7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others

inShare 355Email I m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you re not in this world to live up to mine. ?Bruce Lee The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expec tations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interac tions with others. Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frus tration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter. Which means it s time to 1. Stop expecting them to agree with you. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live a life you are excited about. Don t let the opinions of others make you forget that. You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in lif e, the less approval you need from everyone else. You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frighteni ng or strange that may feel or prove to be. Don t compare yourself to others. Do n t get discouraged by their progress or success. Follow your own path and stay t rue to your own purpose. Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way. 2. Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself. True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles. It s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it. Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should b e showing yourself. Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love you, and from now on I m goin g to act like it. It s important to be nice to others, but it s even more important to be nice to yourself. When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy. When you are happy, you become a better f riend, a better family member, and a better YOU. (Angel and I discuss this in m ore detail in the Self-Love chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful Peopl e Do Differently.) 3. Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you. You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to ano ther. Don t ever forget your worth. Spend time with those who value you. No mat ter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who cri ticizes you. Smile, ignore them, and carry on. In this crazy world that s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest bat tle you ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself. And as you re fighting back, not everyone will like you. Sometimes people will call you names because you re different. But that s perfectly OK. The things that make you different are th

e things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it. 4. Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are. Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves. When you sto p expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM. Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you wan t them to be. We don t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and tru ly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful. Every human bein g is remarkable and beautiful; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it. T he more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are. (Read The Mastery of Love. ) 5. Stop expecting them to know what you re thinking. People can t read minds. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them. Your boss? Yeah, he doesn t know you re hoping for a promotion because you haven t t old him yet. That cute guy you haven t talked to because you re too shy? Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn t given you the time of day simply because you haven t given hi m the time of day either. In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively. And oft en, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words. You have to te ll people what you re thinking. It s as simple as that. 6. Stop expecting them to suddenly change. If there s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you re hoping disappe ars over time, it probably won t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do. For the most part though, you can t change people and you shouldn t try. Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them. It s might sound harsh, but it s not. When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don t try to change them when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are they gradually change in the most beautiful way. Because what re ally changes is the way you see them. (Read A New Earth.) 7. Stop expecting them to be OK. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you. Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every b it as complex and extraordinary as your own. Remember that embracing your light doesn t mean ignoring your dark. We are measur ed by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not avoid them. Sup porting, sharing and making contributions to other people is one of life s greates t rewards. This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very sim ilar dreams, needs and struggles. Once we accept this, the world then is a plac e where we can look someone else in the eye and say, I m lost and struggling at the moment, and they can nod and say, Me too, and that s OK. Because not being OK all the time, is perfectly OK. Afterthoughts People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to. Hope for the best, but e xpect less. And remember, the magnitude of your happiness will be directly prop ortional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things. Even if a s ituation or relationship doesn t work out at all, it s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new. Your turn

What would you add to this post? What do you need to stop expecting from others ? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community.