I constantly question authority and believe it is my patriotic duty to live by the freedoms so dearly defended and it is very difficult

for me to make rules. I really don't like rules and will try to keep as few as possible. That being said here are some rules:

1. SANITATION: Flue and cold season is upon us. We must be reasonably careful. None of us can afford exposure to transmitted illnesses, particularly those suffering challenged health. a. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH THE BUDS: You can look and smell as closely as you like, but touching the buds puts all of us at unnecessary extra risk. Believe me, the buds are real or I would not offer them. b. INSIST I WEAR MY GLOVES: This is important and I seriously need your help. Please, please insist I put on the gloves before I weigh your bud. I am already vegging on it and depend on your help.

2. CALL TO CANCEL: I appreciate your all calling to let me know when you are coming, which has not been a problem. Please call also as soon as you realize you will not be coming.

3. SPECTATOR POLICY: We should count this blessing and maintain discretion where possible. I know almost everyone you know wants to see the "pot shop" and I would be the last to blame them. I know your friends and family are trust worthy, but what about their friends friends? People you don't even know. Please don't bring non-patients into the basement unless there is some need to do so.

4. ILLICIT DISCLOSURES: I have heard some patients mentioning that a friend or family member who is not a patient of mine has benefitted from the use of cannabis medicines I have provided. Some patients have mentioned they intend to share their medicine with others. Please do not do so. If a police officer were working undercover those are the sorts of things they might say to get me in trouble. Makes me uncomfortable.

5. WEIGHT DISCREPANCIES: Though the scale I use is accurate to within one one-thousandth of an ounce patients have pointed out instances of operator error on an alarmingly regular basis. It's hard to find good help these days. If a bag does not look right, please don't hesitate to ask me to weight it again. If it does not weigh right, I will make you whole and apologize in advance.

6. MAKE ME COUNT YOUR MONEY: Just as many times as I have been underpaid - I have been over paid. It is not a matter of intent.

7. CHECK MY MATH: There is always a calculator next to the scale and a pad and paper too. My math skills are okay if I am alone in a quiet, darkened room (and don't fall asleep), but otherwise lacking.

8. NO DRIVEWAY PARKING AFTER 3:30pm: My wife might arrive and if she cannot pull into the driveway w/o blocking your car, this will remain one of my multitudinous "issues". I realize my issues list is hopelessly long and not your problem, but if I don't make some token effort, I suffer mightily (to some extra degree).

9. HOURS of OPERATION: A conundrum for you patients has been knowing how early is too early to call and, similarly, how late is too late to call. This question of the calling hours will hereby be resolved thusly. In general, if it is too early or if it is too late, I just might not answer. No big deal. When I am with a patient or an insurance client, I do not generally take calls as I would consider it rude to do so. I have never slept beyond 8:00am for as long as I can remember. After 7:30pm I have to attend to familial responsibilities. So the calling hours are 8:00am until 7:30pm. Just call to let me know when to expect you.

10. SAMPLES: In order to help limit street traffic the 2 gram samples can only be purchased after you have gotten at least $50 of non-sample product(s).

11. LOGICAL RULE CHALLENGES: Please use logic and challenge these rules. I don't like rules and will happily shed/alter those that are illogical in any fashion. Pretend as though you are Spock. The only exception is #8. Rules made by my wife cannot be out-logic-ed despite my best repeated Spock-like efforts. She is the Kirk to my Spock.