Recovery

Road Week 6 Choice #6: The Relationship Choice

I evaluate all my relationships, offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me, and make amends for harm Ive done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others. An example of doing so harming others is like going out for coffee with someone youve had an affair with to make things right with them. This would harm your spouse. Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now God has reconciled you by Christs physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. Colossians 1:21-23 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 2 Corinthians 5:8-9 How to Make Amends (Amends are something done or paid for to cover a wrong or to say sorry and make right a wrong) 1) Make a list Make a list of the people wronged or harmed such as people youve borrowed from and never repaid or anyone you feel guilty about when you hear his/her name, or someone who rubs you the wrong way. 2) Consider the timing. If it is too fresh you need to wait. 3) Do it without expectations. Apologize, humble yourself, and get your attitude right 4) Make restitution wherever possible. Pay back if possible. Humility leads to strength not to weakness. It is the highest form of self-respect. How to Offer Forgiveness 1) Reveal your hurt. Stop trying to be the tough guy. Every relationship takes on risk. Those who often hurt you the most are the ones you love the most. 2) Release the offender. Dont wait until you FEEL like it. Many of us have to release a person more than once. You may forgive that person and start harboring feelings of contempt towards that person. In that situation you need to ask God to release those feelings again and again no matter how many times it takes. SO TOUGH TO DO SOMETIMES!

Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother and sister who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:21-22 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for Gods wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. Romans 12:17-19 3) Replace your hurt with Gods peace. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 Conclusion: Who are the people that you need to apologize to or forgive? Why should I forgive if Ive already written that person off? 1) We forgive because we are commanded to do so. 2) Resentment doesnt work. You are harboring these feelings lying awake at night while the person you resent doesnt know or doesnt care and is doing just fine. Its really mostly punishing you. 3) Because Jesus Christ forgave us. Youll never have to forgive anybody any more than God has forgiven you. Its easy to forget God forgave us, so we need to be forgiving of others.