The Family Stone

Attorney's at Law?

Episode #2001 "Pilot" By Leo J Lawrence

February 10, 2014

Contacts:
Agent: Theo Caesar

90210 Talent

818.738.3663

ii.

Manager: Worthy Patterson

Evolution Entertainment

323.850.3232

Copyright 2013 Jason3Media Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED NO portion of this script may be performed, published, sold or distributed by any means, or quoted or published in any medium, including any website, without prior written consent. Disposal of this script does not alter any of the restrictions set forth above.

THE FAMILY STONE

PILOT COLD OPEN FADE IN: INT. CIGAR SHOP - DAY (1) Upscale shop. MAXIMILIAN STONE 50, is an affluent African American trial attorney with an aggressive, unconventional, yet highly effective style. Holds all the accolades and degree one can garner as a top litigator, yet possesses the acumen of a street hustler. Max is the man. And he knows it. Right now, hes somewhat perturbed as he speaks to MARVIN COHEN, the cigar shop owner. MAX What do you mean youre out? Out as in, sorry Max, but your past loyalty as a customer means absolutely nothing to me so I neglected to order your favorite cigars this month? Is that the out youre referring to? Marvin leans in, lowering his voice. MARVIN What can I say, Max? Cuban sticks have been hard to come by lately. Its not like I can just order them from my distributors you know. Them being illegal and all. MAX Illegal? Cocaine permeates our borders faster than gold-digging hood rats through the turnstile at the NBA All Star Game and youre worried about a few Cuban cigars? Let me tell you something, Marvin. Its not illegal til Ive defended it in court and lost. Marvin reaches under the counter, slowly pulls out a box of cigars and places them in front of Max with particular care.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 2

MARVIN I was saving these for myself but I guess under the circumstances I could let these go. WE HEAR AN ANGELIC CHORUS as he slow and deliberately opens the lid and takes one out. Maxs eyes widen. MAX (Re: Angelic chorus) Did you hear that? MARVIN What? MAX (letting it go) Nothing. MARVIN H. Upmann Corona Royal. I got 2 boxes left. Max promptly relieves Marvin of the cigar, closes his eyes and passes it under his flared nostrils; inhaling the scent like the cigar aficionado that he thinks he is. MAX Magnificent. Marvin gingerly plucks the cigar from Maxs fingers and returns it to the safety of the box. MARVIN These were hand made especially for Fidel Castro. MAX (intrigued) No... MARVIN Yes. MAX Tell me more. MARVIN Thirteen hundred for the box.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 3

Maxs face distorts with reality. MAX What?? I find it hard to believe Fidel pays a dime for anything produced in that God forsaken country of his, let alone thirteen hundred dollars a box. MARVIN Okay. Like I said, I was keeping them for myself anyway. Marvin starts to replace the box. Not so fast. Max grabs his hand. MAX Yet one has to wonder why Fidel never got around to smoking these? Hmm.. (a BEAT, then) They were undoubtedly misappropriated from his compound by Che Guevara amidst a coup. The lore associated with them alone is worth the immoderate price. Ill take them. MARVIN Great. Ill charge them to your account. Marvin slides the rare cigars across the counter top to Max. MARVIN (CONT'D) Put them in your briefcase. I don't need any trouble with the ATF. MAX places the coveted box in his leather satchel. MAX Relax, Marvin. The ATF is preoccupied with much bigger fish than mom and pop retailers selling a few Cuban cigars. Suddenly, a group of men wearing blue ATF windbreakers rush into the shop. They spread out and start searching the premises. AGENT SMITH converges on the counter. He flashes a badge and a piece of paper. AGENT SMITH ATF. We have a warrant.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 4

Max and Marvin share a look of disbelief, then a composed grin stretches across Maxs face. He looks to Marvin. MAX Get the fuh -You know the rest. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES ACT I FADE IN: INT. STONE, STONE & STONE - DAY (1) Upscale law office. The elevator doors open and JEWEL STONE, WHITE, mid to late 40s, enters the office suite. Jewel is a stunning woman; a brilliant litigator that seldom loses a case, especially her divorce where she managed to get control of the law firm she started with her now ex-husband Max. Disheveled, wearing sun glasses and still in her clothes from the night before, she makes her way down the hall, bare foot with her high heels in hand swinging from the straps. Before she can make it to the sanctum of her office, TAYLOR, her assistant cuts her off. TAYLOR Jewel, not calling makes it extremely hard to be convincing when Im covering for you. Something I seem to be doing a lot more of lately. JEWEL Thought you were good at it. Thats why I hired you. TAYLOR Im not complaining. Its just that when Mr. Stone asks where you are -JEWEL Tell him its none of his business.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 5

TAYLOR Tell Max Stone its none of his business? Youre kidding, right? JEWEL Again, Im the one who hired you. INT. JEWELS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS She enters her office, closes the door behind her, tosses her briefcase on the couch and heads for her desk. The high back leather chair swings around to reveal her son, ANDREW STONE, 27, staring at her with a look of disbelief. Andrew is the oldest child of Max and Jewel. Knows the law backwards and forwards, and pays attention to detail; especially when it comes to his wardrobe. Always suited up in Armani or whatever GQ says is hot. ANDREW Really?? A prospective client has been waiting for us in the conference room for the last 30 minutes. JEWEL Then why are you in here? Hes your perspective client, Andrew, not mine. You dont need me. ANDREW Its a product liability issue and I trust your instincts. JEWEL Start trusting your own instincts. Your father and I made you a partner for a reason. Did we make the right decision? ANDREW (belligerently) I just need your input, mom. Is that too much to ask?? JEWEL Okay! Just give me a minute! Her head is pounding. She scours her desk for the bottle of aspirin that Andrew instinctively tosses to her. She pops a couple in her mouth and washes it down with a half empty can of Diet Pepsi.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 6

ANDREW Where were you last night? JEWEL Dont question me, Andrew. ANDREW Whatd you do, sleep in the backseat after you kicked your date out of the car? JEWEL Watch it... Andrew stands and heads for the door. ANDREW This sowing your wild oats or whatever it is youre doing is getting old. You and dad have been divorced for 2 years. Get over it. Its embarrassing. JEWEL OUT!! Andrew opens the door and exits. Max walks past the doorway with CAMERON STONE, Maxs younger brother. 40s. Hes a client. Sort of. Okay, hes a criminal. And the last person Jewel needs, or wants to see this morning. She storms barefoot into the -HALLWAY JEWEL (CONTD) What is he doing here? MAX (getting a good look at her) What the hell happened to you? CAMERON Jules! Its great to see you! JEWEL Max -* *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 7

CAMERON Did you misplace your shoes or is this some new Zen relaxation technique for the workplace? I would participate but my hundred dollar socks arent made for these five dollar floors. JEWEL I want him out of here. MAX I cant have a friendly visit with my brother? JEWEL Most people wouldnt consider visits from your brother friendly. CAMERON They do if they cooperate. JEWEL (to Max) Why is he here? You told him to come here, didnt you? CAMERON For business I hope. JEWEL Not with this firm. CAMERON Listen, Jules. Just because things didnt work out between you and Max doesnt mean you have to treat me like a leper. I still consider you family. JEWEL I want him out of here, Max. She walks away towards her office. Taylor intercepts her. TAYLOR Conference room? She starts towards the conference room.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 8

TAYLOR (CONTD) Shoes? She heads back towards her office. MAX She hates when you call her Jules. Why do you insist on doing it? CAMERON Cause she hates it. Damn, I remember when you ran things around here. You need to handle your woman, man. MAX And shes not my woman anymore. CAMERON Sure shes not. Max follows Jewel into -INT. JEWELS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Jewel slips on her Jimmy Choos and straightens up a bit. JEWEL What are you thinking? You almost lost everything because of him. MAX But I didnt because I had brilliant legal council. JEWEL Dont patronize me, Max. Im not stupid. I know you. Youre up to something. MAX Youre being paranoid. JEWEL Promise me youre not planning to get mixed up with that gangster again. You have a wife and a family that love you. Max grins.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 9

JEWEL (CONTD) What I meant was youre not the only one around here your decisions impact. MAX But thats not what you said. JEWEL But thats what I meant. Give me a break, Max. We were married 25 years. Just promise me youre not getting involved with Cameron. MAX Im not going to promise you anything. I dont have to answer to you anymore, Jewel. JEWEL Fine. She fetches a legal pad from her desk, brushing past Max in a huff. MAX But, just to keep the peace and maintain a healthy working relationship... I promise. JEWEL Thank you. MAX See, this is exactly why our marriage was a catastrophic nightmare. Lack of trust. JEWEL No, what was catastrophic was your ability to be trusted. MAX Me?? Do you really want to go there, Jewel? Cause I can. JEWEL Hey, Ive got nothing to hide.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 10

MAX Is that a fact? Well, Jeff Cain told me you went behind my back and asked him to drop the case Trilogy has against your lover. JEWEL My lover? I went out with Wilson Foxx once or twice 2 years ago and believe me, love had nothing to do with it. Why do you even care who I date? MAX Believe me. I dont. JEWEL Good. MAX Except when its Wilson Foxx. Hes a crook you know it. JEWEL He said he didnt do it. And I believe him. MAX No you dont. Youre too smart to believe anything that moron says. JEWEL And you wonder why I didnt mention to you that I spoke with Jeff. Your judgement is predisposed when it comes to Wilson. MAX You slept with that idiot! What do you expect? JEWEL We were divorced. Whats your point? MAX The point is you know Wilson Foxx embezzled two mil from our client. You also know the DA wont drop the case, and that Ill decimate him in the civil suit. And Im pretty sure you know seeing him is a conflict of interest.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 11

JEWEL Who said Ive seen him? MAX (not convinced) Okay, when was the last time you saw him? JEWEL The last time? SMASH CUT TO: FLASHBACK - 8 hours ago INT. WILSONS CONDO - NIGHT *

Party. Music blaring. Jewel is BLINDFOLDED, laying back on the couch being straddled by WILSON FOXX, white 40s, who is pouring Tequila straight from the bottle into her mouth. He chases it with a wild passionate kiss. END FLASHBACK JEWEL To be honest, I cant remember the last time I actually saw him. MAX But youve been in contact with him. JEWEL Contact how? MAX Dont play with me Jewel. You said he told you he didnt steal the money. So you had to have heard from him recently. SMASH CUT TO: INT. WILSONS BEDROOM - 6 HOURS AGO Wilson lies in the bed handcuffed to the bedposts with a BALL GAG in his mouth. Jewel kisses his chest, then her head MOVES DOWN OUT OF FRAME. Wilsons eyes widen. END FLASHBACK

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 12

JEWEL (shaking her and head) Nope.. Not a peep. MAX Thats too bad. Because if you could convince him to give the money back, we could collect a finders fee and forego the legal proceedings all together. JEWEL (Shrugs her shoulders) Cant help you. Jewel grabs a legal pad and heads out into the -HALLWAY Max is on her tail. MAX Youre lying. JEWEL Im late. MAX Promise me you wont see Wilson Foxx anymore. JEWEL You cant tell me who I can see. MAX Fine. Max stops at his office door. Cameron is sitting inside. MAX (CONTD) Cameron, lets talk. Jewel stops in her tracks. JEWEL Okay, I promise. Now get him out of here! Cameron sticks his head out into the hallway. * * *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 13

CAMERON Love you too! Jewel continues into INT. STONE, STONE & STONE: CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS Andrew sits at a conference table across from a handsome blond haired, blue-eyed, 20 something prospective client named MYRON COLE. JEWEL Please forgive me for being late, Mr. Cole, its been a very hectic morning. ANDREW Ill say. Jewel cuts her eyes at her son. MYRON Not a problem. Andrew slides a bottle of pills over to Jewel. She examines the MaxiLong male enhancement supplements and shares a look of skepticism with her son. ANDREW Weve considered your complaint against Maxilong and we have yet to determine if you have a valid claim against them. MYRON Well, I used that stuff exactly like it says on the side of the bottle and it didnt work like they promised. It ruined my life. JEWEL Wait. So you thought you were going to take these pills and grow a bigger penis... MYRON In four to six months. JEWEL No, really. You thought that? *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 14

MYRON Thats what they say in the commercial. Jewel doesnt know whos more insane, her son or this weirdo. JEWEL (to Andrew) For this you needed my input? Well speak later, Andrew. She starts to stand. Andrew pulls her back down in her seat. MYRON Am I wasting my time here? JEWEL No, mine. Again she starts to stand. Again Andrew pulls her back down. ANDREW Youre not wasting Mr. Cole. We just legal precedent to action against the your time here, need to find a justify taking manufacturer.

MYRON So they can just get away with selling products that dont do what they claim? ANDREW Fact of the matter is, herbal supplements are practically an anything-goes industry. In 1994 Congress passed the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act which basically limits how much control the FDA has over products that are considered to be "dietary supplements". This act of congress effectively removed the need for the manufacturers to prove their products worked, or were even safe, before they are allowed to sell them on the open market. So all those rigorous rules and standards the FDA has for prescription and over the counter drugs, well, they dont apply to dietary supplements including (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 15 ANDREW (CONT'D) products like MaxiLong, which can be sold with limited proof of effectiveness or safety. They can make claims based on their own interpretation of studies they conduct and the FDA is powerless.

MYRON So you are saying theres nothing I can do. JEWEL Dont feel bad, Mr. Cole. Youre not alone. Sadly enough there are millions of men in this country sitting up at two in the morning watching infomercials where theres this guy with his arm around a buxom blonde selling pills claiming they turned his member into a national treasure. Fact is, all you lemmings get in return is a $59.99 charge on your Visa card every month for the next, four to six months and not an inch to show for it. MYRON Thats gotta be against the law. Right? JEWEL No. Its called fine print. Read it next time. Now if you will excuse me... ANDREW But, if we could prove that you incurred damages associated from taking these pills -MYRON My wife is suing for divorce and I was fired from my job. Hows that for damages? JEWEL Your wifes decision is a no brainer, but fired from your job? What are you, a porn star? She laughs.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 16

MYRON Yes. Andrews face lights up. ANDREW I knew it! Youre Dougie Deep! I love your work. MYRON Thank you. Jewel shoots her son a look. JEWEL Really? ANDREW What? Im a patron of the arts! JEWEL Sure you are, son. Whatll it be this weekend? Les Miserables at the Paramount or Insatiable Sally on blue ray? MYRON I was up for that. No pun intended. ANDREW Why, if I may ask, would you need to use a product such as this? Ive noticed in your films that you are already very well endowed. Youre already knocking it out the park! (Curbing his enthusiasm) Not that I was checking you out like that, or doing any sort of comparison of what you have in relation to what Im packing, cause you know I -JEWEL Your mother is sitting right next to you. MYRON Why did Lance Armstrong or Barry Bonds use steroids when they were already knocking it out of the park? Bigger, better, stronger. It (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 17 MYRON (CONT'D) translates into dollars for athletes as well as porn stars.

ANDREW I see your point. The irony is that steroids worked for Lance and Barry but MaxiLong didnt work for you. MYRON I didnt say that it didnt work. I said it didnt work as promised. They claimed that I would add up to 3 inches.. I got 10. Now youre talkin! Jewel perks up. ANDREW (envious) Really? And the downside to this would be... MYRON Not to mention the additional quarter inch in girth. ANDREW Again, your main area of concern is... MYRON Nobody will work with me! Its too much! Actresses are walking off the set! ANDREW For having 10 inches? It seems that would be looked upon as perfectly acceptable in your profession, not to mention highly revered in mine. MYRON Flaccid. 10 inches flaccid. She has to see for herself. JEWEL I find that hard to believe... Myron stands. OVER MYRONS SHOULDER

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 18

We hear the ZIP of his pants. Jewel and Andrews eyes widen as Myron reveals his member to them. There is a THUD as Myrons penis hits the table. ANDREW Hey man! This is my mother! Andrew tries to cover her eyes. She pushes his hand away.

JEWEL (transfixed on it) As Ive already pointed out. Now go to your room. MYRON (really concerned) Can you imagine what this thing looks like fully aroused? IN THE B.G., Taylor walks by the conference room, catches a glimpse of Myrons junk and faints. JEWEL More times than Im willing to admit. Well take the case. CUT TO: INT. STONE, STONE & STONE - DAY (1) *

Ding of the elevator, and the doors open; Andrew and Max step out and head down the hallway. ANDREW I tell you dad, I couldnt take my eyes off the thing. MAX This sounds serious, Andrew. ANDREW It is. We are suing the manufacturer for disfigurement. MAX Not that. The fact that you couldnt take your eyes off of the guys penis. This is a fathers worst nightmare.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 19

ANDREW You know better. I inherited your brains and your love for women. Hopefully the former will keep the latter in check better than yours has. MAX Does your mother actually pay you to constantly remind me of my past indiscretions? ANDREW Not anymore. After your divorce she cut me off. MAX Divorcing your mother and keeping her as a partner was brilliant. I retain an exceptional legal mind on staff, yet remove myself from her personal life, as to avoid becoming a casualty of her mid-life crisis, while allowing me to deal with mine anyway that I see fit. ANDREW Wasnt it the other way around? Didnt she keep you on as a partner? MAX And I used to think your brother and sister were just being cruel when they used to call you a mamas boy. ANDREW Why do you pretend that splitting up with mom doesnt bother you? MAX Because it doesnt. What bothers me is that my son couldnt take his eyes off another mans penis. ANDREW You sound homophobic. MAX Youre right. On second thought, I think its wonderful that youre so square and forthcoming about this.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 20

ANDREW Well, as liberating as you may perceive this to be for me, proving that the supplements were the cause of our clients abnormal growth will be the challenge, not keeping my eyes off of his package. MAX If you say so, son. ANDREW and MAX proceed intoINT. MAXS OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Marvin, the cigar shop owner is sitting on MAXs couch. MARVIN Im sorry I didnt call before I came by. Max, the ATF is coming down on me real hard. MAX Well what did you expect, Marvin? You sell Cuban contraband. Marvin looks to Andrew with disbelief. ANDREW Of which you purchase the lion share. (To Marvin) My father mentioned the ATF raid to me earlier. Well take care of it. MARVIN Theyre hanging a $250,000 fine over my head. That would put me out of business. MAX Oh we cant allow that. You have a family to provide for. I assure you well do all we can. MARVIN I was beginning to think you werent concerned. MAX Thats ridiculous! Of course Im concerned. The next closest guy who (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 21 MAX (CONT'D) sells Cuban cigars is in Marin county! Who wants to drive way out there?

Marvin frowns. MAX (CONT'D) Marvin! Im kidding! I feel obligated to help you through your time of need considering you made it possible for me to secure those magnificent sticks. I was just about to show them to Andrew. Max takes the box of cigars from his desk and turns towards Andrew. WE HEAR AN ANGELIC CHORUS as he opens the lid of the box. MAX (CONT'D) (Re: angelic chorus) I know you heard that. ANDREW/MARVIN What? MAX Just me, huh? Max takes a stick from the box. ANDREW These look tasty. What are they? MAX H. Upmann Corona Royals. Handmade especially for Fidel Castro. ANDREW You dont say. MAX I do, I do. As a matter of fact, they were stolen from him by a CIA trained Cuban exile that was killed at the Bay of Pigs. ANDREW Pity. Crime doesnt pay even when committed in the name of democracy. Mr. Cohen, I have good news and bad (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 22 ANDREW (CONT'D) news. The good news is that all ATF matters in Alameda county are heard by Judge Harry Winters and we are familiar with him and his sensibilities.

MARVIN The bad news? MAX He hates us. ANDREW But he loves cigars. Especially ones with such an absorbing history. Andrew plucks the cigar from Maxs fingers and places it back into the box. MAX (concerned) Not as much as I do! CUT TO: INT. STONE, STONE AND STONE: BREAK ROOM - DAY (1) JULIUS STONE and MADISON STONE sit at one of the cafe tables chatting. Julius, late 26, is the youngest son of Max and Jewel. When it comes to Julius, you cant read a book by its cover. Juris Doctor and MBA from Harvard Law School and Harvard Business School. A brilliant legal mind complete with skinny jeans, Raider jerseys and Vans. Hip Hop through and through. Madison, 30, is Maxs daughter he had with his college sweetheart before his marriage to Jewel. Successful, attractive, and intelligent, yet cant manage to get someone to put a ring on her finger. Keenly concerned that her biological clock is ticking away. Corporate law is her specialty. A large floral arrangement sits on the table between them. Julius eats a sandwich while Madison reads the card attached. JULIUS So whos the sucker that actually thinks he has a shot by hooking you up with some flowers?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 23

MADISON Kenneth Perry. JULIUS I dont like dude. MADISON You and Andrew have never liked any of the guys Ive brought home. JULIUS Cause none of them were good enough for our big sister. Especially Kenneth Perry. MADISON Whats wrong with Kenneth? Hes handsome, successful law firm -JULIUS Took him three times to pass the bar. The guys not too bright, Madison. MADISON Who cares how many times he took the bar, Julius? He passed it! JULIUS About damn time! Now, his partner, Mike Ross? That brotha is a beast. Thats why theyre successful. Mike Ross. MADISON Im not interested in Mike Ross. Im interested in Kenneth Perry. JULIUS You've been throwing yourself at this dude since I was in high school. Hes not interested. If he hasnt stepped to you by now, hes not going to. MADISON Youre such a hater. He wants to do lunch and Im going. Hes been trying to go out with me for a year... (thinking) Which is about how long its been since weve spoken.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 24

JULIUS Exactly. Trust me, K. Perry always has ulterior motives. If he was really trying to get at you, he would take you to dinner, not lunch. And he would have sent roses, not fresh picked flowers from grannys garden. I gotta bounce. Julius wipes his mouth with a napkin and walks away as Madison stares at the card. CUT TO: INT. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS CHAMBERS - DAY (2) Judge Winters sits behind his desk, smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat and holding the box of cigars. Max manages a smile as he sees his coveted prize in the hands of another. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS So Castro really gave these to Desi Arnaz while filming an episode of I Love Lucy in Havana? MAX In exchange for a photo op with Fred and Ethyl. He loved the Mertzs. Big fan. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS And they came into your possession by way of.. MAX Thats not important. Look Harry. I know weve had our differences in the past. I want to make amends. Consider them an olive branch from Stone, Stone and Stone. May we move forward with a new found respect, trust and love for one another. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Respect, trust and love, huh? MAX (spoken) Kum By Ya.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 25

JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Cut the crap, Max. I know all about Mr. Cohens ATF problems. And if I didnt know better, I would think you brought these cigars over here as a bribe. MAX You see, thats the trust that I was referring to. All it needs is a little cultivation. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS (examining the box) You know, maybe youre right. Lets let bygones be bygones. I accept your olive branch with the expectation that I will no longer have to put up with any more of you or your sons antics in my courtroom. MAX Those days are long behind us. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Tell your client that the ATF will no longer be pursuing his case. However, next time he might not be so lucky. MAX So its taken care of? Poof? Gone? JUDGE HARRY WINTERS As far as Im concerned it never happened. The ATF has a budget of close to a billion dollars. You would think these clowns would be more concerned with keeping firearms out of the hands of high school students than clogging the courts calendar with Cuban cigar infractions. I simply dont have time for this nonsense. MAX I agree with you 100%. Enjoy the, uh, olive branch.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 26

JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Oh I will. I cant wait to light one of these. Theyre just so beautiful to look at, arent they? He turns the box towards Max and opens the lid. ANGELIC CHORUS. MAX (Re: Angelic Chorus) Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Max turns and exits. CUT TO: INT. STONE, STONE & STONE: CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY (2) Jewel, Andrew and Mr. Cole sit at the conference table speaking with MaxiLong attorney, EVERETT SIMS. EVERETT SIMS You cant be serious. If what your client claims is true, not only has he achieved the results as promised by MaxiLong, he surpasses all expectations of the product. And you want to sue for that? JEWEL If surpassing all expectations means transmuting into a freak of nature, then yes, we want to sue for that. More specifically, product liability as well as fraud and false advertising. EVERETT SIMS This should be good. How? JEWEL It shouldnt be too difficult. Under products liability law all we have to do is prove your product to be defective or unreasonably dangerous. Your product fails to warn consumers of potential injury risks associated with its use. *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 27

EVERETT SIMS Nor do we have to. Have you forgotten that we are not even required to register with the FDA? JEWEL But you are required by the FDA to provide product label information that is truthful and not misleading. Jewel picks up the bottle of MaxiLong. JEWEL (CONTD) (Reading) One to three inches in four to six months (To Everett) Which should we go with, untruthful or misleading? ANDREW Mr. Sims, we will seek to provide relief through compensation to Mr. Cole for the damages he has incurred. Loss of earnings capacity, pain and suffering, and reimbursement of reasonable medical expenses. EVERETT SIMS And how do you intend to prove that MaxiLong is responsible for your clients ridiculous claim? MYRON Ridiculous? You wanna see ridiculous?! Myron stands and unzips his pants. JEWEL That wont be necessary, Mr. Pole. Cole! Mr. Cole! Please sit down. MYRON I need to use the rest room. Excuse me. Myron zips up and EXITS.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 28

JEWEL In response to your question Mr. Sims, perhaps well prove your products liability the same way you prove its reliability. EVERETT SIMS Our products reliability and effectiveness is based on exhaustive scientific data. JEWEL Oh please. You point to the "Independent Customer Study" on your website as proof the product works when all you did was mail a questionnaire with the product to fifty guys in hopes they say it worked for them. Hardly a double blind study if you ask me, and far from being scientific proof of anything other than the gullibility of a limited group of individuals. Lets be honest here. We all know that MaxiLong can increase penis size about as well as magic beans made Jacks bean stalk grow. But according to Mr. Coles physician, one or more of the components in your product is responsible for this abnormality and MaxiLong will be held accountable. EVERETT SIMS Well, I have yet to see this abnormality or proof that we caused it. Until then, I guess we have nothing to talk about. JEWEL Well be hearing from Mr. Coles physician in a day or so. You can review the results as well as the photos in discovery. EVERETT SIMS Im looking forward to it. Win or lose, when the media catches wind that Dougie Deep is suing us for making him too large, I would imagine our bottom line will increase (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 29 EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) exponentially! In about four to six months! Well be in touch.

Jewel and Andrew share a look of uncertainty as Everett Sims stands and exits the room. CUT TO: INT. STONE, STONE & STONE: MENS ROOM - DAY (2) Max is doing his business at the urinal when Myron ENTERS. Myron steps up to the urinal next to Max to relieve himself. Max peers over and checks out Myrons package. He stares at it for a BEAT, then looks at Myron. MAX What are you, Creole? He stares back down at Myrons package. MYRON Do you mind?? CUT TO: INT. STONE, STONE & STONE - CONTINUOUS *

Max rushes out of the mens room and down the hallway. In his haste he runs smack into Madison, sending her armful of files and papers across the floor. MADISON Daddy!? MAX (rushing) Madison... Im sorry, sweetie. He starts away, then turns to her. MAX (CONT'D) I love the suit. I remember when your mother could fit into one that size. MADISON She still can. Maybe you should give her a call now that you and Jewel are divorced.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 30

MAX I just may do that. MADISON No you wont. MAX Youre right. He continues quickly down the hall. CUT TO: INT. ANDREWS OFFICE - DAY (2) Max is still quite flustered. ANDREW So you couldnt take your eyes off it, huh? MAX It was like my eyes were caught in a tractor beam. In a non-homosexual way of course. ANDREW Of course. Max grabs the bottle of MaxiLong off of Andrews desk. MAX These are worth their weight in gold. Max quickly places the bottle in his pocket. ANDREW I wouldnt be so sure. Mr. Coles physician has a theory on what he feels caused his condition. Were speaking with him again in the morning. MAX In the morning? We need to talk to him today! Now! Andrew, can you imagine what I could do if that stuff actually works? *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 31

ANDREW I can. Andrew reaches into Maxs pocket retrieving the bottle. ANDREW (CONT'D) As well as the googolplex of lawsuits defending you that would undoubtedly ensue. MAX Dream killer. ANDREW Well, all is not lost, father. I did some research on those cigars. Id hold off on giving them to Judge Winters. MAX Hold off?? ANDREW It seems the H. Upmann Corona Royale is far more rare than you thought. Max feels the pit of his stomach drop. MAX How far more rare? ANDREW Very. Only five boxes, handmade in 1961. They were a gift from Khrushchev to Fidel Castro when he declared Cuba a socialist republic and established formal ties with the Soviet Union. That box you have is valued by collectors in upwards of $5,000. The beauty of it all is that since they were made in 1961 they are pre-embargo. Unless the ATF can prove that they were imported after 1962, they have no choice but to drop all charges against Marvin. Fantastic turn of events, wouldnt you say? Max snarls. CUT TO:

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 32

INT. JUDGE WINTERSS CHAMBERS - DAY (2) Judge Winters sits smugly at his desk with a smile as Max stands in front of him clearly unhappy. The prized box of cigars sits OPEN on his desk. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Is it my fault you didnt do your research? You should have known what you were bartering with. MAX A costly oversight on my part indeed, yet one not beyond amending. Be a sport, Harry. Give them back. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS No. MAX No? JUDGE HARRY WINTERS No. MAX Can I speak off the record? JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Sure. MAX You dirty rotten son of a bitch! Give me my cigars! Max grabs Judge Winters by the collar of his robe and shakes him violently. MAX (CONT'D) Theyre mine! Theyre mine! Theyre mine! JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Let go of me! Max pulls Judge Winters across the desk whos elbow hits a nearby pitcher of Iced Tea, spilling it into the rare box of cigars. Max and Judge Winters stop tussling and look at the ruined box of cigars.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 33

WE HEAR THE ANGELIC CHORUS, but this time it sounds as if its being sung UNDERWATER. MAX/JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Noooo! SMASH CUT TO: INT. JAIL CELL - DAY The bar slams shut in Maxs face. He pulls a soggy cigar from his pocket and puts it in his mouth. It droops towards the floor. CUT TO: END OF ACT I ACT II FADE IN: EXT. COURTHOUSE - DAY (2) Max and Julius walk down the stairs leading from the courthouse. MAX For Christs sake, Julius. Youre an attorney. Must you continue embarrassing the family by dressing like Grand Master Flash? JULIUS Wow. You really should update your references, pop. Last time Grand Master Flash was relevant I was like.. One. Maybe. MAX Im in no mood for your insolence, boy. JULIUS No insolence intended. But come on, man. Clothing is not a barometer of a mans capabilities. MAX Did you call me man?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 34

My bad.

JULIUS Pops.

MAX Your capabilities are not in question here. Its your etiquette. This is why I fired you last year. Your blatant disrespect for our profession. How you carry yourself is a reflection on the Stone family name. JULIUS And trying to choke out a judge in his chambers isnt? MAX We were in... mediation. JULIUS Of course you were. But not in the traditional sense. Youre not traditional, pop. Why would you want me to be? MAX Im very traditional. JULIUS Really? You named me after your favorite basketball player. MAX Your mother came up with the name Julius, not Me. JULIUS Yeah, after she saw on my birth certificate that you had me legally named Dr. Jay.! Really pop? Dr. Jay Stone? Thats traditional? MAX The day you were born he scored forty against the Knicks. I felt obligated. JULIUS See, its that absurdity in your reality that makes you the great Maximilian Stone. I just want to do (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 35 JULIUS (CONT'D) what I do and find out who I am in my reality.

Jabbar Boston points Kareem offer?

MAX scored thirty nine against that same night. You were two from your reality being named Abdul Stone. What did Harry

JULIUS He said he would dismiss the assault charges if you remit $5,000 for the loss of the cigars. I told him Id recommend it. MAX Recommend it? I recommend you both get your heads examined. Im not paying him one red -JULIUS Did you know cigars were originally sold in bundles covered with pigs' bladders with a pod of vanilla to improve the smell? MAX Fascinating. But somehow I doubt if the history of cigar packaging is going to make me feel better about losing 5 grand. JULIUS I wouldnt be so sure. In 1830, two German bankers, Hermann and August Upmann started shipping cigars from Cuba for the use of their directors in London, in sealed cedar boxes stamped with the bank's emblem. When the bank decided to go full scale into the cigar business, they relocated to Havana and the cedar box took off as a form of packaging for all the major Cuban brands. Near the start of the 20th century, the Upmann Bank, as well as their cigar company, went out of business, and in 1935, the H. Upmann brand was sold to Menedez, Garcia, y Cia. This company (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 36 JULIUS (CONT'D) continued producing cigars until the Cuban revolution.

MAX (Getting excited) Get to the part where I dont have to pay! JULIUS So when the cigar brand was sold, along with it came 150 cedar boxes with the original Upmann Bank seal stamped on the bottom, circa 1850. Only Cuban Leaders and the very wealthy received their cigars in these rare boxes. While the H. Upmann Corona Royale cigar is as valuable a cigar as they get, the box could be worth considerably more. MAX Are you saying I left a priceless cigar box in Winterss chambers? JULIUS I wouldnt say priceless. Forty, fifty thousand from a knowledgeable collector maybe. And thats if it has the Upmann Bank seal stamped on it. MAX Rehiring you is the best, worst thing I ever did. JULIUS Uh, mom rehired me. Shes the parent who actually loves me. CUT TO: INT. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMSS COURTROOM - DAY (3) CLOSE ON VIDEO SCREEN A woman in sexy lingerie sits on a couch brushing her hair. The doorbell rings and she walks over to the door. WOMAN (seductively) Who is it?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 37

MYRON (V.O.) Pizza. The woman opens the door to reveal Myron Dougie Deep Cole dressed as a pizza delivery boy holding a pizza box. WOMAN Bring it over here. Myron follows her over to a table where he puts the pizza down. The woman opens the pizza box. WOMAN (CONT'D) I asked for extra sausage! MYRON I got your extra sausage right here. Myron unzips his pants. WE PULL BACK to see we are in a courtroom watching a video. Myron sits at a table with Andrew admiring his performance with a contented smile on his face. Jewel stands near the witness stand holding a remote control. We HEAR that 70s wah wah guitar music and the woman in the video screaming with passion. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS begins to fan herself. JEWEL turns off the video. JEWEL That was my client before taking the defendants product. She hands some photographs to the judge. JEWEL (CONT'D) This is him now. Judge Barbaras eyes widen. She fans faster. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Oh my. The judge looks over towards Myron. He smiles at her with a wink. She coyly smiles back, then looks down to the photograph again.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 38

JEWEL I will be entering that into evidence, Your Honor. Uh, when you are done, of course. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS (snapping out of it) Oh yes. Of course. Bailiff? AN AFRICAN AMERICAN bailiff approaches and takes the picture from the judge. He looks at the photograph, then glances over at Myron shrugging his shoulders.Is that all?. CUT TO: INT. COURT CORRIDOR/EXT. JUDGE WINTERSS CHAMBERS (3) Max peers around the corner into Judge Winterss chambers where he sees the judge gathering some papers from his desk. He also notices the coveted cigar box sitting on top of some other refuge in a trash pale. Judge Winters turns and starts towards the door, forcing Max to retreat down the corridor in the other direction. When Judge Winters is out of sight, Max starts towards the chambers, but is beaten to the door by a janitor pushing a large trash can. Max watches the janitor empty the small trash pale with the cigar box into his larger one. Max starts into the judges chambers. MAX (to the janitor) Excuse me -JUDGE HARRY WINTERS (V.O.) What are you doing here? Startled, Max wheels around and is face to face with Judge Winters. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS (CONTD) Do I need to get a restraining order against you?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 39

MAX Of course not, Harry. I was just coming back to apologize for my reprehensible actions yesterday. The janitor rolls the garbage can out as Max longingly stares at the cigar box within. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS Well? MAX Im sorry. JUDGE HARRY WINTERS That reeked with sincerity. The next time I see you around here youd better have a check in your hand. MAX Undoubtably. CUT TO: INT. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMSS COURTROOM - DAY (3) Jewel questions the witness for the prosecution, DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB. She holds in her hand a bottle of MaxiLong. JEWEL Dr. Weintraub. After examining Mr. Cole, what was your prognosis? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB It was determined that Mr. Cole suffers from a rare form of angioneurotic edema called Giant Urticaria. JEWEL Exactly how rare is this Giant Urticaria? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Extremely. There have only been three documented cases of Giant Urticaria in the past 75 years that have manifest itself in the way that it has in Mr. Cole. Its really quite extraordinary.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 40

Judge Williams gazes at Myron. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Its certainly is. Myron once again smiles and winks at the smoldering Judge Williams. Jewel sharply turns to Judge Williams. JEWEL Hello? JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Oh Jewel, just ask your questions, OK? She turns to her witness. JEWEL Dr. Weintraub, you say there have only been three documented cases of this particular disease in the last 75 years, correct? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB That is correct. JEWEL But doctor, MaxiLong has only been available for the last 3 years. So how can it possibly be responsible for triggering this condition in Mr. Cole? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB MaxiLong hasnt been around for 75 years, but Yohimbine, the active ingredient in MaxiLong has. JEWEL Yohimbine? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Yohimbine is an active chemical found in the bark of the African Yohimbe tree that has been shown in human studies to be effective in the treatment of male impotence. The Yohimbine that Mr. Cole ingested over the last six months interacted with (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 41 DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB (CONT'D) his endocrine system by mimicking his hormones and their signaling systems. Hormones work with the immune and nervous systems to regulate growth, reproduction, metabolism, immunity, cognition, and behavior. In Mr. Coles case, the target of the hormonal interference was growth. More specifically, his penis.

JEWEL So what youre saying is -EVERETT SIMS Objection. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS (to JEWEL) You know better. JEWEL So in your expert opinion, Dr. Weintraub, is MaxiLong the cause of Mr. Coles deformity? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Yes. JEWEL Thank you, doctor. No further questions. Jewel walks back to her table where Andrew gives her an approving smile. Everett Sims approaches Dr. Weintraub for his cross. EVERETT SIMS Dr. Weintraub, you testified that the Yohimbe in MaxiLong interacted with his endocrine system by mimicking his hormones and their signaling systems, is that correct? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Yes. EVERETT SIMS And by mimicking, do you mean multiplying his human growth hormone, (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 42 EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) giving Mr. Cole his glorious new size.

DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB I suppose thats one way of looking at it, yes. Everett Sims moves towards Dr. Weintraub and leans in for a more personal conversation. EVERETT SIMS So tell me, doctor. What could one do to regulate the exact size a man can achieve when the human growth hormone is mimicked in this fashion? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB I dont understand the question. EVERETT SIMS (Almost whispering but not quite) Can I mass produce a pill that induces this angioneurotic edema in the same way that it affected Mr. Cole, and if so, tell me exactly how I can do it. JEWEL Really Everett? JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Mr. Sims? EVERETT SIMS I was merely illustrating how silly and absurd this case is and had no intentions of having the good doctor here answer that question in this courtroom. Everett slips the doctor his card on the sly. EVERETT SIMS (CONTD) (to JEWEL) Sorry. Ill try to speed things up. I know you and your son are very busy people. * * *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 43

JEWEL Thank you. Your haste would be much appreciated. EVERETT SIMS (Turning to the witness stand) Dr. Weintraub, have you ever heard of endocrine disrupting chemicals? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Yes. EVERETT SIMS Good. Can you tell the court exactly what they are and what the main concern is in regards to contact with humans? In your expert opinion of course. DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB They are environmental chemicals found in pesticides, consumer products, and cigarette smoke. EVERETT SIMS That was a two-part question Dr. Weintraub. What is the main concern regarding endocrine disrupting chemicals in regards to human beings? Dr. Weintraub looks over at Jewel and Andrew a defeated man. Everett Sims picks up a legal pad from his table. EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) Could the main concern with endocrine disrupting chemicals be... (reading) They interact with the endocrine system by mimicking ones hormones and their signaling systems? Is that what they do Dr. Weintraub? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB Yes. EVERETT SIMS And would it be safe to assume that Mr. Cole, at different points in his life, may have possibly come into (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 44 EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) contact with pesticides, consumer products and cigarette smoke?

JEWEL Objection. EVERETT SIMS I retract the question. Dr. Weintraub, again, in your expert opinion, is the ingestion of Yohimbe the only way that Mr. Cole could have contracted Giant Urticaria? DR. MORRIS WEINTRAUB No. EVERETT SIMS No more questions. Everett Sims turns to Jewel. EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) Was that hasty enough for ya? CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE/GARBAGE BIN AREA - DAY (3) Max bursts from the courthouse just in time to witness the janitor dumping his trash can into a very large garbage bin behind the building. When the coast is clear, Max approaches the garbage bins. Lifting up the top, he winces from the foul smell. Still firm in his resolve, he leans over into the garbage bin and searches for his rare cigar box. MAX (V.O.) (Echoing from inside the trash in) I...cant...reach it. Max comes out of the garbage bin, then scans the area making sure hes not being watched. MAX 50 grand is 50 grand. He climbs ALL THE WAY into the garbage bin. After a bit of rummaging he emerges covered in garbage with the box. He frantically searches it for the Bank of Upmann seal. Its not there.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 45

MAX (CONT'D) Damn! He tosses the box aside, climbs back out of the garbage bin and starts brushing himself off. He turns around and sees A BAG LADY staring him in the face. BAG LADY God bless you. She holds out a dollar. Max grimaces; steps away, then reconsiders her offer, snatching it from her hand. CUT TO: INT. CIGAR SHOP - DAY (3) Still soiled from his garbage bin excavation, Max marches up to Marvin standing behind the counter. MAX I want those cigars. MARVIN What happened to you? And what is that smell?! MAX Never mind that. Where are they? MARVIN Youre in luck. I just got a new shipment in today. Marvin reaches under the counter pulls out a box of cigars. MARVIN (CONT'D) Monticristo number two. Your favorite. MAX Not these! The ones that Castro shouldve smoked himself that have now become the bane of my existence! You had one box left. Name your price. MARVIN The Corona Royales?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 46

MAX Yes the Corona Royales! Where are they? MARVIN After I found out I could sell them legally, I put them on display. They didnt last 15 minutes. I got six grand for them. Marvin holds out his arm. MARVIN (CONT'D) How do you like my new Rolex? Max examines the watch. MAX (begrudgingly) Its a fake. CUT TO: INT. WILSONS BEDROOM - NIGHT Jewel and Wilson are in bed. Pillow talk. WILSON Why dont we just leave? You know, move away. Start over fresh somewhere. Together. JEWEL What about my practice? My family? WILSON Max? JEWEL Hes the father of my children, Wilson. What am I supposed to do, act like he doesnt exist? WILSON I understand that. But if youre honest with yourself, could you actually imagine your life without him? *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 47

JEWEL Of course I can. And I have. WILSON How was it? Manageable? JEWEL Wilson, I have moved on. Max has moved on. He has no bearing on my personal decisions anymore. WILSON What about me? Do I? Theres a long pause... Then WILSON (CONTD) Well, do I? JEWEL What happened to the money, Wilson? WILSON What? The money. JEWEL Did you take it?

WILSON I told you I didnt take it. I thought you of all people would believe me. JEWEL I do. But Max doesnt. WILSON Max... Wilson groans and gently pushes away from her. JEWEL Im sorry, but his instincts are just so good when it comes to these things. Wilson turns towards her and pulls her close and looks her straight in the eye.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 48

WILSON Listen to me. I didnt take the money. Trilogy deals with fourteen different banks. Its an error. They will find it. I would never lie to you. A beat. JEWEL Okay. I believe you. CAMERON (O.S.) I dont. Cameron steps into the bedroom holding a pistol. Camerons 20 year oldest son, Cameron Jr. ENTERS. 64 260 lbs. CAMERON JR. Oh snap! Aunt Jewel, whats up,? CAMERON Son, take Mr. Foxx into the kitchen and wait for me. JEWEL Dont hurt him, Cammy! You hear me?? WILSON Cammy??? Cameron Jr. snatches Wilson out the bed and drags him out the room. JEWEL Im going to call the police. She wraps herself in the bed sheets and searches for her cell. CAMERON Dont forget to tell them that Max is the one who hired me. She abandons the search. JEWEL Youre such an ass. CAMERON I know. And yet we still have ourselves quite the conundrum, dont (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 49 CAMERON (CONT'D) we? Its obvious that Max broke his promise to you by virtue of the fact that Im here. But so are you. Which means hes not the only one breaking promises. I wonder if hell find the irony in all this as amusing as I do.

CUT TO: INT. WILSONS CONDO - CONTINUOUS Cameron Jr is standing over Wilson who is seated at the kitchen table in his underwear. WILSON I gotta tell you, I was relieved when I found out you decided to stay at Cal and not enter the NFL draft. Theyd be hurting at Middle linebacker if you left. CAMERON JR. My uncle Max talked me out of it. WILSON What a guy. CAMERON JR. He made a lot of sense. A degree from Cal Berkeley means something in the real world. I sustain a career ending injury without it, Im stuck cutting fingers off and burying dead bodies for my father the rest of my life. WILSON Huh? Cameron Jr pulls out a knife. CAMERON JR. I cant even stand the sight of blood! The first time I cut off a guys pinkie I passed out. WILSON (panicking) You dont have to do this. *

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 50

CAMERON JR. Yes I do. I need the money. The days of athletes getting paid under the table from alumni and boosters at division one schools are over. Thank you, Reggie Bush. CUT TO: INT. WILSONS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS JEWEL If Max knew I was here it would hurt him. CAMERON Hurt him, or hurt you to know all hopes of reconciliation with my brother would be gone? Either way its all so... So complicated. JEWEL
Cameron, please.

Cameron scratches his head with the pistol. CAMERON Well, I guess we can keep this between ourselves. But you owe me one. Right? Jewel doesnt respond. CAMERON (CONTD) Say it. Cameron I owe you one JEWEL (reluctantly) Cameron, I owe you one. CAMERON Great. Now I have work to do. He exits. JEWEL Wait!!

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 51

She hurries behind him still wrapped in a sheet. CUT TO: INT. WILSONS CONDO - CONTINUOUS CAMERON JR. Only once a guy didnt talk before I got all four fingers and his thumb. I dont like thumbs. Gotta press down too hard. Cameron approaches with Jewel on his heels. CAMERON Mr. Foxx, sorry to keep you waiting. Cameron Jr. Grabs Wilsons hand and holds it down on the table, knife ready to remove fingers. JEWEL Cammy dont! CAMERON JR. Shes right, Dad. I shouldnt do this. What a relief. JEWEL Thank you. Now can we just -CAMERON JR. If he did steal the money, theres still a lot he can do missing a few fingers. Wheres the incentive to tell the truth? CAMERON You got a point, son. have in mind? What do you *

CAMERON JR. Were 20 stories up. How bout hanging him over the balcony? JEWEL (to Cameron) See what youve done? (points at Cameron Jr.) (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 52 JEWEL (CONT'D) This is all your fault. The Cammy I know never would have suggested such a thing. He was a good boy while he lived with his mother. Now look at him.

Cameron Jr. lowers his head in shame for disappointing his aunt. CAMERON The boy is old enough to make his own decisions. Cameron slides the patio door open, walks out onto the balcony and looks down. CAMERON JR. Youre not going to tell moms about this are you? JEWEL Why, so you can chop my fingers off and toss me off of a building too? CAMERON My God! Hang me over that and Id talk. Do your thing son. Cameron Jr. Drops the knife and drags Wilson out onto the balcony despite Jewels pleading not to do it. JEWEL Youre insane! You cant do this! Cameron turns to her. CAMERON Do I come into the courtroom and interrupt you when youre working? No. I require that same professional courtesy extended to me. JEWEL Are you out of your freaking mind you dishwater psychopath?? CAMERON Dishwater? JEWEL CAMMY DONT!!!

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 53

The San Francisco skyline is a sight to see as Cameron Jr. holds Wilson by his ankles over the balcony. CAMERON Excuse me. He exits to the balcony mumbling to himself. CAMERON (CONT'D) Dishwater.... CAMERON (CONTD) So whats it gonna be, Wilson? WILSON (hanging upside down) Please pull me up! Im innocent! CAMERON Max Doesnt think so. WILSON Max, Max, Max! Im tired of hearing about Max!! Hes all she talks about! Jewel steps out onto the balcony. JEWEL Wilson? Thats not true! WILSON Yes it is! You were talking about him just before they got here! CAMERON What do you expect? Jewel still loves him. WILSON I know. JEWEL That is not true! CAMERON If I were you, Id just accept it and move on. CAMERON JR. Hes getting heavy, dad.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 54

CAMERON Max thinks you embezzled the money thinking Jewel would run off with you. Jewel is truly puzzled. JEWEL How does he know these things? CAMERON Because Wilson here is an idiot. Thats what Max said. And I agree with him. Who would want to run off with Jules? JEWEL Screw you. CAMERON Except for probably Max! WILSON To hell with Max!! I swear if I hear his name again I will jump myself! CAMERON JR. (straining) Dad... Cameron Jr. lets a leg slip away from him and now dangles Wilson 20 stories up by one ankle. WILSON Okay, I took the money! Banks in Beijing have been open for a couple hours now. The account number is in my sock drawer. You can call and make the transfer back to Trilogys account yourself! Just pull me up please!!! Cameron Jr. Pulls him back onto the balcony. CAMERON Youre getting good at this son! He really thought you were gonna drop him. WILSON He was!

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 55

CAMERON The boy benches 600. You weigh about a buck 75. How was he going to drop you? CAMERON JR. Yeah, I had you, Mr. Foxx. We cool? Cameron Jr holds out his hand. Wilson is thinking. Shaking it is the last thing

CAMERON JR. (CONTD) You gonna leave me hangin? CAMERON Hangin! They laugh. Not Wilson. WILSON Hysterical. Good luck against Oregon. I hope you lose an eye. CAMERON JR. Dad, I gotta get back to the dorms. Coach got us on a curfew. Later aunt Jewel. CAMERON And I must be leaving as well. Jules, always a pleasure. Cameron and his son EXIT. JEWEL (furious) You lied to me??? WILSON Jewel, let me explain -Wilson reaches out to hug Jewel... JEWEL Dont touch me! ...but she ducks under his arms. His momentum carries him over the balcony.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 56

JEWEL (CONTD) Oops. CUT TO: INT. COURT CORRIDOR - DAY (4) Andrew and Jewel speak with their client outside the courtroom. Jewel sits on a bench staring into space. She looks like... well, she looks like she couldnt sleep the night before due to the recurring thought of her now dead boyfriend falling to his death because she refused to hug him. MYRON (sarcastically) Do all your cases go this smoothly? ANDREW Oddly enough, yes. MYRON She alright? ANDREW Shes fine. Thats her game face. She continues to stare. ANDREW (CONT'D) Well, the good news is that we only have to petition the judge as opposed to an entire jury. And Judge Williams seems to be quite taken with you. MYRON I know! Should I keep winking at her? I mean, I normally dont flirt with older chicks like that cause they generally dont do anything for me. (To Jewel) No offense. But if it will help me out, Ill do it. Shes still zoned out. ANDREW That wont be necessary Mr. Cole. No more winking. It is inappropriate.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 57

MYRON Shes jealous, isnt she? Myron smiles and looks to Andrew. MYRON (CONT'D) She is, isnt she? Look at her. Youre moms jealous. Jewel slowly turn her eyes towards Myron. Andrew looks at his mother examining the contemptuous gaze she has fixed upon the porn star. ANDREW Im guessing no. Everett Sims confidently approaches. EVERETT SIMS Look guys. Lets put this thing to bed. Theres no way in hell that you can prove my clients product caused anything to happen to Mr. Cole. Andrew and Jewel look at each other as if a light bulb came on simultaneously in their heads. EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) I can motion to dismiss, but it would be easier if you just drop the case. What do you say? Ill even talk to my client about bringing Mr. Cole on to endorse MaxiLong. Put a few bucks in his pocket. MYRON How much? ANDREW Nowhere near as much as youre going to receive if you allow us to do our job. Well see you inside, Mr. Sims. EVERETT SIMS Cant wait. (to Myron) Sorry kid. Everett leaves.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 58

MYRON Im starting to feel like we dont stand a chance of winning this case. JEWEL We dont. Jewel walks away towards the courtroom. ANDREW Not a snowballs chance in hell. Andrew follows. A look of concern distorts Myrons face. CUT TO: INT. RESTAURANT - DAY (4) Madison is sitting at a table reading COSMOPOLITAN. KENNETH PERRY, 36, handsome African American guy, walks up. KENNETH Madison. Great to see you. MADISON Kenneth. They hug. He smells good. Must work out with these arms. MADISON (CONTD) Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful. KENNETH Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. May I? MADISON Of course. He sits. MADISON (CONTD) I was surprised to hear from you. Its been what, a year?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 59

KENNETH Yeah, and I apologize for that. I dropped the ball. But Ive thought about you a lot over the past year. MADISON (flattered and flirting) Ive thought about you too, Kenneth. But lets get back to you thinking about me a lot. When you say a lot, exactly how much would that be? Apparently not that much. ANNETTE, an attractive White female in her 30s walks up. Madison looks down at the magazine. Annette is on the cover. ANNETTE So you must be Madison. Im Annette. Oh. It talks too! Madison tries to piece things together as they shake hands. KENNETH My fiance. Madison smiles with surprise splattered across her face. Speechless. Fiance? Really? And Im here because... ANNETTE So what did I miss? Did you tell her? KENNETH I was just about to. MADISON We were at how much he has been thinking of me in the past year. As she cocks her neck awaiting a response... KENNETH A great deal. Both Mike and I have. Madison, wed like to make you a partner at Ross, Perry and Associates. Youre an exceptional attorney and wed be honored if youd join us. Madisons face remains frozen with the same look of revelation it had moments ago. Did that Negro say fiance?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 60

ANNETTE Plus Ross, Perry and Stone sounds much more professional. Dont you think, hon? KENNETH What ever you say babe. Madison shifts in her seat. Yep. He said fiance. KENNETH (CONTD) Now I know were not as big as Max and Jewels outfit, and the security of working with your family will be missing, but were growing and building momentum. Were making quite a name for ourselves. Kenneth slides a manila envelope across the table to Madison. KENNETH (CONT'D) Weve prepared a lucrative Partner Compensation Plan that I would like you to look at over the weekend, and possibly Monday, meet at the office to discuss your thoughts and concerns. Madison, I really hope you consider our offer. ANNETTE (big smile) So do I. Annette snuggles up to Kenneth as they both await a response from Madison whos smile is still firmly intact. MADISON So, whens the happy day? CUT TO: INT. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMSS COURTROOM (4) Everett Sims is presenting his closing arguments with a bottle of MaxiLong in his hand. EVERETT SIMS Your Honor, MaxiLong is the number one selling male enhancement supplement in the world. Over the (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 61 EVERETT SIMS (CONT'D) last three years MaxiLong has earned the trust of 8 million customers in the US and Canada. And yet Ms. Stone would have you believe that their client is the one man out of 8 million other satisfied customers to contract this rare condition due to the use of this fine product. MaxiLong is listed as a dietary supplement. And as you know dietary supplements are not required to be registered with the Food and Drug Administration. However if a dietary supplement is deemed dangerous to the public, the FDA has the jurisdiction to remove such products from the marketplace. No such action has been taken against MaxiLong. You heard expert testimony from the plaintiffs personal physician, Dr. Weintraub, where he could give no conclusive evidence supporting the claim that MaxiLong had anything to do with Mr. Coles angioneurotic edema. As a matter of fact, Dr. Weintraub suggested several different ways Mr. Cole could have come about his condition. The bottle clearly states that results may vary, that this product is not registered with the Food and Drug Administration and should be taken at your own risk. While we sympathize with Mr. Coles circumstances, we do not claim liability, nor should we be held accountable for his present infirmity. Thank you.

Everett Sims returns to his seat. Jewel moves towards the center of the courtroom for her closing remarks. JEWEL Your Honor, we withdraw all charges. Stunned, Myron turns to Jewel. MYRON What the hell is she doing? ANDREW Securing your financial future.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 62

JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS And I was so looking forward to one of your lengthy, thought-provoking closes. JEWEL Fabulous! Ill try not to disappoint. Judge Williams slumps down into her high-back leather chair. JEWEL (CONTD) Mr. Sims came to us during the recess and selflessly suggested that we drop the charges because, and I quote, Theres no way in hell that you can prove my clients product caused anything to happen to Mr. Cole. So we conscientiously took his recommendation under advisement and low and behold, we came to the same conclusion. There is no way in hell that we can prove MaxiLong caused anything to happened to our client. Just like there is no way in hell that Mr. Sims can prove that MaxiLong caused anything to happen to the 8 million people that bought it. Why? Because it doesnt work! You would have to have a brain the size of a tic-tac to believe you can increase the size of your penis by simply taking a pill. Jewel looks over at Myron. JEWEL (CONTD) No offense. Myron smirks. JEWEL (CONTD) Your Honor, it should be our aim, no, our responsibility not to exploit ignorance just because it is so readily available. There are millions of people out there who fall prey to companies such as MaxiLong that concentrate solely upon products that manipulate the insecurities of the buyer. Pills that make you taller, shorter, thinner, smarter, grow your (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 63 JEWEL (CONTD) breasts, shrink your feet and put hair back on top of your head, all just a credit card and a mouse click away. We may even laugh at the notion of someone buying these ridiculous pills, but is it as funny when it is your grandmother buying these useless placebos as a last resort to reverse the symptoms of her cancer? Or your father spending his hard earned pension on some miracle pill that claims it can reverse the symptoms of his Alzheimers? Well, as long as your product claims to reverse the symptoms and not cure the disease the FDA will not get involved. It is illegal for you to be told in the market that prune juice treats constipation, which we all know it does, but its perfectly okay to tell men MaxiLong will increase the size of their penis which we all know it wont. Perhaps Mr. Sims is familiar with the nationwide class action that was filed against Carlisle Premium Nutraceuticals on behalf of purchasers of their popular male enhancement product Menzyte, who alleged that the company used false and deceptive advertisements with phony statistics to lure nave consumers in violation of state consumer protection laws. 4 million or so people wanted their money back and were awarded 80 million dollars in damages and reimbursements.

Jewel turns towards Everett. JEWEL (CONTD) Out of the eight million people that purchased MaxiLong, how many of those do you suppose just might want their money back too? Everett thinks for a moment. EVERETT SIMS 5 million.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 64

JEWEL Probably closer to all eight million customers. EVERETT SIMS Very funny. JEWEL Oh. 5 million was your offer. Nonstarter. EVERETT SIMS My client has not broken any laws. Hes operating within the guidelines of both the FDA and the FTC. Weve done nothing wrong here. JEWEL If that is the case, your client has nothing to worry about. (Turning to the judge) Im sorry we wasted so much of the courts time Your Honor. EVERETT SIMS Enough already. Why dont you just give me your number? JEWEL 50 million. EVERETT SIMS 25. JEWEL Nothing structured, everything up front. EVERETT SIMS Sealed, no admission. JEWEL Deal. JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Are we done here? JEWEL I believe so Your Honor. The judge the slams her gavel down.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 65

JUDGE BARBARA WILLIAMS Goodbye. Everett gathers his things, and walks out of the courtroom. Jewel approaches her table. JEWEL Congratulations Mr. Cole. MYRON I cant thank you two enough for this. ANDREW Youre welcome. Perhaps this settlement will help you reconcile with your wife. MYRON Are you kidding? With 25 million and a tool like mine who needs a wife?! CUT TO: INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING Max, Jewel, Andrew, Madison, and Julius are sitting at a table celebrating the huge victory in court. MAX You have to admit, MaxiLong has a good thing going. What did that settlement set them back? A couple months revenue? ANDREW If that. JEWEL I dont know which is worse. The way companies like MaxiLong manipulate the law for financial gain or the way we do. Max sighs. MAX Oh stop it, Jewel. Theres nothing more pathetic than a trial attorney (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 66 MAX (CONT'D) wallowing in a pool of morality after collecting an 8 million dollar fee.

JEWEL Im serious. What did we do in there today that was so glorious? We didnt save anyones life. We didnt bring the troops home. All we did was outsmart our opponent then bill the client an obscene amount of money for a couple hours of our time. ANDREW You have a gift, mom. If everyone could do what you do in the courtroom, we wouldnt be able to bill our clients obscene amounts of money. JEWEL But we dont build anything, son. We dont make anything. MAX I find it hard to take a person seriously when theyre quoting Richard Gere from Pretty Woman. ANDREW Nonetheless, moms sentiment rings true just the same. So from this point on all my services will be pro bono. I shall give back to the community that has so generously given to me over the years. JULIUS Great idea. Count me in. ANDREW I knew I could. MADISON Me as well. They clink their glasses together and take a sip. MAX And I wish the three of you well at your next employer. The law firm of Flat, Broke, and Busted. You want to (MORE)

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 67 MAX (CONT'D) give back to the community? Have a toy drive.

JEWEL Giving back isnt so bad. So long as your portfolio is maturing and you have substantial savings in an interest-bearing account. MAX We think so much alike its hard to imagine why we got divorced in the first place. JEWEL Oh thats an easy one... MADISON Please. Not here. MAX Well, speaking of giving back... Shame about Wilson Foxx. MADISON I know! I was shocked when I saw it on the news. You think it was really suicide? MAX I guess guilt can make one suicidal. JEWEL Youre still here. MAX My point exactly. I spoke to Jeff Cain at Trilogy this morning. The money miraculously made its way back into their bank account. Im guessing Wilson put it back before he jumped to his death. Or someone put it back after he jumped. ANDREW Or after they killed him. JULIUS Why would someone kill him then give the money back? How did you get to be a partner before me?

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 68

MADISON Or me? Speaking of which -JEWEL Can we change the subject? MAX Perhaps we should. He was a friend of your mothers. How you holding up, dear? Jewel doesnt answer. MAX (CONTD) I understand. Youre at a loss for words. Well, the truth to whatever happened to the guy well probably never know. Probably. ANDREW Whats that supposed to mean? MAX Nothing. Just keep billing Trilogy through the end of the week. ANDREW Theres nothing else to bill them for. MAX Find something. JULIUS In keeping with this theme of giving back, I have something Id like to give back to you, pops. Julius reaches under his chair and pulls out a gift wrapped box. He hands it to his father. MAX And all this time I thought your mother burned my little black book! Thank you, son. Jewel cuts her eyes at Max as he rips off the paper, revealing the box of 50 year old H. Upmann Corona Royal cigars. He gives Julius a comfortable smile.

THE FAMILY STONE - PILOT 69

MAX (CONTD) So youre the one who bought the last box from Marvin. Did I ever mention that you are my favorite child? JULIUS $6,000 for cigars is a steal when the box is worth 50. Max flips the box over revealing the bank seal. MAX I cant believe it. ANDREW I help bring in 8 mil, he nets 50 grand, yet, hes your favorite child? JEWEL Youve gotta admit hes astonishingly resourceful for a rapper. JULIUS Oh, you got jokes, mom? MAX I propose a toast. They all raise their glasses. MAX (CONTD) To your mother and Andrews brilliant day in court. To Juliuss procurement of these fine Cuban cigars -MADISON And to Ross, Perry and Associates offering me a partnership that Im going to accept. They all exclaim their What?s their, You cant be seriouss etc. MADISON (CONT'D) Cheers! She guzzles down her wine and EXITS amidst the family confusion. FADE TO BLACK.