SECOND INNINGS

ONE RAY OF HOPE This book depicts the state of mind of a retiree. What a vacuum he feels in his life after retirement? How important it is to define a purpose in the second innings? How Can we convert this emptiness into an opportunity? It Is the right time to enjoy doing things which we cherished to do. Satish jain 10/12/2013

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Singapore General Hospital, Singapore .Thanks to the team led by Dr.Ivon and Dr.Suki-chi for conducting successful surgery upon my Daughter- in law on 11th October, 2013, and removed tumour from her Brain.

Motivation

The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. Robert Frost". Jawaharlal Nehru had kept on his table the above mentioned stanza from the poem of Robert Frost".

SECOND INNINGS
ONE RAY OF HOPE

About the author: I am a 61 years old, retired public sector oil industry officer. Retirement is like a career menopause. It is believed that you are no more productive to the society. Therefore, I feel that, since, this society has given me a lot; it is time for me to payback. My mission is yet not complete and now I have decided to motivate the present day youth thru my writings and remind them that they are the only ray of hope to provide a panacea to the ailments of our country. This book is dedicated to Singapore General Hospital, Singapore .Thanks to the team led by Dr.Ivon and Dr.Suki-chi for conducting successful surgery upon my Daughter- in law on 11th October, 2013, and removed tumour from her Brain. SATISH JAIN Email id= jainscbpcl@gmail.com

Preview
MOTIVATION

PASSION

RETIREMENT

YOUTH

ONE RAY OF HOPE

Preview

Second Innings
ONE RAY OF HOPE
First thoughts of retirement Retirement is, generally speaking, like a career menopause as you are no more productive to the society. Desai was saying to himself Only 2 months are left. What is his plan after retirement? Where will he settle down? Metro cities are very expensive ---It is customary to say a few words in favour of the retiring employee, and wish him all the best for his future new life.Therefore; he had written a poem for Thapas farewell today and had planned to recite it on stage. He has never recited a poem that too a self made poem, straight away on the stage. It was a great task as the feelings of doing something for the first time in life were altogether full of excitement, nervousness and tension. Stage fright: He has read that a famous PM of Britain had fumbled during his maiden speech in Parliament and said I conceive----I conceive I conceive and forgot what to say next? Then the leader of opposition said Gentleman, you have conceived three times, but not delivered even once. After a to be or not to be battle in his mind Desai decided to recite his poem. Finally he raised his hand and requested the anchor that he also wished to say something. As he got up, His heart beat was rising and he was feeling nervous. His legs were shivering when he stood at the stage. Standing there, his throat got dried up. Having finished the recital, he came back to his seat, unmindful of the loud claps he was receiving. He was on cloud 9 and only became aware of his surroundings when chief guest said: the poem ought to be published in companys magazine. He was simply flattered.

What after retirement?

Oh, how complex is human nature...yearning the exact opposite of whats in hand. When there were work pressures in life, he looked with envy at people who retired; it promised riddance from the dreary and tiring office routine, with plenty of time at disposal to enjoy life. What constructive we can do after retirement? First of all, Are we ready and satisfied to play this second innings productively? Are we frustrated? Are we feeling this life has gone waste and there were a lot of things we could have done in this life if we are given a second chance? A Poet is Born Desai was wondering, from where this interest in poetry has cropped up. May be when less than 60 days were left, he felt relaxed that he is going away from corporate jungle or maybe his hidden talent of creativity came to the forefront. Transformation! Is it? From routine to creativity. Earlier he never thought of poetry, a poet is born at 60! Retirement does present new opportunities, Desai thought, as more exciting thoughts of what he can make of his second innings swirled in his head. Ridicule Now, Desai was writing poems and enjoying reciting them at many occasions. But some of his own colleagues were poking fun at his newly developed poetic taste. This is the biggest setback in our society that you are ridiculed for your every venture. Desai was hurt very badly and agitated on hearing some nuisance talks by a splinter group in office.

Slow moving Hawker: A bit irritated Desai rather adjusted himself to the timing of the Hawker. Gone are the days when we could have taken such actions to task or replaced the hawker for his delayed delivery. Despite all the liberalisation, competition and plethora of choices for the consumers, practically if we see, there is cartel everywhere. We cant change our maid servants or hawkers at our sweet will. They have got their own associations.

Romance in rains........ ............................and they kept on walking in the rain and returned getting wet all the way. Prasad, One of his neighbours of the society who saw them walking in the rains together, exclaimed sarcastically from his own balcony oh, so you are back to your honey moon days. Hindi film industry has Lovely scenes or songs brimming with implicit sensuality appeal to the pituitary gland and release such hormones which captivate the listener or viewer in such a fusion that leads him/her to ultimate bliss.

Why postpone our activities which we desire to do utmost? Most of us, especially in the service class, postpone our activities which we desire to do utmost, for the post retirement period. The reason is that all of us first want a reasonably fair security for our family. In this context I remember a dialogue from a Hindi Film ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA when the hero says that he wants to work hard and make lots of money so that he can enjoy after forty. Upon this the Heroine says who knows you will live after forty or not. Remembering moments Remember the day when your child went to school for the first time. I remember very vividly the day my wife and I left our only son at a boarding school. How will our little boy stay here independently and how he will manage his daily chores without the help of a doting mother were the big questions hovering in our minds. It is the moment that takes the test of our nerves. It is open to debate that whether one should listen to the heart or should take a decision with the brain. With all such feelings we were coming out of the rich green environment of the famous School of the country. These buildings have produced many great visionaries and authors. As we came out of the Gate of the esteemed school, there was a feeling of pride somewhere in our mind that our son will now study in this prestigious school, but our heart was heavy as we had left him in the boarding school.

Country is sick? Desai was feeling that the whole society is passing thru a phase of mental menopause. whether it is the law makers of the country who are trying to reverse the verdict of supreme court, whether it is thesadhu samaj of the country who are directly or indirectly defending the immoral activities of the self style God man, whether it is the political masters who are abetting the sand mafia and punishing the upright officer

Dhritrastra syndrome: Today the state is ruled by leaders who behave like the Dhritrastra of the epic Mahabharata who was a born blind and could visualize only the interests of Kauravas and to aggravate the matter further their advisers have become Gandhari who has put a cloth on her eyes so she cant see the truth.

Where is hope? Why there was spontaneous response in Anna Hazares rallies? The answer is: it is the same reason. We are looking out for a Messiah. Then where is the hope. The only hope is from the youth. They only can transform the society. But they want a leader; they want to be shown the path. They want someone who can channelize their youthful energy and lead them. They want a Gandhi, a self less person, a great organizer. Ray of hope I was sitting in the balcony sipping a cup of hot tea the sun had risen and the filtered morning sun rays emerging from the little gaps of towering society buildings began to fall on my face. Although a bit uncomfortable to bear direct rays on my face yet I found lot of energy in those rays. My wife told me to shift my chair to a bit shaded area but I told her that May be out of the numerous sun rays falling on my face, I can find one ray which is a ray of Hope.

Second Innings
ONE RAY OF HOPE
First thoughts of retirement Scene: 29th September, Thapas retirement: Thapa was given a farewell in office on his retirement. The program started on time and the anchor for the day was busy in conducting the farewell show, speaking generously about his work, attitude, and long association with the company. While all this was going on the stage, Desais thoughts jolted back to his own looming retirement after two months. Desai thought, after having worked for around 35 years in life, behind a desk, one is suddenly bereft of office work or service as it is called in India. It is like a career menopause as you are no more productive to the society. One bids goodbye to the colleagues who are encountered daily. There will be no more office hours, no compulsion to reach office by 9.00 am sharp. In another 2 months, Desai need not wake up with a morning alarm, no work pressures, no targets, no deadlines, no bosses, no subordinates, no head office, no audit, no pending files and no customer - everything would vanish from his radar. He was saying to himself Only 2 months are left. What is his plan after retirement? Where will he settle down? Metro cities are very expensive and with his post retirement pension he cannot afford to pay the exorbitant rental prices in Delhi these days. Shall he go to his home town, where he has a house to live in but none of the Metro city conveniences he and his wife have gotten used to? It is customary to say a few words in favour of the retiring employee, and wish him all the best for his future new life. Therefore, he had written a poem for Thapas farewell and had planned to recite it on stage. He has never recited a poem that too a self made poem, straight away on the stage. It was a great task as the feelings of doing something for the first time in life were altogether full of excitement, nervousness and tension. Desai was still contemplating what he was about to do. He was in two minds, he was pondering over the thought whether finally he will be able to recite the poem or drop the idea. He has read that one famous PM of BRITAIN had fumbled during his maiden speech and said I conceive----I conceive I conceive and forgot what to say next? Then the leader of opposition said

Gentleman, you have conceived three times, but not delivered even once. People who are not used to speak on stage do get a stage fright and feel hesitant. He thought and resolved again to go ahead on his aim he will recite his poem today. Finally he raised his hand and requested the anchor that he also wished to say something. As he got up, His heart beat was rising and he was feeling nervous. His legs were shivering when he stood at the stage. Standing there, his throat got dried up. Many great leaders have fumbled on the stage, he told himself. Situation is worse if you are going to speak extempore, your mind becomes blank for a moment, and you forget everything. At the stage, your voice becomes hoarse, the words start slipping from your mouth and you make pronunciation mistakes. With all the uncertainties in mind, he took out his diary in which he had written the poem. He started reciting the poem but his mind was not able to observe the reaction of the audience. Suddenly he got an idea, as the audience was all known to him, he started relating certain lines of the poem to the audience and this prompted the audience to be more involved and Desai less nervous. Having finished the recital, he came back to his seat, unmindful of the loud claps he was receiving. He was on cloud 9 and only became aware of his surroundings when chief guest said the poem ought to be published in office magazine. He was simply flattered. For the first time in his life, he had recited a poem, that too self made, at the age of 60 and it seemed to be a roaring success.

Retirement does bring a new phase in the life of individuals. It is something, he has often wished for multiple times in the years of work. But is he going to be happy with this? Oh, how complex is human nature...yearning the exact opposite of whats in hand. When there were work pressures in life, he looked with envy at people who retired; it promised riddance from the dreary and tiring office routine, with plenty of time at disposal to enjoy life. What happens to an individual when the age of retirement comes near? He starts thinking what he will do, where he will settle down. How he will make both ends meet with meagre pension. This gets even harder for people retiring from top positions who are used to some sort of VIP status in their companies by virtue of their designations. They have never done basic jobs in their life like depositing the electricity bill/water bill or paying the house tax bill by standing in long queues. Nor have they even imagined the issue of a wrong bill and all the trouble a common man has to take in getting it corrected. All such petty jobs were taken care by the office peons or their servants. By and large their spouses also have never

purchased vegetables from a sabzi mandi, at least on a regular basis. Retirement can often bring the elite lifestyle to a crashing end. I have seen such people getting frustrated after retirement when they are not recognised by the society as VIP, when they have to do these petty tasks themselves. They now have to stand in long queues with an umbrella in hand. I have seen such people criticising the systems when they become the victims of the system. I have seen such people blaming the banks for KYC norms, the Gas Agency for not giving second cylinder immediately on demand. Alas! If only these influential people could realise the sufferings of common man during their powerful days, then they would have improved the system and on retirement they would have been themselves benefited by that improvement. The moot question is: what constructive we can do after retirement? First of all, Are we ready and satisfied to play this second innings? Are we frustrated? Are we feeling this life has gone waste and there were a lot of things we could have done in this life if we are given a second chance? Are we living in a utopian world? We live only once and whatever time gone is gone. Do not repent over that. You cannot bring it back. You will be wasting your further time in case you keep on thinking about that. Take a long breathe and decide what you want to do now. This society has given you a lot. It has provided you with a job; you were the bread earners of your family. You have brought up your children to the best of your affordability. They are now well settled or likely to be settled soon. Now what best you can make of the remaining time. Some people say they will take up some consultancy, some people get re-employed in private sectors, some people say they will start something of their own. All such schools of thought are prevalent in the minds of retiring people depending upon their resources, their ability and their network. Do whatever you want to do or whatever is best available to you for doing.

A Poet is Born Nothing succeeds like success. Now Desai started thinking about honing his poetry skills and proceeded to recite a poem telephonically, on the wedding anniversary of his brother on 2nd October which they recorded also. They were highly elated and shared a great feeling, that moment was far more entertaining for them as compared to routine best wishes. Desai was wondering, from where this interest in poetry has cropped up. May be when less than 60 days were left, he felt relaxed that he is going away from corporate jungle or maybe his hidden talent of creativity came to the forefront. Transformation! Is it? From routine to creativity. Earlier he never thought of poetry and he used to think about re- employment etc, but this farewell function has changed his thinking. Stage fear? No fear, a poet is born at 60! What he will do post retirement? Maybe, write poetry and publish his collection. Retirement does present new opportunities, Desai thought, as more exciting thoughts of what he can make of his second innings swirled in his head.

Now, Desai was writing poems and reciting them at many occasions. However, there was a critical zone ahead. Some of his own colleagues were poking fun at his newly developed poetic taste. This is the biggest setback in our society. You are ridiculed for your every venture. Desai felt very badly hurt and agitated on hearing nuisance talks by a splinter group in office. He called upon his good old friends at cafe coffee day to share his thoughts and get the opinion of his friends. He told his friend A few people do not relish my newly developed taste. A group started taunting me on becoming a poet. It seems that they have no objection with the content of the poems but they have a dislike for me. Hence they were showing taunts by laughing at my attempt of becoming a poet. His friends tried to be supportive of Desai and told him: Such critics are prevalent everywhere in the society. Be it in school/college any workplace the same human psychology works. There is a tendency in those people to let you down smilingly although they will show that they are your good friends. You will find them in your core group of friends. They taunt you on your little success in such a manner that only you understand their hidden meaning but the rest of the group feels it as an entertainment. Somewhere in the minds of these teasers, there is competitiveness. In your absence they will try to build adverse opinion about your personality. They will cite examples right or wrong to prove their points. They would endeavour to isolate you from the group. Therefore it is most important to watch such motives and cement your core group in your favour. Opinion building is a very important exercise at home, with relations and amongst friends. This leads to your predominance in the group. If you are smart, then nip the evil in the bud, do not let it grow. It is contagious. The delay you make the extra efforts will be required to build opinion in your favour. You have to call on the other friends to convey them that the teasers are ill motivated. Desai got lot of consolation from these words. With so much of discussions on the topic Desai felt quite relaxed. They paid the bill and came out of the coffee shop. Desai was in his car the other two had come by taxis. Desai offered to drop them to their places so all three sat in his car. Desai while driving the car said, I should have developed this poetic creativity earlier. His friends said: it appears so because as on date you are relieved from the corporate tussle and feel free as a freelancer. However, now you can continue and entertain group/gathering on the occasions like birth day/marriage anniversary or farewell functions where most of the people utter the same old words but you can recite poem

What are your plans? Normally in office a few days before retirement colleagues ask: where you will settle down. What are your plans etc? And after retirement whenever you meet some body or talk on phone they will ask: so what do you do for time pass. Are you doing some job? Please keep yourself busy otherwise. I can bet no retiree gives the truthful answer to such questions. We wear a mask and give a reply which is more socially acceptable. Like, Oh, I am keeping myself occupied. I have made a time table. I get up at 6.0 a.m. and go for a walk, in the evening also I go for a stroll and in the day time I am doing this or that social activity -blah. Between the above thought processes Desai remembered an incident which happened in his home town around 15 years back. There was one Mr Gupta in his neighbourhood, retired as a senior officer from a govt job. He was very social and helpful but the people of the area used to avoid him. Whenever they saw him coming they would change their route to avoid him. They were scared that this old retired man will eat up their one hour in futile gossips as he has no other work to do but only to pass his time. Remembering that, Desai just decided that he will not allow this thing to happen with him. He will not let the society feel that he is a burden or he is unproductive, he will do something fruitful. As long as you are working you have got a routine life, everything is time tabled, when to get up, get fresh, take your morning tea, shaving, take bath, breakfast and then go to office. You remain , 9am to 7 pm in office come back late evening from office , have a cup of tea then talk about family and friends , dinner is ready. You take your evening stroll and go to sleep. But after retirement everything goes hay wire. There is no office to go, no time bound itinerary, so laziness drops in. You are relegated to back ground and the priorities of other family members come to the fore. Your role gets limited day by day before finally converting into bringing milk , vegetables, going to bank and post office, doing courier etc,.

Why postpone our activities which we desire to do utmost? Most of us, especially in the service class, postpone our activities which we desire to do utmost, for the post retirement period. The reason is that all of us first want a reasonably fair security for our family. In this context I remember a dialogue from a Hindi Film ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA when the hero says that he wants to work hard and make lots of money so that he can enjoy after forty. Upon this the Heroine says who knows you will live after forty or not. This is very appropriate remark and carries a message, all we Indians need to ponder over. Life needs a purpose. Since he started writing poems he was feeling relieved of all tensions. Perhaps he had found out a purpose or it was a great escape from the competition of corporate world. Desai was thinking Was it a temporary phase for which he was overreacting? One thing had definitely become clear to him that post retirement life needs a purpose, an aim, an objective. A defined purpose gives you energy required for achieving your.

Desai as you know above has now retired from service a few months back. He is now far away from his friend circle mentioned above. There are occasional telephonic conversations between them.

After settling down in the NCR Desai rented a shop in a market place and started his coaching centre of Maths for 9th and 10th class. Desai was a keen student of Maths and he started revising his maths so as to be able to teach students. The fate of his coaching class entrepreneurship is best described as under: With great hopes he had opened the Maths coaching class, Thinking that his pupils will pass with good marks, But his hopes were dashed soon, When he did not get good response from the children due to location disadvantage, He had to close the shop as it had become unviable, He could no more afford to pay the rent from his meagre pension, Forget about becoming an education minister, He could not run his education dream-maths classes and is sitting idle now.

Pensive mood Sitting in the balcony in a pensive mood waiting for Sunday times Desai remembers: He was around 50 years old when he used to think that after retirement he will go to his hometown a hill city and join politics. His wishful thinking at that time was to become the education minister of his state. How such things come to mind you never know. He remembers that when he was in class 6th, the regular teacher had not come and the boys were making noise. The neighbourhood class was getting disturbed by this noise so the matter went up to the Head Master. He in turn sent a substitute teacher for monitoring the class. This teacher asked all the boys lets play a game. He asked the whole class to select a cabinet of ministers amongst the students. Initially, the students thought that Desai is the topper of the class so they named him the C.M. just see the psychology of the young boys, they thought that if a person is good in studies then he will also be a good C.M. But Desai refused to accept this position. The same phenomenon is prevalent in our society. Good people dont want to join politics. We want that system should improve, we curse the people who legislate, but we ourselves do not want to risk our secured career. It is a tragedy that the good citizens do not want to come out of their secured shells. Then who will improve the things? The best talents go abroad to have a rich and wealthy life full of comforts and with all the amenities of life. The next choice or the similar choice is to join the coveted civil services. Then who remains to go to assembly and parliaments. The same thing happened that day in our dummy cabinet. After his refusal the class opted for Manoj, a tall looking, Muscular bully for C.M. ship. In real life also such characters only join politics. The so called cream of the country, the renowned doctors ,capable IAS officer and genius technocrats are happy to stand in servitude to such politicians/ministers at whom they will look with cynical disdain at every possible moment of their introspection. However, we do have good people in politics as well, those who have dared to venture outside the ambit of fixed and safer boundaries, and they entered politics by choice to follow their deep passion to do something for this country. Probably in the same fashion, when it came to the allocation of Education Ministry the whole class was adamant that Desai, because he was the most meritorious student of the class, should take up the assignment. Desai, very reluctantly under pressure accepted the position.

The whole episode is symbolic of what exactly is happening in our society today. Desai realised in his later years of life that it was a great fun and as this exercise was highly educative and inspiring. The whole process of electing their own cabinet by a student class reflects the mindset of the young generation. It shows how mature they could be in their perception of a cabinet of ministers even at that young age of 11 years only. This probably substantiates the decision of Indian Government to give the voting rights to 18years plus. But as the saying goes if wishes were horses beggars would have ridden them, forget of becoming Education Minister of his home state , Desai could not even settle down in his home town. As the destiny would have it, he had to settle down in a Metro Town in NCR, be it the circumstances or family compulsions.

Newspaper hawker One day he was sitting in the balcony of his flat, it was early Sunday morning. He was sipping a cup of tea and waiting for the news paper to come. His Newspaper hawker Tripathi is a very slow moving item. He comes on a cycle enters the society from the left side and then gradually comes to his flat in the last because his flat is in the extreme right. Within the block of Desai also he comes last because first he gives paper at ground floor then takes the lift and goes to top floor then comes down by stairs distributing paper at each floor and as Desai stays on 1st floor, his number comes last. One day Desai requested him can you please deliver the paper early and further suggested that he can start delivering paper beginning from the right side of the society so that I can get it a bit earlier as I am getting up early in the morning and I need paper a bit early. Hearing this Tripathi just stared at Desai blankly and did not react further, kept quiet and left. Desai thought that now Tripathi will improve as today he has given him a piece of mind. Desai was eagerly waiting next day about the reaction on the hawker of his suggestion. But to his surprise there was no change next day, the hawker delivered as per his established routine. Hawker Tripathi is the only vendor in the society so he has monopoly, therefore Desai did not gather courage to point out next time about the delay. A bit irritated Desai accepted the prevalent system of the hawker and he rather adjusted himself to the timing of the Hawker. Gone are the days when we could have taken such hawkers to task or for his delayed delivery. Despite all the liberalisation, competition and plethora of choices for the consumers, practically if we see, there is cartel everywhere. We cant change our maid servants or hawkers at our sweet will. They have got their own associations. There cartel is so strong that you cant get new service unless the service provider leaves voluntarily.

Hindi film industry Desai , was watching the early morning birds in the park in front of his balcony .Desais flat faces the park, in fact the only thing in this flat , while purchasing it last year, he had liked most was the park facing view. Being from a hill town he has a great love for fauna and flora. Chirping of the birds in early morning fascinates him as much as the rains. Still at this age, he equally enjoys the rains. Getting wet in the rain has always been a craze for him. He always tells his wife enjoy the rains, get wet and after wards have a hot cup of ginger tea, nothing will happen to you if you do so you will never fall sick due to getting wet in rains . in fact last year one day when they had gone for evening stroll together, while returning it started raining suddenly , Desai told his wife lets enjoy the rain and they kept on walking in the rain and returned getting wet all the way. Prasad, One of his neighbours of the society who saw them walking in the rains together, exclaimed sarcastically from his own balcony oh, so you are back to your honey moon days. Our society has a tendency to react upon your actions with a lightning speed, the thunder depends on the merit or demerit of your action and if the action is iconoclastic then a storm will blow you over. Else, what has age to do with having such fun? It is probably the social perceptions or our dogmatic inhibitions that we cant dare to derive pleasure from such rare, little occasions gifted by nature. Nobody else but we ourselves are to blame for such a mindset prevailing in the society. We ourselves have set standards for our children for not getting wet in the rain lest they fall sick or catch cold. This sermon I have seen is going on from generations to generations. Then how can we break those norms as an adult ourselves. Fortunately, the Hindi film industry has numerous songs depicting the young couple romancing in rains .Believe me these sweet songs have always been appreciated for their sensuousness. Lovely scenes or songs brimming with implicit sensuality appeal to the pituitary gland and release such hormones which captivate the listener or viewer in such a fusion that leads him/her to ultimate bliss. Desai saw a white crane came flying and sat on the roof of a car below his balcony. The scene was beautiful, he ran inside to bring his mobile and came back to flick a quick photo of the crane on top of the car thru his mobile camera. Photograph was lovely. Looking at the photograph he started remembering his visit to Bharatpur bird sanctuary long back where Siberian crane used to visit those days and the great ornithologist Dr Salim Ali used to camp, watch, snap and study their movements. What a great bird watcher he was!

Remembering moments Remember the day when your child went to school for the first time. I remember very vividly the day my wife and I left our only son at a boarding school. We reached the boarding school early in the morning. There were orientation programmes and cultural events. It was wonderful to see the way the boys made a symbol DOSCO by standing in the same manner as it is written. After enjoying the cultural feast, we were offered dinner by the school administration in the central dining Hall popularly known as CDH. After having dinner we walked down, passing through the lush green ambience of the premises towards the concerned dormitory where our son was to be handed over to the house master. Mr Nair was the Housemaster, a very gentle south Indian young man, who looked a lot like the ace cricketer Srikanth. We had numerous doubts in our minds, mingling with an overall feeling of nervousness while standing in front of the very amiable house master. How will our little boy stay here independently and how he will manage his daily chores without the help of a doting mother were the big questions hovering in our minds. On such emotional occasions an invisible war sets in between the two ends of lifes pendulum i.e. the heart and the mind. We start doubting our decisions. This is a very crucial moment and it is the moment that takes the test of our nerves. It is open to debate that whether one should listen to the heart or should take a decision with the brain. The truth is that whatever mode one chooses to take a decision there are always pros and cons for that decision. Lost in these mental thoughts, I was suddenly awakened by the voice of Mr Nair. He told us to head back with a relaxed mind. He added As long as you will be here, your son will not settle down. We had no choice now therefore we decided to leave the place. I just had a last look at my son while leaving the dormitory area; He was looking like a rabbit left in front of wolves. His eyes were focussed on us as if saying please save me. It was the toughest moment in our life leaving our most precious jewel in an unfathomed sea, where sharks (seniors) may bully him, where he will not get Maa ke haath ki roti.(food cooked by mother) With all such feelings we were coming out of the rich green environment of the famous The Doon School of the country. These buildings have produced many great man like Mr Rajiv Gandhi the Ex P.M. of India and great personalities like Vikram Seth, author of A suitable boy .As we came out of the Gate of the esteemed school, there was a feeling of pride somewhere in our mind that our son will now study in this prestigious school, but our heart was heavy as we had left him in boarding school. It is very tough for parents, that too from such a middle class family, where no child, let alone the only child, has ever gone to boarding school at such a tender age of 11. Normally, this is the age when a child is pampered. The decision was taken after keeping a heavy stone on the heart.

We came to railway station to catch the train for our city. As we were sitting in the train we were both quiet with a heavy heart and were not even able to see each other as if we had done some crime and are feeling ashamed of it. My wife was sobbing all night. One of the co-passengers asked her what happened. She told her that we have dropped our only son in boarding school. That lady was very supportive and encouraged our decision and told us everything will be alright in a few days. This is the beauty of our Indian culture that the co-passengers empathise with you and counsel you although they dont know each other. This is a rich cultural heritage. This remains one of the most emotional events in my life and as I sit on the balcony of our Noida flat 16 years later, I remember it like yesterday. The phone rings in the bedroom and my wife rushes from the kitchen to receive it. We both know that it is our son, who has now grown to be a successful well settled young man. The stranger who comforted us in the train was right everything is alright.

What is ailing this country? See what happens when you are retired and you have all the time to ponder over past, present and future, have full time available to read the news paper thoroughly and reflect on the issues. Till yesterday, (before retirement) I was only reacting on the various issues whether facing my personal life or debating for the current topics among the office colleagues. Perhaps now I have learnt to reflect rather than react. The Newtons Third law of Motion says Every action has a Reaction. We have been using this phrase thru all our school/college life and later on in our service life to show off that we still remember the Laws of Motion. The Optics in physics always said that sun rays are reflected, albeit differently by the plane mirror, concave mirror and the convex mirror. The lives of all earthly human beings also follow the same principles and either react or reflect in the same way as we have learnt in physics. Being in the reflective mode on that sunny morning, I was pondering over what is ailing this country even after 66 years of independence. Durga Shakti, an upright IAS officer is suspended for doing her duty religiously. I remember, my father wanted me to become an IAS officer. Joining the IAS is the dream of not only many young students but also their parents. In middle class circles, A youth becomes a celebrity over night when the results of his/her selection in IAS appears in the news paper next day morning. It is considered to be the best service in our country which gives enormous opportunities to contribute in the development of the nation. The young IAS become SDM and then DM and they plan the development of the district in coordination with the other agencies. The rich industrialist, big business men the high profile politicians all look out for an IAS as their son in- law. IAS provides name, fame, power and the security to the family in the form of a secured, respectable and powerful Govt job. They are the think tank of the govt in formulating and implementing the policies. The selection of an IAS officer is made thru a very tough test conducted by UPSC. Despite my best efforts, I could not pass the exam and had to content myself with a job in public sector. The feeling of gloom had overtaken the family due to my failure in IAS. All the middle class dreams were broken. I used to feel as if this term of my life has gone waste. I had seen my senior college mates ending up as clerks in AGs office and living a frustrated life after not getting selected in IAS. I was at least

lucky to get a good PSU job. Such was the great attraction for IAS in my times. Today, after looking at the episode of Durga Shakti, I feel very happy that myself and my wife never imposed or rather never wanted our son to become IAS, although there were two reasons for that decision. The first one was that after my slogging and having failed in IAS, I never wanted my son to go thru all that shattering experience and play gamble with the aspiration of his life and secondly it was the bad impression of political interference in the working of IAS. We may worship Durga Shakti for her boldness but the average middle class is so meek and fearful that they cant visualise their sons and daughters in the same plight as she is today. Therefore, with all the fancy dreams of the name, fame and power associated with IAS we decided to forget it and planned greener pastures abroad for our son despite all his academic and extracurricular achievements in school and college. It reminds me of one of my office colleague who once said why should not we opt for softer options if they are equally good. And yes today I also feel he was right, the kind of atmosphere prevailing in our country will only accelerate Brain Drain. Such unwarranted punishments of young upright officers will definitely have a demoralizing affect on the aspiring brilliant graduates who want to join the civil services. Already the cream of the country is going abroad as their first choice as they feel that there is lot of political interference in the guise of political pressure in administrative services. Such cases will further discourage them to remain in India and serve the country as administrators. In addition to that, the probationers may start avoiding such state cadres where doing your duty honestly is punished, forget about reward. Many of the seasoned or the experienced civil servants have realized that nothing can be done against such activities so they prefer to ignore and close their eyes. Some brave hearts have also lost their lives in fighting against this nexus. The new recruits are impulsive and energetic. They fight against such nexus and the result is crystal clear. Youth has got energy and tremendous capacity to fight against the odds. A young officer has a dream, a desire to make the things work. They have the rule book to support them. We have such elaborated rules to act upon any situation that they are enough to nail a culprit or a wrong doer. Rules are framed by the Lawmakers i.e. MPs and MLAs and enacted in parliament or assembly .Why then problem arises, why the same law makers make a noise when these laws are implemented by the able administrators IAS/IPS. It appears that the law makers make the rules to catch public votes in their favour and when these rules boomerang upon them or their party cadre they bully the IAS. In case, rules are not implemented then the opposition parties clamour

for the head of DM or SP of the district. Will you now dream IAS as a career for your son or daughter? Frankly an average middle class parent has always been meek and fearful about the risk of life to their wards. All parents are possessive and they have so much affection with their children that they would never throw them in front of such sharks .Conduct rules are binding, you dont have the permission to speak the truth, you are refrained from saying anything. Your voice is choked by the rules. What do you do then? As an ordinary law abiding citizen one feels helpless and a feeling of despair sets in our mind thinking that where do we ordinary people stand when the young and dynamic officers are suspended in a bizarre manner like this? God alone can save our country!

Dhritrastra syndrome Today the state is ruled by leaders who behave like the Dhritrastra of the epic Mahabharata who was a born blind and could visualize only the interests of Kauravas and to aggravate the matter further their advisers have become Gandhari who has put a cloth on her eyes so she cant see the truth. Only Lord Krishna can save us. The media is debating on Durga issue, political parties are engaged the same old game of blaming each others governance. The pseudo intellectuals are fuming and the youth is deploring the high handedness of the state govt. all this is impulsive at the moment. It is very easy to tweet or comment on face book sitting in your office at home and then forget. Is it a past time for us is there any seriousness in our thoughts and actions? If so, then why you vote such governments to power? You will say that no u have not voted them to power. In fact you have not even gone out to vote. You were watching your favourite movie or the cricket match on the polling day. It was a paid holiday for you. Then why are you crying? You have no right to shout now. Our social fabric has become such that growth of money in a family is looked upon with high respect and regards. Perhaps no body looks after the means thru which it is achieved. A corrupt person purchases land, house car and other amenities in a short time then it is called his business acumen or smartness. Amassing of wealth has become great lure, means are unimportant. Earn by hook or crook, donate a little bit in social works and you are worshipped. With money comes the power. Flaunting money is a fashion in current day society. If you are honest and live a simple life although holding a powerful post u are termed as good for nothing, a simpleton of no use. If you do not give favours or get the work done for your closed friends and relatives, you are termed as Snob who has forgotten the friendship. You are under tremendous social pressure to bend the laws and help them. Else what is the use of your becoming an IAS/IPS or Magistrate/judge? As if, It is your sole responsibility to uplift the under privileged of your close family circles. Amassing wealth is not at all a sin as long as you are not caught and implicated. So amass wealth smartly, dont get caught. If you are in politics then you have more freedom, you create wealth, do scams and when caught blame the officers attached with you. They might lose their jobs but you become darling of the media. You are popular now. The case will go on for years, u keep on pulling the right strings, change your loyalty to ruling govt .if you are a bigger leader then bargain on the strength of your vote bank .The cases may

go on for years but nothing will happen to you , you keep on winning elections. Wherever there is easy money, mafia will take birth, be it sand/forest/oil/coal/liquor etc. On the verdict of the Supreme Court that all the political parties should come under the purview of RTI Act, the entire political parties joined together to amend the constitution. We have lost our moral character; it is at the lowest ebb today. We are least ashamed of our evil actions. We have guts to dub media as misquoting us despite a video proof with them. Look at medias working also. The media who criticized nirmal baba for his shaktiyan and was after his blood, the same media is now giving his programme telecast as advt. what is going on in our country ?. A situation has developed in India that wherever there is big and quick money, the mafia enters there. Mafia also knows that they need political clout to keep away the strict local DM/SP SDM etc. The politicians want election funds. Where from it will come? They also want muscle power which mafia readily provides them. Therefore local administration fails to take any actions in the cases involving illegal activities be it illegal mining or trade in illicit liquor etc. because the Mafia is backed by politicians. Our fear has disappeared .we have no regrets in doing nefarious activities. Now a days people are not fearful of even the GOD. Some people think that by giving big donation to the religious places they are absolved of all their sins. Nobody wants to irrigate the motherland with blood and toil. Everyone wants to exploit the soil. We are no more sons of the soil but we have become looters of the soil. The ruling party, whosoever it may be, should always draw a line between promoting welfare of the people at large thru good administration and the appeasement of their local cadres. No political party can win the confidence of general public in long run by such deplorable acts. At best what they can achieve is satisfy the ego of their local cadres. Those who are well off they dont want to step out of their comfort zone. Those who have nothing , they have a feeling of hopelessness and the planning commission is ridiculing their plight by setting the limit of Rs 32 p/m as BPL .Now left is middle class, they will shout feebly on the rates on vegetables and onions and sleep. Common man when sees upright officers like Durga Shakti then they make them God or Goddess, because the common man has lost all hopes.

Where is the hope?

At one end we are talking about shining India/incredible India and on the other end we are seeing cases such as victimization of Ms Durga Shakti Nagpal the dynamic IAS who took the sand mafia head on. The Apex Courts verdict to debar the convicted criminals from contesting elections is likely to be negated by constitutional amendment in the Act. Then where is the hope. The only hope is from the youth. They only can transform the society. But they want a leader; they want to be shown the path. They want someone who can channelize their youthful energy and lead them. They want a Gandhi, a selfless person, a great organizer. We need a social revolution which will sweep away the evils of the society like an Aandhi (a strong wind) Why there was spontaneous response in Anna Harares rallies? The answer is it is the same reason. We are looking out for a messiah. Then where is the hope. The only hope is from the youth. They only can transform the society. But they want a leader; they want to be shown the path. They want someone who can channelize their youthful energy and lead them. They want a Gandhi, a self less person, a great organizer.

Mission incomplete Desai is very ambitious and progressive. He is retired now but he is not happy with his accomplishments till date. He dreams big and tries his hand in different ventures. His mission is yet not complete and now he has decided to educate the present day youth.Desai is not deterred by the unfateful examples of failed attempts. He is determined now to give a message to it is only the youth who can eradicate the evils of our society. He has decided to take up his pen to spread his message that there are plenty of opportunities dispersed around the atmospheric medium around us and only thing is we have to pick them up with our deep passion.

Ray of hope! I was sitting in the balcony of my flat one early morning, sipping a cup of hot tea along with my favourite Rusk (biscuits). The news paper had not yet come. I was feeling fresh after doing my morning Yoga. The sun had risen and the filtered morning sun rays emerging from the little gaps of towering society buildings began to fall on my face. Although a bit uncomfortable to bear direct rays on my face yet I found lot of energy in those rays. My wife told me to shift my chair to a bit shaded area but I told her that May be out of the numerous sun rays falling on my face, I can find one ray which is a ray of Hope.