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SELECTIONS FROM THE REVITALISATION OF THE SCIENCES OF RELIGION

Al-Ghazalis Ihya Ulum al-Din

The E hi!s "# Ma$$ia%e


Cha& e$ One C"n!e$nin% En!"u$a%emen an' Dis!"u$a%emen " Ma$$ia%e As in the Koran Allah, the Almighty said: Marry those among you who are spouseless and the virtuous (Koran Ch. 2 verse !2" and also Allah said: do not restrain them #rom marrying their (#uture" hus$ands. (Koran Ch. 2 verse 2!2" and also in des%ri$ing and praising the Messengers Allah, praise and pea%e $e upon him, the Almighty has said: &e have sent #orth other Messengers $e#ore you and given them wives and des%endants. (Koran Ch.'! verse !(" Allah, the Almighty mentions this here in showing )is $ounty and gra%e. Allah *lory $e to )im has shown us how the righteous should give praise: +ord give us o# our wives and %hildren what pleases our eyes (Koran Ch. 2, verse - ". As to tradition the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: /Marrying however turns away #rom my rite, then he has turned away #rom me. And he said: Marriage is my rite, so whoever li0es my nature let him #ollow my rite.1 And he also said: Marry and multiply, $e%ause 2 will $e proud o# you on the 3ay o# 4udgment even in the mis%arried #etus. And he said: &hoever a$stains #rom marriage in #ear o# poverty is not one o# us. As to the sayings o# the Companions, 5mar 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6 said: 7othing prevents one #rom marrying e8%ept #or one who ma0es it impossi$le #or himsel# or who is li%entious. )e has shown that 9eligion does not deter #rom marriage, and he limits the o$sta%les into two $lameworthy matters. 2$n A$$as (may Allah $e pleased with them" said: :he .iety o# a pious person is not %omplete until he marries. )e li0ens marriage to piety and the way o# per#e%ting it. &hat is apparent is that he wants to sa#eguard his piety, #rom the temptations o# desire, $y marriage. .iety will not $e %ompleted e8%ept $y the mind $eing at rest.

2$n Masud 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6 said: 2# there were only ten days le#t o# my li#e, 2 would li0e to marry so that 2 would not meet Allah, the Almighty while 2 was unmarried. The A'(an a%es an' Disa'(an a%es "# Ma$$ia%e The$e a$e #i(e a'(an a%es in ma$$ia%e) The Fi$s a'(an a%e) :he %hild, he is the o$;e%t o# marriage as the purpose o# marriage is #or the %ontinuation o# the human ra%e, so that the world will not $e depleted #rom humanity. )aving a %hild is an a%t, whi%h $rings on %loser to Allah, the Almighty in #our ways: 6 Fi$s ly, it is the most pre%ise way, whi%h is #ar #rom %ommon understanding. 2t is the most power#ul way #or those who have vision to re#le%t upon the wonders o# the %reation o# Allah and )is %ommand o# the universe. :he e8planation o# that is that i# the master has handed the servant the seeds and the tools o# tillage, and readied #or him a land #or %ultivation, and the servant is a$le to %ultivate it and has appointed him to loo0 a#ter it, then i# eh was la<y and le#t the tools idle and le#t the seeds until there were rotten, then i# the servant attempted to de#end his la<iness, he deserves to $e $lamed $y his master and to have his anger dire%ted at him. Allah, the Almighty has %reated the pair, male and #emale, then )e in%ited upon them, whether male or #emale, the desire #or ea%h other and )e %reated the small =uantity o# sperm and %reated in the #emale the wom$ and prepared it as a se%ure pla%e #or it and %reated the pla%enta to %arry its nourishment. :hese a%ts and tools %erti#y to the intention o# their %reator and %all those who possess minds to 0now what they were prepared #or. Se!"n'ly, striving to gain the love and pleasure o# the Messenger o# Allah, praise and pea%e $e upon him, $y multiplying the Muslims whose num$er will $e the %ause #or his pride. Thi$'ly, that there remains a#ter him a righteous sons who will pray #or him as it was narrated in the )adith: All the deeds o# the son o# Adam will $e %ut e8%ept #or three. 2t was mentioned that among the three is the righteous son. F"u$ hly, that i# the %hild dies $e#ore him, he will inter%ede #or him. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: &hoever has three who died $e#ore rea%hing the age o# pu$erty, Allah, the Almighty will admit him to .aradise $y )is mer%y #or their sa0e. 2t was said: > Messenger o# Allah, praise and pea%e $e upon him, what a$out i# they were two? )e said: And also i# they were two. The Se!"n' A'(an a%e) 2s to $e prote%ted #rom the tempting o# satan and $rea0ing the desire, to lower the ga<e, to preserve the %hastity, as the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: &hoever has married has prote%ted hal#

his religion, so let him #ear Allah in the other hal#. And he also said: @ou should marry, and whoever is una$le must #ast, as #asting $rea0s the desire. The Thi$' A'(an a%e) 2s the %ompanionship and en;oyment o# ea%h other1s %ompany, giving happiness to the hearts, whi%h will ena$le him to #ul#ill his worship, as the human soul, when it is $ored, repels the truth, $e%ause it is against its nature. 2# it was o$liged to %ontinue with what it is opposed to, it will return $a%0 to #alsehood. 2# it is amused $y its pleasures #rom time to time, then it would $e strengthened and a%tive. 2n the %ompany o# women there is mu%h rest and pleasure, whi%h would negate the toil and weariness o# the li#e and gladden the heart. :he soul o# the pious must have amusement in law#ul pleasure, that is why Allah, the Almighty has said: 2t is )e who %reated you #rom a soul. Arom it )e %reated its mate, so that he might reside with her. (Koran Ch. - verse '(B". Ali 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6 said: *ladden your heart #or an hour $e%ause i# it is deprived it will $e%ome $lind. 2n the tradition it was said: A wise man should have three hours, one hour to remem$er Allah, the Almighty, one hour to $ring himsel# to a%%ount, and one hour #or his eating and drin0ing and ta0ing pleasure, as these hours will sustain him #rom the remaining hours. The F"u$ h A'(an a%e) :hat his heart will not $e o%%upied in running his house, domesti% %hores su%h as %oo0ing, %leaning, #urnishing, washing dishes preparing all the ne%essities o# li#e, as i# he was to ta0e %are o# all this he would spend all his time and have no time le#t to gain 0nowledge or to wor0. :he righteous woman who ta0es %are o# her house0eeping assists her hus$and in the religion, the desta$ili<ation o# these matters will o%%upy and distur$ the mind and ma0e disharmony in the li#e. A$u Coliman Al 3arani 6 may Allah have mer%y upon him 6 said: :he righteous wi#e is not o# this li#e, she spares her hus$and1s time #or the )erea#ter. The Fi# h A'(an a%e) 2s in the dis%iplining o# the soul, re#ining the %hara%ter, and %uring the si%0ness o# the heart, and ta0ing %are o# the rights o# the wi#e and persevering in patien%e to tolerate any aggravation, to strive in re#orming them and guiding them to the way o# religion. :o strive to gain the law#ul #or their sa0e and to %are #or the up$ringing o# the %hildren, all these deeds are o# great virtue. As to the dis%ouragements to marriage there are three: Fi$s ly) :he ma;or dis%ouragement is the ina$ility to see0 the law#ul. As this will not $e easy #or everyone, espe%ially in these days when li#e is di##i%ult. Co marriage will $e an in%reased $urden and a %ause to #eed the #amily #rom unlaw#ul means.

Se!"n'ly) Aailing to give them their rights and to $e impatient towards any aggravation. :o $e pleasant with women and to %arry on with them a%%ording to their lusts is easier than see0ing the law#ul. 2n this there is great danger $e%ause he is the shepherd and he will $e =uestioned a$out his responsi$ility. :he .rophet said: 2t is a great sin #or a person to destroy his #amily $y overloo0ing their errors and not %orre%ting them. Aor this reason many people have renoun%ed marriage saying that they are tested enough $y themselves, so how %ould they add to that another soul. Thi$'ly) 2t is other than the #irst and se%ondD that the wi#e and %hild draw one away #rom the remem$ran%e o# Allah and lure him to the li#e o# this world and its gains in order #or him to provide a good standard o# living #or his %hildren, so he needs to earn enough money #or them, to save #or their #uture, and to $e proud o# them. All things, whi%h draw you away #rom your remem$ran%e o# Allah, the Almighty, whether they are your wi#e, money or %hildren, are ominous #or the one who has them. 2# you say: &hy then did 4esus renoun%e marriage in spite o# its virtues? 2# it was $etter to renoun%e it #or the sa0e o# worshiping Allah, then why did our .rophet Muhammad, praise and pea%e $e upon him, marry several wives? Know that it is $etter to do $othD to have more wives i# you are #air $etween them and a$le to $e e=uita$le, and to worship Allah as nothing %an 0eep you away #rom the remem$ran%e o# Allah. >ur .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, too0 the matter $y his strength and did $oth marry and worship to his #ullest e8tent, and in spite o# his having nine wives nothing too0 him away #rom his worship o# Allah, the Almighty. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, in his no$ility, worldly matter did not hinder his heart #rom $eing always with Allah, the 9evelations used to %ome down to him while he was in his wi#e1s $ed, so we should not ma0e %omparison $etween him and ourselves. Eut 4esus too0 the matter $y #irm resolve not $y strength and de%ided to a$stain #rom marriage, and may$e in his %ase marriage would have a##e%ted him di##erently, or would have $een di##i%ult #or him to have done $oth, so he pre#erred to $e #ully in %ontinuous worship. :hey are the $est to 0now o# their %ir%umstan%es and the %onditions prevailing in their time in the way o# law#ul gain and the %hara%ter o# women, and what is e8pe%ted o# the hus$and and the re=uirements #or marriage. &hatever the situation was marriage would have $een $etter in some %ases and renoun%ing it $etter in others. &e are o$liged to loo0 at the a%ts o# the .rophets without %riti%ism under all %ir%umstan%es. Cha& e$ T*"

C"n!e$nin% +ha is " ,e O,se$(e' a he Time "# a Ma$$ia%e C"n $a! Re%a$'in% he S a us "# he +"man an' he C"n'i i"ns "# he Ma$$ia%e :he %onditions and the pillars o# the marriage %ontra%t, whi%h ma0e the marriage law#ul are #our: 6 :he permission o# the guardian, i# there is no guardian then the Cultan. :he a%%eptan%e o# the woman i# she is de#lowered and rea%hed the age o# pu$erty or virgin and rea%hed the age o# pu$erty i# the one who is her guardian is other than her #ather or grand#ather. :he presen%e o# two ;ust witnesses, i# they are un;ust, then it should $e ruled that the marriage %ontra%t should $e made out o# ne%essity. Aull response and a%%eptan%e, in the #ullest meaning o# the word, al ina0ah or al ta<weeg (o# marriage", or the given meaning in other languages, it should $e uttered $y those who have rea%hed adulthood. As #or reasons in ta0ing a $ride, there are two %ategoriesD one is #or law#ulness, the other #or $etterment and to a%hieve the purpose o# marriage: The #i$s !a e%"$y- what is %onsidered law#ul is that she should $e void o# any %ondition prohi$iting marriage. :he prohi$itions are nineteen: Che is already married. Che is in a period o# pres%ri$ed waiting, due to widowhood or divor%e. Che is renegade #rom the religion due to uttering words o# dis$elie#. Che is a Foastrian. Che is an idol worshiper or an atheist who does not $elieve in any prophet or $oo0. ># these are those who $elieve in #eminism and permissiveness. Marriage to su%h is unlaw#ul. :hus to every woman who $elieves in #alsehood. Che is #rom the people o# the $oo0 who $elieved in their religions a#ter %hanging or a#ter the sending o# the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, Che is a slave and the $ridegroom is #ree and a$le to pay dowry #or a #ree woman. 2# she $elongs to the one she will marry as one that is possessed $y the right hand.

Che is related to the $ridegroom in origin or $ran%hes, or $ran%hes o# #irst origin, or #rom #irst $ran%hes o# ea%h origin a#ter origin. &e mean here $y origin, mothers and grandmothers, and $y $ran%hes, %hildren and grand%hildren, and $y $ran%hes o# #irst origin, $rothers and their %hildren, and $y #irst $ran%hes o# ea%h origin a#ter origin, maternal and paternal aunts, other than their %hildren. Che is a sister in su%0ling. And what is #or$idden in the relatives o# origin and $ran%hes is #or$idden in the sister in su%0ling. .rohi$ited $y the relationship o# marriage in that the one who is wishes to marry has married her daughter or her grandmother or his #ather or his son has married her $e#ore him. :hat she would $e the #i#th wi#e while he has still #our other wives. 2# the one who wishes to marry is already married to her sister or her maternal or paternal aunt, and the marriage would gather these together. 2# the one who wishes to marry has divor%ed her three times already, then she will not $e law#ul to him unless she #irst marries another man and is then divor%ed #rom him and she waits the pres%ri$ed period. :he one who wishes to marry her has divor%ed her $e#ore $y swearing an oath a%%using her o# adultery, or she a%%uses him li0ewise, she will $e prohi$ited to him #orever. Che is ward on the pilgrimage (hi;r or umrah" or the one who wishes to marry is the same, no marriage %ontra%t is permissi$le until they %omplete the pilgrimage. 2# she is de#lowered and under age, marriage is prohi$ited until she rea%hes the age o# pu$erty. 2# she is an orphan she %annot marry until she rea%hes the age o# pu$erty. 2# she is #rom the wives o# the .rophet, may Allah $e pleased with them, a#ter him, or he has married her, they are the mothers o# the $elievers. :he =ualities o# $etterment o# living, whi%h should $e ta0en into a%%ount when ena%ting a %ontra%t to marry a woman and to a%hieve o# the purpose o# marriage are eight: Che should $e righteous and pious. :his is the most important attri$ute to loo0 #or.

Che should $e o# good %hara%ter as this is very important i# you see0 her assistan%e in strengthening your religion, $e%ause i# she is loose tongued, $adly $ehaved, ungrate#ul #or any #avor, her harm will $e greater than her $ene#it. Che should $e $eauti#ul, this is also desira$le as with it you will preserve your %hastity. As #or her nature, she should not $e ugly, as mu%h as she should $e $eauti#ul so her nature should $e $eauti#ul, as the two should go hand in hand. :he .rophet said: :he $est o# your women is the one who i# her hus$and loo0s at her she pleases him, and i# he orders her to something she o$eys, and i# he is away she 0eeps him in hersel# and his wealth. )er dowry should $e reasona$le. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: the $est o# the women are the $eauti#ul in #a%e and the least in dowry. Che should $e #ertile, so i# she was 0nown to $e $arren, she should not $e sought in marriage. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: Marry the #ertile and ami%a$le.1 2# she was not married and her %ondition was un0nown, then wat%h #or her health and youth as i# she is healthy and young she will $e #ertile. Che should $e virgin. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said to 4a$ir when he married a de#lowered woman: 2t would have $een $etter i# you had married a virgin, you would have en;oyed ea%h other $etter. Che should $e #rom a religious #amily o# good origin, as she will $ring up her daughters and sons, and i# she is not o# good up$ringing she will not $e a$le to $ring up her %hildren well. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: Ctay away #rom the #lower, whi%h grows in the sewerage? )e said: Che is the $eauti#ul woman o# $ad origin. )e also said: Choose %are#ully #or your sperm, $e%ause $ad traits are inherited. Che should not $e #rom your %lose relatives as this diminishes the desire. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: 3o not marry a %lose relative, as the %hild will $e $orn a wea0ling. Cha& e$ Th$ee The E hi!s "# In ima!y an' he Re.ui$emen s #"$ he C"n inui y "# Ma$$ia%e The #i$s ) :he %ele$ratory meal, it is pre#era$le to hold one, Anas 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6 said: :he Messenger o# Allah, praise and pea%e $e upon him, noti%ed the tra%es o# henna on A$d Gl 9ahman i$n Aw# 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6, so he said: /&hat is this?1 )e replied: /2 married a woman and 2 gave her an oun%e o# gold as her dowry.1 Co the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: /May Allah $less your marriage, you should have a %ele$ratory meal even with only a sheep.1

The Se!"n') 3ealing with wives in a good manner and tolerating their harm. G8tend mer%y towards them, Allah, the Almighty said: +ive with them honora$ly. (Koran Ch. verse 'B" and Allah, the Almighty also said regarding the importan%e o# women1s rights: and they have ta0en #rom you a strong %ovenantH (Koran verse 2'". :he last thing, whi%h the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, urged upon the Muslims %on%erned three matters, he spo0e o# these repeatedly until his voi%e was tired: .rayer and what your right hand possesses, do not %ompel them to anything they %annot do. Aear Allah in your womenH :reat your women well and $e 0ind to them, #or they are your partners and %ommitted helpers, remem$er that you have ta0en them as your wives and en;oyed their #lesh only under the trust o# Allah and with )is permission. The Thi$') As well as tolerating their harm you should ;o0e, e8%hange pleasantries and $e lighthearted with them, $e%ause $eing lighthearted ma0es their hears #eel $etter, the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, used to ;o0e with his wives and deal with them a%%ording to their mentality, he used to wor0 with them in their houses, to the point that he was seen running a ra%e with Ayesha, may Allah $e pleased with her, , whi%h sometimes she won and sometimes he won, and he used to say one day #or you and one day #or me. 5mar 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6, in spite o# his nature $eing rough, said: A man must $e li0e a %hild with his wi#e, $ut i# they see0 what he has, then they should #ind him a man. The F"u$ h) A man should not go too #ar in his ;o0ing and good manner with his wi#e and should not always %ondes%end to her whims, $e%ause this will spoil her %hara%ter and $elittle him in her eyes. Co he should ta0e a middling %ourse $etween the two. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: Misera$le is the slave o# the wi#e. )e only said that $e%ause i# a man o$eys his wi#e1s every whim then he is her slave. :he Ara$ women used to tea%h their daughters how to test their hus$ands, and the women used to say to her daughter: :est your hus$and $e#ore you dare on himD pull out the iron tip o# his spear, i# he says nothing, then try to %ut the meat on his shield, i# he says nothing, then $rea0 a $one with his sword, i# he says nothing, then put the saddle on his $a%0 and ride him, he is only your don0ey. :he heavens and the earth were %reated in ;usti%e, anything, whi%h e8%eeds its limit %reates disharmony. The Fi# h) Moderation in 4ealousy: A man should not $e e8%essively ;ealous, and in matters whose out%ome %on%erns him, he should not ignore them #rom their onset. )e should not permit himsel# to go to e8tremes in suspi%ion, o$stina%y or spying out the se%rets o# the heart. :he .rophet #or$ade us #rom pursuing the #aults o# women.

The /$"&he - &$aise an' &ea!e ,e u&"n him- sai') :here is one 0ind o# ;ealousy, whi%h Allah, the Almighty loathes, that is the ;ealousy o# a man #or his wi#e without %ause. Ee%ause o# suspi%ion #rom, whi%h we have $een #or$idden, as most suspi%ion is sin. As #or ;ealousy with %ause, it is unavoida$le and praiseworthy. The Si0 h) Moderation in G8penditure: A man should not $e e8%essively tight#isted or spend e8%essively #or his wi#e, $ut he should $e moderate. :he most important thing to $e o$served in e8penditure is that he #eeds her #rom law#ul sour%es and he should not ma0e money unlaw#ully #or her sa0e, as this will $e a great sin against her rather than %are o# her. The Se(en h) :he hus$and should $e 0nowledgea$le a$out the menses and its rules and %ir%umstan%es, and he should tea%h his wi#e the regulations regarding prayer and what she should do during the menstrual period and a#ter it. The Ei%h h) 2# he has more than one wi#e, he should deal e=uita$ly $etween them, and he should not #avor one over another, and i# he has to travel and wishes one o# them to a%%ompany him, he should %asts lots to %hoose $etween them, thus did the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him,. Co i# one wi#e wins the lot and so ta0es the turn o# another wi#e, whose turn it was, then the other wi#e must have her turn repla%ed upon their return #rom the ;ourney, and this is an o$ligation upon the hus$and. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: &hoever has two wives, then he #avors one over the other, on the 3ay o# 4udgment he will $e $rought out with one hal# o# his $ody sideways. )e should $e #air in what he gives them and in spending the nights with them. As #or love, this does not %ome within the realm o# %hoi%e. Allah, the Almighty said: @ou will not $e a$le to $e ;ust $etween your women, even though you are eager. (Koran Ch. verse '2B"D this means you will never $e a$le to $e #air regarding the heart1s emotion. The Nin h) :he Iiolation o# Marital duties on the part o# either )us$and or &i#e: &hatever dis%ord there is $etween them, whi%h %annot $e re%on%iled, i# it was the man1s #ault, or #rom their ;oint #aults, the wi#e should not $e in%ited against her hus$and, and i# the pro$lem %annot $e resolved then two ar$itrators should $e appointed, one #rom her side and one #rom his side to e8amine the matter and to try to re%on%iliate them. Allah, the Almighty said: 2# you #ear a $rea%h $etween them send #or an ar$iter #rom his people and an ar$iter #rom her people. 2# $oth wish re%on%iliation, Allah will $ring su%%ess $etween them. (Koran Ch. verse !,". 5mar 6 may Allah $e pleased with him 6 sent an ar$itrator $etween a wi#e and hus$and, and he returned without $eing a$le to e##e%t a re%on%iliation. Co he raised his sti%0 ready to stri0e him sayingD /Allah, the Almighty said: /2# they wish #or re%on%iliation Allah will e##e%t harmony $etween them,1 Co the ar$itrator had to return with a good intention and treat them 0indly until he re%on%iled them.

The Ten h) :he Gthi%s o# Marital 2nter%ourse: :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: 2# any one o# you when he approa%hes his wi#e says: /.lease Allah distan%e the satan #rom us and distan%e satan #rom what @ou will $estow on us.1 :hen Allah $estows on them a %hild, satan will never $e a$le to harm him. +et there $e #oreplay $etween them and $e#ore approa%hing ea%h other they should $egin $y e8%hanging pleasant words and 0isses. :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: 7one o# your should #all on top on his wi#e the way the animals #all on ea%h other, $ut let there $e $etween them a messenger. :hey as0ed: &hat is this messenger, > .rophet o# Allah? )e said: :he 0iss and the pleasant words. :hen i# he #inishes #irst he should wait #or his wi#e until she also #inished. The Ele(en h) The E hi!s "# /a$ ui i"n a$e #i(e) :here should not $e more re;oi%ing #or a male %hild than #or a #emale, $e%ause one does not 0now where the good lies. >ne should ma0e the %all to prayer in the ear o# the in#ant at $irth. 9a#iJ has narrated #rom his #ather: 2 have seen the .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, ma0ing the %all to pray in the ear o# Al )asan when Aatima (may Allah $e pleased with her" gave $irth to him. Call the %hild $y a good name, this is the right o# the %hild, even the mis%arried #etus should $e named. Al A=i=ah: (to slaughter an animal" #or the male, two lam$s, and #or the #emale one lam$. :o ru$ the roo# o# the %hild1s mouth with a date or something sweet. The T*el# h) Di("$!e) Know that it is permissi$le $ut it is the most disli0ed o# the permitted things in the sight o# Allah, the Almighty. 2t is only permissi$le in order to avoid any harm or #alsehood. Allah, the Almighty has said: :hen, i# they o$ey you, do not loo0 #or any way against them. (Koran verse ! " :he hus$and must o$serve #our %onditions in divor%eD #irst that he divor%es her while she is in a state o# purityD se%ond that it is %on#ined to one divor%e and not to divor%e three times at on%e, $e%ause one divor%e a#ter the pres%ri$ed period o# waiting, %an permit him to return his wi#e to him during that period, and he %an renew the marriage a#ter the pres%ri$ed period. :hird, he should $e 0ind and gentle and appre%iate the %ir%umstan%es during the divor%e without $eing violent or oppressive, $e%ause that might ma0e her #eel what she would miss upon separation, and they might $e guided to re%on%ile.

Aourth, he should not e8pose her se%rets whether in divor%e or during the marriage. As it was narrated regarding e8posing the women1s se%rets, that it is a great threat, and it was narrated o# one o# the righteous people, that when eh wanted to divor%e a woman, he was as0ed what reason he had #or divor%ing her, he said: :he man o# sound mind does not dis%lose his wi#e1s se%rets. Co when he divor%ed her he was as0ed: &hy did you divor%e her? )e replied: 2 have no right to spea0 a$out the wi#e o# someone else. The Ri%h s "# he Hus,an' "(e$ his +i#e Mu%h eviden%e in the :radition have $een narrated %on%erning the importan%e o# the hus$and1s rights over his wi#e: :he .rophet, praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: Any woman who dies while her hus$and is pleased with her, she will $e admitted to .aradise. And the .rophet , praise and pea%e $e upon him, said: 2 have seen the Aire and 2 #ound most o# its inha$itants are women. Co they as0ed: &hy, > Messenger o# Allah, praise and pea%e $e upon him? )e said: Ee%ause they %urse too mu%h and have $een ungrate#ul to their hus$ands. Co it is his right that she should not give anything o# his house e8%ept $y his permission, $ut i# she does so, the sin is on her, and the reward is #or him. And o# his rights is that she should not do any voluntary #asting e8%ept $y his permission. :he rights o# the hus$and upon his wi#e are numerous: the most important are two: :o 0eep him %haste and to %over his se%rets. :he other is that she should not as0 him #or things, whi%h are unne%essary. :o re#rain #rom gaining anything unlaw#ul. :hus were the ha$its o# the women in the early days. &hen their hus$ands went out o# their houses, the wives and daughters used to say: 9e#rain #rom gaining any unlaw#ul things as we %an $ear hunger and pain $ut we %annot $ear )ell Aire. 2t is a duty o# the wi#e not to s=uander his money or wealth $ut she should assiduously 0eep it. The E hi!s "# +"men :he woman should stay in her house and should not go in and out o# her house e8%essively, she should not spea0 e8%essively to neigh$ors, and she should not enter their homes e8%ept on o%%asion, she should 0eep her hus$and in his a$sen%e and see0 his pleasure in all her a%ts. Che should not $etray him in his wealth or in hersel#. Che should not go out o# her house e8%ept $y his

permission. Che must not meet the #riend o# her hus$and #or any %ause, her interests should $e in amending hersel# in her a##airs, in running her house, esta$lishing her prayer and #asting, and she should $e %ontent with what Allah, the Almighty has $estowed upon her hus$and. Che should pre#er her hus$and $e#ore hersel#, and $e#ore all her relatives, she should 0eep hersel# %lean and ready at all times #or her hus$and to en;oy her whenever he wishes. Che should $e 0ind to her %hildren, 0eep their se%rets, re#rain #rom insulting her %hildren or arguing with her hus$and. And o# her ethi%s also, is that she should not $e proud $e%ause o# her $eauty, nor should she despise her hus$and i# he is ugly. 2t was narrated that Al Asmo1ai said: 2 entered a s%ru$ land and #ound a woman who had a most $eauti#ul #a%e married to a man who had the ugliest #a%e, so 2 as0ed her: > you, how did you a%%ept to marry someone li0e him? Che said: )old your tongue, you have uttered a wrong thing, he may $e $est in what is $etween himsel# and his %reator, so )e made me a reward #or him, or it may $e that 2 am the worst in what is $etween mysel# and my %reator, so )e made him my punishment. And #rom the ethi%s o# the woman is that she should adhere to righteousness, and $e sad in the a$sen%e o# her hus$and, and to return to play and happiness and $e the %ause o# en;oyment when he is present. And what is due upon her o# the rights o# marriage is that i# her hus$and dies she should not $e very grieved #or more than #our months and ten. And she should re#rain #rom $eauti#ying hersel# during this period. ># her ethi%s is that she should per#orm every duty in the house that she %an do. 2t was narrated that Asma1s $int A$u Ea0r Cadi= (may Allah $e pleased with them" said: Al Fu$air married me and he does not have land or wealth and owns nothings e8%ept his horse and his $aggage %amel, so 2 was #eeding his horse and #et%hing the supplies and $rushing it, and 2 used to pound the date stones to #eed the %amel and water it and ma0e the water s0ins, and 2 used to prepare the dough and %arry on my head the date stones #or long distan%es until A$u Ea0r sent a servant #or me, so she loo0ed a#ter the horse and 2 #elt as i# 2 was set #ree.