ALIEN TO ANTIQUITY ___________________

A Ten-minute Play

by

Stacey Lane

2007 2242 English Oak Ct. Miamisburg, OH 45342 (571) 213-4890 StaceyLanePlaywright@yahoo.com

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

1 Cast of Characters

Herman Rewald

Vice President of the company.

Walter Punshon

President of the company.

Themis

Lady Justice in the flesh.

Scene

An office in Corporate America.

Time

The present.

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

(The lights come up on an office. HERMAN, a doughy do-gooder, paces while WALTER, smug and quick to judge, leans against his desk.) HERMAN I feel just terrible about this. WALTER Dont. Its all part of the game. HERMAN I dont know, Walter. She seems like such a nice girl. WALTER But completely incompetent. This needs to be done. (There is a clanging knock at the door.) WALTER Come in. (There is more clanging and banging. The door knob rattles, but the door does not open.) HERMAN Do you need some help? THEMIS (Offstage) Yes. WALTER See, Herman, this is exactly what I was talking about! Useless. (HERMAN opens the door and in stumbles THEMIS, a pasty woman in a white toga carrying a sword in her right hand and scales in the left, with a blind-fold over her eyes.)

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

WALTER Themis, sweetheart. How are you today? (THEMIS blindly struggles to find her way around the office, clanging into everything with her sword and scales. HERMAN leads her to the chair across from the desk and helps her sit.) HERMAN Right this way, dear. Baby steps. Just a little more- Here you go. The chairs right behind you. (THEMIS sits.) WALTER Do you know what this is about, Themis? THEMIS You called me in. I came. WALTER Ill cut to the chase. Your productivity has been down lately. THEMIS I attend to each task as it should be attended to, giving each no more nor no less than it deserves. WALTER Still, in this day and age, we need results. And we need them fast. You have to admit that you do work slowly. HERMAN Well, she does have her hands full. THEMIS I work accurately. WALTER Oh, little lady, I beg to differ. The number of customer complaints I get about you is astonishing. THEMIS What the people want is not always whats good for them.

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

WALTER Well, some of the reports Im getting- Its downright ridiculous, some of the projects youve put your stamp of approval on. THEMIS People often put my name on projects in which I was not involved. WALTER Really? Because I keep hearing complaints that you like to take credit for the hard work of other employees. That kind of thing will not be tolerated. In short, Themis, it seems everyone around here has something negative to say about you and your work habits. Why do you think that is? THEMIS There is confusion about what my actual duties consist of. I am here to serve the organization as a whole, not to cater to the petty whims of the individual. HERMAN Mr. Punshon, some of the staff do treat her like their personal assistant. WALTER Ive never seen anything like that around here. THEMIS Last week, you had me drop everything to return your coffee. WALTER I paid for a grande and that incompetent jerk gave me a talle. Thats just not right. HERMAN Sir, you know how hard it is for her to carry hot coffee. THEMIS It was quite the balancing act. HERMAN Themis, Mr. Punshon and I are here to evaluate your performance and find ways to help you improve. But I must say, you should be proud of your accomplishments. Youve

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

HERMAN (Cont.) managed to make an awful lot of yourself, overcoming your disabilities, what with being blind and a woman. THEMIS I am blindfolded, not blind. HERMAN Really? We all just assumed thatTHEMIS Your predecessors put this blindfold on me and I am unable to remove it, as the sword and scales are permanently attached. HERMAN Well, thats quite aTHEMIS You could remove the blindfold. WALTER No. I dont think so. HERMAN Sir, we couldTHEMIS I could do my job more effectively if I could see what I was doing. WALTER No. Im sure you were blindfolded for good reason. I dont question the decisions of my forefathers. That (gesturing to the blindfold) is how youre supposed to be. HERMAN You know, my beautiful daughter Becky and I do a lot of charity work and we see the most touching stories of the handicapped overcoming adversities everyday. You should embrace what God has given youTHEMIS God did not make me this way. Man did.

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

HERMAN Themis, while we are an equal opportunity employer, giving no preference to candidates based on religion, we prefer you not to speak blasphemy while youre here. Please. WALTER God is good for PR. HERMAN Especially in your department. If the people dont agree with some of your decisions, you can always say that you are just doing Gods will. Who can argue with that? THEMIS I do not seek approval. I seek truth. WALTER Approval is much easier to document. HERMAN Themis, have you considered that perhaps this company is no longer a good match for your special skills and talents? THEMIS My work here is not done. WALTER Well, Im sorry you feel that way, because were going to have to let you go. HERMAN Cant we at least give her an early retirement? THEMIS Early? Ive been here longer than both of you combined. You will not be able to find someone qualified to replace me. HERMAN Shes right. She may not be perfect, but shes the best weve got. WALTER Not true. Weve received resumes from a lot of promising candidates, offering new perspectives and approaches to the position. Here. Have a look, Mr. Rewald. (WALTER picks up a file

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

folder from his desk and hands it to HERMAN.) THEMIS I want to see those. (THEMIS flails her sword towards the direction of the sound and knocks the file folder out of HERMANs hand, sending resumes and photographs flying.) WALTER Now, look what youve done, little lady. (HERMAN and THEMIS crouch to gather the papers. THEMISs impairments make her attempts quite unsuccessful.) THEMIS I have a right toHERMAN Im sorry, but theyre not in brail. WALTER And theyre not your business. THEMIS I do not read brail, as I do not have use of my finger tips. HERMAN Really? That must make it hard to do your job. THEMIS Yes. (In the scuffle of resume gathering, THEMISs sword spears a photograph of George W. Bush. This can be accomplished by HERMAN slipping the pre-sliced photo onto the end of the sword

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

while THEMISs back blocks the action.) WALTER Give me that. THEMIS Give you what? WALTER (Removing the photograph from THEMISs sword) This is one of our most promising applicants. His ideas are so radically different from yours, that(HERMANs cell phone rings.) HERMAN Oh, pardon me for a moment. (He crosses to the door as he answers the phone.) Herman Rewald speaking. (He exits.) WALTER I think were done here, Themis. THEMIS You have failed to provide me with concreteWALTER Okay, little lady. Im going to put this to you in a way that youre sure to understand. (WALTER reaches into his desk and pulls out a handful of pens and pencils. He reaches over and taps the left side of the scale.) Reasons for keeping you. (He taps the right side of the scale.) Reasons for firing you. (Picking up a pencil and holding it above the two sides of the scale) Youre nice to look at. Some people say seeing your pretty face each day gives them some hope.

Alien to Antiquity By Stacey Lane

WALTER (Cont.) (He drops the pencil in the left side of the scales.) You usually dont live up to that hope. (He drops a pen in the right side of the scales.) THEMIS You are incorrect. WALTER (Picking up another pen) The world is changing. You are not. (He drops a pen in the right side of the scales.) THEMIS That is a positive. (She gestures towards the scales with her sword and comes close to hitting WALTER.) WALTER Whoa, careful there little lady. We dont want anyone to get hurt. May I continue? THEMIS This is unfair. WALTER You have been here a very long time. (He drops a pencil into the left side of the scales.) But some people believe that during that time your jobs importance has been blown way out of proportion. Carol, in payroll, thought you quit working here years ago. (He drops a pen into the right side of the scales.) And there have been accusations that you take bribes. (He drops a pen into the right side of the scales.) THEMIS Those accusations are false. You have not properly investigated.

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WALTER And I hear that you tend to give special favor to our wealthier clientele. (He drops a pen into the right side of the scales.) THEMIS You refuse to let me near the poor ones. WALTER Oh, and a lot of people say youre a racist. (He drops a pen into the right side of the scales.) Im afraid the scales are not tipping in your favor, sweetheart. (HERMAN reenters in a blind rage.) WALTER Herman, are youHERMAN (To THEMIS) You! You let thisWALTER Whats(HERMAN comes behind THEMIS and grabs her hand with the sword and holds the sword to her neck. THEMIS does not struggle.) HERMAN Fix this! WALTER What are you doing, Herman? HERMAN Fix this! Fix this now. WALTER Calm down. What are you- What happened?

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HERMAN My daughter. They-there were these- she- she couldnt-sheShe was a good person. She didnt deserve- How could you let this happen? THEMIS I didnt. HERMAN You- you let Becky- she-she didnt-she- my only little girl- my everythingTHEMIS You are allowing your emotions to cloud your reason. If you could present me with the facts, I couldHERMAN You are gonna fix this! WALTER She will. Give her time. Shell find the people who did this and shell punish HERMAN Thats not good enough. I want my daughter back and you cant give me that, can you? THEMIS No. (HERMAN tightens his grip.) WALTER (To THEMIS) How can you be so calm? HesTHEMIS I have no need to fear. Right will prevail. Although human beings are by their very nature flawed, in the end(HERMAN slices her throat with her sword. Lights down.)

(CURTAIN)