A Christmas Musical

By James Jack and Cameron Smith

Summary
A humorous retelling of the Christmas story in a musical format, told through the rewriting a collection of secular Christmas songs to have a Christian message. Setting: Jerusalem, 5- B.C.

Characters:
!"B: #his was originally written for a kid$s clu%&Sunday school grou' to 'erform, with a leader taking the 'art of narrator.( "arrator)ary*a%riel !angel(+nnkee'erJose'hShe'herds !as many as you like, %ut there$s 5 mentioned in the final song(Angel,ise men !- is the suggested num%er(

Script
"arrator: )ary, the young lass who was meant to %e marrying Jose'h in a little while, was .ust going a%out her %usiness one day, when suddenly an angel of *od a''eared to her. She was afraid, %ecause angels didn$t a''ear to her very often. But the angel knew what she was feeling, so he sang a song to her, as you do: *a%riel: !to the tune of Santa Clause is coming to town( /ou %etter not scream, you %etter not cry /ou %etter not faint,

 +$m telling you why: #he Son of *od is coming to town. /ou$ll give %irth to him shortly,#hough you$ve %een with no man0e$ll %e king of the world for goodAnd that$s his 1ather$s 'lan. So, you %etter not shriek, you %etter not die,/ou %etter not 'uke,#his isn$t a lie2#he Son of *od is coming to town. "arrator: #hen the angel *a%riel left her, %ut he had 'ut )ary in a %it of singing mood. )ary: !$Santa Clause is coming to town$( + guess + should 'raise, + shouldn$t %e shy )y child is the 3ord And that$s no small fry. #he Son of *od is coming to town. "arrator: 4f course, nothing goes according to 'lan, and it .ust so ha''ened that )ary and Jo had to travel to Jose'h$s home town of Bethlehem for the Census. Some time later, they arrived late at night, with a very 'regnant )ary. #hey go from inn to inn, %ut everywhere they go, %right neon lights seem to flash "o 5acancy. +t was at this 'oint that they .ust ha''ened to %um' into an all singing, all dancing innkee'er./ou know the story of )ary and Jose'h and the she'herds and the wise guys,But do you recall the most im'ortant story of them all6 +nnkee'er: !#o the tune of $7udol'h the 7ed "osed 7eindeer$( *erald the innkee'er 0ad a very tiny inn And if you ever saw it, /ou$d know it was made of tin )ary and Jose'h came here So that they could s'end a night But everything was taken

 #here wasn$t a room in sight8 #hen a light %ul% came to mind,+ .ust had to say:)ary with your %a%y due,on$t you slee' ne9t to 'oo6+ have a sta%le em'ty:ta%/ou could slee' there for the night*ive %irth in the morning,And leave at first light8 "arrator: After %eing generously offered the sta%le to slee', and after negotiating the cows, shee', camels, llamas and other deni;ens of the farmyard, )ary gives %irth to a child. But this was no ordinary child - no, the child did not sing, %ut his 'arents did8 ) < J: !to the tune of $4h Christmas #ree$( Almighty *od, almighty *od, ,e thank you for our Saviour. Almighty *od, almighty *od,,e thank you for our Saviour#hough now he lies 0ere in this troughAnd this manure+ts smell is off2 Almighty *od, almighty *od,e thank you for our Saviour. "arrator: )eanwhile, !to $0igh on a 0ill$ from the Sound of )usic( 0igh on a hill were some lonely she'herds /o delay, yo etc Some angels came to tell them some news /o delay, yo delee, etc She'herds: But that$s not even a Christmas song8 "arrator: - But everyone else gets to sing8 + was missing out, and + .ust felt like .oining in8 1ine then8 #he angels, though, !%itter tone( they of course %roke into song $cos everyone e9ce't the "arrator gets to sing... Angel: !to the tune of $Jingle Bells$( Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, #he )essiah is here.

 4h what great news this is, Just gra% another %eer !re'eat( =ashing to the town+t$s where you should %e now0urry8 =on$t you frown.0e was %orn with a cow#hese are wondrous words,hich + say this night>ven to you nerds,hen you$re in such a fright84h8.Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ,#he )essiah is here.4h what great news this is,Just gra% another %eer "arrator: - So after gra%%ing another %eer, these "erdy she'herds could not hel' themselves, %ut had to sing, sing, sing- !#o $Clim% >very )ountain$( Clim% every hillside ,atch every shee' 1ollow every 'rime lam% till you fall aslee'8 She'herd: #hat$s still not a Christmas carol8 !to the tune of $1rosty the Snowman$( Jesus the Saviour is a %a%y %oy they said 0e was %orn in a %arn with a few cows And a manger for his %ed Jesus the Saviour will do more than .ust cry8 *od sent him to this world to forgive our sins and die8 "arrator - *ee, he knows an awful lot for .ust a she'herd8 At the same time, 1rom far off, a certain num%er of wise men came. #here may have %een three, %ut the information as to their 'recise numerality has not %een divulged to us. #hey %rought gifts of gold, incense and myrrh - 'erha's a few couldn$t afford 'resents, or felt that their 'resence was 'resent enough. )ay%e the long .ourney had eaten into their resources and some had to give .oint gifts. + sus'ect that one or two may have felt uncomforta%le a%out giving so much 'erfume to a male %a%y. ,hatever the case, they followed a star to the

house where Jose'h, )ary and Jesus were staying. As with most other characters in this story, they were very musically inclined - in enthusiasm if not skill. !wise men enter carrying a car%oard star and ?following? it( ,ise men: !to $=eck the halls$( ,e come to worshi' from the east8 3a la, etc #hough 0erod wants the %oy deceased. 3a, la, etc ,e$ve found the @ing - to the star refer 3a, la, etc ,e %ear good gifts of gold and myrrh. 3a, la, etc "arrator: +ns'iring8 A%solutely ins'iring8 !to $0ow do you solve a 'ro%lem like )aria$( 0ow do you solve a 'ro%lem like the wise men6 0ow do you teach - leaders how to sing6 #hey$re not in time8 #hey don$t even rhyme #hey$re sad8 4, how do you ,ise )en: ,hat is your o%session with that movie68 "arrator: 1ine then8 + can take a hint8 Anyway, as in all musical 'roductions, it would %e 'retty 'ointless if we did not end with one final huge song, featuring the entire cast8 S4, in the true S'irit of all such Christmas )usicals, you$ll %e 'leased to know that Jesus was %orn safely into the world, the she'herds found the Ba%y Jesus %y following his loud crying, the - ,ise )en followed a star, and they all lived ha''ily ever after....4r did they6 =id something else ha''en after the first AB minutes of Jesus$ life6 ,hy didn$t *od .ust end the story there6 ,hy$d he have to go and kill off his own Son6 And why do we sing

these ridiculous songs every year6 0ere$s one you may not %e so familiar with - our grand finale8 !to the tune of $#he #welve =ays of Christmas$( All: ,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we, 4ne inn, %ut no vacancy ,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,#wo smelly 'arents,And one inn, %ut no vacancy,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,#hree in a shed,#wo smelly 'arents,And one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,1our %ovines #hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,1ive she'herds1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy. ,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,Si9 wise men1ive she'herds1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy. ,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,Seven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,>ight 'ints of myrrhSeven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds1our %ovines #hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,"ine months of growth>ight 'ints of myrrhSeven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds 1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,#en %ars of gold "ine months of growth>ight 'ints of myrrhSeven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od

gave to we,>leven hours of la%our#en %ars of gold "ine months of growth>ight 'ints of myrrhSeven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd one inn, %ut no vacancy.,ith the %irth of the )essiah, the 3ord *od gave to we,#welve do;ey shee'>leven hours of la%our #en %ars of gold"ine months of growth>ight 'ints of myrrhSeven silly songsSi9 wise men1ive she'herds 1our %ovines#hree in a shed#wo smelly 'arentsAnd his own son, and that for free. ........................................................... C Co'yright %y James Jack gdayD%ruceEhotmail.com and Cameron Smith cam%o%ABAEhotmail.com All rights reserved. #his 'lay may %e 'erformed free of charge in any not-for-'rofit situation. 0owever, in return the authors would a''reciate %eing notified of any 'erformance.