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How To Win Him Back - The 6 Step Formula to Get Your Ex Boyfriend or Husband Back 4 My Story The Breakup of the Century Is He Worth It? The 6 Step Formula Step 1 - Quit Cold Turkey How a Habit Works Quitting Requires a New Routine How to Quit Cold Turkey Accept the End The Attention Starved Relationship Step 2 - Have FUN! Happiness and Cheerfulness are Irresistible The Negativity Trap Be HAPPY for Him Overcoming the Argue-Reflex Step 3 - Make Some Constructive Changes Not All Changes Are Constructive Exercise and Take Care of Yourself Choose a New Hobby Re-becoming the Person He Loved Step 4 - Learn to Be Alone Finding Your Paris Moment Commit to Alone Time The 7 Things Never to Say to an Ex 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 13 14 16 17 19 19 19 21 21 24 25 26 27

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Do You REALLY Want Him? Step 5 - Go On Dates Forced Socialization Secretive and Mysterious to Drive Him Crazy Step 6 - Accept the First Contact The Contact Keep it Casual Show Him Youve Changed Starting from Scratch Conclusion

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How To Win Him Back - The 6 Step Formula to Get Your Ex Boyfriend or Husband Back
Breakups suck. They more than suck. They tear at you. They make you feel empty inside, as if nothing could ever again fill that void. I know what youre thinking right now. You want him back. You want him back so bad you can feel it in your blood, boiling eagerly. And it just makes it all that much worse. But, heres the thing about a breakup. As painful and debilitating as it might seem, what youre going through right now can be a very good thing. It can be a journey of discovery, one that leads you not only to a better sense of self, but to becoming an irresistible Goddess whose Ex cant help but come crawling back.

My Story
My name is Anna Wilson and Ive been where you are...more than once. I remember the crushing loneliness and the agonizing anxiety that he would find someone new and that I never would. I remember that feeling and I also remember discovering that deep down, underneath the self-loathing and anger, there was something else. A woman brimming with confidence. A woman who didnt NEED a man to define her. A woman who could have ANY man she wanted and that would live her life HAPPY no matter what he did or said. That woman got her Ex back and this book is about how she did it. Im going to show you how to determine if youre coveting him because of fear or love, how to tell what he wants, how to get to the root of a break up and understand exactly what happened and why it happened. More importantly, Im going to teach you how to quit cold turkey, leaving your needbased relationship in the dust while discovering the exciting, fun and happy woman thats right beneath the surface.

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You are going to make some incredibly constructive and life altering changes as you learn to be alone, discover your ultimate goal in life, the things you should never say to your ex, and how to start dating again, even if you know you want your ex back. There is no magic wand that will put everything back the way it was five years ago, but why would you want one? The way things were ended in a breakup. We can do better. And with the right mindset we will.

The Breakup of the Century


Im married today but dont think for a second that it was a fairy tale romance. My husband and I had as tumultuous a relationship as you can imagine. It started sweetly enough. Him standing there in a cheesy button down shirt asking to buy me a drink. But, after a few months, things started to turn sour. I LOVED this man, but for whatever reason, he was pulling away. First, it was the sorry, I forgot excuse, then I have plans and finally he didnt even bother. He just ended things. I was beside myself. I had never loved this strongly or felt this kind of need and it was devastating. I wallowed. I cried. I ate.... It was a long month, but then I came across some advice from a relationship genius who said what I had always been determined NOT to hear. Its not about him. The relationship. The loneliness. The FEAR that he would move on and I wouldnt. It was all a cover for something else, for my NEED to be in that relationship - to be defined by a man. What the hell was I doing? I was letting myself fall to pieces over one human being. A man who SAID he didnt want to be with me. I wanted him back more than you can ever imagine, but I decided then and there that pining and sending text messages and trying to run into him on the sly were the wrong tactic. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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I would step back, reset the game clock and try to do this right - by focusing on me. The rest is history. That was six years ago. Today were married and have a ridiculously happy relationship. Seriously, my friends roll their eyes even as they look on jealously. This IS a fairy tale and it all could have ended if I hadnt realized where I was going wrong.

Is He Worth It?
Sure, your immediate reaction is to do everything in your power to get him back. But is he really worth it? Thats the question no woman wants to ask herself. What if the answer is no? What if he really doesnt want to be with you? What if you were just afraid of being alone? A recent study by social psychologists at Harvard and Princeton Universities sought to discover what makes people shortsighted. They put groups of students in two groups - one with plenty of resources and one with limited resources. Each student was given a game to play like Angry Birds of Family Feud and those in the limited time group would quickly use up what few resources they had for the immediate gratification of gameplay instead of saving it for future rewards. The lesson of this study is that, when resources are scarce, we make decisions that forfeit the future. We cant imagine the future because we have no resources to create one, so we focus on the here and now. Youre doing the same thing with your heart - giving away the future to hold to what you have now, desperately afraid youll never be able to get it again. Value is often pegged to scarcity. If you have something, you could care less, but once its gone...you freak out doing whatever you can to get it back. Like those students without any time, you cling to the man you love because you dont think you can find another man, and are worried that he will move on soon. Im not saying to give up. If you love him and really, TRULY want him back, keep reading. Heck, even if youre unsure all of a sudden, KEEP READING. Everything in this book will work towards making you stronger and prepared to handle whatever a relationship can throw your way. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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But before we get to that point, you absolutely must know if what you THINK you want is really want you want. Is it NEED or DESIRE?

The 6 Step Formula


When I was lying on my couch, wondering if I would ever see him again, I started developing what eventually became my six step formula. A handful of observations and insights at first, I refined the plan - sharing it with friends and family over the course of years - into six simple steps that I have used and seen used to rekindle a dead or dying relationship, no matter how long it has been. If the spark still exists - if some part of him wants you and you KNOW you want him these steps can and often will work. But you need to take them seriously. Nothing here is optional. Some if it will be hard possibly painful. Some will seem impossible. Do it anyways, because if you dont - if you let yourself go to pieces, calling him twice a day, avoiding other men and lying on the couch with a bag of potato chips instead of getting out there, youre forfeiting the future - and what a wonderful future it might be.

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Step 1 - Quit Cold Turkey


You are addicted to your Ex. A 2010 study by Helen E. Fisher of Rutgers University found that, when someone described themselves as heartbroken, they reacted the same as those that recently broke a smoking or drug habit. When they saw pictures of their exes, these men and womens brains would light up in the reward centers, addiction cravings, feelings of attachment, and control of emotions. There is a very specific part of the brain called the ventral tegmental area - it lights up with activity when someone is motivated to perform a task and when they are subsequently awarded for completing. Its the carrot and the stick of the human brain and it goes haywire when someone is in love (and when they are heartbroken). Combine that with physical pain and distress centers and the exact same brain regions that light up when someone is SEVERELY addicted to cocaine or cigarettes, and you have a condition that makes it VERY hard to think rationally. So, the only way to make rational, smart decisions about your future is to get him out of your system. To do that, you need to quit cold turkey. If youve ever smoked or been addicted to anything else like coffee, sweets or potato chips, you know how hard it can be to just stop. Every part of your being screams to do the opposite - to jump off the wagon and get a fix. To call him and ask how hes doing or accidentally bump into him at his favorite coffee shop. If youve ever wondered WHY its so hard to ignore those cravings - why your love addiction is SO overpowering, youre not alone. Scientists have been studying how the mind processes those cravings for decades and only recently are they starting to understand what is happening. We know that addiction is physical, but not always 100%. A big part of the addiction cycle is simply habit. Your mind LOVES habits. They make actions simpler and ensure that you can do things faster - almost on autopilot.

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So it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to consciously overcome a habit. That is, of course, unless you know the shortcut.

How a Habit Works


This is from Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit. He gathered research on habits and how they affect the human mind (and our behavior) and offered some astounding conclusions and some really amazing tips for how to break and reprogram habits that are making life harder. Heres what I love about this. It works with everything. Unless you are quite literally hardwired to your addiction (which is actually quite rare), you can overcome it with some simple habit loop reprogramming. A habit is composed of three things: 1. Cue 2. Routine 3. Reward Basically, something will happen to cue the habit to start. Then youll go through your routine and receive the reward. In this case, our habit is love. Youre addicted to it - to the sense of belonging that it brings. To the fact that, when you are with him, you have a sense of purpose and identity. The cue is him. He triggers the whole thing. So whenever you think about him, see him or talk about him, the whole thing starts up. The routine is the NEED. The fear that hell never come back. The NEED to contact him. The NEED to not be alone. The NEED to look at pictures or stumble upon him in public. The reward used to be that feeling of togetherness. Now, its simple acknowledgement the fact that he knows you exist and MIGHT be interested in getting back together. We need to change ALL of this. When it comes to routines and habits, the easiest way to make a change is to swap out the routine and leave the cue and reward alone. In this case, that means getting rid of the need and replacing it with something else.

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Quitting Requires a New Routine


Its cliche, but the women who cut their hair, buy new clothes or go on a trip immediately after they break up with someone have it right. They know exactly what they are doing, even if its only on a subconscious level. They change the routine. They get away from the man that churns up all that stress. They get away from the routines that make it hard to think straight and scramble it all up. You need to do the same. A lot of this book will cover HOW to do that without making rash or irresponsible decisions. For now, I want you to know that it is immensely helpful. The goal is not to get over him, though you might find that is what happens. The real goal - the reason we get away from the idea of him, is that you need to focus on yourself. To have fun. To make constructive changes. To learn how to be alone. To ENJOY being alone and possibly even go on dates again. When you do these things, you create a new mindset and a new you that...guess what...he cant resist.

How to Quit Cold Turkey


After a breakup, you need to spend the next four weeks (possibly longer) consciously avoiding him as much as possible. I dont care if he said lets be friends or if you have plans together. Find an excuse to stay clear. Its not that spending time with an ex is inherently bad, but its nearly impossible to find yourself and get over that strong, almost overwhelming addiction to love if you see him all the time. You need the distance. That means: * No phone calls * No text messages * End the relationship on Facebook * Dont see him in public unless it really is an accident Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback Page 10

* Avoid his friends * No emails Its not easy. This is a man that you spent months, possibly years with. You are used to communicating with him and sharing your thoughts and desires with him. You want to be near him and to communicate with him. But if you do, youre giving into that addiction and everything else in this guide will be that much harder.

Accept the End


Heres another big one. When he says I want to break up you need to accept it. A study conducted by researchers at the University of Arizona is a perfect example of this. The study was designed to show how journaling and emotional expression can help in dealing with a breakup to varying degrees. Of course, thats not what happened. In fact, those who journaled and spent a lot of time thinking about the breakup and trying to justify it fared the worst in terms of recovery. The ones who fared best were the ones who simply went about their daily lives, processed the emotions naturally and moved on, accepting what happened. Its a pretty simple concept - when you focus on everything that lead to or resulted in a breakup, you dont allow yourself to accept what happened and you dwell on it. Its not avoidance - its life. You have to live it to process the experiences that made it most painful. How you respond to a painful experience will affect how you view the situation later. When you accept the breakup, you will ultimately accept the breakup, not just with words but with actions. At the same time, if you DONT accept the breakup, it will create tension that makes him uncomfortable and makes you appear needy. What do you think will go through his mind if, after he breaks up with you, your first response okay, I agree and hope we can be friends. Hell wonder whats up. It will linger and when you start to make major changes in your life, hes going to notice that much faster. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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The Attention Starved Relationship


One last note before the next step. A lot of what Im telling you refers to relationships in which you spend a lot of time together. However, there are some relationships that end because you spent not enough time together. In these relationships, the cold turkey method often is not as effective. It might be that spending more time together will actually revive your relationship faster than you realize. Attention starvation is a real thing and while it might seem like your relationship is ending for other reasons, the core of the problem is those long, lonely days you and your ex spend away from each other. However, before you start stalking your ex, back up and ask yourself if this is the case. I still recommend a four week embargo on communications, just to be sure.

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Step 2 - Have FUN!


What an insensitive jerk! Thats what youre thinking right now, isnt it? How can I sit here and tell you to go have fun when you JUST got out of a relationship? Easy, go have fun! One of the biggest mistakes I see when someone leaves a relationship is the nearly inescapable urge to mope about and drag their feet, avoiding other people, staying home on weekends and HOPING the phone rings (or worse, hoping he answers his). Beyond the very obvious reason that being happy is such a good healing tool, there is the value of fun. If you have fun, you will be a fun person and a fun person is irresistible to the people around her. Its psychological, physiological and yes, even a little bit of a mind game (hes going to die knowing youre out there having a blast). At the same time, a big part of the equation is simply learning how to have fun again, without him there to make it happen. All too often we become slaves to our relationships, defining ourselves in the we and forgetting what you actually enjoy doing. What hobbies and passions have you long avoided because you were in relationships with men who didnt share them with you? What have you always wanted to do? What did you force yourself to enjoy LESS just so you didnt feel like you were missing something? These are the things you must rediscover and, when you do, youre going to be blown away by what happens next.

Happiness and Cheerfulness are Irresistible


Imagine you walk into a party and see two couples - one on your right and one on your left. The couple on your right, Tom and Anna, are laughing and smiling, playfully batting each other on the shoulder and having an amazing time. It doesnt matter what theyre talking about - you can tell its enjoyable.

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Now, on the left are Zach and Erin and the situation is very different. Erin is visibly miserable, Zach looks frustrated and he periodically tries to cheer her up, telling little jokes and trying to get a smile. Its almost sad how ineffective his efforts are. But, when you stop and think about it - really think about it - which of those two women were you most like in your relationship? Were you always relaxed and happy, cheerful because you enjoyed life and were excited to see what today brought? Or were you frequently annoyed or bored or even miserable when out doing something new? Were you actively against trying new things and did you ignore your partners attempts to make things better? Lets ignore what exactly precipitated these situations. Sure, maybe Zach was being a jerk 10 minutes ago or was getting a little too friendly with another woman. Maybe Anna and Tom just met and are in that happy-go-lucky giggle phase. Thats not the point. The point is that, when you see either couple, you can immediately dissect and understand their relationships and their current moods. You wouldnt want to be caught within a 10 foot bubble of Zach and Erin right now, but youd gladly stumble into a conversation with Anna and Tom. The same is true of you. Whether talking to your ex over coffee or out with friends, the smile on your face becomes an irresistible magnet to everyone around you, ESPECIALLY men. They see it and immediately want to know you. Who is this happy, attractive, alluring woman and why am I not talking to her right now? When you frown a lot and are less than impressed with the world around you, things are different. Men avoid you (unless they go for that kind of thing) and your ex is continuously reminded of just how hard it was to have a conversation with you. I dont know your situation, but what I do know is that, whatever happens, whether he was a jerk or you simply werent amused by some of his hobbies, the mere act of FUN can have an immensely positive impact on his impression of you. But even more importantly, it will teach you how to enjoy life again and see the positive side of things.

The Negativity Trap

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Jonathan Haidt in The Happiness Hypothesis describes many factors that impact how happy you are. Among them is the idea of positive and negative thinking. In fact, most people see the world around them as inherently positive or inherently negative, and this is genetic. Some people simply have a harder time being positive in the face of adversity. Something happens and they see it as inherently bad. But its natural. The human mind is hardwired to focus on negativity not because our ancestors were brooding artists, but because it was a good survival technique. If you made a mistake while hunting your dinner, it could mean death for you and the people you are trying to feed. So you would dwell on that mistake...possibly for the rest of your life. In fact, recent studies have shown that, on average, the human mind will focus intensely on negative reactions and memories above and beyond the positive. It can take as many as 20 positive things to offset even one negative thing if youre not consciously focusing on them. The solution? To make a conscious decision to focus on the positive. There are three ways to do this: 1. Describe Life Affirmatively - Practice saying everything in the affirmative. Instead of I dont like orange juice say Can I have grapefruit juice instead. Dont focus on the negative reaction you have to OJ but to the positive reaction you have to grapefruit. You can even take this one step further and actively affirm things, reminding yourself every day how happy you are, how attractive you are, how excited you are to be alive. 2. Observe and Record What You Are Grateful For - Its easy to dwell on the bad things in life and run a movie through your mind of everything thats ever gone wrong, but what about the good? The never ending urge to move forward and get more out of life is built into us as human beings. Ask a room full of 100 people what they want in life and 99 of them will describe things they dont already have - money, cars, success. If you are lucky, one person will have the foresight to realize they already have what they want - health, family and friends. So, create a journal, jot down what you already have that you are grateful for and what positive things happen to you each day that you are happy about. 3. Seek Moments that Make You Happy - You know what makes you happy. You also know what you can bring into your life to make you MORE happy. So, make a list of those things and go after them! Go to movies with friends. Play a game you enjoy. Read trashy mystery novels. Buy a new jacket. Whatever you know will make you happy, go out of your way to engage in those actions.

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If you do these things, you will have more fun in life and it will have an immensely positive impact on how you see the things around you and, more importantly, how other people see you.

Be HAPPY for Him


Can you be happy for him? Can you honestly say to yourself right now that you are happy if he is happy and that you wont hold it against him if he never again wants to see you or he starts dating someone else? Not a lot of women can, but its an important part of the healing process and one of the most profoundly effective ways to find your own happiness. In the late 19th century a philosopher and psychologist names William James said If you want a quality, act as if you already have it. This came to be known as the As If Principle and has been studied at length by scientists throughout the last century. In his recent book The As If Principle: The Radically New Approach to Changing Your Life Richard Wiseman collects these studies and stories and shows how the body has an impeccable ability to preset your emotions. The idea is simple. If you act as if you feel a certain way, you will begin to feel that way. Its not a magic tonic and it wont immediately wash away the hurt of a broken heart, but it does have a profound effect if used in the right instances and, more importantly, if you apply the basic principles to other aspects of your life. One of the simplest exercises (and I guarantee this works) is to smile. The human mind is hardwired to respond to a smile. Its just that, 99% of the time, a smile is subconscious. You smile because something amuses or entertains you. But we can hack that system a bit and, by smiling, even when we dont feel happy, elicit a positive response from the mind. The next time you are feeling particularly blue, stand in front of a mirror and practice smiling for 5 minutes. Pull the muscles at the edges of your mouth up towards your ears slowly and hold it for 20 seconds then release. Do this 5-10 times until 5 minutes have passed. Now, how do you feel? Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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If you dont feel at least a little happier (heck, maybe even just from the goofiness of the exercise), I dont believe you ;) There are quite a few other ways you can use this principle in your life. Using your left hand instead of your right to eat can help you lose weight. Taking a bath can cleanse bad memories. Dressing as if you are successful can make you more successful. I strongly encourage you to pick up Wisemans book - its an eye opening read. But for now, I want you to focus on the idea of acting as if a thing is true. Now, Im not saying you should repress your emotions or ignore the fact that, just a few days ago, you broke up with someone you love. What I am saying is that, if you act AS IF you are happy for your Ex, you will become happy for them. You know this to be true because the inverse is true. If you sit there and brood about the whole thing, getting angry whenever you see him, cutting his head out of pictures, cursing anyone he dates and angrily eyeballing his friends (or yours if they still talk to him), it wont take long before that animosity makes it nearly impossible to be in the same room with a man. For many women, this it the only way to grieve a failed relationship. Im telling you right now that there is another way - a way that will generate happiness in you and create a stronger bond with your ex. One that will make it possible (or even likely) for you to get him back. Be happy for him - and if you cant, pretend you are and youll be surprised how quickly it becomes truth.

Overcoming the Argue-Reflex


I have one more quick tip before we move to the next step. This is a BIG one because it is one of those fundamental changes that can make you into a new person and overcome dozens of smaller problems in your relationship(s). Everyone does this so dont be embarrassed and certainly dont feel like youve done anything wrong. Again, remember to think positively. This is a POSITIVE change you can make right now that will have lasting repercussions. Stop arguing. The instant reflex of any woman (or man) in a relationship is to defend themselves Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback Page 17

against accusations, frustrations or pointed fingers. Its natural and in some cases necessary. You cant just roll over whenever someone tries to belittle you. But the defensive reflex of most people in relationships quickly turns into an instant reflex to argue over anything. When this happens, men become afraid to talk. They worry that, whatever they say, whether its constructive or inquisitive, it will be turned around on them in an argument, or worse, that youll hold on to it for weeks, months or years and turn it on them later. This cant change over night. If youve always been a strong arguer and defensive about your thoughts and beliefs, the men you know will expect it and avoid triggering that reflex whenever possible. But you can show them that youve changed by avoiding the urge to argue over small things. Dont argue over the breakup. Just accept it and wish him happiness. Dont argue over whose fault it is. Just find your own happiness and move on to try new things. Dont argue over who said what and when. Just accept that there is a new paradigm and you are eager to make it work. For now, you should be avoiding your ex, allowing the dust to settle and yourself to grow into an independent woman with her own desires and needs. But as you practice accepting the opinions of others, asking for honest feedback and trying NOT to argue constantly, youll feel yourself changing and trust me, he will notice.

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Step 3 - Make Some Constructive Changes


You are an amazing person. The problem is not that you are boring or that you are less interesting than anyone else. Its that youve spent too much of your life defining who you are by the actions of your partner. You are defined by what he thinks of you and thats not good. So we need to make some important yet constructive changes that will bring out the real you - the one he fell in love with and the one that can be happy on a daily basis.

Not All Changes Are Constructive


Big deal, youre saying. Every woman goes through changes after a breakup. This is true - the stereotype of drastic haircuts, world travel and rebound boyfriends isnt based on nothing. Women, like men, often have drastic emotional reactions to breakups and make a series of decisions simply for the sake of making decisions. This doesnt make those changes constructive though. Some might be but others are simply ways to change your routine and in turn your habits. They might help you get over a relationship but they wont help you learn from it and improve. At the same time, the goal is not to become a BETTER person, but to find the REAL person that he fell in love with all those years ago and that you know you can be. This is your chance to make time for YOU and to try the things that you know will make you feel good about yourself. Its a time for new experiences and new memories so you can forge stories that are your own, generate personal depth and improve your mental health. Thats what this time is about - its an opportunity that you need to grab and take advantage of because it doesnt come along very often. I want to help you do it.

Exercise and Take Care of Yourself


Remember the As If Principle. If you act as if the world has no meaning, youre going to fall into that pit of despair where meaning is nearly impossible to find.

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The simple act of taking care of your body is so profound that it can have an immensely positive impact on how you perceive yourself after a breakup. Plus, I guarantee hes going to notice. Sit down today and make a commitment to yourself. Take part of the time that you would have spent with him every day and spend it with yourself. Go to the gym. Go running. Get a bicycle and go for rides. Better yet do these things with your friends - create strong connections with the people you may not have seen much in recent years and use it to feel stronger about yourself. Exercise is a powerful restorative. It has an immediate positive impact on your mind and body and the resulting selfesteem boost it can give you is intense. Combine that with a few key changes to your lifestyle - removing junk food and alcohol for example - and you can quite literally transform your body in just a few short weeks. Heres a story I received from a reader just a few weeks ago: We broke up the last day of March. I remember because we were arguing over money again and he decided hed rather pay his own bills, so he ended things. I was pretty upset for a week or so but then a friend suggested I join her at the gym on the weekend. It was incredible. Ive always been in decent shape but not necessarily GOOD shape. So, I started going three times a week. I got so into it and the people I met there that I stopped obsessing over emails and calls and started focusing on myself. Within four weeks I had lost 8 pounds and was feeling amazing about myself. Better yet, he was starting to call me again. The addiction snapping nature of a breakup causes huge surges of cortisol, epinephrine and other hormones to course through your body. These can result in everything from an upset stomach to sore muscles and headaches. Exercise is the cure all for stress hormones, triggering all the good stuff to wash it away. The endorphins released by regular exercise will relax those muscles, ease your stomach and help you feel better and get over your anguish. At the same time, taking care of yourself tells your mind (and body) that you have value. The act of getting in the shower, fixing your hair, buying a new outfit for a night out with your friends, going to the gym and eating food that is GOOD for your body - these things have a positive impact on your mind as well as your body.

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You start to feel good about yourself because you are ensuring you feel physically good.

Choose a New Hobby


How you spend your time is a direct reflection of how you choose to feel and think about your life. Hobbies are a perfect example. Nine times out of ten, when two people enter a relationship, their hobbies fall by the wayside. Its not a bad thing, necessarily. Ideally you find new hobbies you can share with a man and others that you can enjoy on your own. You might keep one or two of your long time favorite activities, but not all of them - there just isnt time. Now that you have some time to yourself, rediscover those things that always made you happy when you were alone. The activities and hobbies that you gave up when you started dating or things that you never had an opportunity to try but that you want to try now. * Cycling * Running * Swimming * Board Gaming * Knitting * Traveling * Writing * Photography * Painting Remember, you have all this time now that can be spent on YOU, making you feel better about yourself and installing in your mind a sense of purpose that maybe you didnt feel before. When you make time for yourself, you create memories and personal connections that are not tied to him. And when you stop defining yourself by a man, you stop NEEDING that man. A healthy relationship does not revolve around need. You cannot need a man and have a healthy relationship with him. It needs to be grounded in desire and mutual trust and love. By empowering yourself to live a life independent of him and pick up new hobbies and generate new memories and experiences, thats exactly what you are doing. You are creating a person that does not NEED anyone.

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Re-becoming the Person He Loved


Have you ever wondered what men REALLY want out of a relationship? What he is secretly hoping youll do or say? Join the club. Every man is different so there are no universal secrets you can unlock when it comes to figuring out what he wants. What you CAN do is decide to rediscover the things that made him fall in love with in you in the first place. And for that we can turn to some of the most common answers men give when asked what do REALLY want from a woman: * Flirting - Men love playful banter and flirting. Its a big red sign that says I am interested in you and even when you have been in a relationship for months or years, he still likes to see that sign come out. Imagine what flares up in his head when he sees you do this with other men... * Respect - Men want to be respected. That shouldnt be read as stroke his ego or capitulate to his needs. Its more about listening to his opinions, avoiding arguments over trivial issues and supporting him whether you agree with what he has done or is thinking or not. * Inside Information - Men love to feel as if they are deeply connected with you. It may not seem that way when you try to have a deep conversation, but when the inkwell starts to run dry in a relationship and you talk less about what you are feeling and thinking, he has the same reaction as you would. Keep him involved and privy to your personal feelings and what youve been up to. * Laughter - Laughing at a mans jokes when they are not funny is a cliche but its effective. Men want to be funny. They want to feel funny. They want YOU to think they are funny. It, like anything else, can go to certain extremes, but it costs you nothing to laugh at a joke, even if its dry as dirt. * Femininity - Theres a line here. Men are attracted to femininity just like you are likely attracted to at least some degree of masculinity. It doesnt mean you need to wear a dress, put makeup on and giggle uncontrollably while you roll out pie crust. Femininity is not the same as 50s stereotypes of what a woman should be. Femininity is confidence in yourself, your appearance and the effect you have on men. It is sexiness, but your own brand of sexiness, not what Hollywood has told you that means. Men find a confident, self-assured woman not afraid to be herself with him or in public very sexy. * Languages of Love - It all comes back to the five languages of love, as described by Gary Chapman in his best-selling book. This guy has it right. Everyone thinks about and interacts with the feeling of love differently. Take the quiz on his website here: Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and learn what languages of love you speak and which your Ex speaks. Its different for every man but these are the ones that popped up most often and that really represent things that women tend to move away from the deeper they get into a relationship.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Step 4 - Learn to Be Alone


Your ability to have a strong relationship with a man depends on your ability not to NEED him but to WANT him. Thats it. Were I to boil this book down to one sentence it would be that. Too often we define ourselves by the relationships we are in and in many cases, get ANGRY at the men we are with because they dont do the same. But its backwards. A true relationship can only be strong and healthy when both partners have individual needs and desires. You cant spend every moment together and you cant expect your partner to be interested in everything you are or vice versa. You are two people with unique interests and needs and when you come together you create a powerful new entity, but that new entity is not finite. You cannot define both of you by what you do together. So, in step four you need to relearn how to be alone. This means you need to commit to being alone and accept that this may be the new way of your life. Its not easy. As we discussed earlier in the book, you are addicted to him. To the love you feel for him. And dont think that love isnt real. You love him, probably more than anyone youve ever loved before. The love is not the problem. Its the sacrifice youve made of every component of your mind and body to him as part of that love. Youve decided that because you love him, every part of you needs to be his. There is only love and this isnt healthy. A healthy relationship consists of more than just love. It consists of laughter, sadness, time apart and time together. For years I would tell this to the women who came to me for advice, but it really hit home when I met Liz, a 37 year old woman whose husband had just left her. When we met, Liz wanted nothing more than to get him back. She was lost and alone and miserable because of it. This woman defined her life by what she did for and with her husband and it was tearing her apart inside. We started with the same advice Im giving you now. I told her to cut herself off from her husband. Not to call him, email him or accidentally run into him on the street. It didnt work. She got even more depressed as the withdrawal set in. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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She started spending countless hours with friends and family instead, quite literally unable to be alone. She couldnt have fun because she couldnt begin to imagine herself capable of it. So, we skipped straight to step four and to forced alone time. I asked her this question: Close your eyes and imagine you can be ANYWHERE in the world. Where would it be? She knew the answer shouldnt be with her husband so she told me in Paris. Liz had never been to Paris. Im not even sure she really wanted to go to Paris, but when she said it, a lightbulb sparked in her head. She was going to Paris. She left a week later and spent two weeks in the City of Lights, cut off from everyone she knew. She was truly alone for the first time in years and when she returned, I almost didnt recognize her. The woman who stepped out of that airport terminal was glowing with energy, vibrant in every sense of the word. Hair done, new clothes, standing straight and a giant grin on her face, she practically tackled me to the ground with a hug. Shed found herself in Paris and learned again how to be alone.

Finding Your Paris Moment


Not everyone will need to fly across the globe to find inner peace and solitude. Some will find it at home with a book. Others in a yoga studio. Others still on a bicycle on a mountain path. But today you need to find your Paris moment. What one thing would allow you to escape the agony of your breakup right now? Today? Five minutes ago? What one action would allow you to instantly feel happier, even while being 100% alone. Now do it. This is nearly the hardest part of recovery from a breakup, especially if you are intent on getting him back. To some it feels like abandonment - like giving up on him completely. But its the opposite. No man wants to be left behind. The mere act of APPEARING to have moved on will stir something deep in him. He may not even realize it yet but its there and hes going to act soon. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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While he makes up his mind, you need to take action to restore your life to what it was.

Commit to Alone Time


Right here, right now, make a commitment to spend a certain amount of time alone every single day. This is not temporary. Even if your ex comes crawling back tomorrow, I want you to make this a permanent part of your life. Alone time is so important - such an integral part of defining who you are and who you want to be as a person - that every woman reading this should make it a part of their lifestyle. The single most common question I get is What if I dont want to spend time alone? To which I answer, do it anyways. It might take time, but you will find that time to be an integral part of your day. The chance to unwind and examine thoughts and emotions from the day, week or month and determine how you will respond to them moving forward - it is a priceless opportunity and one that too few people take advantage of. There is no one way to spend time alone. It can be any of the following: * In the Bath * At a Movie * In a Park * Visit a Museum * Write Something * Ride a Bicycle * Walk a Dog * Go on a Trip * Arts and Crafts * Read a Book * Meditation Ideally, at least part of your alone time will be spent thinking quietly, contemplating the day and anything that might have happened during that day. This alone is not easy. Especially in a day and age when unplugging is nearly impossible, finding a few moments every day to just sit and think is quite hard, but if you do it, youll find yourself opening up to new ways and styles of thinking you never knew were there before. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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The 7 Things Never to Say to an Ex


You and your ex are in a special place right now. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your breakup, neither of you has likely moved on yet. The pain of a fresh breakup is starting to fade after a month of getting out and having fun, trying new things and spending time alone, but you still want him back and if you are in contact at all, he likely wants you back. The problem is not chasing him down but giving him time and empowering yourself to be a new, desirable person. In the mean time, dont make any mistakes and say one of these things that will put it all back to square one: 1. Begging - Dont beg, plead or gravel for his attention. It shows weakness and neediness that ANYONE finds unattractive, man, ex or otherwise. 2. Arguing - Defensiveness and arguing will turn him off faster than a cold shower. Dont get up in arms when its not necessary. 3. Calling Them - Dont call. Just dont do it. If he calls you, great, but you need to keep your finger off the phone. If you have to, delete his number. 4. Making Excuses - Dont make excuses, try to explain away your previous decisions or try to get him to excuse anything you did in the past. 5. Apologizing - Apologizing is fine in small doses. If you did or said something specific that hurt him, apologize for it. Dont apologize for EVERYTHING or blanket your conversations with regret. 6. Professions of Love - You might love him and he might love you, but repeating it comes off as needy and can derail even a very good conversation. 7. Promising Change - Dont promise to change, just do it. Take action and show him the new you. Its a simple list but worth emphasizing because any one of these acts can put him on alert that things havent changed nearly as much as you and he thought they did.

Do You REALLY Want Him?


For most of this book, weve focused on ways to douse the need that burns in your heart to have him in your life. That raw, unbridled passion and NEED for him - the addiction to love you felt that made it nearly impossible to even see past a life without him - those are hopefully starting to fade. If not, it may be that you need more time to reflect and contemplate what a life alone truly means. But for those that are starting to feel the changes we have been building towards, its time to ask a hard question. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback Page 27

Do you really want him? This man that you have long told yourself you loved more than anything in the world do you still love him? Did you ever truly love him? I dont ask this to be cruel. I do it because many times, whether they realize it or not, women cling to their relationships just to be in a relationship. They may not desire the man or the love they have long held so dear nearly as much as they thought they did. Maybe you jumped straight into a relationship after another one ended. Maybe you tried exceptionally hard to get together with him in the first place and cant admit to yourself that it was a mistake. Maybe you are just addicted to being with someone. You feel the need to be in a relationship - to be defined by that time with a man. Its all very normal and yet, its exceptionally hard to admit when youve been doing it. Whether because you are afraid to admit that you never really loved him, embarrassed by what it means for you as a person, or maybe you still cannot imagine a life outside of a relationship - this moment is as tough as any moment you will ever face. I cant give you an exercise or question that will make this an easy one to answer. If you know you love him, truly and honestly love him, and have no doubts, keep reading because this doesnt apply to you. If, after a few weeks apart you find yourself questioning what you really want, now is the time to really ask yourself what you want to do next. Will you accept his call if he calls you or is it time to truly move on? This all ties together with the ultimate goals in your life. Too few women I find ask themselves what they really want. There are assumptions. This is what Im SUPPOSED to want. There are expectations. Ive always worked towards this. There are pressures. My mother keeps asking about grandkids... But, when you ask yourself what you want out of your life, what do you see? Do you want to spend your adult life in a relationship or are you eager for something more? Are you addicted to the time spent alone now?

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Do you enjoy your new life but want to share it with him? Ask these questions because in very short order youll be faced with a decision and they will all be part of it.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Step 5 - Go On Dates
Wait just one second! youre saying...I thought I was getting my EX back, not finding another guy. For some of you (a lot I imagine) this is going to be the single hardest step you take. Its all fine and good to sit there and talk about how important it is to get out of the house and meet new people and try new things and open yourself up for new experiences, but actually going on dates? Thats an entirely different level, but its also a very important one. Listen, no one is telling you to abandon your ex forever or to go sleep with a bunch of new guys. Its a lot simpler than that and it can have a very positive, very profound impact on YOU as a person, and it often has the added effect of making him immensely jealous. Going on dates can actually help you get your ex back, because it ensures that if he does come back, your will is stronger and you understand your worth outside of that relationship. Heres what I mean.

Forced Socialization
Up to this point, even if youve been out having fun, trying new things, finding new hobbies and experiencing life in ways you havent for many years, the odds are that youve been doing it within a certain comfort zone. You spend time with friends, in places you know and in situations you feel you can control. Youre still a little raw and, understandably, you want to protect yourself against what could easily become a hurtful experience. Even just meeting a new person can be immensely stressful - why submit yourself to that? There are a few reasons. First, forced socialization is a GOOD way to learn new things about yourself. Think back to your first dates way back in high school and college. How intense were those nights? You were probably thinking a million miles a minute and collapsed into a chair when it was over, either out of exhaustion or embarrassment.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Dating has that effect on us and its a good thing. It forces you to think about what YOU want out of a man and what you can bring to that relationship. More importantly, it separates you from the idea that you NEED any one man. There are some really great men out there, all of whom would die to be with you. Dont believe me? Go on a couple of dates, be your relaxed, engaging self and just try to tell them no when they want a second date... Its not easy. By going on dates, even when you are still in love with your Ex, you teach your mind to think of a relationship as a symbiotic thing. Heres a story Ive been sharing for YEARS about a woman I knew in college. Its one of those stories that jumps out at you, not because its amazing, but because its so representative of what EVERY woman goes through during a breakup. My friends name is Eva and she had been dating the same guy for eight years...in college. Meaning they had been together since freshman year of high school. We tend to romanticize these kinds of relationships - talk about them like they are meant to be and while sometimes that is true, its rarely that simple. Imagine the raw emotion you felt when you were 14 years old. How much you thought you loved that boy. How much you felt like your life was over when you broke up. How much it all hurt, even when you had NO IDEA what was going on. Now, take that raw emotion and amplify it over eight years through three phases of development and you had Eva the night she burst into my dorm room bawling because her boyfriend, Steve, had just broken up with her. The two had gone to the same college together and were only a few months from graduation, so it was a shock. It wasnt a typical college growth breakup. Hed simply started to change as a person and told her he thought their relationship hadnt changed with him. I could go on at length about the deep revelations of a 22 year old man who has changed, but the truth was that he didnt feel raw emotion the same way Eva did and it broke her heart. We gave her all the normal post-breakup advice. Get out, have fun with your friends, stop looking at those old photos. She was calling him obsessively too and while he had asked to remain friends, it became clear soon enough that he preferred to move on. He stopped returning her calls and it just got worse. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Then something happened that changed both of their lives forever - a kind of happy accident really. One of our friends, Jessica, broke up with her boyfriend and decided that the best way to move on was to get back on the saddle, so to speak, and go on a couple of dates. Somehow she managed to cajole Eva into going on a blind double date with her, which to be honest was good for all of us. Another night watching A League of their Own and eating Reeses cups would have put me over the edge. The amazing thing is that Eva was changed after that one night. Whether it was the call she received the next day (and the day after) from the guy she went on that date with or because shed actually allowed herself to have fun, she transformed overnight. She was happier, more vibrant, willing to try new things. She was still sad and she still missed Steve - more than I had ever missed anyone in my life to that point - but something inside clicked. I can love a man without giving myself to him to the point that Im miserable without him. I dont NEED him to be happy. It was a turning point for Eva in that breakup. She stopped calling Steve. She stopped running into him in the Quad. She stopped moping at home and went on more dates. Long story short, it took Steve all of two weeks to come to his senses and get back together with Eva after that blind date. The two are married today and have three beautiful (and rambunctious) kids in New England. This is the secret sauce - the magic bullet that will hit the reset switch on the emotional hostage situation this breakup has created. You dont NEED them to be happy. Heck, you dont need any one person to be happy. A healthy relationship is a symbiotic relationship in which you grow together, sharing experiences and generating a new, unexplored dominion - something neither of you has ever experienced before. If he can have that kind of effect on you when he walks away, you need to ask yourself...why? Why are you so dependent on this ONE person to be happy in life. What about your family? Your friends? Your career? Your pets? Yourself? Discover the answer to that question and you will join the ranks of self-confident women whose boyfriends and husbands would never DREAM of walking away.

Secretive and Mysterious to Drive Him Crazy


Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Now for the fun part - the mini day dream youve been having since you started reading this section. What goes on in HIS mind when he sees you with another man? Jealousy, my friend, is a POWERFUL tool and while the last thing you want is for a man to want you only because he thinks he cant have you, dating other men can be the trigger that sets off all the other stuff youve been developing. Theres a reason why dating other men is Step 5 and not Step 1 or 2. You need time. You need time for yourself - to get away from your ex, spend time alone, rediscover new hobbies and generate a sense of self that doesnt rely on him to make you whole. You need to make some small corrections, put on your sexy smile and wow the world with what an amazing catch you can be. When you do all of this, going on a date or two with a guy you met online or a friend of a friend will not only seal the deal for you, but for your Ex. If your Ex really wants you back - if there is a real chance that he will be at all interested in returning and rekindling what you had before, it will happen now. Its been 4-6 weeks. Hes seen or heard about you having fun, laughing and looking mighty hot. And now theres another guy in the picture? Activate male protection reflexes! Heres whats happening in his mind right now. He sees you out there having fun and looking good, clearly happy for him and happy for yourself. He sees the woman he originally fell in love with and wants her back. But there are two things holding him back from acting. First is pride. No man wants to admit he was wrong. In his mind, a phone call or email is the same as crawling back to you and he doesnt want to do that, both because he is embarrassed and because it makes him look weak. Second is time.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Youre still single, hes still single. He can always wait and maybe youll do the crawling back. And the truth is that, at this point, you probably could. You could probably give him a call and ask to meet up for coffee and he would be all for it. But my hope (and the likely reality) is that you dont want to. That urgent NEED to be with him is gone. You love this man and you hope he loves you too, but you cant chase him for the rest of your life to validate your self-worth. You need to know that he feels the same about you and values your presence in his life. Trigger the jealousy reflex. When he sees you with another man, whether on a single date or over the course of multiple dates, his mind is going to flip out. When he sees a woman he loves, that he is immensely attracted to and that he already HAD not more than a month ago in the company of another man, pride goes out the window. Some men will slink away at this point, frustrated that they missed their opportunity. But, if youre truly in love with him still, this wont be an issue because its very unlikely that youll start dating another man on a recurring basis. You want to grow as a woman and make your ex jealous - not create another needbased love trap. So, when youre single (and make sure you stay visibly single), he will come calling. It will be casual, it will be nonchalant and noncommittal, but trust me - its coming.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Step 6 - Accept the First Contact


The last few weeks have been a time of great change. You went into that cocoon and came out a butterfly who knows her place in this world better than any man can tell her, define her or hold her to. You are an independent woman whose self-worth outweighs her need for a man. Its time to show him that this is the case. More than once Ive seen it all fall apart at this stage. The second an Ex calls, the woman falls apart, reverting back to the needy love addict who drove them apart in the first place. This happens when you dont follow through on your changes and when you allow yourself to feel that need. Dont let it get to you. This is a time of transition and starting fresh. So, it needs to be handled carefully.

The Contact
When he calls or emails, dont rush to answer. Keep your schedule full and make him work for time with you. Imagine if a random guy asked you out and you were willing to do it but had a full schedule. Would you move everything around to see him tomorrow? Or would you make him wait until next Friday when you have time? Make the same decisions for your Ex. Playing just a little bit hard to get is a great way to stoke the fire of his desire, but its also a GREAT way to remind yourself that you have control in this relationship. You can decide when you will see this man and what role he will play in your life. You dont NEED him tomorrow - you can wait a week.

Keep it Casual
Same idea. If you went on a first date with Jimmy from the health club, would you take him to your place, make a romantic dinner and sleep with him on day one? Probably not. Youd go to a public place like a coffee shop, probably during the day and get to know each other.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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The first contact with an Ex should be a rebirth of your relationship - and a true rebirth starts from the beginning. When you accept that first contact, do it but dont capitulate to his urges. Make him earn it. Put him through the first date treatment. Get to know him again for the first time and, more importantly, help him get to know you.

Show Him Youve Changed


This is a big one. Im sure you have daydreams of sitting down with a cup of coffee and listing off EVERYTHING youve been doing since you saw him last. The hobbies youve picked up. The shows youve attended. The men youve been on dates with. Its not necessary. Men dont see the world the same as you and I, but they are VERY perceptive when they focus their attention on one thing. When a man looks at you...really looks at you...and sees the changes youve made, you are going to leave an impression. He is going to see that you are more confident, that you dont crave his approval for every word out of your mouth, that you dont apologize constantly, even when the reason for it is not immediately clear. Hes going to see that you ARE different and that is enough. Listing all the changes youve made screams need for validation. Hey love, look at all these things I did...what do you think? Hes not going to see the changes. Hes going to see a woman just as desperate as ever for his approval and it will put him on edge. This is hard. Not needing a mans approval - or anyones approval for that matter - is not natural. Human beings crave validation and approval of their actions in one form or another. True confidence, however, is when you KNOW youve made the right decision and dont need that validation. It also happens to be one of the sexiest things in the world to a man. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback Page 36

Starting from Scratch


Today is the first day of a NEW relationship. The old one ended. Remember? You and him broke up and went your separate ways. Youve both come back now, different people and ready to try again. You cant pretend those first few months or years didnt happen. You know more about each other than any two people on a first date are likely to know. But at the same time, imagine how much has changed about you, how many things even YOU didnt realize. Now, would you want him making assumptions and having certain expectations when so many things have changed? Of course not. Dont do the same thing to him. Dont assume that this is the exact same man you broke up with a few weeks ago. Give him room to show how he might have changed and to create a new, stronger bond with you. A big mistake I see a lot in this situation is the subtle understanding. This isnt a movie. You and him cannot communicate telepathically or through a glance. Its not romantic - its avoidance and it sets the stage for problems in your new relationship that will mirror the ones from your old relationship. So, one of the first things you need to do is address the elephant in the room. Recognize that there was something there, it ended and you want to start anew. Here are a few rules to make this transition a little easier: * Dont Argue - Stop arguing and ditch the defensiveness. He will react strongly to either and it wont help you get things back on track. * Recognize the Past But Dont Pass Judgment - You cant ignore what happened before, but dont hold it against him, bring up past problems or focus on what happened then instead of what happens next. * Time Apart Isnt Subject to Critique - If you dated men while you were broken up, he too might have dated other women. You wouldnt hold previous relationships against someone you just met so dont do it to your ex. * Tell Him Your Goals...But Not Too Soon - Share your goals in life, in love and in this relationship, but dont do it in those first few dates. Wait a couple weeks and let it come up naturally. Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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* Show Him Your New Dedication to Self - Dont just think youll spend more time alone, actually do it. Dont drop everything for him and ditch your friends. Maintain your new hobbies. Go out alone and maintain a life that doesnt revolve around him. Hell see it and likely respect it. Dont pick up where you left off. If you were living together when you broke up and having sex six nights a week, jumping right back into your old routine can not only short circuit a lot of the work youve done but make him think that the old you is the new you. Take it slow, at least for a little bit, and make sure he understands that you want it this way. Men are not the sex-crazed beasts we take them to be. He will understand, especially if he truly loves you. His ultimate goal right now is for you to be happy and for this relationship to work. It will feel odd at first, but as you relearn how to date each other and be in a relationship, I guarantee youll discover things you never before knew about one another.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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Conclusion
The feeling of loss when a relationship falls apart cannot be explained. Its such a raw, painful experience that its hard to imagine a time when youll be the confident, commanding woman Ive just described. Thats why it takes time. You cant fix things overnight. He doesnt want it and if you really examine your heart and soul, youll realize that you dont want it either. So you need time to separate yourself from the tangle of your old relationship, recognize what you really want and NEED in life and build a persona that doesnt depend on a man...any man. The result of this work is often very positive. I wont lie to you. Not everyone reading this will get back together with their Ex. But thats not always a bad thing. As often as I see couples reunited I see women realizing that they dont necessarily want to be with their Ex anymore - that they are ready to move and start a NEW life that doesnt revolve around a love addiction. Its a painful awakening but a necessary one and the next time those women enter relationships they have the expectations needed to thrive. At some point during the steps listed above, your Ex will contact you. He might want to talk. He might just want sex. He might want to be friends and not pursue a romantic relationship at all. Its up to you to decide how you will respond to that moment. My hope is that youll have spent enough time with yourself, experiencing life, detaching yourself from that need-based lifestyle and building relationships with new people that you are ready to make that decision. Even if you have not, dont let his approaches change your plans. Treat it as a friend asking you out for coffee and if youre truly not ready for that moment, tell him. Men understand emotions as well as any of your friends. The difference is in how they describe and perceive them. If you are honest and upfront with him, he will respond in turn.

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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In the course of a few weeks, youll know for sure the course of your relationship. From the deepest of my heart, I hope that means love forever after. God bless and remember, enjoy your life, no matter what happens! Recommended Videos To Watch Firstly, I highly recommend that you go ahead and watch this video here, by my colleague and inspirational relationships book author, Mirabelle Summers. Youll discover 3 ways to tell if he secretly wants you back http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback Make sure you watch every bit of the above video.

Also, if you get time, check out this video too (also by Mirabelle Summers), where youll discover how to make him REGRET ever leaving you, and why sometimes relationships are better second time around than if it was never broken in the first place: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/himregret

Kind regards, Anna Wilson Author MeetYourSweet.com

Watch this video 3 Ways to Tell if He Secretly Wants you Back: http://www.meetyoursweet.com/go/secretback

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