The 9 Epiphanies That Shifted My Perspective Forever Over the years Ive learned dozens of little tricks and

insights for making life more f lfilling! Theyve added p to a significant improvement in the ease and " ality of my day#to#day life! $ t the ma%or &reakthro ghs have come from a handf l of insights that completely rocked my 'orld and redefined reality forever! The 'orld no' seems to &e a completely different one than the one I lived in a&o t ten years ago( 'hen I started looking into the mechanics of " ality of life! It 'asnt the 'orld )and its people* that changed really( it 'as ho' I tho ght of it! May&e yo ve had some of the same insights! Or may&e yo re a&o t to! +! ,o are not yo r mind! The first time I heard some&ody say that( I didnt like the so nd of it one &it! -hat else co ld I &e. I had taken for granted that the mental chatter in my head 'as the central /me0 that all the e1periences in my life 'ere happening to! I see " ite clearly no' that life is nothing & t passing e1periences( and my tho ghts are % st one more category of things I e1perience! Tho ghts are no more f ndamental than smells( sights and so nds! 2ike any e1perience( they arise in my a'areness( they have a certain te1t re( and then they give 'ay to something else! If yo can o&serve yo r tho ghts % st like yo can o&serve other o&%ects( 'hos doing the o&serving. 3ont ans'er too " ickly! This " estion( and its nspeaka&le ans'er( are at the center of all the great religions and spirit al traditions! 4! 2ife nfolds only in moments! Of co rse5 I once called this the most important thing I ever learned! 6o&ody has ever e1perienced anything that 'asnt part of a single moment nfolding! That means lifes only challenge is dealing 'ith the single moment yo are having right no'! $efore I recognized this( I 'as constantly trying to solve my entire life 7 &attling pro&lems that 'erent act ally happening! 8nyone can s mmon the resolve to deal 'ith a single( present moment( as long as they are tr ly a'are that its their only point of contact 'ith life( and therefore there is nothing else one can do that can possi&ly &e sef l! 6o&ody can deal 'ith the past or f t re( &eca se( &oth only e1ist as tho ghts( in the present! $ t 'e can kill o rselves trying! 9! : ality of life is determined &y ho' yo deal 'ith yo r moments( not 'hich moments happen and 'hich dont! I no' consider this tr th to &e ;appiness +<+( & t its amazing ho' tempting it still is to grasp at control of every circ mstance to try to make s re I get e1actly 'hat I 'ant! To enco nter an ndesira&le sit ation and 'ork 'ith it 'illingly is the mark of a 'ise and happy person! Imagine getting a flat tire( falling ill at a &ad time( or knocking something over and &reaking it 7 and s ffering nothing from it! There is nothing to fear if yo agree 'ith yo rself to deal 'illingly 'ith adversity 'henever it does sho' p! That is ho' to make life &etter! The typical( lo'#leverage method is to hope that yo event ally acc m late po'er over yo r circ mstances so that yo can get 'hat yo 'ant more often! Theres an e1cellent line in a Modest Mo se song( cele&rating this side#effect of 'isdom= 8s life gets longer( a'f l feels softer!

>! Most of life is imaginary! ; man &eings have a ha&it of comp lsive thinking that is so pervasive that 'e lose sight of the fact that 'e are nearly al'ays thinking! Most of 'hat 'e interact 'ith is not the 'orld itself( & t o r &eliefs a&o t it( o r e1pectations of it( and o r personal interests in it! -e have a very diffic lt time o&serving something 'itho t conf sing it 'ith the tho ghts 'e have a&o t it( and so the & lk of 'hat 'e e1perience in life is imaginary things! 8s Mark T'ain said= /Ive &een thro gh some terri&le things in my life( some of 'hich act ally happened!0 The &est treatment Ive fo nd. ? ltivating mindf lness! @! ; man &eings have evolved to s ffer( and 'e are &etter at s ffering than anything else! ,ikes! It doesnt so nd like a very li&erating discovery! I sed to &elieve that if I 'as s ffering it meant that there 'as something 'rong 'ith me 7 that I 'as doing life /'rong!0 S ffering is completely h man and completely normal( and there is a very good reason for its e1istence! 2ifes persistent &ackgro nd h m of /this isnt " ite okay( I need to improve this(0 co pled 'ith occasional intense flashes of horror and adrenaline are 'hat kept h man &eings alive for millions of years! This rge to change or escape the present moment drives nearly all of o r &ehavior! Its a simple and r thless s rvival mechanism 'hich 'orks e1ceedingly 'ell for keeping s alive( & t it has a horrific side effect= h man &eings s ffer greatly &y their very nat re! This( for me( redefined every one of lifes pro&lems as some tendril of the h man condition! 8s grim as it so nds( this insight is li&erating &eca se it means= +* that s ffering does not necessarily mean my life is going 'rong( 4* that the &all is al'ays in my co rt( so the degree to 'hich I s ffer is ltimately p to me( and 9* that all pro&lems have the same ca se and the same sol tion! A! Emotions e1ist to make s &iased! This discovery 'as a complete +B< from my old nderstanding of emotions! I sed to think my emotions 'ere relia&le indicators of the state of my life 7 of 'hether Im on the right track or not! ,o r passing emotional states cant &e tr sted for meas ring yo r self#'orth or yo r position in life( & t they are great at teaching yo 'hat it is yo cant let go of! The tro &le is that emotions make s &oth more &iased and more forcef l at the same time! 8nother s rvival mechanism 'ith nasty side#effects! C! 8ll people operate from the same t'o motivations= to f lfill their desires and to escape their s ffering! 2earning this allo'ed me to finally make sense of ho' people can h rt each other so &adly! The &est e1planation I had &efore this 'as that some people are % st &ad! -hat a cop#o t! 6o matter 'hat kind of &ehavior other people e1hi&it( they are acting in the most effective 'ay they are capa&le of )at that moment* to f lfill a desire or to relieve their s ffering! These are motives 'e can all nderstandD 'e only vary in method( and the methods each of s has at o r disposal depend on o r p&ringing and o r e1periences in life( as 'ell as o r state of conscio sness! Some methods are skillf l and helpf l to others( others are nskillf l and destr ctive( and almost all destr ctive &ehavior is nconscio s! So there is no good and evil( only smart and d m& )or 'ise and foolish!* Enderstanding this completely shook my long#held notions of morality and % stice! B! $eliefs are nothing to &e pro d of!

$elieving something is not an accomplishment! I gre' p thinking that &eliefs are something to &e pro d of( & t theyre really nothing & t opinions one ref ses to reconsider! $eliefs are easy! The stronger yo r &eliefs are( the less open yo are to gro'th and 'isdom( &eca se /strength of &elief0 is only the intensity 'ith 'hich yo resist " estioning yo rself! 8s soon as yo are pro d of a &elief( as soon as yo think it adds something to 'ho yo are( then yo ve made it a part of yo r ego! 2isten to any /die#hard0 conservative or li&eral talk a&o t their deepest &eliefs and yo are listening to some&ody 'ho 'ill never hear 'hat yo say on any matter that matters to them 7 nless yo &elieve the same! It is gratifying to speak forcef lly( it is gratifying to &e agreed 'ith( and this high is 'hat the die#hards are chasing! -herever there is a &elief( there is a closed door! Take on the &eliefs that stand p to yo r most honest( h m&le scr tiny( and never &e afraid to lose them! 9! O&%ectivity is s &%ective! 2ife is a s &%ective e1perience and that cannot &e escaped! Every e1perience I have comes thro gh my o'n( personal( nshara&le vie'point! There can &e no peer revie's of my direct e1perience( no real corro&oration! This has some ma%or implications for ho' I live my life! The most immediate one is that I realize I m st tr st my o'n personal e1perience( &eca se no&ody else has this angle( and I only have this angle! 8nother is that I feel more 'onder for the 'orld aro nd me( kno'ing that any /o&%ective0 nderstanding I claim to have of the 'orld is & ilt entirely from scratch( &y me! -hat I do & ild depends on the &ooks Ive read( the people Ive met( and the e1periences Ive had! It means I 'ill never see the 'orld " ite like anyone else( 'hich means I 'ill never live in " ite the same 'orld as anyone else 7 and therefore I m stnt let o tside o&servers &e the a thority on 'ho I am or 'hat life is really like for me! S &%ectivity is primary e1perience 7 it is real life( and o&%ectivity is something each of s & ilds on top of it in o r minds( privately( in order to e1plain it all! This tr th has 'orld#shattering implications for the roles of religion and science in the lives of those 'ho grasp it!