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Differences Between Republicans and Democrats...

* Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!" * Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Sal ation !rmy" Democrats help the poor by gi ing $50# one buc$ at a time# to panhandlers on the street" * Democrats get bac$ at the Republicans on their Christmas list by gi ing them %ruitca$es" Republicans re&'rap them and send them to in&la's" * Democrats let their $ids open all the gi%ts on Christmas ( e" Republicans ma$e their $ids 'ait until Christmas morning" * )hen toasting the holidays# Republicans as$ %or eggnog or mulled 'ine" Democrats as$ %or a "*ud"" * )hen not in stores# Republicans shop %rom a catalog" Democrats 'atch %or "incredible +, o%%ers" on late night tele ision" * Democrats do much o% their shopping at +arget and )al&Mart" So do Republicans# but they don-t admit it" * Republican parents ha e no problem buying toy guns %or their $ids" Democrats re%use to do so" +hat is 'hy their $ids pretend to shoot each other 'ith dolls" * Republicans spends hundreds o% dollars and hours o% 'or$ decorating the yard 'ith outdoor lights and Christmas displays" Democrats sa e their time and money# and dri e around at night to loo$ at *other* people-s lights" * Democrats- %a orite Christmas mo ie is "Miracle on ./th Street"" Republicans- %a orite Christmas mo ie is "0t-s a )onder%ul 1i%e"" Right&)ing Republicans- %a orite Christmas mo ie is "Die Hard"" * Republicans al'ays ta$e the price tag o%% e2pensi e gi%ts be%ore 'rapping" Democrats also remo e price tags o%% pricey gi%ts """ and reposition them to ma$e sure they are seen" * Republicans 'ear 'ide red ties and green sports 3ac$ets during the

%esti e season" Democrats do too# all year round" * Most Republicans try# at least once# enclosing indulgent# 'retchedly maudlin %orm letters about their %amilies in their Christmas cards" 4ublic ridicule %rom Democrats usually discourages them %rom doing it again" * Democrats- %a orite Christmas carol is "Dec$ the Halls"" 5oung Democrats%a orite Christmas carol is "6randma 6ot Run 7 er by a Reindeer"" Republicans%a orite Christmas carol is ")hite Christmas"" 5oung Republicans- %a orite Christmas carol is ")hite Christmas"" * Cheaps$ate Republicans buy an arti%icial Christmas tree" +ight& %isted Democrats buy a real tree# but they 'ait until the 'ee$ be%ore Christmas 'hen the lots lo'er their prices" * Democrat men li$e to 'atch %ootball 'hile the 'omen %i2 holiday meals" 7n this# Republicans are in %ull agreement" * Republicans see nothing 'rong 'ith letting their children play "Co'boys and 0ndians"" Democrats don-t either# as long as the 0ndians 'in" * Republicans %irst began thin$ing li$e Republicans 'hen they stopped belie ing in Santa Claus" Democrats became Democrats because they ne er stopped belie ing in Santa Claus"