SELECTED QUOTATIONS

RELIGION
In those parts of the world where learning and science have prevailed, miracles have ceased; but in those parts of it as are barbarous and ignorant, miracles are still in vogue.-- Ethan Allen, Reason, the Only Oracle of an !"#$%& 'rom the point of view of a tapeworm, man was created by (od to serve the appetite of the tapeworm.-- Edward Abbey, from )o* +lamantis In ,eserto Isaac Asimov- One man.s religion is another mans. belly laugh. Ernest /emingway- All thin0ing men are atheists. 1o, I.ll out myself. I.m an Atheist. I don.t believe in (od, (ods, (odlets or any sort of higher power beyond the universe itself, which seems 2uite high and powerful enough to me. I don.t believe in life after death, channeled chat rooms with the dead, reincarnation, tele0inesis or any miracles but the miracle of life and consciousness, which again stri0e me as miracles in nearly obscene abundance. I believe that the universe abides by the laws of physics, some of which are 0nown, others of which will surely be discovered, but even if they aren.t, that will simply be a result, as my colleague (eorge 3ohnson put it, of our brains having evolved for life on this one little planet and thus being inevitably limited. I.m convinced that the world as we see it was shaped by the again genuinely miraculous, let.s even say transcendent, hand of evolution through natural selection.-- 4atalie Angier, 5+onfessions of a 6onely Atheist,5 in 4ew 7or0 8imes aga9ine, 3anuary "%, :;;" If only (od would give me some clear sign< 6i0e ma0ing a large deposit in my name at a 1wiss ban0.-- =oody Allen, 51elections from the Allen 4oteboo0s,5 in 4ew 7or0er, 4ov. >, "?#@ Arnaud-Amaury, abbot of +iteau*, ":;? - Aill them all; for (od 0noweth them that are /is. !8ue9-les tous; ,ieu reconnaitra les siens.& -- Arnaud-Amaury, when as0ed by the +rusaders what to do with the citi9ens of Be9iers who were a mi*ture of +atholics and +athars ... it seems that everything we see in the world can be accounted for by other principles, supposing (od did not e*ist. 'or all natural things can be reduced to one principle, which is nature, and all voluntary things can be reduced to one principle, which is human reason, or will. 8herefore there is no need to suppose (od.s e*istence.-- 8homas A2uinas,

I distrust those people who 0now so well what (od wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. -- 1usan B. Anthony. In "$?C 5Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.5 1eneca Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence; it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.5 Bertrand Russell 5=hen the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. 8hey said, .6et us pray.. =e closed our eyes. =hen we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.5 Bishop ,esmond 8utu 8herefore, if the earthly power errs, it shall be Dudged by the spiritual power ... but if the supreme spiritual power errs it can be Dudged only by (od, and not by man ... 8herefore we declare, state, define and pronounce that it is altogether necessary to salvation for every human creature to be subDect to the Roman pontiff.-- Eope Boniface )III, in the "@;: bull Fnam 1anctam 5All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.5 1tendhal 'or seventeen hundred years the +hristian sect has done nothing but harm5 )oltaire 5Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thin0s he believes and wishes he was certain5 ar0 8wain 8he church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of e*ample5 ar0 8wain 5Religion has caused more harm than any other idea since the beginning of time. 8here.s nothing good I can say about it. Eeople use it as a crutch.5 6arry 'lynt If there is a (od, atheism must seem to /im as less of an insult than religion. Edmond de (oncourt 1uppose we.ve chosen the wrong god. !Anonimous& Es0imo- 5If I did not 0now about (od and sin, would I go to hellG5 Eriest- 54o, not if you did not 0now.5 Es0imo- 58hen why did you tell meG5 Annie ,illard 4o man ever believes that the Bible means what it says- /e is always convinced that it says what he means5 (eorge Bernard 1haw

=hen we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. =e cease to grow.5 Anais 4in 8hose who say religion has nothing to do with politics do not 0now what religion is.5 ahatma (andhi 5Religion is an insult to human dignity. =ith or without it, you.d have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it ta0es religion.5 1teven =einberg 5=e have Dust enough religion to ma0e us hate, but not enough to ma0e us love one another.5 3onathan 1wift 5I fear one day I.ll meet (od, he.ll snee9e and I won.t 0now what to say.5 Ronnie 1ha0es 58he tendency to turn human Dudgments into divine commands ma0es religion one of the most dangerous forces in the world.5 (eorgia /ar0ness =e can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.5 ,alai 6ama H=hat has .theology. ever said that is of the smallest use to anybodyG =hen has .theology. ever said anything that is demonstrably true and is not obviousG =hat ma0es you thin0 that .theology. is a subDect at allGI Richard ,aw0ins I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.5 Richard ,aw0ins 5=hen fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.5 1inclair 6ewis 5/obbies of any 0ind are boring e*cept to people who have the same hobby. !8his is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.&5 ,ave Barry 8he problem with writing about religion is that you run the ris0 of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.5 ,ave Barry ,avid /ume. .It is an absurdity to believe that the ,eity has human passions and one of the lowest of human passions, a restless appetite for applause. 1helly. .Reasonable people do not re2uire religious belief. +hristianity is unreasonable and incredible..

+harles Bradlaugh. .I do not deny (od because that word conveys to me no idea. I cannot war with a 4on-entity.. ,avid 3en0ins, former Bishop of ,urham . . 4othing in the 4ew 8estament can be regarded as certain. 8he Reverend ,on +upitt .=e cannot save (od, for (od is dead.. Jenophon of +olophon- .If o*en or lions or horses had hands li0e men, they too, if they could fashion pictures or statues they could hew, they would shape in their own image each face and form divine- /orses gods li0e horses. In the very recent past, we have seen the +hurch of Rome befouled by its complicity with the unpardonable sin of child rape, or, as it might be phrased in 6atin form, 5no child.s behind left.5 !+hristopher /itchens- (od is not great& +icero. .8here are no miracles. =hat was incapable of happening never happened, and what was capable of happening is not a miracle. Eierre +harron. .=e are circumcised or baptised - 3ews or - before we 0now we are human beings. uslims or +hristians

,iderot. .Eeople who believe it is a god and not laws that ma0e men honest are but little advanced.. Baron ,./olbach. .8o spea0 of soul or immaterial or supernatural is to create an imaginary world beyond e*perience, conceptually incoherent and unproductive of future 0nowledge.. If triangles were intelligent their (od would be eminently triangular. !Baruch 1pino9a& KK3.B.1. /aldane was once as0ed what the study of biology could tell one about the Almighty. 5I.m really not sure,5 said /aldane, 5e*cept that /e must be inordinately fond of beetles.5 8here are thought to be at least @;;,;;; species of beetles. By contrast there are only about ";,;;; species of birds. LL 'rancis +ric0 5Erayer and arsenic will 0ill a cow.5 )oltaire 5I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.5 'ormer slave 'rederic0 ,ouglass. =ell, I tell you, if I have been wrong in my agnosticism, when I die I.ll wal0 up to (od in a manly way and say, 1ir, I made an honest mista0e. --/. 6. enc0en

5A dead atheist is someone who.s all dressed up with no place to go.5 --3ames ,uffecy =hen the non-s0eptic says, 5you.re Dust closed-minded to the un0nown forces of the universe,5 the s0eptic responds- 5=e.re still trying to understand the 0nown forces of the universe.5 =/7 EEOE6E BE6IE)E =EIR, 8/I4(1Eseudoscience, 1uperstition, and Other +onfusions of Our 8ime, by ichael 1hermer !"??#, =. /. 'reeman& 5A +hristian is one who believes the 4ew 8estament is a divinely inspired boo0 admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.5 --Ambrose Bierce Religion, to a large e*tent, became divisive rather than unifying forces. Instead of bringing about an ending of violence and hatred through a reali9ation of the fundamental oneness of all life, they brought more violence and hatred, more divisions between people as well as between different religions and even within the same religion. 8hey became ideologies, belief systems people could identify with and so use them to enhance their false sense of self. 8hrough them, they could ma0e themselves 5right5 and others 5wrong5 and thus define their identity through their enemies, the 5others,5 the 5nonbelievers5 or 5wrong believers5 who not infre2uently they saw themselves Dustified in 0illing. E+A/AR8 8O66E, A 4ew Earth I.ve never understood how (od could e*pect his creatures to pic0 the one true religion by faith M it stri0es me as a sloppy way to run a universe. ROBER8 A. /EI46EI4, 1tranger in a 1trange 6and 1ince it is no longer permissible to disparage any single faith or creed, let us start disparaging all of them. 8o be clear- an ideology is a belief system with an inade2uate basis in reality; a religion is a belief system with no basis in reality whatever. Religious belief is without reason and without dignity, and its record is near-universally dreadful. It is straightforward M and never mind, for now, about plagues and famines- if (od e*isted, and if /e cared for human0ind, /e would never have given us religion. AR8I4 A I1, 58he )oice of the 6onely +rowd,5 8he (uardian, 3un. ", :;;: ,ifference of opinion is advantageous in religion. 8he several sects perform the office of a censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainableG illions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of +hristianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch toward uniformity. =hat has been the effect of coercionG 8o ma0e one-half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. 8/O A1 3E''ER1O4, 4otes on )irginia

Of all the animosities which have e*isted among man0ind, those which are caused by a difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought most to be deprecated. (EOR(E =A1/I4(8O4 +ivili9ation will not attain to its perfection until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest. E I6E NO6A A man.s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. an would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death. A6BER8 EI418EI4, 4ew 7or0 8imes aga9ine, 4ovember ?, "?@; Religion, n. A daughter of /ope and 'ear, e*plaining to Ignorance the nature of the Fn0nowable. A BRO1E BIER+E, 8he ,evil.s ,ictionary It is hard for many people to give up the religion in which they were born; to admit that their fathers were utterly mista0en, and that the sacred records of their country are but collections of myths and fables. ROBER8 (REE4 I4(ER1O66, 1ome ista0es of oses If the people were a little more ignorant, astrology would flourish -- if a little more enlightened, religion would perish. ROBER8 (REE4 I4(ER1O66, 1ome ista0es of oses Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires. 1I( F4, 'REF,, 4ew Introductory 6ectures on Esychoanalysis

POLITICS
5Eolitics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.5 Richard Armour 5Eatriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.5 ar0 8wain 6ord 1andwich, E and 3ohn =il0es, E, were political allies. 6ater, they distanced from each other. =il0es attac0ed 6ord 1andwich from his newspaper; the baron replied by attempting a maneuver to have =il0es removed from Earliament. In the worst of the hostilities, the following dialogue is recorded in the /ansards of Earliament-

6ord 1andwich- 7ou will die of a po* !sifilis&, sir, or on the gallows. =il0es- 8hat depends, sir, on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles. In addition of being a statesman !Oueen )ictoria.s 8ory Erimer inister until "$$;& BenDamin ,israeli was a writer of considerable ability and a very sharp intellect. 6oo0ing for a demonstration of his ready wit, one day a lady as0ed him-=hat is the difference between a misfortune and a calamityG ,israeli- If r. (ladstone !Britain.s 6iberal Erime inister "$C$-"$#%& were to fall in the 8hames, it would be a misfortune, but if someone were to pull him out, it would be a calamity. !'rom 3ames 8hurber.s 58he Beast in e and other animals5& Fnder democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, are right --/. 6. enc0en 58here is no way to peace. Eeace is the way.5 -- ohandas ! ahatma& (andhi +hurchillany forms of (overnment have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. 4o one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government e*cept all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. !1peech in the /ouse of +ommons -"?%#-""-""& 'rom 1tettin in the Baltic to 8rieste in the Adriatic an iron curtain has descended across the +ontinent. !On 1oviet communism and the +old =ar, speech at 'ulton, issouri -"?%C-;@-;>& 8he obDect of presenting medals, stars, and ribbons is to give pride and pleasure to those who have deserved them. !1peech in the /ouse of +ommons -"?%%-;@::& 4ow this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. !1peech given after the British defeat of the (erman Afri0a Aorps at the 1econd Battle of El Alamein in Egypt -"?%:-""-";& 5I much prefer to ma0e predictions after the event has happened.5 8he people with one voice would say- 57ou have committed every crime under the sun. =here you have been the least resisted there you have been the most brutal. It was you who began the indiscriminate bombing. =e will have no truce or parley with you, or the grisly gang who wor0 your wic0ed will. 7ou do your worst - and we will do our best.5 !"?%"& 8he gratitude of every home in our Island, in our Empire, and indeed throughout the world, e*cept in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the =orld =ar by their prowess and by their devotion. 4ever in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. All hearts go

out to the fighter pilots, whose brilliant actions we see with our own eyes day after dayP !:;.$."?%; +ommons& 6et us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its +ommonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, .8his was their finest hour.. !1peech in the /ouse of +ommons -"?%;-;C-"$& =e shall go on to the end, we shall fight in 'rance, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subDugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British 'leet, would carry on the struggle, until, in (od.s good time, the 4ew =orld, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old. !1peech in the /ouse of +ommons -% 3une "?%;& I would say to the /ouse, as I said to those who have Doined this (overnment- .I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.. =e have before us an ordeal of the most grievous 0ind. =e have before us many, many long months of struggle and suffering. 7ou as0, what is our policyG I can say- It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that (od can give us- to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dar0, lamentable catalogue of human crime. 8hat is our policy. 7ou as0, what is our aimG I can answer in one word- It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival. !1peech in the /ouse of +ommons, after ta0ing office as Erime inister -"@ ay "?%;& I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma- but perhaps there is a 0ey. 8hat 0ey is Russian national interest. !1peech broadcast on "?@?-";-;"& /itler is a monster of wic0edness, insatiable in his lust for blood and plunder. 4ot content with having all Europe under his heel, or else terrori9ed into various forms of abDect submission, he must now carry his wor0 of butchery and desolation among the vast multitudes of Russia and of Asia. 8he terrible military machine, which we and the rest of the civilised world so foolishly, so supinely, so insensately allowed the 4a9i gangsters to build up year by year from almost nothing cannot stand idle lest it rust or fall to pieces... 1o now this bloodthirsty guttersnipe must launch his mechani9ed armies upon new fields of slaughter, pillage and devastation. !Radio broadcast on the (erman invasion of Russia -3une "?%"& If /itler invaded /ell I would ma0e at least a favourable reference to the devil in the /ouse of +ommons. !1peech after the (erman invasion of the 1oviet Fnion -3une "?%"& It is alarming and also nauseating to see r. (andhi, a seditious iddle 8emple lawyer of the type well-0nown in the East, now posing as a fa0ir, striding half na0ed up the steps of the )iceregal palace to parley on e2ual terms with the

representative of the Aing-Emperor. !+omment on (andhi.s meeting with the )iceroy of India -"?@"& r. (andhi has gone very high in my esteem since he stood up for the untouchablesP I do not care whether you are more or less loyal to (reat BritainP 8ell r. (andhi to use the powers that are offered and ma0e the thing a success. !6etter, "?@>& I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the blac0 people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and ta0en their place. !8o the Ealestine Royal +ommission -"?@#& Britain and 'rance had to choose between war and dishonour. 8hey chose dishonour. 8hey will have war. !8o 4eville +hamberlain in the /ouse of +ommons, after the unich accords -"?@$& Always remember, however sure you are that you could easily win, that there would not be a war if the other man did not thin0 he also had a chance. It is sheer affectation to lacerate a man with the poisonous fragment of a bursting shell and to boggle at ma0ing his eyes water by means of lachrymatory gas. I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes. 8he moral effect should be so good that the loss of life should be reduced to a minimum. It is not necessary to use only the most deadly gases- gases can be used which cause great inconvenience and would spread a lively terror and yet would leave no serious permanent effects on most of those affected... =e cannot, in any circumstances ac2uiesce to the non-utilisation of any weapons which are available to procure a speedy termination of the disorder which prevails on the frontier. 8he truth is incontrovertible. Eanic may resent it, ignorance may deride it, malice may distort it, but there it is. =hat is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to ma0e this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are goneG If you wanted nothing done at all, Balfour was the man for the Dob. !end of +hurchill& Oualities a politician re2uire- 8he ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, ne*t wee0, ne*t month, ne*t year. And to have the ability afterwards to e*plain why it didn.t happen. 8hose who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.5 Elato

IDEAS
'riedrich 4iet9sche, 5I.m not upset that you lied to me, I.m upset that from now on I can.t believe you.5 H8he e*istence of forgetting has never been proved- =e only 0now that some things don.t come to mind when we want them.I 'riedrich 4iet9sche H8o the world, you may Dust be someone. But to someone, you may be the world5. !Anonimous& 1cientists and educators ali0e need to reali9e that the educated person is not the person who can answer the 2uestions, but the person who can 2uestion the answers. !8heodore 1chic0, 3r. 'ilQsofo, Eennsylvania "??#& ,arwin- .,isbelief crept over me ... I have never since doubted even for a single second that my conclusion was correct.. A banana is one of the wonders of the world. 7ou could say that of any living obDect, and I could stop there. But I won.t. A banana is a fruit, shaped by natural selection to be palatable, hence eaten and its seeds dispersed. But the bananas we eat are seedless. Artificial breeding has enhanced nature.s means !palatability& while eliminating nature.s end !seed dispersal&. It.s a metaphor for much that is special about humans. !R ,aw0ins& 58here but for the grace of (od,5 said 3ohn Bradford in the si*teenth century, on seeing wretches led to e*ecution, 5go I.5 =hat this apparently compassionate observation really meansMnot that it really 5means5 anythingMis, 58here by the grace of (od goes someone else.5 !+hristopher /itchens- (od is not (reat& 51ometimes I thin0 we.re alone in the universe, and sometimes I thin0 we.re not. In either case the idea is 2uite staggering.5 M Arthur +. +lar0e Eythagoras refuted astrology by the simple means of pointing out that identical twins do not have the same future. I further 0now that the 9odiac was drawn up long before several of the planets in our solar system had been detected, and of course I understand that I could not be 5shown5 my immediate or long-term future without this disclosure altering the outcome. 8housands of people consult their 5stars5 in the newspapers every day, and then have unpredicted heart attac0s or traffic accidents. !An astrologer of a 6ondon tabloid was once fired by means of a letter from his editor which began, 5As you will no doubt have foreseen.5& In his inima oralia, 8heodore Adorno identified the interest in starga9ing as the consummation of feeble-mindedness. !+hristopher /itchens- (od is not (reat&

8he purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enDoy yourself and live.I Ayn Rand ,aw0insR 6aw of the +onservation of ,ifficulty states that obscurantism in an academic subDect e*pands to fill the vacuum of its intrinsic simplicityI Richard ,aw0ins In the nineteenth century the famous 'rench mathematician, 6agrange, once appeared before a learned society to e*plain a proof he had wor0ed out for a previously unsolved problem. 4o sooner had he started to read his paper than he suddenly stopped tal0ing, frowned, then folded his papers and remar0ed, 5(entlemen, I must thin0 further about this.5 ! artin (ardner, 'ads and 'allaciesP.& An armed society is a polite society. --Robert A. /einlein, 5Beyond 8his /ori9on5 !"?%$&

HUMOR
=i0ipedia!/eywood& Broun was 0nown as a fairly decent drama critic. /owever, he once classified (eoffrey 1teyne as the worst actor on the American stage. 1teyne sued Broun, but a Dudge threw the case out. 8he ne*t time Broun reviewed a production with 1teyne in the cast, he left the actor out of the review. /owever, in the final sentence, he wrote, 5 r. 1teyne.s performance was not up to its usual standard.5 5Eosterity is as li0ely to be wrong as anybody else5 !/eywood Broun& H/e has occasional flashes of silence that ma0e his conversation perfectly delightfulI !1ydney 1mith on historian 6ord 8homas B. acaulay& A =O A4 A6O4E =I8/ /ER 1OF6 A woman is sitting alone in a house. 1he 0nows she is alone in the whole world- every other living thing is dead. 8he doorbell rings. !8homas Bailey Aldrich -"$@C S "?;#& Reproduced from 8he Boo0 of 'antasy, which too0 it from Aldrich.s =or0s, )ol. ?, "?":.&

HFna muDer estT sentada sola en una casa. 1abe 2ue no hay nadie mTs en el mundo- todos los otros seres han muerto. (olpean a la puerta.I 8homas Bailey Aldrich- =or0s, vol. ?, pTg. @%" !"?":&. A flea and a fly in a flue, =ere imprisoned; now what could they doG 1aid the fly, 5let us flee.5 56et us fly,5 said the flea, And they flew through a flaw in the flue. 8here once was a fellow O.,oole =ho found some red spots on his tool /is ,octor a cynic said HOut of me clinic, and wipe off that lipstic0, you fool<I 8here was a young plumber of 6eigh =ho was plumbing a girl by the sea. 1aid the girl H1top your plumbing, 8hereRs somebody comingI. HI 0now,I said the plumber, HitRs me.I 8here once was a maid from adras =ho had a magnificent ass. 4ot rounded and pin0, as you.d possibly thin0; It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass. 7oung psychic midget named arge =ent to Dail with the most heinous charge But despite loc0 and 0ey 8he ne*t day she bro0e free And the headlines said 51mall edium at 6arge5. I dined with the ,uchess of 6ee, =ho as0ed- 5,o you fart when you peeG5 I said with some wit5,o you belch when you shitG5 And felt it was one up to me. 8here once was a girl named Irene, who lived on distilled 0erosene. But she started absorbin. A new hydrocarbon, And since then she has never ben9ene<

A canny young fisher named 'isher Once fished from the edge of a fissure. A fish with a grin Eulled the fisherman in --4ow they.re fishing the fissure for 'isher. 8here was an old man of 4antuc0et =ho 0ept all his cash in a buc0et; But his daughter, named 4an Ran away with a man -And as far as the buc0et, 4antuc0et. A man doesn.t 0now what happiness is until he.s married. By then it.s too late. 'RA4A 1I4A8RA, 8he 3o0er Is =ild =hen a man marries a woman, they become one--the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. +RO'8 . EE48N, 8he +omplete Boo0 of Ningers =ar doesn.t determine who.s right. =ar determines who.s left. I am the ghost of +hristmas 'uture Eerfect 1ubDunctive- I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways< !Anonymous& 8hose people who thin0 they 0now everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. !Isaac Asimov& RO A4+E A8/E A8I+1 1mart man U smart woman V romance 1mart man U dumb woman V affair ,umb man U smart woman V marriage ,umb man U dumb woman V pregnancy O''I+E ARI8/ E8I+ 1mart boss U smart employee V profit 1mart boss U dumb employee V production ,umb boss U smart employee V promotion ,umb boss U dumb employee V overtime 1/OEEI4( A8/ A man will pay W: for a W" item he needs. A woman will pay W" for a W: item that she doesn.t need. (E4ERA6 EOFA8IO41 X 18A8I18I+1 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who ma0es more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. /AEEI4E11 8o be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 8o be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 6O4(E)I87 arried men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. EROEE41I87 8O +/A4(E A woman marries a man e*pecting he will change, but he doesn.t. A man marries a woman e*pecting that she won.t change, and she does. ,I1+F11IO4 8E+/4IOFE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. /O= 8O 18OE EEOE6E 'RO BF((I4( 7OF ABOF8 (E88I4( ARRIE,Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, po0ing me in the ribs and cac0ling, telling me, 57ou.re ne*t.5 8hey stopped after I start doing the same thing to them at funerals. Aetchup5If you don.t sha0e the bottle, nothing comes, and then a lottle.5

,ance58he perpendicular e*pression of an hori9ontal desire5 !(. Bernard 1haw& 58he woman has to do everything the man does, bac0wards, and in high heels.5 British producer ichael Balcon- 5 y personal impression is that most ballets would be absolutely delightful, if it not were for the dancing.5 5Eeople are made to be loved and things to be used. 8hat is why there is so much chaos in the world- because things are being loved and people being used5. 5I have met with some hard boiled eggs in my life, but you are twenty minutes.5 If the minimum wasn.t acceptable it wouldn.t be called the minimum. --(eorge uncaster 7ou can.t have everything. =here would you put itG --1teven =right

/umor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man.s superiority to all that befalls him. --Romain (ary 8he older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. --/. 6. enc0en 'or every comple* problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. --/. 6. enc0en 'or every comple* problem, there is a simple answer... and it is wrong. 8wain y second favorite household chore is ironing. the top bun0 bed until I faint. --Erma Bombec0 ar0

y first being hitting my head on

I often 2uote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. --(eorge Bernard 1haw adame ,e 1tael". 8he more I see of men the more I li0e dogs. !About E2uality& :. I am glad I am not a man, for if I were I should be obliged to marry a woman. !About arriage& @. Eoliteness is the art of selecting among one.s real thoughts. !About Relationships& %. Architecture is fro9en music. 5I believe that se* is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.5 1teve artin 5A man.s friend li0es him but leaves him as he is; his wife loves him and is always trying to turn him into somebody else.5 - (A +hesterton 'or some, marriage is an institution. 'or others, it is a commitment. 8o me, it is rather li0e being committed to an institution. Although small children have taboos against stepping on ants because such actions are said to bring on rain, there has never seemed to be a taboo against pulling off the legs or wings of flies. ost children eventually outgrow this behaviour. 8hose who do not either come to a bad end or become biologistsI !"?C:, 8o Anow a 'ly, biologist )incent ,ethier& 8he difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between 5lightning5 and 5lightning bug.5 M ar0 8wain an is the only species that blushes, or should do it. ar0 8wain

4othing is worse than gentlemen. 8homas (ainsborough, "#:#-"#$$ =hat is the difference between (od and a doctorG (od does not believe he is a doctor. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. HOne has the right to e*pect ordinary decency even of a poetI E9ra Eound. Before coming for this speech, I as0ed my Aide-de-+amps what should I tal0 about. /e told me- 5 r. Eresident; I thin0 you should tal0 about ten minutes5 !(eorge =. Bush& 6incoln used his sense of humour to handle anger, li0e the time when a heavyset lady visitor to the =hite /ouse sat on his high top hat, which he had left on a chair, and he said to her, 5if you.d Dust as0ed me, lady, I could have told you it wouldn.t fit.5 An irate woman was critici9ing =inston +hurchill and concluded, 5if you were my husband, I.d poison your tea.5 =inston 2uic0ly responded, 56ady, if you were my wife, I.d drin0 it<5 After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-0nown 2uotations. --/enry 6ouis enc0en, on 1ha0espeare A modest man, who has much to be modest about. /e has all the virtues I disli0e and none of the vices I admire. /e is the man who brought pederasty into disrepute. 4ever under any circumstances ta0e a sleeping pill and a la*ative on the same night5 ,ave Barry 5It is a well-documented fact that guys will not as0 for directions. 8his is a biological thing. 8his is why it ta0es several million sperm cells to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the si9e of =isconsin.5 ,ave Barry 1cientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to ma0e males stupid.5 ,ave Barry 54ot all chemicals are bad. =ithout chemicals such as hydrogen and o*ygen, for e*ample, there would be no way to ma0e water, a vital ingredient in beer.5 ,ave Barry y therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. 1o far today, I have finished : bags of X .s and a chocolate ca0e. I feel better already.5 ,ave Barry

58he ,etroit 1tring Ouartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.5 Bennett +erf 8here have been too many boo0s in which some young man is loo0ing forward, bac0ward or sideways in anger. Or in which some 1outhern youth is being chased through the magnolia bushes by his aunt. 1he catches him on page :$ with horrid results.5 Bennett +erf =e demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty<5 ,ouglas Adams 5Arthur- .It.s at times li0e this I wish I.d listened to my mother.. 'ord - .=hy, what did she sayG. Arthur- .I don.t 0now, I never listened..5 ,ouglas Adams /uman beings, who are almost uni2ue in having the ability to learn from the e*perience of others, are also remar0able for their apparent disinclination to do so.5 ,ouglas Adams /e was a dreamer, a thin0er, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.5 ,ouglas Adams 8here is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what e*actly the Fniverse is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bi9arre and ine*plicable. 8here is another that states that this has already happened.5 ,ouglas Adams 5'or a moment, nothing happened. 8hen, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.5 ,ouglas Adams 8he Bible contains si* admonishments to homose*uals and @C: admonishments to heterose*uals. 8hat doesn.t mean that (od doesn.t love heterose*uals. It.s Dust that they need more supervision.5 6ynn 6avner In the beginning, the universe was created. 8his has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move.-- ,ouglas Adams, 8he /itch /i0er.s (uide to the (ala*y 4ever try and teach a pig to sing- it.s a waste of time, and it annoys the pig. --Robert A. /einlein - 8ime Enough for 6ove A committee is a life form with si* or more legs and no brain. --Robert A. /einlein

SPANISH
5El progreso es la habilidad del hombre para hacer compleDo lo 2ue es sencillo5 !8hor /eyerdahl, "?"%-:;;", 9oQlogo sueco.& 6a mayorYa pedimos conseDos cuando sabemos la respuesta, pero 2ueremos 2ue nos den otra.5 !/arry 1. 8ruman& +uando nos peguen una patada en los huevos, es meDor ofrecer la otra meDilla, por2ue si repiten en el mismo lugar, vamos listos5. !3aume Eerich Escala, "?%;"??>, humorista espaZol& Fn ban2uero es un hombre 2ue presta a otro el dinero de un tercero5 !BarQn Edmond de Rothschild, "$%;-"?">, ban2uero alemTn& 4o e*iste un Estado cuyo Defe no desee asegurarse una pa9 constante por medio de la con2uista del universo entero, si ello fuera posible5. !Aant& 6o [nico 2ue impide a ,ios mandar un segundo diluvio es 2ue el primero fue in[til5. !4icolTs-1ebastien Roch. "#%"-"#?% escritor franc\s& Autoungulafilia- conseguir placer rascTndose sus propios genitales. ,e cerca, nadie es normal5 !+aetano )eloso. "?%:, m[sico brasileZo& 5+omo invento, el tel\fono es e*traordinario, pero ]para 2u\ podrT servirG5 !Rutherford B. /ayes "$##-"$$", presidente de EE.FF.& El 2ue tiene poca memoria se evita muchos remordimientos5 !3ohn Osborne, "?:?-"??%& 'umar en e*ceso es malo. Beber en e*ceso es malo. +omer en e*ceso es malo. 'ollar en e*ceso es difYcil5. !3aume Eerich, "?%"-"??>, humorista espaZol& 6as mentes son como los paracaYdas. 1Qlo funcionan si estTn abiertos.5 !6ord 8homas Robert ,ewar. "$C%-"?@;, escritor britTnico& 54uestra cabe9a es redonda para permitir al pensamiento cambiar de direcciQn5. !'rancis Eicabia, "$#?-"?>@, pintor franc\s& 6a Biblia dice 2ue amemos a nuestros vecinos y a nuestros enemigos; probablemente por2ue en general son las mismas personas5 !(. A. +hesterton, "$#%-"?@C, escritor britTnico& 5 56a Iglesia sigue firme en su postura- la homose*ualidad es cosa de maricones. !3aume Eerich, "?%"-"??>, humorista espaZol&

5Argumentar con una persona 2ue ha renunciado a la lQgica, es como dar medicina a un hombre muerto5. !8homas Eaine, "#@#-"$;?& E*iste gente 2ue estT tan llena de sentido com[n 2ue no le 2ueda el mTs pe2ueZo rincQn para el sentido propio5 ! iguel de Fnamuno, "$C%-"?@C& 5 ediocre, y sabiendo arrastrarse, uno llega a todas partes5. !Eierre Augustin +aron de Beaumarchais, "#@:-"#??& 4ada resiste tanto como lo provisional5 !Andr\ aurois, "$$>-"?C#&

]+Qmo sab\is 2ue la 8ierra no es el infierno de otro planetaG5 !Aldous /u*ley, "$?%-"?C@& 5El gobierno no se ha hecho para la comodidad y el placer de los 2ue gobiernan5 irabeau. 56a Dusticia depende de la imparcialidad y sQlo pueden ser imparciales los e*traZos5, (eorge Bernard 1haw. Eara recibir a alg[n colega pedante- 58he ego has landed.5 +omentario del Eremio 4obel de fYsica norteamericano Richard 'eynman sobre un te*to de un sociQlogo. 'eynman escribiQ en sus memorias !51urely you are Do0ing, r. 'eynman5& 2ue no podYa entender ni una palabra, hasta 2ue se detuvo oraciQn por oraciQnKKK I can.t remember it precisely, but it was very close to this- 58he individual member of the social community often receives his information via visual, symbolic channels.5 I went bac0 and forth over it, and translated. 7ou 0now what it meansG 5Eeople read5. 8hen I went over the ne*t sentence, and I reali9ed that I could translate that one also. 8hen it became a 0ind of empty business- 51ometimes people read; sometimes people listen to the radio5 and so on, but written in such a fancy way that I couldn.t understand it at first, and when I finally deciphered it, there was nothing to it. 5El gaucho no e*istiQ nunca; fue un invento de los estancieros para entretener a los caballos5 ! acedonio 'ernTnde9& 5,e todo laberinto se sale por arriba5. !6eopoldo arechal&

56a RevoluciQn es una idea min[scula. Acabemos con ella.5 !3ean 'rancois 6yotard "?:%-"??$& 56a lQgica ya no es est\ril. Engendra la contradicciQn5. !/enri Eoincar\&

8.1. Eliot- 5Acabo de regresar de BerlYn5 Bertrand Russell- 5Ou\ opina de la guerraG5 8.1. Eliot- 56o [nico 2ue s\ es 2ue no soy pacifista.5 Bertrand Russell- 57a entiendo. 4o le importa la ra9Qn por la 2ue matan a la gente, con tal de 2ue la maten5 !Erimavera de "?"%, de 5,ear r. Russell5& 5+omo diDo 1imone =eil, uno se mantiene fiel a la cocina en la 2ue fue educado y 2ui9Ts en esto constituya el patriotismo.5 !Anthony Burgess& 5'ormular predicciones es difYcil, sobre todo las 2ue se refieren al futuro.5 57a 2ue no podemos cambiar la realidad, cambiemos la conversaciQn.5 !1tephen ,edalus, en el 5Flises5 de 3oyce&. 5Al orar, el fle2uillo impide 2ue la frente to2ue el suelo- el diablo se interpone entre el creyente y ,ios.5 ! aulawi Abdul Rashid ,ar0asti, 8alibTn, 3efe de la EolicYa religiosa de AfganistTn.& 56a guerra es una masacre entre gente 2ue no se conoce para provecho de gente 2ue sY se conoce pero 2ue no se masacra5. !Eaul )alery& 54adie estT e*ento de decir estupideces; lo grave es sostenerlas con \nfasis.5 ! ontaigne& 5El afTn de perfecciQn hace a algunas personas totalmente insoportables.5 !Eearl 1. Buc0& ,e un director de or2uesta ingl\s- 5,on.t loo0 at the trombones; it only encourages them5. uy aplicable a otras profesionesP

El matrimonio es intentar solucionar entre dos los problemas 2ue nunca hubieran surgido al estar solo.5 !Eddy +antor "$?:-"?C%, cantante americano& El se*o fuerte es generalmente el se*o d\bil debido a la debilidad 2ue siente el se*o fuerte por el se*o d\bil5. !ElatQn, %:#-@%# a. +. filQsofo griego&. El amor no es nada mTs 2ue el esfuer9o 2ue cada uno debe seguir reali9ando para contentarse con una sola muDer5 !Eaul (^raldy "$$>-"?$@, dramaturgo franc\s& 8odos los hombres tienen una muDer en el pensamiento; los casados, ademTs, tienen otra en casa5 !4oel +larasQ, "$?? - "?$>, escritor espaZol.5&

Fn ar2ueQlogo es el meDor marido 2ue una muDer puede tener- mientras mTs vieDa se pone, mTs interesante la encuentra. !Agatha +hristie& 5Fna muDer serYa encantadora si uno pudiera caer en sus bra9os sin caer en sus manos.5 !Ambrose Bierce, "$%:-"?"%& 8oda persona deberYa casarse alguna ve9. ,espu\s de todo, la felicidad no es lo [nico en la vida. !AnQnimo& 6os solteros deberYan pagar mTs impuestos; no es Dusto 2ue unos hombres sean mTs felices 2ue otros. !Oscar =ilde& 4o te cases sQlo por dinero; puedes conseguir un pr\stamo mTs barato. !Eroverbio escoc\s& Fn psi2uiatra es una persona 2ue te darYa, caras, las respuestas 2ue tu esposa te da gratuitamente. !AnQnimo& 6os solteros conocen mTs acerca de las muDeres 2ue los casados. 1i no fuera asY, estarYan casados tambi\n. !/. 6. enc0en& +uando una pareDa de reci\n casados sonrYe, todo el mundo sabe por2u\, cuando una pareDa de "; aZos de casados sonrYe, todo el mundo se pregunta]Eor 2u\G. El amor es ciego, pero el matrimonio milagrosamente le devuelve la vista. +uando un hombre le abre la puerta del auto a su esposa, usted puede estar seguro de una cosa- el auto es nuevo o la esposa es nueva. +onciencia es la vo9 interior 2ue nos alerta 2ue alguien puede estar mirando. /.6. enc0en Ayer cumplY veinte aZos y termin\ mi primer libro. 7 maZana empie9o a leer el segundo. ,E (ROF+/O ARJ3amTs aceptarYa pertenecer a un club 2ue admitiera como miembro alguien como yo. A 2ui\n va usted a creer- A mY, o a sus propios oDosG El puede parecer un idiota y actuar como un idiota. Eero no se deDe engaZar, es realmente un idiota. 4unca olvido una cara. Eero en su caso, harYa gustoso una e*cepciQn.

+laro 2ue lo entiendo. Incluso un niZo de cinco aZos podrYa entenderlo... Oue me traigan un niZo de cinco aZos< ,esde el momento en 2ue cogY su libro me caY al suelo rodando de risa. Alg[n dYa espero leerlo. Eor 2u\ deberYa preocuparme por la posteridadG Ou\ ha hecho la posteridad por mYG 6a Dusticia militar es a la Dusticia, lo 2ue la m[sica militar es a la m[sica. /e pasado una noche estupenda. Eero no ha sido \sta. Bebo para hacer interesantes a las demTs personas. ,ebo confesar 2ue nacY a una edad muy temprana. Es meDor estar callado y parecer tonto 2ue hablar y despeDar las dudas definitivamente. El matrimonio es la principal causa de divorcio. 6a inteligencia militar es una contradicciQn en los t\rminos. Fna maZana me despert\ y mat\ a un elefante en piDama. e pregunto cQmo pudo ponerse mi piDama. 6a televisiQn ha hecho maravillas por mi cultura- En cuanto alguien enciende la televisiQn, voy a la biblioteca y me leo un buen libro. O usted se ha muerto o mi reloD se ha detenido. Recordad 2ue estamos luchando por el honor de esa muDer, lo 2ue probablemente es mTs de lo 2ue ella hi9o DamTs. Eartiendo de la nada alcanc\ las mTs altas cimas de la miseria. +itadme diciendo 2ue me han citado mal. El matrimonio es una gran instituciQn. Eor supuesto, si te gusta vivir en una instituciQn. 5+uando despertQ, el dinosaurio todavYa estaba allY5. !+uento mYnimo de Augusto onterroso& 5+uando los soldados del Emperador Amarillo vieron el inmenso eD\rcito del Emperador 7an-ti en la llanura de Ban2uan huyeron despavoridos y fueron reempla9ados por una vanguardia de osos, lobos, leopardos y tigres, y un estandarte compuesto de buitres, faisanes, Tguilas y milanos.5 6os escritos de 6ie 7u Aou !circa @";& 51i yo fuera a escribir todo lo 2ue pienso de la grulla _2u\ aburrimiento serYa<5 1ei 1honagon, 6ibro de la almohada !siglo J& 5Richard, +onde de ,orset, se enamorQ de la c\lebre cortesana rs. )enetia 1tanley, casada con 1ir Aenelm ,igby. Fna ve9 por aZo la invitaba a ella y a su marido, y en tal ocasiQn la contemplaba con mucha pasiQn y deseo, permiti\ndose tan sQlo besarle la mano, siempre en presencia de su seZor marido.5 3ohn Autrey, )idas breves !"C?@&

5/e pensado 2ue alg[n dYa me llevarYas a un lugar habitado por una araZa del tamaZo de un hombre y 2ue pasarYamos toda la vida mirTndola, aterrados.5 'iQdor ,ostoievs0i 6os poseYdos !"$#"-"$#:& 5,os personas esperan en la calle un acontecimiento y la apariciQn de los principales actores. El acontecimiento ya estT ocurriendo y ellos son los actores5. 4athaniel /awthorne, 4oteboo0s !"$C$& 56a anciana adame de 8remouillac, despu\s de despertarse temprano una maZana y ver a un es2ueleto sentado en el sillQn leyendo su diario, tuvo 2ue guardar cama durante seis semanas con un ata2ue de fiebre cerebral; al recuperarse, se reconciliQ con la Iglesia y rompiQ toda relaciQn con ese notorio esc\ptico, onsieur de )oltaire.5 Oscar =ilde El fantasma de +anterville !"$?"& 58ambi\n estT a2uella muDer 2ue, al cerrar con llave la puerta de su dormitorio en una casa desconocida, oyQ una d\bil vo9 entre las cortinas de la cama dici\ndole- .Ahora estamos encerrados por toda la noche..5 . R. 3ames- A 1chool 1tory !"?;%& 5Fsted se acuerda de a2uella vieDa historia acerca del cura ingl\s 2ue le dio la e*tremaunciQn al ladrQn de 1icilia, y cQmo, en su lecho de muerte, el gran bandido le diDo- .4o le puedo dar dinero, pero puedo ofrecerle un conseDo para toda la vida- el pulgar sobre la hoDa, y clave para arriba..5 (. A. +hesterton. El hombre 2ue fue 3ueves !"?;$& 5EodrYa hacerse el mismo reproche al santo 3uan de ,ios, 2uien se levantQ de su lecho de muerte y llegQ Dusto a tiempo para descolgar a un hombre 2ue se habYa ahorcado en su DardYn, de 2uien tuvo noticias de alguna manera asombrosa en medio de su propia agonYa.5 Rainer aria Ril0e 6os cuadernos de alte 6auyrids Brigge !"?";& 5Fna Daula fue en busca de un pTDaro.5 'ran9 Aaf0a Refle*iones sobre el pecado, el dolor, la esperan9a y el verdadero camino !"?"?& 51e parecYa a ese loco 2ue corrYa por las calles con lTgrimas en los oDos, buscando su cabe9a en todas las es2uinas.5 6adislav Alima 8odo !"?;?-"?:#& 51algo a la calle y hay calle. e echo a pensar y hay siempre pensamiento. Esto es desesperante.5 +\sar )alleDo +ontra el secreto profesional !"?:$& 56as [ltimas palabras de la madre de (oethe, a una sirvienta 2ue le habYa traYdo una invitaciQn a almor9ar- 5,Ygales 2ue la 1eZora (oethe no puede venir por2ue estT muy ocupada muri\ndose..5 Andr\ (ermain (oethe y Bettina !"?@$&

51e sabe de un viaDero de comercio a 2uien le empe9Q a doler la muZeca i92uierda, Dustamente debaDo del reloD de pulsera. Al arrancarse el reloD, saltQ sangre- la herida mostraba huellas de unos dientes muy finos5. 3ulio +ortT9ar /istorias de cronopios y de famas !"?C:& 5 onQlogo de +alYgula- .1i yo, el primero de todos, soy lo 2ue soy !una ba9ofia&, ]2u\ puedo esperar del resto de los romanosG..5 arco ,enevi 'alsificaciones !"?CC& 51ubir una escalera es un esfuer9o, baDarla un peligro. Oui\n no se acuerda del grito de desafYo lan9ado por +\cile 1orel al cabo del peligroso eDercicio 2ue le imponYan en escena sus volantes y sus coturnos de estrTs- .]BaD\ bienG..5 ichel 8ournier ,e llaves y de cerraduras !"?#?& 5Recuerda- una ve9 acabado el grito y encendidas las luces, seg[n las reglas del Duego siempre debo mentir. ]Ahora me creesG5 argaret Atwood Asesinato en la oscuridad !"?$@& 5/ay mirYadas de seres en el universo 2ue son felices -y no te conocen... ]Eor 2u\, pues, soy yo el [nico hombre para 2uien t[ eres toda la felicidad del mundoG5 Rogelio EchavarrYa El transe[nte !"???& 51eg[n mi amigo 6., +risto viviQ siete dYas antes de +risto por2ue naciQ el :% de diciembre y el primer aZo cristiano no comen9Q hasta el "` de enero siguiente a su nacimiento. i amigo, 2ue es ateo, no cree en ning[n milagro de 3es[s, e*cepto en \ste de haber vivido antes de sY mismo.5 Eduardo Berti \dico- 4o puedo identificar la causa de su dolor de estQmago, pero pienso 2ue se debe a la bebida. Eaciente- Bueno, doctor; entonces volver\ cuando usted est\ sobrio. 6a Reina a +hristopher =ren, acerca de 2u\ le pareciQ la nueva +atedral de 1an Eablo- HArtificial, amusing and awfulI !En a2uel tiempo, eso significabaartful, ama9ing and awesome&. AsY, ,ere0 Earfit, preguntTndose 5]Eor 2u\ e*iste el universoG5, nos propone a*iarchy, 5a*iar2uYa5. 6a palabra no figura en el 1horter O*ford ,ictionary, asY 2ue la deduDe por mi cuenta- el gobierno de la verdad manifiesta. 6a ,eclaraciQn de la Independencia es, como 2uien dice, una celebraciQn de la a*iar2uYa. artha 4ussbaum, escribiendo sobre la virtud, usaba 5eudemonista5, es decir, alguien 2ue respalda un sistema \tico cuya pauta moral es la tendencia de las acciones para promover la felicidad. !Eaul 3ohnson, Al ,iablo con EicassoP&

Recuerdo 2ue a fines de los aZos %; yo miraba los ciervos del par2ue desde la verDa de hierro de agdalen. e acompaZaba el temible (ilbert Ryle, entonces director de ind. Fna silueta elegante pasQ apresuradamente por el par2ue. a]1abes 2ui\n esGb, preguntQ Ryle. a4o.b aEs A. 3. Ayer. Eudo haber sido un gran filQsofo. El se*o lo arruinQ.b 6a silueta desapareciQ rTpidamente, como si fuera a una cita muy esperada. AZos despu\s visit\ la casa de Ayer en 6ondres por un encargo periodYstico. 6a puerta se abriQ y me atendiQ una Doven voluptuosa, con su\ter y pantalones teZidos, algo inusitado en esos tiempos. 1orprendido por esta apariciQn, pregunt\ absurdamente]a/ablo con la seZora AyerGb aODalT fuera asYb, respondiQ con una sonrisa. Al menos 'reddie sabYa para 2u\ servYa la filosofYa Mo la reputaciQn de gran filQsofoM, y si hubo una doctrina con la 2ue nunca estuvo de acuerdo fue el amor platQnico. !Eaul 3ohnson, Al ,iablo con EicassoP& 8odos los hongos son comestibles. Algunos solamente una ve9. 6a Derar2uYa es como los estantes- mientras mTs altos, menos sirven. 6a [nica into*icaciQn es la conversaciQn. !Oscar =ilde& H(uy de aupassant- 'ue un periodista 2ue contaba an\cdotas. 8erminQ loco, pero habYa comen9ado tonto.I !36Borges& 6as muDeres prefieren 2ue se las divierta sin amarlas, antes 2ue se las ame sin divertirlas. adame de 1tael Eaul )alery- 6os libros tienen los mismos enemigos 2ue el hombre- el fuego, la humedad, los animales, el tiempo y su contenido.