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I have killed twenty-five people Some of them might have deserved it Most of them were just so I could feel

again All but a few left me feeling a wonderful fear The first one was a loving mother A mother with three children and a husband The children are gone now, the husband is far away She begged me not to kill her, but felt nothing at all for her Soon, I felt anger overtake me Wrath was my sin, killing my joy When I was enraged I was complete When I was afraid, I was fueled by ecstasy When I killed the sixth one, my feelings changed Normal murders I no longer felt, mere killings did nothing I took to butchery, to destruction, to annihilation and obliteration I tore limbs free, I mangled faces, I spread organs and bones and blood Sometimes I took hostages I tortured and destroyed them I felt afraid someone would find me The fact that I felt anything was enough At the twelfth, people stopped being people Humans became meat, meat became nothingness Nothing became emotion, emotion became all that I knew I remember who took that from me, who made me feel so little He stood over a pile of ruined bodies His form unknowable and unnatural and immortal Hatred was in his infinite eyes, hunger pooling under each mouth He stood like a man, he moved like a snake, and he spoke like a vulture It spoke with a monster's tongue, an impossible, horrible accent Each syllable dripping an affront to sanity and dignity, speaking pure blasphemy I stared it at and it spoke to me thus, and I only listened intently. "Come to me, my child." "I sense your fear and feed on your terror. You wish to know what I am. You cannot escape me." "You are a man, but something in you is far detached." "You desire something greater, something more than human." "You fear that you may feel to much. You think that emotion rules you."

"I can cure this. I can give you everything you wish for. Come to me, my child." What it said was nonsense, I thought nothing that it said Somehow, I knew every word was true, that it knew me to my soul I, in my blindness, fell to my knees and begged it not to kill me as I wept It told me that my death wasn't what it wanted, that it only wanted my soul It drew closer, it's every appendage twitching with an unnatural life It's geometries were impossible, nothing of this earth moved like this thing It laughed and it's laugh haunted me, drove me to insanity and brought me to tears This impossible monstrosity was to be my master, and I would only answer to it eternally I know not what it was, but as it drew from me I felt no different I felt only terror and paranoia, fear of what this thing would do to me If it were a demon, it followed no code, and if it were an angel, it was unholy As it finished taking it's toll, it vanished, leaving no trace, no sound, only my dread Two years have passed since that night What it took from me can never be taken back My only goal is to find the demon, to make with it a trade Memories of my victims are fleeting, I'll not recall them soon After all is said and done, I'm doing the monster's bidding If it was terror it wanted, it's getting mine and a hundred others' If it was suffering it wanted, then I am supplying it every day of my life If it was nothing it wanted, I hope that one day that is what I will give to it The rest... Is silence