The Explosive Child

Dr. Ross W. Greene

An explosive outburst occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip that persons capacity to respond adaptively
Interacting adaptively with the world requires the continual ability to solve problems, work out disagreements, and control the emotions one experiences when frustrated. The following skills are needed to do this; Ability to express disappointment appropriately, hift gears, ettle on an alternate plan !ove beyond black and white thinking " recogni#e the gray in situations !anage feelings of frustration when interrupted think clearly enough to consider options Characteristics of Explosive Child Inflexibility, poor frustration tolerance, difficulty thinking things through when frustrated $ften respond to even simple changes and requests with extreme rigidity, verbal or physical aggression %emands for shifting gears often induces a fairly rapid intense debilitating level of frustration Implosive &hild ' inflexibility"poor frustration tolerance cause shut down, withdrawal, tears, curl in a ball The (xplosive &hild is delayed in the process of developing skills essential for flexibility and frustration tolerance They essentially suffer from )*rain +ock, because they lock onto an idea and have tremendous difficulty unlocking it. Their brain gets stuck. They are not very good at responding to demands that they shift from how they are thinking to how you are thinking. -Imagine a .entium processor that would allow them to think faster and more efficiently when frustrated/ YOUR EXPL ! T"O! GU"DE# YOUR "!TER$E!T"O!% C&"LDRE! DO WELL "' T&EY C !((((( There is a )i* difference )et+een vie+in* explosive )ehavior as the res,lt of the fail,re to pro*ress develop-entall. and vie+in* it as learned/ planned/ intentional/ *oal oriented/ and p,rposef,l. "f the child COULD do +ell/ the. WOULD do +ell. The child is alread. -otivated to do +ell and the explosive )ehavior reflects a develop-ental dela.. This child re0,ires a different approach to discipline and li-it settin* than do other children. 1"nept parentin* and poor discipline are !OT the reasons the child is lac2in* these s2ills3 REW RD !D PU!"#&4E!T PROGR 4# DO!5T TR "! T&E C&"LD "! T&E !ECE## RY #6"LL# of flexi)ilit. and fr,stration tolerance. P,ttin* a lot of ener*. into -otivatin* the child and teachin* hi- +ho5s )oss -a. act,all. )e co,nterprod,ctive. Gettin* p,nished or not receivin* an anticipated re+ard often -a2es these 2ids 4ORE fr,strated/ not less/ th,s "!CRE #"!G the fre0,enc. and intensit. of the child5s explosions and ca,sin* interactions +ith the child to +orsen. 7ehavior 4ana*e-ent Principles f,nction on the central )elief that 8 non co-pliant children have LE R!ED that their tantr,-s/ explosions/ s+earin*/ screa-in*/ and destr,ctiveness )rin* theattention or help the- *et their +a. ). coercin* 1or convincin*3 their parents to 9*ive in:. 9&old the child acco,nta)le: is code for p,nish-ent. "f the child is rel.in* on conse0,ences as his -otivation not to explode/ he5s not even close to )ein* 9held acco,nta)le:. "f .o,5re not teachin* the necessar. s2ills needed to solve the pro)le-/ then .o,5re not settin* the sta*e for hi- to 9)e acco,nta)le.: 4an. people erroneo,sl. )elieve that if the conse0,ences a child has alread. received for his explosions haven5t ca,sed hi- to stop explodin*/ it -,st )e )eca,se the p,nish-ents didn5t ca,se the child eno,*h pain. #o the. add -ore pain. 7ein* -ore inflexi)le .o,rself doesn5t help the child )e -ore flexi)le. Onl. t+o +a.s conse0,ences are act,all. ,sef,l;

<3 teach )asic lessons a)o,t ri*ht and +ron* =3-otivate people to )ehave appropriatel.

'actors that are co-pro-isin* s2ills in the do-ains of flexi)ilit. and fr,stration tolerance
(0(&1TI2( 3I++ 1. Shifting cognitive set -the ability to shift efficiently from one mindset to another/ many children have trouble transitioning from rules"expectations of one activity to rules" expectations of another 2. Organization & Planning -organi#ing a coherent plan of action to deal with a problem or frustration/ Identify the problem, consider a range of possible solutions, anticipate likely outcomes !any children are so disorgani#ed in their thinking that they4re unable to identify the problem that4s frustrating them. !any are so disorgani#ed that they cannot think of any more than one solution to a problem. !any are so impulsive that , even if they could think of more than one solution, they4ve already done the first thing that popped into their heads. 5eflexive negativity 6 tendency for the child to instantaneously say )7$, every time there is a change in plan or he4s presented with a new idea or request. 3. Separation of affect -the ability to separate your emotional response to a problem from the thinking you need to perform to solve the problem/ This skill permits people to put their emotions )on the shelf, in order to think through solutions to problems more ob8ectively, rationally, logically 9oal : !ove from +ess Thought , !ore (motion to !ore Thought, +ess (motion -.ut on your thinking cap;/ $verwhelmed by the emotions associated with frustration, these children have difficulty applying rational thought until they calm down. I< you respond to a child who4s having difficulty separating affect by imposing your will more intensively and )teaching him who4s the boss,, you probably won4t help him manage his emotions. +A791A9( .5$&( I79 3I++ 6 dogs don4t have language, so if you step on a dog4s tail he4d have only = options 6 bark, bite or run away. The same applies to a linguistically compromised human being 6 swearing can be thought of as the human )bark,. It4s what we humans do when we can4t think of a more articulate way to express ourselves. 1) Categorizing and expressing emotions T !" #dentif$ing and artic%lating one&s needs some children do 8ust fine at categori#ing and labeling their feelings, but have trouble coming up with the words to tell you what4s the matter or what they need. >/ Solving pro'lems 6 the process of accessing previous solutions tends to be automatic and efficient for many children, but children whose language skills are lagging may have difficulty efficiently accessing past solutions. 7$7( $< T?( ( 3I++ &A7 *( TA19?T 1 I79 A 5(@A5% A .17I ?!(7T .5$95A! (!$TI$7 5(91+ATI$7 3I++ 1. #rriti'ilit$()gitation ' The explosiveness of many children is being fueled by a fairly chronic state of irritability"agitation that makes it hard for them to respond to life4s routine frustrations in an adaptive, rational manner. $ne of the most valuable things we can do for an explosive child is to help him stay rational at times when he4s likely to become irrational. 2. )nxiet$ 6 has the potential to make rational thought much more difficult. The combination of anxiety and irrationality causes some children to cry 6 others explode. !any obsessive'compulsive children begin rituali#ing because in the absence of rational thought, the rituals are the only things they can come up with to reduce their anxiety.

Irritable or anxious children must be TA19?T to problem solve more adaptively .utting !$5( consequences"incentives on their behavior is 7$T going to accomplish this. If the only time a child looks as if he has bipolar disorder is when he4s frustrated, that4s 7$T bipolar disorder

&$97ITI( <+(0I*I+ITB 3I++ ' *lack and @hite Thinkers tuck in a 9ray @orld These children often have a strong preference for predictability and routines, and struggle when events are unpredictable, uncertain, and ambiguous. They tend to over focus on facts and details and have trouble recogni#ing the obvious or seeing the big picture. These children experience enormous frustration as they struggle to apply concrete rules to a world where few such rules apply. $&IA+ 3I++ !motional #lliterac$ ' !any explosive children have trouble attending to appropriate social cues and nuances, do not accurately interpret those cues, are inefficient at connecting cues with past experience, may not be very efficient at considering how they want a social interaction to ensue, may have a limited repertoire of responses and end up applying the identical responses -giggling, poking, intruding/to situations in which such responses are inappropriate, may be quite unskilled at recogni#ing how they4re coming across or appreciating how their behavior is affecting others and may lack the skills for handling the most basic of social interactions. The child needs to attend and try to pick up on the important qualities of the social cues of the situation <or example: who 8ust whacked me on the backC Is his posture"facial expression"context friendly or unfriendlyC ?e must then connect those cues with his previous experiences in order to interpret this cue The think about what he wants to have happen next. Think about how to respond, evaluate the different possible responses, choose a response, enact it, monitor the course of events throughout, and ad8ust the response accordingly.

#TR TEGY
T5I99(5 6 .roblems that have yet to be solved. .AT?@AB D skills that need to be trained. $nce you know what the child4s pathways and triggers are, his explosions become highly predictable. 9et everyone on the same wavelength &lear the screen of some unnecessary frustrations A 5educe overall demands for flexibility and frustration tolerance 1sually there are between five and ten triggers that contribute to explosions on a weekly basis ome common triggers are: fatigue, hunger, and transitions 3eep a record of the problems that cause the child to become frustrated $ptions; .lan A 6 impose your will on the child, )7$,, )B$1 !1 T,, )B$1 &A74T, 6 Increases likelihood of explosion .lan *' EE&ollaborative .roblem olving'engages child in discussion, resolved in a mutually satisfactory manner .lan & 6 drop expectation completely 6 may be appropriate with triggers like brushing teeth, food choices, exercising, doing homework, using good table manners, getting to school on time, and even swearing, situations when child is on sensory overload -ie: taking them to supermarket/ 6 these can be resolved at a later date once the child is stabili#ed and other more pressing problems have been solved. .lan * ' &. 6 do the thinking for the child that he4s currently incapable of doing on his own. erve as his tour guide through frustration. The goal is to get the problem solved proactively *(<$5( it comes up again. F. (!.AT?B 6 5(.(AT T?( &?I+%4 @$5% *A&3 T$ T?(!, TI&3I79 &+$ (+B T$ ?I (0A&T @$5% (mpathy keeps people calm, also ensure that the child4s concern is on the table. Bou don4t lose any authority by empathi#ing. Bou4re trying to do things differently

(mpathy is neither )yes, or )no,. It4s neither agreeing nor disagreeing >. %(<I7( T?( .5$*+(! 6 T?( A%1+T .+A&( T?(I5 &$7&(57 -7$T $+1TI$7;/ $7 T?( TA*+( Bou are seeking to reconcile two concerns 6 the child4s and yours =. I72ITATI$7 6 *$T? &?I+% A7% A%1+T *5AI7 T$5! .$ I*+( $+1TI$7 ome children4s first stab at a solution is to simple repeat what they wanted in the first place -usually a sign that the child is not yet good at generating solutions. 5eminder that goal is to come up with a solution that works for *$T? of you. This is hard work. ome problems require more than one conversation. ometimes emotions rise and you need to take a break. ometimes the first plan doesn4t work, but don4t quit; 9o back to the table.

Case #t,d. <

Anxious when presented with new tasks or situations <requently in an irritated"agitated mood 5igid in clothes he would wear, food he would eat ?yperactivity, inflexibility, and irritability were more potent that his clear desire to obtain rewards and avoid punishments. The behavior program frustrated him further. ?is capacity for thinking about his own behavior seemed limited @ould occasionally hit or yell at other children during less structured activities, particularly when he didn4t get his way. *right, had good factual knowledge, but poor problem solving skills 5emorseful after episodes or had difficulty remembering the episode altogether 1pset when things didn4t go exactly the way he thought they would 5unning out of the room is adaptive, curling up in a ball is adaptive 6 while we wish they would use their words, these actions probably help them from doing other things that would be a lot worse. &ase tudy 6 A!B 9ave %irections 6 student wouldn4t comply 6 repeated directive 6 student became frustrated 6 reminded of consequences 6 student became more frustrated and agitated, thinking increasingly disorgani#ed and irrational, and control over words greatly reduced 6 interpreted as attempt to )force, backing down or giving in 6 student loses rationality, screams and lashes out 6 resisting time out' confinement would further intensify explosion, resulting in destructive behavior ' tudent eventually cries or falls asleep 6 wakes up remorseful