How To Overcome Shyness

5 Scientifically-Backed Shyness Tips And Little-Known Psycholo ical Techni!"es That #ill $ake %o" $ore Social and &onfident http'((shynesssocialan)iety*com(how-to-overcome-shyness(
+n This Article,

- Bi .easons #hy %o"/re Still Shy* Discover why your shyness is not your fault, and how the people you trusted gave you bad advice. 0#eird1&onversation Tips* Learn a simple technique for always knowing what to say next. Also, 2 conversation !LL"#$ you absolutely must avoid. How To &han e %o"r Personality* "veryone tells you to %be yourself&. !'ll show you how to ()A*+" yourself instead. ,his is the secret to making people like you.

See the "y on the ri ht2 ,hat guy used to be the quietest guy ever. ,he most shy person you would ever meet. ! know, because that's a photo of me.

+ "sed to 3e the "y who 3arely talked around people ! didn't know well. ! had a hard time keeping a conversation going or thinking of what to say. + was often nervo"s and an)io"s* "specially talking on the phone or in front of groups of people. ! D#"AD"D public speaking. + had never had a irlfriend 3efore* !n fact, ! was still a virgin at 2- years old despite being a decent.looking guy. + didn/t have a solid ro"p of friends* Although ! was comfortable being by myself, ! really wished ! could have a few friends. $ometimes ! got so bored when ! was lonely. ! didn't understand why people didn't seem to like me all that much. + was also insec"re a3o"t the way + looked* ,his D"/!*!,"L0 didn't help my confidence.

!f you can relate to what !'m saying so far, then !'ve got good news. 1n this page !'ll share with you some little.known techniques and ideas you can use to overcome your shyness. !ncluding a simple technique that will let you always know what to say next in conversations. 2ut before ! get to that, the question you may be asking is3

0#ho Are %o"4 And How 5id %o" Overcome %o"r Shyness21
4y name is $ean (ooper. "very month thousands of people come to my website to learn how to overcome shyness or social anxiety. !'m considered an expert in the area. 2ut it wasn't always like this. 6rowin "p4 + was invisi3le* !n fact, ! tried to 4A " myself invisible. *ever raising my hand in class, talking quietly, keeping to myself during lunch, not doing much outside the house, not making friends, and so on. ,his was me all throughout elementary school and high school. $ometimes ! feel like ! wasted those years when ! could have made some lifelong friends and created some memories. After that ! moved out of my parent's house to go to university. ! was going to a university in 1ttawa 5that's the capital city of (anada6. $tarting the year, ! had high hopes. ! thought that maybe ! would be able to %start fresh&. 4aybe if ! got away from the people ! knew in high school ! could let go of my old shyness. 4aybe ! could make some friends and 3 who knows 3 even get a nice girlfriend. 2ut my hopes were soon shattered. Although ! had moved to a new place 3 ! reali7ed something horrible. + was still me* ! had carried %my old self& with me to the new city. 4y old insecurities and fears came rushing back as soon as ! moved into my room. ! was living in a big house with eight roommates and3 guess what8

+ Spent $ost Of $y Time Tryin To Avoid All Of Them7

9henever ! had to eat, ! tried to make sure no one was in the kitchen. ! tiptoed around so people wouldn't hear me going to my room. 1n the weekends, ! shut myself in my room and prayed nobody would decide to invite friends over. $y e)treme shyness was makin me isolated from friends3 from a girlfriend3 from having a life that was actually interesting. And even though ! was living in a house with several people, ! was starting to feel like a cra7y hermit. A complete loner. 1ne day ! overheard a couple of my roommates talking about me.

%Did you see $ean this week8& %*o, ! barely ever see him at all. 9hat do you think he does all day8& %9ho knows8 4aybe he's sitting in his room watching porn. )e's a pretty weird guy.& + felt like + wanted to crawl into a hole* ! won't bore you with the details, but it was around that time ! decided to try something desperate. ! decided to spend several months going through every psychology book that was even a little bit related to shyness. ! read scientific studies, ! read the bestselling %(onversation ,ips& books at the bookstore, ! listened to audio programs and video seminars on confidence.

+ Became O3sessed #ith 8indin A Sol"tion To 9nd $y Shyness7

And what ! discovered is that there really is no one single solution out there. 2ut3 there were one or two useful tips or techniques ! could learn from each book or product ! went through. And when ! combined them all ! started to see myself making ama7ing progress. Of co"rse4 chan e didn/t happen overni ht* Anyone who tells you it does is probably a scam artist. !t took me a few weeks to figure out what worked and really make any progress3 A few months later people were starting to comment about how %different& ! was. 1ne of my classmates even started calling me %*ew $ean&. :ow4 a co"ple years later + have a ro"p of friends4 a social life4 and a irlfriend . something ! thought would never happen: !'m not some super.confident guy. 0ou're not about to see me singing on stage at a rock concert. 5! don't think that's the type of confidence you're looking for either.6 !nstead, !'m still a regular guy, but with above average social skills. 9hat does that mean exactly8

+ma ine 3ein a3le to talk to anyone effortlessly* *ever worrying about what to say next or whether you're going to create an awkward silence. +ma ine 3ein a3le to walk into a room of stran ers and confidently introduce yourself to anyone and make a good first impression. +ma ine 3ein a3le to walk over to someone yo" find attractive and strike up a conversation3 get their number3 and go on a date later in the week. 50es, !'ve done this plenty of times.6 +ma ine 3ein a3le to 0fit in1 at any party or ro"p conversation instead of standing off to the side. 1r worse, avoiding groups altogether because you'll be too quiet, boring or uninteresting.

And the list could go on. 2ut this post isn't meant for me to brag about what ! can do. !t's about giving you some useful information. $o you can start experiencing the same results. !'ll start off with3

- Bi .easons #hy %o"/re Still Shy

;* :o3ody 9ver 6ave %o" Specific4 Actiona3le Steps To Overcome %o"r Shyness
,he first reason why you're still shy is because of bad advice. 9hen ! was shy, the only advice ! heard was;

%<ust talk:& %<ust be social:& %<ust pretend to be confident:& %/ake it 'til you make it:&

1kay, sure3 HO#7277 ,he problem is, advice for overcoming shyness is ==> garbage. !t's usually given by people who have never had the problem themselves. 0our parents, friends, or teachers simply don't understand it. ,hat's why they tell you the types of useless phrases ! listed above. "ven the published books and articles on shyness usually suck. ,hey're usually written by psychologists who know a lot about the causes of shyness, but don't know how to overcome it. 1r they're written by people looking to make some quick cash. 4ost books ?ust tell you to %focus on other people& or stand up straighter. #arely do they give any concrete techniques or steps that make a difference in the real world. ,his is why ! decided to make this website. ! wanted to share the tips and techniques for overcoming shyness that ! had proven to be effective. ,he difference is that !'m speaking from personal experience. ! think that %shines through& in most of the articles ! write here. ,he second reason why you're still shy is because3

-* %o" Believe Shyness +s A Part Of %o"r Personality

9hen you were young, someone may have told you, %0ou're shy& or %0ou're quiet.& ,his assumes that shyness is a part of your personality or identity. ,hat !t's something you were born with or have developed over time to become a part of you, like your hair or feet. 2ut the truth is, shyness is not a part of your personality. Think a3o"t it' Are yo" shy all the time2 Are you equally shy when you're talking to someone new as when you're talking to your closest friend8 )ow about when talking to a group of people versus ?ust one person8 *o, you aren't. $o what does this mean8

T.<TH' Shyness +s A Learned Behavior

$hyness is a learned behavior. !t's a set of mental and physical behaviors you've learned to use to react to certain situations. ,he amount and the type of reaction you feel depends on the situation. ,he important thing to understand is that nobody has shyness or anxiety in every area, it always relates to specific situations. )ere's a few more examples;

0ou may not be able to make conversation with strangers easily, but there's probably one or two people in your life who you can talk to effortlessly. 0ou may not be able to make a speech in front of many people without sweating and shaking, but you can talk to one person comfortably. 0ou may not be able to make eye contact with someone you are intimidated by 5like an authority figure6 or someone you are attracted to, but with other people it's much easier. 0ou may be !"iet and hard.to.hear when there's lots of people listening, but when you're in a private room you can speak as loud as you want.

$o stop assuming shyness is a part of your personality and turning it into an unchangeable identity. Don't say; %,hat's the way ! am.& $ay; %!n this situation3& $hyness is a set of thoughts and behaviors you have learned to use in certain social situations. This also means yo" can "nlearn these tho" hts and 3ehaviors and replace them with new ones. !'ll explain how a little later on this page. /irst ! need to teach you something pretty cool3

&onversation Threadin 9)plained

A Simple Techni!"e 8or Always Knowin #hat To Say :e)t +n &onversations

Do you ever have a hard time keeping a conversation going8 Does it ever feel like you run out of things to say8 Do you hate awkward silences8 9hat if ! told you that the next time you talk to someone, you could talk more easily and effortlessly than ever before, ?ust by applying one simple 5but little.known6 conversation technique8 0ou don't have to take my word for it, ?ust click play to watch this video.

The Techni!"e +n The =ideo 9)plained'

,his little.known conversation technique is called @(onversation ,hreading'. /or years ! have been using this technique to make shy and socially an)io"s people 3ecome instantly 3etter at makin conversation, once they get the hang of it. $o how does conversation threading work8 ,here are A basic steps; ST9P ;' The other person says somethin *

ST9P -' %o" notice the threads* $ounds tough, but it's really easy. Let me explain3 Threads are 3asically topics or 0s"3>ect words1 inside a sentence* "very sentence has a few of these threads in it. /or example, take the sentence, %! saw 2ob at the mall last $aturday.& ,he threads, or topics, could be 2ob, mall and last $aturday. All threading is, is noticing these topics and then saying something about them, which is3 ST9P ?' Pick a thread and respond* $o for the last sentence you simply pick one of the topics mentioned and say something about it. $o let's respond to the threads in the last example;

Bo3 B ! tried out for the football team with 2ob last year. )e made quarterback and crushed all the new guys. $all B )ave you been to the mall lately8 ! can8t believe they8re closing down the movie theatre to build a new clothing store: Last Sat"rday B Last $aturday ! went camping for a family reunion. ! never want to share a tent with my brother again.8

,he cool thing is, all of these replies will make the conversation flow smoothly because they relate to what the other person said before you. 2est of all, this simple technique is ama7ing at eliminating awkward pauses once and for all: "asy as pie

#emember to ,"$, this technique out in the real world. ! may take you a few tries to get the hang of it. 2ut once you do, you'll find that making conversation has become several times easier: $ince you've taken the time to read this far down the page, !'ll also share with you two more tips3

Avoid These - &onversation Killers7

;* Avoid 6ivin One #ord .esponses

1ne of the easiest ways to kill a conversation is to not contribute any new threads.

!f you only give a one.word reply to someone, then you're making it hard for them to continue talking. !f you are asked something that can only be answered in a one word reply, make sure to follow up with a question C statement. 9)ample'

Them B Are you still going to college8 %o" B *o

"nd of conversation because you didn't add anything here.

Them B Are you still going to college8 %o" B *o. ! decided to take a break for a year to travel and get some work experience at D0E (ompany.

0ou added something to the conversation and bam: 0ou have something new to talk about:. Like %9here did you travel8& or %! know <im who works at that company&.

-* Avoid Askin %es(:o @"estions

,ry to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple yesCno. 9)ample'

%o" B Do you like this musician8 Them B 0es.

,he worst thing you can do is ask several of these questions in a row. !t'll feel like you are interrogating the other person. !t's much easier for the other person to contribute if you keep your questions open-ended.

%o" B 9hat do you think of this musician8 Them B )e's not my favorite, but ! don't mind him because he sounds like 2ob Dylan.

4akes sense8 [Note: Right now this page is under construction. I'll be adding more in the near future.]