HSchedule

appy
our
Rockin’ Out with

A200
Ft Myers

Derby
Girls

Claudie Auclair
and 5 Hot Swimsuit Models

You’ve Been
SCENE
Issue 1 1
2
3
 Contents

8 10

18
12 27
Cover Model: Crystal Hemphill

30 34

36 40

SCENE
THE

4 www.TheSceneOnline.com
 Letter from the Publisher
Welcome to The SCENE Magazine! I am excited to bring to you
the premier issue of SWFL’s hottest entertainment magazine.
We will be your source of local events that are going on in Lee &
Collier Counties, pictures of the hottest local people having fun
supporting our bars, clubs and restaurants and bring you editorial
that will pique your curiosity.

This issue features some very fun editorial content that I hope you
will enjoy and many more exciting stories to come. I was granted
back stage access to one of SWFL’s hottest rising local bands
A200, whom I admit I have a crush on. I also interviewed the Ft
Myers Roller Derby girls who are the ultimate tough girls in a very
physical sport who know how to have fun.

Mark your calendars for our launch party on October 17th starting at 10 p.m. Venu Nightclub in
downtown Fort Myers is our host for the event. We plan to throw a party this town will be buzzing
about for some time. See our ad on page 42. I hope to see you there!

I would also like to thank my friends and family for supporting me through this entire process. I
have such wonderful people in my life cheering me on and encouraging me to go after my dreams.

I appreciate you picking up our first issue and hope you enjoy the magazine!

Publisher Publisher Lisa Bornhorst

Art Director Nikole Martz

Do you like what we have done? Did we offend you in any way?
Photographer Fred Love
Do you have any ideas for editorial that you would like to see in
the upcoming issues? We would love to hear from you! Email Writers Lisa Bornhorst
us at mail@thesceneonline.com.
Tod Dahlke
2577 First Street Ft Myers FL 33901 Rolend Demers
Phone: 239-222-7015 Fax: 239-244-8938
Marshall Sheido
For advertising info: advertise@thesceneonline.com Contributing Doug Vosler
www.TheSceneOnline.com Photographers
Greg Richards

2009 The SCENE Magazine is published quarterly. All rights reserved. Matt Bornhorst
Reproduction in whole or in part of any content is strictly prohibited. Amber Johnston
The SCENE Magazine LLC, its officers, staff member or writers do not
warrant the accuracy of or resume responsibility for any of the material Graphic Artists Nikole Martz
contained herein. Assumes no financial responsibility for errors in ads
beyond the cost of the space occupied by error. Freelance photographers Cathi Bifano
are responsible for their copyrights. All photo material, letters and text Advertising Sales Lisa Bornhorst
submitted automatically become property of The SCENE Magazine, LLC.

5
 Song Artist Album
Black Eyed
I Gotta Feeling The E.N.D.
Peas
Party in the Party in the
Miley Cyrus
USA USA
Down Jay Sean Down
Whatcha Say Jason DeRulo Whatcha Say
Run This Town Jay-Z Run This Town
Only By The
Use Somebody Kings of Leon
Night
Good Girls Go
Cobra starship Hot Mess
Bad
Hotel Room Hotel Room
Pitbull
Service Service
She Wolf Shakira She Wolf
You Belong
Taylor Swift Fearless
With Me
Take a Bow Glee Cast Take a Bow
Jay-Z ft. Mr.
Young Forever The Blueprint 3
Hudson
Obsessed Mariah Carey Obsessed
Boom Boom Black Eyed
The E.N.D.
Pow Peas
One Time Justin Bieber One Time
Paparazzi Lady Gaga The Fame
Say Hey (I Love Michael Franti All Rebel
You) & Spearhead Rockers
Empire State of
Jay-Z The Blueprint 3
Mind
21st Century
21 Guns Green Day
Breakdown
Love Drunk Boys Like Girls Love Drunk

6
 ttie
s!
l l !
oc
a l H o
C a
ill ng
A l lL
in g
Ca
s t
C a
Think you’ve got what it takes to
grace the pages of
The SCENE?
Send an email to
Mail@TheSceneOnline.com
with “Casting Call” in the subject
line to receive information
on our next casting call!
www.TheSceneOnline.com

Advertise@TheSceneOnline.com
239-222-7015

Mention this
ad for 10%
off your
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7
8
9
 I have a
crush on
A200!
With Keith Clanton’s sexy
lead vocals and the way he
strums the acoustic guitar,
Vic Jimenez’s intricate bass
lines, the multi-talented
Bob Tabarrini on acoustic
or electric guitar, John
Housley’s amazing jam
out sessions and drummer
Ed Ziehm’s mind-blowing
rhythms, how could I not?
And you should have a
crush on them, too!

I recently had the amazing

opportunity to hang out
with the band while they
were setting up for their
Thursday night gig at The
Sandy Parrot and ask some
questions that many people
would like to know about
A200. Each of the band
members bring something
unique to the group that
has resulted in them being
obviously one of SWFL’s
hottest bands on the rise.
If you have never had the
pleasure to see them live,
then you need to get off your
ass and go see one of their
shows! They rock the house
at any venue they play with
amazing crowd participation
singing along to the tunes
and dancing their asses off.
They take great pride in their
professionalism and have
worked extremely hard to
get where they are and its
paying off for these guys.

Written By Lisa Bornhorst

10
 A200
Q- How did all band members
meet and become A200?
A- We were all in different bands
in the area for many years and
took the best of members of those
bands and formed one killer band
now known as A200.
Q-How do you get around to the
gigs?
A-We all meet at one location and
travel around in a big white bus
with a trailer that’s outfitted with
bunks and a fridge. We mash
ourselves in and have a party on
wheels!
Q-Are you living the rock star
dream?
A-I don’t think there is a rock star
dream for what we do. It’s a lot
of hard work to pull off what we
do and people don’t realize that
for us its 12-18 hour days. After
we are on stage we have to break
down the set and load up all the
gear. We don’t just show up at
the bar, go on stage, then leave
and party. We aren’t quite at that
level, but we are on our way!
Q-Where do you see the band in
5 years?
A-Looking to do management of
other bands, continue recording
and playing at bigger venues.
We would like to do more writing
of original tracks and selling
albums versus playing in bars
day in and day out. Don’t get me
wrong, playing in bars has helped
us grow our name, but it can be
very taxing being around bars
and drunk people every night.
Q-Do you have a record deal in
the works?
A-We are privately signed and
manage ourselves through an
independent label, we don’t have
any corporate big whigs telling us
what to do.
Q-Have you ever made out with
a groupie?
A-Every single one of them…
except for the guys!!
Q-Do you have a ritual before you
go on stage?
A-No particular ritual before we
go on stage, but we do try to joke
around and try and be positive
before going on stage and pump
each other up to set the tone for
the night.
Q-How did you come up with the
name A200?
A- Bob actually had an idea, we
were looking for something a
little funny and off the hook, so
we came across the medicine
called A200 which is actually a
medicine that is used to kill pubic
lice/crabs. We have a little crab
as our mascot, kinda silly I know!
Q-What is the craziest thing a
groupie has done?
A-Let’s just say each band
member gave me their craziest
story then afterwards they each
asked me to not retell the story.
Might not be a good public
relations idea, sorry folks!
Q-What is your favorite venue to
play at?
A-The Buddha all the way!!
Q-What do you love most about
what you do?
A-Writing and recording our own
original stuff. We work really hard
at what we do and to get to do this
with such a great group of guys is
a dream. How awesome is that
we get to do what we love!
If you would like to listen to full
versions of their original songs
visit www.A200.biz. You can
download from iTunes on their
website and you can purchase
CD’s at any of their live shows.
September 18th they released
their new CD “Stray From Here”
with a launch party at The Buddha
in Ft Myers. Check them out on
their website for dates of their
upcoming shows and tell them
The SCENE sent ya!!
11
12
Tampa Reo Speedwagon & Styx Alice Cooper Steve Miller Band
Clearwater Ford Amphitheatre Pompano Beach Hard Rock Live
St Petersburg At the Florida State Amphitheatre Tue, 11/17/09
Alice Cooper Fairgrounds Sat, 10/03/09 8:00 PM
Ruth Eckerd Hall Fri, 10/30/09 8:00 PM
Fri, 10/02/09 7:00 PM Miley Cyrus
8:00 PM The Black Crowes American Airlines Arena
Joshua Radin Pompano Beach Wed, 12/02/09
The Killers State Theatre Amphitheatre 7:00 PM
USF Sun Dome Tue, 11/10/09 Tue, 10/06/09
Fri, 10/02/09 6:00 PM 8:00 PM Orlando
8:00 PM The Australian Pink
Steve Miller Band Beastie Boys Floyd Show
Metallica Ruth Eckerd Hall Bayfront Park Hard Rock Live Orlando
St Pete Times Forum Wed, 11/18/09 Amphitheater Sun, 10/11/09
Sat, 10/03/09 8:00 PM Thu, 10/08/09 8:00 PM
7:00 PM 8:00 PM
Miley Cyrus Colbie Caillat
U2 360º Tour St Pete Times Forum Brad Paisley House of Blues Orlando
Raymond James Stadium Tue, 12/01/09 W/ Dierks Bentley and Tue, 10/20/09
Fri, 10/09/09 7:00 PM Jimmy Wayne 6:00 PM
7:00 PM Cruzan Amphitheatre
Ft Myers Sat, 10/17/09 Shinedown
Australian Pink Floyd All You Need Is Love 7:30 PM House of Blues Orlando
Ruth Eckerd Hall Beatles Musical Wed, 10/21/09
Fri, 10/09/09 Germain Arena Marc Anthony 6:45 PM
8:00 PM Fri, 10/02/09 & 10/3 American Airlines Arena
8:00 PM Sat, 10/24/09 Willie Nelson
Brad Paisley 8:00 PM King Center for the
W/ Dierks Bentley and Lynyrd Skynyrd Performing Arts
Jimmy Wayne Germain Arena REO Speedwagon Wed, 10/21/09
Ford Amphitheatre Thu, 10/22/09 and Styx 8:00 PM
At the Florida State 8:00 PM Cruzan Amphitheatre
Fairgrounds Sat, 10/31/09 Joshua Radin
Fri, 10/16/09 West Palm Beach 7:00 PM The Social Orlando
7:30 PM Ft Lauderdale Fri, 11/13/09
Miami Joshua Radin 8:00 PM
Willie Nelson Alan Jackson Culture Room
Ruth Eckerd Hall Hard Rock Live Wed, 11/11/09 AC/DC
Tue, 10/20/09 Thu, 10/01/09 7:30 PM Amway Arena
8:00 PM 7:30 PM Thu, 11/19/09
8:00 PM

13
 QUARTER F**KING BEER NITE

1528 Hendry St Fort Myers 239-980-7630

myspace.com/neolounge
Book your holiday party today at Neo Lounge!
14
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Ultra

The Edison
 Blue Martini

Reality TV Stars Photography Greg Richards Amber Johnston

239-645-9296 RealityTVStars@aol.com

17
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Fred Love Photography
19
Fred Love Photography
20
Fred Love Photography
21
Fred Love Photography
22
Fred Love Photography
23
Fred Love Photography
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26
DJ REVIEW By Roland Demers
D.J. R-ONE musical recipes that include D.J. Quest “Big Haiti” an awesome up and comer
As a seasoned D.J. from melodic ingredients such as Whether its his NYC flava D.J. Spiff.
Miami, I can speak of hip-hop, R&B, house, and or his southern stylistic
my experience without reggae along with other influences that your D.J. Showtime
adding color and to stay throw back genres at Venu, auditory canals long for. Yes! Even Italians have their
non-biased. My musical Ultra, and Noodles. This Haitian Sensation, who hands on the turntables
knowledge and data base has graced the club dogs when not stuffing cannolis
span over 3 decades of D.J. Big John with his musical presence in their mouth! This giggling
music memory. I will come Who can figure out what’s and charisma, can be heard guinea has got to be at the
at ya with 80’s retro, funk, going on in John’s head. at Bar Louie, Level, Eddie top of the D.J. totem pole
hip-hop, top 40’s, rock, If songs were bullets Fish Bowls and throughout here in Southwest Florida as
house and yes, even Latin you’d get shot at from all the air waves on the one he is responsible for many a
music as I am a cross-bred angles as they spun off his and only 105.5 The Beat. musically induced drunken
D.J. My local spots have turntables! He is by far one nights with girls hanging
included Envie, Venu, Blu of the greatest D.J.s ever. D.J. Griff Gotti on strip poles at Eddies.
Sushi, Cigar Bar, Dwyers, John’s name has become The “go against the grain” He is a true master of the
Vapianos and The Reserve synonymous with the local D.J. of Fort Myers and turntables and is always
Cigar & Wine Bar. dining pleasure palace Naples, this man is not a offering up new and exciting
known as Blu Sushi. As myth! He is very real and mixes for the club dogs.
D.J. 007 sushi chefs sharpen their quite the artistic blender of This music master can be
“The Chocolate knives, John prepares to music. Without D.J.s such as heard at Pearl and Level as
serve dessert by way of Griff Gotti we would be stuck well as other local watering
Boy Wonder” nostalgic 80’s, top 40’s, holes.
He single handedly masters on pause. So, if you want
hip-hop and R&B, mashups to experience unique vibes,
the art of mixing and
and house music. Always check him out at Level,
scratching and can be heard
an experience when he’s Privilege, Ultra or Pearl for
at local clubs in Naples and
spinning. slamming rhythms. He is
Fort Myers. You can witness
his gift of serving true usually in the company of

27
COLLABORATES WITH
LOUIS VUITTON
H
e has had a passion for fashion
ever since, as a child, he picked
out his outfits for kindergarten.
He has honed his style on stage
as a performer and in the front
row at fashion week. Now, the
multi award-winning producer and recording artist
Kanye West has teamed up with his favorite label
to create a collection of sneakers.
With this, one of his first forays into design,
Kanye West has not only fulfilled a long-standing
personal ambition, but has also brought his own
considerable experience to the project. “I think be-
cause I’ve worn so many shoes, and had to be on
stage and have shoes that were comfortable,and
put them with so many outfits, that I’ve become an
expert with gym shoes,” he says. “I didn’t want to
do a sneaker that just had my name on it. I wanted
to put in the proper amount of time and work to
come up with something that was inventive.”
The result is a daring and innovative collec-
tion that fuses Kanye West’s edgy urban aesthetic
with Louis Vuitton’s know-how and craftsmanship.
28
“It’s overwhelming. I feel like
I’m inside of a dream. Even
with all the music awards
that I’ve won, to be able to
do something so official with
the number one fashion house
in the world - you know, no
Grammy can buy you that.”
- Kanye West
The three styles − executed in suede, calfskin
or a patchwork of leathers, and in mostly neutral
colours − run the gamut from hi-top to low-top,
and are all designed, in Kanye West’s words, to
unite “form and function, and look good with a
pair of jeans”. All share strong signature details, in
particular a high padded heel flap into which the
wearer can tuck the back of his jeans, inspired by
a space-age jacket in the cult David Lynch movie
Dune, and a Monogram flower-embossed outsole

“I didn’t want to do a sneaker
that just had my name on it...”
which, though sturdy, feels surprisingly light and
flexible.
Don’s, named after Kanye West’s right-
hand man, is the rapper’s take on the classic lace-
up sneaker. In addition to the padded heel
flap, it features a tongue specifically
constructed to stand straight up,
creating a hip urban look. Previewed in eye-
popping red calfskin at Louis Vuitton’s Autumn/
Winter 2009-2010 fashion show in January, it
caused a sensation on the runway, and proved −
as Kanye West intended − that it looked as good
with formal wear as with dressed-down jeans.
Jaspers is Kanye West’s signature hi-top
sneaker, which comes with laces and padded Vel-
cro straps in black suede or off-white calfskin with
suede and patent leather trim. In addition, a flam-
boyant leather patchwork version sports suede
tassels with gold-finish accessories and a fluores-
cent pink outsole inspired by Japanese pop art.
The same tassels and fluorescent outsole
also feature on the leather patchwork version of
the third style, Mr Hudson, which gives the iconic
boat shoe an edgy street-style update. Named
after an artist who features on Kanye West’s lat-
est album, 808s & Heartbreak, Mr Hudson is also
available in bright white calfskin with patent trim.
Pietro Beccari, Louis Vuitton Senior Vice-
President, Communication and Marketing, is a
personal friend of Kanye West. He says: “Louis
Vuitton has always been in tune with its times,
manifesting its modernity through collaborations
with the greatest talents of each generation. Our
design partnership with Kanye West is a new
instance of this, which keeps Louis Vuitton at the
cutting edge of style and creativity.”
Yves Carcelle, CEO of Louis Vuitton,
comments: “We are delighted
that Kanye West accepted
our invitation to extend his
considerable creative talents
from music to design. He has
always been a good friend of
Louis Vuitton, with a keen sense of
personal style, and this impressive
debut fulfils an ambition he has
held for some time.”
The Kanye West col-
lection will be available in
Louis Vuitton stores
at the end of
2009.
29
 his Is
T How r n
y L
b isa
itte
orst W
Jersey Devil-
Teacher
How did you come up with your
alter ego?
I wanted something that
represented who I am. I grew
up surrounded by tales of the
jersey devil. He supposedly
lives near my home where route
666 originates. I have always
thought that I had two sides
30
Bornh
to myself (the evil and good
side) so 333 fit perfectly
cause I’m half evil.
What would you say to
someone thinking about
becoming a Derby Girl?
If you are ready to get hit, hit
back, fall down, get up, work
and play hard – it’s for you.
Anya Dixon –
Senior Account Executive for
a local direct marketing firm
Do you have battle scars?
Lots of little scars from “rink
rash”. I cross my fingers
every time I step on that
track. The injuries are real
and pain is not fun!
Give me 5 words that describe
the Derby Girls.
Strong, confident, unique,
athletic and sexy!
Velvet Revolver –
Marketing Manager
What are some preconceived
notions about the roller derby
from the 70’s until now?
That it is all staged or fake…
that’s not true!
How did you get involved with
the league?
I was doing research on
underground marketing for my
job and derby kept popping up.
As soon as I saw it I knew that I
was a perfect fit. All the rest is
history!
Te Kill Ya Sunshyne –
Medical Office Receptionist
How did you come up with your
alter ego?
Tequila is my husbands drink of
choice.
Do you ever apologize for
hitting someone?
Probably by accident or if I
know it was illegal.
The Alexoricist –
Super kick-ass awesome radio
personality on 99X
Are there any movies/music
that inspire your performance
For more info check out ww
 e Roll
w W
on the track?
The Donna’s “Get Rid of That
Girl”. I’m not a big fan of
The Donna’s, but that song is
freaking awesome and perfect
for us. Our mantra is in it…
“kill, kill, kill”
How did you come up with
your alter ego?
I asked my listeners to
brainstorm with me. There
were a bunch of cool ones.
My co-worker, Dumb Chris,
who was my traffic reporter
back then, came up with The
Alexorcist. I liked that one the
best. I figured I could go with
the whole barfing green and
head-spinning theme. Im evil!
French Made - Asst.
Branch Manager-Banking
Officer
What has been your greatest
accomplishment?
I would say setting record
attendance at our bouts (over
500 spectators) and what we
are doing to give back to the
community, such as working
ww.FortMyersDerbyGirls.com
rls Q&A
Derby Gi
s
ort
Myer
at the soup kitchen, doing a
food drive and promoting self
acceptance to young girls
in local schools. We have
fantastic sponsors and I think
the community is realizing that
this is great way to promote
their company and help FMDG
relay the message that you
don’t have to be a size 5 to
be a strong, positive member
in this world. Be proud of who
Wi
th The F
you are, we are!
What are the teams’ goals?
I know as the new PR person,
that we want to be a well known
name within our community
and be a force to be reckoned
with all over the country.
Klymaxxx –
Co-owner of Effective Marketing
& Creative
Is there a team that makes you
nervous?
I am nervous before every bout,
but once I get into the energy
of the competition, it doesn’t
really matter who I am playing
against.
Are there any movies/music
that inspires your performance
on the track?
Any high energy music like
Rage Against the Machine,
The Prodigy, etc. Music with
attitude gets me pumped up.
Visit their website for upcoming
events and appearances.
31
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33
Why Johnsons Are Better
Written By Marshall Sheido

Never in my 34 years has my Johnson made girls a little bit, I imagine a little variety might
me completely miserable once a month. I also be nice but at the end of the day there is
have never felt the need to curl up with my no substitute for the REAL thing. I will also
favorite type of bon bon and a dvd of “The testify to the “easy of use factor” of my party
Notebook” and cry myself to sleep because in the pants.
my Johnson was making me emotional
unstable. Never on a good nights drinking and
carousing have I found it difficult to find a
My Johnson, for all intensive purpose has two place to use the bathroom. A tree, a bush, and
functions, one to relieve me of my beer and if so brazen, a stop sign do well as places
two to make me and my significant other quite to get relief. Not so for our beautiful counter
happy. Some would say the Johnson could parts who have to run from crowded bar to
be replaced by alternative methods . I say us crowded bar praying that the line isn’t fifteen
guys have something going for us because girls deep. Girls may be able to bat there eyes
the bars still seem to be full of girls that enjoy and smile coyly and get what they want from
more than what can provided by the energizer us guys but when it comes to the women’s
bunny. If you catch my drift. I’m with you restroom no amount of sex appeal is going

34
to get you to the front of THAT line. What’s
a girl to do but find a place to squat. Guys
usually have their pack of drunk buddies
laughing behind them as they water a bush.
I have never seen a pack of ladies cheering
on a girl who had the misfortune of not
finding a restroom and had to let loose in
public. Kind of a party killer if you ask me.
I have also had the misfortune of walking
into the men’s bathroom only to find a lady
sitting in a urinal before she’s about to
burst. At that point, I thanked my lucky stars
for my Johnson. Sitting in a urinal looks
VERY uncomfortable especially when a
perspective Johnson comes walking in.
If all this weren’t enough to prove the
supremacy of the male persuasion. There
is the matter of “entry” and “exit”. At no
time do I feel the need to have anything
larger than my stream leave my body.
After witnessing child birth I am forever a
advocate of the Johnson and if you ladies
were asked whilst in the act of birth, I
believe, (after you ripped my head off for
asking a question and not providing a well
timed ice chip for the lips) you would agree.
. . . . . . . . . .
Why Boobs Are Better
Written By Lisa Bornhorst
Unless I have to pee in the woods, I never
regret the day I was born a girl. These days,
being a female is pretty damn wonderful.
We can exploit our own stereotypes. Don’t
want to build that IKEA desk or fix the
leaky faucet? That’s cool, cause as girls,
we can just claim that we’re incompetent
and make a guy do it. Rosie the Riveter and
her compatriots might get pissy about this
method of action, but I’m not undermining
girl power. Fixing things sucks. Why not
outsource?
We don’t have weak spots. Gee, I’m sorry
that you got kicked in the balls. And you
zipped your penis in your jeans? I’ve heard
that that really hurts. Unfortunately, I can’t
really commiserate because I don’t have a
particularly sensitive body part dangling
off of my person. No, breasts are not an
equivalent.
We’ve got what you want. Guys will always
end up falling all over themselves to keep us
happy, cause they’re lost without the poon.
When it comes down to it, your right hand
just doesn’t hold up in the face of a real-live
girl. God knows you guys try, though.
We’re sexy, and sex sells. All we have to do
is show a little cleavage, stick our butts out,
and bat our eyes. Bingo! We move up to the
front of the line, get bigger discounts, and
get freebies. It might be manipulative and
morally suspicious, but that hasn’t stopped
us.
We can cover up our imperfections. Thanks
to makeup, hair dye, and all sorts of
cosmetic procedures, we can cover up the
blemishes and the grey hair. I don’t care
if they make man makeup…that is never
acceptable. And Rogaine is just kind of sad.
We can exceed expectations. Every time
a girl says something intelligent or witty,
people generally seem to be a lot more
surprised and appreciative of our opinions
and knowledge. It can be a pain in the ass,
but I kind of enjoy being awesome and
getting way more credit than usual for it.
The mother of them all…multiple orgasms.
There is seriously no way that a guy could
claim he would prefer one messy, sticky
orgasm to what we’ve got: as many as we
want, with no recovery time and no need
for stain remover. In fact, it is somewhat of
a letdown when we’re ready to go for round
two and you need a break.
35
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**Call before for confirmation of happy hour specials. The SCENE is not responsible for any incorrect information.**

40
41

Come get screwed!
THE SCENE’s
Premiere launch party
October 17th @10 pm
No cover before 11:30
$2 Sexy Drinks all night long
$3 Beers
$3 SCENE Shot specials
$100 bottles with early reservation
$5 Premium Vodka Drinks
www.VenuFtMyers.com
239-770-8368
2278 First St
Fort Myers
42
CLUB REVIEW By Roland Demers
HIP-HOP
The Flavor of Hip Hop, or as D.J Griff Gotti has
dubbed his serving “Sunday Soup”, can be
consumed beat by beat in MASSIVE Portions
as D.J.s 007, Showtime, KS-1, Quest and yours
truly to name a few, throw the beats to the “Club
Dogs” and bitches on dance floors every night
of the week. The Ft.Myers & Naples club scene
is truly fortunate to have such a world class
choice of DJs in this humble part of America.
These technical artisans help take away the
daily stresses if but just for a moment. Thank
you gentlemen.
LIVE MUSIC
Wanna smoke a “stogie” while ingesting some
local live entertainment, then stop by the
Reserve Cigar & Wine Bar and enjoy one or
both on any given night as they offer a great
backdrop for an enjoyable evening. How can I
speak of live entertainment without mentioning
the Buddha Bar a local watering hole known
hands down as the place to be for live rock
concerts. For a more laid back scene and a
glimpse at a lush tropical golf course , take a
short scenic ride down McGregor to The Edison
on a Wednesday night where they are known for
their famous ladies night.
HOUSE MUSIC
After 30 years of life in Miami the last thing I
thought I’d find in Fort Myers and Naples was a
house scene. Well Big John, T-Mac, Chris Dez,
Craig Mac and an army of House DJs, all of
which have my mind constantly absorbing new
and epic mixes, have shown me just how wrong
I was. House music can be heard at places like
Blu Sushi, Privelege and a new to the scene
heavy hitter, Blue Martini.
LATIN MUSIC
Being that I am a self proclaimed, “CRICK”
meaning half cracker half spic. D.J. Cristian is
a proven musical servant of salsa, merengue,
bachata, vallenato and reggaetton, to name a
few. Latin genres can be heard at Neo Lounge,
Ultra Night Club and Venu. Let’s not forget DJs
Gero, Ezzy, and DJ Eric who also offer up a
quality blend of latin mixes at local clubs such
as SALSA Nightclub and Pearl Lounge.
 Discount Limo Service
Finally you can impress your friends and arrive in style
without going broke. Limo service now available for $30/
hour for any event, at any time, to anywhere.

• Sporting Events
• Restaurants
• Clubs
• Golf Courses
• Malls
• Doctor’s
Appointments
• Airports
• Out of Town Trips

You call us at 239-244-7399 and we’ll take you there!

If you’ve had too much to drink, we’ll take you home.
Cocktails, champagne, and soft drinks available upon request.

Driver’s tip not included. Suggested $10-$20/hour.

Reserve ahead or call us when you need us.

43
 T
he scene is set.
You’re in a bar with
your friends, and
everyone’s having a few
drinks. A few drinks lead
to a few more drinks, and
the next thing you know
your drunk. You’re chat-
ting happily and laughing
at just about everything.
You make a quick run to
the bathroom, check your
hair in the mirror and
head back to the party.
Yet, something catches
your eye... buried deep
within the confines of
your pocketbook or jacket pocket. It’s your cell-
phone. Ah, yes the cell-phone. A drunk person’s best
friend ... or worst enemy? We’ve all been there at one
point or another—you wake up the next morning to
a cell-phone that looks the same but holds within its
outbox /inbox a world of revealed secrets, gossip
and general disorder. Here are texts that were sent
to us anonymously from local drunks that we just
had to share:
• Haha! she couldn’t find her dress in the morning.
So she left it. How the hell do I discreetly return
that to her at work. More importantly, how did
she discreetly do the walk of shame??
• I assumed I was wet when I woke up because the
tent leaked during the downpour, but then I later
realized that she pissed on me, the air mattress
and the sleeping bag at some point after we
passed out
• You know whats crazy. I’m at a table in a cafe
having breakfast with my family. I spewed half an
hour ago, and I have no idea where my under-
wear are!
• My girlfriend went down on me and as she did
she hummed the theme from star wars and pre-
tended my d*@k was a lightsaber...I’m buying the
engagement ring tomorrow!
• What a fantastic night, I drank beer from a wine
bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell
from the top of a fence
• I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when
the words “dibs on the chunky one” came out of
your mouth.

Did you send or receive a text from last night you

want to share anonymously?
Email us at mail@thesceneonline.com
EXPIRES 11/15/09

44
 Master

GAMES
DRINKING
Mixology

Johnny Vegas
1/3 shot Jose Cuervo Gold
1/3 shot raspberry pucker
1/3 shot red bull
Mix all three in a shaker (don’t shake too hard,
red bull will bubble too much) with ice and
strain into a shot glass. Should come out an
orange color if made correctly.

Gummy Worm
Circle of Death 1 part raspberry vodka
You need: A deck of cards and 4+ people 1 part apple pucker
Spread a deck of cards out into a circular 1 part sour mix
shape. One persons chooses a card and the 1 part cranberry juice
person to their left chooses a card. If the cards Mix into a shaker over ice and strain into a
are of the same suit, you add up the values of shot glass
the two cards and the two people drink for that
many seconds. If they aren’t the same suit, then White Lightning
the first person puts their card in a discard pile 1 part Raspberry vodka
and the player to Player #2’s left draws a card. 1 part pink lemonade
If more than two cards of the same suit are Slice of lemon
drawn in a row, add all the values up and all of Combine raspberry lemonade and vodka in a
the players must drink. shaker and poor over ice. Add lemon slice.
Drink quickly!
Smile
You need: Approx 6-8 guys or girls (all one sex Scooby Snack
or mixed, for that matter) Splash of Lemon Lime Soda
You sit around a table with a table cloth that 1/2 shot of Banana Liqueur
hangs to the floor. The participants drop their 1/2 shot of Melon Liqueur
pants to their ankles and a willing person goes 1 1/2 ounce shot coconut Rum
under the table to do whatever s/he wishes. Combine with ice or strain as a shot
The first “player” to smile has to drink.

Blow Off
You need: A deck of cards and 2+ people
Put a whole stack of cards on top of a beer
bottle. Going around in a circle, the object of
the game is to blow just one card off at a time.
If a person blows more than one card off, they
have to drink that many gulps of their drink.
When you run out of card, restack them.

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