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How To Improve Esteem



The effects of low self esteem destroy success. Eliminate negative influences as they are a major cause of low self esteem. If you have low self esteem, fake it until you make it. You can train your brain to develop high self esteem.

In this article you will learn briefly about what self esteem is, and how to improve low self esteem. For more detailed information about self esteem, head over to the personal development section and read each article on self esteem in the order they are listed.

What Is Self Esteem?

In its most simplest form, self esteem means liking the person you are and seeing yourself as a worthwhile and important individual. any people wrongly assume that any person who is rich, famous or good looking, will automatically have high self esteem. The reason this is incorrect is because true self esteem can only come from within you, and should not be dependant upon other people or other things. If your self esteem comes from these e!ternal factors, it is vulnerable to fluctuations throughout your life. "ometimes it may go up. "ometimes it may go down. It will all depend on the circumstances in your life. This last point can be seen in numerous celebrities who have suffered from low self esteem. For e!ample, #eith $edger, %ngelina &olie, and 'ritney "pears are all reported to have suffered from low self esteem. (espite the )average* person considering these people to have perfect lives, their lack of true self esteem lead to a rejection of themselves. %s a result, they e!perienced much pain and psychological discomfort in their lives.

Self Esteem Growth





You cannot change the person you are today. You can however improve and upgrade what you have been given. 'ecoming the best person you can be ultimately will allow you to feel better, look better and live a better life. +owever the very foundation of this self improvement comes from within. It comes from improving your level of self esteem, and learning to accept and love the person you are. ,ithout a strong foundation of self esteem, anything you build upon it is likely to crumble and fall. %s you have already seen with the many celebrities who suffer very public breakdowns.

What Is The Cause Of Low Self Esteem?

%nything that makes you feel valuable, special, worthwhile, needed, important or anything else that makes you feel good, will raise your level of self esteem. +owever, the opposite is also true. %nything that makes you feel bad such as fear of failure, poverty, self doubt, rejection or criticism will lower your feeling of self worth and create low self esteem. "o when you break self esteem down to this level, it really is -uite simple to understand. Things that make you feel good, will raise your self esteem. Things that make you feel bad, will lower your self esteem.

.f course, self esteem is a bit more complicated than this, and there are many other factors which play a role in shaping your self esteem. 'ut if you can apply this basic principle of ma!imising the good things in your life, and eliminating or reducing the bad, you will notice your self esteem will rapidly start to improve.

Low Self Esteem

nd Failure

/irtually all human failure occurs due to low self esteem, because accompanying it are limiting belief systems that make you believe you unable to achieve your goal. For e!ample, if you doubt your ability to complete a certain task you unlikely to give it 0112 of your best effort. %s a result you will perform far below your true potential, and therefore achieve far less than you were capable of. If you set out with an attitude that failure is inevitable, ultimately that is what you will achieve, failure.

,hat is the result of failure3 Feelings of inade-uacy, self doubt and a reduced confidence in your abilities. In other words failure makes you feel bad, and as you already know, things that make you feel bad can lower your self esteem. This just goes to show the effect of low self esteem on failure. It is a self reinforcing cycle, whereby the lower your self esteem is, the more likely you are to fail, causing your self esteem to drop even more. ,hen self esteem reaches absolutely rock bottom, many people then resort to drugs, alcohol or even suicide.

You !e"ome What You Thin# Of The Time

$out %ost

It is often suggested that in order to build self esteem you should just think positive thoughts. I agree, but only partly. There is no doubt that negative self talk will lower your self esteem, however there are also many other factors which play a role.

Low Self Esteem

nd Self Tal#

In case you don4t know what self talk is, self talk is a term used to describe how you speak to yourself on a daily basis. It is those little voices in your head that either encourage you, telling you what a good job you have done. .r the voices which tell you how you are never going to achieve something, or how you messed something up. +ow you talk to yourself today, is often a reflection of how your parents talked to you as a child. "o for e!ample, if you call yourself an idiot after doing something wrong, it is likely you were called an idiot by your parent5s6 when you did something wrong.

The most common form of self talk is negative, and usually involves putting yourself down or doubting your ability to do something. It is very destructive because it is often done without really thinking about it, and on a day to day basis. The affect of negative self talk serves to reinforce limiting beliefs into the mind, thereby reducing your overall level of confidence and belief in what you are capable of. .bviously this will lower your self esteem. "o monitoring and improving the way you talk to yourself is an easy and effective way of improving self esteem.

!irds Of

Feather Flo"# To&ether

,hilst eliminating negative self talk certainly is beneficial, it is also important to eliminate negative e!ternal influences that may be contributing towards creating low self esteem.

Low Self Esteem

nd So"ial Groups

%ssociating with negative individuals is perhaps one of the worst things that you can do when trying to raise your self esteem. It is best to avoid these people whenever possible, as they will just bring you down and further lower your self esteem. +ave you ever noticed how you feel good around some people, whilst you feel tense, an!ious or uncomfortable around others3 This occurs because the way a person is feeling affects the energy field, or aura, that surrounds them.

,hen you are filled with negativity you emit a negative aura around you. This aura will repel people and make them feel uncomfortable in your presence.

,hen you are feeling good about yourself, your aura changes. It becomes filled with a positive energy, that attracts people and makes them feel good being around you. This is why you should always eliminate or reduce the number of negative people you associate with. Their negativity bring you down, and make you feel worse about yourself. 'y spending your time with happy positive people their energy will spread to you, and you will automatically begin to feel better. If you would like more information on the human aura, how energy fields affect people and a video of an aura, see this article 7 (evelop 8apport ,ith %nyone

"tin& Your Wa' Into Hi&h Self Esteem

.ne of the best ways to boost self esteem is to feel good about yourself, after9all, that4s what self esteem is. 'ut it4s difficult to feel good if you feel down. Isn4t it3 There has been countless research that shows if you feel a certain way you will act a certain way, but if you don4t feel a certain way, you can act a certain way to feel that way. In other words, fake it until you make it: %nd this is e!actly what actors do:

I4m not going detail how to act confidently, because that would take several articles to do justice. 'ut the basic idea is that if you act confident and courageous, soon enough you will become confident and courageous, here4s why;

(ra"ti"e %a#es (erfe"t

The more you practice something, the better you get at it. This occurs because the brain begins to form new connections. In this e!ample, I will call them confidence connections.

Creatin& Confiden"e Conne"tions In The !rain

If you have low self confidence your )confidence connections* are weak and few in number, just like the twigs on a young tree. 'ut if you practice acting confident an ama<ing thing happens. The brain begins to produce more confidence connections, and the e!isting ones become stronger.The twigs are now branches on a mighty oak tree:

)aise Your Self Esteem Ever'da'

This process occurs for any skill or thought pattern you learn and use. +owever if you do not use a skill the reverse happens, these connections get weaker and start to break up.

"o the more you work on improving your self esteem the weaker low self esteem becomes. This is why it is important to surround yourself with positive influences, and to do something each day that will raise your self esteem. +owever the reverse of this is also true. The more you give into fear, the worse your fear will become. 'y fearing your fears you are literally feeding them and making things worse. "o focus on the things you want in your life, and allow them to grow and develop. %void focusing on the things you don4t want in your life, so that they can shrink and disappear. 'ut be warned, mental fitness is like physical fitness: %t the start it is hard. 'ut the more you practice the stronger those connections will become, and the higher your self esteem will be.


re *estined For Su""ess

"uccess is not an accident or luck, it is a skill, it is predictable and can be learnt by you or anyone. The sooner you learn the skill of success, the sooner you will achieve what you were destined to accomplish in life. 8emember, success must be learnt and it is only through small but constant daily improvement will you succeed. Things won4t happen overnight, but they are guaranteed to happen if you never ever give up.

If you fail try again, learn from your mistakes and you will be one step closer to achieving your goal. =I firmly believe anything is possible, you just have to know what to do, how to do it, then keep doing it until you succeed.

Importan"e Of Chan&in& !elief S'stems

Your belief systems influence your actions. These belief systems are created at an early age. 'y changing your belief systems, you can change your life:

In >art 0 I revealed how despite coming from unprivileged backgrounds, many individuals become e!tremely successful. This showed that success is a skill and can be learnt by anyone.

I also e!plored how one of the biggest barriers to success are belief systems, and that by changing these beliefs you can open up many new possibilities for you to e!plore.


re !elief S'stems?

% belief is something that you regard to be true, or occur in a particular way. 'elief systems act like filters in the brain, causing you to see the world in a specific way. They edit your reality, and therefore influence your actions. "o how do belief systems form3 ,ell, although many factors can form belief systems, the ? most important are your parents and your early school years.

!elief S'stems From (arents

,hen you enter the world you arrive with a blank slate. You have no preconceived ideas about the world, how it works, you have no )filters* and anything is possible.

+owever as a survival mechanism human beings are genetically programmed to mimic or model those around them, and as a result are e!tremely susceptible to e!ternal influences. These influences first come in the form of our parents. %s we grow older we learn from our parents what we can and can4t do, in short we adopt their belief systems, which in turn filter our reality and therefore how we view the world. For e!ample, are you an optimistic person or are you negative3 %re you a calm person or do you have a temper3 @ompare your characteristics to those of your parents, and see how many belief systems they passed onto you.

!elief S'stems From S"hool

.ne common belief told to children is that if they don4t get good grades they won4t get a good job. 'ut as you saw in >art 0, this belief is false. There are many successful millionaires in the world, many of whom never even finished school.

+owever should a child finish school with poor grades and accept this limiting false belief, they are then likely to believe success is something they cannot achieve. Their belief system simply does not allow for the possibility of success, and as a result they most likely will never achieve it.

Chan&in& !elief S'stems

.f course there are many, many other factors which influence our beliefs. These beliefs are usually formed at an early age and unless changed, stay with us for the rest of our lives. The important point however is that whilst some beliefs may benefit us, many do not, and only serve to limit what you believe you can achieve. 'ut if you can change these belief systems, you will change what you think is possible, and ultimately what you can achieve.

!elieve You Can

"hieve It+

I firmly believe that anything is possible. You just have to know what to do, how to do it, then keep doing it until you succeed. If you want to become successful, it is necessary for you to believe you can become successful. You first need to remove your limiting beliefs and replace them with ones that are congruent with what you would like to achieve. 'ut remember, believing something will not automatically make it happen. It merely opens the door of possibility. Your job is to walk through that door and make it a reality:


Aote7 For more related self9improvement advice, ideas and tips, get to know %artin9 the writer and webmaster of my favorite website9 http7BBwww.eruptingmind.com