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Marriage is honourable:
Heb 13.4: Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God
will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Marriage should not be forbidden:
1 Tim 4.1-5: The Spirit clearly says that in the later times some will abandon the faith
and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through
hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid
people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be
received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything
God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
because it is consecrated by the word of God and by prayer. Note: Marriage was
created before the fall.
Marriage is a lifelong covenant and divorce is not an option:
(1)Mal 2.14-16:...It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the
wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner,
the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit
they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself
in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I hate divorce, says the
Lord God of Israel, and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his
garment, says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
Divorce:
Jesus on Divorce:
Mat 19.3-12: Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, 'Is it lawful for a
man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?' Haven't you read, he replied, that at
the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let
man not separate. Why then, they asked, did Moses command that a man give his wife
a certificate of divorce and send her away? Jesus replied, Moses permitted you to
divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the
beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness,
and marries another woman commits adultery.
The disciples said to him, If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better
not to marry. Jesus replied, Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom
it is has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others
were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the
kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.
(Mat 5:31-32) "It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a
certificate of divorce.' {32} But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries
the divorced woman commits adultery.
(Mark 10:11-12) He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another
woman commits adultery against her. {12} And if she divorces her husband and marries
another man, she commits adultery."
(Luke 16:18) "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits
adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
From the above passages it seems that God does not recognise the divorce unless
adultery has occured.
Paul on divorce:
1 Cor 7.10-11: To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not
separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be
reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Pauline concession:
1 Cor 7.12-16: To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not
a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman
has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not
divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the
unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your
children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him
do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called
us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or,
how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
A wife is bound to her husband until he dies:
Rom 7.2-3: For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as
he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if
she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But
if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though
she marries another man.
1 Cor 7.39: A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband
dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
Adultery:
Deut 5.18: You shall not commit adultery.
Prov 5.18-20: May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your
youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever
be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace
the bosom of another man's wife?
Prov 6.25-29: Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her
eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon
your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his cloths being burned? Can a
man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with
another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. (see Prov 7.1-27)
Note: Adultery is biblical ground for divorce (Mat 19.9: I tell you that anyone who
divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman
commits adultery.)
Mk 10.11:-Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery
against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits
adultery.
Mat 5.27-28: You have heard it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that
anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his
heart.
Deut 5.21: You shall not covet your neighbour's wife....
Job 31.1: I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.
God's order for husbands:
Eph 5:25-33: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the
word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any
other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever
hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we
are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery - but I
am talking about Christ and the church. However, each of you also must love his wife as
he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The one flesh relationship of marriage is so real that in loving his wife the man is loving
himself. Look at the model of marriage that is presented to us here, the husbands love
for his wife should be like the love of Christ for the church which he bought with his own
blood (Acts 20:28). This love is a sacrificial love, a self giving love, an agape love.
Col 3.19: Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
1 Pet 3.7: Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and
treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift
of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
God's order for wives:
Eph 5.22-24: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their
husbands in everything.
Col 3.18: Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Titus 2.3-5: Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to
be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train
the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure,
to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will
malign the word of God.
1 Pet 3.1-2: Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of
them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of
their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Gen 3.16: Result of the curse: I will greatly increase your pain in childbearing; with pain
you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over
you.
Prov 12.4:A wife of noble character is her husbands crown...
Prov 19.13:...a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.
In a Christian marriage the husband should love his wife as himself, be considerate, not
be harsh, treat with respect. The wife must respect her husband and submit to him.
Marriage vows:
For better or for worse
For richer or for poorer
In sickness and in health
For as long as you both shall live
When we take these vows, God takes them seriously, do we?
(Mal 2:14) You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between
you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is
your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
Marriage is a covenant which terminates on the death of either side, after that the one
still living can remarry.
(1 Cor 7:39 NIV) A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her
husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.