Monday 16/2/04. (litho day of ndepndnce). Melbourne (left @ 10.

10) → Whittlesea (pushed thrgh the

weeping willow whos branches reach the ground & serv as a ‘g8’; Ian Liddell wasnt home but Sally
was with his nfant gr&aughter whom she was about 2 take 4 a c@scan as she has bn knocking hrslf
nconscious whn she bumps her head) → Strath Creek (got a stubby) → Highl&s (wher the roof is up
on the studio whch is huge, big nough 2 park an aeroplane in, overlookng a view I thght 2 b wagner-
ian but Dennis says is pastoral. The studio has no windows so outside lght not nterfere wth inner lght
(so said El Greco Dennis said) & ther is going 2 b a water feature out front & Dennis is aglow & does-
nt think of Melbourne anymore & feels as if his life is just strting & he 1ts it 2 go on 4ever. He has ab-
&onned thghts of bcoming a rcluse & is activ in many local orgnizations & last week had 2 hire PORT-
ALOOS 2 c8r 4 an outing 4 refugees th@ an orgnization he is nvolved with had put on. Country life!)
→ stoppd 4 an echidna walkng down the middl of the road → m writing these notes a few ks south of
Ruffy on the Ruffy/Caveat road in a clearing x a pool wher ther is a small oak tree whch was plantd in
1988 x the chldrn of Ruffy 2 commmr8 the bicentnnial year & has hardly grown in 16 years. Lay on
the bed with tailg8 & sliding door open fannd x breezs & listning 2 thm in the branchs. I had plannd 2
go west (mayb 2 the Eyre Penisula) but this mornng took out all the maps I had put in & dcided 2
head northeast over the ranges 2 coastal East Gippsl& or southern NSW. I m suffring from SHAGG-
ERS BACK (known 2 Plato ccording 2 Montaigne (c ‘11/11/02 – 20/11/02’ p.13) & n10d 2 make freq-
uent rest stops so as not 2 ggrav8 the condition. (3.40) → Yarck (@ B8 x 3.7 Map 62 of VicRoads
Country Directory) (@ Yarck Hotel drinking pot of beer. It is a xaggeration 2 say I m in a st8 of CRIS-
IS since realizing th@ I hav completed a writing task whch has kept me in an n10sified space 4 4
years. I suppose it bgan in 1999 with sevral 1 page pieces titled ‘Art’, ‘Labels’, ‘Remembering’, ‘Ants’,
& ‘Time’. The nxt 4 years wer spnt xp&ing on thm. Or prhaps it bgan with the piece ‘25/1/00’. @ any
r8 I know I hav finshed wth the same certainty as I knew in the ntervening years th@ I was wher I
shld b. & so in answer 2 the commnt in his letter x FnL Osowski (whos l8st edition of ZŌ is titled
KHORA ( a study of Platos notion of Khora, as described in Timaeus. ISBN 1876891521) hoping I
make the best dcision about writing /reading /praying I can say I m left WITHOUT PURPOSE & no
longer know wh@ I m doing. I continue scribblin out of habit & 2 satisfy minor aims. Frank Lovece
howver tells me ther is a point of view th@ writers dont know what they r doing (being only nstrum-
ents?) & it is up 2 the readers 2 dcide if they serv a PURPOSE. (5.00)) → Whitfield (c ‘11/11/02 –
20/11/02’ p.2) (Wittgenstein claims th@ 4 the ‘Tractatus’ 2 b undrstood all the st8mnts whch go 2
make it up must b held in @10tion @ the same time. I sketchd a l&scape just as large but rquiring
only a few features 2 b held b4 the gaze simltneously 4 the picture 2 bcome vsible but I m not sure if
any1 was able 2 c it. It is not mportant. My motive was 2 seek CLARITY 4 myslf & I dont feel the need
4 it any mor. (I m drinking a glass of merlot 4 $6). Last week I got hold of an ssay courtesy of Frank L
& Andrea di Castro (the prvious week they had also combined 2 run off 4 me Freuds ssay ‘The Un-
canny’ (‘Das Unheimliche’) whch I 1td bcoz Roberto Calasso (recommndd 2 me x Con/George Kot-
zabasis (on the SBS board of drectors 4 10 years (86-96) & servd on the Equal Pportunities Board &
4mer advisor of Hawke govt. on multcultural & poltcal affairs) who sometimes drinks a coffee in the
Errol in Errol st. in front of his laptop on whch he writes antiterrrist tracts 4 a thinktank) in his book
‘The Ruin of Kasch’ claims th@ whn Freud wrote it → (shiftd 2 spot on the King river (c ‘11/11/02 –
20/11/02’ p. 4)) he faild 2 acknowledge he was fluenced x the personal xperience of the number 62
(my age) coming up ‘coincidentally’ during his travls in greece in 1909 whn he was 62 years old himslf
& was obsssed x the thght he would DIE @ the age of 62 (how wrong he was!). I 1ted 2 hav the ssay
whch I hav with me now though I havnt read it bcoz such ‘COINCIDENCES’ r a favourite topic (c ‘22/-
10/01 – 2/11/01’ p.2 & ‘The Hat’ p.3) of mine & realized a couple of quotes I had read made x Paul
Auster 4 whom it is also a favourite topic must have come from it. The quotes were ncoherent as far
as I was concerned & I 1ted 2 find out if the full rtcl made sens. After they ran off the ssay we wer eat-
ing in an eatery in Central Station in a slghtly subdued mood as Andrea had just told off a chinese girl
h&ing him his california h&rolls 4 having her thumb on 1 of the rolls. We wer dscussing god & Andrea
was xplainin what the word meant 2 him ie. it meant alpha & omega, evrythin & nothin, nfinity & final
cause etc, etc. & I said 2 him th@ such a god was useless as u cldnt talk 2 him in the way th@ Frank
1
mght 1t 2 talk 2 his god & god cldnt possibly nswer back as 1 day he mght nswer Frank who I suspect
prays (BUT STRICTLY IN SECRET). It makes no dffrence whther u blieve in his god I told Andrea &
he admittd he ddnt.) th@ they wer going gaga over (Andrea is an rchaeologist) just as comprhnsive in
its sweep as my stuff. Its calld ‘Origins of Society’ x Ernest Gellner (now dead) & Iv got it wth me & m
going 2 quote from it over a number of days bcoz Frank was quoting long slabs of it 2 me as I waitd 4
me hmburger in a small s&wch shop @ the back of the libary in Russell st. : “, the diversity which is
exemplified between cultures simply is not tolerable within any one of them. How is the unrestrained
diversification of thought and conduct, of a cancerous growth in all directions permitted genetically, in-
hibited in any particular society? …. The problem is; what prevents humans from developing too fast
and too wildly, given that the generic constraints are far too wide to explain the stability and homog-
eneity of human societies?” It is 8.35 & getting dark. The King river is burblin over rocks. How much
better than the sound of traffic! Tuesday 17/2/04. My back survived ystrdays travl quite well, honey,
though it reminds me of my age. @ least 1 problm is solvd : I can 4get any thghts of travl 2 europ as
sitting in a crampd seat on a tern@ional flght 4 hours on nd is out. The week b4 last on monday (@
the new Transport pub in Fed ‫ )ٱ‬Vaidas Žvirblis (who sends my stuff 2 Hilas AKA Boris Joselovich
AKA Borisas Joselovičius who is perfctly fluent in hebrew, litho & russian & though he teaches college
nglish in the city of Nesher in israel has buckleys chance of making any sens out of this piece of writ-
ing) told me a salutary tale about the problms a bad back can cause. He couldnt sleep on a flght 2
Melbourne a couple of days after SEPTEMBER 11 so fidgetted about & lookd out the windows nst-
ead. Whn the flght @10dant askd him why he wasnt sleeping he told her about his back but whn they
l&ed in Melbourne airport he was met x SECURITY & a DOG & taken out the RED DOOR 4 n10sive
terrorgation & all his stuff was mptied from his bag (whch was made in bolivia but bought in a market
in germany) & they said his number was up & hed b put in2 jail coz they found traces of HEROIN &
OTHER DRUGS in his bag with their dtector. Finally after getting the names of all his friends etc. &
who was waitin 2 meet him @ the airport - Gintas - & his friends a guy came in & said VERY SORRY
it was our mistake we 4got 2 change the filter on the dtector from the previous bust & u can go home.
2 days l8r whn I was telling his story 2 Andrew Saniga over a focaccia & coffee in Lygon st in Carlton
(yes wev rsumed convivality) he lstened wth mazement coz he had overheard a woman telling what
soundd like the same story @ the Vic Market the previous day. Xcept she was saying it as if it had
taken place just recently. So WHAT IS HAPPENING? R nnocent people being terrorg8d x SECURITY
& then let go on the prtxt of a filter not being changed & this is not being rported x the papers or hav I
heard of the only 2 cases of it happnin in Melbourne x COINCIDENCE (something Im subject 2). It
shows what can happn whn youv got SHAGGERS BACK & why I cant go 2 europ in my presnt cond-
tion. 8.40 → along the Whitfield / Lake Buffalo rd (20ks)(whch I havnt bn on b4 & would avoid if wet)
→ Marshall Ridge Reserve (c ‘11/11/02 – 20/11/02’ p.8)(wher Im in a littl rotunda blonging 2 the Myrt-
leford Sportfishermens Club on a spit of l& srroundd x water. Iv just eatn 1 of the 6 mangoes I brought
wth me but need an xcuse 2 stop a bit longer in this beaut spot on a still morning so Im quoting again
from Ernest Gellner the piece th@ Frank Lovece was quoting 2 me in the s&wch shop : “How is a so-
ciety established, and a series of societies diversified, whilst each of them is restrained from chaot-
ically expoiting that wide diversity of possible human behaviour? A theory is available concerning how
this may be done and it is one of the basic theories of social anthropology. The way in which you rest-
rain people from doing a wide variety of things, not compatible with the social order of which they are
members is that you subject them to ritual. The process is simple : you make them dance round a to-
tem pole until they are wild with excitement and become jellies in the hysteria of collective frenzy; you
enhance their emotional state by any device, by all the locally available audio visual aids, drugs, dan-
ce, music and so on; and once they are really high, you stamp upon their minds the type of concept
or notion to which they subsequently become enslaved. The idea is that the central feature of religion
is ritual, and the central role of ritual is the endowment of individuals with compulsive concepts which
simultaneously define their social and natural world and retrain and control their perceptions and
comportment, in mutually reinforcing ways. These deeply internalized notions henceforth oblige them
to act within the terms of prescribed limits. Each concept has a normative, binding content, as well as
2
a kind of organizing, descriptive content. The conceptual system maps out social order and required
conduct, and inhibits inclinations to thought or conduct which transgress its limits …. This is one of
the central theories of anthropology, and until a better one is found, I shall remain inclined to believe
that it must be valid. I can see no other explanation concerning how social and conceptual order and
homogeneity are maintained within societies which, at the same time, are so astonishingly diverse as
between each other. One species has somehow escaped the authority of nature; and is no longer
genetically programmed to remain within a relatively narrow range of conduct. So it needs new const-
raints. The fantastic range of genetically possible conduct is constrained in any particular herd, and
obliged to respect socially marked bounds. This can only be achieved by means of conceptual rest-
raint, and that in turn must somehow be instilled. Somehow, semantic, culturally transmitted limits are
imposed on men.” 10.45.) → Myrtle4d (petrol (33L replaced 350ks); checked mobile : message from
K8 saying th@ the roman lord of medcine had 4 daughters 1 of whom was called Aegle whch she
prnounced Egle (my sisters name) but ther is no relationship; bought paper; cldnt get thrgh 2 H) →
Bright (got thrgh 2 H. She drove the new car 2 school then had 2 drive home again coz she had left
her h&bag bhind in the xitemnt; Ben is anxious 2 get his h&s on the old 1 ASAP) → Harrietville (read
the Age wth the help of a stubby of beer @ the Snowline Hotel : 260000 SUSPICIOUS or DANGER-
OUS people on Australias movement alert list : mayb Vaidas is 1 of thm) → Hotham Ski Village (toilt)
→ Dinner Plain → Victoria Historic Site Reserve (in the Cobargo district (c ‘12/4/03 – 24/4/03 p.9) b4
u get 2 Omeo; parkd here 4 the night; startd reading ‘The Authentic Gospel of JESUS’ x Geza Ver-
mes © 2003 pub x Allen Lane of Penguin Books. It is still & cool now (8.10) & small fsh (trout!) r jum-
pin out of the water 4 midges. Wednesday 18/2/04. I bought ‘The Authentic Gospel of JESUS’ @
Readings in Lygon st, Carlton last week on wnesday b4 meeting up again with Andrew S (who said
Dave Tolley whom I think Iv mntiond in my writing was ailing) 4 lunch. The other book I got then was
‘Oracle Night’ x Paul Auster though Iv lready broken my vow not 2 read another Auster book (c ‘The
Hat’ p.5) on sevral ccasions 2 my regret. ‘Oracle Night’ whch I read straight away was equally dsp-
pointing. So why did I buy it? Sometimes I try 2 analyse my way of choosing a path or making a dci-
sion, so here goes. The word ORACLE had some nfluence. It was probbly the reason I pickd the
book up in the 1st place from the new rleases shelf. The commndations on the back cover wer over
the top & though they appeard 2 ndic8 his themes tersected with mine I knew 2 b wary of beatup & as
it turnd out I was rght. I had heard Auster was popular in france & Im clined 2 b fluenced x frnch cult-
ure (NB Adriana Cozzolini). I dont think I rmmbered @ the time th@ Freuds ssay ‘Das Unheimliche’
(its 1 of the most famous, every1s read it says Frank L & heaps of people (eg Foucault) hav rferred 2
it but I hav bn ntroubld x Freud havng read less x him than x Jung x whom Iv read nothing) whch was
in my possssion becoz I 1ted 2 take it on this trip was acquired x me as a result of a chain of events
whch startd with me reading ‘The Book of Solitude’ x Paul Auster after it was recommndd 2 me x
Frank L after our lunchtime dscussion on COINCIDENCES (c ‘22/110/01 – 2/11/01’ pp.2-3). It was the
1st Paul Auster book I had read & still the only 1 I recommnd. As I was about 2 rturn ‘Oracle Night’ 2
the shelf a beggar ntered the shop & askd me 4 $2 saying th@ he was hungry as he hadnt eatn 4 2
days. Still holding the book I rummaged round 4 ages rmoving numrous items from the pocket of my
panier 2 get @ the small change @ the bottom whch came almost 2 $2. I cant xplain why or how but
it was the event wth the beggar whch tipped the balance & nstead of putting it back I went & bought
the book. Now heres what Im getting @. I m not in the habit of †ing paths with my neighbours from
either Miller st or Locksley rd whn Im buying books though I get books oftn. In fact I can only rmmber
2 ccasions whn its happnd. The 2nd was last week as I was walking out of Readings with ‘Oracle Nig-
ht’ & I spottd Robbie Egan in the middl of Lygon st waiting 2 † the road in2 the stor wher it transpires
he works (with Dave Brown who though he doesnt practice nough (he says) is 1 of my favourite guit-
arists) selling books. I hadnt met Robbie 4 ages since he left the house (whch was sold 2 the Lalors
whom Iv mntioned in ‘25/1/00’) † the road a few doors north from us in Ivanhoe wher my 2 ldest kids
used 2 spnd much of their spare time. The only other ccasion I can rmmber meeting a neighbour whn
I was buying a book was whn I bought my 1st Paul Auster book ‘The Book of Solitude’. On th@ ccas-
ion I met Suzie Wall coming up the scalator from Readers Feast as I was about 2 go down. She advi-
3
sed me not 2 buy ‘Leviathan’ so I got the other book Frank had mntioned whch was ‘The Book of Sol-
itude’. Suzie grew up drectly oppsit from Robbie on our side of the street in the house (101) of the
friendly doctor who looks after my oesophgus. Apart from these 2 ccasions I havnt cn either of thm 4
years & its worth noting th@ Ivanhoe is about 10ks from the city. Flukey or not? I spnt a good part of
wdnsday night trying 2 answer the question. Is it “blind chance” as Paul Auster would hav us blieve
(ccording 2 critics)? It feels as if it should hav a meanng but I was nable 2 place it in a contxt I knew
of (2 assign meanng is 2 put in contxt). Is it worth noticing? Is it worth writing about? Who cares?
Mayb ‘Das Unheimliche’ will throw some lght on it but I dont xpect it 2 → Omeo (wher I bought what
turnd out 2 b 1 of the most tasteless hmbrgrs Iv eatn so I could read the paper under roof as it was
breezy outside) → Swifts Creek (wher u can get belly dancing lessons 4 $2 a go; in the window of the
community centr ther was a notice saying r u stressed & anxious? Suffering trauma? Experiencing
panic attacks? Have fears, phobias (etc) – if so I am currently studying me Masters Degree in Mental
Health Science which requires me to ex10d my practical experience through offering COGNITIVE
BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT) to anyone who would like to benefit themselves x reducing stress in
their lives etc.etc. The notice turnd out 2 b put up x Cathy (Ward) Smith who I was on my way 2 visit
@ their place 17ks further south in Ensay; 2 doors further I spected a book shop bcoz I was so
surprised 2 c 1 in such a littl town & found it blongs 2 Peter Gardner whom Iv mntioned in ‘11/11/02 –
20/11/02’ whch I had snt 2 him) → Ensay (Cathy was home wth a broken nose & no less thusiastic
about life than Dennis had bn whn I talked 2 him on monday; she is going 2 set up a practice in Lakes
Entrance; she runs a creative writing group & is working on a novl; she fl@red me x telling me th@ I
had made a major contrbution 2 her slf dscovery whn I taught her nglish in HSC & was the 1st person
2 tell her she was talnted in writing. Phew! Bruce got home around 2 & they had 2 race off 2 Melbour-
ne wher she had bn nvitd 2 listn 2 a talk x a famous german shrink. As we wer yarning the fone rang
& I nswerd it 2 save Cath having 2 walk over & it was Julie (wife of Adam Cadd (c ‘The Hat’ p.2) who
snds her rgards 2 u Don & who passd a message 2 me from Adam asking th@ whn I get 2 Pulpit Ro-
ck (southern coast of NSW in Ben Boyd park) wher they had just bn I was 2 look out 4 the sunglasses
hed left bhind) → Tambo Crossing (had a meal nxt 2 the water x the bridge) → Metung (I m writing in
the same pub overlookin the water wher we had a beer on the 2nd last day of our summer trip along
the coast; its 5.15 on a bright but mild day & the yachts r out on the water) → Tambo River (about 6ks
back 2wards Swan Reach (2nd night of our honeymoon, rmmber?) rght on the edge of the bank over
the water about 10 ft below. Ther r small black bream feeding off the growth on the rocks along the
bank undrwater. Ill spnd the night here. Contnuing from Ernest Gellners ‘The Origins of Society’ :“The
sheer diversity possible in a species of this kind, also makes change possible, change based not on
any genetic transformation, but rather on cumulative development in a certain direction, consisting of
a modification of the semantic rather than genetic system of constraints … But this possibility of prog-
ress, which in our culture we think of as somehow glorious, presents a problem. Initially, the main dif-
ficulty facing societies was to restrain this excessive flexibility. The preservation of order is far more
important for societies than the achievement of beneficial change, which only comes later, when con-
servation can be taken for granted, and when openings for genuinely beneficial change are available.
Progress is possible because change is possible, because the internal constructs of men allows such
a wide range of conduct. But most change is not at all beneficial; most of it would disrupt a social ord-
er without any corresponding advantage. Before we can explain how beneficial change is possible,
we must first show how too much change, with all kinds of chaotic effects, is avoided. This is not a
Conservative Party political broadcast but the point needs to be made. Conservation is the initial pro-
blem for a labile population, and it appears to be solved through deeply internalized concepts.” Thur-
sday 19/2/04. 9.00. Ther r blackberries † the road with some ripe fruit (2 + 2 the mango I had 4 bre-
akfast); a boat went past heading 4 the mouth of the river (in2 Lake King. C map 84 of Vic Roads Co-
untry Directory). I learnt a new word from the Vermes book day b4 ystrdy : ESCH@OLOGY & my wri-
ting is ESCH@ALOGICAL ie. it pertains 2 the “final period of the present era and all other m@ers
pertaining to it”. On a smaller scale I rturn 2 the m@er of knowing I hav finishd saying the things whch
wer mportant 4 me 2 say. A couple of weeks ago I rread my last 8 or so ‘pieces’ & spnt another 1 of
4
those sleepless nights rviewing what I had said & it confirmd my knowledg th@ I hav givn as clear a
ccount as I m capabl of. I should considr myslf 4tun@ as ther r many who would hav liked 2 giv fuller
xpression 2 thmslvs but hav bn prvnted x circumstances or lack of language. I m not 1 of thm. It wou-
ld b fair 4 some1 2 ask me how do I ‘know’ in case I dont know the meanng of the word. 2 answer I
suggest u considr what is the dffrence (the str@egy of) in saying ‘I m in pain’ 2 saying ‘I know I m in
pain’ & compare it 2 the dffrence in saying ‘I M SANE’ 2 ‘I KNOW I M SANE’ & compare it 2 saying ‘I
M NSANE’ 2 ‘I KNOW I M NSANE’. A clue : it concerns the balance btween ‘knowing’ & ‘meaning’ (c
‘12/4/03 – 24/4/03’ p. 16,17). Czeslaw Milosz (27/2/04. from slavic root ‘milo’ / love so th@ (Slobod-
an) Milosevic means lover. In litho : ‘miliu’ / I love, & ‘meilė’ / noun 4 love)(Česlovas Milašius in litho)
who claims he is a polish speaking lithuanian (he has a supposedly close rel@iv in the litho commun-
ty in Sydney who spells his name MILAŠAS) whos long life covers the period of both wars (1st & 2nd)
says th@ prior 2 the 2nd u could hav filld a libary wth books prdicting the evnts 2 follow. Did the literry
fr@rnty ‘KNOW’ or sens what was 2 come? I rather fancy an evn bigger libary could hav bn filld wth
prdictions (esp in germany) of a triumphant future & the immnnt rrival of the goldn age. Robert Musil
says th@ b4 the 1st war & the dmise of the civilzation of the Hapsburgs all points of view had their
rprsent@ives & their loud PROPHETS. I c (feel it in my bones, apprhnd, fear? sens) the nd & prdict
the dstruction of MPIRES & of CIVILZATION as we know it. Others c it dffrently & they may wish 2
in4m me th@ my VISION is faulty. But it has never bn my ntrest (or n10tion or politic) 2 speak 4 (rpr-
snt) others. I only speak 4 myself. I SAY IT AS I C IT. 4 it may b th@ every moment contains in it ALL
POSSIBLE FUTURES. → xplord further along the river ncluding its mouth walkng out 2 the spit whch
points drectly 2wards Paynesville † the lake; u get 2 this part via Punt rd & Reynolds rd; did a walk of
sevral hours 2wards Metung & back along the shore of the lake with swans (Cygnus atratus) making
flutey low pitchd music as I passd; ther r many spots in the area whch would b easy 4 us 2 park 4 the
night → Metung (paid $5.50 4 a hmbrgr as bad as the 1 in Omeo; the shopkeeper terpreted my
rquest 4 a bacon & onion 1 2 mean no salad; whn I was eating it a baby magpie kept pecking my toes
but whn I gave it some of the meat p@y the mother stole it. Bought 2 buns 4 2night but cldnt get an
Age as they had run out. Checkd Warren Willmans +ress (c ‘The Hat’ p.2) as I thght I should drop in
having bn nvited 5 years ago & dscovered its in Reynolds rd off Punt rd wher I had bn earlier in the
day. Will drop x l8r. I m back @ the pub again but @ an outside table rght over the water wher 2 coots
(Fulica astra) & a pied cormrant (Phalacrocorax melanoleus) r feeding x diving in2 the sea-grass. Its
3.20 so will spnd the night in the area. Checkd the mobile wher ther was a message from H left @
8.30 tuesday evening : evrything is OK) → found Warrens place but no 1 was home & a neigh-bour
said they wouldnt b back till after t so drove 2 the nd of Punt rd 2 a spot oppsit a l&ing area, jet-ties &
park th@ r out back of Johnstonville. Johnstonville is on the Princes Highway out of Bairnsdale going
2wards Lakes Entrance & Iv drivn countless times thrgh it wthout realizing it was on a river. Had a
swim x way of a wash & brushd me teeth & shaved. Time 4 a further quote from Ernest Gellner : “The
question of course arises, which came first : this extraordinary ability and variety of possible conduct,
or language? Obviously I do not know, but the point that has to be made is that the two are clearly
correlative. Once you have the possibility of an astonishing range of behaviours, it has to be
restricted somehow, and there has to be some kind of system of signs indicating the limits. This I ass-
ume is central to the origins of language. Language makes possible that astonishing kind of variety,
by allowing it to be contained. It consists of a set of markers delineating the bounds of conduct, boun-
ds whose genetic limits have become far too broad for any one social order. Only a species endowed
with something like language can have a wide range of genetically possible behaviour; and a genet-
ically broad range of conduct necessitating some mechanism ie. language : which restrains that whi-
ch nature has failed to restrict.” → got 2 Warrens place 25 mins b4 he had 2 leav 4 a “book reading”.
Warren & Adam, rogue males (if u can say it about JEHOVAS WITNESSES) whn I 1st met thm r now
both married : Adam 2 Julie, Dons sister, & Warren 2 Gabbi a german tourist who had bn a head nur-
se & now after 18 months of bureaucr@ic messing around is qualfied 2 work in ozzie wher we hav a
nursing shortage. She wasnt ther as she was on her way back from Melbourne after seeing some rel-
@ives off back 2 germany. Their house is in the village (no shops) of Tambo Bay (not markd evn in
5
the Vic Roads Country Directory) & has what is known in real est8 jargon as abslute water frontage 2
Lake King. I said Id call again in the next 5 years. Back here I had a biscuit, mango, & a cup of soup
(CONTINENTAL Cup-a-Soup Garden Harvest POTATO & LEEK 98% FAT FREE) closely watchd x a
pelcan who flew over from the other side of the river with some mpressive snorts & grunts as soon as
I opend the tailg8 of the van & startd messing about wth kitchn gear. I m 3 steps from the water @ the
spot I had a swim in earlier. I love it the way the wind drops @ sunset. Friday 20/2/04. Got up @ 7.30
2 a somewhat crisp mornng but its warmng up fast & the condnsation on the front & back windows
has already evapor8d. Straw necked ibis (Threskiornis spinicollis) r 1dring about in the paddock near-
by & a white ibis (sacred ibis) (Threskiornis molucca (recently T. aethiopica)) just flew overhead. 3
weeks ago on our usual friday evening @ the Bocadillo (6/3/04. the setting 4 ‘25/1/00’) Bar (wher
Paul Brickhill (c ‘3/6/03 – 12/6/03’ p.2) has bn noticeable x his absence since mine & Hs rturn & wher
Ive dscoverd from the waitress (who (5/3/04. found out her name 2night : Jemima Chan; (her sister,
Jasmine, has done a creative writing course)) is studying pharmacy (“1ce daily 4 just 1 week not 3”))
& had it confrmed x Victoria th@ Peter the very pleasant waiter (c ‘3/6/03 – 12/6/03’ p. 2) who has bn
@10ding 2 our rquests 4 a whole year is the TREASURER of the mining company PASMINCO moo-
nlighting as a waiter since his rrival in Melbourne from Sydney. What was th@ all about? Prhaps he
was gathrin m@erial 4 his other secret life as a writer. I m askn Victoria 2 pass this on 2 him (if he is
back from his holidays in Hong Kong) & hope he gets back 2 me on it : his conduct cries out 4 xpla-
nation. I underst& now why u lookd so tired early on a friday evening m8, with barely nough time 2
switch out of suit & tie after a week of countin $s 2 head off 2 the BOCADILLO in waiters garb. Hope
it was worth the trouble & u find an nding 4 the story) the BAD JOKE MAN (Grant ) poppd in after a
long absence 2 say hello. He has bn on my mailin list the whole time since I 1st mntioned him in ‘25/-
1/00’. His reappearance addd 2 a sense of circlarities & th@ something was over. After he gets this I
m taking him off the mailin list since I hav a good xuse now th@ I hav no mor to say 2 : TRIM THE
MAILING LIST. He askd “who did the picture of SADDAM the yanks put out rmind u of?” & strght aw-
ay I said THE BOXER (otherwise known as THE GREEK) who used 2 1der up & down Brunswick st
botting cigarettes & urinating in public till he got knockd over x a car & killd. Both me & the BAD JOKE
MAN had thght of going 2 the funeral but it was over x the time we found out. The BAD JOKE MAN
had plied his trade 4 3 years up & down ‘the street’ as a rsult of whch he is rcognized in the captals of
europ (has a girlfriend in Helsinki who is coming out to oz) & has dscovered he had 2 fan clubs in Me-
lbourne (yes, Adriana I mix wth famous people & it woz him who posted u the ARTE POSTALE letter
from Amsterdam whch 2gether wth the 1s posted from VILNIUS, ST. PETERSBURG & MOSCOW x
Danius Kesminas (“Did a bit of writin’/Gonna be a DJ/Read a bit of Nietzsche/And whatever comes
my way/Yea darlin’ gonna move to London/Take the artworld in a love embrace/I’ll meet everyone at
once/Start an ‘artist run space’”) who mght bcome evn mor famous (or nfamous) if our most popular
daily newspaper the Herald Sun on saturday january 3 on p.23 under a bold headline ‘Great Expect-
ations’ is 2 b blieved whn it claims (& ther is a foto of his mug flankd x the mugs of Andrew Demetriou
on the left h& & Mark Latham (our future PRIME MINSTER) on the rght h& side & a full lenth shot of
Guy Sebastian of ntern@ional fame) he is 1 of the 10 australians 2 WATCH in 2004 (& Im watching
the TRICKY little SO & SO (xuse the language (29/2/04. Got home ystrdy @ 1.30 am. H startd typing
@ 3.00pm trying out an idea I had of using dffrnt fonts 4 dffrnt classes of words b4 we finally ab&ond
it as 2 time consuming. In the evning it ccurred 2 me th@ now hes famous Danius mght object 2 me
calling him a SO & SO & sue me so I thght Id go over 2day & check wth him. About 5am Nick, Josh
(from Hay) & Damien (from Benalla) the musicians (& theyr gunna set up a sound studio! & on the
other side of us ther used 2 b an opra singer but thank god shes gon) nxt door rrived home & s@ on
their ver&a yarning away & singing not realizin they soundd loud nough 2 b in the house with us. H
got up & shut the window but it ddnt help. After sunrise but still very early I staggrd out of bed (I had
bn dreamin th@ whn I askd Danius if he objected 2 me calling him a SO & SO he was outraged th@
I was mplying he was versensitive) 2 nswer a knock on the door from a TAXI I hadnt calld. Ddnt hav 2
visit Danius as he was @ litho house (2/3/04. Thanks 4 the CD, Giriau, but I think I left it on the table
coz I was drunk from the BOČIUS Danius was buying 4 us) from wher Iv just come with Rohan Drape
6
& Niel Kelly & I ran it past him xplaining he should say he was outraged bcoz I hadnt said he was a
BIG SO & SO so I could say in the writing th@ he had said it but he got confused about what it was I
was askin him 2 do. Its 2.15 pm & H has just walkd in the door aftr her weekly visit to our ldest 2 rsu-
me typing.) Adriana) who rght now is in NZ in Janet Frame (whos 3 part autobiography ‘An Angel at
My Table’ I read 2 weeks ago) country vsiting Jane Craw4ds (6/3/04. who mght know Chris Brough-
ton, also a KIWI, @ the Errol st Wine Cellars opp. litho house who says Janet Frames autobiography
is mor a literry cnstruction (fiction?) than in the style, 4 nstance, of the great frnch tradition of n10se
autobiographical writng (2 whch I aspire ?). 2day he lent me ‘The Life of James K. Baxter’ (“better
than any ozzie writer”) x Frank McKay & ‘Brief Interviews with Hidden Men’ x David Foster Wallace, a
yank, who sometimes rminds him of Thomas Bernhard.) folk coz th@s wher she hails from) foold
even u, dscerning as u r, & had u 1dring about the STATE OF MY HEALTH) 1 of whch may still b
going. He used 2 carry a cardboard notice saying th@ 4 a $ he could tell u the 3 worst jokes or a joke
worse than u could but Tom Fryer of the MAKE IT UP CLUB whch I also mntion in ‘25/1/00’ (wher Rod
Cooper who was @ the door tuesday last week told me th@ the prvious night he had dreamd his wife
had rjected him bcoz his COCK woz 2 BIG) but whch was then calld IMPROVISED TUESDAYS (&
what I do is closely rl8d) stymied him with : Q : What did the cow say 2 the farmer? A : stop h&ling me
TITS & just get on wth it & FUCK me. (xuse the language again Adriana (whos l8st hyperbole is : “You
are extraordinary” & who wishes I do very well in her (5th in a row) ARTE POSTALE expozione titled
‘Lemons’ whch is on right now in Menton on the Riviera & I ddnt evn know I was in it but cest la vie as
they say in the casinos) but its how MUSICIANS in australie talk & I hav 2 rport it accur@ly). Prhaps
its not sprising then th@ Toms grlfriend (2 whom he snt the ARTE POSTALE (I cant bring myslf 2 say
: MALE ART) letter whch I snt 2 him x way of xmas/new year greeting whch had bn snt 2 me x Frank
Osowski) walkd BACKWARDS from Flinders st station up Swanston st & 2 the Flagstaff gardns
dressd in purple (royal colours since the Phoenicians & l8r much loved & used x church hier-archy)
wher she strippd off 2 medit8 STARK NAKED (compare it 2 my ffort whn I s@ 4 3 days STAR-K
NAKED in a heat wave watching a test match on telly eating nothing but YABBIES (bcoz a friend of
the Egans † the road was stuck with a mountain of thm (from Lake Albacutya in the mallee country)
after his business of supplying rstaurants went bust (he had bn ahead of the times)) washd down with
beer whch I would get wthout havng 2 st& up x calling out 2 1 of me kids 2 fetch another can from the
fridge. No 1der they r havng trouble settling down! Also compare 2 a man who dresses up in a suit &
tie & goes 2 work in a hghrise office in a city SKYSCRAPER 5 days a week 4 thrty or 40 years walk-
ing FORWARDS) then went 2 holland (Amsterdam?) via Kabul wher she now works as a CLOWN. Its
getting hot, Im having a dip. Put on the goggles & found the mango peel I had thrown 2 the pelcan
(Pelecanus conspicillatus) yestrday evening who had cght it in midair but droppd it whn it realized it
wasnt a fsh. Deep down the water is very warm & on the surface quite cool : why doesnt the cold wat-
er sink like I was tort @ school it should? → Metung (read the Age @ the pub over the water; a guy
threw a bucket full of whole fsh 2 a dozn pelcans; a cruise boat came in (about $30 4 3 or 4 hours) →
Nungurner (a swim off the jetty & 8 blackberries pickd x the h&ful) → Kalimna (checkd out an access
2 the lake I hadnt known of) → Lakes Entrance (bought frsh local fl@head & scallops (grilled) @ the
same shop we 8 @ on our way home from our midsummr trip; shoppd in Woolworths; filld up with pe-
trol; talkd 2 H @ school) → Kalimna (wher I m writing in the pub overlookin the lake & ocean from a
cliff & hav dcided 2 spnd 1 mor night in the area bcoz it would b good 2 read the Age either @ the
Metung or Kalimna pub) → Nungurner (it rminds me a bit of our spot @ Smiths Lake, honey, xept Im
more priv8 being shieldd from the jetty x a tree; thers a toilet in a little park about 150 yards away; fact
is Im beautfully situ8d backd 2wards the edge of a seawall looking out @ ½ doz boats moord nearby;
very slght lapping of water against the wall & hardly any breez. Dcided 2 prop here 4 the night. Satur-
day 21/2/04. Seeing as Frank L & Andrea (I had told Frank 2 pass on a copy of ‘The Marriage of Ca-
dmus & Harmony’ x Roberto Calasso → Andrea as a xmas prsent 4getting th@ if he was going 2 re-
ad it hed do it in the italian (whch he had). My xmas prsnt 2 Frank was ‘The Ruin of Kasch’) r so f@-
u8d with Gellners ssay I contnue quoting from a section wher he is xplaining the transition from a gra-
rian 2 a modern society : “Food production increases the size of societies : within large societies, the
7
logic of rivalry and preemptive action generally leads to a concentration of power. A formalized mach-
inery of enforcement supplements or partly replaces ritual. Food production and political centraliz-
ation, and also one further very crucial step, jointly constitute a necessary rather than a sufficient
condition of the next transformation which leads towards the kind of society we are trying to explain.
That additional third factor is the storage, not of material surplus, but of meanings, of propositions,
and of doctrine. This doctrinal and conceptual storage is made possible by literacy. This is that extra
step. The feasibility of the storage and codification of ideas is as profound in its implication as the
storage and socially enforced distribution of a surplus … The person who noticed, and took at face
value, the government of mankind by concepts, and built a theory around it, was Plato. Ironically, he
did it at the very moment when locally and socially specific, ritual born concepts were being replaced
by script born, potentially universal, trans ethnic ideas. His Theory of Ideas confirmed the control of
conduct through authoritarian concept norms by the attribution of transcended origin and authority to
those norms. The Platonic theory of ideas is, all at once, a transcendence, and yet also a king of
coming into self awareness of the Durkheimian world : it recognizes that a society is a community of
minds framed by concepts, which are, all at once, ways of clustering objects and ways of imposing
obligations on men. At the same time, he also sketched out what is really the generic social structure
of the agroliterate societies, namely government by warriors and clerics, by coercers and by scribes.
In his version, the two ruling strata happen to be conflated, the top clerics were meritocratically selec-
ted from the authorized thug class…. His crucial mistake , however, was ….” Nough of th@ 4 the
momnt. Here r a few quotes x Henri Michaux from his ‘Tent Posts’ whch r more 2 my taste : “If suff-
ering released a sizeable amount of directly applicable energy, what technician would hesitate
to order its harnessing and to have plants built for that purpose? With words like “progress, pr-
omotion, community need, “ he would silence the ones on the bottom and gain approval of those
who, whatever the scenario, plan on being in control. You can be sure of it.” Heres another : “A
scientist will always be more certain of his feelings when they’re of a type common to earth-
worms, icheumon flies, and rats. Don’t let yourself wait for that kind of permission. Go by what
you feel, even if you’re the only one feeling that way.” & another : “In a highly developed society,
its essential for cruelty, hate, and domination, if they want to hold on, to camouflage themsel-
ves, taking on the aids of mimicry. Camouflage into opposites is most common. That’s in fact how
those full of hate, claiming to speak solely for others, can best demoralize, suppress, paralyze.
That’s the direction from which you’d better get ready to meet them.” & finally (4 now at least) :
“In the room of your mind, thinking to make a few servants for yourself, more and more you’ve
probably been made the servant. Of whom? Of what? Well, look. Look.” Now Im in a quoting
mood here is 1 x John Cage whch mght b of nterest 2 Paulie, Tom Fryer, Ronnie Farella, Rod Coop-
er, John Grant, Tim Pledger, Ren Walters (whom I mntioned in ‘25/1/00’ & so I contnue the circlarit-
ies, closing the loop. Incidntally the road nxt 2 whch I m parkd, the only road along the 4shor of Nung-
urner, is calld Loop Rd.) etc. etc. @ the MAKE IT UP CLUB. Ren @ least claims he reads my stuff. I
m transcribing the passage from a magzine calld ‘SALOS’ (Hilas mght know it) put out x E. Džežuls-
kis, R. Eimontas, M. Stroputė, & my m8 Vaidas Žvirblis. Its from a speech John Cage made in 1937
@ a symposium orgnized x Bonnie Bird in Seattle & l8r reissued in 1958 in New York x George Avak-
ian : “Kur mes bebūtume, ka begirdėtume, dažniausiai tai : triukšmas. Kai mes ji ignoruojame, jis
mus trikdo.Kae mes jo clausomes, jis mus žavi. Sunkveržimis, važiuojantis penkiašdesimt myliu per
valanda greičiu. Atmosferos trukdymai tarp radio stočiu. Lietus. Mes norime apčiuopti ir valdyti
šiuos garsus, naudotis jais ne kaip garso efektais, bet kaip muzikos instrumentais.” Saulius Varnas
who has rsumed snding me hard 2 get music (another closing of the loop (27/2/04. Hows this 4 a
loopy story : ther r 3 Chusan palms (named x a british lord after he 1st saw thm on Chusan isl& off the
coast of china but whch rigin8d in the himlayas wher they r 1 of only sevral species of palm in the
world 2 survive winters under snow) in xellent condtion growing in the yard of an lderly lady in Buda-
8
pest who got the seeds from a littl old (82 years but tells me he is njoying life & 1ts 2 go on till 92 as
his mother had) balding busker who can oftn b heard playing a squeeky fiddl around Southbank who
also busks in Barcelona, Paris, London & Budapest & who is her brother. Dave Tolleys partner Dure
Dara said he is jewish. Paul Auster who is of jewish dscent also & livs in the same cinity as my son
Dan in Brooklyn, New York has other connections 2 this story 2 find out about whch u may hav 2 read
a book(s). I dont know the balding littl old buskers surname bcoz whn Tom Fryer who knows some 1
who was dopted & brought up x him told me the last time I was @ the MAKE IT UP CLUB I wasnt
lstenin proply. In my yard in Ivanhoe ther r over 30 Chusan palms whch I had riginally dug up (with
permssion) 4 free from yards in Eaglemont. Howver the largest 1 (over 10 ft now) is 1 I bought in a
tub 4 $60 from the wife of the littl old busker who plays the squeeky fiddl in Southbank, whn they livd
in a mansion of 20+ bedrooms (he said) in Eaglemont in a yard full of slf seedd Chusan palms.) see-
ing as he is also mntioned in ‘25/1/00’) whch he picks up in places like Paris & Tokyo will hav under-
stood what John Cage was saying. Warren Burt (who ccording 2 Dave Harris @ the last meetng of
the tuesday poets (vsual poets) is the new GRANDE FROMAGE of AXLE now th@ Tony Figgalo has
left) who is also in ‘25/1/00’ & who said @ the time th@ what I was doing was connecting people
thrgh myslf (Dave Tolley said I control people x my writing) is probbly lready familiar with the John
Cage MANIFESTO. Aldona Eugenija Kezytė ACJ (an obscure RC order all of whos mmbrs (esp in
pol&) hav died out xept the 1s in lithol&) whos book I bought last sunday (the lithos had gatherd 2
commmr8 litho ndepndnce day but I ddnt stay 4 the evnt. Howver I did eat the ‘kugelis’ whch was
dlicious as usual.) @ litho house in Errol st North Melb. whch is titled nigm@ically ‘We Are Unprof-
itable Servants’ & is an autobiography of her mssionary work in georgia & armenia writes in a h&w-
ri10 & signed scription on the flyleaf : “Nėra nieko uždengta, kas nebus atidengta, ir nieko paslėpta,
has nepasidarys žinoma (Mt 10, 26)”. Cant resst putting in a couple more passages whch may hav
some rlvance 2 the commnts made x Warren B & Dave T. Again from ‘Tent Posts’ : “The rock was
not given respiration as part of its lot. It does without it. Gravitation is the rock’s special bus-
iness. Your business will be much more with “others”, large numbers of others. So consider your
travel companions with discrimination, treating rocks one way, wood, plants, worms, germs anot-
her way, and animals and humans still another, not ever getting yourself mixed into them, espec-
ially not with those creatures for whom speech seems given principally for the purpose of gett-
ing themselves mixed with the greatest number, among whom, thinking they understand and are
understood : though hardly understood and hugely lacking in understanding : they feel at ease,
joyful, expansive.” & “ Because you’re multiple, complicated, complex and yet insubstantial, pres-
enting yourself as simple will make you a cheat and a liar. You are. But at least sometimes make
an effort towards sincerity instead of hiding yourself in the tide of the times or in one of those
groups where people get together out of friendship, simplemindedness, or wishful thinking.” &
heres 1 th@ Ren mght like (dspite the nternal contrdiction) : “ Harmonize your disintegration. But
not at first, not prematurely, and never definitively.” → Kalimna (sat in the pub 4 2 hours while I
drank 2 schooners ($3.80 x 2) & read the paper. I had a very ntellgent thght : I get my beer free or ev-
n make a bit of profit becoz if I was driving 4 the same time Id do about 100ks whch would cost mor)
→ Lakes Entrance (bought a dlicious piece of b@red gummy flake 4 $4.50) → Orbost (8 a bun x the
river) → Bemm River (it has a pub & a stor but the nearst petrol is 20ks away on the hghway; evry1
talks fshing (Vaidas would lov it); its raining lghtly so hav parkd 4 the night a few ks away @ Gunnai
Beach on the track whch nds up @ Pearl Point; m about 2 rsume reading ‘The Authentic Gospel …’.
Rain is getting heavier.) Sunday 22/3/04. I m quoting from ‘The Ruin of Kasch’ x Roberto Calasso ©
Vintage 1995. ISBN 0099576317 : “The cruel recklessness that intoxicated France between
the Regency and the Estates General brought with it, among other things, an attitude of
compl-ete indifference towards images, a temporary obfuscation. As Madame Geoffrin
said to so-meone who was boring her with an endless tale : “To be successful in France,
9
one needs big knives and little stories.” Big knives were being readied; little stories were
being told … On an island washed by the currents of the Rhine, a wooden pavilion had
been erected : “the house of the consignment”. There Maria Antonietta, as she was
called in childhood, became forever Marie Antoinette. The consignment took place on the
international border, which ran down the middle of the pavilion and through the great
table in the centre of the main hall. Marie Antoinette entered the pavilion from the
Austrian side. In the last room before the border she was slowly undressed before the
escort that had accompanied her from Vie-nna. Not even a ribbon or a hairpin was to
remain in contact with her body. She was then offered, naked …This act of sacrificial
stripping effected her complete transfer to the land that was clothing her with her
destiny. Protocol is the last power for protecting abandoned symbols. It ensures that
symbols, even when they are not perceived as such, can continue to act, often with an
added touch of sarcasm …. Marie Antoinette, her “terrible destiny sown throughout with
intersignes” had entered Strasbourg as a fourteen year old fiancee in a cry-stal coach
and thus drew near the threshold of the excess of meanings that would later ov-erwhelm
her. The crippled, the old, and the ill were hidden from her sight, just as they had been
from the young Buddha. On the island in the middle of the Rhine, the masters of cer-
emony had chosen the place where the archduchess was to be handed over, naked, to
her husband’s envoys. The special pavilion, its rooms decorated with the tributes to the
future queen, had been built to receive her. In the main hall one’s gaze became lost
among the vast tapestries, an inaugural gift from France. Goethe (ccording 2 Calasso,
ccording 2 Eduard Genast many years l8r on the mornng of august 27 had orderd his servant 2 place
2 bottls of wine on diffrnt windowsills then paced up & down the room pausing @ reglar ntervls 1st @
1 window, then the othr 2 drink a glass @ each pause. This evnt took place in Karlsbad wher he was
travlling @ the time wth his friend Rehbein who on ntring the room was greetd x Goethe wth the
words : dear friend! What day is this, & what is the d8? 2 whch Rehbein answrd : its august the 27th ,
excellency & Goethe said : no its the 28th & its my birthday (69th). They rgued about it till Goethe snt
his servnt 2 fetch the calen-dr whch showd tha@ it was the 27th. Aftr a long pause Goethe xclaimd :
Damn! Then I got drunk 4 nothing!), then a young student, made several visits there shortly
before Marie Antoinette’s procession entered the city. Setting foot in the great hall, he
saw something frightful. “ The room had been hung with a great many brilliant,
sumptuous tapestries, which were encirc-led by rich ornamentation and modeled on
paintings by contemporary French artists. Now, I might perhaps have come to accept this
style, since my feelings, like my judgement, did not readily reject anything entirely; but
the subject was too revolting to me. Those images told the story of Jason, Medea, and
Creusa : in other words they portrayed an example of an ut-terly wretched marriage. To
the left of the throne the bride was shown in the grip of the most appalling death,
surrounded by people expressing sympathy and grief; to the right was the father,
horrified by the sight of the murdered infants at his feet; meanwhile the Fury sped away
into the air on her dragon chariot. And just so this repellent, atrocious scene would not
lack a crowning touch of absurdity the white tail of that magic bull curled around from
behind the right side of the gold embroidered red velvet throne. The fire spitting beast
itself and Jason, locked in combat were completely covered by a luxurious drapery
…’What!’ I cried, paying no attention to the bystanders. ‘Is it possible that a young
queen, newly arr-ived in her dominions, could be so thoughtlessly allowed to gaze on
images of what may have been the most horrible marriage ever consumated! Among the
French architects, dec-orators, and upholsterers, isn’t there a single person who
understands that pictures repres-ent something, that pictures work on the mind and
feelings, make impressions, excite fore-bodings? Mightn’t they just as well have sent the
most ghastly specter to meet this beaut-iful and pleasure loving lady at the border?’” But
Goethe’s young friends tried to calm him, assuring him that nowadays nobody bothered
10
“to look for meaning in pictures; that to th-em, at least, nothing of the sort would have
occurred; and that all the people of Strasbourg and the surrounding towns, who would
gather there for the occasion, would no more ent-ertain such fancies than the queen
herself and her court.”” → Pearl Point (a 4ty mnute stroll west along the shor; mpty stubbies of
fshermn litterd the shor 4 anothr k aftr the point & almost mm-edi8ly aftr the last of thm I found a
perfct papr nautilus shell. Ther r 2 varieties whch get washd up here : it was the mor elgent & fragile
kind whch can b bigger than the other in this case covring my h& wth fngrs outstretchd. It was a 1 off
as during the rest of the day, carrying it in my h& so as not 2 dam-age it, I ddnt c evn a fragmnt of a
shell 2 ndic8 othrs had bn blown ashor prviously) → Dock Inlet (1 of the few rmainng pristine waters
along the coast of Vic; scientfic litrture claims its water has no access 2 the c but I found yrs ago wher
it flows thrgh dens t tree scrub in2 the stream just 2 the west & so out 2 c : so much for acdemics!
(4/3/04. c pp.95-96 of ‘Sites of Geological and Geomorphological Signif-icance in East Gippsland,
Victoria.’ 1981 x Ministry for Conservation, Victoria Environmental Studies Division © Publication No.
320. Prepared x Department of Goeography, Melbourne University. Printed x Government printer.
ISBN 072412621X) I hav nevr cn it wth so littl water. This is the lake, honey, wher wev got a foto of u
†ing it in the nuddy, chest deep, holding your day pack abov your head. Th@ was the lowst water levl
I had cn till then as the narrow in the middl of the lake is not normlly †abl. 2day th@ section is hgh &
dry & I walkd † wthout getting my feet wet. It dvides Dock Inlet in2 2 lakes. I had a swim not bcoz I
needd it on a cool day but motv8d x obscure notions of purifcation whch some mght call mystcal (note
daily purifcation rtuals practised x the Qumran sect in the time of the nazar-ene & john the baptist) & x
the thght th@ swimmng was good 4 me back, whch x the way, is not play-ing up. Walked about
xploring the shors of the lake whch r much easier 2 get about on wth the water so low. → Gunnai
Beach (I had left the van @ 10.20 & was back @ 4.00. The fshrmn who had bn @ Pearl Point in the
mornng (c@ching mullet, whiting, & salmon)(4/3/04. ie. Mugil cephalus (Linnaeus, 1758), Sillago
ciliata (Cuvier, 1829), Arripis trutta (Bloch & Schneider, 1801))wer gon whn I passd it on the way back.
M about 2 rsume readng ‘The Authentic Gospel …’ Ystrdy evning I read the summry of the Freud rtcle
‘Das Unheimliche’ & a bit of the riginal. I think it has no relvence 2 my observations on
‘COINCIDENCE’ & is probbly not the source of Austers quotes. I sppose some people may get a sens
of the uncanny whn ‘coincidence’ mirrors (ie doubles) meanngful evnts but I dont get the feeling. I m
just curious (& sometimes mazed) & 1dr how such ‘coincidences’ might b xplainabl. If Freud or any1
els has a solution I hope they draw my @10tion 2 it but I m equally happy 2 accept not knowin …
7.40. Just read the 2nd ½ of the riginal & was sprised 2 find how useless the summrized version had
bn. Yes Freud does tackl the problm I rfer 2 & Paul Austers quotes (whch I dont rmmber) no doubt do
com from here. & here I go again wth a long quote : “ every obsessional neurotic I have observed has
been able to relate analogous experiences. They are never surprised at their invar-iably running up against
someone they have just been thinking of, perhaps for the first time for a long while. If they say one day ‘ I
haven’t had any news of so and so for a long time’, they will be sure to get a letter from him the next
morning, and an accident or a death will rarely take place without having passed through their mind a little
before. They are in the habit of referring to this state of affairs in the most modest manner, saying that
they have ‘presentiments’ which ‘usually’ come true” & “ animism, magic and sorcery, the omnipotence
of thoughts, man’s attitude to death, involuntary repetition and the castration complex comprise
practically all the factors which turn something frightening into something uncanny.” & “the uncanny
proceeds from something familiar which has been repressed. We have noticed … nearly all the instances
that contradict our hypothesis are taken from the realm of fiction, of imaginative writing.” & “an uncanny
experience occurs either when infantile complexes which have been repressed are once more revived by
some impression, or when primitive beliefs which have been surmounted seem once more to be
confirmed” & TAKE SPECIAL NOTE OF THIS : “The situation is altered as soon as the writer pretends
to move in the world of common reality. In this case he accepts as well all the conditions operating to
produce uncanny feelings in real life; and everything that would have an uncanny effect in rea-lity has it in
his story. But in this case he can even increase his effect and multiply it far beyond what could happen in
reality, by bringing about events which never or very rarely happen in fact. In doing this he is in a sense
betraying us to the superstitiousness which we have ostensibly surmou-nted; he deceives us by promising
to give us the sober truth, and then after all overstepping it. We react to his inventions as we would have
reacted to real experiences; by the time we have seen through his trick it is already too late and the author
11
has achieved his object …. He can keep us in the dark for a long time about the precise nature of the
presuppositions on which the world he writes about is based, or he can cunningly and ingeniously avoid
any definite information on the point to the last. Speaking generally, however, we find a conformation of
the second part of the propositon : that fiction presents more opportunities for creating uncanny feelings
than are pos-sible in real life.” Hmmm! U b the judge. Monday 23/2/04. → Bemm River (so I can b
lookn out on the lake (Sydenham Inlet) 4 breakfst; its a nice spot 2 write & thers a toilt here. Ystrdy
evning I nearly jumpd out of me skin whn a low flyng jet headn west along the seashor (probbly home
2 the Sale RA-AF base) roard past out of nowhre. Ddnt get a chance 2 c it & thght what it must feel
like 2 get TER-RORIZED from the air. Ths mornng b4 dawn heard a wild dog. During the night, 4 the
1st time on the trip, I kickd out @ the side of the van wthout doing any serious damage 2 it or me toe. I
was kickn a metre long crab wth threatninly raised nipper (27/2/04. Freuds terprtation : concern over
my dmnishn LIBIDO has prmptd the mergence of an INFANTILE CASTRATION COMPLEX.) th@ I
was passing going the othr way in a narrow passage. It was @ the nd of what I thght in the dream
was a rdclously meanngless set of evnts so I editd (Ha! Ha!) thm out of my mmry rathr than fix thm
down whch would hav rquird me 2 wake whch I did anyway whn I lashd out @ the crab. It had
somethng 2 do wth me complainng about the mess the place had bn left in aftr a party or celbration &
then suddnly it was all spick & span 2 fast 2 hav bn done proply it seemd 2 me & I ddnt bliev it was
possble & then I had the ncountr wth the crustacean scuttln the othr way. Earlier in the nght a lot of
thngs had falln in2 place 4 me. I realizd th@ the techniques of doubling & mirroring used x Paul
Auster in ‘Oracle Night’ whch faild so misrably in my case, r borrowd drectly from the ssay x Freud
whch Auster probbly rread b4 writng the book. More signifcantly it is likely th@ a short ccount I had
read x him in an old copy of a Granta magzine (c ‘August 18’ p.5) is fabrc8d or @ least mbellishd. I
had bn sspicious of parts of it but nclind 2 accpt the truth of most of the rest. Its a pity he shld use the
xperiences he dscribes in ‘The Book of Memory’ (in the ‘Invention of Solitude’) (c ‘22/10/01-2/11/01’
p.3) whch I hope hav bn honstly rcordd 2 make a $ as a writer. & he does it x foisting the same tricks
on a gullble readrshp Freud dscribd thgh in turn Auster ppears 2 b a dupe (thgh equivocl) of the old
shrink himslf. Freud is rght of course in saying it is a writers prog@iv 2 nvent as he pleases. We giv
the writer his title as author in xchange 4 whch he givs away his credblty. Its a case of reader bware.
In my case it doesnt m@er since I m clined 2 defer 2 the final authorty of my own eyes & ears.
Nvrthlss I m pleasd 2 hav read ‘Das Unheimliche’ bcoz it fluences me 2 lay Paul Auster aside 4 good.
I find it ironic thgh th@ Freud shld draw such a long bow in his ccount of the xperience of the
‘uncanny’ both in the xamples he chooses & evn more in his xplnations of the mechanisms of
rprssions & trns4m@ions rspnsble 4 thm 4 its much easier 2 illstr8 magical, primtive thinkng,
doubling, & mirrrring x anlysing the edifice of Freudian theory & concepts than the rigins of the
‘uncanny’ xperience. Can u find anywher bettr xam-ples of doublng, mirrrring & shadowng, than
Freuds own conscious/subconscious, & the multplyng dentities of ego, superego & id? These notions
r a trns4m@ion of the mind (a kind of ghost of the br-ain) itslf a trns4m@ion of the psyche (a spirit of
the brain) whch traces its lineage drectly back 2 the soul (a ghost of the body). They hav all lost their
meanng 4 me & the quickr they r consignd 2 the trash bin of histry the happier Ill b. U can b certn th@
shld the ego, superego (in the frontl lobes I spose), the id & the nconscious (the ganglia?) rtain their
place in language & poplar folklore so will the mind, the psyche, the soul, angels & demons, ghosts &
the othr spirits of the air; 4 they r cousns & 2nd cousns of the same disreputabl x10dd famly. → Cann
River (took the Old Coast Road ovr the rivr & thrgh the forest bcoz I 1ce saw a dogxdingo on it & I 1td
2 avoid the hghwy; ths stretch has a 10dency 2 hav logs fall † it but the tree trunks on the rd all had a
section cut out wide nough 2 let a vhicl thrgh; skittld a large black snake. Cldnt get an Age in Cann
River so had 2 settl 4 the Herald-Sun whch is a bysmal paper (& ncites hatred) but I wntd 2 read
about Collingwoods thrshng x the Eagles. Wntd 2 buy buns but the only 1s in stock wer of the awful,
putty like, vriety typcal of Vic country tow-ns. Bought a hmbrgr & coffee @ the roadhouse so as 2
read the ppr @ a tabl. The hmbrgr was in wht r calld hmbrgr buns in the genral store wher I had 1td 2
buy buns & wher no doubt it had bn prchsed x the roadhouse as it dsintegr8d the very 1st time I put it
2 me mouth. Checkd the message bank & ther was 1 from H. Got thrgh 2 her @ school. Shes gettng
hrslf in2 a lather over the yanki speakr shes nvi-ted wth her grant money ($16270). This dude is
12
xpensive & xpects 2 b lookd after nxt weeknd prior 2 giving the talk on mndy. So H doesnt 1t me
home till after the weeknd bcoz she 1ts 2 dvote hrslf com-pletely 2 ferrying him around. I bet she is
not going 2 pay hrself 4 the effrt out of the grant money if ther is any left after paying him. I think the
talk is on Hs currnt hobby horse th@ it is more mportnt 2 teach kids the processes of gaining info
from new technolgies than 2 teach the info itslf. (5/3/04. His name is Jamie McKenzie, and
though a Yank, he is an acknowledged and respected authority in his field of expertise –
information literacy- and it was something of a coup to get him out to speak. I had no
intention of ferrying him around on the weekend , though he did wish to meet informally
for an hour or so on Sunday evening with a few of the participants of the seminar being
held on the Monday, as an ice-breaker. I did also go to the lecture on doing better with
fewer computers he gave on Saturday morning to 120 educators , as he had offered 2
free seats to our school in return for being able to borrow our datashow projector for the
session. No, I didn’t get paid – why should I? Every teacher I know spends far more time
on the weekends doing school work than I do, every weekend of the school year. Some
things we do because we believe they’re important – you write, I talk about information
literacy. To each his own. (and you don’t even have to type my stuff!) The seminar went
really well and I feel very happy about it, even though it took every ounce of my energy
and concentration to pull it off ….helenz.) Then I pulld in outside the pub prkng @ 45º (as many
towns in NSW do) on automatic & went in 2 get 2 stubbies 4 the rd. As I pulld away frm the pub a cop
tootd from bhind & whn I pulld up in the main st he said I had prkd @ a weird angl in a no prkng zone
& then taken the wrong lane whn I rspondd 2 his signal. He was wrong abt the no prkng zone & I had
tkn the wrong lane in cnfusion coz he was tootn me but he dm&d my licence & rang up 2 chck the
computr info on it. I sppose it took less than 10 mnutes & he gave the licence back sayng it was OK &
I could go but he noted I had bn rprtd missng & 1drd wht tht was about. I said it was whn I was
ncorrctly rportd as having brokn down on the shor of Lake Frome in centrl australia x a helicoptr from
a mining concern & the police @ Leigh Creek sent some1 out 2 check wht had happnd. The cop
seemd pretty happy wth the story & I drove off but then I realised it cldnt hav bn th@ ncidnt whch
was rcordd on the plice file but had 2 b the ccassion about 3 yrs ago I think (‘4/10/00 –5/10/00’) whn
H had rprtd me as missng 2 the cops so I could b rrestd on the hghwy on grounds of INSANITY. The
reason she had givn was th@ I was a danger 2 myslf or othrs. I had drivn off in haste 2 avoid the un-
1td @10tions of a coupl of hosptl workrs she had secretly summond who had just arrivd dm&ing I get
out of me van & talk 2 em. 1 of thm had stationd himslf in the middl of the rd 2 prvnt me rversng out of
the drive & I would hav drivn ovr him if he hadnt got out of me way. I hav a horror of falling in2 the clu-
tchs of nstitutions on any terms othr than my own as I think I mght b an abnrml persn & they mght b
nsenstiv 2 my needs. Anyway the plice ddnt pick me up as I was on minor rds avoidin thm (H had told
thm 2 xpect me along the Calder hghway) but the ncidnt triggrd a huge 3-4 day bout of paranoia whch
was a totally novl (but now Im recurrntly subject 2 it) & ovrwhlmng xperience 4 me. I drove abt r&omly
rgardless of day or night kept going only x the almost unlmtd supply of RAMAZZOTTI I had stockd up
wth. In retrospct I view the xperience as havng bn ssential 4 my education but @ the time it was …. I
dont know how 2 dscribe it. Aftr I rturnd & the plice wer in4md & we had a famly gathring 2 calm evry1
down & convince various mmbrs of the famly who had bn wrongly in4md th@ I was suicidal th@ I
was out of dangr we spent sevral days while I rcoverd & we agnized over the dcisions whch had bn
made & courses of action takn. I convincd H th@ I was unabl & unwillng 2 tolr8 normlty & th@ 2 put
the cops on 2 me 4 err@ic bhavr was a sure way of dstroyng me. H wrote & signed a letter on her
own nitiativ whch I put out in 1 of my pieces (‘4/10/00 – 5/10/00’) sayng she had bn wrong 2 act bhind
my back & she would not do it in the future. Only problm was th@ I was still listd on police rcords as a
po10tial suicidal or homicidal MANIAC. So H made various fone calls & visits 2 the cop shop xpres-
sng the dsire the rcord b xpunged bcoz it had all bn a mstake & ventually they ssured her th@ her
wishs had bn met & ther wer no mor rcords in xis10ce of me being a DANGEROUS persn. But now I
find th@ whn the cops run me drivers licence past their computr it tells thm I hav bn rportd missing & I
bet th@ bit of info isnt on wthout a refrence 2 a plice file somwher whch xplains why its ther, othrwise
13
wht would b the point of it? A couple of weeks ago I read Janet Frames (who died a week earlier) 3
part autobiography ‘An Angel at My Table’. She had bn lockd up in a madhouse & put on a short list 4
a lobotomy 4 whch her mothr (no doubt convincd x the medical authorities (5/3/04. It is a chrctrstc of
& a necessty 4 some of the most angelic womn (eg. Aldona Eugenija Kezytė of ‘We are Unprofitable
Servants’ (I m up 2 p. 92) who was in Vilnius (Vilna, Vilno) 1941 → & who in her nauseating bk fails 2
giv the slightst hint th@ jews had evr livd (& wer murderd) in the city. I @ribute her blindnss 2 the ma-
rriage of nationlsm (&/r tribalism, ethnicity?) x rligion whch she reprsnts.) 2 do wht they r told x auth-
ority.(5/3/04. Perhaps it is the result of millions of years of evolutionary exper-ience of
being dominated by the male of the species from the neanderthal onwards. You guys
were bigger if not uglier than us girls, and weilded bigger clubs and fists. Obedience to a
leader (male, because physically stronger) was necessary for the preservation of the
group in times of danger/threat. In some societies even today we obey our fathers,
brothers and then our husbands be-cause not to results in serious bodily harm. We didn’t
even get the vote till the beginning of the 20th century because the blokes felt we were
too soft in the head to manage it. I read the other day that Norman Lindsay, the artist
and voluptuary, referred to women as “the half-minded”. Someone famous in Eng-lish Lit
(was it Samuel Johnson?) said that a woman thinking was as amazing as a dog dancing
on its hind legs – amazing not because it is done badly but that it is done at all. Female
acceptance of authority is the logical (and no doubt desired) outcome of patriarchal
societies .Men cant have it both ways - independent thinking and the promise to obey in
the marriage vows are pro-bably mutually exclusive - helenz.) ) th@ it was 4 her daughters
wellbeing & a measure of last rsort) had signd a pmission. Some of the othr people on the list abov
her had rcently bn lobot-omized. It came 2 the notice of the new suprvisng dctr th@ 1 of his patients
had just 1 a litrry prize. It had bn rportd in the newspprs but Janet Frame in the asylum knew nthng of
it. The dctr mmdiatly took her off the lobotomy list & made the necessry changes in her trtmnt whch
led 2 her vntual rhabiltation. This was the only part of the bk wher I choked up wth nvoluntry spasms
(Iv just paid $15 2 the camp suprvisr who came round 2 collct it & 2 write down my name & rego.
Th@s just 4 1 night) & I kept xclaimng : “Th@s all it took! Th@s all it took!” I sppose wht I meant was
th@ it dmonstrd th@ the md-cal stablishmnt in the mntl hlth area r the dsguisd plice of societl norms.
& they will kill u @ the drop of a h@ if u r a nuisance. Lobotomy is dsguisd murdr. It wasnt so long
ago but people mght say times hav chngd, nstitutns hav modernizd. Let me tell u : human natur hasnt
changd, not 4 the bettr. Only the masks change. → Thurra River (cant b bothrd writng about it.)
(5/3/04. Microsoft Word just flashe d up a message saying there are so many spelling and
grammar mis-takes in this document that the automatic checker is being switched off in
disgust. Nice to know you can drive a computer up the wall – it sort of pays back for all
those times it does stuff to frustrate the user for no known reason - helenz) Tuesday
24/2/04. Ystrdy I saw a full size goanna, as long as me, in the camp area wth a blue tongue lizard
whch had bn drivn ovr & lready gon leathry in its mouth. It took a long struggl but finally aftr using a
tree trunk x rubbing the side of its head against it 2 push in bits of squashd lizrd stickn out of its mouth
sideways it managd 2 swallow it whole. Drove 2 the nd of the main beach wher the rd is now g8d &
walkd round the point 2 Honeymoon Beach 2 wher a beautfl holiday shack used 2 st& just abov the
beach on a grassy clearng. Its wher I was sheltrin from drizzly weathr wth some of me kids 1ce whn 2
chrctrs coming along the shor from the far nd of the beach turnd out 2 b Andrew S & Danius K. They
mght b ntrestd 2 know ther is no evdnce of the hut left, not evn the odd disgardd plank. The hut was
built x a prvious lghthouse kpr 4 his wife who had leukemia. The only sign of its 4mer xis10ce is a
species of magnifcent red flowring lily whch has takn hold in the surrnding scrub & is in flowr now. Nxt
I walkd up the rivr 2 the large dune. The bed of the rivr whch used 2 consist of large xpanses of s&
p@rnd x numrous ribbns of watr ccassionly collctng in2 wide pools covrng most of the rivr bed has
chnged dram@ically. Most of it is covrd x a green xpans of rushs whch hav bn abl 2 spread bcoz of
an absence of floods causd x yrs of low rainfall. The watr is oftn runnng in a singl narrow channl thrgh
the rushs. The great swmmng hole @ the bottm of the middl of the large dune has dsppeard as its
14
north eastly movemnt ncreasngly blocks the rivrs exit from the lake & swamp 2 the north. The deep
watr now starts rght @ the far nd of the dune & as u st& on the shor u look east-wds ovr sevral 00
mtrs of lake or deep rivr bed. Soon the exiting watr will hav 2 find a new course thrgh the forest 2 get
around the blockage. (just went 2 the toilt whch is well hiddn in the bush & found 2 l8 ther was no
papr left in the dspensr, nor was ther in the 1 nxt door; ther r gang gangs (Calloceph-alon fimbriatum)
about). Last night as I sank deepr in2 a dark mood it seemd 2 me I had dceivd myslf in2 blieving I
was comng here 2 look 4 papr nautilus shells & th@ my hiddn motiv (27/2/04. considr how I m
x10ding the meanng of the word ‘know’ (ie. the politics of the move) x claimng now 2 hav known thn
wht I ddnt know thn whn I was ther ‘on the spot’ so 2 speak? Do not use a Freudian xplan-ation.) had
always bn 2 com here, as some mght go 2 a church, 2 grieve. I used 2 com here oftn wth the kids &
evrywher I go brings back memries of thm as they wer then. I grieve 4 chldrn who r lost. I grieve 4 my
eldst son. I lay 4 hrs in a dark trance unabl or unwillng 2 look 4 words 2 giv xpression 2 it. I use words
2 dssip8 what I know, specially pain. If I could find thm I would b abl 2 multiply thm & sc-@er thm like
hailstones (whch melt) or share thm out amng my readrs, a few words each. As it was I lay wth moist
eys (tear ducts bcom leakier wth age) wth only the roar of the beach in the distnce ech-oing a misry.
@ ntervls thrgh the night a littl kid a coupl of campsites away would wake up & cry him-slf 2 sleep.
Grieving is a slf ndulgnce (27/2/04. so who is grieving, the ’I’ or the ‘self’? What is the str-@egy of the
divisn? 2 whos ntrests hav I givn in x using a term I was uncom4tabl wth @ the time I wrote it?) & I
had let myslf go. A much bettr way of dssipating it is 2 do practcl things whch r of help 2 a persn as H
does. I fell sleep 4 awhile & whn I woke up nxt I was thinkng th@ wth all the money the ntellgnce
services hav 2 spend & wth no obvious targts they r ndoubtdly linkng up evry conceivabl data bank 2
the plice computr so th@ ther is a capacity 2 drect plice 2 monitor any designatd group or c@gory of
persn thrgh their drivers licences. Prhaps they r lready testng it out & the cop in Cann Riv-er had no
bettr reasn 2 pull me up othr than he was spposd 2 familiarize himslf wth the systm on cca-ssions.
Dawn was greetd x a string of very loud liquid bird calls close x & I rmmbrd th@ lyrebirds (Me-nura
novaehollandiae) had always bn commn in the campsite → Parkd the van @ the g8 2 the lght-house
rd & walkd 2 West Beach whch is the 1 whch stretchs away 2 Clinton Rocks about 8ks furthr. 2 find
papr nautilus shells u hav 2 b the 1st 1 on the beach & I was but saw not evn a bit of brokn shell. But it
was good 2 walk away in2 a dstnt pristine l&scape wth no othr footprnts in the s&. Ther wer som
sprisingly large dingoxdog prints thgh (as ther had also bn @ Dock Inlet) whch gave me food 4 thght.
Othrwise ther was nothn out of the ordnary : the ccassnl COCONUT (the lghthouse kpr who had built
the shack 4 his wife had managd 2 get 1 2 germn8 & grow 4 awhile) mong the dbris & @ reglar ntrvls
carcasses of c birds specially littl penguins (Eudyptula minor novaehollandiae) wth their chsts torn
out. Iv bn on ths beach wth the kids whn wriggln yellow bellied c snakes wer being washd up aftr a
storm & on nothr ccassion a normous marlin (Makaira indica) whch mght hav bn 4 mtrs long was
beachd. ½ way along 2 Clinton Rocks I turnd round & went back 2 a spot wher u can † ovr 2 the
westn nd of the large dune. U walk up a gradual ncline 4 a coupl of ks till suddnly u peer ovr the top
edg & look down the steep side. It still mazed me & I came down the side wth a nitial frisson of fear.
Thn back 2 the campsite along the rivr bed wher ther wer no frsh ftprints +ed 2 mine from ystrdy &
along the coast 2 wher the van was parkd. In all it took a bit ovr 4 hrs. Now I m back @ the same spot
& will 4k out nother $15 (but x being here I save about $7 on beer) whn the suprvisr comes round.
Ovr the last couple of days Iv bn dstractd x Sigmund Freud & persnal commnt 4getting 2 xplain why I
put in the Roberto Calasso quote about Goethe. Goethes commnts strike a chord wth me bcoz I c the
same kind of deafnss 2 wht is being said in my contempraries as he saw blindnss 2 visual symbolism
in his. Language, specially in ethics, aesthetics, rligion is losing its meanng. It seems th@ historical
clamities r ndic8d, prhaps caused, x a prceding msuse of it. It may b it ndic8s a dsntgration of the
consnsus th@ maintaind stabl social structures. I look about @ polticians, churchmn, communty lea-
drs & thgh they r talkng loudr & fastr than evr, & wth the ppropri@ gestures, I dont think they hear wht
they r sayng themslvs. As was the case with Goethe no1 else appears 2 care or evn perceive a prob-
lm. Ther hav always bn seers who hav prdictd apocalyptic futures or the final days. I m in ancient co-
mpny. I try 2 loc8 wht it is in my srrndings whch would ccount 4 my 4boding. Prhaps its only my own
15
death I 4c & m cnfusin it wth the nd of evrythn. (5/3/04. Beware the self-fulfilling prophesy –
helenz). Wednesday 25/2/04. I must press on wth quoting frm the ‘Origins of Society’ x Ernest
Gellner othrwise I will hav fnshd ths piece wthout being fair 2 the rtcle & Frank (who wth Alec Drum-
mond & a lady (who is a serbian engneer workng as a libary @10dnt) r doing a sound per4mance
prsntation @ the libary. Frank told me a nice littl story : Alec, who likes 2 use blue language wth cco-
mpanying gestures said 2 the lady he was concernd she mght find some of his act ffensiv & she said
well thn dont do it so he said hed leav th@ bit out.) & Andrea di Castro mght feel I havnt done justice
2 their nthusiasm. Cntnuing from ‘Origins…’ “The shift from ritual to doctrine, as the central agency of
sanctioning the restraint which keeps society together … is supremely important. The orderly behav-
iour of concepts and of men is really attained by one and the same revolution … In one sense, any
concept is a ritual : it is a named cluster of expectations and obligations, triggered off by socially pre-
scribed conditions and contexts … reverence attaches to the fact that they form part of a unified and
orderly system … A society makes the first shift from a religion centred on ritual and magic and com-
mitted primarily to confirming stable status groups, when it acquires a class of literate scribes whose
speciality is the codification of doctrine. In their competition with freelance shamans and possibly with
other rival social groups, the scribes will stress the authority and primacy of doctrine, over which their
literacy gives them a kind of monopoly … the high culture, transmitted by writing and formal
education comes to constitute the pervasive culture of the entire society, defines it, and becomes the
object of loyalty …What I have in effect done, as anyone familiar with this topic will have realized, is
to give a very potted version of Durkheim and Weber, fused so as to form one continuous story.” →
Brushd me teeth, shavd, cleand the goggls wth tartar cntrol toothpaste & rinsd thm in the frsh watr of
Thurra rvr, & left @ 10 walkng east 2wrds Petrel Point. 1st dversion was 2 find the pool on Camp
Creek whch u get 2 x †ng the dune backng the beach abt a k past the Mueller rvr but wth all the new
growth I ddnt find the rght spot 2 † ovr. Ths is a great pool a few 00 yrds long whch the kids used 2
lov swmmng in. 1 yr me, Joe, Ben & Dan (walkng neck deep) follwd it out walkng down the middl of it
2 the Mueller rvr. A few ks furthr I 1td 2 chck on a spring whch I had nvr known dry & whch in some
yrs flowd a cou-pl of feet wide out of the dune & 4 a 00 or so yds b4 dsppearing in2 the s& again. 1ce
again I found evrything chnged wth dense scrub & full size banksia (integrafolia) wth closd canopy
wher 1nc ther had bn only a covr of low shrub. My NIX For Men ndrpants & thongs wernt ideal 4
pushng thrgh den-se grwth but I 1td a drnk as I like the idea of drnkng from a hiddn spring. Bsides I
had countd on it as I hadnt brght eithr watr or fruit whch I havnt stockd up wth ths trip. In the 1st place I
lookd I found a hole dug x anmals wth abt 6” of drty lookng watr whch I wsnt prpared 2 risk drnkng. I
managd 2 † the sc-rub again a coupl 00 yrds furthr west & dscovrd the ntire area of the spring & wht
had bn red clay littrd wth abrignal tools undr a covr of scrub & banksia. No sign of watr @ all. So I
1drd abt the dunes spr-ised @ how feebl I felt & how littl territry I was covring cmpared 2 my rambls in
thm 20 yrs ago. Back on the beach I walkd on 2wrds a pool abt a k ths side of Petrel Point th@ hikers
used 2 rely on wher u could take a track inl& whch brght u out 2 Wingan Inlet. I had eatn a tin of
kipprs in brine & 4 the sake of me kidneys I ddnt 1t 2 head back wthout a drnk 1st but whn I got ther I
found it cmpletely dry & the stream th@ feeds it was also dry as a bone. Seeing it mpty I was mazed
@ how deep the pool used 2 b. Whn its full its the size of a swmmng pool & 1 night I had lain nxt 2 it
thnkng I was dying. Th@ was aftr I had thrown up all the oysters I had prisd off the rocks & eatn & the
c urchns I had got x divng. I had rlied on the pool 4 rehydration but 2day I had 2 turn abt & head back
dry. As I was gettng 2 the spot from whch I was going 2 hav a nothr go @ findng Camp Creek I saw
wht I thght was a lone per-sn on the beach in the distnce 2wrds Mueller rvr. Closr up it ddnt look like a
persn so I checkd thrgh the bnoclars & it was a swan (Cygnus atratus) all x its lonesom abt 15 yds up
frm the high watr mark. Ths time I did find the ntry 2 the pool & swam up the tidl section 2 wher it is
fed x frsh watr runnng in2 it from a rocky stream & had the drnk I was fixatd on thgh I wasnt feeln
thirsty. Was back in camp @ 5 pm. The swan ncdntlly wasnt sick as I had smised & flew off 2 c whn I
got closr. Anyway Iv had t & drunk a cup of Continental Gourmet Chicken & Sweet Corn & m heatng
up watr 4 a cup of coffee (my neighbours r drnkng wine frm propr wine glasss. They r Anton Gibson &
Phoebe @ 2 Bath st, S&ring-ham 3191 & the wine is a Penfolds Rawsons Retreat Merlo 2002. Iv just
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givn thm my last 3 pieces of wrtng & promisd 2 send ths 1 but they ddnt offr me a drnk of the wine). A
couple of cmmnts on Gell-ners summry of how it all is. Frm some othr notes th@ Andrea gave me I
know th@ Gellner bcoms confusing & confuses himslf whn he tries 2 xplain his use of the word
‘concept’. 4 a mor usefl way of dfining the word c my commnts on specific gravity in ‘14/8/41’. Also I
think its a pity he ddnt use the xampl of ntellectual proprty rights 2 llustr8 how systms of concepts
nterlock. 4 ths notion 2 b ffective legal, commrcial & govt structures hav 2 join in2 a singl mutually
comp@bl whole. In 1996 the US bombd & oblitratd (undr the prtxt of limnating WMDs) ½ the
farmceutcal ndustry of sudan aftr comp-laints from its own ndustry th@ the sudanese wer
manfacturing drugs outside licensing laws (drawn up x the west). In sudan people die like flies 4 1t of
simp antibiotics whch r easy 2 prduce if u know how but the ntellectual rghts 2 whch r ownd x larg
cmpanies in the west whch r oftn only prpared 2 sell medcines 2 the 3rd world @ prices a4dabl only 2
the very richst in thm. X way of furthr cmmnt rel-vent 2 all of us theorizrs here is a nother quote from
Henri Michaux : “Every person has observed wrong ideas held by others : ideas that stay wrong.
How can these ideas with all their flaws not appear wrong to these people? That ought to be
troubling. Why wouldn’t the same thing apply to oneself, to you? Ideas untouched by any
objection. Futile, experience proves, to try correcting them. All their roots would have to come
out. And these wrong ideas – from nearby, or one’s own surroundings – what if you were to
“catch” them or others like them? No, don’t worry. As long as you hold to your own ground you
have no chance of picking up their bad ideas. For this same rea-son you have only a slight chance
of picking up some of their excellent ideas of the same sort. They wouldn’t live on your land.
And what substitute could you find for the missing mother-roots? Still, you need to stir your
compost around from time to time. Otherwise, a withering, even a falling away.” Its gettng dark so
I mght as well wind up but I shld mntion Iv workd out the meanng of the dream I had a few nights
back (23/2/04). The crustacean symbolized the foundational structures of language & brain. It may b
cartesian dualsms hav bn in place 4 so long & r @ the base of so much els in our language th@
histry alone (28/2/04. Why ‘alone’? Mayb histry is the most mpo-rtnt.) nsures it is no longr possibl 2
dscard thm but only 2 rplace (trans4m) 1 set & its high priests wth a nothr set & its xperts. Freudian
theory is a kind of ‘modrn’ rligion. The way language systms ntegr8 is not limitd x the complexity of
our brain & nervous systm but the ncreasing complexities made avail-abl x the way peopl can nteract
wht each othr & groups wth groups. We cannot know wher those possbilties r taking us & it may b
th@ if the foundatnl structures r undrmind & collaps so will the whole illusion. Thursday 26/2/04. In
the ‘Authentic Gospel …’ (I m 1/3rd of the way thrgh it) Geza Vermes points out th@ the ccount x the
greek gentile (& writtn in greek as r the othrs) Luke (or x a scribe wri-tng Lukes words or the words of
othrs rcallng Lukes words with the words “according 2 Luke”) has already mbarkd on the process of
the deification of JESUS of nazareth. A way in whch it diffrs frm the ccount x Mark (who mght hav bn
an aramaic speakng christian jew & whos words r thght 2 hav bn rcordd (x him or x a scribe writng his
or the words of othrs rcallng his) some 10-30 yrs earlier is th@ in Mark jesus is still llowed 2 ask
questions (of the type : how long has she bn dead?) showing a human lack of knowldg whereas x
Lukes version they hav bn editd out as if nconsistnt wth an all knowing deity. Yet if the miracls r 2 b
xtraordnary it can only b if they r per4md x some1 who is human (in my readng of the gospls jesus
nevr made an unequivocl claim 2 divinty) & limitd x language. If u can blieve in the miracls (x defnition
somethng th@ cannt be done othrwise we wldnt be ntrestd in thm mor than we r in rare evnts or
freaks of nature) thn it shld b possibl 4 u as it was 4 his listnrs 2 blieve in anythng he said howevr
mpossbl. In whch case the lost need not fear, the destitute will b rwardd, & the dying com4td. I gree
wth Wittgenstein th@ the christian edifice rquires th@ the nazarene rose from the dead & walkd
bodily amng his dscipls. Unless we blieve in the resurrection we cannt blieve in his continuing
prsence xept as a figr of speech & would u pray 2 a figr of speech & cld it nswer your prayrs? But if I
wer 2 blieve in it I hav 2 ccept th@ words hav no meanng & the task in whch I m nvol-vd is obscure.
Yet as a persn who writes I hav no choice but 2 go wher they take me, thgh it b in cir-cls. Ovr the 3
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wks Iv bn in Melbourne since rturning from our summr holidy prior 2 ths trip Iv bn tellng evry1 how if I
was 2 continue writng I was going 2 take out the gaps from btwn the words (whn we wer in Sydney
Louis gave H the computr nstructns how 2 do it) makng wht I say almost mpossbl 2 comprhnd &
llowing me in2 a style of writng whch was mor visual ngagng the ey rthr than the ntellct. I 1td solid
type flowing down the page p@ernd x varying fonts like eddies in the surfce of watr. I had also bn
tellng my friends 4 wks th@ I was headng west 2wrds the Eyre Penisula on a snorklng trip. On the
mornng I wnt I left a note 4 H on the ktchn tabl saying I was going east & I still havnt done any
snorklng. Ystrdy I dcidd (its why Iv rsumd using hyphens whch Iv bn leavng out bcoz the computr nte-
rprts thm as nstructions 2 shift evrythng aftr thm 2 the nxt line) th@ @ least 4 ths time I would probbly
rtain the spaces btween the words. Whch givs me an xcuse 4 a finl quote, again frm Michaux. I hope
som of the musicns who get my writng get far nough in2 ths piece 2 read it as it applies just as well 2
the mprovisrs @ the MAKE IT UP CLUB as it does 2 writng & the visual arts : “Is style – that conv-
enience of settling oneself in and pinpointing the world – really the man? That questionable ach-
ievement bringing praise to the reveling author? His assumed gift is going to stick to him, slowly
turning him sclerotic. Style : a sign (a bad one) of an unchanged distance (but that could have,
should have, changed), a distance where he mistakenly stays and one he maintains regarding his
being, things, and individuals. Blocked! He threw himself into his style (or laboriously sought it
out). For a life on loan, he let go of his wholeness, his possibility for change, mutation. Nothing
to be proud of. Style that will become lack of courage, lack of openness, of renewal : in sum, an
infirmity … Try to get out of it. Go far enough into yourself that your style can’t follow.” (6/3/-
04. Interesting that Michaux’s style is so obvious that even I, who has only been
acquainted with him by typing this piece, can recognize it instantly – helenz) → Left @
10.50 & walkd along the shor 2 Point Hicks & then rock hoppd 2wrd the lghthouse. ½ way round
came † a larg fur seal asleep on the rocks just out of range of the surge. Seals r oftn hard 2 get close
2 but ths 1 was sound asleep so I was abl 2 get wthin a yd of it st&ing ovr it on a bit of a ledg & ready
2 jump out of the way . I could hav touchd it but its not advisabl as they wake wth a start & lun-ge in
the drection of the watr. Ths anmal would hav bn my length & double me weight. I clappd a coupl of
times & it opnd its eys blearily & went back 2 sleep. Thn I kpt clappng & it peerd @ me sleeply again
& had just closd its eys 2 rturn 2 wht must hav bn an xtremely dreamy slumbr whn the penny droppd
& it lungd in2 the watr & ddnt surfce tillit was out past the last rocks a 00 yds away. Frm the point
oppsit the lghthouse I could make out a raft of about 50 larg seals lying stationry in the wa-ves. Frthr
round again I had a look undrwatr wth goggls & came on 4 Port Jackson sharks (Heter-odontus
portusjacksoni
) in only about 8 ft of watr. 1 was a baby only a ft long. I manh&ld 1 of the biggr 1s but it rmaind inert.
Their skin has the txture of s&papr. The watrs around Point Hicks r now a marine cnsrvation zone & I
was xcited 2 c large abalone in numbrs wherevr I lookd. From ther I went along West Beach wher I †d
in2 the low nd of the large dune & up & ovr back along the rivr. Saw a beautful firetail (Emblema
bellum) fly out of the reeds. Its a bird I rarely c these days. Back in camp @ 4.15. Bn talkng 2 Anton &
Phoebe. They get about 4 such a young coupl. Anton used 2 b brght here as a kid x his parents who
now do long trips 2 places like Darwin, the Kimberleys etc. Ncidentlly they nvitd me 4 t ystrdy but Id
eatn. They had a go @ findng Camp creek but my drections wer not up 2 it. 2morrow Im putting in the
ntry 2 finish off the piece Im putting out & heading out of here. Normlly Id b racing home anxious 2
hav the typing done but Ill be taking it slow thrgh hill country so the yank I.T. GURU (28/2/04 ‘A
Morning with Jamie McKenzie’ : “ In this presentation Jamie McKenzie suggests a dozen ways to
optimize benefits from the new technologies ..." etc @ the Grand Hyatt Melbourne) is gon good &
propr b4 I get back. Dont know why H takes on these ultra nerve wrackng orgnizationl jobs @ an age
whn most people r rtired. (6/3/04. Perhaps its about dogs and dancing. But its more about
the fact that its difficult to get people to listen to good stuff unless there is an an
acknowledged expert talking about it. As a society we like Gurus. I have been saying the

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very things he says for many years, but have been ignored. That’s what happens to
prophets in their own country – helenz). Its only 5.45 & Iv got time 4 a few hrs of readng. Friday
27/2/02. As I said, the 1st piece of writing in the 1st of the 4 foldrs (1 / year) whch hold the work
Iv don since I bgan h&ing it out is a 1 page ssay titled ‘ART’ (anagram of R@). In it I wrote th@
if I wer n rtist whch I said I wasnt my aim would b 2 loosn the joins whch hold 2gethr the
fragmnts of colourd pane whch provide the prspect-ivs thrgh whch we view the world &
ourslvs. I said I would rathr rock the boat than b 1 of thos who rows it. I hav bn neg@iv. I m the
rverse side of the coin – tail 2 the head. I hav xamind & undrmind edifices built from words
(worm in the cor; termite in woodn foundations). Let othrs build. I m s&. If ther wer a pebbl
whos rmoval triggr the l&slide whch brings down the ntire hillside I would rmov it (I hear
rumbling). Othrs make laws & prvide nswers. I giv reasons why ther r no nswers. I ask
questions. I hav bn calld a cynic – a dog. I accept the title. I m shadow 2 a rising sun.

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