to understood

social expectations. Persons begin to regulate and control themselves
from childhood itself.

• Self awareness:-

Realization, beginning in infancy, of separateness from other people and

things, allowing reflection on one’s own action in relation to social
standards.

• Self control:-

Person’s ability to alter or delay an action when the caregiver is not

present , on the basis of knowing what behavior is socially acceptable.

• Self esteem:-

Person’s self image is self esteem. It refers to an individual’s attitude

about himself or herself involving self evaluation along a positive-
negative dimension. It is also defined as an individual degree of liking or
disliking of themselves.

• Self monitoring:-

It is defined as the personality trait that measures an individual ability to

adjust his or her behaviour to external situation factors. High self
monitors are more likely to be successful in management position in
which individuals are required to play multiple and even contradicting
roles.

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 • Self efficacy:-

It refers to an individual’s belief that he or she is capable of performing

a task. The higher your self efficacy score the more confidence you have in
your ability to succeed in a given task.

The above given concept will help you to understand your self more
clearly.

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Chapter 3
Self management helps you to develop your self through:

• Self-skill
• Goal Setting - Planning and Achieving Personal Ambitions
• Planning Skills - How to Plan Complex Tasks
• Self-Growth
• Personal Skill Development
• Overview of Decision Making
• Time and Schedule Management
• Problem Solving
• Depression and Anxiety
• Dreams and Dreaming
• Meditation: Try It Out
• Managing Your Stress and Anxiety
• Priority Setting: "First Things First"
• Suggestions Regarding Motivation
• Personal Stress Management
• Stress Management
• How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
• Controlling Anger Before It Controls You
• Life Plan - plan and live an excellent life!

• Interpersonal Skills

• Phone Skills
• Writing Effectively
• Interpersonal Skill Development
• Teamwork Skills
• Leadership, Communication and Change

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• Managing your self through Time management strategies:-

A. Two activities for better time utilization:-

1. Segmentation – the process of separating those things over
which you have control from those which you do not
2. Concentration:-
 The process of systematically controlling those things that
can be controlled
 Consists of planning, organizing, and implementing
activities to control the time use.

B. Planning:-
 The most important step in time management
 Important to engage in planning before beginning any task,
project, or the day’s activities.
 Deciding what should be done first and what should follow
sequentially.
 Closeness of deadlines and the existing time frame

C. Scheduling activities :-
 Determine how much time gets spent on a specific activity
 Establishing to do lists
 Keeps one focused on specific activities
 Reflects priorities and goals
 Revised daily or more frequently

D. Organizing:-

 Remove everything from the work surface that does not

directly relate to the project at hand.
 Place the phone out of sight but within reach
 Remove all personal items that might prove to be distracters
 Complete concentration on one activity until it is
accomplished.
 Undertake and complete only one activity at a time.
 Complete the task correctly the first time.

E. Implementing for control:-

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 1. Finding “extra” time:-
• Using commuting time and coffee breaks to relax
• Instituting working lunches periodically, such as twice a
week
• Posing a question to the subconscious prior to sleep
• Decreasing the usual sleeping time by one half hour per
night to create a whole week of extra time per year

2. Avoiding procrastination:-
• Identify the tasks that are being put off and ask why
• Determine if the task could or should be done by
someone else
• Set priorities in relation to the task and establish
deadlines
• Focus on one aspect at a time

F. Delegating appropriately:-

1. Internal barriers to delegation:-

• Personal preference for how tasks get accomplished
• Believing that no one else can complete the task as well
• Lack of experience in delegating
• Insecurity; fear of being disliked
• Poor communication skills

2. External barriers to delegation:-

 Implementation of a management by crises style
 Confusion regarding responsibilities and authority
 Understaffing
 Lack of experience or competence in the delegate
 Delegate’s avoidance of responsibility or overdependence
on others

3. Steps to facilitate appropriate delegation

 Identify exactly what is to be delegated and why
 Select the best person for the task
 Communicate the assignment in detail

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  Involve the person in establishing objectives and deadlines
 Give the person the authority for accomplishing the task
 Provide adequate resources and support as needed
 Schedule regular meetings for progress reports

G. Controlling interruptions:-

 Most frequent causes of interruptions: telephone calls,

meetings, and visitors

 Do not answer calls during time scheduled for other activities

 Schedule callbacks for times when productivity level is lower
 Be prepared for the conversation with all of the relevant facts
readily available

H. Continuing to succeed:-

 When feeling overwhelmed, always stop and plan activities

 Keep focused on priorities and act accordingly
 Avoid favorite forms of procrastination
 Maintain a positive attitude about established goals or revise
them so they coincide with your value system
 Do something for yourself every day
 Continue to work on overcoming your fears
 Resist doing the easy but unimportant tasks

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Chapter 4

Different ways to manage yourself

Managing Yourself

• Make an appointment with yourself

It gives you the sense of being in control of where you are going, and that
you are taking the positive steps to get there. You will soon realize the
importance of having this quiet time.

 Start your day with a "to do" list

This identifies the tasks required to meet your goals. Prioritize your list then
do the most important first. Whenever something will take less than five
minutes do it now!

 Find the right time management tool

This tool will include a calendar, a living To Do list and a contacts

section.

 Learn how to manage yourself within time.

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 In learning how to prioritize you allow yourself more freedom and
peace of mind. Do the most important items first then the next ones, any
items left may be re-evaluated for urgency for the following day.

 Organize your life using one or more of . . .

 Your address book, your calendar, your scheduler, your task list
commonly called the "To Do" list.

 Balance the time you spend on your business matters, family, friends,
relaxing and playing. This is so important!

 Confirm appointments the day prior to your visit. You may remember the
date, so be sure the person you are visiting does also. This saves time
and it builds good relationships.

 Avoid procrastination as early as possible.

Tell a friend what projects you have going on...someone who will care
enough to know about your progress.

 Schedule a specific time of day to do all of your return phone calls.

The best time of day to return and/or make telephone calls is 30

minutes before lunch, and 30 minutes before quitting time.

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 Chapter 5

Effectively you can Manage Anger

Warm family relationships can help protect children from acting violently,
abusing alcohol and other drugs, or engaging in other high-risk behaviors. But
family members—even in the most loving families—get angry at one another
from time to time. When families communicate well and work cooperatively,
anger can be resolved without a problem. Handled poorly, however, anger gets

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in the way of good communication between parent and child. Anger without
control can sometimes be dangerous and may even becomes violent.

Many adults are not good at managing anger, and expressing this emotion in a
healthy way. Some adults see anger as an emotion that should be suppressed,
because it leads to trouble. Some grew up in families in which anger generally
led to explosive behavior and even violence. Others were taught that it is not
“nice” to be angry. It’s important that parents know how to manage anger
successfully in family life, at work, and in the community. And that same
knowledge needs to be shared with children, so that they learn this important
skill.

The best solution to out-of-control anger—whether from a parent or from a

teen—is to step back, and identify more positive, healthy ways to deal with
strong feelings. We do this when we can calm down and respond in a
disciplined and thoughtful way. By maintaining composure, parents can be
good role models and open the door to constructive communication with their
children.

But how do you keep calm when you feel pushed to the limit? Here are some
suggestions:

Tips for Calming Down

 Pick your battles. Sometimes the issue is not worth the anger, or worth
arguing about.

 Take a deep breath; count to ten. Think about the issue before a single
word comes out of your mouth.

 Go for a walk.

 Use “self-talk” to calm down. That is, say something soothing to

yourself such as: “I need to relax and stay calm. I can’t afford to blow
up.”

 Use humor. Humor can sometimes be a good way to calm anger, but be
sure not to use sarcasm, which can sometimes be hurtful.

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Resolving Conflict:-

Resolving conflict constructively may be a huge challenge, but it’s an absolute

necessity for the sake of every member of your family.Once you are calm, you
are in a better position to address the issues that caused the conflict. Here are
some tips:

 Give your point of view. State the problem as you see it; speak
clearly and calmly— don’t yell.

 Ask to hear your teen’s point of view.

 Pay attention, listen, and carefully consider what your teen is

saying.

 Discuss ways to solve the dispute without a battle.

 Practice the art of compromise. Find the middle ground you can
both live with comfortably.

 Assert your authority, when appropriate, but in a calm, yet firm

manner.

Tips for Managing Yourself For students:-

• Develop new habits/rituals to replace the morning and evening

commute. These rituals will help you transition from home to college
and back again, thereby helping you to structure your day.

• Have a schedule - one that's fairly uniform from day to day. Use
your freedom to set college hours that work best, but each day's
schedule should not differ radically from the last.

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 • Control temptations by scheduling them into your day (a roadside
stop, a break to water your plants, a conversation with a friend/family
member).

• Deal positively but decisively with unscheduled interruptions that

impact work. Some people will think that, because you're at home,
you can't be working. They'll assume you are "available" for other
things. Be consistent in refusing to "take the bait" during your
scheduled work hours. They'll eventually get the message.

• Take your own responsibility for decision-making and problem

solving. Learn where to go to get what you need, whether it is
information, training or other resources.

Chapter 6

TIME MANAGEMENT

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Personal time Management

Personal Time Management is about controlling the use of your most valuable
resource.The absence of Personal Time Management is characterized by last
minute rushes to meet dead-lines, meetings which are either double booked or
achieve nothing, days which seem somehow to slip unproductively by, crises
which loom unexpected from nowhere. This sort of environment leads to
inordinate stress and degradation of performance: it must be stopped.

Poor time management is often a symptom of over confidence: techniques

which used to work with small projects and workloads are simply reused with
large ones. But inefficiencies which were insignificant in the small role are
ludicrous in the large. You can not drive a motor bike like a bicycle, nor can
you manage a supermarket-chain like a market stall

Personal Time Management is a set of tools which allow you to:

eliminate wastage
be prepared for meetings
refuse excessive workloads
Monitor project progress
allocate resource (time) appropriate to a task's importance
ensure that long term projects are not neglected
plan each day efficiently
plan each week effectively

Get Aggressive About Managing Time!

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Time and money are both very important in business. Yet, like me, many
business people tend to give a lot more specific thought as to how to spend
their money. Too often, how we spend our time is only thought of in terms of
"What am I going to do today?" or "What should I do next?"

Prioritize Your Time:

The first step in effective time management is not to develop a schedule, but
instead to develop a time strategy. The time strategy should be based on a short
list of time priorities. These time priorities may be identical to key parts of
your company strategy or they may be different. For example, if your company
strategy is based upon excellent customer service, spending lots of your time in
customer service may not be the best use of your time if you have a terrific
customer-service manager.

Narrow Your Focus:

Focus is crucial for time management, and the fewer priorities you focus on at
once, the more productive you will be. After you have your major time
priorities for the year established, you should allocate them by week or by
month. Like it or not, a lot of our time each week is going to be eaten up by
nonstrategic items that we have no control over; hence it is important to limit
the number of strategic time goals we have for each week. So even if you have
ten strategic time goals for the year, you may want to focus on no more than
one or two of them in any given week.

Avoid My Time Traps:

 Spending a disproportionately high amount of time in the offices

where the most congenial people are, as opposed to where the most
important issues are.

 Wasting too much time getting daily updates on routine activities as

opposed to waiting for a more meaningful weekly summary.

 Jumping too eagerly into the routine, more straightforward work and
putting off the more complex and difficult work.

 Not starting the more important work first thing in the morning.

 Not bothering to make up a schedule for each day.

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  Over scheduling--scheduling each day so tightly that it is impossible
to stay on track and the schedule quickly becomes meaningless.

Long term Objectives:

There are many long term objectives which the good Manager must achieve,
particularly with regard to the development, support and motivation of his/her
work-team. Long term objectives have the problem of being important but not
urgent; they do not have deadlines, they are distant and remote. For this reason,
it is all too easy to ignore them in favour of the urgent and immediate. Clearly
a balance must be struck.

The beauty of Time Management is that the balance can be decided objectively
(without influence from immediate deadlines) and self-imposed through the
use of the diary. Similarly, time may be allocated to staff development and
training. So if one afternoon a month is deemed to be a suitable allocation, then
simply designate the second Thursday (say) of each month and delegate the
choice of speakers. The actual time spent in managing this sort of long term
objective is small, but without that deliberate planning it will not be achieved.

Once you have implemented Personal Time Management, it is worth using

some of that control to augment your own career. Some quiet weekend, you
should sketch out your own long term objectives and plan a route to them. As
you would any long term objective, allocate time to the necessary sub-tasks
and monitor your progress. If you do not plan where you want to go, you are
unlikely to get there.

Tackling the Tasks

Make sure you have prioritised your tasks first

 Think about what needs to be completed

Do you need to attend an important meeting? Do you need to respond
to a discussion question?

 Put timings next to the tasks

how much time do I need to budget for each task on my list? Do I
need to get somewhere? Add the traveling time it takes to the task.
Schedule it. Try to schedule some tasks into "dead" time. Can you

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 read a lecture or textbook during your commute? Can you outline an
essay while you drive or do chores around the house?

 Determine what resources you need

Generally the only resource needed is YOU, but you may also need
access to a PC or the Internet, or a textbook. Make sure they are
accessible.

 Look at your available time

how much time do you, and only you, have available? Remember,
there are only 24 hours in the day, and you still have to eat, sleep, and
relax

 Monitor your progress

In order to feel your progress you must monitor the completion of
tasks. Consider: Did you over or under estimate your time
requirements? Do you have even more tasks to complete now?

Chapter 7
Easy ways for Self-Improvement

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Building New Qualities With Old Ones
To develop new strengths, draw upon the strengths and abilities you already
have. Use them as construction materials for forming new aspects of yourself.
Build on the foundation already established inside you.
Don't try to change yourself when it comes to who you are. Instead, change the
way you see yourself and let it manifest.

Costs and Benefits

Consider the costs and benefits. Understanding your potential gains and your
eventual losses will fuel your endeavors and get your brain to cooperate. What
will happen if you do not reach your goal? How will you feel? How will your
life change if you do succeed?

Make Time
Make time to spend on yourself. If you set aside even ten minutes a day to
think about your goals, to contemplate, and to practice, you accomplish much
more than spending a full day every so often.

Prioritize
Choose one or two goals at a time. You do not have time to make everything
about yourself perfect at once. If you try to tackle everything about yourself
you want to change, you will only end up giving up. Set aside a little bit of
time every day or every week. If you can make time to watch your favorite
show on television every Thursday, you can make time to work on your goal.

Practice
Did you know that you can change the structure and chemistry of your brain in
a specific area by repeatedly using your mind in a certain way? The first
implication here is that you can make permanent changes in the way you think
and feel, but there is another implication. You have already made permanent
changes. Practice not only changes your mind, it changes the structure of your
brain. This simple form of learning is one of the most primitive mechanisms in
the brain

Little Steps
Follow a plan. Take little steps. You do not need to make yourself perfect in a
week. If you are afraid of the emotional pain that lies ahead, remember that the
only thing you ever have to worry about is the next step, not the next ten steps
or the next mile, just the next step.

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Monitor Yourself
self-awareness is absolutely necessary for making changes in the way you
think, feel, or react. Self-awareness is as necessary to changing yourself as a
good ear is to playing good music. Listen to your thoughts. You cannot change
your thoughts if you are not aware of them throughout the day.

Identification
Identify your emotions. Emotions can be elusive. Sometimes it is hard to tell
exactly what emotion is present. Sometimes no emotions seem to surface.
Emotions can be hard to identify for several reasons. Conflicting emotions can
pull you in so many directions that you end up stuck in the middle. A pause can
help.

Reward
Reward yourself. If you succeed in any way, a pat on the back is warranted.
Give yourself feedback. Remember where you used to be. Often when our
efforts succeed, they succeed so gradually that we fail to take notice. You
simply need to remember how you used to feel and how you used to see things.
When you put your goals into practice, take notice. Think about the fact that
you succeeded.

Progress Journal

Keep a journal. Keep an organizer or record book of your progress, concerns,

and exercises. For instance, you could write two sentences every night about
how you put your personal goals into practice, or you could write down a
number from 1 to 100 indicating how you feel with respect to your goal. You
could write down anything that stood in your way or why you found it difficult
to implement a new plan. Whatever you choose to write, a journal is a great
resource. Not only does it keep you focused on your goals, it gradually
becomes your own personal textbook on the subject.

Chapter 8
Tips for Body Language

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Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others,
especially people we've just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect
and interest in what they have to say. Here in the UK we tend to keep eye
contact around 60-70% of the time. (However, there are wide cultural
differences, so be careful in other countries) By doing this you won't make the
other people feel self conscious, like they've got a bit of vegetable stuck
between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose. . Instead, it will give
them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company, any more eye
contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal
that you are lacking interest in them or their conversation.

Posture is the next thing to master, get your posture right and you'll
automatically start feeling better, as it makes you feel good almost instantly.
Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down, take a look at how your
standing or sitting. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders
drooping down and inward. This collapses the chest and inhibits good
breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or uncomfortable.

Head position is a great one to play around with, with yourself and others.
When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both
horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when
you want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously.
Conversely, when you want to be friendly and in the listening, receptive mode,
tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from left to
right at different points in the conversation.

Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we
meet and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or
behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes
your way and you meet things "full frontal

Legs are the furthest point away from the brain, consequently they're the
hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. They tend move around a lot
more than normal when we are nervous, stressed . So best to keep them as still
as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings

Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here goes.
Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. Palm down

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gestures are generally seen as dominant, emphasizing and possibly aggressive,
especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the
forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to
handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake
upright and vertical, which should convey equality.

Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Stand
too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". Stand or sit too far
away and you'll be "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". Neither are what
we want, so observe if in a group situation how close are all the other people to
each other. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away,
you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space, their comfort
zone. "You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little.

Ears, yes your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even
though general terms most people can't move them much, if at all. However,
you've got two ears and only one mouth, so try to use them in that order. If you
listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who
knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or
the wallflower.

Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We purse our lips and
sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Another occasion we
might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't wish to
reveal. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although
they may not know the comment, they will get a feeling you were not to
pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a
corresponding feeling to its recipient which we'll cover next time.

Chapter 9
Develop Positive Thinking for success

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Complete life changes can occur by simply changing the polarity of your
thoughts from the negative to the positive. The one thing that influences every
aspect in your life is your Mind. Then desiring to make positive changes in our
life, it is valuable to evaluate how we Think, Believe and Behave. If we like
our life as it is then we can continue doing what we have always done. If we do
not like our life as it is, then we must make changes, and the best place to start
is with our thoughts.

Positive thinking are incredibly powerful tools for building self esteem and
confidence as well as overall personal development and self growth. When we
want to make changes in our life, the words and thoughts we say to our self are
very important.

Positive thinking can be used to create any desired conditions in our life;
whether that be more fulfilling personal relationships, more self esteem and
confidence, greater prosperity, vibrant health and so on.

Tips on making positive affirmations :

Write down the affirmation and put it in a prominent place in home where
we can see it every day – computer, purse/wallet, bathroom, bedroom;
Sing the affirmation in the shower!
Write it down 20 – 50 in your diary/journal;
Say it to yourself every morning and evening;
Draw the affirmations using colorful pencils, paints;

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 Record yourself saying these affirmations and play the tape to yourself
every morning and evening for at least 21 days;
Use self help quotes inspirational and motivational sayings to assist you in
your positive thinking activities.
To identify your negative thoughts.
To replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
Develop a healthy attitude towards yourself
Think critically and creatively
Improve your relationships with others

"Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve."

“So think better”

Chapter 10

Meditation For Relaxation

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Meditation Boosts Happiness and Health:-

Meditation reduces negative emotions and strengthens the immune system. The
purpose of meditation is to make our mind calm and peaceful. If our mind is
peaceful, we will be free from worries and mental discomfort, and so we will
experience true happiness; but if our mind is not peaceful, we will find it very
difficult to be happy, even if we are living in the very best conditions. If we
train in meditation, our mind will gradually become more and more peaceful,
and we will experience a purer and purer form of happiness. Eventually, we
will be able to stay happy all the time, even in the most difficult circumstances.

Purpose:-
With the hectic pace and demands of modern life, many people feel stressed
and over-worked. It often feels like there is just not enough time in the day to
get everything done. Our stress and tiredness make us unhappy, impatient and
frustrated. It can even affect our health. We are often so busy we feel there is
no time to stop and meditate! But meditation actually gives you more time by
making your mind calmer and more focused. A simple ten or fifteen minute
breathing meditation as explained below can help you to overcome your stress
and find some inner peace and balance.
The ultimate purpose of meditation is not to produce pleasant emotions,
experience a supernatural phenomenon, or even to relax. Instead, if there is any
purpose at all that one can point to, it is to practice a state of mind or being that
is unattached and unmoved by events or thoughts, perceptions or sensations, to

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find inner silence and lose that sense of separateness that adds unnecessary
abstractions to our experience of life.

Expectation:-
Some say, when you meditate, you must not have a goal beyond the simple act
of meditating. You must not hold in mind any expectation. Any image you
form of what meditation will bring you becomes the substance of a false
experience. For example, if you imagine a state of oneness, you may feel a
sense of union with the world around you, but that experience will simply be a
product of your visualization. If we train in meditation systematically,
eventually we will be able to eradicate from our mind the delusions that are the
causes of all our problems and suffering. In this way, we will come to
experience a permanent inner peace, known as "liberation" or "nirvana". Then,
day and night in life after life, we will experience only peace and happiness.

Instructions for Meditation:-

• Find a quite place where you won’t be disturbed for half and hour

• Sit comfortably with your back and spine straight and feet flat on the floor

• Feel your body relax and become aware of it doing so.

• Let each and every breath you take circulate its energy around your whole
being

• Allow your mind to slowly clear of the days events

• Visualise yourself somewhere that holds pleasant memories for you

• Allow your mind to recreate all of the senses activated by this memory,
sight, sound, smell ect.

• Feel yourself slowly being drawn back to that time and place

27
• Now allow yourself to re-experience this memory and enjoy it all over
again

• Slowly allow yourself to return to where you are now, refreshed, cleansed
and clear.

Some easy ways to meditate

Breathing practice - take a breath in counts 1, 2, then breathe out counts 3, 4;

breathe in counts 1, 2, then breathe out counts 3, 4 and continue for about 5
minutes.

Candle gazing - tratak - sit on your cushion facing your little table and do the
even breathing while watching the candle flame with half closed eyes; don’t
strain. If you feel like it, close your eyes after a few minutes.

Out on the street or at work or school - on a moment’s notice when feeling

upset begin your even breathing technique and continue a few rounds till you
regain your composure.

Chapter 11

28
 To develop Will Power and Self-Discipline

Will power is the ability to control inner unnecessary and harmful impulses. It
is the ability to overcome laziness and procrastination. It is the ability to arrive
to a decision and follow it with perseverance until its successful
accomplishment. It is the inner power that allows you to refuse to indulge in
unnecessary, useless habits and grants you the strength to overcome inner
resistances. It is one of the corner stones of success, spiritual and material.

Will power and self-discipline help us to choose our behavior and reactions
instead of being their slaves. . Don't think that life will become dull and dry in
this way. On the contrary, you will feel more powerful, in charge of yourself
and your surrounding, and consequently much more happy and satisfied.

Will power gets stronger by holding back and not allowing the expression of
unimportant, unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, actions and
reactions. If this saved energy is not allowed expression, it is stored inside you
like a battery, and it becomes available at the time of need. By practicing the
exercises you develop your powers the same way as someone who engages in
bodybuilding builds his muscles. When you exercise your will power you
strengthen your self-discipline and gain inner strength. The more you exercise,
the stronger you become.

Here are some exercises:

o You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a

pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat even if you
prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is polite, but
because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In
this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind
and feelings.

o There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone
washing them for latter. Get up and wash them now. Do not let
your laziness overcome you. When you know that in this way you
are developing your will power, and if you are convinced of the

29
 importance of will power in your life, it will be easier for you to
do whatever you have to do.

o You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V.
because you feel too lazy and tired to go and wash yourself. Do
not obey the desire to just sit, but go and have a shower

o You may know your body needs some physical exercise, but
instead you keep on sitting doing nothing or watching a movie.
Get up and walk, run or do some other physical exercise.

o Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide
to drink it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee
each day? For a week drink only two.

o Overcome your laziness and your habits. Convince yourself of the

importance of what is to be done. Convince your mind that you
become stronger when you do things, even when you are
reluctant, too lazy or believe you are too tired to do.

o Sometimes, when you want to say something that is not important,

decide not to say it.

o Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you

want to.

Advantages of Possessing Strong Will Power and Self Discipline:-

You need will power and self-discipline order to rule your thoughts and to be
the boss of your mind. The stronger your will power and self discipline are, the
more control you have over your thoughts, and consequently your powers of
concentration get stronger. They are essential for self growth, spiritual growth
and meditation. They are the powers that change your habits, and are the key to
any kind of success. Will power and self discipline give you more control over
your daily life, help you in the development of all the inner powers and are
essential for a spiritual search. They keep you on the right track until you get
what you are after.
Chapter 12

30
 The Power of Repeated Words and Thoughts
Thinking is usually a mixture of words, sentences, mental images and
sensations. Thoughts are visitors in the central station of the mind. They come,
stay a while and then disappear making space for other thoughts.
It is of vital importance to be careful of what goes into the subconscious mind.
Words and thoughts that are repeated often get stronger by the repetitions, sink
into the subconscious mind and affect the behavior, actions and reactions of the
person involved.

This means that if you often tell yourself that it is difficult or impossible to
acquire money, the subconscious mind will accept you words and put obstacles
in your way. If you keep saying that you are rich, it will find ways to bring you
opportunities and push you towards taking advantage of these opportunities.

The thoughts that you express through your words shape your life. This is often
done unconsciously, as few pay attention to their thoughts and the words they
use while thinking, and let outside circumstances and situations determine what
they think about. In this case there is no freedom. Here the outside world
affects the inner world.

If you consciously choose the thoughts, phrases and words that you repeat in
your mind, your life will start to change. You will begin creating new situations
and circumstances. You will be using the power of affirmations.

Affirmations are sentences that are repeated often during the day, and which
sink into the subconscious mind, thereby releasing its enormous power to
materialize the intention of the words and phrases in the outside world. This
does not mean that every word has the power to make changes. The words
have to be said with attention and with feeling, in order to trigger the
subconscious mind into action.

Affirmations have to be phrased in positive words in order to be effective.

Consider the following two sentences:

1. I am not weak anymore.

31
2. I am strong and powerful.

Though both sentences seem to say the same thing in different words, the first
one is a negative sentence. It creates in the mind a mental image of weakness.
This is a wrong wording. The second sentence awakens in the mind a mental
image of strength.

It is not enough to say an affirmation a few times, and then expect your life to
change. More than this is necessary. It is important to affirm with attention, as
well as with strong desire, faith and persistence. It is also important to choose
the right affirmation for any specific situation. You need to feel comfortable
with it; otherwise the affirmation may not work or may bring you something
that you do not want.

Affirmations can be used to strengthen the process of creative visualization,

and they can be used on their own. They are of special importance for people
who find it difficult to visualize. In this case they are a substitution to creative
visualization.

Instead of repeating negative and useless words and phrases in the mind, you
can choose positive words and phrases to help you build the life you want. By
choosing your thoughts and words you exercise control over your life.

Here are a few affirmations:

 Day by day I am becoming happier and more satisfied.

 With every inhalation I am filling myself with happiness.

 Love is filling my life now.

 The power of the Cosmos is filling my life with love.

 A lot of money is flowing now into my life.

 The power of the Universal Mind is now filling my life with wealth.

32
 The powerful and vital energy of the Cosmos is flowing and filling my
body and mind.

 Healing energy is constantly filling every cell of my body.

 I always stay calm and in control of myself, in every situation and in all
circumstances.

 I am having a wonderful, happy and fascinating day.

33
Chapter 13

The Power of Imagination

Imagination is the ability to form a mental image of something that is not

perceived through the senses. It is the ability of the mind to built mental
scenes, objects or events that do not exist, are not present or have happened in
the past. Memory is actually a manifestation of imagination. Everyone
possesses some imagination ability. In some it may be highly developed and in
others it may manifest in a weaker form. It manifests in various degrees in
various people.

Imagination makes it possible to experience a whole world inside the mind. It

gives the ability to look at any situation from a different point of view, and
enables one to mentally explore the past and the future.
Imagination is a creative power that is necessary for inventing an instrument,
designing a dress or a building, painting a picture or writing a book. The
creative power of imagination has an important role in the achievement of
success in any field. What we imagine with faith and feelings comes into
being. It is the power beyond creative visualization, positive thinking and
affirmations.

Imagination is not limited only to seeing pictures in the mind. It includes all
the five senses and the feelings. One can imagine a sound, taste, smell, a
physical sensation or a feeling or emotion. For some people it is easier to see
mental pictures, others find it easier to imagine a feeling, and some are more
comfortable imagining the sensation of one of the five senses. Training of the
imagination gives the ability to combine all the senses.

A developed and strong imagination does not make you a daydreamer and
impractical. On the contrary, it strengthens your creative abilities, and is a great
tool for recreating and remodeling your world and life.

This is a great power that can change your whole life. It is used extensively in
magick, creative visualization and affirmations. It is the creator of

34
circumstances and events. When you know how to work with it, you can make
your hearts' desires come true.

Visualizing an object or a situation, and repeating often this mental image,

attracts the object or situation into our lives. This opens for us new, vast and
fascinating opportunities.

This means that we should think only in a positive manner about our desires,
otherwise we may create and attract into our lives events, situations and people
that we don't really want. This is actually what most of us do, because we don't
use the power if imagination correctly.

If you do not recognize the importance of the power of the imagination, and let
it run riot, your life may not be as happy and successful as you would have
wanted it to be. Understanding how to use your imagination correctly, and
putting this knowledge into practice, for your own and others' benefit, will put
you on the golden path to success, satisfaction and happiness.

35
Chapter 14

The Power of Concentration

Concentration can be described as having a one pointed mind, focused

attention, or the ability to pay attention to one single thought or subject to the
exclusion of everything else.

Concentration has many uses. Concentrating on your activities makes you

perform them better, faster and successfully. Focusing on work makes work
more efficient. A better concentration makes studying easier, understanding
faster, and improves the memory. It helps us to focus on our goals and achieve
them more easily.

When this ability is developed, the mind obeys us readily, and does not engage
in useless dissipating thoughts and worries, and we experience true peace of
mind. Concentration, which is actually mind mastery, is also a very important
tool in practicing meditation. Without it the mind just jumps restlessly from
one subject to another.

36
• The benefits of developing concentration

• Control of thoughts.
• Peace of mind.
• Self-confidence.
• Inner strength.
• Will power.
• The ability to focus your mind.
• Better memory.
• The ability to decide and carry on your decisions.
• Better functioning in daily life, whether at home or at work.
• The ability to study and comprehend more quickly.
• Think when you want to, about what you want to think.
• Inner happiness.
• Help in developing psychic abilities.
• More powerful and efficient creative visualization and guided
imagination.
• True meditation.

• Concentration exercises

Exercise 1
Count backwards in your mind from one hundred to one.

Exercise 2
Count in your mind from one hundred to one, skipping each three numbers,
that is 100, 97, 94, etc.

Exercise 3
Choose an inspiring word, or just a simple sound, and repeat it silently in your
mind for five minutes. When your mind can concentrate more easily, try to
reach ten minutes of uninterrupted concentration.

Exercise 4
Take a fruit, an apple for example, and look at it from all sides. Concentrate
your attention on it and examine it from all sides. Devote the whole session to
concentrating on it. Do not be carried away by irrelevant thoughts that arise.
Stay with the apple. It could be any other fruit. Look at it and do not think

37
about the shop were you bought it, about the way it is grown, its nutritive value
etc, only about the object in front of you. Just look at it, see it, smell it and
touch it.

Exercise 5
Take a small simple object such as a spoon, a fork, or a glass. Concentrate on
one of these objects. Watch the object from all sides without any verbalization,
that is, with no words in your mind. Just watch the object without thinking with
words about it.

Exercise 6
Take a book and count the words in any one paragraph. Count them again to be
sure that you have counted them correctly. Start with one paragraph and when
it becomes easier, count the words in a whole page. Perform the counting
mentally and only with your eyes, without pointing you finger at each word.

Exercise 7
Try for at least five minutes, to stay without thoughts. This exercise is to be
attempted only after all the previous ones have been performed successfully.
The previous exercises, if practiced correctly, will endow you with the ability
to impose silence on your thoughts. In time it will become easier and easier.

38
chapter 15

Ways to develop Self Improvement and Self Growth

Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become

popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too. It
seems that people are turning inside to find the solution to their problems. They
seek knowledge, techniques, workshops, lectures and teachers who can show
them the way. People begin to understand that self improvement and self
growth improve the quality of life. The desire to change, build new habits and
improve must be strong enough to resist any laziness, desire to give up and the
ridicule or opposition from family, friends or colleagues.

The subconscious mind is one of the major keys to self-improvement and self-
growth. By changing the contents of the subconscious mind you change your
habits, behavior and attitudes. This is brought about by thinking, meditation,
visualization and affirmations.

How can you too take advantage of this technique for self improvement and
growth?

1. Look around you and watch how people behave in various circumstances.
Watch the people you meet at home, work, at the supermarket, on the bus, train
and on the street. Watch and learn also from people interviewed on TV, and
also from movies.

2. Watch how people talk, walk, and react, and how they are treated by others.

3. Pay attention to the way people use their voice and how they react to others'
voices. Watch how you feel and act when people shout or speak softly. Watch
what happens when people get angry, restless and upset and what happens if
they are calm and relaxed.

39
4. If you do not like what you see, analyze what and why you do not like it, and
then analyze your own behavior to find out whether you behave in the same
way. Be honest and impartial in your analysis.

5. Play in your mind a mental scene of how you would like to behave. Repeat it
several times a day, every day.

6. You can also decide to change some habit and behavior patterns and develop
new ones, because you believe they are necessary and beneficial, even without
seeing them in others first.

7. Do not be disappointed or frustrated if you do not attain fast results. It does

not matter how many times you fail or forget to behave as you desired.

8. Think and visualize over and over again in your mind how you would like to
act and behave. Constantly remind yourself of the changes you desire to make,
and strive to act according to them. Each time that you find yourself acting
according to your old habit, remember your decision to change and improve,
and act accordingly.

40
Chapter 16

Tips to Tackle Sleep, Thoughts, Worries and Fears

Do you fall asleep immediately after entering bed or do thoughts and worries
begin to flow into your mind, keeping your sleep away? Do you find it hard to
stop them?
If you are not healthy you will probably think about your health. If you have
problems at work, then thoughts about these problems will probably flood your
mind. A child will have thoughts about his parents, teachers or examinations,
and a businessman about his work. Thoughts, worries and fears that are usually
repressed during the day surface up and swarm the mind.

If you fight these thoughts and try to stop them forcefully they will grow
stronger, because you will be giving them more attention. If you want to get rid
of a tree growing in your garden and cut it down, it will grow again quite fast,
but if you stop watering it, it will gradually wither. You need to treat your
thoughts in the same manner. In order to calm them down you have to ignore
them, which is equivalent to not watering the tree.

How to ignore these nagging thoughts that escort you to bed? Here are few
tips:-

1. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, not too early and not too late.

2. Lie down on your bed and relax your body.

3. For 2-3 minutes pay attention to every muscle in your body from head to toe.
If you find any tense muscle, relax it.

4. For about one minute, let thoughts come freely into your mind.

41
5. Tell your mind that if it has any important thoughts that require attention,
you are willing to discuss them tomorrow.

6. Now try to look at the thoughts with lack of interest. Lack of interest is the
magic word when it comes to controlling and silencing thoughts. Do not let
your feelings to be aroused and manipulated by your thoughts. If thoughts still
come, and they probably will, it is all right. Don't fight them, but just try to
ignore them by losing any interest in them. An ignored thought ultimately goes
away. Don't worry if you fail at first. Keep on trying and the situation will
improve.

7. There is another thing that can be done, and that is to practice meditation
every day.

8. Watch the thoughts that enter your mind as if watching a boring movie and
they will lose their power

42
Techniques to develop skill for success in business &
career

Managing People to Motivate

 Building the Winning Team

"Everyone wants to feel that they are on a winning team, that the company
is moving ahead, and that they are an integral part of the group."

 Beyond Hiring Great People

Building the winning team requires more than just hiring a bunch of
talented people.

⇒ It means hiring people who will work well together.

⇒ It means developing a shared vision and commitment.
⇒ It means physically bringing people together in formal group meetings
for open discussion of broad-based issues.
⇒ It means encouraging positive, informal interactions between group
members.
⇒ It means instilling a "winning" attitude throughout the organization.
⇒ It means watching for and quickly trying to reverse team-building
problems such as jealousy, cynicism, and defensive behavior.

 Get them To "Buy In"!

To build the winning team, you not only need to show people what
direction the company is headed in, but you need to get them to "buy
into" this direction. Otherwise, you can't expect people to support a
group if they don't agree with where it's headed or, worse, don't even
know where it's headed.

⇒ Specifically, you need to show people:

⇒ Your vision for the future.

43
⇒ Your strategy for getting there.
⇒ Why this is the best strategy.
⇒ Every achievement that indicates this team is winning.
⇒ This is not a one-time discussion or announcement.
⇒ You need to constantly remind people what the organization stands for
and that it does indeed hold a bright future for them!

 Meetings Build Teams

Part of building the winning team is having some group meetings.
Meetings, or even parties or celebrations, with as many people as
possible from the entire organization, help build a feeling of solidarity
throughout the organization.

⇒ But it is also important to have everyone participate in smaller group

meetings where some work is done or some decisions are made. This
makes people feel that they aren't just part of some big group, but that
they are an active, important part of a team.
⇒ For key managers, or people in your work group, you should have an
interactive meeting once per week-not a meeting where you just make
announcements and summarize the work that's been done and needs to
be done, but a meeting where everyone has an opportunity to give
feedback on substantive issues.

 Getting People To Work Together

Perhaps the most difficult part of building a winning team is encouraging
positive, informal interaction between team members when you are not
present. Here are some thoughts on this:

⇒ Have team members take part in the hiring process of new team
members.
⇒ Assign specific projects for two team members to work on together.
⇒ Try to arrange for close proximity of offices.
⇒ Create an incentive-pay plan based on common goals such as
profitability.
⇒ Have a specific part of the salary review dependent upon "interaction
with others."
⇒ Take your team off-site for formal meetings as well as casual get-
togethers to build a sense of bonding.

44
 Watch Out For Team Destroyers!
Here are some of the problems that can rip the team-building process
apart.

⇒ Jealousy. Be on guard for jealousy whenever a new member is hired into

the group. Go out of your way to tell other team members how much
their work is appreciated.
⇒ Cynicism. Some people are just negative by nature. Others might feel
your company can't possibly prosper or they just don't like small
companies, big companies, or whatever . . . . Be sure you are
emphasizing the company's positive achievements to the group as a
whole. And don't hesitate to confront any openly cynical individual and
demand their behavior change at once.
⇒ Lack of confidence. Some people lack confidence in themselves and
view attacks on their opinions as attacks on themselves, responding with
statements like "Are you telling me my fifteen years of experience don't
matter?" Stop any discussion like this immediately and, in a private one-
on-one meeting, patiently point out the defensive behavior.

45
 Develop Good Team Member

1. Excellent technical, professional competence

Business projects require professional skills. If it is a shorter project (3 months)
you should have a lot of task oriented, good technical experts on board;
however if the
project team is large (more than 8), the duration greater than 6 months then
having a few social oriented people on board would reduce the interpersonal-
communications strain from the project team.

2. Good interpersonal skills

Effective interpersonal communication is vital to the smooth functioning of any
task team. Communication skills --listening, written and oral, telephone, email
-- are a
must. Conflict handling, negotiating skills are an added advantage. Trusts,
supports, and has genuine concern for other team members. Helpful and
cooperative with others.

46
3. Sharing, giving tendency
Shares his knowledge and expertise freely with team members. Shares openly,
with honesty and integrity with others regarding personal feelings, opinions,
thoughts, and
perceptions about problems and conditions.

4. Respects authority
Gains the respect of every team member. Respects his boss, the Top
Management of the organization and the customers’ managers. Consoles and
reasons with other team members and resolves complaints of other team
members with patience, understanding and empathy. Understands and is
committed to team objectives..

5. Cares for the customer

Polite, courteous to everyone including the customers. Has real concern and
thinks of both short term and long term benefits from customer’s viewpoint.
Negotiates well with the customer and the company’s Top Management to
ensure less
stress and strain for the team.

6. Welcomes feedback
Encourages feedback on own behavior Takes the necessary corrective and
preventive actions to ensure harmony, peace and joyful environment for project
execution.

7. Finger on the pulse

He has a finger on the pulse of the teams’ feelings and concerns. Helps to fix
the conflicts, negotiates between conflicting parties and negotiates a win/win
ending. Is
aware of what goes on around him, is able to sense danger and steer the team
members onto happy solutions faster.

8. Integrity, honesty and trust

whatever good qualities a person may possess, they are of no use to him or to
anyone else when he does not have integrity of character. Integrity is being true
to oneself, honesty is being true to others. He should be trust worthy and trust
others with his eyes open.

47
 To develop Skills for Success

1. Leadership.

Is the ability to get people to do what you want them to do? If you are a good
leader, people will do what you've asked them to do, whether or not you are
there to supervise. Leadership includes the skills of motivation, change
facilitation, behavior modification and conflict management.

2. Organization

Is the ability to manage time, people and processes in such a way that
everything is done in the best order, by the best qualified worker, in the most
efficient time frame. A good organizer also insures that all materials involved
in the process are available in the right place, at the right time and in sufficient
quantity, without excessive reserves.

3. Selling skill

Is the ability to get people to buy your ideas, services or products. This skill is
the only way you get money for whatever you do. Selling skill is part of the
skill category of Influence, which also encompasses Persuasion and
Negotiation.

4. Information Acquisition and Management

Includes finding the best news, articles, books, tapes, videos, training and
other written and multiple media sources that keep you current and "in the
know" in your field of expertise, as well as closely related fields. But
moreover, having good "information skills" means having access to experts
who can help you and having an extensive address book with a great contact
network. That's because you need to know how to find out about stuff that you
don't know.

5. Current Technologies.

48
The number of professionals, executives and managers who are still being
dragged kicking and screaming all the way into the 21st century where
technology is concerned. Here's the reality: you must know and use all the
current technology relevant to business in general and to your field in
particular.

6. Persuasion and Negotiation

Are the basic abilities to get others to do what you want or give you what you
want. They are closely related to selling skills and to motivation..

7. Good Judgment.

Whether you call it good judgment, common sense, it's one of the most valued
abilities in any endeavor in virtually all societies. It is the ability to make
accurate evaluations and prudent choices, especially in regard to other people.
It starts with the development of what is often called "critical thinking skills."

8. Writing.

This is the information age. People want to know what you know. They want
to have access to what you know even when they can't get access to you. So,
they want you to write it down for them. They want you to write it concisely,
accurately and in a way that is easy to understand.

9. Speaking.

At a minimum, you should be able to effectively run and participate in

meetings. Even at the middle management level you must be able to speak up
for yourself and your department in meetings; unless you can do so, you not
only won't get promoted, you also won't be an effective manager. You should
be able to argue for yourself when you want to get a raise in salary, get a
budget approved or get a project approved. You should know how to be a good
interviewee and a good interviewer. You simply have to learn to speak
effectively to get a job.

Techniques No.3

49
 Steps for Faster Promotion:

• Know your roles, responsibilities. Discuss these with your supervisor

and with HR too if required. Plan your accomplishments and
achievements periodically with your boss. Keep him informed of all
activities that you take up. Get his approval and concurrence on the work
that you do. A small precaution here is that you should be careful to
volunteer for those jobs that will propel you towards your career path
and not away from it. Concentrate your energies on high-focus, critical
tasks, which are in keeping with your long-term career goals.
• Excel at your tasks. In the final analysis, it is the output that you produce
that will speak volumes for you. Do the best you can at whatever you
undertake. Remember that doing ‘the right thing’ is more important than
doing things right. Adopt the maxim 'do the right thing right the first
time' as your policy. You should be efficient in the most effective task on
hand. Ensure that you have the right mix of stretch/challenging tasks and
high focus, high profile tasks in your area of expertise.
• Know the whole picture: identify the experts and the decision makers.
Knowing your role and responsibility and boundaries is important.
However you need to know the whole picture and where your role fits
in. Who are the technical experts in your company? What are they
experts at? Who are the decision makers in your company and what do
they have authority to decide? This knowledge is invaluable and you
must ask questions of your boss and the HR till you know the answers.
Sometimes you will need to use your Networking friends to get a few
hidden answers.
• Be generous with your praise: Neither fawning nor indifferent. Be alert
to notice good things that happen and be the first to congratulate your
peers, your colleagues, your subordinates, the experts and decision
makers in the company. Catch them doing something right and let them
know that you appreciate.
• Plan your self-marketing campaign. Being talented and working hard are
often not sufficient to get yourself the promotion and recognition that
you desire. You need to be perceived as invaluable in those roles and at
those tasks that you wish to grow in. This calls for a good marketing

50
 plan to promote yourself, your accomplishments and achievements. How
and when you communicate to the experts and decision makers, to your
boss needs to be planned in a periodic and regular manner. The
dissemination of your valuable outputs should look effortless and natural
– not forced and aggressive.

How do you use time in effective manner?

Here are some tips to use time in effective manner:

• Getting Back To Basics

The most useful "little helper" for business people must surely be the daily To
Do list.

You have a couple of choices:

Write your list in the morning, as the first task at the commencement of your
working day.

Step back a bit and take the time to do it before you finish up the night before -
as your final flourish for the day. This helps to free
your mind so that you don't take your work home with you. Instead, you just

51
leave it there to stew, all by itself, until you arrive next morning to take up the
reins.

• Write It Down

Effective time management means writing things down so you don't waste your
time worrying about what you've forgotten.

Avoid trying to create a To Do list in your head. It must, must, must be written
down. And then left somewhere highly visible, such as your desk top. That's
why I suggest writing it in your diary, so you can juggle it with your other
commitments.

An effective To Do list will almost always be updated during the day. It is not a
static document. As your priorities alter with each crisis, your list will be a
work in progress.

First of all, don't be unrealistic. Steel yourself to list only the achievable
projects and activities. If you are unable to complete a task on the designated
day, simply transfer it to the next day or another suitable time in your diary.
Look at the daily To Do list as the map that keeps you on track.

When you have written your list in the diary, go back and number each item in
order of importance. Then, you can simply start with No. One and work your
way through.

• You’re Work Book

In our busy working lives today, we are bombarded with so many different
distractions that it is sometimes difficult to keep track of everything that's
going on, particularly if you work in an open-plan office.

Instead of recording on scraps of paper or sticky notes all the zillion thoughts
that pass through your mind during these stressful periods, use an inexpensive
spiral note book. Anything of importance that you write down can then be
found again at a later date. Use it as an adjunct, or a companion, to your diary
and as a great memory jogger.

You'll find using a Work Book will help you focus your thoughts, remind
yourself of past conversations and save time as you'll no longer have to search
for all those "back of envelope" notations.

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• The Final Word

Keep your time management systems simple because the simpler they are the
more likely you will use them. Doing the basics will help you work smarter,
not harder.

How to be an effective speaker?

1. Have a passion for your subject(s). If you don’t care about your topic, who
will? Make a list of five topics you love.

2. Speak from your heart. Be authentic. Be vulnerable. Share your mishaps and
idiosyncrasies. You won’t be perceived as real until you do this. When you are
truthful, your audiences will trust what you are saying. Let your message
provide hope for your audience.

3. Connect quickly with your audience. You only have 30 seconds to make
your connection. So pay attention to your opening remarks. Don’t use jokes
they may offend people in your audience. Do use short quotations, a funny

53
story that is relevant to your message, a question or two to get their attention
quickly.

4. Speak to the ways people learn; auditory, visual and kinesthetic. Know your
audience so that you can offer the right mix. Research suggests 40% are visual,
40% and only 20% are auditory. If you don’t use props or visuals, you will not
reach 80% of your audience. Be inclusive and find ways/tools that will speak
to 100% of the people in your audience.

5. Support your main points with stories most people delineate their thoughts
visually. People learn best from your personal stories. They will also do a
better job in retaining your message if you tell them a story. Remember when
you were a kid. . .you said to your parents, tell me a story. When an adult hears
your story, they are only a step away from their own story. Become a good
story teller and watch your referrals and repeat business increase.

6. Make it fun learning is directly proportional to the amount of fun your

audience is having laughter is like internal jogging. Inject some humor along
the way. The audience wants to lighten up even with serious matters.
Reminder---mature adults do not take themselves too seriously.

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 How to set goals effectively?
The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:

1. Be precise: Set a precise goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that
you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly
when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction
from having achieved it.

2. Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This
helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to
direct your attention to the most important ones.

3. Write goals down: crystallizes them and gives them more force.

4. Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working
towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that
you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and
incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Derive today's goals
from larger ones.

5. Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set
goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing
more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons
beyond your control. These could be bad business environments, poor
judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your
goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the
achievement of your goals and draw satisfaction from them.

6. Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can achieve. All
sorts of people (parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you.
They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions.
Alternatively you may be naïve in setting very high goals. You might
not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how
many skills you must master to achieve a particular level of
performance.

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 7. Do not set goals too low: Just as it is important not to set goals
unrealistically high, do not set them too low. People tend to do this
where they are afraid of failure or where they are lazy! You should set
goals so that they are slightly out of your immediate grasp, but not so far
that there is no hope of achieving them. No one will put serious effort
into achieving a goal that they believe is unrealistic. However, remember
that your belief that a goal is unrealistic may be incorrect. If this could
be the case, you can to change this belief by using imagery effectively.

How do you identify the strength and weakness of your

company?

Basically this company do SWOT Analysis

Understanding Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats

Why to use this tool?

SWOT Analysis is a very effective way of identifying your Strengths and

Weaknesses, and of examining the Opportunities and Threats you face.
Carrying out an analysis using the SWOT framework helps you to focus your
activities into areas where you are strong and where the greatest opportunities
lie.

How to use tool:

To carry out a SWOT Analysis write down answers to the following questions.
Where appropriate, use similar questions:

Strengths:

• What advantages do you have?

• What do you do well?
• What relevant resources do you have access to?

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 • What do other people see as your strengths?

Consider this from your own point of view and from the point of view of the
people you deal with. Don't be modest. Be realistic. If you are having any
difficulty with this, try writing down a list of your characteristics. Some of
these will hopefully be strengths!

In looking at your strengths, think about them in relation to your competitors -

for example, if all your competitors provide high quality products, then a high
quality production process is not a strength in the market, it is a necessity.

Weaknesses:

• What could you improve?

• What do you do badly?
• What should you avoid?

Again, consider this from an internal and external basis: Do other people seem
to perceive weaknesses that you do not see? Are your competitors doing any
better than you? It is best to be realistic now, and face any unpleasant truths as
soon as possible.

Opportunities:

• Where are the good opportunities facing you?

• What are the interesting trends you are aware of?

Useful opportunities can come from such things as:

• Changes in technology and markets on both a broad and narrow scale

• Changes in government policy related to your field
• Changes in social patterns, population profiles, lifestyle changes, etc.
• Local Events

A useful approach to looking at opportunities is to look at your strengths and

ask yourself whether these open up any opportunities. Alternatively, look at
your weaknesses and ask yourself whether you could open up opportunities by
eliminating them.

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Threats:

• What obstacles do you face?

• What is your competition doing?
• Are the required specifications for your job, products or services
changing?
• Is changing technology threatening your position?
• Do you have bad debt or cash-flow problems?
• Could any of your weaknesses seriously threaten your business?

Carrying out this analysis will often be illuminating - both in terms of pointing
out what needs to be done, and in putting problems into perspective.

You can also apply SWOT analysis to your competitors. This may produce
some interesting insights!

This will help you to focus on your strengths, minimize weaknesses, and take
the greatest possible advantage of opportunities available

What keys you use for effective public speaking and

presentation?

Always keeps this following points in mind while presenting your self:

• Keep the message clear

• Be prepared
• Keep the message simple
• Be vivid when delivering the message
• Be natural
• Keep the message concise

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Preparation is underrated. In fact, it is one of the most important factors in
determining your communication successes. When possible, set meeting times
and speaking and presentation times well in advance, thus allowing yourself
the time you need to prepare your communications. By paying close attention
to each of these stages and preparing accordingly, you ensure your
communications will be more effective and better understood.

Tips

How to prepare yourself before giving presentation:-

Ask yourself: Who? What? How? When? Where? Why?

Who are you speaking to? What are their interests, presuppositions and values?
What do they share in common with others; how are they unique?

What do you wish to communicate? One way of answering this question is to

ask yourself about the ‘success criteria’. How do you know if and when you
have successfully communicated what you have in mind?

How can you best convey your message? Language is important here, as are
the nonverbal cues discussed earlier. Choose your words and your nonverbal
cues with your audience in mind. Plan a beginning, middle and end. If time and
place allow, consider and prepare audio-visual aids.

When? Timing is important here. Develop a sense of timing, so that your

contributions are seen and heard as relevant to the issue or matter at hand.
There is a time to speak and a time to be silent. ‘It’s better to be silent than sing
a bad tune.’

Where? What is the physical context of the communication in mind? You may
have time to visit the room, for example, and rearrange the furniture. Check for
availability and visibility if you are using audio or visual aids.

59
 Why? In order to convert hearers into listeners, you need to know why they
should listen to you – and tell them if necessary. What disposes them to listen?
That implies that you know yourself why you are seeking to communicate –
the value or worth or interest of what you are going to say.

Be concise. Be brief. Use short words and sentences. Where appropriate,

support these with short, easy-to-understand examples, which help demonstrate
your message.

How do you solve the problem of employees in your

organization?

The method called:-

DO IT - A Simple Process for problem solving

How to use tool:

DO IT is an acronym that stands for:

D - Define problem

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O - Open mind and apply creative techniques

I - Identify best solution

T - Transform

These stages are explained in more detail below:

1. Define Problem
This section concentrates on analyzing the problem to ensure that the correct
question is being asked. The following steps will help you to do this:

• Check that you are tackling the problem, not the symptoms of the problem.
To do this, ask yourself why the problem exists repeatedly until you get to
the root of it.
• Lay out the bounds of the problem. Work out the objectives that you must
achieve and the constraints that you are operating under.
• Where a problem appears to be very large, break it down into smaller parts.
Keep on going until each part is achievable in its own right, or needs a
precisely defined area of research to be carried out.

2. Open Mind and Apply Creative Techniques

Once you know the problem that you want to solve, you are ready to start
generating possible solutions. It is very tempting just to accept the first good
idea that you come across. If you do this, you will miss many even better
solutions.

At this stage of DO IT we are not interested in evaluating ideas. Instead, we are

trying to generate as many different ideas as possible. Even bad ideas may be
the seeds of good ones.

Each tool has its particular strengths and benefits, depending on the problems
that you want to solve. While you are generating solutions, remember that
other people will have different perspectives on the problem, and it will almost
certainly be worth asking for the opinions of your colleagues as part of this
process.

3. Identify the Best Solution

Only at this stage do you select the best of the ideas you have generated. It may
be that the best idea is obvious. Alternatively, it may be worth examining and
developing a number of ideas in detail before you select one.

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When you are selecting a solution, keep in mind your own or your
organization’s goals. Often Decision Making becomes easy once you know
these.

4. Transform
Having identified the problem and created a solution to it, the final stage is to
implement this solution. This involves not only development of a reliable
product from your idea, but all the marketing and business side as well. This
may take a great deal of time and energy.

Many very creative people fail at this stage. They will have fun creating new
products and services that may be a year ahead of what is available on the
market. They will then fail to develop them, and watch someone else make a
fortune out of the idea several years later.

The first stage in transforming an idea is to develop an Action Plan for the
transformation. This may lead to creation of a Business or Marketing Plan.
Once you have done this, the work of implementation begins!

II method for problem solving process:-

How to use tool:

Simplex is an industrial-strength creativity tool. It takes the approach of

DO IT to the next level of sophistication.

Rather than seeing creativity as a single straight-line process, Simplex sees it

as the continuous cycle it should be. Completion and implementation of one
cycle of creativity leads straight into the next cycle of creative improvement.

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Simplex uses the following eight stages:

These are explained below:

1. Problem finding
Often finding the right problem to solve is the most difficult part of the creative
process. When using Simplex, actively seek problems out. Wherever they exist
you have opportunities for change and improvement.

Problems may be obvious, or can be flushed out using trigger questions like
the ones below:

• What would your customers want you to improve?

• What could they be doing better if we could help them?
• Who else could we help using our core competences?
• What small problems do we have which could grow into bigger ones?
• What slows our work or makes it more difficult? What do we often fail
to achieve?
• How can we improve quality?
• What are our competitors doing that we could do?
• What is frustrating and irritating?

These questions deal with problems that exist now. It is also useful to try to
look into the future. Think about how you expect markets and customers to

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change over the next few years; the problems you may experience as your
organization expands; and social, political and legal changes that may affect it.

At this stage you may not have enough information to formulate your problem
precisely. Do not worry about this until step 3!

2. Fact finding
The next stage is to find out as much information relating to the problem as
possible.

This gives you the depth of knowledge you need to:

• Use the best ideas your competitors have had

• Understand customers needs in more detail
• Know what has already been tried
• Fully understand any processes, components, services or technologies
that you may need to use
• Ensure that the benefits of solving the problem will be worth the effort
you will put into it

This stage also involves assessing the quality of the information that you
have. Here it is worth listing your assumptions and checking that they are
correct.

3. Problem definition
By the time you reach this stage, you should know roughly what the problem is
and should have a good understanding of the facts relating to it. From here the
thing to do is to crystallize the exact problem or problems you want to solve.

It is important to solve a problem at the right level. If you ask questions that are
too broad, then you will never have enough resources to answer them
effectively. If you ask questions that are too narrow, you may end up fixing
symptoms of a problem, rather than the problem itself.

4. Idea finding
The next stage is to generate as many ideas as possible. Ways of doing this
range from asking other people for their opinions. Do not evaluate ideas during
this stage. Instead, concentrate on generating many ideas as possible. Bad ideas
often trigger good ones.

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 5. Selection&Evaluation
Once you have a number of possible solutions to your problem, it is time to
select the best one. The best solution may be obvious. If it is not, then it is
important to think through the criteria you will use to select the best idea. Once
you have selected an idea, develop it as far as possible. It is then essential to
evaluate it to see if it is good enough to be considered worth using. It is
important not to let your ego get in the way of your common sense. If your idea
does not give big enough benefit, then either see if you can generate more
ideas, or restart the whole process. You can waste years of your life developing
creative ideas that no-one wants.

6. Planning
Once you have selected an idea, and are confident that your idea is worthwhile,
then it is time to plan its implementation.

The best way of doing this is to set this out as an Action Plan, which lays out
the who, what, when, where, why and how of making it work. For large
projects it may be worth using more formal planning techniques.

7. Sell Idea
Up to this stage you may have done all this work on your own or with a small
committee. Now you will have to sell the idea to the people who must support
it. This might be your boss, a bank manager or other people involved with the
project. In selling the project you will have to address not only the practicality
of the project, but also things such internal politics, hidden fear of change, etc.

8. Action
Finally, after all the creativity and preparation, comes action! This is where all
the careful work and planning pays off. Once the action is firmly under way,
return to stage 1, Problem Finding, to continue improving your idea.

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 How to increase retention of written information?
SQ3R - Increasing Your Retention of Written Information

How to Use Tool:

SQ3R is a useful technique for fully absorbing written information. It helps to

create a good mental framework of a subject, into which you can fit facts
correctly. It helps to set study goals. By using SQ3R to actively read a
document, you can get the maximum benefit from your reading time.

The acronym SQ3R stands for the five sequential techniques you should use to
read a book:

• Survey:
Survey the document: scan the contents, introduction, chapter
introductions and chapter summaries to pick up a shallow overview of
the text. Form an opinion of whether it will be of any help. If it does not
give you the information you want, discard it.

• Question:
Make a note of any questions on the subject that come to mind, or
particularly interest you following your survey. Perhaps scan the
document again to see if any stand out. These questions can be
considered almost as study goals - understanding the answers can help
you to structure the information in your own mind.

• Read:
Now read the document. Read through useful sections in detail, taking
care to understand all the points that are relevant. In the case of some
texts this reading may be very slow. This will particularly be the case if
there is a lot of dense and complicated information.

• Recall:
Once you have read appropriate sections of the document, run through it

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 in your mind several times. Isolate the core facts or the essential
processes behind the subject, and then see how other information fits
around them.

• Review:
Once you have run through the exercise of recalling the information, you
can move on to the stage of reviewing it. This review can be by
rereading the document, by expanding your notes, or by discussing the
material with colleagues. A particularly effective method of reviewing
information is to have to teach it to someone else!

Key points:
SQ3R is a useful technique for extracting the maximum amount of benefit
from your reading time. It helps you to organize the structure
of a subject in your mind. It also helps you to set study goals and to
separate important information from irrelevant data. If you use SQ3R;
you will significantly improve the quality of your study time.

How to remember people’s Names?

Follows 2 things given below to remember people’s names :-

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1. Face association
Examine a person's face discretely when you are introduced. Try to find an
unusual feature, whether ears, hairline, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth,
chin, complexion, etc.

Create an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in
mind. The association may be to link the person with someone else you know
with the same name. Alternatively it may be to associate a rhyme or image of
the name with the person's face or defining feature.

2. Repetition
when you are introduced, ask for the person to repeat their name. Use the name
yourself as often as possible (without overdoing it!). If it is unusual, ask how it
is spelled or where it is comes from, and if appropriate, exchange cards. Keep
in mind that the more often you hear and see the name, the more likely it is to
sink

How to develop self confidence?

People with high self esteem behave confidently. Low self esteem stops all
your efforts to be confident.

Confidence matters in:

o relationships
o work
o parenting
o life skills - decision making, achieving, improving situations or
circumstances you don't like
o expressing yourself
o taking up new challenges
o being open to change
o self improvement

Where does it come from?

It comes from several sources:

o from within yourself

o from others
o from your achievements

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Here are some tips which Mr. Gaikwad follows in his life:-

1. Recognize that no one knows everything. Regardless of how harshly

someone may criticize your errors, rest assured they've made plenty
themselves. You can probably remember a few if you try to.

2. Experiment with presenting ideas about which you are less than 100%
confident. See what happens when you express something about which you're
only 95% confident. Give yourself a chance to learn that you can be successful
without being 100% certain.

3. Have faith in your ability to perform. The success you've achieved thus far is
not an accident. You wouldn't be where you are unless you were competent and
knowledgeable.

4. Be willing to learn on the job. Successful people do this all the time. Seek
input from people unlikely to evaluate you. Remember, we always learn more
from failure than from success.

5. Act with confidence even when you're not completely certain.

DON'T:
*Apologize or ask for permission to speak. Begin with statements such as
"You probably thought of this before but..." or " I'm sorry to bother you but..."
* Hesitate, repeat yourself, or embroider your statements.

DO:
* Speak in a convincing, unconditional, authoritative manner.
* Be decisive and to the point, make your statements strong and powerful.
* Claim authorship of your ideas by saying, "This is what I've come up with"
or "I did the research and found..."
* Project your voice.

6. The more you stretch yourself and succeed, the more confident you'll feel.
Think of risk-taking as a necessary part of your professional training.

7. Remember what you stand to gain from taking a risk:

* Your work will not just be excellent but may also be recognized.
* You'll have the chance to receive credit for your accomplishments.

69
* You'll increase your visibility and therefore your chances of getting good
assignments and projects.
* You'll probably feel more confident than you did before.

Remember what you stand to lose from NOT taking a risk:

* You may be right but no one will know it.
* Your work may go unnoticed or you may not receive credit for it.
* No one will know you're there.
* Perhaps worst of all - you may be accused of not having the "necessary
confidence."

8. Look for a model (someone who is confident) and learn from them. What is
it they do that makes them confident, how do they act?

9. Focus on your achievements and even if you failed try to work out what you
did right and how you could succeed next time

10. Act as if you were confident!

11. Prepare thoroughly for any task so that you can be sure you are ready

12. Work on any skills you need to do what you want, you can never be over
trained or over skilled for any challenge in life.

13. Learn relaxation skills

14. Always smile

15. Set reachable goals for yourself

16. Reward yourself when you succeed

(13) How do you develop self esteem?

Self esteem is related to your self worth and your value. Building self esteem is
a first step towards your happiness and a better life.

Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect
yourself. If you respect yourself you can respect others, improve your
relationships, your achievements and your happiness....

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Low self esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity and poor
confidence. Other's desires may take preference over yours. Inner criticism,
that nagging voice of disapproval inside you, causes you to stumble at every
challenge and challenges seem impossible.

Tips

1. Face your fears - they aren't as bad as you think they are. Facing your fears
increases your confidence.

2. Forget your failures - learn from them. Avoid making the same mistakes
again but don't limit yourself by assuming you failed before so you can't
succeed this time. Try again, you're wiser and stronger. Don't be trapped in the
past!

3. Know what you want and ask for it. You deserve your dreams to come
true.

4. Reward yourself when you succeed. No-one else will! Isn't everything
easier when you take time to help yourself?

5. Talk - We often make assumptions about a situation or person which are not
true. Your attitude and behaviour can be negatively affected so if you have any
doubt or question ask and don't assume you know why or how.

6. Don't be defeated! Try something else. You are not going to be defeated by
one failed attempt are you? Doesn't everyone fail before they succeed? All you
need is a different approach.

7.Feel Good when you want!

When you need to boost your self esteem, find 3 things that make you feel
good. These could be memories of good times, a piece of music, a holiday
souvenir, or a person's face - use photos if it helps. Practice thinking about
them and bringing them to mind.

Developing self confidence that lasts - because of the way emotions 'attach'
themselves to memories, you will quickly train yourself to feel good when you
want - a great help.

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 How do you develop self Image?
Self Image - What is it?

Self image is how you see yourself in relation to others. This may be how you
see yourself physically or it may be more about the idea you have of yourself
which could also be called self concept. It is very important as it affects your
self esteem and confidence.

Self image includes:

 What you think you look like physically

 How your personality comes across
 What kind of person you think you are
 What you think others think of you
 How much you like yourself or you think others like you

Connection to Self Esteem

If you have poor self opinion your self esteem will be poor. How exactly are
they different? Self Esteem focuses on how you feel about yourself. Image is
about how you see yourself. They are, as you can see, quite close.

Relationships

Image is to do with how people perceive you and this will affect how they
relate to you. It will affect your relationships either positively or negatively.

You may believe how you see yourself is how others see you. This cannot be
true. Your view of yourself is shaped by your unique thoughts and beliefs and
you will have a distorted view. You will see yourself in a positive or negative
way and both will be biased. You may have a negative view of yourself and if
so you are probably highly critical of yourself.

How to Improve your Self Image

o List things you like about yourself - include appearance, personality and
skills
o Change negative thoughts to positive thoughts by focusing on the
positive ones and trying to forget the negative things that happen to you
o Take up an exercise program - you will feel better and look better!

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 o Remember good things people have said about you and note them down
if you want
o Question whether your view of yourself is accurate examine why you
see yourself like you do
o Make any changes you think would help you for example clothes,
appearance, hair style, behaviour in certain situations
o Accept things about yourself that are true and learn to think about them
in a positive way
o Take yourself less seriously and lighten up!
o Accept criticism in a constructive way so you can improve and develop
o Don't be limited by your internal image, step outside of it and break free,
it doesn't have to control you or keep you down. Acting differently will
change how others see you and will also help to change your own
attitude towards yourself and your abilities

Do you believe that Self-Image affects our Self Esteem?

Body image affects how you feel about yourself. It's an important factor in self
esteem for women, men, adolescents and children. The modern world
glorifies the perfect body and if you're a woman it's difficult to be positive
if you believe you are fat, ugly, too tall etc.

 Image and women

Self esteem in women these days seems dependant on how they think they look

Image - I'm fat, short, skinny - these are opinions you hold and maybe not true.
However, I know people who are fat and happy and others who are slim and
unhappy.

Guess what? Some men like large, some small, some thin and some tall. You
don't have to be thin to be attractive! Someone will like your appearance and
if you have a good feeling about yourself even better!

Your body is unique, enjoy it and love it. Focus on your good points. If
someone likes you they will see the good and not the bad. Make yourself
worthy of love and like yourself first.

 Image and men

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Poor image of your body can cause you to have very low self esteem and self
confidence.

Men worry about how tall, strong or big they are. The worst thing for men is
probably being short. They believe the tall, dark, handsome myth. Most men
will suffer low self esteem if they think they are short or too thin. Like women
these men can become obsessed.

 Image and adolescents

Adolescents worry how they compare and appear to their friends and others.
Image and physical appearance are highly important! Teenagers want to look
like the stars and pop idols they see on TV. These stars are not average
looking people. Adolescents fall into the trap of believing that if they are not
like these wonderfully attractive stars they are not worth anything.

 Raise your self esteem

o Focus on the parts of your body you like

o Dress to emphasis what you have and look good
o Stop comparing yourself to others
o Start an exercise program
o Eat healthy food and stay away from diets
o Play sports as often as you can
o Walk as much as you can
o Don't smoke at all or drink too much
o Write down compliments you receive about how you look
o Straighten up, smile and look straight ahead - you'll look and feel more
confident
o Challenge positively and surprise yourself!

How to delegate in effective manner?

What to Delegate

• Don't delegate what you can eliminate. If you shouldn't be doing an

activity, then perhaps you shouldn't be giving the activity away to others.
Eliminate it.

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 • Delegate routine activities, even though you don't want to:
o Fact-finding assignments
o Preparation of rough drafts of reports
o Problem analysis and suggested actions
o Collection of data for reports
o Photocopying, printing, collating
o Data entry
• Delegate things that aren't part of your core competency. For small
businesses, these include accounting, web site design, deliveries,
hardware upkeep, software help, graphic design, travel arrangements,
patenting, legal issues and even HR functions such as payroll.
• Some things you can't delegate: performance reviews, discipline, and
firing.
• Create a plan to delegate. Don't give out assignments haphazardly.
• Invest short term time in training to gain a long term increase in
productivity.
• Others may end up doing a better job than you can or finding new ways
to complete a task.

Delegation Instructions

Make sure the standards and the outcome are clear. What needs to be done,
when should it be finished and to what degree of quality or detail?

• Delegate the objective, not the procedure. Outline the desired results, not
the methodology.
• Ask people to provide progress reports. Set interim deadlines to see how
things are going.
• Delegate to the right person. Don't always give tasks to the strongest,
most experienced or first available person.
• Spread delegation around and give people new experiences as part of
their training.
• Obtain feedback from employees to ensure they feel they're being treated
appropriately. A simple "How's it going with that new project?" might be
all that's needed.
• Be sure to delegate the authority along with the responsibility. Don't
make people come back to you for too many minor approvals.
• Trust people to do well and don't look over their shoulders or check up
with them along the way, unless they ask.

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 • Be prepared to trade short term errors for long term results.
• When you finish giving instructions, the last thing to ask is, "What else
do you need to get started?" They'll tell you.
• Give praise and feedback at the end of the project, and additional
responsibilities.

How do you Deal with Telemarketers?

The following points while dealing with telemarketers:-

o Would you like to avoid telemarketing calls while you’re having dinner?
Simple. Don’t answer the phone at dinner time. If it’s someone
important, they’ll leave a message or call back.
o Auto dialers automatically dial your number from a database. Once you
answer the phone, the call is connected to an operator, and information
about you (e.g. your name) pops up on his or her screen. This connection
results in a short delay, often a second or two after you answer. Because
of this, the operator doesn’t hear your first response. When you say
“hello” and no one responds, this is a good indication that an auto dialer
has dialed you.
o To avoid telemarketing calls, be careful about giving out your name and
number; don’t sign up for contests, don’t always send in warranty cards,
and watch for opt in / opt out features on web sites where you are asked
to register. Marketing companies use these techniques to build call lists.
o Don’t always say “yes” just to please people. Take control of your life
and just say no.

When dealing with telemarketers

• If you are interested in an offer, ask telemarketers for their company's

name and address and a clear explanation of the offer they are making.
• Ask about the company's refund policies.
• Consider asking the caller to send you written material to study before
you make a purchase.
• Don't ever pay for any prize or send any money to improve your chances
of winning. It's illegal to make you pay to enter most contests.

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• Beware of “free” offers. You may end up having to pay for numerous
additional charges such as taxes, handling and shipping that make the
deal much less attractive than it seems. Remember the cardinal rule; if it
seems too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your gut and say no.
• Never give out your bank account number. Crafty scam artists can use it
to withdraw money from your account without your permission.
Sometimes they may sound like bank inspectors or the police, doing a
fraud investigation and asking for your help. Investigations are never
done this way.
• Be cautious about giving your credit card number over the phone, unless
you know the organization well. If you have doubts, call them back,
asking for their customer service manager or the public relations
department. If they can’t give you a number, or if you’re not satisfied
with the response you get, say no.

How to get cooperation from other department?

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Other departments may appear to slow you down. In dealing with them,
begin with an assumption that they are as competent as you are. Everyone

• Is doing his or her best, and everyone is busy. Remember that ultimately,
you're all on the same team. Your positive attitude will get better results
than antagonism. Treat them as you would like to be treated.

• Handle your special requests of other departments as you would handle a

task that you would delegate:
1. Clarify the task to be done and the standards to be met.
2. Establish a timetable.
3. Ask if there is anything else that the person needs to complete the
task.
4. Confirm the commitment that they made (don't make it for them).

• If others let you down; be careful not to react with one of two opposite
emotions; aggression and passivity. Aggression is fighting back, yelling,
name calling, threatening to go to a higher authority, becoming impatient
and being forceful. Passivity is giving in, ignoring an issue,
procrastinating, apologizing or running away.

• Be assertive instead. Use the person's name. Say please and thank you.
Ask, don't tell.

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• Be straightforward with your request. "Our department needs this
delivered to us by tomorrow." Adding an explanation helps to validate
the request. Then ask if there's anything else they need, or anything you
can do to help the process. Clarify the agreement made.

• If the person objects, repeat the request, stating it slightly differently

each time. "Jillian, I'd like to get a copy of that report by tomorrow." She
answers that she's too busy. "I can understand how you've got a big
workload. (Avoid the dreaded "but") I do need the report finished by
tomorrow so can we find a way to complete it somehow?"

• Ask "Would it be helpful if I…" Sometimes they can do a better job if

you help first. Your offer also displays genuine empathy.

• Use the phrase, "What would have to happen..." For instance, "I
understand most of the staff has left for the day, but what would have to
happen for this to be finished by tomorrow morning?" Sometimes the
person might suggest a solution that you can help achieve: "Well I'd have
to send it over in a taxi and we're not allowed to do that." Maybe they
can't authorize a taxi, but you can.

• Don't appeal to a higher authority. If you say "I need this done, and I can
get my boss to speed things up if I have to," you may not be successful.
Instead, build a relationship. Take an interest in things that are important
to them.

• If problems persist, keep a log of transactions. Include the date you sent
something to another department and the date you got it back. Use this to
support process improvement, not to blame someone.

• Create routines for standard requests from other departments that are
repeated. For instance, automate your expense report. This isn't
bureaucracy, it's efficiency.

• On the other hand, remove routines that were created for occasional
exceptions that no longer occur. Old routines may be slowing other
departments down.

• Ask what the holdups are. Convene a meeting to outline your concerns.
The other department might identify blocks that can be removed.

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 How do you handle paperwork?

It is very hectic work but though he has given me some points:

• Never handle a piece of paper more than once. Avoid the "I'll just put
this here for now" habit.
• For items that will reach you, ask your assistant to a) sort it according to
urgency, b) highlight important aspects, such as magazine articles and c)
attach relevant files or information.
• Ask subordinates to submit recommendations along with important
reports. Nothing should be sent to you without a summary or indicated
action.
• Limit the length of letters, recommendations, responses, meeting
requests and other correspondence to one page.
• Ask people if reports they prepare (or you prepare) are really necessary.
Prepare them only when needed, not as a regular routine.
• Don't keep copies of all your requests to others, unless there are legal or
personnel reasons to do so.
• Do something with every piece of paper that reaches you and put it in its
proper place not just back on the pile.
• Cut back on sending memos. Use a phone call instead.
• Reduce the number of memos you keep. After all, memos are primarily
for short-term information. Record the information you need and toss the
memo.
• Don't keep business cards tucked away in a drawer. Enter them on a
contact manager database, and then throw out the card.
• Create different file folders:
• Throw out last month's copy of a magazine when this month's copy
arrives. If you must save them, only keep a year's worth. Stop
subscriptions to magazines and newspapers you don't read anymore.
This saves you money as well as time and guilt.
• When you find items you keep putting off reading, ask "How likely am I
to read this and how valuable is this information?" Throw it out.
• Extra storage space ends up getting filled up quickly. Try reducing or
throwing out extra paperwork collectors. Limit your stacking trays to
two: one for incoming papers and the other for outgoing papers.

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 • Reduce your credit cards to one per adult, two if you use one for home
and one for work. This reduces statements and bill-paying time.
• Reduce your bank accounts, if you have several. If you find yourself
dealing with multiple bank statements every month, this is a good place
to start.
• Pay bills by automatic deduction. Most utility bills can be handled this
way.
• Put all your receipts in a small envelope. Sort through them every month
or every quarter.

In which manner you plan your day?

Here are some tips which Mr.Gaikwad follows in his daily routine :-

• Visualize your long term picture of success and put it in writing. Review
your goal frequently. Your goal should be specific, measurable, achievable
and compatible with where you are now. There should be an end date as
well.
• Try to do your planning at the same time every day. Use this time to review
past accomplishments as well as future things to do.
• Use only one planner to keep track of your appointments. Keeping a
separate business and personal planner creates confusion.
• Write out a To Do list every day. Include items that can be completed, such
as "Prepare exhibits for monthly report", rather than just "Work on report."
• Separate your To Do list into A, B and C priorities. "A" items are important
to your long term success, "B" may be urgent but not as important and "C"
are those that would be nice to do if you get the time.
• Start with the A items. Don't work on a C just because it's easy to do. Also,
break your A items into small manageable chunks, so they're easy to
accomplish.
• Check off items as you complete them to give yourself a sense of
accomplishment.
• Block off time in your planner for major activities. This might include a
block of time for working alone on major tasks. If someone wants to meet
you during that time, say "I'm sorry, I already have an appointment."
• Don't jam your day full of activities. Leave time for emergencies, special
opportunities and thinking time.
• Be your own manager. Ask yourself if you have met your goals, and what
changes you plan to make to achieve them.

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• Do it now. People will often say "Call me next week, and we'll book an
appointment then." Respond by saying, "Let's save ourselves a call and do it
now."
• Always plan time for balance; include family, fitness, recreation, social and
spiritual activities.
• Conduct a time study to see how you're doing and where the opportunities
for improvement lie. Many people are only able to spend one quarter of
their time on top priority activities. Moving this up to one third of the week
means almost 4 more hours per week on key activities.

Do you do any preparation before meeting?

Yes, there is lot of work to be then before conducting meeting:-

• Invite those people who are applicable to attend meeting, and

accordingly prepare list for invitation.
• Make a formal invitation, usually in person or by telephone at least two
weeks in advance.
• Send a follow-up confirmation note and agenda after attendance has
been confirmed.
• Try for a reminder. Have an assistant call to remind attendees about the
meeting, or mention it to them yourself, in conversation.
• As the chairman, preparing an agenda in advance helps you to;

• Determine what items you want to cover;

• Communicate to participants what is to be considered and what is
expected of them;
• Create order and control at the meeting;
• Establish standards by which the success of the meeting can be
measured.

• Circulate your agenda in advance. If you can't, write it on a flip

chart or white board before participants arrive. The agenda should
include:

• The purpose of the meeting, stated in one succinct sentence;

e.g. "To review and agree details of the annual budget";

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 • The start time and finish time;
• Meeting location, including street address, floor, room number
and map if necessary;
• A list of who will be attending, and their titles;
• Individual items to be covered, and action items on each

• Put simple announcements at the beginning of the meeting, to warm

up the group.
• Start and finish the meeting with positive items.
• If someone else is preparing the agenda, approach them beforehand
to make sure your items are on the list for discussion.

Is there any tips to prevent interruptions?

• Prevent interruptions from walk-in visitors by isolating yourself.
Close your door. Put up a sign. Work in a conference room. If you
work in an office, take a day to work on important projects at home
if necessary.
• If you have an assistant, establish clear guidelines as to what kinds
of interruptions are appropriate, so they can screen visitors. The
assistant should have the authority to schedule a subsequent
meeting, or divert the inquiry to someone else.
• Block off your time for priorities. Handle larger, important projects
early in the morning, before you read your e-mail and before
interruptions are likely to occur. Schedule a quiet hour to create
essential private time.
• Change the layout of your desk so that you're not facing traffic.
Otherwise, you encourage interruptions.

When They Walk In

• When someone asks for a few minutes of your time, respond with
"Sure, how about if I come by your office at 2 o'clock this
afternoon?" This gives you more control.

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 • Stop people from telling stories. Interrupt them and say, "Can you
summarize how I can help you in one sentence?" If they ramble on,
say "OK, so how can you sum up what you need from me?"
• If they're asking for help, ask them what solution they propose? This
will save your time!
• Agree to help them with their request, but schedule a specific time
to do it
• Invent a meeting that you have to go to. Confess that you promised
to call someone back about a confidential matter at exactly this time.
Go make some photocopies. This will bring a meandering
discussion to an end.
• Set a time limit. Then check the time in an obvious way, and make
sure to announce the end of the allotted time when it occurs.
• Be careful that your tactics aren't counter productive to the
organization. What may benefit you as an individual may be
detrimental to the team. Isolating yourself might frustrate others, or
cause them to waste their own time because you weren't available
for help.

How do you “Say No” in effective manner?

According to him it is very tactful job, because while saying no you should
have some strong reason. Here he has given some points which we can
follow while saying no:-

• We say "yes” to others because we want to please them. But when

eventually we can't continue, we let them down and we feel guilty. Both
parties suffer. Recognize that a desire to please often prevents us from
saying no.
• Make sure you understand exactly what is being asked of you before you
respond. Perhaps the task is more time consuming than you thought. On
the other hand, it may not take much effort at all.
• Excel at just a few things, rather than being just average at many. Don't
try to do everything.

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 • You have a right to say no. Remember that others may take you for
granted and even lose respect for you if you don't.
• Be polite, but firm in saying no. You only build false hopes with wishy-
washy responses. For instance, the phrase "I'll try to be there" in
response to a party invitation is giving yourself an excuse to avoid a
commitment. It doesn't do anyone any favors.

• When a superior asks you to do a new urgent task;

• Remind her that you are working on other projects that she has
already identified as top priorities
• Point out that you might be able to do everything, but not to the
usual high standards that are expected.

• Some experts recommend keeping your answer short. This way, you can
say no without feeling the need for a lengthy justification. ("I'm sorry,
I'm not available that night.") On the other hand, others say that giving a
longer answer with reasons reinforces your credibility. Let the situation
decide.

• Provide suggestions or alternatives to the person who is asking. ("I can't

do that task today, but how about next week," or "How about asking
John instead?")
• Put a tough condition on your agreement. "If it would only take an hour,
I'd be able to help, but I can't give you more than that."

Is there any method to simplify our life?

According to Mr.Gaikwad there are various ways you can apply to
simplify your life:-

• Think about your values and write down those that really matter to you.
What is most important? Spending time with family? Accumulating
great wealth? Achieving powerful influence? Acquiring possessions?
Expressing yourself? Learning new ideas? Experiencing adventure and
travel? Maintaining excellent health? Socializing with friends?
Contributing to the community? You can't do them all. Cut out activities
that aren't consistent with your core values.

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• Write a list of goals you'd like to achieve. Focus on doing a few really
well, rather than a lot in a mediocre way. You can't add hours to the day,
but you can cut down on activities.
• Say no instead of yes. People agree to requests from others because they
like to please them. Instead, realize that you have a right to say no.
Creating plans or policies makes saying no easier. ("I'm sorry; I already
have a financial planner." "I'm sorry; we already have a plan for giving
to charities.")
• Give away clerical tasks to others who can handle non-priority activities.
• Stop spending time to save money. Instead, spend money to save time.
Don't drive across town to save a few cents on a grocery item. It's not
worth your time.
• Cancel subscriptions to magazines you never get around to reading. Only
read one newspaper per day.
• Cut back on television time. Only watch those shows you decide on
beforehand. Circle them in the television-listing magazine. Then turn off
the television when the program is over. Cancel extra cable television
packages for channels you rarely watch
• Clean out your basement or your office. If you're not using something,
get rid of it. Put an expiry date on items when you can't decide to keep
them or not. Get rid of them when the expiry date arrives.
• Automate repetitive, clerical, mechanical tasks. For instance, set up
automatic bill payments. Include your automatic savings plan as part of
your monthly spending.
• Make a plan for the weekend that doesn't involve work. Plan to spend
more time with your family or with people who make positive
contributions to your life. Stop spending time with people who are a
drain on your energy or vitality.
• Carry a smaller wallet or purse. Start by cleaning out the one you've got.
Get rid of unnecessary credit cards and other clutter that you don't use
regularly.
• Make time for yourself. Set aside time each day to reflect quietly, go for
a walk, plan for your future or meditate. Visit the park instead of the
mall.
• Cut back on debt. Consolidate your different debts into one and pay it
off. Put your credit cards in a spot where you won't be able to use them
until you're debt-free. Track your expenses for a month, then cut back
your spending on items you don't need. For instance, pack a lunch rather

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 than buying one at work. Mix and match your outfits rather than
constantly buying new ones.

How to Stop Procrastinating?

• Recognize that procrastination stems from habit. New habits will be
needed, and these take time and commitment to develop.
• Understand the cause for procrastination, then develop strategies to fix
it.
• Recognize the difference between an appropriate decision to delay, and
an irrational postponement without justification.
• Fix procrastination by working on a) tasks and b) your environment:

TASK STRATEGIES

Unpleasant tasks

• Unpleasant tasks rarely turn out to be as bad as you think.

• Complete these tasks first. Schedule them for early in the day. Give
yourself a reward for doing them.

Complex Projects

• Something looms ahead of you: starting a small business, getting a job,

preparing the annual budget. The job is too big or will take too long to
do now, so you put it off.
• Break large jobs into smaller, more manageable tasks. Plan and complete
a start-up task, no matter how small.

Indecision

• People delay because they can't make up their minds.

• Determine a time for making a decision and the criteria for making it.
Share your deadline with someone else.

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Fear of failure (lack of self confidence)

• People don't want to face the consequences of failure, so they delay.

(Some people suffer from fear of success too!)
• Develop a clear mental picture of the completed task and how you will
feel at that time. Maintain a focus on the end result, not just the process.
Remind yourself how good you'll feel when you're finished.

Lack of interest

• You are tired or lazy. You're just not very interested in the task.
• Reward yourself for accomplishments. Go out for special lunches when
major projects are completed. If you don't earn the reward, don't take it.
• Schedule the task for when you will be at your peak.

Perfectionism

• People delay because they want to get the project perfect.

• Set deadlines for yourself. Tell other people your deadlines and
encourage them to check up on you.
• Maintain your high standards, but recognize that sometimes 80% for you
may well be 100% for someone else. Don't spend hours conducting a
detailed cost breakdown when a rough estimate would suffice.

Hostility towards a boss

• People delay because they don't like the person who assigned the task.
• Review with your boss what exactly is needed. Clarify the expectations.
• Make a game out of unpleasant tasks. Give yourself points, or do a
running commentary on yourself as you do the task.

Distraction, lack of focus

• Sometimes losing concentration causes delays.

• Create a to-do list with priorities.
• Block your time for projects.
• As you get distracted from a work project, make a rule that you are not
allowed to move out of your chair, make a call, surf the net, pick up a
book etc. until you return to your task.
• Complete something. Make a very small task for yourself and finish it.
Very small. Then, make another one.

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ENVIRONMENT STRATEGIES

• Tailor your environment for work. Close your door, clean up the clutter
on your desk.
• Remove distractions such as water coolers, snacks, in-boxes, coffee
machines and magazine racks.
• If you work at home, treat your office as an office. Don't go out to lunch
before lunchtime or watch television before the end of the day.
• Tell your family that you are not to be disturbed in your home office.

How to Use E-mail Effectively?

• Block off times to process your e-mail. Twice per day should be enough.
Avoid the temptation to check e-mail more frequently.
• Check the spelling of your e-mail before sending it. Spelling errors seem
generally accepted in e-mail. But go beyond acceptable. Aim for
excellence.
• DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS. This is perceived as shouting.
• Re-read your e-mail before sending it. Writing quickly often results in
awkward grammar.
• Don't copy documents from other programs, such as MS Word. Odd
characters such as apostrophes can show up as gibberish. Special
formatting will go wonky. Instead, send the original document as an
attachment.
• Use the edit and paste commands as you would in word processing. This
is helpful in repeating information or creating a type of form letter to be
sent to various participants.
• Just say no. If you're on a mailing list for which you have no interest,
reply by writing "unsubscribe" or "remove" in the comment box. Be
careful though. Sometimes mass-mailers use your response to confirm
that you have an address, and send you more stuff. Use a filter to prevent
mail with features that are repeated from being downloaded.

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• Use a stacking tray or file folder labeled "E-MAIL" to store paper items
associated with e-mail you plan to send. Then you can batch them more
efficiently.
• Place items in separate e-mail folders as you would with paper items.
Don't use your Inbox or Sent Mail as catchall holding tanks.
• Sort incoming e-mail by subject, key word, or author so you can process
related mail together.
• There is a convention to intersperse someone else's original message
with points of your own when you reply. Consequently, it takes a while
to figure out what is original and what is new. Avoid wasting people's
time. Create a proper response as you would a business letter. Instead of
leaving an entire message that you received intact, just make a reference
to it. They don't need to read everything they wrote when you respond to
them
• Consider carefully what you write; it's a permanent record and can be
easily forwarded to others. Never accuse people, call them names,
suggest they aren't being smart or criticize their spelling. Assume their
intentions are genuine. Avoid sarcasm. Be polite and assertive if
necessary (i.e. to spammers) but not vindictive.
• Don't attach large files without getting permission from your recipient
first.
• Write descriptive subject lines. Many busy people will only open
messages with captivating subject lines. Think creatively.
• If you must forward a message, put your comments at the top.
• Learn how to keep an address book to save e-mail addresses,
automatically insert them into a new message and maintain groups of
contacts.
• Use autoresponders to offer frequently requested information. These e-
mail bots will automatically respond to the sender with a prewritten
message. They are often used for brochures, price lists, directions, etc.
• Delete all unnecessary mail. Old messages congest servers. Delete old,
duplicate or reply version copies and free up space for new incoming
mail.
• Do not keep all of your messages in your mail box folder. Create new
mail folders with names that categorize your mail and move messages
into them. This way new mail is not only easier to find but quicker to
load (which is especially true when dialing in remotely).
• Delete messages with attachments after you have saved them to your
hard drive. They take up a lot of space on the server.

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 • When replying to a message, be sure you reply to just the person you
want. Be careful not to accidentally reply to an institute wide message.
• Be careful with punctuation. A lot of periods can separate thoughts.....
but use a lot of exclamation marks and it looks like you're angry!!!!!!!!!!
How does a line of question marks look ??????? You might not intend
strong emotion, but the other person might think you do.
• Use the blind carbon copy (bcc) feature for your own mailing lists. You
can send out periodic announcements to a list of people. By using the
bcc feature, recipients won't be able to copy other people's names and
addresses.
• Do not forward personal e-mail to a discussion group without the
author's permission.
• Don't attach files when posting to discussion groups. Refer participants
to a web site where they can find the information.
• Don't send entire web pages to a discussion group, just post the web
address.
• Don't blatantly promote your business by posting an advertisement to a
discussion group, unless it is clearly an accepted use and you have
cleared it with the moderator (if there is one) first. Otherwise, you are
"spamming." Offering information of value, rather than simply inviting
people to your web site.
• Avoid cyber-speak. Not everyone is familiar with the cute acronyms
used in E-mail correspondence, such as IMHO (in my humble opinion)
or FWIW (for what it's worth). Performing a mental translation each
time slows down the reader. Don't make reading difficult for them.

Can effective Listening ensures Success?

Whether it's our spouse, our children, or with a sales prospect or our boss, one
of life's great challenges is to listen well. Often, we are tempted to think about
our response rather than listen. Or, we believe we already know what the other
person is going to say, so we simply interrupt or wait impatiently for our turn.

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The following 10 "rules" can help.

1. Stop Talking! It is difficult to listen and speak at the same time.

2. Put the other person at ease. Give them space and time and "permission"
to speak their peace. How we look at them, how we stand or sit, makes a huge
difference. Relax, and let them relax as well.

3. Show the other person that you want to hear them. Look at them. Nod
when you can agree, ask them to explain further if you don't understand. Listen
to understand them and their words, rather than just for your turn.

4. Remove distractions. Good listening means being willing to turn off the
TV, close a door, or stop reading your mail. Give the speaker your full
attention, and let them know they are getting your full attention.

5. Empathize with the other person. Especially if they are telling you
something personal or painful, or something you intensely disagree with, take a
moment to stand in their shoes, to look at the situation from their point of view.

6. Be patient. Some people take longer to find the right word, to make a point
or clarify an issue. Give the speaker time to get it all out before you jump in
with your reply.

7. Watch your own emotions. If what they are saying creates an emotional
response in you, be extra careful to listen carefully, with attention to the intent
and full meaning of their words. When we are angry, frightened or upset, we
often miss critical parts of what is being said to us.

8. Be very slow to disagree, criticize or argue. Even if you disagree, let them
have their point of view. If you respond in a way that makes the other person
defensive, even if you "win" the argument, you may lose something far more
valuable!

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9. Ask lots of questions. Ask the speaker to clarify, to say more, give an
example, or explain further. It will help them speak more precisely and it will
help you hear and understand them more accurately.

10. STOP TALKING! This is both the first and the last point, because all
other tools depend on it. Nature gave us two ears and only one tongue, which is
a gentle hint that we should listen twice as much as we talk.

While going for an interview what important points we

should keep in mind …?

* Pay attention to time!

An interview for a job is seen as a very important appointment, and
showing up too late for your appointment is therefore absolutely
unacceptable. Missing the bus or getting stuck in a traffic jam are pretty
lame excuses. It's much better to arrive way too early than even a little
too late!

* Thefirst meeting
After you have announced yourself at the reception or to an employee of
the company, you will often be asked to take a seat. After a while
someone will come to lead you to the interview area. Do not jump up
immediately and offer this person a handshake. It's better to let the other
person takes the initiative. Shake hands firmly, but not too powerfully
and look straight at the other person. After this you will be introduced to
the (other) members of the application committee. During this

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introduction it is better to walk around the table to shake hands with the
committee members, instead of leaning over the table. With each
greeting look directly at the other person, and say your name. Except for
an internal application, don't assume that the other people know your
name.

* Choosing the right seat

After the initial introduction you will usually be directed to take a seat. If
you are left to choose a place yourself, choose a place from where you
can clearly see all the interview participants, and from where they can
also see you. If someone is sitting half behind you, and you can't really
see him, he may not get such a good impression of you because of this.

* Tune your body posture

During your job interview try to adopt a posture that shows interest but
still comes across as being relaxed. You can do this by sitting up straight
in your chair at the beginning of the interview, with your back against
the back of the chair. If you hang sideways in your chair, it might give
the impression that you are not that interested in the job. However,
sitting on the edge of your chair can come across as being a little tense
and might give the impression that you feel uncomfortable.

You can change your body posture a little during the interview. For
example, when someone says something it is good to turn a little with
your shoulders towards this person and to lean forward a little. This
shows an interest in what the other person is saying. You can emphasize
this by tilting your head a little. It is also important to pay attention to
the posture of your interview partners. In some cases you can achieve
mutual tuning by adopting the same posture as the other person.

* What to do with your hands?

Just the same as when you are giving a presentation, many people often
regard their hands as obstacles during a job interview rather than a useful
means of communication. That is why people often ask what to do with
their hands. In a difficult situation we are often inclined to fold our arms
across our body. This helps to give us a more secure feeling. During a
job interview it is better not to do this, because folding your arms can be
interpreted as a defensive move. It is better to let your hands lie loosely
on your lap or place them on the armrests of your chair. From these

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positions it's also easy to support your words with hand gestures.

* Movements: a dynamic interview?

Nodding your head while speaking is a good way of supporting your

words or adding meaning to them. Hand movements can also help to
liven up the interview. The fact that you dare to make movements with
your hands during an interview might indicate that you feel at ease
quickly. In most cases it is better not to make too many hand movements
at the start of the interview but add them slowly throughout the
interview. As regards this, pay attention to your interview partners as
well: if they use their hands a lot to make things clear, you can definitely
do this as well. When they don't make many movements, it is better if
you don't either. Just the same as with body posture, it is important to
tune your movements to those of the other person. Also pay attention to
inadvertent movements that you may make sometimes due to
nervousness. For example, shuffling with your feet or kicking against the
leg of a table can be very irritating for other people. Drumming with
your fingers or clicking with a pen also won't be a great contribution to
the interview.

* When should you look at whom?

During the job interview it is important to look at all the interview

partners to an equal extent. By looking directly at the other person we
are giving them a sign of trust. By looking directly at people we are also
in control of the conversation. Looking directly at somebody or looking
away actually serves as the dots and commas in our spoken sentences.
When one of the committee members explains something or poses a
question, keep looking at this person for as long as he or she is speaking.
This shows that you're listening. While he is speaking he may also look
at the other people, but every time he wants to emphasize something he
will look at you again. You can then nod to encourage him to continue
talking. At the end of his question, he will keep looking at you and then
tilt his head up a little to invite you to give an answer. When you answer
a question, you will look first at the person who posed the question, but
while you answer you should take turns looking at the other interview
partners as well. You should direct yourself again to the person who
posed the question when you want to emphasize something and at the
end of your answer.

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* Do not worry too much about tension

Knowledge of body language can help you improve the mutual tuning
during the interview. You can use this knowledge to hide your
nervousness a little, but actually this is something you shouldn't worry
about too much. Many applicants are nervous during an interview and of
course they would much prefer not to let this nervousness show.
However, it's not such a bad thing to be nervous. The committee
members will understand this. Your nervousness may even show that
you feel this job is important to you.

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 Techniques to measure Human skill

Test no.1
Measurement of sensation seeking Motive

The sensation seeking scale

For each of the below items, circle the choice, A or B the best describes your
likes or dislikes, or the way you feel.
1. A. I would like a job that requires a lot of traveling.
B. I would prefer a job in one location.

2 A. I am invigorated by a brisk, cold day.

B. I can’t wait to get indoors on a cold day.

3. A. I get bored seeing the same old faces.

B. I like the comfortable familiarity of everyday friends.

4. A. I would prefer living in an ideal society in which everyone is safe and

happy
B. I would have preferred living in the unsettled days of our history.

5. A. I sometimes like to do things that are little frightening.

B. A sensible person avoids activities that are dangerous.

6. A. I would not like to be hypnotized.

B. I would like to have the experience of being hypnotized.

7. A. The most imp. Goal of life is to live it to the fullest and experience as
much as possible.
B. The most imp. Goal of life is to find peace and happiness.

8. A. I would like to try parachute-jumping.

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 B. I would never want to try jumping out of a plane, with or without a
parachute.

9. A. I enter cold water gradually, giving myself time to get used to it.
B. I like to dive or jump right into the ocean or a cold pool.

10. A. When I go on vacation, I prefer who are emotionally expressive even if

they are
a bit unstable.
B. When I go on vacation, I prefer the change of camping out.

11. A. I prefer people who are emotionally expressive even if they are a bit
unstable.
B. I prefer people who are clam and even tempered.

12. A. A good painting should shock or jolt the senses.

B. A good painting should give one a feeling of peace and security.

13. A. People who ride motorcycle must have some kind of unconscious need
to hurt themselves.
B. I would like to drive or ride a motorcycle.

Direction of scoring the sensation seeking scale

Score 1 point for each of the following responses:

1A,2A,3A,4B,5A,6B,7A,8A,9B,10B,11A,12A,13B,

Interpretation.

o 1-3 very low SS scores.

o 4-5 Low SS scores
o 6-9 Average SS scores
o 10-11 High SS scores
o 12-13 Very high SS scores.

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TEST 2
How effective is your work group.

YES NO

The atmosphere is relaxed and comfortable. ---- ----

Group discussion is frequent, and it is usually ---- ----

Pertinent to the task at hand.

Group member understand what they are trying to accomplish. ---- ----

People listen to each other’s suggestion and ideas. ---- ----

Disagreements are tolerated, and an attempt is made to solve. ---- ----

There is general agreement on most courses of action taken. ---- ----

The group welcomes frank criticism from inside and outside sources. ---- ---

There is a well established, relaxed working relationship among the members. ---- ---

When the group welcomes takes action, clear assignments are made and accepted. ---- ---

There is a high degree of trust and confidence among the leader and subordinates. ---- ---

The group members strive hard to help the group achieve its goal. ---- ---

Group members feel confident in making decisions. ---- --

People are kept busy but not overloaded. ---- ---

The leader of the group is well suited for the job. ---- ----

Creativity is stimulated within the group. ---- ----

Suggestions and criticisms are offered and received with a helpful spirit. ---- ----

There is cooperation rather than a competitive relationship among group members. ---- ----

SCORING KEY: This test measures the relative effectiveness of a group to

which you belong .count the no. of times you answered “mostly yes”. The

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larger the number, the more productive and satisfied the group members should
be.

Test no3

MEASURING YOUR OWN SELF MONITIORING

INSTRUCTIONS: In an honest self –appraisal, mark each of the following

statement as true (T) or false (F), and then consult the scoring key.

I guess I put on a show to impress or entertain others.

In a group of people I am rarely the center of attention.

In different situation and with different people, I often

act like very different persons.

I would not change my opinions in order to please someone

or win their favor.

I have considered being an entertainer.

I have trouble changing my behaviour to suit different people

and different situations.

At a party I let others keep the jokes and stories going.

I feel a bit awkward in public and do not show up quite as well as I should.

I can look anyone in the eye and tell a lie with a straight face.

I may deceive people by being friendly when I really dislike them.

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SCORING KEY:
1.T,2.F,3.T,4.F,5.T,6.F,7.F,8.F,9.T,10.T

1-3 = Low self- monitoring

4-5 = Moderately low self- monitoring
6-7 = Moderately high self- monitoring
8-10 = High self- monitoring

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Test 4
HOW IMPORTANT IS SUCCESS TO YOU?

INSTRUCTIONS:
This questionnaire asks a series of questions concerning, how you feel
personally about several outcomes. For each item listed below, answer as
honestly as you can by circling the most appropriate number.

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 Strongly
Strongly
1 When something
good happens to me, I 1 2 3 4 5
often get the feeling
that it won’t last
2 I usually feel good
when i win an 5 4 3 2 1
argument.
3 I tell my friends when
I excel at something. 1 2 3 4 5
4 When my boss or
instructor praises my 1 2 3 4 5
work, I often feel
unworthy.
5 I like competitive
sports and games. 5 4 3 2 1
6 I have gotten this far
in school largely 1 2 3 4 5
through luck.
7 I like receiving praise
for a job well done. 5 4 3 2 1
8 I like to stay in the
background on group 1 2 3 4 5
projects.
9 When a project or job
is going well, I often 1 2 3 4 5
feel I will do
something to mess
things up.
10 I think I have a
“winning attitude ” in 5 4 3 2 1
my approach to new
assignments.
Disagree
Agree

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Scoring key: This exercise looks at your self – perception about success.

To score this test, add up your point total. If you received 10-22, you have a
fairly strong need for success; you like to win. If you scored 23-35, you have a
moderate need for success. If you scored 36-50, you tend to have a “fear of
success”. That is, feel unworthy about winning or uncomfortable with public
recognition of your accomplishments

Self Esteem Test

This self esteem test is extremely quick and simple, just answer TRUE or
FALSE to each question (if you cannot answer 100% TRUE then answer
FALSE - check below how to score):

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1. Other people are not better off or more fortunate than me

2. I accept myself as I am and am happy with myself

3. I enjoy socializing

4. I deserve love and respect

5. I feel valued and needed

6. I don't need others to tell me I have done a good job

7. Being myself is important

8. I make friends easily

9. I can accept criticism without feeling put down

10. I admit my mistakes openly

11. I never hide my true feelings

12. I always speak up for myself and put my views across

13. I am a happy, carefree person

14. I don't worry what others think of my views

15. I don't need others' approval to feel good

16. I don't feel guilty about doing or saying what I want

TEST SCORE: Total number of TRUE answers you gave, EACH ONE
POINT:

15-16 POINTS - YOU HAVE A HIGH LEVEL OF SELF ESTEEM.

12-14 POINTS - NOT BAD BUT ROOM FOR YOU TO IMPROVE

8-11 POINTS - LOW SELF ESTEEM - IT'S HOLDING YOU BACK

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BELOW 8 POINTS - YOUR ESTEEM IS DRASTICALLY LOW

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